1
00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:03,937
Here you go, Hazelnut.

2
00:00:03,942 --> 00:00:04,942
Thanks, Grampy.

3
00:00:04,947 --> 00:00:06,695
- Maple syrup?
- Flying in.

4
00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:09,396
Oh. Jam?

5
00:00:09,401 --> 00:00:10,750
Flying in.

6
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:13,015
You sure you don't want a waffle?

7
00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:15,532
No, thank you. I'm
having some mushed banana.

8
00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:16,921
Oh, I used to eat that.

9
00:00:16,926 --> 00:00:18,317
- Really?
- Yeah.

10
00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:19,758
When I was four weeks old.

11
00:00:19,763 --> 00:00:21,025
Burn.

12
00:00:22,234 --> 00:00:23,931
Your wisdom teeth still bothering you?

13
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:25,025
A little.

14
00:00:25,499 --> 00:00:26,571
[GROANS SOFTLY]

15
00:00:26,576 --> 00:00:27,965
Want me to chew this up
and spit it in your mouth

16
00:00:27,969 --> 00:00:29,468
like a baby bird?

17
00:00:32,355 --> 00:00:34,397
You need to go to the dentist
and get those things pulled.

18
00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:35,893
Oh, can I have your teeth?

19
00:00:35,898 --> 00:00:37,789
- Why?
- For the tooth fairy.

20
00:00:39,118 --> 00:00:40,818
Okay. What is she talking about?

21
00:00:40,823 --> 00:00:42,039
When a kid loses their tooth,

22
00:00:42,044 --> 00:00:43,306
they put it under their pillow

23
00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:44,823
and the tooth fairy leaves them money.

24
00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,307
And you believe this is real?

25
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:47,851
I believe money's real.

26
00:00:48,117 --> 00:00:50,914
Wait a minute, you've been
playing us this whole time?

27
00:00:50,919 --> 00:00:52,221
I'm not playing anyone.

28
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:54,570
I'm just a wittle girl who wants a PS5.

29
00:01:09,866 --> 00:01:11,186
Why does the dentist need to know

30
00:01:11,191 --> 00:01:13,179
if my mother has a
history of heart disease?

31
00:01:13,184 --> 00:01:15,882
I don't think she does, but
now I'm worried about it.

32
00:01:15,887 --> 00:01:17,648
Just put "no."

33
00:01:18,552 --> 00:01:21,023
Have I ever had an adverse reaction

34
00:01:21,028 --> 00:01:22,812
to a medical procedure?

35
00:01:22,872 --> 00:01:24,846
Yeah, when you get the bill.

36
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:26,956
[LAUGHS]

37
00:01:27,996 --> 00:01:30,259
Uh, that's solid, you can use it.

38
00:01:32,078 --> 00:01:33,528
What are you in for?

39
00:01:33,784 --> 00:01:35,679
- Cleaning.
- Nice.

40
00:01:37,093 --> 00:01:38,734
I've never had a cavity.

41
00:01:39,306 --> 00:01:40,539
Okay.

42
00:01:40,544 --> 00:01:42,484
Not a brag, just the truth.

43
00:01:45,375 --> 00:01:47,537
Thank you again for driving me, Mr. Art,

44
00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:49,109
but I could've done it myself.

45
00:01:49,114 --> 00:01:50,322
Oh, no.

46
00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:51,422
With the drugs you'll be on,

47
00:01:51,426 --> 00:01:53,313
you could get in the wrong
cab and wake up on a park bench

48
00:01:53,317 --> 00:01:54,626
missing a kidney.

49
00:01:54,631 --> 00:01:55,632
That happens?

50
00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:56,899
Heard it on a podcast.

51
00:01:58,026 --> 00:01:59,462
Pretty gruesome stuff.

52
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,121
[CHUCKLES]

53
00:02:05,523 --> 00:02:07,179
I can't feel any of this.

54
00:02:07,404 --> 00:02:09,623
It feels like someone else's face.

55
00:02:10,288 --> 00:02:11,709
It's yours.

