1
00:00:02,263 --> 00:00:04,047
Reheating instructions?

2
00:00:04,221 --> 00:00:06,354
"Please do not microwave
our food."

3
00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:09,444
I paid. I tipped.
I'll nuke it if I want to.

4
00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:11,489
You're not the boss of me,
Sage L.A. Café.

5
00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:14,275
Mm.

6
00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:17,104
Ah, that's such a fun way
to say "shut up."Mm.

7
00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,106
Jean, I want to make sure
I'm reading tonight correctly.

8
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,760
Are we --I washed my sheets
and shaved my legs.

9
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,371
Oh.
Above the knee.

10
00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:24,850
I'm doing something
to someone tonight.

11
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,375
[ Both chuckle ][ Sighs ]

12
00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,203
So...
So...

13
00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:30,682
Oh, my God,
I forgot to buy condoms.

14
00:00:30,856 --> 00:00:32,858
I'm such an idiot.

15
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,034
I know you're too old
to get pregnant.

16
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:36,079
Well,
you say words funny.

17
00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:37,950
No, I didn't mean it
as an insult.

18
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,127
It's just that you're not
only sleeping with me.

19
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:42,651
You'd be sleeping with all the
men my wife cheated on me with.Oh.

20
00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:44,348
And I'd be sleeping with all
the men that you've slept with.

21
00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:45,871
Oh, you don't have to worry
about them.

22
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,873
[ Chuckles ]
Either of them.

23
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,094
[ Sighs ] Danny,
you don't have to be nervous.

24
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,618
I think I do.
I-I met Cheryl when I was 19.

25
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:56,012
One or two girls before her,
and that's it.

26
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:57,883
I mean, two-and-a-half
if I'm being generous.

27
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:58,754
And lying.
It was just two.

28
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,234
Mm.

29
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:01,844
It's just that
I've been picturing this

30
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:03,280
for such a long while,
you know?

31
00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:04,760
I just don't want to
disappoint you.

32
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,327
Not possible.

33
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:09,504
[ Sighs ]
Mm.

34
00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:12,202
So, what exactly
have you been picturing?

35
00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:14,857
Well, I can show you the doodles
in my patient notes,

36
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:16,772
but I'd have to black out
their names.

37
00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:18,904
I mean, would you describe
yourself as "flexible"?

38
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,906
Uh, look, Danny,

39
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,995
this is gonna be different
for both of us.
Yeah.

40
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,302
We can't expect it
to be like when we were kids.Mm.

41
00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:27,739
I'm vetoing shower sex
right now.

42
00:01:27,913 --> 00:01:30,873
Also, no kitchen counters
or cars or upside-down stuff.

43
00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:32,875
I get lightheaded.

44
00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:35,269
Those are some of my best
doodles, but that's okay.

45
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:37,184
Um, I've just got
one thing.

46
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:38,924
You can't call me
by another name.

47
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,404
Cheryl used to
call me Pete,

48
00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:42,537
and I didn't hate it
until I met Pete.

49
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,843
Deal. Okay.
Let's do this.
Oh.

50
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,323
I think that counted
as foreplay.You're the perfect woman.

51
00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:48,673
[ Chuckles ]
Mm.

52
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,414
Freddie.

53
00:01:50,588 --> 00:01:53,069
I just said don't call me
by another...name.

54
00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:54,549
What up?

55
00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:55,767
What are you
doing here?

56
00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:57,856
Weird energy.

57
00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:02,034
Celia's in Arizona
taking a picture

58
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,775
in front of some magic rock
or something, so I need food.

59
00:02:03,949 --> 00:02:05,995
I had to leave my place
because Lane has Victor over.

60
00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:08,519
My noise-canceling
headphones died

61
00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:10,782
and Lane's door broke --
as did his headboard.

62
00:02:10,956 --> 00:02:12,871
Go Victor.

63
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:14,525
You guys want to watch
the new season of
"Murderous Lovers"?

64
00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:16,440
I'd love to --
tomorrow.

65
00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,094
No, no, I'll see spoilers
if we wait.

