1 00:00:06,208 --> 00:00:09,000 [thunderclap] 2 00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:11,083 [sinister music playing] 3 00:00:11,791 --> 00:00:14,000 Look out! Oh! Ah! [chuckles] 4 00:00:14,083 --> 00:00:18,125 Stand your ground, wuss. Stop getting cucked by the wind. 5 00:00:18,208 --> 00:00:21,458 Better to be a living cuck than a dead hero. 6 00:00:21,541 --> 00:00:23,666 [Gavin] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 7 00:00:23,750 --> 00:00:25,083 Fuck! Ow! Ow! Ow! 8 00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:28,833 Ah! The fire! The piss! The fire and the piss! 9 00:00:28,916 --> 00:00:30,958 You gonna plug that thing back in or not? 10 00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,083 -[screams] -[electricity crackling] 11 00:00:35,291 --> 00:00:38,666 And then Gavin, sniveling coward that he is, 12 00:00:38,750 --> 00:00:40,291 started to weep and beg me 13 00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:43,708 to "pwease, pwease, pwease plug the thing back in." 14 00:00:43,791 --> 00:00:47,916 And I said, "Of course, I will. I am the bravest of wizards." 15 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:52,416 And he replied, "Not me. I just wee-weed my big-boy pants." 16 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:53,666 [laughter] 17 00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:56,125 Yeah, Gavin died a coward's death. I called it. 18 00:00:56,208 --> 00:01:00,375 Those were, of course, the last words Gavin ever spoke. 19 00:01:00,458 --> 00:01:03,666 He then slipped in a puddle of his own sissy water 20 00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:07,500 and skidded off the roof to his unflattering demise, 21 00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:11,125 leaving only me to tell his pathetic tale. 22 00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:14,333 God rest his chickenshit soul. [spits] 23 00:01:14,416 --> 00:01:15,250 [all spit] 24 00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:18,833 But of course, I sallied on, plugged in the thingy, 25 00:01:18,916 --> 00:01:20,625 and saved the entire office. 26 00:01:20,708 --> 00:01:23,125 -[cheering] -Okay, we don't have all day. 27 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:26,208 Here's your certificate for "Employee of the Month." 28 00:01:26,291 --> 00:01:29,625 Show this at the cafeteria and you get a free yogurt. 29 00:01:29,708 --> 00:01:30,750 -Not Greek. -Woo! 30 00:01:30,833 --> 00:01:31,958 -All right! -Oh, bittersweet. 31 00:01:32,041 --> 00:01:34,583 This will be in my office if you want a closer look. 32 00:01:34,666 --> 00:01:37,583 You're my hero. Will you sign my butthole, Mr. Hero? 33 00:01:37,666 --> 00:01:39,916 Ahh, with pleasure, young fellow. 34 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,125 I love how every time you tell the story 35 00:01:42,208 --> 00:01:45,000 there are new details that make you more fuckable. 36 00:01:45,083 --> 00:01:47,083 [male voice] Yeah. That is something, isn't it? 37 00:01:47,166 --> 00:01:48,583 -Who said that? -I did. 38 00:01:48,666 --> 00:01:49,958 -[all gasp] -Gavin? 39 00:01:50,041 --> 00:01:51,875 You're… alive. 40 00:01:51,958 --> 00:01:56,833 Actually, I'm Guyvin. Gavin's identical but suspiciously nice twin brother. 41 00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:58,125 -Oh! -Oh, of course. 42 00:01:58,208 --> 00:01:59,541 Gavin had a twin brother. 43 00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:01,666 -Okay. That makes sense. -No, it doesn't. 44 00:02:01,750 --> 00:02:05,083 Sometimes characters have twins and that's just good storytelling. 45 00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:07,916 -That checks out. -Right, my identical-twin sister, Bonnie? 46 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:12,166 Yeah, Connie, but we're not identical because I have a different haircut. 47 00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:14,791 -And glasses. Bye, Bonnie. -Bye, Connie. 48 00:02:14,875 --> 00:02:17,708 -Hey, Wizard. -Oh, no! Please don't hurt me, Gavin. 49 00:02:17,791 --> 00:02:20,500 Well, first of all, buddy, my name is Guyvin. 50 00:02:20,583 --> 00:02:23,250 And second, I don't wanna hurt you, I wanna thank you 51 00:02:23,333 --> 00:02:25,458 and give you a gentle hug. 52 00:02:25,541 --> 00:02:26,750 -[grunts] -Thank me? For what? 53 00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:29,416 For being with my brother in the last moments of his life. 54 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:32,166 As his identical twin, I could feel all of his pain. 55 00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:33,958 -Oh… -But I don't know none of the details. 56 00:02:34,041 --> 00:02:35,583 Because they keep changing. [grunts] 57 00:02:35,666 --> 00:02:37,208 That's why I wanna take you to coffee. 58 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:41,000 So you can walk me through his last moments, gimme a little closure. 59 00:02:41,083 --> 00:02:42,125 -"Closure"? -Yeah. 60 00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:46,250 No distractions. Just you and me, and some nighttime coffee. 61 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:49,125 Yeah, well, the caffeine may ruin my slumber, 62 00:02:49,208 --> 00:02:52,125 but how could I say no to you, uh, Guyvin? 63 00:02:52,208 --> 00:02:56,291 Oh, and his name is Guyvin because it sounds like Gavin, but he's a guy. 64 00:02:56,375 --> 00:02:58,125 You know, that must be why my brother's name 65 00:02:58,208 --> 00:03:00,083 is "Joe But With A Regular Penis." 66 00:03:00,166 --> 00:03:02,625 Oh, yeah, and how is Joe But With A Regular Penis? 67 00:03:02,708 --> 00:03:04,541 You know, he's very sick, actually. 