1
00:00:20,708 --> 00:00:22,833
‎謝天謝地，只是噩夢一場

2
00:00:27,083 --> 00:00:30,291
‎沒關係，但丁的雞雞再也無法傷害你

3
00:00:30,375 --> 00:00:33,375
‎它被你丟進垃圾桶，現在就在裡面

4
00:00:34,083 --> 00:00:35,833
‎哦，慘了

5
00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:41,416
‎不，不可能

6
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,916
‎我相信玻璃破掉一定有單純的解釋

7
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,708
‎也許是被本地變態打破的

8
00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:49,666
‎但我用馬桶把你幹掉了！

9
00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:56,625
‎這是我最心愛的剪紙刀
‎但碰到萬不得以的時候…

10
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,125
‎你為什麼不死了就算了？

11
00:01:01,208 --> 00:01:03,125
‎但願我用不著這麼狠

12
00:01:03,208 --> 00:01:05,833
‎其實我並不喜歡把雞雞分屍

13
00:01:05,916 --> 00:01:08,375
‎在家看電視的觀眾不喜歡看到這種事

14
00:01:08,458 --> 00:01:10,958
‎即使是卡通，看了也不舒服

15
00:01:11,041 --> 00:01:15,500
‎即使是卡通

16
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:22,583
‎僅供參考，我要把這根雞雞剪成碎片

17
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,166
‎然後再放進微波盧

18
00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:27,333
‎除非你們想看

19
00:01:27,416 --> 00:01:29,916
‎你們最好希望畫面很快就切到…

20
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,291
‎人資部

21
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:07,708
‎拜託，快點啦！

22
00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:10,625
‎-渾蛋，閃開啦
‎-借過

23
00:02:10,708 --> 00:02:13,958
‎你們不曉得
‎今天是什麼日子？週五免費貝果日

24
00:02:14,041 --> 00:02:17,333
‎拜託什麼都有貝果還有剩

25
00:02:17,416 --> 00:02:20,916
‎-這些貝果不只什麼都有
‎-還是唯一好吃的貝果！

26
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,291
‎對不起，這是最後一個什麼都有

27
00:02:24,375 --> 00:02:27,500
‎-可惡
‎-但原味貝果還剩很多

28
00:02:27,583 --> 00:02:29,083
‎泰勒，去吃屎吧

29
00:02:29,791 --> 00:02:31,666
‎吉爾，別逗我

30
00:02:32,750 --> 00:02:34,791
‎我起床了，嗨

31
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:38,333
‎艾咪，妳怎麼會睡在茶水間？

32
00:02:38,416 --> 00:02:39,375
‎我有陰蝨

33
00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:40,875
‎-嘿
‎-不，閃遠一點

34
00:02:40,958 --> 00:02:43,458
‎不，是我的公寓啦

35
00:02:43,541 --> 00:02:45,541
‎我沒辦法睡在公寓，到處都是

36
00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:47,000
‎什麼都有貝果

37
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:51,000
‎我沒錢請人撲滅害蟲
‎我連銀行帳戶都沒有

38
00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:54,708
‎妳怎麼會有什麼都有貝果？

39
00:02:54,791 --> 00:02:56,875
‎這個？他們送貝果來時我在這裡

40
00:02:56,958 --> 00:02:59,791
‎如果你們有認識
‎收費低廉的撲滅害蟲的人，就跟我說

41
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,166
‎老喬跟我能搞定

42
00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:02,333
‎-你們能？
‎-我們能？

43
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:04,958
‎艾咪，撲滅害蟲那些人都是幌子

44
00:03:05,041 --> 00:03:07,708
‎-只要有設備，白痴都會
‎-吉爾，你在幹嘛？

45
00:03:07,791 --> 00:03:11,083
‎-老喬，附和我就是了
‎-好吧

46
00:03:11,166 --> 00:03:15,250
‎雪倫的哥哥撲滅害蟲
‎但那個傢伙是個笨蛋

47
00:03:15,333 --> 00:03:18,291
‎我相信如果我跟他
‎借工具用幾個小時，他也不會注意到

48
00:03:18,375 --> 00:03:20,750
‎你們真的會這樣幫我？免費？

49
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,208
‎基本上是

50
00:03:22,291 --> 00:03:27,083
‎我們搞定妳的陰蝨問題
‎交換那個什麼都有貝果

51
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,583
‎好，沒問題

52
00:03:29,666 --> 00:03:33,125
‎除掉陰蝨，貝果就是你們的

53
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:37,708
‎艾咪，妳的公寓很快就沒陰蝨了

54
00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:41,916
‎光是說艾咪的陰蝨
‎就讓我好想吃那個貝果

55
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,750
‎保羅克朗姆霍恩
‎他這一年很不好過，是吧？

56
00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:49,291
‎他結縭將近40年的妻子艾芙琳不在了