66
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:19,356
Can you give me
a scooch here, man?

67
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:21,141
There's a lot of couch.

68
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:22,142
Wait, if we're watching this,
I call middle.

69
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:23,708
I get scared.

70
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,275
[ Grunts ]
I hear this is the episode

71
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,147
where the gardener
kills his wife

72
00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:29,453
and then mulches his garden
with her bones.

73
00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:31,629
[ Gasps ]I frickin' love this show.

74
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:39,289
♪♪♪

75
00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:44,599
♪♪♪

76
00:02:52,128 --> 00:02:53,608
Morning.
Jean: Hey.

77
00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:55,740
[ Door closes ]Sorry about yesterday.

78
00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:57,046
Oh, it's okay.

79
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,656
Maybe we were ruining it

80
00:02:58,830 --> 00:02:59,179
with all our talking about it,
anyway.

81
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,832
Yeah, that's true.

82
00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:01,746
Those things are best
when they're spontaneous.

83
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,008
Hm.

84
00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:07,839
[ Moaning ][ Ripper barks ]

85
00:03:08,013 --> 00:03:09,754
Oh, Ripper, down.

86
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:11,452
Down, down.

87
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:12,496
He, uh --
He gets a little jealous.

88
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,803
Oh, that's so cute.
[ Chuckles ]

89
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:16,979
Uh...hey.

90
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:18,763
[ Ripper barks ]Oh.

91
00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,025
-[ Chuckles ]
-Yes.

92
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,766
[ Both moaning ][ Door opens ]

93
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,464
Jeannie, I need you.

94
00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:26,423
We have got to start
locking that door.

95
00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:28,077
I just got a call
from Ted Jr.

96
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,600
I've got to go back
to Iowa.

97
00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:32,124
What? Why?
Is he okay?

98
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:33,996
He's fine.

99
00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:35,519
That horrible wife of his
said he can't cat-sit

100
00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:37,304
for Tuna Fey anymore.

101
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,567
[ Sighs ]Says she's allergic
to cats.

102
00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:40,959
I hate her, Jean.

103
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:42,134
I hate her so much.

104
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,572
Oh, I hate her, too.

105
00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,748
I booked a flight first thing
in the morning.

106
00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:48,271
I got to go pack.

107
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,404
Oh, and you're out
of conditioner, Danny.

108
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,057
Nice try. There was half
a bottle there this morning.

109
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,451
This isn't like a hotel.I'll put it back.

110
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:55,583
I'm not out of bourbon,
either.

111
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:57,541
I'll put it back.

112
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,893
Oh, God.
So unfair.

113
00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:03,808
We don't get to celebrate
Sharon's birthday,

114
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,681
and now the mood is ruined again
for our...celebration.

115
00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:07,638
Mm.

116
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,901
Hey.

117
00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:11,512
Should we go to Iowa?

118
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:13,427
What would we do
in Iowa?

119
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:15,342
Each other.

120
00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:17,213
Then maybe a birthday party
for Sharon.

121
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:18,475
Then maybe
the tractor museum.

122
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:20,608
And then maybe
each other again.

123
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,914
Jean, I can't just pack up
and fly to Iowa.

124
00:04:23,088 --> 00:04:25,352
I'm -- I-I'm running a
seminar on abandonment
issues on Monday.

125
00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:27,049
I don't think they'll find
the irony funny.

126
00:04:27,223 --> 00:04:29,921
Well, we could just go
for the weekend.

127
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:32,533
I know it's impulsive, but think
about how great it would be.

128
00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:35,100
You said yourself our first time
should be special.Mm.

129
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,494
I've got an empty house
where nobody will bother us.

130
00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:39,148
Well, now
if I say yes,

131
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,280
it'll seem like
I'm just in it for the sex.

132
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:41,498
I'm okay with that.

133
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:44,849
♪♪♪

134
00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:46,155
Jackie, sit down.

135
00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:48,288
Good.

136
00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,115
Mom called.

137
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,118
She and Danny are going on
a romantic getaway to Iowa.