68 00:03:04,625 --> 00:03:06,541 ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪ 69 00:03:06,625 --> 00:03:08,958 ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪ 70 00:03:09,041 --> 00:03:12,375 -♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪ -♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪ 71 00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:15,125 ♪ A-ha So real, so good, so fuckin' real ♪ 72 00:03:15,208 --> 00:03:17,291 -♪ So real, so good, so fuckin' real ♪ -♪ A-ha ♪ 73 00:03:17,375 --> 00:03:19,125 ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪ 74 00:03:19,208 --> 00:03:21,333 ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪ 75 00:03:21,416 --> 00:03:26,458 ♪ It's like I'm powerful With a little bit of tender ♪ 76 00:03:26,541 --> 00:03:30,625 ♪ An emotional, sexual bender ♪ 77 00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:35,000 ♪ Mess me up, yeah But no one does it better ♪ 78 00:03:35,083 --> 00:03:36,916 ♪ There's nothing better ♪ 79 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,333 ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪ 80 00:03:40,333 --> 00:03:41,541 [Emmy hums] 81 00:03:41,625 --> 00:03:42,666 Mmm! 82 00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:43,916 Office chicken. 83 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:48,458 So, um, Emmy, uh, as someone who I am slowly growing to respect-- 84 00:03:48,541 --> 00:03:51,041 What? Pete respects moi-ha-ha? 85 00:03:51,125 --> 00:03:55,875 I was just wondering if I could ask you for some, uh, professional love advice? 86 00:03:55,958 --> 00:03:59,083 Oh, and now he needs Daddy's help. 87 00:03:59,166 --> 00:04:01,166 -Immediately regret this. -No, no, no, no, no! 88 00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:03,250 Don't go. Uh, let me guess. 89 00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:05,708 Now that Dante and Rochelle are done-zo, 90 00:04:05,791 --> 00:04:10,500 you wanna know how long you should wait before you make your big move. 91 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:11,666 Actually, yes. 92 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:14,166 I, uh, stayed up all night coding parametric models 93 00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:16,583 -to pinpoint the optimal time to tell her. -Okaaay… 94 00:04:16,666 --> 00:04:20,625 Each timeframe uses what I'm calling "confession points" or "CPs." 95 00:04:20,708 --> 00:04:21,875 -Um…? -As you can see here, 96 00:04:21,958 --> 00:04:24,416 if I go with a three-month CP, I'm being respectful, 97 00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,500 but risk her moving on and finding happiness. 98 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:32,083 Hey, if you wanna "C" some "P," you gotta ask her out today, hombre. 99 00:04:32,166 --> 00:04:35,000 What? [stammers] No. The trend line on a 24-hour CP is-- 100 00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:39,375 Okay, listen, Old Sheldon, this Big Bang energy ain't helping you. 101 00:04:39,458 --> 00:04:42,125 I have this friend. I'm not gonna name any names-- 102 00:04:42,208 --> 00:04:45,541 [sighs] Is it Van? That Logic Rock you won't stop talking about? 103 00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:49,166 It is. And Van just went for it with me. 104 00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:51,541 She smooched my brains out at the Jizz Mitzvah, 105 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,291 and now I'll do anything she wants. 106 00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:56,541 She basically owns my ass. 107 00:04:56,625 --> 00:04:59,625 So, do you wanna own Rochelle's ass or not? 108 00:04:59,708 --> 00:05:01,500 Well, ideally, I would enter into 109 00:05:01,583 --> 00:05:04,208 some sort of cooperative agreement with Rochelle's ass, 110 00:05:04,291 --> 00:05:05,833 where I assume a minority stake and-- 111 00:05:05,916 --> 00:05:10,000 Oh, Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete, that's for the butt lawyers to work out. 112 00:05:10,083 --> 00:05:12,791 Daddy's gonna go talk you up to Rochelle… 113 00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:13,875 -What? -…right now. 114 00:05:13,958 --> 00:05:17,083 No! No, I'm not ready. Please, Daddy, don't! 115 00:05:17,166 --> 00:05:20,875 Look at Dante eat-pray-fucking his way through the southern hemisphere. 116 00:05:20,958 --> 00:05:24,708 It's like men get freakin' flyer miles for every chick they screw over. 117 00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:29,416 Meanwhile, all Rochelle got was a broken heart and Emmy's chlamydia. 118 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,250 Guys, come on. I'm trying to work. 119 00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:33,458 I don't wanna see Dante sucking off a llama. 120 00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:35,583 Oh! That's what he's doing. 121 00:05:35,666 --> 00:05:37,291 -You want my advice, Rochelle? -Not really. 122 00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:40,833 -He's a loser. He left. Get over it. -Petra's right. 123 00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:45,458 There are plenty of other fish right here in the office, 124 00:05:45,541 --> 00:05:48,125 just waiting to get absolutely filleted by you. 125 00:05:48,208 --> 00:05:49,041 [Pete gasps] 126 00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:51,583 Everyone stop, okay? I'm not trying to filet any fish. 127 00:05:51,666 --> 00:05:53,916 I just wanna focus on my clients right now. 128 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:57,375 But if you, the world's greatest Lovebug, can't find love, 129 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,166 what chance do your clients have? 130 00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:00,958 -No chance. -Exactly. 131 00:06:01,041 --> 00:06:04,333 Oh, my God, they have no fucking chance. 132 00:06:04,416 --> 00:06:07,541 -Whoa, Rochelle, it's okay. -No, it's not okay. 133 00:06:07,625 --> 00:06:10,250 Tito's right. Love is my whole fucking thing. 134 00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:12,875 If I suck ass at it, what good am I to anyone? Hmm? 135 00:06:12,958 --> 00:06:14,416 [female voice] Mm, mm, mm… 136 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:18,458 -Bitch, what you need is a little Hope. -Oh! 137 00:06:18,541 --> 00:06:21,666 Oh, my God, Hope! Girl, where have you been? 138 00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:23,500 Honey, where haven't I been? 139 00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:26,208 There ain't a person on that rapidly warming planet 140 00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:28,333 -that don't wanna get to know my fine ass. -[chuckles] 141 00:06:28,416 --> 00:06:31,041 But when I heard my number one was hurting, 142 00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:33,916 chile, you best believe I said, "Let 'em all die." 143 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,125 So, wait, your job is hope and your name is Hope? 144 00:06:38,208 --> 00:06:43,250 Yeah, it's my whole gestalt, baby. I bring possibility and wonder. 