56
00:02:11,714 --> 00:02:13,151
No, no, touch it.

57
00:02:15,384 --> 00:02:16,951
See? It's weird.

58
00:02:16,956 --> 00:02:19,453
Yeah, it was weird in the
parking lot, it's weird now.

59
00:02:20,648 --> 00:02:22,062
We have to make one stop.

60
00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:23,390
Riley wants me to pick up beer.

61
00:02:23,395 --> 00:02:24,573
Oh, yes.

62
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,102
The prince needs his beer,

63
00:02:26,107 --> 00:02:28,648
and his butler will get it for him.

64
00:02:30,616 --> 00:02:31,848
What's that supposed to mean?

65
00:02:31,853 --> 00:02:34,888
Eh, he treats you more like
a servant than a father.

66
00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:37,418
But don't blame
yourself, it's your fault.

67
00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:40,124
Wait, how's it my fault?

68
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,510
You have no authority in your home

69
00:02:42,515 --> 00:02:45,929
because you allow your
children to walk all over you.

70
00:02:46,976 --> 00:02:48,515
You saying I'm a bad father?

71
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,643
Yes, exactly, thank you.

72
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:51,997
You are a bad father.

73
00:02:52,002 --> 00:02:53,867
I couldn't remember the word.

74
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:57,421
They don't walk all over me.

75
00:02:57,812 --> 00:02:59,195
- Who?
- My kids.

76
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:00,523
Oh, what about them?

77
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:03,570
- Never mind.
- Mm.

78
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,187
[RATTLING]

79
00:03:10,011 --> 00:03:12,883
Oh, my God, there are
teeth in my pocket.

80
00:03:13,122 --> 00:03:14,734
Am I the tooth fairy?

81
00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:20,564
[GROANS]

82
00:03:21,196 --> 00:03:23,062
Hey, sleepyhead.

83
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,465
How do you feel?

84
00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:26,690
Back to 100%.

85
00:03:29,646 --> 00:03:31,213
Here.

86
00:03:32,363 --> 00:03:35,757
Just wondering, what'd
you say to my dad?

87
00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:37,347
What are you talking about?

88
00:03:37,352 --> 00:03:39,475
He's mad about something.

89
00:03:40,328 --> 00:03:41,585
Really?

90
00:03:41,687 --> 00:03:44,187
Said he wished the doctor
sewed your mouth shut.

91
00:03:46,656 --> 00:03:49,742
Things do get a little
hazy after the waiting room.

92
00:03:50,421 --> 00:03:51,771
You don't remember?

93
00:03:51,776 --> 00:03:53,256
No.

94
00:03:53,261 --> 00:03:56,007
Which is odd, because I
have a very strong brain

95
00:03:56,012 --> 00:03:58,218
thanks to the almonds
my mother gave me every morning.

96
00:03:59,146 --> 00:04:01,875
Baby boy had his first blackout.

97
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,447
I can't believe I missed it.

98
00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:05,584
I'd say tell me everything, but...

99
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,828
What happens in a blackout?

100
00:04:10,139 --> 00:04:12,618
In my experience, you have a few beers,

101
00:04:12,623 --> 00:04:14,843
then you blink and it's the next day,

102
00:04:14,848 --> 00:04:17,257
and people are mad and you
might have a new tattoo.

103
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,867
And you get a text from a strange number

104
00:04:19,872 --> 00:04:22,226
that just says, "Thanks."

105
00:04:23,718 --> 00:04:26,664
[SIGHS] God knows what I
might have said to your father.

106
00:04:27,012 --> 00:04:28,579
How am I going to show my face to him?

107
00:04:28,584 --> 00:04:29,929
Well, be a man.

108
00:04:29,934 --> 00:04:33,067
Go face the music while I
watch from a safe distance.

109
00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:36,319
[AL GROANS QUIETLY]

110
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:51,639
Hello.

111
00:04:58,249 --> 00:04:59,898
Uh, what are you doing?

112
00:04:59,984 --> 00:05:01,492
Baking a cake.

113
00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:04,023
Good one.

114
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:07,546
I'm gonna have some applesauce.