138
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,295
I know. Danny asked me
to check on the house.

139
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:56,383
And you're fine
with it?

140
00:04:56,557 --> 00:04:57,688
[ Scoffs ]
I'm just glad

141
00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:58,776
they're going anywhere
to do anything,

142
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:00,387
because that whole

143
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:01,518
will-they, won't-they
was exhausting.

144
00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,651
Well -- Well,
I think it's way too fast.

145
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,783
It's weird.
Don't you think it's weird?

146
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:07,394
It's weird.

147
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,570
I'm gonna call Mom
and tell her it's weird.

148
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,180
Something's
definitely weird.

149
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,703
I don't even hear it
anymore.

150
00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:16,141
♪♪♪

151
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:20,363
Oh, it smells like home.

152
00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:21,799
Oh, I didn't realize
how good it would feel

153
00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:24,193
to be in my own house
again.

154
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:25,803
Good God, Jean,
were you burglarized?

155
00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:27,631
What? No.

156
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:29,546
L.A. was
an impulsive trip.

157
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,548
Half a glass of wine,
couple of bras,

158
00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:33,898
unfinished jigsaw puzzle.

159
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:35,204
This must be what it felt like
to discover Pompeii.

160
00:05:37,989 --> 00:05:41,123
"Sex For One: Discovering
the 'I' in Widow."

161
00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:42,951
Oh,
that was a gag gift.

162
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,648
There's a bookmark
in it.[ Both moan ]

163
00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:48,783
That isa fun way
to say "shut up."

164
00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:51,307
You know, there's other fun
we could have.

165
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:52,526
The kind we haven't had
for months

166
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:53,483
that we finally
get to have.

167
00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:56,573
Mm.
[ Chuckles ]

168
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,749
[ Sighs ] Oh, that
would have been so sexy

169
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:01,012
if one of those things
hadn't been yogurt.

170
00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:03,450
[ Chuckles ] Now, take me to bed
or lose me forever!

171
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:04,712
I love a sexy threat.

172
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:05,887
[ Giggles ]

173
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:08,106
[ Both moaning ]

174
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,373
What's wrong?

175
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,940
Is there a wet spot
from the yogurt?

176
00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:19,640
Is this Mike?

177
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:22,730
Oh, God, Danny.
I'm so sorry.

178
00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:25,210
Obviously,
I wasn't [sighs]

179
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,474
planning on bringing a man back
when I left.

180
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,867
Please, Jean.
I-I know you were married.

181
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,260
I just, uh -- It just caught me
off guard, that's all.

182
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:32,653
I'm good. I'm good.

183
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:34,394
You want me
to turn it around?

184
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:35,525
Please.Okay, yeah.

185
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:36,831
Yep.
[ Clears throat ]

186
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:38,136
Oh, you have a dog?

187
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,138
Had.

188
00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,097
Lucy.
Hmm.

189
00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:45,796
You okay now?One more question.

190
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,798
Is that anyone?

191
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,147
Oh, no.
That's just a vase.

192
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:50,192
Then I'm good.
Okay.

193
00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:52,107
[ Both moan ]

194
00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,719
H-He already shot her.

195
00:06:55,893 --> 00:06:58,026
Why does he need to
run her over with his car?

196
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,377
Mm, he has to break her
bones so she's easier
to stuff in a shed.

197
00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,379
It's always a shed.Always a shed.

198
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:10,255
What the hell
are we watching?

199
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,866
"Murderous Lovers."

200
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,302
[ Scoffs ]
But why are we watching it?

201
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:14,825
This show is horrible.

202
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:17,001
This is not the way
the world should be.

203
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:18,655
Why would he kill
that poor girl?

204
00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:19,917
They were engaged.

205
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:22,398
I think
that's why he did it.

206
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,835
Running someone over
four times is easier
than just breaking up.

207
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:27,011
Chips?How can you eat?

208
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:28,665
You people are broken.

209
00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:31,886
You guys, you really
don't think it's weird

210
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,627
that Mom skipped town
with Danny like that?