145 00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:45,291 And a big sparkling bag of bullshit. 146 00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:47,541 -Hello to you, too, Petra. -Ugh. 147 00:06:47,625 --> 00:06:49,833 -Please don't start, ladies. -You know somethin'? 148 00:06:49,916 --> 00:06:52,458 My clients don't hope they get a new job, 149 00:06:52,541 --> 00:06:55,291 they work their asses off and earn a new job. 150 00:06:55,375 --> 00:06:58,666 Girl, shut up. You know it's hope that makes people hustle. 151 00:06:58,750 --> 00:07:00,250 Yeah, shut up, Petra. 152 00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:01,666 What'd you fuckin' say to me? 153 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:03,000 I said I respect you so much. 154 00:07:03,083 --> 00:07:05,333 All right, Rochelle, here's how we're gonna turn 155 00:07:05,416 --> 00:07:07,583 your mopin' into some hopin'. 156 00:07:07,666 --> 00:07:10,000 -First, we're taking the day off. -Oh. 157 00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:12,875 I wish I could, but I've got this client, Alice. 158 00:07:12,958 --> 00:07:14,250 She's got a first date tonight. 159 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:17,500 Ooh! Even better. I love a first date. 160 00:07:17,583 --> 00:07:20,916 All the feels and suspense. Will they be the one? 161 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,375 Or just the one they fuck tonight? 162 00:07:23,458 --> 00:07:26,125 -First date intercourse! -First date intercourse! 163 00:07:26,208 --> 00:07:28,166 [chuckles] I love it when Hope comes to town. 164 00:07:28,250 --> 00:07:29,333 I'm coming too. 165 00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:32,583 You can't have a first date without the constant fear of it going horribly wrong. 166 00:07:32,666 --> 00:07:33,625 Girls' night! 167 00:07:33,708 --> 00:07:36,833 I don't know, Hope. I don't wanna put too much pressure on this date. 168 00:07:36,916 --> 00:07:41,291 Oh, loosen up, Rochelle. Hope is here. Anything is possible. 169 00:07:41,375 --> 00:07:42,208 [cheering] 170 00:07:42,291 --> 00:07:45,958 Okay, fine. But can we turn down the disco booby balls? 171 00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:47,208 [laughs] 172 00:07:47,291 --> 00:07:48,666 They don't have an off switch. 173 00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:50,166 What a fuckin' phony. 174 00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:52,083 Damn, Petra, you really hate Hope. 175 00:07:52,166 --> 00:07:55,041 I don't hate her. I just think she's a total flake. 176 00:07:55,125 --> 00:07:56,916 And honestly? I don't think her tits are real. 177 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,875 Well, yeah. They're disco balls. 178 00:07:58,958 --> 00:08:00,541 [playful music playing] 179 00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:01,500 [groans] 180 00:08:02,833 --> 00:08:04,791 [slurps] 181 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,375 [honking] 182 00:08:08,458 --> 00:08:09,875 ♪ Pee-pee time ♪ 183 00:08:09,958 --> 00:08:12,166 ♪ Time to go pee-pee 'Cause it's pee-pee time ♪ 184 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,208 [Guyvin whistles] 185 00:08:16,083 --> 00:08:17,708 -Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! -[gasps] 186 00:08:17,791 --> 00:08:20,125 -[dramatic music playing] -[Guyvin] Ow, ow, ow, ow! 187 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,125 Every time. 188 00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:23,166 Wow. Every time. 189 00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:24,791 [Lionel gasps] Fire-hose dick. 190 00:08:24,875 --> 00:08:27,416 -[grunts] Pete! Hide with me. -Oh! 191 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,500 Uh, what? Why? 192 00:08:28,583 --> 00:08:31,708 -I don't want Guyvin to see us. -Why? What's wrong? 193 00:08:31,791 --> 00:08:34,000 You must promise not to call me cuckoo bananas. 194 00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:35,750 That's a promise I feel comfortable making. 195 00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:38,416 I believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, 196 00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:41,166 that Guyvin is actually Gavin. 197 00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:43,750 -No, yeah, you're cuckoo bananas. -No! No, I'm not! 198 00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:46,500 I snuck in the bathroom and looked at his penis. 199 00:08:46,583 --> 00:08:48,250 This isn't helping your case. 200 00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:50,333 It's identical to Gavin's. 201 00:08:50,416 --> 00:08:51,750 Well, they're twins. 202 00:08:51,833 --> 00:08:55,083 Look, it sounds like Gavin's death was very traumatic for you, 203 00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:58,166 and there must be some part of you that wishes he was still alive. 204 00:08:58,250 --> 00:08:59,916 No, no, no, no, that's not it. 205 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,583 You probably have survivor's guilt because you couldn't save him. 206 00:09:02,666 --> 00:09:06,541 Oh, survivor's guilt. Like you with Dante? 207 00:09:06,625 --> 00:09:08,666 Well, no. I saved Dante. 208 00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:11,250 By divorcing him from his favorite cock. 209 00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:12,458 To save his life. 210 00:09:12,541 --> 00:09:14,083 Sure, by ruining it. 211 00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:16,416 So if I'm scared of Guyvin, 212 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:20,916 you must be terrified that Dante will make good on his vow of revenge. 213 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,375 Wait. Do you really think Dante is gonna get revenge on me? 214 00:09:23,458 --> 00:09:24,666 -I do. -Oh, God. 215 00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:28,375 And I'm quite sure Gavin's back from the dead to kill me. 216 00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:30,750 I'll see you in hell, Peter. 