115
00:05:09,425 --> 00:05:11,703
My gums are a little sore.

116
00:05:11,708 --> 00:05:14,132
Probably from all the
flapping they were doing.

117
00:05:17,667 --> 00:05:20,101
You know what's so funny?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

118
00:05:20,915 --> 00:05:23,359
I don't remember
anything we talked about.

119
00:05:23,632 --> 00:05:25,000
You done with this?

120
00:05:26,695 --> 00:05:28,915
Yes, I am quite full. Thank you.

121
00:05:30,668 --> 00:05:32,409
You don't remember what you said?

122
00:05:32,414 --> 00:05:33,789
No, I do not.

123
00:05:33,794 --> 00:05:36,664
Let me give you the highlights.
You called me a bad father.

124
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:37,887
[WHISTLES]

125
00:05:38,245 --> 00:05:39,464
That must be a mistake.

126
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:40,554
Well, it isn't.

127
00:05:40,559 --> 00:05:42,492
And you said I let my
kids walk all over me.

128
00:05:42,497 --> 00:05:44,016
I-I would never say anything like that.

129
00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:46,468
- Well, you did.
- There's no way I meant it, Mr. Art.

130
00:05:46,473 --> 00:05:47,687
Oh, you meant it.

131
00:05:47,692 --> 00:05:49,132
You got a hit of truth serum in you,

132
00:05:49,137 --> 00:05:51,270
and you said exactly what you think.

133
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:53,696
Mr. Art, I-I am so mortified.

134
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:55,746
I have nothing but the
utmost respect for you,

135
00:05:55,751 --> 00:05:57,148
- and I would never...
- Save it.

136
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:59,999
This whole "respect your
elders" song and dance,

137
00:06:00,004 --> 00:06:01,832
I'm not buying it.

138
00:06:09,624 --> 00:06:10,914
Why are you smiling?

139
00:06:11,140 --> 00:06:13,343
Sorry. I'm just happy it's not me.

140
00:06:13,348 --> 00:06:14,871
[GROANS]

141
00:06:27,879 --> 00:06:28,924
Hey.

142
00:06:29,869 --> 00:06:30,869
Hello, Hazel.

143
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,910
You got those teeth for me?

144
00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:35,367
Oh, right.

145
00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:37,658
I need 'em by lights out.

146
00:06:41,562 --> 00:06:42,693
What you doing?

147
00:06:42,698 --> 00:06:44,671
- Hiding.
- Been there.

148
00:06:45,253 --> 00:06:46,937
Know what's a great hiding spot?

149
00:06:47,050 --> 00:06:48,203
Where?

150
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,929
Let's just say, there's a bag of Oreos

151
00:06:49,934 --> 00:06:52,156
and a juice box under the bathroom sink.

152
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,250
Hmm.

153
00:06:53,255 --> 00:06:54,882
I don't think I can fit in there.

154
00:06:54,887 --> 00:06:56,236
Bummer.

155
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:57,812
Well, when my report card comes,

156
00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,035
you know where to find me.

157
00:07:07,766 --> 00:07:09,598
Why don't you take a painkiller?

158
00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:11,500
No, I deserve this pain.

159
00:07:11,861 --> 00:07:13,210
[SCOFFS] Don't feel bad.

160
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:15,391
Pissing off Dad is a rite of passage.

161
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:16,818
You're a Dugan now.

162
00:07:16,823 --> 00:07:17,875
Yeah.

163
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:20,093
When it happens to me, I just
wait for Riley to screw up

164
00:07:20,098 --> 00:07:21,101
and take the heat.

165
00:07:21,106 --> 00:07:22,412
Oh, I want a brother.

166
00:07:24,284 --> 00:07:26,852
Dinner is served.

167
00:07:28,634 --> 00:07:30,445
Ribs and corn on the cob?

168
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,960
He just had dental surgery.

169
00:07:31,965 --> 00:07:34,078
It's okay, I can lick it.

170
00:07:41,975 --> 00:07:43,179
This is great, Grampy.