211
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:35,237
I mean, I haven't even been
to the Valley with Celia,

212
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:36,151
and we're getting married.

213
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,502
Do you think
they're gonna get married?

214
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:42,244
Would -- Would Danny
a-adopt us?

215
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,028
What? I'd be --

216
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:46,466
I'd be Freddie,
uh...

217
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,119
What -- Wait,
what's Danny's last name?

218
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,295
[ Scoffs ] How can you
not know Danny's last name?

219
00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:54,386
It's...

220
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,737
Lane, you listen when Mom talks.
What's Danny's last name?

221
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:58,478
Okay, first of all,
I listen when everybody talks

222
00:07:58,652 --> 00:07:59,609
because
I'm a people-person.

223
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:01,132
That's what
people-people do.

224
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:03,831
Second of all,
it's, um...

225
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,223
Jackman?

226
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,660
Kidman?

227
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:07,704
Hemsworth?

228
00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:10,707
So you don't know,
either?

229
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:13,101
So none of us know anything
about this guy.

230
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:15,059
I think it's because

231
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:16,800
he always turns
the conversation back on me.

232
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:17,932
I really like that
about him.

233
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:19,673
But why does he do that?

234
00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:20,151
I always thought
that was the therapist in him.

235
00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,371
Yeah.

236
00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:23,503
Maybe it's the killer
in him.

237
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,069
So you think
Danny's a killer

238
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,462
because you're
too self-absorbed

239
00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:27,811
to ask about
his personal life?

240
00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:31,336
I'm just saying, a dude
whose name we don't know

241
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,077
got our mom to skip town
with him

242
00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:35,558
after dating her
for like an hour.

243
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,342
Okay, you're starting
to sound like the
people on this show.

244
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,954
The show where people
get murdered

245
00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:41,521
because they skip town
with guys

246
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:43,871
they've only dated
for like an hour?

247
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:45,002
[ Music plays
on television ]

248
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:46,743
[ Gasps ][ Screams ]

249
00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,398
Yeah.
Phew.

250
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:54,882
Hey,
did you miss me?

251
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:57,798
Hey,
did you miss me?

252
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:02,150
Hey!
Oh.

253
00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:03,891
Sorry, my -- my ears haven't
popped since the plane.

254
00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:05,849
Oh, wow.

255
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:06,937
You look beautiful.

256
00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:09,157
[ Breathes deeply ]

257
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:10,419
Do you want another glass
of champagne?

258
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:11,855
Do you want to go
upstairs

259
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:12,900
and see what's under
this nightgown?

260
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:14,292
More than anything
in the world.

261
00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:16,381
[ Giggles ]

262
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,731
Ooh.

263
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,386
[ Sighs ]
That was the perfect night.

264
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,258
Uh, can I get you
some breakfast?

265
00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:25,782
Ooh, no time. [ Chuckles ]
It's Sharon's birthday.

266
00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:27,349
I've got a thousand errands
to run.

267
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:29,090
Oh, you're dressed.

268
00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:30,613
Okay, um, I'll get dressed
and come with you.

269
00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:32,223
Hey, maybe we can swing by
the tractor museum.

270
00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:35,618
Danny, you can't just swing by
the tractor museum.

271
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,577
I mean, the evolution
from horse-drawn

272
00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:39,448
to horse-powered
doesn't happen overnight.

273
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:41,798
[ Chuckles ]
It's better if I go by myself.

274
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:44,671
Jean, is everything okay?

275
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,108
Yeah, yeah, fine.
Finish the puzzle.

276
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:49,763
Make yourself at home.
I'll see you later.

277
00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:52,113
♪♪♪

278
00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:59,033
I-I did all this.
What is her problem?

279
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:00,861
Hey-hey!

280
00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:04,516
The birthday girl is here,
and she is ready to part-ay!

281
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,693
[ Laughs ]
You guys had sex.

282
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,564
How did you...

283
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,305
I can always tell.

284
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:11,393
It's my superpower.

285
00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:14,222
So how was it?

286
00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:17,442
Uh, Sharon, a gentleman never,
uh -- never tells.