57
00:03:50,208 --> 00:03:52,083
‎但我們傷心過

58
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:55,208
‎我們哭過、吃了些好吃的千層麵

59
00:03:55,291 --> 00:03:59,208
‎甚至十月的每一天都穿浴袍

60
00:03:59,291 --> 00:04:01,666
‎現在該好好過日子了

61
00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:04,041
‎沒錯，遙控器給我

62
00:04:04,125 --> 00:04:07,458
‎所以保羅和我決定

63
00:04:07,541 --> 00:04:10,291
‎去我們每年都去度假的聖塔菲

64
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:14,375
‎-耶！
‎-還是夫妻一起去度假？

65
00:04:14,458 --> 00:04:16,416
‎只有保羅、大衛和凱西？

66
00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:20,541
‎可以帶艾芙琳一起去
‎但需要一把鏟子，對不對？

67
00:04:20,625 --> 00:04:23,791
‎-不要去，這樣做是大錯特錯
‎-不，才不是

68
00:04:23,875 --> 00:04:27,208
‎旅途的每件事都會讓他
‎想起過世的太太，還有她怎麼死的

69
00:04:27,291 --> 00:04:31,833
‎也許保羅難過是他活該
‎因為他比她太太活得久

70
00:04:31,916 --> 00:04:36,541
‎不，他會很開心
‎他會歡慶他有多愛艾芙琳

71
00:04:36,625 --> 00:04:38,583
‎看看她

72
00:04:38,666 --> 00:04:42,416
‎她的秀髮、她響亮的笑聲

73
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:46,250
‎她對跟狗狗嘴對嘴親親的痴迷

74
00:04:46,333 --> 00:04:47,625
‎沃特，你沒事吧？

75
00:04:47,708 --> 00:04:49,416
‎對，保羅也是

76
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:53,000
‎他要去度假
‎我已經幫他選好該穿什麼衣服

77
00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:55,125
‎我想我可以買條波洛領帶

78
00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:57,791
‎還要帶防曬乳，這樣才不會得皮膚癌

79
00:04:57,875 --> 00:04:59,166
‎你們都知道我在說誰

80
00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:02,625
‎不！你們兩個爛人根本沒受邀

81
00:05:03,125 --> 00:05:06,500
‎不要愧疚，不要焦慮，只要愛

82
00:05:06,583 --> 00:05:10,041
‎這趟亡妻之旅會很好玩，該死

83
00:05:11,541 --> 00:05:12,958
‎他把遙控器拿走了

84
00:05:13,041 --> 00:05:16,541
‎你今天休想吃掉我的錢
‎你這台貪心的爛汽水販賣機

85
00:05:16,625 --> 00:05:18,041
‎我現在就要喝汽水

86
00:05:18,125 --> 00:05:19,291
‎沒錯

87
00:05:20,375 --> 00:05:24,250
‎老天，蘿榭兒變成仇恨蟲的樣子更美

88
00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:26,416
‎好，來吧

89
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:31,000
‎又來了？你怎麼還不死？

90
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,333
‎嘿，彼特，你好啊？

91
00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,458
‎我知道你們在想什麼

92
00:05:59,541 --> 00:06:03,791
‎“貝卡還年輕
‎退休福利的投資不是該大膽些？”

93
00:06:03,875 --> 00:06:05,708
‎-搞…
‎-天啊！

94
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,708
‎-對，她有…
‎-搞什麼啊？

95
00:06:08,791 --> 00:06:12,541
‎時間撐過股市的波動

96
00:06:12,625 --> 00:06:14,041
‎但她小寶寶才剛出生

97
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:17,791
‎她更需要保守再平衡的…

98
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,125
‎-老天！
‎-投資組合

99
00:06:21,791 --> 00:06:23,041
‎會議結束？

100
00:06:23,125 --> 00:06:27,833
‎謝了，渾蛋，你把雞雞膏
‎濺在我他媽的最喜歡的水瓶上面

101
00:06:27,916 --> 00:06:31,833
‎嘿，彼特，要不要談談是怎麼回事？

102
00:06:31,916 --> 00:06:35,666
‎是因為我被但丁的殭屍雞雞跟蹤

103
00:06:35,750 --> 00:06:39,083
‎我連“嗨，蘿榭兒
‎星期一很煩吧？”都還沒說完

104
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,666
‎那玩意就想幹掉我

105
00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:44,583
‎好，我們都有過
‎被屌糾纏不放的經驗，但在辦公室？

106
00:06:44,666 --> 00:06:47,708
‎太不專業了，搞得大家不舒服

107
00:06:48,291 --> 00:06:52,041
‎對不起這件鳥事搞得大家不舒服

108
00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:55,708
‎但那根邪惡的屌就是死不了

109
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:58,375
‎對，我看到它抖兩下就活起來了

110
00:06:58,458 --> 00:06:59,458
‎我該怎麼辦？

111
00:06:59,541 --> 00:07:01,750
‎看來你需要的是

112
00:07:01,833 --> 00:07:03,375
‎馴屌師

113
00:07:03,458 --> 00:07:06,291
‎太好了，馴屌師
‎妳有他的電子郵件嗎？

114
00:07:06,375 --> 00:07:09,333
‎他就在那邊的屋頂

115
00:07:13,125 --> 00:07:16,583
‎-所以我只要過去…
‎-那邊，沒錯

116
00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:20,333
‎不要再想了，快過去

117
00:07:20,416 --> 00:07:23,416
‎還有把桌上的屌血擦乾淨好嗎？

118
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:26,333
‎整個會議室聞起來像檸檬生雞肉

119
00:07:27,125 --> 00:07:30,833
‎幹嘛是我揹這個？這是你姊夫的

120
00:07:30,916 --> 00:07:35,083
‎因為老喬，我動腦
‎你動手滅蟲，好嗎？

121
00:07:35,166 --> 00:07:37,250
‎-我們一向各司其職
‎-我想是吧

122
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:41,625
‎很好，現在去送那些陰蝨上西天吧