171
00:07:43,184 --> 00:07:44,296
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.

172
00:07:44,301 --> 00:07:46,809
I enjoyed buying,
cooking it and serving it,

173
00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:49,429
because I'm basically
just a butler around here.

174
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:52,398
[SIGHS]

175
00:07:52,403 --> 00:07:53,752
Mr. Art, I-I...

176
00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:56,253
I think this whole thing
is a misunderstanding.

177
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:58,401
- Mm-hmm.
- You are not a bad father.

178
00:07:58,406 --> 00:08:01,304
You're just an American father,
raising American children

179
00:08:01,309 --> 00:08:02,992
in a permissive Western culture.

180
00:08:02,997 --> 00:08:04,109
Permissive, huh?

181
00:08:04,114 --> 00:08:06,882
Yes, and i-it is just different
than what I am used to,

182
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,735
because we are taught to
serve and respect elders

183
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:09,976
without question.

184
00:08:09,981 --> 00:08:12,203
Oh, I see, so it's not
me you disapprove of,

185
00:08:12,208 --> 00:08:13,749
it's my culture.

186
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,495
You know what I do not disapprove of?

187
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,279
These ribs.

188
00:08:18,556 --> 00:08:21,278
Maybe I don't want my
kids to be afraid of me.

189
00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:23,859
I think it's good that we
all say whatever we think.

190
00:08:24,043 --> 00:08:25,630
Sort of like you on the goofy juice.

191
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:28,024
- Dad.
- I mean, you're living in my house,

192
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,781
criticizing my country,

193
00:08:29,786 --> 00:08:31,546
coming from a place
where they-they send kids

194
00:08:31,551 --> 00:08:32,937
to work when they're eight.

195
00:08:32,942 --> 00:08:34,781
Those parents are desperate.

196
00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:37,821
That is what 40 years
of war does to a country.

197
00:08:38,911 --> 00:08:40,732
Oh, I suppose that's
America's fault, too?

198
00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:41,738
Don't answer that.

199
00:08:41,743 --> 00:08:42,961
No, I want to hear it.

200
00:08:42,966 --> 00:08:44,047
I want to hear the actual truth

201
00:08:44,051 --> 00:08:46,280
out of this guy for once. Sorry, twice.

202
00:08:46,285 --> 00:08:49,985
Fine. Yes. It is America's fault.

203
00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:51,869
And China, Pakistan, Iran, Russia

204
00:08:51,874 --> 00:08:53,876
for using my country as a game board.

205
00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:55,404
Excuse me.

206
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,323
How can you talk to him like that?

207
00:09:01,328 --> 00:09:03,031
Oh, sure, point out all my faults.

208
00:09:03,036 --> 00:09:04,907
I'll start: I have a bad temper.

209
00:09:05,694 --> 00:09:07,822
You're embarrassing yourself.

210
00:09:08,303 --> 00:09:09,445
See ya.

211
00:09:14,861 --> 00:09:17,039
I don't think I was
supposed to hear any of that.

212
00:09:26,704 --> 00:09:27,890
What are you doing?

213
00:09:27,895 --> 00:09:29,617
Unburdening your father.

214
00:09:29,622 --> 00:09:31,312
Man, you know he didn't mean it.

215
00:09:32,593 --> 00:09:34,987
The worst insult to an Afghan man

216
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:36,192
is to invite him to your house

217
00:09:36,197 --> 00:09:37,764
and then tell him he is a burden.

218
00:09:38,671 --> 00:09:41,015
Thought the worst insult
was calling someone a pimp.

219
00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:42,156
It is.

220
00:09:42,161 --> 00:09:43,335
And a dog.

221
00:09:43,340 --> 00:09:44,742
We have more than one insult.

222
00:09:44,747 --> 00:09:46,270
It's a rich culture.

223
00:09:47,304 --> 00:09:48,914
I can't stay here.

224
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:51,222
Okay.

225
00:09:56,246 --> 00:09:57,328
What are you doing?

226
00:09:57,333 --> 00:09:58,437
I'm coming with you.