217 00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:34,916 -[gentle vocalizing] -So, Alice, tonight's the big date. 218 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,583 Tell me everything. Spill the tea. 219 00:09:37,666 --> 00:09:39,541 How did you and this dreamboat Shawn meet? 220 00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:43,208 -Well, he came to one of my talks. -Alice is a disability rights activist. 221 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:46,250 -And then he followed me on Twitter. -She has a lot of fans. 222 00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:48,166 But this one direct messaged me. 223 00:09:48,250 --> 00:09:49,416 -Ha! That's right! -Yeah! 224 00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,625 -Do you wanna see him? -[Hope] Oh my lord. 225 00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:53,625 Look at him in these coochie cutters. 226 00:09:53,708 --> 00:09:55,375 This man is a hunk of cheese. 227 00:09:55,458 --> 00:09:57,666 He is Monterey Jacked. 228 00:09:57,750 --> 00:10:00,500 You cheddar go home with him tonight. 229 00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:02,000 [laughter] 230 00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:04,333 -Hey, can you please not do that? -[chuckles] Do what? 231 00:10:04,416 --> 00:10:08,958 -Get Alice's hopes up about this guy. -Girl, put some respect on my name. 232 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:12,083 I'm just saying, men are trash no matter how few dicks they have. 233 00:10:12,166 --> 00:10:14,000 Oh, man, Rochelle's not wrong. 234 00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:18,375 Yeah, Alice and I like to have low expectations when it comes to romance. 235 00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:21,333 "Low expectations"? Why? 236 00:10:21,416 --> 00:10:24,083 Because what if this date is a total shitshow? 237 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:27,208 -Thank you. That's what I'm saying. -I hear you, TeeTee. 238 00:10:27,291 --> 00:10:30,458 But I think the real question is, what if it isn't? 239 00:10:30,541 --> 00:10:34,000 -Oh, my God. I never even considered that. -[explosion] 240 00:10:34,083 --> 00:10:37,583 In fact, I could see this date going fabulously. 241 00:10:37,666 --> 00:10:39,125 -I don't know. -Me neither. 242 00:10:39,208 --> 00:10:40,500 Well, baby, I do. 243 00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:44,041 And you best believe Hope is gon' sing about it. 244 00:10:44,125 --> 00:10:46,583 [pop music playing] 245 00:10:46,666 --> 00:10:50,708 ♪ Forever say goodbye To loneliness and heartache ♪ 246 00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,333 ♪ Well, maybe not forever ♪ 247 00:10:52,416 --> 00:10:56,208 [Hope] ♪ Tonight's gonna exceed Every expectation ♪ 248 00:10:56,291 --> 00:10:57,291 ♪ Within reason ♪ 249 00:10:57,375 --> 00:10:59,916 ♪ This is destiny, it's fate ♪ 250 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,916 ♪ Tonight will be your last first date ♪ 251 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:06,375 ♪ Or maybe just a pleasant meal And lively conversation ♪ 252 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:07,541 Oh, come on. 253 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,625 ♪ Have a little hope ♪ 254 00:11:10,208 --> 00:11:11,916 ♪ Let yourself believe ♪ 255 00:11:13,166 --> 00:11:17,625 ♪ In every wondrous fantasy You dare conceive ♪ 256 00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,958 ♪ Tonight your dream life will begin ♪ 257 00:11:21,041 --> 00:11:23,208 ♪ Or maybe not And you'll just be friends ♪ 258 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:24,125 Uh-uh! 259 00:11:24,208 --> 00:11:26,000 ♪ Tonight ♪ 260 00:11:26,083 --> 00:11:28,458 ♪ Could be tonight ♪ 261 00:11:28,541 --> 00:11:30,208 ♪ Hope's gonna set you free ♪ 262 00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:34,166 -Okay, you do make it sound pretty good. -It feels good. Give it a try. 263 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:35,833 All right, all right. 264 00:11:35,916 --> 00:11:39,500 ♪ They'll make love all through the night With primal passion? ♪ 265 00:11:39,583 --> 00:11:40,791 Yeah, that's it. 266 00:11:40,875 --> 00:11:44,458 ♪ And in the morning Sail his yacht to paradise ♪ 267 00:11:44,541 --> 00:11:46,083 Damn, a yacht? 268 00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:48,458 ♪ You'll be his goddess and his queen ♪ 269 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,125 ♪ When he gives you That big-ass diamond ring ♪ 270 00:11:51,208 --> 00:11:56,291 ♪ Yeah, side by side you'll save the world While sippin' sweet champagne on ice ♪ 271 00:11:56,375 --> 00:11:58,333 Oh, it sounds so nice. 272 00:11:59,125 --> 00:12:01,541 ♪ Have a little hope ♪ 273 00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:04,333 ♪ Let your heart run free ♪ 274 00:12:04,416 --> 00:12:08,125 ♪ Suppress the doubt Indulge the dream of what might be ♪ 275 00:12:08,208 --> 00:12:09,875 ♪ Possibility ♪ 276 00:12:09,958 --> 00:12:12,416 ♪ Forever loved Forever charmed ♪ 277 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:15,541 ♪ Till one day die in each other's arms ♪ 278 00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:16,750 Oh, yeah. 279 00:12:16,833 --> 00:12:18,916 [Rochelle] ♪ Could be tonight ♪ 280 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,375 [both] ♪ It's gonna be tonight ♪ 281 00:12:21,458 --> 00:12:26,250 ♪ Hope's gonna set you free ♪ 282 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,083 -Hey, Alice. -Hi, Shawn. 283 00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:32,791 -Shall we? -[Rochelle] Mmm! 284 00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:35,208 I wish he was wearing the shorts from the picture, 285 00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:36,541 but he's still cute as a button. 286 00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:40,833 Well, hello. Sounds like someone's feeling a little hopeful. 287 00:12:40,916 --> 00:12:43,666 Yeah, well. Don't let it go to your big ol' sparkly titties. 288 00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:45,708 [Hope squeals, laughs] 289 00:12:45,791 --> 00:12:47,625 [Pete] God, I love working late. 290 00:12:47,708 --> 00:12:51,333 No Emmy, no Lionel, just me and my productivity. 