123
00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:45,541
‎天啊，艾咪的陰蝨好大

124
00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:48,166
‎我想這個除蟲劑沒什麼用

125
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:52,375
‎老喬，用力噴就是了，好嗎？要有種

126
00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:54,708
‎好，大夥兒，拍謝啦

127
00:07:54,791 --> 00:07:57,125
‎該是你們安息的時候

128
00:07:57,750 --> 00:08:01,583
‎-哦，噴槍壞了，你有試用過嗎？
‎-沒有壞，按下去就是了

129
00:08:02,291 --> 00:08:05,375
‎我們當然有先把氣打出來
‎老喬，你有先把氣打出來吧？

130
00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:08,000
‎哇，好哦，示範一下

131
00:08:08,083 --> 00:08:09,625
‎不，老喬，不要

132
00:08:11,416 --> 00:08:15,291
‎-天啊，直接噴進我嘴巴
‎-我也是，牙齦味道變好怪哦

133
00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:17,875
‎不，等等！老喬，都是你啦

134
00:08:17,958 --> 00:08:20,375
‎好，我想也許我們應付不了

135
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:23,250
‎錯，我們只要調整策略

136
00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:27,250
‎但算你運氣好，我這個腦袋有辦法了

137
00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:29,250
‎-有危險嗎？
‎-對我沒有

138
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:33,208
‎但想想這件事搞定後
‎你就能吃到那個貝果下面那一半

139
00:08:33,291 --> 00:08:37,083
‎但什麼都有貝果
‎下面那一半就是原味貝果

140
00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,958
‎不，上下兩半是一樣的

141
00:08:39,041 --> 00:08:42,416
‎誰在乎拿到哪一半？
‎說真的，我還忌妒你拿到下面那一半

142
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,500
‎-要交換嗎？
‎-不要

143
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,833
‎這頂帽子好大，感覺很可笑

144
00:08:50,916 --> 00:08:53,333
‎保羅？那頂帽子是艾芙琳買給你的

145
00:08:53,416 --> 00:08:56,958
‎她說你看起來就像
‎《城市鄉巴佬》的丹尼爾斯恩特

146
00:08:57,041 --> 00:08:58,750
‎我從來沒看過那部片

147
00:08:58,833 --> 00:09:01,875
‎看看我，笨死了，我訂了中間的座位

148
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,583
‎保羅，你幹嘛這樣？

149
00:09:04,666 --> 00:09:06,458
‎只是習慣

150
00:09:06,541 --> 00:09:09,333
‎艾芙琳都坐走道座位，因為她愛喝水

151
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:13,208
‎對，而且她的膀胱容量好小

152
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:15,750
‎保羅，這趟旅行實在不是好主意

153
00:09:15,833 --> 00:09:18,416
‎-你還沒準備好一個人旅行
‎-天啊

154
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:21,333
‎如果你在機場想大便
‎誰要替你看行李？

155
00:09:21,416 --> 00:09:24,750
‎我就只能把行李
‎帶進到處都是大便分子的洗手間

156
00:09:24,833 --> 00:09:27,166
‎不，你會玩得很開心

157
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:29,291
‎沒錯，保羅

158
00:09:29,375 --> 00:09:31,500
‎活著就很開心，不是嗎？

159
00:09:31,583 --> 00:09:35,708
‎我本來要問甜美的艾芙琳
‎但是電話直接轉進語音信箱

160
00:09:35,791 --> 00:09:37,833
‎-該死，愧感巫師
‎-因為她死了

161
00:09:37,916 --> 00:09:40,833
‎天啊，我幹嘛去度假？

162
00:09:40,916 --> 00:09:43,166
‎我要你們這些渾蛋別跟來

163
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:47,833
‎不，蚊子和巫師說得對
‎我辦不到，真的很抱歉

164
00:09:47,916 --> 00:09:50,000
‎保羅，看著我，你在幹嘛？

165
00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:52,875
‎不，這趟旅行不是好主意，我不該去

166
00:09:52,958 --> 00:09:55,125
‎-家裡有好多事要做
‎-保羅，坐下

167
00:09:55,208 --> 00:09:58,416
‎要是地下室又淹水了呢？
‎或是有隻貓頭鷹跑進我閣樓？

168
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:01,291
‎甜心，不會有事

169
00:10:01,375 --> 00:10:04,375
‎只要記得我們為什麼要去度假

170
00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:06,875
‎看看她，她喜歡西南部

171
00:10:06,958 --> 00:10:09,250
‎對，你說得對

172
00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:12,750
‎艾芙琳會希望我一個人去，對吧？