227
00:09:58,442 --> 00:09:59,836
No, no, no, no, no. You can't do that.

228
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:00,840
Why not?

229
00:10:00,845 --> 00:10:02,657
Because if it is a choice
between me and your family,

230
00:10:02,661 --> 00:10:04,687
you should always choose your family.

231
00:10:06,102 --> 00:10:07,796
You are family.

232
00:10:08,457 --> 00:10:11,515
Besides, I'm older than you,
so you have to do as I say.

233
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,023
Mm, we don't know for
sure that you're older

234
00:10:14,028 --> 00:10:15,468
because I don't know my birthday.

235
00:10:15,473 --> 00:10:17,431
Well, you look like a 12-year-old

236
00:10:17,436 --> 00:10:18,996
who had a growth spurt over the summer.

237
00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:20,306
And you look like Superman

238
00:10:20,311 --> 00:10:22,453
if his special power
was drinking too much.

239
00:10:23,171 --> 00:10:24,319
Wow.

240
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,164
Your culture is good at insults.

241
00:10:29,465 --> 00:10:32,265
ANNOUNCER: But thermal expansion
is not just affecting humans...

242
00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:33,445
What you watching?

243
00:10:33,450 --> 00:10:35,452
Documentary about climate change.

244
00:10:35,812 --> 00:10:37,115
Can't find the remote?

245
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,165
Nope.

246
00:10:39,115 --> 00:10:40,635
Mind if I join you?

247
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,765
Sure.

248
00:10:41,770 --> 00:10:43,902
It's a free country, unlike Afghanistan.

249
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,882
Oh, good, you've moved on.

250
00:10:47,203 --> 00:10:48,696
I mean, the guy tells
me how to be a parent.

251
00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:50,122
He doesn't even have kids.

252
00:10:50,578 --> 00:10:51,976
You're not a quarterback,

253
00:10:51,981 --> 00:10:54,375
but you're always yelling
at the TV, "Throw it."

254
00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:56,359
Well, Baker Mayfield
doesn't live with me.

255
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,540
And if he did, I'd show him

256
00:10:57,545 --> 00:10:58,905
how to beat the freaking Steelers.

257
00:11:01,301 --> 00:11:03,007
Ugh. Climate change.

258
00:11:03,012 --> 00:11:04,100
Want to watch?

259
00:11:04,105 --> 00:11:05,812
Oh, no, I get it. We're doomed.

260
00:11:05,817 --> 00:11:06,937
Yeah, sorry, kiddo.

261
00:11:06,942 --> 00:11:09,007
Add it to the list of
things I screwed up.

262
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,765
Yeah, I'm gonna wait for Mom outside.

263
00:11:19,450 --> 00:11:21,750
Are you sure we don't
want to go to a motel?

264
00:11:21,755 --> 00:11:24,330
Wow, I remember when you
could lean against a rock

265
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:25,617
and sleep standing up.

266
00:11:25,622 --> 00:11:27,022
Now you want to hang out in a motel

267
00:11:27,027 --> 00:11:28,460
like The Great Gatsby.

268
00:11:28,465 --> 00:11:30,250
There is no way you read that book.

269
00:11:30,255 --> 00:11:31,605
They made it into a book?

270
00:11:32,957 --> 00:11:35,476
Come on, man, we finally
get to use our sweet gear.

271
00:11:35,481 --> 00:11:36,874
We got headlamps, camp stove.

272
00:11:36,879 --> 00:11:39,101
Oh, bro, look at this.
Look at this, look at this.

273
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:42,571
It's a cup. Where'd it go?

274
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,375
Oh, there it is again.

275
00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:45,860
You cannot do that in a motel.

276
00:11:45,865 --> 00:11:47,945
You absolutely could.

277
00:11:48,372 --> 00:11:50,531
You and I have had fun roughing it

278
00:11:50,536 --> 00:11:52,277
in way worse places than this.

279
00:11:52,282 --> 00:11:53,460
True.

280
00:11:53,465 --> 00:11:55,812
And if it gets cold, we
can always build a sandali.