291 00:12:51,416 --> 00:12:52,666 [door creaking] 292 00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:55,250 Hello? Is somebody here? 293 00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:57,041 -[evil laugh] -Dante? 294 00:12:57,125 --> 00:12:59,333 -Is that you? -[evil laugh continues] 295 00:12:59,916 --> 00:13:01,333 -[door slams] -Uh… [chuckles] 296 00:13:01,416 --> 00:13:03,708 No, that's crazy. Dante's in Peru, right? 297 00:13:03,791 --> 00:13:04,791 -[glass shatters] -[gasps] 298 00:13:04,875 --> 00:13:06,750 -[panting] -[pulsing sound] 299 00:13:06,833 --> 00:13:09,916 Where is that throbbing noise coming from? 300 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,375 [grunting] 301 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:13,916 [gasping] 302 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,166 [door creaking] 303 00:13:16,416 --> 00:13:17,583 [gasps] 304 00:13:18,458 --> 00:13:19,708 [grunts] 305 00:13:19,791 --> 00:13:21,166 Oh, my God! 306 00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:24,458 Why did they carpet over this gorgeous wood? 307 00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:27,958 Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! 308 00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,041 No! 309 00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:30,750 No! No! No! 310 00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:32,208 I did what I had to do. 311 00:13:32,291 --> 00:13:34,958 I severed what I had to sever. [gasps] 312 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,541 [snarls] 313 00:13:38,625 --> 00:13:41,208 [yelps, gags] 314 00:13:41,291 --> 00:13:43,666 [gasps, pants] 315 00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:45,791 Thank God. It was just a nightmare. 316 00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:48,166 [gags] 317 00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:49,458 [pants] 318 00:13:49,541 --> 00:13:53,583 A used triple-dick condom with one sleeve torn off? [gasps] 319 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,208 The dream was real! [screams] 320 00:13:56,958 --> 00:13:59,583 Oh, uh… [chuckles] …by the way, I really like your sneakers. 321 00:13:59,666 --> 00:14:01,458 -Oh, thank you. -Where'd you pick 'em up? 322 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,041 Zappos. I don't leave my house for anything. 323 00:14:04,125 --> 00:14:06,708 Well, you left for me, apparently. I'm flattered. 324 00:14:06,791 --> 00:14:10,250 Ooh, look at them vibin'. That's all you, Ro-Ro. 325 00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:12,625 You were right, Hope. I needed a girls' night out. 326 00:14:12,708 --> 00:14:15,125 Me too. I feel like I'm on Sex and the City. 327 00:14:15,208 --> 00:14:17,791 Or is it Sex in the City? I can never remember. 328 00:14:17,875 --> 00:14:20,375 You know, I had sex with a city once. 329 00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:24,666 Pittsburgh gets a bad rap, but, girl, it knows how to fuck. 330 00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:26,291 -[Shawn] Ugh, goddamn it. -[Alice groans] 331 00:14:26,375 --> 00:14:28,791 I'm so sorry. I even called ahead to make sure they had a ramp. 332 00:14:28,875 --> 00:14:32,541 Oh, no! We're getting cockblocked by ADA non-compliance. 333 00:14:32,625 --> 00:14:35,125 All cock should be wheelchair accessible. 334 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:39,250 -Goddamn it. Something always goes wrong. -Can we just go home? 335 00:14:39,333 --> 00:14:40,833 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, ladies. 336 00:14:40,916 --> 00:14:44,000 Y'all are spiraling more than a staircase. Look over there. 337 00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,333 There's a lovely restaurant across the street 338 00:14:46,416 --> 00:14:48,208 with a super-cute cement ramp. 339 00:14:48,291 --> 00:14:50,375 -[Rochelle] Ooh! -That does look romantic. 340 00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:52,500 Yeah, that place looks awesome. 341 00:14:52,583 --> 00:14:54,541 Oh, but there's no TVs in there. 342 00:14:54,625 --> 00:14:56,416 Girl, you can play with my iPad, okay? 343 00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,875 Does your iPad have sports and pornos on it? 344 00:14:58,958 --> 00:15:01,541 -Yeah, it's an iPad. -All right. 345 00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:07,000 [Guyvin] I'm Guyvin, Gavin's identical but suspiciously nice twin brother. 346 00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:07,958 Oh, God. 347 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:11,041 [Guyvin] I wanna take you to coffee… Gimme a little… closure. 348 00:15:11,125 --> 00:15:12,625 He's gonna kill me. 349 00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:13,708 [screams] 350 00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:16,333 -[Guyvin] Knock, knock. -[gasps] Gavin! 351 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,791 It's Guyvin, sweetie. 352 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,958 Gavin's my beloved dead brother, remember? 353 00:15:20,041 --> 00:15:24,041 Of course, yes, yes. Is it, uh… is it coffee time already? 354 00:15:24,125 --> 00:15:28,166 Actually, I thought we could go up to the roof where he died, 355 00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:31,958 and you could show me exactly how it happened. 356 00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:34,708 -Up on the roof? -Just you and me. 357 00:15:34,791 --> 00:15:36,458 Yes, no witnesses. 358 00:15:36,541 --> 00:15:39,583 Well, I don't know what you mean by that, but, yeah, I guess not. 359 00:15:39,666 --> 00:15:42,208 Oh, God, he really is gonna kill me. 360 00:15:42,291 --> 00:15:46,208 I thought if you could walk me through it, since you seem to love telling the story, 361 00:15:46,291 --> 00:15:49,083 it might help me put this whole dead-brother thing to bed. 362 00:15:49,166 --> 00:15:51,541 Oh, yes. Well, that sounds cathartic. 363 00:15:51,625 --> 00:15:53,708 Let me just grab a pashmina. 364 00:15:53,791 --> 00:15:55,416 It gets chilly up there. 365 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:57,958 Uh, where-- Weapon, weapon, I gotta find a weapon. 366 00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:00,958 [gasps] My Nazi dildos. 