173
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:14,750
‎她一定會

174
00:10:14,833 --> 00:10:16,875
‎我想她會希望

175
00:10:16,958 --> 00:10:19,833
‎她的皮膚科醫生醫術好一點

176
00:10:19,916 --> 00:10:22,125
‎但我們沒辦法問她，對不對？

177
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:25,083
‎哈囉？

178
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,666
‎馴屌師？

179
00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:29,833
‎我來請教你怎麼殺死一根屌

180
00:10:29,916 --> 00:10:33,875
‎彼特，冷靜點，不要提殺屌

181
00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:36,291
‎小莫？你就是馴屌師？

182
00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:40,125
‎-為什麼康妮不直接跟我說是你？
‎-我不應該在上面養屌

183
00:10:40,208 --> 00:10:44,541
‎大夥兒，冷靜，沒關係
‎他是我們的客人，你們不會怎麼樣

184
00:10:44,625 --> 00:10:45,958
‎我需要你幫忙

185
00:10:46,041 --> 00:10:49,875
‎-但丁那根被割下來的雞雞…
‎-謝謝你小聲說

186
00:10:49,958 --> 00:10:51,666
‎老是起死回生

187
00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:53,875
‎康妮跟我說你能幫我徹底幹掉它

188
00:10:53,958 --> 00:10:55,083
‎-幹掉它？
‎-對

189
00:10:55,166 --> 00:10:59,041
‎你有什麼訣竅？火？冰塊？
‎還是把一顆小手榴彈塞進尿孔？

190
00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:00,791
‎彼特，我有壞消息要告訴你

191
00:11:00,875 --> 00:11:02,541
‎你無法殺死殭屍雞雞

192
00:11:02,625 --> 00:11:05,250
‎你要馴服它，跟它建立感情

193
00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:06,708
‎要像父親一樣愛它

194
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:09,250
‎我才不要像父親一樣愛它

195
00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:12,208
‎我要把它綁在火箭上
‎讓它衝進太陽的火球裡面

196
00:11:12,291 --> 00:11:17,291
‎那樣行不通
‎這些以前都是被割下來的憤怒雞雞

197
00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:20,583
‎我找到這根小甜心時，它好狂野

198
00:11:20,666 --> 00:11:23,500
‎老是口吐白沫，還會咬我的蛋蛋

199
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:26,333
‎-但它現在似乎很愛你
‎-現在是

200
00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:30,000
‎因為我對它敞開心靈
‎跟它告白內心最深層的秘密

201
00:11:30,083 --> 00:11:32,666
‎來，觀察我表現脆弱的一面

202
00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:34,625
‎我親愛的朋友，我要告白

203
00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:37,958
‎康妮認為
‎我們都跟別人亂搞，但我沒有

204
00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:40,375
‎我的身體是她的，只屬於她一個人

205
00:11:41,208 --> 00:11:42,875
‎彼特，你準備好要這樣做了嗎？

206
00:11:42,958 --> 00:11:45,666
‎敞開你的心靈，親吻但丁的雞雞頭？

207
00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:49,375
‎不，我才不要跟那根殭屍雞雞告白

208
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,333
‎我說什麼也不要親它

209
00:11:53,916 --> 00:11:56,916
‎彼特，你的大好機會來了
‎說出你的真心話，噘起嘴唇

210
00:11:57,416 --> 00:12:02,666
‎要我說真心話？
‎我沒做錯什麼，我是為了救但丁

211
00:12:02,750 --> 00:12:06,333
‎我非得把你割掉
‎雕像太重了，我抬不起來

212
00:12:09,375 --> 00:12:12,750
‎我不知道，彼特
‎如果你願意，你抬得起來

213
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,875
‎還有，我此刻好喜歡你

214
00:12:18,083 --> 00:12:19,708
‎吉爾，我不知道這樣好不好

215
00:12:19,791 --> 00:12:21,958
‎相信我，甜心，這個辦法太天才了

216
00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:24,166
‎你去臥底，跟陰蝨混，好嗎？

217
00:12:24,250 --> 00:12:27,625
‎然後時機成熟時
‎我們裡應外合把牠們一網打盡

218
00:12:27,708 --> 00:12:30,000
‎妳說的“時機成熟時”是多久

219
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,416
‎-可能是一星期，也可能幾個月
‎-幾個月？

220
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:34,791
‎記住，當那天來的時候

221
00:12:34,875 --> 00:12:38,458
‎你就能吃到
‎什麼都有貝果的下面那一半

222
00:12:38,541 --> 00:12:39,541
‎好戲上場了，寶貝

223
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:42,291
‎大家好嗎？

224
00:12:42,375 --> 00:12:44,291
‎你們在聊陰毛嗎？

225
00:12:44,375 --> 00:12:46,625
‎因為我好喜歡陰毛

226
00:12:46,708 --> 00:12:51,000
‎我喜歡吃陰毛，住在陰毛裡面

227
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:55,791
‎不！拜託不要殺我！我並不想臥底