281
00:11:55,817 --> 00:11:57,732
That's the spirit.

282
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:00,468
What's a sandali?

283
00:12:00,473 --> 00:12:03,406
Oh, you put a pot of hot
coal under a low table

284
00:12:03,411 --> 00:12:05,771
and cover it with a blanket,
then you get under the blanket.

285
00:12:05,776 --> 00:12:07,809
It is the warmest thing in the world.

286
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,903
How do you not die of
carbon monoxide poisoning?

287
00:12:09,908 --> 00:12:12,737
Sometimes you do, but it
is a very cozy way to go.

288
00:12:14,671 --> 00:12:16,460
You guys are running away from home?

289
00:12:16,465 --> 00:12:17,687
Are you ten?

290
00:12:17,913 --> 00:12:19,148
How did you find us?

291
00:12:19,153 --> 00:12:21,808
With my eyeballs,
you're across the street.

292
00:12:22,721 --> 00:12:24,796
I can't live in your
father's house anymore.

293
00:12:24,801 --> 00:12:26,847
So you decided to build a fort?

294
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:29,921
Should I even be here?
Are girls allowed?

295
00:12:30,953 --> 00:12:33,051
This is a serious thing.

296
00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:35,227
He insulted Al and his country.

297
00:12:35,446 --> 00:12:38,267
LIZZIE: Look, what Dad said is not cool,

298
00:12:38,272 --> 00:12:40,753
but he is a very stubborn man,
and if you don't apologize,

299
00:12:40,758 --> 00:12:42,631
we're gonna have another Uncle Charlie.

300
00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:44,089
Uncle Charlie?

301
00:12:44,094 --> 00:12:46,053
Dad and his brother had
a fight 15 years ago,

302
00:12:46,058 --> 00:12:47,667
and they haven't spoken since.

303
00:12:47,672 --> 00:12:49,175
Oh, what was the fight about?

304
00:12:49,180 --> 00:12:50,776
How to pronounce "wheelbarrow."

305
00:12:50,781 --> 00:12:52,391
Isn't it "wheelbarrel"?

306
00:12:52,462 --> 00:12:54,237
That's how it started.

307
00:12:54,927 --> 00:12:57,162
Just come in the house.

308
00:12:57,175 --> 00:13:00,307
Send Dad out here to
apologize and we'll come in.

309
00:13:00,312 --> 00:13:02,559
And give him his remote.

310
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:04,000
[GASPS]

311
00:13:04,636 --> 00:13:07,011
Al, aren't you the reasonable one?

312
00:13:07,016 --> 00:13:08,768
Mr. Art doesn't want me there.

313
00:13:08,773 --> 00:13:10,245
He doesn't want any of us there.

314
00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:13,688
No. His respect for me
has collapsed like a cup.

315
00:13:16,266 --> 00:13:18,698
I wish I lived with girls.

316
00:13:24,456 --> 00:13:26,980
So, you're sure you
don't want to do a motel?

317
00:13:32,807 --> 00:13:34,354
What are you doing out here?

318
00:13:34,542 --> 00:13:36,557
Your brother's a piece of work.

319
00:13:36,562 --> 00:13:38,487
Oh, drinking.

320
00:13:38,781 --> 00:13:42,088
He sided with Al instead
of his own father.

321
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:44,908
Maybe I did screw him up.

322
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,245
Al's wrong.

323
00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:48,600
Is he?

324
00:13:48,771 --> 00:13:50,425
Ain't been wrong about nothing yet.

325
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,953
Kid's a damn genius.

326
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:54,785
Come on, nobody walks all over you.

327
00:13:54,852 --> 00:13:56,593
You're a total hard-ass.

328
00:13:56,598 --> 00:13:58,078
In high school, I hated you.

329
00:13:58,083 --> 00:14:00,651
Eh, you're just saying
what I want to hear.

330
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,968
Come on, you're a great dad.

331
00:14:05,194 --> 00:14:07,370
No, I failed you.

332
00:14:08,335 --> 00:14:10,620
I'm the reason you are...

333
00:14:11,447 --> 00:14:13,065
how you are.