367 00:16:01,041 --> 00:16:03,333 Yes, the Blitzkrieg, 368 00:16:03,416 --> 00:16:07,958 the largest and heaviest of my perfectly normal collection. 369 00:16:08,041 --> 00:16:09,083 Oops. [chuckles] 370 00:16:09,166 --> 00:16:11,833 I almost forgot my pashmina. 371 00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:14,166 It really does get chilly up there. 372 00:16:17,083 --> 00:16:21,083 Oh, there's my book… where I hide my drugs. 373 00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:22,708 [laughs] 374 00:16:22,791 --> 00:16:23,791 Books are so stupid. 375 00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:25,166 -Emmy, hide with me. -Ho! 376 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:26,750 -Dude, what's your problem? -Uh-- 377 00:16:26,833 --> 00:16:28,875 I-I'm pretty sure Dante is trying to kill me. 378 00:16:28,958 --> 00:16:31,083 [laughs] No way. That's impossible. 379 00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:34,375 Dante's in South America on some kinda sex safari. 380 00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:36,541 Well then, how do you explain this? 381 00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:39,541 -Okay, brag. -No, don't you see? 382 00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:43,625 That's a Triton-brand triple-dick condom with the third shaft torn off. 383 00:16:43,708 --> 00:16:45,208 And I found it in my throat. 384 00:16:45,291 --> 00:16:48,541 -Been there, choked on that, brother. -Emmy, I'm serious. 385 00:16:48,625 --> 00:16:51,333 Okay, dude, just chill. Jeez. 386 00:16:51,416 --> 00:16:53,500 Dante really is out of town. 387 00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:57,541 Oh! And I think he just got engaged to this gorgeous llama. 388 00:16:57,625 --> 00:17:00,541 But how do you explain the condom? I woke up with it in my mouth. 389 00:17:00,625 --> 00:17:02,833 Well, I-I read a science article once 390 00:17:02,916 --> 00:17:06,666 that said we unknowingly swallow four to five full condoms 391 00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:08,000 in our sleep every year. 392 00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:09,583 Uh, that seems inaccurate. 393 00:17:09,666 --> 00:17:13,416 So what, you think Dante came all the way back from Peru, 394 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:17,333 interrupting his llama-lingus, just to shove a condom in your throat? 395 00:17:17,416 --> 00:17:18,500 Come on, man. 396 00:17:18,583 --> 00:17:19,416 Huh… 397 00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:23,333 I guess when you say it like that, it does sound a little far-fetched. 398 00:17:23,416 --> 00:17:26,375 Exactly. I'm the voice of reason. 399 00:17:26,458 --> 00:17:29,541 Now, if you're not gonna use that condom, I will, so hand her over. 400 00:17:29,625 --> 00:17:31,208 Emmy, you can't reuse a condom. 401 00:17:31,291 --> 00:17:33,541 Well, I read a science article once that actually said you… 402 00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:36,375 Kids, I am morally obligated to tell you 403 00:17:36,458 --> 00:17:38,583 you can never reuse a condom, 404 00:17:38,666 --> 00:17:43,708 unless of course those condoms are Dr. Maury's Reusable Dong Sleeves. 405 00:17:43,791 --> 00:17:47,916 The hog hats so nice, you can junk in them twice. 406 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,250 -[Shawn] What? No way. -[Alice] I'm serious. 407 00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:53,125 That's the one thing you wish people would get from your work? 408 00:17:53,208 --> 00:17:55,791 Yeah. Everybody needs to chill the fuck out. 409 00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:56,958 Okay. Damn. 410 00:17:57,041 --> 00:18:01,875 Disabled people do not need your pity, especially me. I'm fucking perfect. 411 00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:05,375 [chuckles] You are. I knew it as soon as you ordered fries for the table. 412 00:18:05,458 --> 00:18:08,458 Ooh! This guy is perfect for you. 413 00:18:08,541 --> 00:18:11,041 He likes your sneakers, he likes fries-- 414 00:18:11,125 --> 00:18:14,541 If he likes giving oral, I am marrying him. 415 00:18:14,625 --> 00:18:16,375 Girl, you should marry him. 416 00:18:16,458 --> 00:18:18,916 Oral is the bedrock of a good marriage. 417 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,958 Damn, I kinda love seeing Alice so excited about a man. 418 00:18:22,041 --> 00:18:24,708 See? I told you all she needed was a little Hope. 419 00:18:24,791 --> 00:18:27,625 And I've barely thought about how Dante tricked me into loving him, 420 00:18:27,708 --> 00:18:28,958 that no-good motherfucker. 421 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:32,166 Girl, don't you go there. We all get tricked sometimes. 422 00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:34,708 I once fell for this brilliant young blonde. 423 00:18:34,791 --> 00:18:37,625 She said she was gonna heal the world with one drop of blood. 424 00:18:37,708 --> 00:18:41,958 This bitch ended up defrauding a small country's worth of investors. 425 00:18:42,041 --> 00:18:44,416 -You talking about that Theranos girl? -The point is, 426 00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:47,958 you never know what's gonna happen until it happens. 427 00:18:48,041 --> 00:18:51,083 And never trust anyone who only wears turtlenecks. 428 00:18:51,166 --> 00:18:53,958 Hi. We're so sorry to bother you. 429 00:18:54,041 --> 00:18:56,166 -So don't? -Yeah, please scram. 430 00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:59,958 But we just wanted to say what an inspiration you are. 431 00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:01,416 Oh, you know my work? 432 00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:05,083 Oh, no. No, um… I'm glad that you work, though. 433 00:19:05,166 --> 00:19:06,833 So brave. So inspiring. 434 00:19:06,916 --> 00:19:08,833 They are who I'm talking about. 435 00:19:08,916 --> 00:19:11,458 It's just so great to see you out and about. 436 00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:13,166 Is this your helper? Your brother? 437 00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:15,125 They need to chill the fuck out. 438 00:19:15,208 --> 00:19:18,041 No, they don't need to chill out, they need to fuck off. 439 00:19:18,125 --> 00:19:20,958 Excuse me, you guys are being ableist assholes right now. 440 00:19:21,041 --> 00:19:22,125 [Hope] You tell 'em, Shawn. 