228
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:57,583
‎我跟吉爾說這不是好主意

229
00:12:57,666 --> 00:12:59,500
‎但是他不聽我的

230
00:13:00,625 --> 00:13:02,625
‎吉爾？他是我最要好的朋友

231
00:13:04,458 --> 00:13:05,875
‎對，你說得對

232
00:13:05,958 --> 00:13:08,083
‎朋友應該互相傾聽

233
00:13:08,166 --> 00:13:10,916
‎搞成這樣只為了半個爛貝果

234
00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:15,583
‎等等，你們自己做什麼都有貝果？

235
00:13:16,208 --> 00:13:17,541
‎好，麻煩了

236
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,208
‎好好吃，很有嚼勁的是什麼？

237
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,208
‎我不喜歡乾血

238
00:13:26,291 --> 00:13:28,125
‎但是搭配陰毛皮屑…

239
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,375
‎我不知道，吃出不同的味道，我喜歡

240
00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:38,458
‎可惡，我的防曬乳瓶子破了
‎我應該用小塑膠袋裝起來才對

241
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:41,625
‎有什麼關係？這是度假

242
00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:44,500
‎凱西和大衛來了

243
00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:46,916
‎嗨，我的防曬乳瓶子破了

244
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:50,333
‎保羅，很高興見到你

245
00:13:50,416 --> 00:13:52,791
‎-這場雨下得好，對吧？
‎-對

246
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:56,625
‎沙漠下雨，我相信植物都開心死了

247
00:13:56,708 --> 00:14:01,000
‎是這樣的
‎今晚我們恐怕無法一起去騎馬了

248
00:14:01,083 --> 00:14:04,875
‎取消落日騎馬的行程？但這是傳統

249
00:14:04,958 --> 00:14:07,958
‎我們想去參觀那家新的波本蒸餾酒廠

250
00:14:08,041 --> 00:14:10,583
‎對，好，應該會很好玩

251
00:14:10,666 --> 00:14:15,833
‎保羅，寶貝，這個假期
‎你跟艾芙琳一向都從騎馬爬山開始

252
00:14:15,916 --> 00:14:18,375
‎對，但這樣的天氣…

253
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:22,375
‎保羅，那些記憶，想想艾芙琳

254
00:14:22,875 --> 00:14:24,541
‎來吧，慢郎中

255
00:14:25,791 --> 00:14:30,791
‎嘿，我想我們還是去騎馬吧

256
00:14:30,875 --> 00:14:34,708
‎-我不想去騎馬
‎-我們一定要去，他太太死了

257
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:37,166
‎好，沒問題，保羅

258
00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:42,708
‎好，我要去用iPad拍房間的照片

259
00:14:42,791 --> 00:14:47,625
‎然後我要用這裡的毛巾
‎做我在家裡不會做的事

260
00:14:54,958 --> 00:14:56,791
‎真的沒有意義

261
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,041
‎看吧？抬不起來

262
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:11,500
‎好，先做幾個伸展動作

263
00:15:22,541 --> 00:15:23,833
‎哦，可惡

264
00:15:23,916 --> 00:15:26,750
‎難怪那根殭屍雞雞想幹掉我

265
00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:28,416
‎我本來能救它

266
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,750
‎連落日都看不到

267
00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:33,500
‎大衛，這件事對他很重要

268
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:36,416
‎保羅，看看你害你朋友陪著你受罪

269
00:15:37,083 --> 00:15:38,375
‎這是探險

270
00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:42,125
‎你跟艾芙琳熱愛探險，對吧？

271
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:47,208
‎對，但你知道嗎？
‎我會冷，也許我們該回頭

272
00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:49,000
‎或是躺下等死

273
00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:51,500
‎如果沒冷死，就會被狼咬死

274
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:55,625
‎蘋果先生，馬會跟狼幹架嗎？

275
00:15:56,666 --> 00:16:00,125
‎撐著點，保羅，我們快到景點了

276
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:01,916
‎記得那個景點嗎？

277
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,041
‎沃特，我沒看到景點

278
00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:06,250
‎親愛的，我給你看

279
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:07,625
‎天啊，那個閃光

280
00:16:07,708 --> 00:16:11,250
‎-讓我噁心
‎-我們會狂吐

281
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,375
‎保羅，小心前面，山路蠻泥濘的

282
00:16:17,083 --> 00:16:19,208
‎可惡，糟了！

283
00:16:19,833 --> 00:16:22,125
‎保羅！天啊，你沒事吧？

284
00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:24,541
‎-我沒事
‎-停下來，保羅生了意外

285
00:16:25,125 --> 00:16:26,125
‎只是泥巴

286
00:16:26,625 --> 00:16:28,833
‎還有我一屁股坐在仙人掌上面

287
00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:30,541
‎幾株仙人掌

288
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:32,958
‎我想應該說仙人株才對

289
00:16:33,041 --> 00:16:36,666
‎只有一件事讓這趟亡妻之旅更有意思

290
00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:39,083
‎就是知道這片土地是我們政府偷來的