287
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,053
Oh, come on.
You can tell me.

288
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:20,097
I'm your best friend.

289
00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:21,664
No, you're not.

290
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,666
It's my birthday.Okay, fine.

291
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:24,972
You're my best friend,
but that's your gift.

292
00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:28,497
So, it's just...
Jean and I finally --

293
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,020
You plowed her
like a corn field.

294
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:32,806
That's one way
I-I would never say it.

295
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:34,634
So we did that.

296
00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:36,636
And then, she couldn't get
out of here fast enough.

297
00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:39,726
Oh.

298
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,510
Well, maybe it was bad.

299
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:42,467
I don't think it was bad.

300
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,513
The guy never does.

301
00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:45,340
But she would say something
if she thought it was bad.

302
00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:46,733
The girl never does.

303
00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:49,736
Oh, God.

304
00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:51,868
You're right.
It was bad.

305
00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:53,914
Oh, it was such a build-up,
and now she's disappointed.

306
00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:55,611
I mean, that's why she took off
out of here so fast.

307
00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:56,656
She couldn't bear
to look at me.

308
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:58,658
Wh-- Why would I try
new moves?

309
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,442
I barely have old moves.

310
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,226
Just tell me
what you did,

311
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,141
and I'll tell you
if you did it right or wrong.

312
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:05,447
M-Maybe show me.

313
00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,318
Here.

314
00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:08,842
This pillow is her head.

315
00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:12,541
And if you don't know
what this pillow is,

316
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:13,498
then you definitely
did it wrong.

317
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,239
[ Door opens ]

318
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:16,850
Sharon.

319
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,678
What are you doing here
early?

320
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:20,114
I don't have
anything ready.

321
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:23,030
You're not born for another
2 hours and 27 minutes.

322
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,075
Okay, well,
I'll come back when I'm born

323
00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:25,946
and leave you two alone.

324
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:28,122
Give it another go.

325
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:29,689
And remember --

326
00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:31,429
the top pillow
is just as important

327
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:32,561
as the bottom pillow.

328
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:35,129
You got it.

329
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:38,567
Sorry that took me
so long.

330
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,090
[ Door closes ]I hit the bakery

331
00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:41,657
and got cornered by
Andrea Decker.

332
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:43,050
Apparently,
they lost committee members

333
00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:45,356
for the
Annual Spring Fling.

334
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:48,098
She completely roped me into
hosting the planning meeting.

335
00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:49,360
What do you mean?
When's that happening?

336
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,972
Uh, Thursday.
It's just a coffee/donut social,

337
00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,800
but still,
it's like 40 people.

338
00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:55,236
But we're flying back
to L.A. tomorrow.

339
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:57,107
Oh, well, actually,

340
00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,370
I was thinking maybe
I would stay a little longer.

341
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,938
Oh, but, Jean, uh, remember,
I have that seminar Monday.

342
00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:03,679
Oh, I know,
but I don't have anything,

343
00:12:03,853 --> 00:12:06,769
and like I said, it's so nice
to be home, seeing old friends.

344
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,902
So I thought maybe I would,
you know, stay a little longer.

345
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:12,166
Was the sex bad?

346
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:14,385
What?

347
00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,301
Because I told you I haven't
done the sex since Cheryl.

348
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:19,390
Did I not do
the sex well?

349
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,479
Okay, first of all,
the sex wasn't bad.

350
00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:24,004
And second of all,
please don't call it "the sex,"

351
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:26,789
or I don't know if I can have
"the sex" with you again.

352
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:28,835
Well, if it wasn't bad,
I'm confused.

353
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:31,185
You ran out of here,
you left me alone all day,

354
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:32,752
and now you're making plans
to stay longer?

355
00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:34,057
Well, so what?

356
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,755
Like I said,
it's nice to be home.

357
00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:36,625
I thought L.A.
was your home.

358
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,453
Well,
I can have two homes.

359
00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,281
Rich people do it
all the time.

360
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:42,587
Ellen DeGeneres has a house
just for her dogs.