441 00:19:22,208 --> 00:19:25,833 And for your information, she's a celebrated disability rights activist. 442 00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:28,083 And I'm not her helper, I'm her colleague. 443 00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:29,416 -What'd you say? -Colleague? 444 00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,833 Did he just say they were colleagues? 445 00:19:31,916 --> 00:19:33,166 What the fuck, Rochelle? 446 00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:36,416 -What the fuck, Hope? -Oh, shit. That's not good. 447 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:41,000 Just so you know, I'm actually an ally. My mother lost a finger fishing. 448 00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:42,458 Oh, God. Don't bow. 449 00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:46,708 So you're telling me my brother, the bravest monster I know, 450 00:19:46,791 --> 00:19:50,083 urinated himself in fear, accidentally slipped in it, 451 00:19:50,166 --> 00:19:51,666 and then fell off the building? 452 00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:54,208 Yes, yes, that's right. 453 00:19:54,291 --> 00:19:56,250 Gosh, that sounds like something I would do. 454 00:19:56,333 --> 00:19:58,750 I've always been the scaredy-cat in the family. 455 00:19:58,833 --> 00:20:00,291 Oh, come off it, Gavin. 456 00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:02,416 I told you, buddy. I'm Guyvin. 457 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:06,625 Enough of the mindfucking. Admit it, you bastard. 458 00:20:06,708 --> 00:20:07,750 Whoa! What are you doing? 459 00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:09,458 I know it's you, Gavin, 460 00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:13,250 back to get your revenge on me for lying about your heroic death 461 00:20:13,333 --> 00:20:16,083 and claiming the glory for myself. 462 00:20:16,166 --> 00:20:18,875 -[gasps] Is that true? -We both know it is. 463 00:20:18,958 --> 00:20:22,625 I'm a chicken-shit coward liar. 464 00:20:22,708 --> 00:20:23,958 -Oh, Lionel. -[sobbing] 465 00:20:24,041 --> 00:20:26,625 I can see this has been tearing you up inside. 466 00:20:26,708 --> 00:20:29,625 Yes, yes, like the Blitzkrieg. Wait, what? 467 00:20:29,708 --> 00:20:33,541 Oh, I feel terrible for you. That's a lot to keep to yourself. 468 00:20:33,625 --> 00:20:35,583 So you're not upset? 469 00:20:35,666 --> 00:20:38,000 No, no. If anything, I'm relieved. 470 00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:41,666 This is the closure I needed, and it sounds like maybe you did too. 471 00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:43,958 Yes, yes, perhaps I did. 472 00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:46,583 Wow, you actually are Guyvin, 473 00:20:46,666 --> 00:20:50,500 Gavin's identical but suspiciously nice twin brother. 474 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:53,083 Aw, bring it in, my fellow scaredy-cat. 475 00:20:53,166 --> 00:20:55,000 With pleasure, Guyvin. 476 00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:56,875 -Oh, my pashmina! -I can't see! 477 00:20:56,958 --> 00:20:58,333 I'm afraid of the dark! 478 00:20:58,416 --> 00:21:01,208 -Oh, and now I'm panic-pissing. -Oh, dear. 479 00:21:01,291 --> 00:21:03,916 The pashmina! The piss! The pashmina and the piss! 480 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,583 I know you can't see, Guyvin, 481 00:21:05,666 --> 00:21:09,125 but you're really getting quite close to the edge. Oh! 482 00:21:09,208 --> 00:21:11,458 -And he's gone. -[Guyvin screams] 483 00:21:12,625 --> 00:21:13,458 [thud] 484 00:21:13,541 --> 00:21:17,791 Well, that takes care of that family, I hope. 485 00:21:19,041 --> 00:21:20,583 [Alice] Guys, what the fuck? 486 00:21:20,666 --> 00:21:24,125 -He called her his fucking colleague. -I thought this was a date. 487 00:21:24,208 --> 00:21:27,041 What do we do? Freak out? I think we should freak out. 488 00:21:27,125 --> 00:21:28,666 Freak out on three? One, two-- 489 00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:30,375 No, I'm just gonna ask him. 490 00:21:30,458 --> 00:21:34,125 So, Shawn, why exactly did you ask me out to dinner? 491 00:21:34,208 --> 00:21:36,875 Oh, yeah. I was kinda hoping I could pick your brain. 492 00:21:36,958 --> 00:21:38,791 -Ouch. -"Pick your brain"? 493 00:21:38,875 --> 00:21:42,416 I would not have put on my bra just to let him pick my brain. 494 00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:47,208 You're supposed to be picking her pussy, you pickle-pulling non-pussy picker. 495 00:21:47,291 --> 00:21:50,750 I mean, when I told my girlfriend that we were having dinner, she freaked out. 496 00:21:50,833 --> 00:21:51,791 She loves you. 497 00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:54,166 And he has a girlfriend? What are you doing? 498 00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:56,000 Girl, he's not into her. 499 00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:58,333 -So you're bailing on us? -You can't leave now. 500 00:21:58,416 --> 00:22:00,041 The Shawn just hit the fan. 501 00:22:00,125 --> 00:22:03,291 Ladies, I actually have another client who needs me. 502 00:22:03,375 --> 00:22:06,791 -And if you must know, it is Joe Biden. -The fuck? 503 00:22:06,875 --> 00:22:10,708 But that's okay, because I promise y'all, I will be back soon. 504 00:22:10,791 --> 00:22:11,625 [grunts] 505 00:22:11,708 --> 00:22:15,000 Anyway, I thought maybe you can connect me with your publisher? 506 00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:17,541 -What do I do? -Drag his ass. 507 00:22:17,625 --> 00:22:19,458 So, Shawn, I'm gonna stop you right there. 508 00:22:19,541 --> 00:22:22,000 Colleagues do not slide into each other's DMs. 509 00:22:22,083 --> 00:22:24,916 This dinner? Could have been a fucking email. 510 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,666 And you're not even colleagues. He has a shitty blog no one reads. 511 00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:31,000 But yes, you can have my publisher's contact. 512 00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:31,916 Oh, great. 