291
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:43,458
‎天啊，可惡，希望他的頭還在

292
00:16:43,541 --> 00:16:45,958
‎嘿，你出現了，老天，我還在擔心呢

293
00:16:46,041 --> 00:16:50,666
‎真的？擔心我做不到
‎然後你就沒貝果吃了？

294
00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:52,833
‎你在說什麼？這是為了我們

295
00:16:52,916 --> 00:16:55,458
‎-對，好
‎-好，進行得怎麼樣？

296
00:16:55,541 --> 00:16:57,583
‎你有製造不和諧？害牠們起內鬨？

297
00:16:57,666 --> 00:16:59,583
‎告訴我你至少害牠們起內鬨

298
00:16:59,666 --> 00:17:01,458
‎-對，牠們分裂了
‎-繼續說

299
00:17:01,541 --> 00:17:05,250
‎好，一半的陰蝨認為
‎客廳需要一塊小地毯

300
00:17:05,333 --> 00:17:06,166
‎好

301
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:09,708
‎我們剩下的認為用張椅子就可以

302
00:17:09,791 --> 00:17:11,875
‎-“我們”？
‎-也許用陰毛做的爸爸椅

303
00:17:11,958 --> 00:17:13,208
‎你在說什麼？

304
00:17:13,291 --> 00:17:17,875
‎我們真的覺得
‎一張單人沙發可以…該怎麼說…

305
00:17:18,875 --> 00:17:20,625
‎老喬，醒醒！你不是陰蝨

306
00:17:20,708 --> 00:17:22,958
‎你應該臥底幹掉牠們才對

307
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:26,125
‎-牠們是我們的敵人
‎-當然，但我認識牠們，然後…

308
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:29,208
‎那群“敵人”就給我一個貝果

309
00:17:29,291 --> 00:17:32,791
‎而且是好的那一半
‎上面有乾血還有陰毛皮屑

310
00:17:32,875 --> 00:17:36,125
‎對，牠們聽我說話，不像你

311
00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:38,666
‎-好
‎-你該傾聽你的朋友

312
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,916
‎-我正在聽，好嗎？
‎-真的

313
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,083
‎對，當然

314
00:17:43,166 --> 00:17:45,041
‎我們的交情

315
00:17:45,125 --> 00:17:47,625
‎比一個蠢貝果更重要

316
00:17:47,708 --> 00:17:50,125
‎-兄弟，謝謝
‎-你這個傢伙，過來抱抱

317
00:17:50,791 --> 00:17:52,833
‎這件事真有意思

318
00:17:52,916 --> 00:17:55,583
‎我想我得交幾個害蟲朋友

319
00:17:55,666 --> 00:17:58,291
‎才能學會
‎我對我最要好朋友有什麼需要

320
00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:14,208
‎好

321
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,250
‎殭屍雞雞，來幹掉我吧

322
00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:30,041
‎你跟我該好好談談

323
00:18:31,125 --> 00:18:32,541
‎好，你還好吧？

324
00:18:32,625 --> 00:18:35,625
‎只是自我有點受傷，還有屁股會痛

325
00:18:36,208 --> 00:18:38,500
‎我猜我這個牛仔
‎並不如自己想的那麼厲害

326
00:18:38,583 --> 00:18:42,541
‎保羅，你還會調
‎你拿手的冰瑪格麗特雞尾酒嗎？

327
00:18:42,625 --> 00:18:44,750
‎我喝龍舌蘭會頭痛

328
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:47,083
‎不，艾芙琳才是調瑪格麗特的高手

329
00:18:47,916 --> 00:18:49,625
‎-我應該知道，對不起
‎-對

330
00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:52,625
‎記得當你們開始同居時？

331
00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:55,208
‎她第一個拆封的就是那台果汁機

332
00:18:55,291 --> 00:18:58,958
‎好，保羅
‎現在你退休了，有什麼規劃？

333
00:18:59,041 --> 00:19:01,666
‎規劃，我…會規劃？

334
00:19:01,750 --> 00:19:04,208
‎對，你現在時間很多

335
00:19:04,291 --> 00:19:07,083
‎對，我是

336
00:19:07,166 --> 00:19:08,791
‎好，那接下來要做什麼？

337
00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:10,916
‎對，我不知道

338
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,625
‎沃特？接下來要做什麼？

339
00:19:12,708 --> 00:19:13,958
‎看看她

340
00:19:14,041 --> 00:19:17,541
‎-她是最可愛的孕婦
‎-沃特？

341
00:19:17,625 --> 00:19:21,250
‎買房子、生小孩、拿到法律系學位

342
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:23,500
‎沃特！你有沒有聽到我說什麼？

343
00:19:23,583 --> 00:19:26,208
‎什麼？對不起，我在回想過去

344
00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:30,416
‎你老是在回想過去
‎別再想過去了，現在呢？

345
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:34,416
‎打擾了，大家的餐點怎麼樣？
‎你喜歡綠辣椒墨西哥捲餅嗎？