334
00:14:14,597 --> 00:14:15,972
I like who I am.

335
00:14:15,977 --> 00:14:17,239
No, you don't.

336
00:14:17,506 --> 00:14:19,203
Look at that hair.

337
00:14:19,371 --> 00:14:22,003
Am I talking to my daughter
or a damn peacock?

338
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:25,034
Okay, I chose these colors myself.

339
00:14:25,039 --> 00:14:27,041
Stop rubbing it in.

340
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,698
This reminds me of those nights on watch

341
00:14:36,703 --> 00:14:39,073
where the choice was talk
to you or die of boredom.

342
00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:40,819
[CHUCKLES]

343
00:14:40,824 --> 00:14:42,455
Yeah, remember that time
we spent the whole night

344
00:14:42,459 --> 00:14:43,901
listing all the foods we'd eaten?

345
00:14:43,906 --> 00:14:46,228
Oh, yes. Apples, apricots...

346
00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:47,887
Okay. We don't have to do it again.

347
00:14:49,075 --> 00:14:51,104
Do you think your father
will ever forgive me?

348
00:14:51,109 --> 00:14:52,408
Forgive you?

349
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:53,659
He was a total ass.

350
00:14:53,664 --> 00:14:55,010
- Ah, don't say that about him.
- It's true.

351
00:14:55,014 --> 00:14:56,206
It doesn't matter.

352
00:14:56,211 --> 00:14:57,316
So, seriously, you think just

353
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,644
'cause he's the oldest
person in our house

354
00:14:58,648 --> 00:14:59,690
he can never be wrong?

355
00:14:59,695 --> 00:15:01,682
Well, even if he is,
you don't bring it up.

356
00:15:01,687 --> 00:15:03,839
That makes no sense to me.

357
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:05,714
When you were in the Marines,

358
00:15:05,719 --> 00:15:07,684
did you ever tell a general
he was wrong?

359
00:15:07,977 --> 00:15:08,977
Once.

360
00:15:08,982 --> 00:15:11,729
I politely noted we were
driving in the wrong direction.

361
00:15:11,734 --> 00:15:12,972
Hmm. And what happened?

362
00:15:12,977 --> 00:15:14,879
Uh, he couldn't hear me.
I said it really quietly.

363
00:15:14,883 --> 00:15:16,450
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

364
00:15:19,598 --> 00:15:21,382
You never had a fight with your dad?

365
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:23,923
No, I-I would never.

366
00:15:25,453 --> 00:15:27,846
But I was also very young when he died.

367
00:15:29,331 --> 00:15:31,533
That is why this is so hard.

368
00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:34,628
Mr. Art is the closest
thing to a father I have.

369
00:15:35,046 --> 00:15:37,004
Ugh. You and me both.

370
00:15:37,009 --> 00:15:38,880
[CHUCKLES]

371
00:15:40,034 --> 00:15:41,239
[SIGHS]

372
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:43,246
I feel awful for driving a wedge

373
00:15:43,251 --> 00:15:44,964
- between a son and his father.
- Oh, stop.

374
00:15:44,969 --> 00:15:46,707
I never thought I would
become a home-wrecker.

375
00:15:46,711 --> 00:15:49,167
Mm, home-wrecker means
something completely different.

376
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,073
Don't ask me how I know.

377
00:15:55,209 --> 00:15:56,776
Bananas...

378
00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,218
blueberries...

379
00:15:58,223 --> 00:15:59,529
RILEY: Corn.

380
00:16:02,230 --> 00:16:04,262
[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER TV]

381
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:05,312
[DOOR OPENS]

382
00:16:05,317 --> 00:16:07,331
- Dad. Dad, wake up.
- What? What?

383
00:16:07,336 --> 00:16:08,772
- Lizzie got in a car crash.
- What?

384
00:16:08,777 --> 00:16:10,066
- She's in the hospital.
- Is she okay?

385
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,724
I don't know. Come on.

386
00:16:11,950 --> 00:16:13,432
Uh, Mr. Art, I hope you can forgi...