513 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,583 -Wanna write this down? -Yeah, of course. 514 00:22:33,666 --> 00:22:38,625 She's at SuckMyButt@LickMyBalls.com. 515 00:22:38,708 --> 00:22:40,375 That's right, motherfucker. 516 00:22:40,458 --> 00:22:42,500 -Wait, where are you going? -I'm going home. 517 00:22:42,583 --> 00:22:44,625 And you're going on the list. 518 00:22:44,708 --> 00:22:45,833 -What list? -The list. 519 00:22:45,916 --> 00:22:50,625 And it's not like Craigslist. It's not fuckin' cool to be on this one. 520 00:22:51,208 --> 00:22:53,958 Ladies, I can't believe I thought this was a date. 521 00:22:54,041 --> 00:22:58,041 No, baby girl, this is not your fault. I let Hope get my guard down. 522 00:22:58,125 --> 00:23:00,333 Me too. What did I expect? 523 00:23:00,416 --> 00:23:02,625 -[thunderclap] -[demonic voice] That's it! 524 00:23:02,708 --> 00:23:04,333 Rochelle. Where you going? 525 00:23:04,416 --> 00:23:07,166 I am gonna whoop Hope's ass. 526 00:23:12,333 --> 00:23:14,583 -[gasps] -[screaming] 527 00:23:14,666 --> 00:23:16,041 [screaming in slow-motion] 528 00:23:18,041 --> 00:23:21,500 [in slow-motion] Dante's dick? 529 00:23:25,208 --> 00:23:26,958 Hey, man, you okay? 530 00:23:27,041 --> 00:23:28,458 -Did you see that? -See what? 531 00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:30,791 A penis was driving that… penis. 532 00:23:30,875 --> 00:23:32,333 [pants] 533 00:23:34,416 --> 00:23:36,041 [pants] 534 00:23:36,125 --> 00:23:37,333 Okay, safe and sound. 535 00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:38,666 [screams] 536 00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:41,708 "I know what you did last season"? 537 00:23:41,791 --> 00:23:42,791 Is this… 538 00:23:42,875 --> 00:23:44,958 Oh, God, it's jizz! 539 00:23:45,041 --> 00:23:46,333 [screams] 540 00:23:46,416 --> 00:23:47,958 [gasping] 541 00:23:48,041 --> 00:23:50,375 "I had extra cum." 542 00:23:50,458 --> 00:23:51,958 Oh, gross! 543 00:23:52,041 --> 00:23:53,791 -[snarls] -Ooh! 544 00:23:57,625 --> 00:23:58,500 [grunts] 545 00:23:58,583 --> 00:24:00,708 [grunting] 546 00:24:05,125 --> 00:24:07,000 [groaning] 547 00:24:07,083 --> 00:24:08,666 [straining] 548 00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:14,708 -[grunting] -[snarling] 549 00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:19,750 [sighs, gasps] 550 00:24:21,291 --> 00:24:23,125 -[somber music playing] -[sobbing] 551 00:24:23,208 --> 00:24:24,541 It's dead, Pete. 552 00:24:25,041 --> 00:24:29,458 Dante's penis can't hurt you anymore. [sobs] 553 00:24:30,583 --> 00:24:33,791 Come on, Kamala. March in there and wake Sleepy Joe the fuck up. 554 00:24:33,875 --> 00:24:35,791 But, Petra, I don't understand. 555 00:24:35,875 --> 00:24:38,125 Why can't we just use the printer in my office? 556 00:24:38,208 --> 00:24:39,791 Because Inkjet One 557 00:24:39,875 --> 00:24:42,458 is the most powerful printer in the free world. 558 00:24:42,541 --> 00:24:44,125 Where the hell is she? 559 00:24:44,208 --> 00:24:46,250 Oh, man, this is gonna be good. 560 00:24:46,333 --> 00:24:48,125 -It's okay, Joe. -[sobs] 561 00:24:48,208 --> 00:24:51,125 The Shamrock Shake will be back next year. 562 00:24:51,208 --> 00:24:53,250 [demonic voice] How fucking dare you! 563 00:24:53,333 --> 00:24:55,083 Oh, girl, no. Not here. 564 00:24:55,166 --> 00:24:57,916 [normal voice] How could you walk out in the middle of Alice's date? 565 00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,125 You're such a fucking flake. 566 00:24:59,208 --> 00:25:02,125 -I'm not doin' this with you, Rochelle. -And why the hell not? 567 00:25:02,208 --> 00:25:05,416 Because this, all this anger and hopelessness, 568 00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:07,083 has nothing to do with me. 569 00:25:07,166 --> 00:25:08,083 Excuse me?! 570 00:25:08,166 --> 00:25:11,208 This is about you feeling sorry for yourself. 571 00:25:11,291 --> 00:25:13,791 The only person I feel sorry for is Alice. 572 00:25:13,875 --> 00:25:16,416 Getting her goddamn hopes up like those fake-ass titties of yours. 573 00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:17,333 [laughs] 574 00:25:17,416 --> 00:25:19,500 Okay, first of all, these are real. 575 00:25:19,583 --> 00:25:20,791 Yeah, real fake. 576 00:25:20,875 --> 00:25:23,875 And I'm sorry that guy turned out to be an asshole. 577 00:25:23,958 --> 00:25:27,250 But Alice doesn't need your pity. She said so herself. 578 00:25:27,333 --> 00:25:29,708 What she needs is a Lovebug 579 00:25:29,791 --> 00:25:32,750 who doesn't go to pieces when things don't go her way. 580 00:25:32,833 --> 00:25:34,333 Don't you dare leave again. 581 00:25:34,416 --> 00:25:36,875 I love you, girl. You're my sister. 582 00:25:36,958 --> 00:25:40,958 And I wish I could stay, I really do, but I simply cannot. 583 00:25:41,458 --> 00:25:44,041 [guttural yell] 584 00:25:44,750 --> 00:25:46,250 Hey, not cool, man. 585 00:25:46,333 --> 00:25:48,583 [growls] Fuck you, Joe Biden. 586 00:25:48,666 --> 00:25:50,958 Aw, you can't lose hope, little lady. 587 00:25:51,041 --> 00:25:56,708 But I can fucking hate that bitch! 588 00:25:56,791 --> 00:25:58,000 Fuck yeah! 589 00:25:58,083 --> 00:25:59,333 ["F.W.T.B." by Yonaka playing] 590 00:25:59,416 --> 00:26:01,666 ♪ You're fucking with the boss now! ♪ 591 00:26:03,083 --> 00:26:04,583 [chilling music playing] 592 00:26:06,083 --> 00:26:08,833 [panting] 593 00:26:08,916 --> 00:26:09,791 [snarls] 594 00:26:09,875 --> 00:26:11,833 ♪ You're fucking with the boss now! ♪ 595 00:26:12,583 --> 00:26:14,458 ♪ You're fucking with the boss now! ♪ 596 00:26:14,541 --> 00:26:18,166 ♪ Hush, hush, legs crossed Fucking with the boss now! ♪ 597 00:26:19,166 --> 00:26:21,500 ♪ You're fucking with the boss now! ♪ 598 00:26:22,416 --> 00:26:24,416 ♪ You're fucking with the boss now! ♪ 599 00:26:25,708 --> 00:26:27,500 ♪ You're fucking with the boss now! ♪ 600 00:26:27,583 --> 00:26:31,541 ♪ Hush, hush, legs crossed Fucking with the boss now! ♪ 601 00:26:32,333 --> 00:26:34,666 ♪ You're fucking with the boss now! ♪ 602 00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:37,416 ♪ You're fucking with the boss now! ♪ 603 00:26:38,750 --> 00:26:40,583 ♪ You're fucking with the boss now! ♪ 604 00:26:40,666 --> 00:26:44,208 ♪ Hush, hush, legs crossed Fucking with the boss now! ♪ 605 00:26:49,541 --> 00:26:52,375 ♪ Fucking with the boss now! ♪