361
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,372
What, do you mean
like a doghouse,

362
00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:45,895
or like a big, people house
that dogs live in --

363
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:48,463
No, I'm not getting
sucked in.

364
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:50,508
I thought sleeping together
meant that we were ready

365
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:52,075
to commit to something
with each other.

366
00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:54,034
And I didn't think
that sleeping together

367
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,819
meant I had to give up
everything.

368
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,995
My whole life was just decided
in seven minutes?

369
00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:00,127
Oh, well, thank you
for including the time

370
00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:01,868
it took me
to take off your bra.

371
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:05,045
I-I don't see what's wrong
with wanting my life here.

372
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,177
This place
is a part of me.The oldpart.

373
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:09,136
I'm not just gonna
give up my old life

374
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,007
to start something new
with you.

375
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:13,096
Okay, and what am I
supposed to do

376
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:14,924
while you're in Iowa
planning the Spring Fling?

377
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:16,578
I don't know, Danny.

378
00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:18,188
I guess you should just do
whatever you want.

379
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:19,799
Stay, go --
it's your call.

380
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,019
I guess I'll go.

381
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,980
Tell Sharon
happy birthday.

382
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,161
[ Door handle rattles ]

383
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:35,292
You have to lift up
and pull.

384
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:36,816
You know what?

385
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:37,991
I didn't need your help
with the bra,

386
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:39,166
and I don't need it
with the door.

387
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:44,824
[ Door closes ]

388
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,610
[ Sighs ]

389
00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:51,787
[ Sighs ] I can't believe
you broke that.

390
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,397
I was just trying to see
if it was a real diploma

391
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:54,921
or something he ordered
off the Internet.

392
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:56,444
At least we know
his last name now.

393
00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:57,619
And for the record,
I was right.

394
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,012
Hemsworth.

395
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,883
Must be like Smith
over there.

396
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,145
You guys, we have to get rid
of the broken glass

397
00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:03,451
and put it back up
on the wall.

398
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,932
Jackie, relax.

399
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:07,629
I'm just gonna put it in
the bottom of a garbage can.

400
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:09,370
He'll never know
it was us.

401
00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:11,720
[ Gasps ][ Gasps ]

402
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,722
It's always a shed.

403
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,332
[ Eerie music plays ]

404
00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:18,683
So, the birthday bonanza
starts

405
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,990
at Otis and Henry's
for some apps.

406
00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:22,905
Then Hickory House
for dinner.
Mm-hmm.

407
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:24,820
And then,
when we're good and drunk,

408
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:26,604
we're gonna sneak into
Andrea Decker's garden

409
00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:27,692
and steal
heirloom tomatoes.

410
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,304
[ Laughs ]

411
00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:32,262
Jean, are you sure
you're up for this?

412
00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:33,960
Danny just left.

413
00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,265
You must be --

414
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,659
What? [ Chuckles ]
I'm what?

415
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:39,530
Happy to be spending
your birthday with you?

416
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:41,271
Glad to be back
in Waterloo?

417
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:44,535
[ Sighs ]Okay, you're right.

418
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:47,321
And I only have so
much time with you
before you go back.

419
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:49,149
Well, actually,
I-I was thinking

420
00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:51,325
maybe I'd stay around
for a bit.

421
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:53,022
Really? How long?

422
00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:55,285
I don't know,
maybe open-ended.

423
00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:58,332
You saw what it was like in
L.A. -- all fancy and weird.

424
00:14:58,506 --> 00:15:01,465
With their valet parking
and vegan dog food.

425
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:03,337
[ Chuckles ]

426
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:04,642
Yeah, but the kids
are back there.

427
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,384
Yeah, I know.

428
00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:09,517
But is it really healthy
for me to live so close?

429
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,127
I'm worried
about stifling them.

430
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:12,476
They're grown.

431
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,304
Kids need room
to blossom.

432
00:15:14,478 --> 00:15:17,742
"Stifling."
"Blossom."

433
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,570
Jean, you'd wear those kids
as a backpack if you could.