346
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:37,625
‎-我根本不知道
‎-好

347
00:19:37,708 --> 00:19:39,791
‎我點這道菜是因為我一向都點這道菜

348
00:19:39,875 --> 00:19:43,333
‎我咬兩下、吞下去
‎卻不知道自己喜不喜歡

349
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,416
‎甜心，這只是道主菜

350
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,791
‎我不知道自己是否喜歡這一切

351
00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:49,583
‎我要出去透透氣

352
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:51,583
‎-保羅！
‎-他太太才過世

353
00:19:51,666 --> 00:19:53,500
‎我的牛排很好吃，謝謝妳

354
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,291
‎艾咪，我們有好消息

355
00:19:59,375 --> 00:20:00,791
‎謝天謝地

356
00:20:00,875 --> 00:20:03,416
‎關於我們的友誼，我們學到很多

357
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:06,750
‎對，而且我一直
‎都沒有好好聽老喬想說什麼

358
00:20:06,833 --> 00:20:09,583
‎-那陰蝨呢？
‎-牠們可是幫了大忙

359
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:12,500
‎不是啦！是我什麼才能回我的公寓？

360
00:20:12,583 --> 00:20:14,000
‎牠們不會離開

361
00:20:14,083 --> 00:20:15,083
‎不會離開！

362
00:20:15,166 --> 00:20:18,541
‎其實我發現
‎牠們比妳早住進那棟公寓

363
00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:21,166
‎所以妳搬進去有點失禮

364
00:20:21,250 --> 00:20:23,750
‎但牠們願意盡力

365
00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:26,166
‎盡快幫妳把妳的東西搬走

366
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:28,416
‎去死，我得另外找地方？

367
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:29,958
‎艾咪，別傷腦筋

368
00:20:30,041 --> 00:20:34,291
‎老喬和我的交情更好了
‎妳可以搬家，搬家超好玩

369
00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:36,250
‎親愛的，大家都是贏家

370
00:20:36,333 --> 00:20:38,625
‎對，除了吉爾的姊夫之外

371
00:20:38,708 --> 00:20:40,750
‎因為他的設備壞了

372
00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:43,333
‎搞什麼？我幹嘛聽你們的？

373
00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:45,291
‎我該花錢請人來滅蟲才對

374
00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:47,833
‎現在妳學會教訓了

375
00:20:47,916 --> 00:20:51,916
‎坦白說，靠一個貝果
‎就能長新知，很划得來吧？

376
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,458
‎什麼？不，去你們兩個笨蛋

377
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:01,791
‎-賤人！
‎-妳以為那樣就能阻止我？

378
00:21:01,875 --> 00:21:03,583
‎我吃了一整天的陰毛

379
00:21:03,666 --> 00:21:06,125
‎對，反而讓我更想吃

380
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:13,541
‎好，小莫說我要跟你坦白，好吧

381
00:21:15,416 --> 00:21:18,833
‎內心深處，我想割掉你

382
00:21:18,916 --> 00:21:22,458
‎因為我愛蘿榭兒

383
00:21:22,541 --> 00:21:25,125
‎但丁配不上她

384
00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:28,541
‎我並非一向是好人

385
00:21:28,625 --> 00:21:32,541
‎我高興死了
‎因為我毀了他的人生和他的感情

386
00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:35,375
‎如果有必要，我會毫不考慮再次動手

387
00:21:37,333 --> 00:21:41,583
‎所以如果你要撕爛我的喉嚨，來吧

388
00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:48,458
‎天啊，有用耶，它在舔我

389
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:50,000
‎彼特，我以你為榮

390
00:21:50,083 --> 00:21:52,416
‎-小莫，就這樣？
‎-快了

391
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:54,541
‎你還要做一件事

392
00:21:54,625 --> 00:21:56,000
‎哦，好

393
00:21:57,708 --> 00:21:59,375
‎哦，你親它

394
00:21:59,458 --> 00:22:01,791
‎我是說
‎你要給它取個名字，但親親也行

395
00:22:03,375 --> 00:22:05,583
‎保羅，親愛的，怎麼回事？

396
00:22:05,666 --> 00:22:08,666
‎-我討厭聖塔菲
‎-什麼？

397
00:22:08,750 --> 00:22:12,750
‎我甚至不確定我喜歡凱西和大衛

398
00:22:12,833 --> 00:22:15,833
‎別說傻話，他們是你最要好的朋友

399
00:22:15,916 --> 00:22:18,625
‎不，他們是艾芙琳最要好的朋友

400
00:22:18,708 --> 00:22:20,625
‎我跟他們毫無共通點

401
00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:23,291
‎-你有聖塔菲
‎-你還不懂嗎？