387
00:16:13,437 --> 00:16:14,847
Not now.

388
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,472
I'll go back and find a nurse.

389
00:16:23,477 --> 00:16:24,609
Okay.

390
00:16:24,661 --> 00:16:26,850
Hello, anybody work here?

391
00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:28,988
[SIREN BLARING IN DISTANCE]

392
00:16:41,612 --> 00:16:44,177
- Mr. Art, again, I wanted to say...
- Can we not?

393
00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:47,987
I have to.

394
00:16:48,861 --> 00:16:50,792
This is all my fault.

395
00:16:51,787 --> 00:16:53,307
If I had never opened my mouth,

396
00:16:53,894 --> 00:16:55,066
we would never have been in a fight.

397
00:16:55,070 --> 00:16:56,300
You would not be drinking.

398
00:16:56,305 --> 00:16:57,753
She would not have left.

399
00:16:58,371 --> 00:16:59,895
This all started with me.

400
00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,233
Started long before you showed up.

401
00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:03,268
Oh, Mr. Art,

402
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:05,378
you could not be further
away from a bad father.

403
00:17:05,383 --> 00:17:07,261
I said what I said when I was on drugs.

404
00:17:07,266 --> 00:17:08,833
Who cares?

405
00:17:09,123 --> 00:17:10,733
It's the truth.

406
00:17:11,237 --> 00:17:14,378
When Lizzie wanted to
move back home, I let her.

407
00:17:14,705 --> 00:17:17,708
Maybe I should have
made her go to school.

408
00:17:18,174 --> 00:17:20,706
And everything with Riley... [SCOFFS]

409
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:23,216
I mean, I pushed him into the Marines

410
00:17:23,221 --> 00:17:25,175
since the day he was born.

411
00:17:25,821 --> 00:17:28,690
He enlisted during a war,
and all I could think of was,

412
00:17:29,050 --> 00:17:31,050
"Damn, that kid's brave."

413
00:17:33,161 --> 00:17:34,722
I had no idea.

414
00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:41,753
The years I spent with Riley,

415
00:17:43,207 --> 00:17:46,448
I don't remember a single time
he blamed you for anything.

416
00:17:48,105 --> 00:17:49,831
And when he talked about you,

417
00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:53,323
he spoke with so much love and respect.

418
00:17:56,759 --> 00:17:59,136
I also feel that way about you.

419
00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:04,448
I know.

420
00:18:06,175 --> 00:18:07,567
She's okay.

421
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:10,089
Just dislocated her
shoulder and banged her head.

422
00:18:10,094 --> 00:18:11,714
Oh, thank God.

423
00:18:13,234 --> 00:18:14,627
You guys made up?

424
00:18:16,542 --> 00:18:18,048
All right, then,

425
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:19,310
here's your remote.

426
00:18:19,589 --> 00:18:21,456
Son of a bitch.

427
00:18:21,461 --> 00:18:24,813
When you apologize to me,
you get the batteries.

428
00:18:26,417 --> 00:18:28,409
You never take a man's remote.

429
00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:40,792
- You in pain?
- Yeah.

430
00:18:40,797 --> 00:18:42,451
I was talking to her.

431
00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:46,706
Two aspirin for you,
and two aspirin for you.

432
00:18:46,711 --> 00:18:48,104
Thank you.

433
00:18:48,451 --> 00:18:50,062
Hmm.

434
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:55,386
[GROANS] You know,
the second you feel better,

435
00:18:55,391 --> 00:18:57,349
I'm-a yell at you for being so stupid.

436
00:18:57,832 --> 00:18:59,393
Cool.

437
00:18:59,777 --> 00:19:01,370
I mean, texting and driving?

438
00:19:01,375 --> 00:19:02,681
You said you were gonna wait.

439
00:19:02,686 --> 00:19:03,991
Oh, I am.

440
00:19:05,262 --> 00:19:07,362
Here you go, Dad. Eat up.

441
00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:08,792
Thanks, son.

442
00:19:12,425 --> 00:19:15,034
Mom says it only works
with your own teeth.