434
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,137
Meh. [ Chuckles ]

435
00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:23,139
Jackie's on the mend,

436
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:26,099
and Freddie's found a wonderful
girl to spend his life with.

437
00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:28,275
I think it's time I step aside
and let Celia be

438
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:29,841
the most important woman
in Freddie's life.

439
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:33,236
Okay, enough.

440
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,456
[ Sighs ]
Jean,
what are you doing?

441
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,545
You've been waiting for months
to get together with Danny.

442
00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:39,851
And I did.
Now, let's call a stripper.

443
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,288
[ Chuckles ]

444
00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,594
Okay, stop.

445
00:15:43,768 --> 00:15:46,858
Whatever went wrong,
I'm sure you can get past it.

446
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,948
I don't know if I can.

447
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:52,908
Honey, you got everything
you want in L.A.

448
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:54,127
Why are you running away?

449
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,738
I'm not running away.

450
00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:59,697
I just decided
to stay with you.

451
00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:00,307
[ Voice breaking ]
I want you.

452
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,441
Why are you ruining
your birthday for me?

453
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:05,834
Aww.

454
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,879
[ Crying ]

455
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:10,926
[ Eerie music playing ]

456
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,884
[ Gasps ]

457
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,061
Oh, thank God!

458
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,237
Danny's a drag queen.

459
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:20,109
Oh, Lane.
To be that naive.

460
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:22,024
If only Danny
was a drag queen.

461
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:24,113
These obviously belong
to the women that he killed.

462
00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:27,029
[ Sighs ]I like this for you,
Jackie.

463
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:28,596
You're contaminating
the scene.

464
00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:30,598
Yeah, Lane. We have to
bag-and-tag for the cops.

465
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:32,469
But since
you already touched it,

466
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:34,210
you may as well touch
those matching shoes.

467
00:16:34,384 --> 00:16:36,473
[ Chuckles ]Stop victim-shopping.

468
00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,562
[ Gasps ]

469
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:39,999
What the hell's
going on?

470
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:42,218
Yeah, that's right, bud.
We found it.

471
00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:43,915
We found all of it.

472
00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:47,267
Where's my mom, Danny?

473
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,095
Ourmom.Where's their mom,
Danny?

474
00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:51,488
She's back in Iowa.

475
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:52,881
What are you doing
with Cheryl's clothes?

476
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:56,928
Cheryl's clothes?
As in, Cheryl, your ex-wife?

477
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,365
Ohhhhhh.Ohhhhhh.

478
00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:00,715
Yeah.
That makes sense.

479
00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:02,238
Yeah,
after the divorce,

480
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:04,066
I wanted her clothes
out of the house.

481
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,807
But, uh, she didn't
have room for everything
in her new place,

482
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,374
so I let her store them
here in the shed

483
00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:08,375
while she got
her closets redone.

484
00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:12,031
See? I told you
he was normal, you idiot.

485
00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:13,684
You're the one
who said we had to

486
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,295
"bag-and-tag" these
for the cops.The cops?

487
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:16,818
-They thought you murdered Jean.
-Lane.

488
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:18,646
-Okay.
-And multiple other women.

489
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,039
There's this whole theory
about how you lure them

490
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,170
into your guest house
with your low rates.

491
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:22,563
I thought
you were a drag queen.

492
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:23,607
He doesn't need to know
all this.

493
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:25,044
We're sorry.

494
00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:26,393
We were watching
our murder show,

495
00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:28,612
and we started talking about
you and Mom.

496
00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:30,527
We realized we didn't know
anything about you,

497
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:32,921
so we started digging,
and it got out of hand.

498
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:35,402
If you want to know
something about me, just ask.

499
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,230
I'll tell you anything.

500
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:39,319
I was born in Canberra,
I came to America for school,

501
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:41,669
and I manage a "Lord of
the Rings" fan-fiction website.

502
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:43,540
See?

503
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:44,976
He's not a killer.

504
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:47,892
He's just boring.

505
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:48,893
None of these are yours?

506
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,939
I'm sorry.

507
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,462
Hey, listen, uh,
I've been on a plane all day.