402
00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:26,583
‎我喜歡跟艾芙琳到這裡

403
00:22:26,666 --> 00:22:28,791
‎但是沒有她到這裡？

404
00:22:28,875 --> 00:22:29,916
‎好悲慘

405
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,750
‎但是她跟你在這裡啊，你看

406
00:22:32,833 --> 00:22:34,750
‎不，嘿，夠了

407
00:22:35,416 --> 00:22:36,916
‎你剛打我？

408
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,833
‎對，對不起，但你讓我覺得糟糕透了

409
00:22:40,916 --> 00:22:45,791
‎什麼？我是你的愛蟲，我希望你快樂

410
00:22:45,875 --> 00:22:49,250
‎但你只會給我看我死去太太的記憶

411
00:22:49,333 --> 00:22:53,458
‎我只是不希望
‎你忘了艾芙琳，因為我愛你，保羅

412
00:22:53,541 --> 00:22:57,875
‎是嗎？還是你愛的是我娶了艾芙琳？

413
00:22:57,958 --> 00:23:01,791
‎沃特，告訴我你愛我哪一點？

414
00:23:01,875 --> 00:23:03,958
‎-當然
‎-關於保羅

415
00:23:04,041 --> 00:23:05,333
‎我愛你…

416
00:23:06,666 --> 00:23:08,708
‎我放給你看，我累積了幾十年的記憶

417
00:23:09,375 --> 00:23:13,500
‎好，那是艾芙琳，更多艾芙琳，天啊

418
00:23:13,583 --> 00:23:17,625
‎看吧，好像艾芙琳
‎才是你的客戶，而不是我

419
00:23:17,708 --> 00:23:19,333
‎我猜我只是…

420
00:23:19,416 --> 00:23:21,500
‎我愛你那麼愛她

421
00:23:21,583 --> 00:23:25,000
‎我30年來都這樣

422
00:23:25,583 --> 00:23:27,375
‎現在她…

423
00:23:27,458 --> 00:23:30,541
‎-不在了，她走了
‎-對

424
00:23:31,250 --> 00:23:34,083
‎-但我還在
‎-對

425
00:23:34,166 --> 00:23:36,625
‎對不起，我真的愛你

426
00:23:37,250 --> 00:23:41,041
‎只是我不太了解你

427
00:23:41,125 --> 00:23:44,250
‎我知道，我也不太了解我自己

428
00:23:44,333 --> 00:23:49,250
‎但現在就我一個人
‎我猜我得搞清楚我是誰

429
00:23:49,333 --> 00:23:51,791
‎嘿，你不是一個人

430
00:23:52,708 --> 00:23:53,875
‎你有我

431
00:23:53,958 --> 00:23:55,333
‎沃特，謝了

432
00:23:55,416 --> 00:23:58,041
‎我們要一起解開保羅這個謎

433
00:23:58,125 --> 00:24:01,083
‎對，誰是保羅？

434
00:24:01,166 --> 00:24:02,583
‎希望你會喜歡你發現的保羅

435
00:24:02,666 --> 00:24:04,833
‎因為當你真正花時間了解自己

436
00:24:04,916 --> 00:24:06,875
‎說不定你會討厭自己

437
00:24:06,958 --> 00:24:09,500
‎-敲敲門，是誰？
‎-新的保羅，他好爛

438
00:24:09,583 --> 00:24:13,166
‎關於沙漠
‎艾芙琳最喜歡什麼？就是沒有蚊子

439
00:24:13,250 --> 00:24:14,625
‎幹得好，保羅

440
00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:21,583
‎今天別想，你這台爛自動販賣機

441
00:24:22,250 --> 00:24:24,375
‎好，彼特，你可以

442
00:24:24,958 --> 00:24:27,250
‎“嘿，蘿榭兒星期一很煩，對吧？”

443
00:24:28,166 --> 00:24:29,083
‎太好了

444
00:24:30,416 --> 00:24:32,291
‎-嘿，蘿榭兒
‎-嘿，彼特

445
00:24:32,958 --> 00:24:36,083
‎星期一很煩，對吧？我討厭星期一

446
00:24:36,750 --> 00:24:37,875
‎對，我也是

447
00:24:39,333 --> 00:24:41,041
‎回頭見了

448
00:24:43,125 --> 00:24:46,916
‎-妳知道嗎？其實我喜歡星期一
‎-好

449
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,958
‎繼續坦白下去

450
00:24:49,041 --> 00:24:51,625
‎我不後悔割下但丁的屌

451
00:24:51,708 --> 00:24:53,625
‎但丁是壞蛋，他只是…

452
00:24:53,708 --> 00:24:55,958
‎彼特，不要說但丁，好嗎？

453
00:24:56,041 --> 00:24:57,875
‎-我不想聽到他的名字
‎-好

454
00:24:57,958 --> 00:25:01,000
‎但我只想說妳應該有更好的對象

455
00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:04,000
‎妳應該有個知道妳有多好的男人

456
00:25:04,083 --> 00:25:05,458
‎-一個可以…
‎-聽著，彼特

457
00:25:05,541 --> 00:25:07,750
‎我知道你想毫無隱瞞說出自己的感覺

458
00:25:07,833 --> 00:25:09,333
‎但我這個星期好忙

459
00:25:09,416 --> 00:25:13,583
‎我現在
‎什麼都不想談、不要想、不要感覺

460
00:25:13,666 --> 00:25:15,708
‎所以你要不搞我，要不滾蛋

461
00:25:16,375 --> 00:25:17,750
‎對不起，妳剛說什麼？

462
00:25:17,833 --> 00:25:22,333
‎我說你要不搞我，要不滾蛋

463
00:25:23,250 --> 00:25:28,250
‎好，如果妳只給我
‎兩個選項，那我選第一個

464
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,583
‎“搞我”，就這個答案，不改了

465
00:25:30,666 --> 00:25:31,916
‎好吧

466
00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:18,875
‎字幕翻譯：韋家瑤