508
00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:53,855
I'm really tired.

509
00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:55,378
Um, let's just go inside,
have a beer.

510
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:56,510
We can talk about
whatever you want.

511
00:17:56,684 --> 00:17:58,860
Actually,
I amcurious.

512
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:00,731
I found a box in
your hall closet that
had two locks on it.

513
00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:02,124
What's in there?

514
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:03,038
That's none
of your damn business.

515
00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:08,609
♪♪♪

516
00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:14,354
It wasthe sex.

517
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:17,531
You flew back
to tell me

518
00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:19,359
the sex was so bad
you had to move?

519
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:20,534
That is a text, Jean.

520
00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:22,231
No.

521
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,233
The sex was incredible.

522
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,148
Go on.

523
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:29,456
I-I just assumed
that our first time

524
00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:31,545
would be,
you know, so-so.

525
00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:34,200
Just like
every other first time.

526
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:37,159
We'd both be uncomfortable,
out of sync.

527
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:38,421
I'd accidentally
call you Pete.

528
00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:39,683
Because once you asked me
not to,

529
00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:40,380
it was all
I could think about.

530
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:44,514
But it wasn't like that.

531
00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:47,126
It was just
instantly right.

532
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,563
Like everything else
about us.

533
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,522
We traveled well together.

534
00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:54,350
You gave me your little
bready-stick things

535
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:56,309
from the snack mix
on the plane.

536
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:57,397
You love
those bready-stick things.I know.

537
00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:03,403
And a-as soon as we had sex
in Iowa

538
00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:05,187
and I was surrounded
by the memories

539
00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:08,451
of everything I lost before,

540
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:11,280
I realized
I could lose you, too.

541
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,239
And it was too much.

542
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:16,633
So, to be clear,
you sent me away

543
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:18,722
because what we have
is too great.

544
00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:20,289
[ Sighs ]

545
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,813
And, just for me,
the topper is,

546
00:19:22,987 --> 00:19:24,163
I was toogood in bed.

547
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:36,392
[ Breathes deeply ]
It's scary for me, too.

548
00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:50,928
Mom!
You're alive!

549
00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:52,626
What?[ Chuckles ]

550
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,585
Oh, well, it's a long story,
but we missed you.

551
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,761
Aww, you missed me?

552
00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:00,155
Aww, that's such a sweet thing
to come home to.

553
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,766
So, you arehome?

554
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,333
Yeah.

555
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:06,335
I've got everything
I want here.

556
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:07,684
My kids are here.
My boyfriend's here.

557
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:08,250
What else do I need?

558
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,646
Uh, I'll see you guys
tomorrow.

559
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:13,864
Oh, no -- But -- No!
What -- What about --

560
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:16,084
Real quick --
I -- Ah!

561
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:18,695
[ Door handle rattles ]Hey, since when
does this door lock?

562
00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:21,045
Jean: I love you guys,
but if I can hear you,

563
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,656
you'll be able to hear me!

564
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:24,266
[ Chuckles ]
And Danny!

565
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,702
Ugh, God. Ugh.Okay, we're going.

566
00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:34,233
[ Sighs ] Why did I talk you
into moving back to L.A.?

567
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:37,148
Because you're a good friend
who wants me to be happy.

568
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:39,063
You left a couple things.

569
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,674
Oh, I did it
so I'd have to come back.

570
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:42,893
And I'm bringing Tuna Fey
next time.

571
00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:44,460
I promised I'd show her
the ocean before she dies.

572
00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:49,248
Just go and enjoy L.A.

573
00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:50,597
I love you, Jeannie.

574
00:20:50,771 --> 00:20:52,251
I love you, too.

575
00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:56,864
[ Smooches ][ Tablet bloops ]

576
00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:59,127
[ Sighs ]

577
00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:05,525
♪♪♪

578
00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:11,879
♪♪♪

579
00:21:12,053 --> 00:21:14,011
Mm.

580
00:21:14,185 --> 00:21:21,845
♪♪♪

581
00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:29,940
♪♪♪