1
00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:04,395
Come on.
Turn around.

2
00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:05,570
You were one minute away.

3
00:00:05,744 --> 00:00:07,181
How are you six minutes away
now?

4
00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:08,617
Morning.
Who are you yelling at?

5
00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:10,967
I ordered a ride-share
30 minutes ago,

6
00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:12,882
but Christine S.
keeps turning left.

7
00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:14,666
I don't know
what's happening.

8
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,755
You have a very low
passenger rating.

9
00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:18,496
Two out of five stars?!

10
00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:20,237
What'd you do, Jean?

11
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:23,371
I don't know.
I'm a very good passenger.

12
00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:24,981
I make conversation,
I help with directions,

13
00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:26,417
and I always sit in front

14
00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:27,810
so we can have
a face-to-face conversation

15
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:29,333
when I talk politics.

16
00:00:29,507 --> 00:00:30,900
Run, Christine S.,
run!

17
00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:32,989
Oh! I think she heard you.
She dropped me.

18
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:33,946
Where are you
trying to go?

19
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:35,470
The grocery store.

20
00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:37,124
I asked Freddie to take me,
but he said he had

21
00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:39,126
such a good parking spot,
he didn't want to give it up.

22
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:40,953
And then I called Jackie
to drive me,

23
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:43,043
but she said she drove me
three times last week

24
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:44,827
and her carbon footprint
was getting too big.

25
00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:48,309
Hmm. Look, you've been here
a few weeks now,

26
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:51,703
and Los Angeles is really not
a town you can be without a car.

27
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:53,705
I mean, people become afraid
to answer your calls.

28
00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:55,359
I mean, I'm sexually
attracted to you,

29
00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:57,318
and even I don't
pick up sometimes.

30
00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:59,320
Yeah, I live across
the courtyard.

31
00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:00,451
I can hear your phone ring.Ah.

32
00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:02,105
And see you turn
your lights off.

33
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:04,499
Hmm. Look, don't you have
a job starting soon?

34
00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:05,804
I mean,
what's your plan now?

35
00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:06,892
Oh, I thought you and I
could carpool.

36
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:07,980
I work from home, Jean.

37
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:09,286
So we'll drop you off first.

38
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:11,114
Jean...

39
00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:13,682
it's time.

40
00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:16,772
I remember when you guys
first got your licenses,

41
00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:18,948
and I didn't get to drive you
to school anymore.

42
00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:20,689
I missed our time
together in the car.

43
00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:22,560
Now when I get my own car,

44
00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:25,781
you're gonna miss
your time with me.

45
00:01:25,955 --> 00:01:26,956
The blue one's nice.

46
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,131
Hey, where does she sign?!

47
00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:30,264
Okay,
everybody calm down.

48
00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:33,093
We are not making
any emotional purchases today.

49
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:34,355
Which is why
I'm doing the talking

50
00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:35,530
when the salesman
gets here.

51
00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:36,574
I worked on a car lot
when I was 18.

52
00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:38,054
I speak their language.

53
00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:39,447
Also, let's not
dance around it,

54
00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:41,536
I'm the best-looking
of the bunch.

55
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,581
Okay, Cookie, we'll
take our cues from you,

56
00:01:43,755 --> 00:01:45,409
but I'm gonna do my part.

57
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,368
These babies still have
a little gas in the tank.

58
00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:49,109
Ugh.

59
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:56,464
♪♪♪

60
00:01:56,638 --> 00:02:00,903
♪♪♪

61
00:02:01,077 --> 00:02:06,430
♪♪♪

62
00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:08,998
It means a lot to me
that you guys are here.

63
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:11,261
You could've been anywhere,
but you're here with me.

64
00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:14,003
Well, actually, Celia's
in Chicago for two days

65
00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:15,439
at an influencer convention,
so I have nothing else to do.

66
00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:17,049
Hmm, actually, I had
three vacation days

67
00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:18,268
that were about to expire,

68
00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:19,661
and Lane told me
we were going to lunch.

69
00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:22,446
Still, you're here with me.
[ Chuckles ]

70
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,187
Hey, wait. If you guys
are alone tonight,

71
00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:25,841
you have to come over
for dinner.

72
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:28,409
It hasn't been just the three
of us since I came out here.

73
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:29,975
In fact, it hasn't been
just the three of us

74
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,368
since you guys
were in high school.

75
00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:33,588
Jackie always had
a boyfriend.

76
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,807
And Freddie always had
to bring a friend along

77
00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:37,940
when we went to the lake
for the summer.

78
00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:41,378
Who eventually became
one of Jackie's boyfriends.

79
00:02:41,552 --> 00:02:44,251
I was not prepared
to relive this today.

80
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:46,731
Okay, Bryce,
this is our customer.

81
00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:49,038
I hope I can trust you
to take care of my girl.

82
00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:51,432
Go ahead Bryce,
you got this.

83
00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:53,608
Well, may I suggest
this model?

84
00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:55,827
It gets excellent gas mileage

85
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:57,655
and has the highest
safety rating in its class.

86
00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:58,961
Ooh.

87
00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:02,094
[ Chuckles ]

88
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,748
What's that?

89
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:06,055
Oh, that's your multimedia
infotainment touchscreen.

90
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,492
Oh, so high-tech.

91
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:11,843
Play Celine Dion!

92
00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,454
That's not how it works.
[ Chuckles ]

93
00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:14,803
Oh.

94
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:16,631
But you can also get it with
an optional sunroof.

95
00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:18,589
[ Gasps ]
Does that cost extra?

96
00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:20,852
Eh...a little.

97
00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:23,420
Translation -- a lot.

98
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:27,250
That's right,
I speak your language.

99
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:28,904
I'll just take
the base model.

100
00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:31,733
But not in white because people
can't see you when it snows.

101
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:33,909
Mom, this is Los Angeles.
It never snows.

102
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,824
Yeah, and white's nice 'cause it
hides the ash from the fires.

103
00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:37,347
Oh, I'll take the white.

104
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:38,827
I'll track one down
for you

105
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:39,958
and give you a call
when I have it.

106
00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:41,743
Oh, I-I can't
get it today?

107
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:44,093
But I start a new job today.
How am I gonna get to work?

108
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:46,530
I call dibs on taking
Mother Raines to work!

109
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,358
Oh, shoot,
I was gonna offer.

110
00:03:48,532 --> 00:03:50,882
Snooze, you lose, guys.

111
00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:52,449
Good morning, Amy.

112
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:54,059
I brought you some
first-day donuts.

113
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,844
Oh, thank God.
I almost had a yogurt.

114
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,063
[ Chuckles ]
You're an hour early.

115
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:01,023
Oh, I went over all
my orientation materials.

116
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:02,764
I got new binders.

117
00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:04,679
And I'm wearing a lipstick
called "Success."

118
00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,768
[ Chuckles ] Are you ready
for your first client?

119
00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:09,684
I've got a client.
I've never had a client.

120
00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:11,599
I'm like a lawyer
or a prostitute.

121
00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:14,558
I've got
a Julia Roberts movie job!

122
00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:17,039
Don't call yourself
a prostitute.

123
00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:19,389
College counseling cannot
take another controversy.

124
00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:21,652
Oh, okay.
Business Amy.

125
00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,175
No. Boss Amy.

126
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:24,699
Got it. Boss Amy.

127
00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:26,483
Your job is to figure out
a kid's strength

128
00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:27,702
and get them into college.

129
00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:29,704
But sometimes kids
have no strengths.

130
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,314
Oh, as a teacher,

131
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:32,184
I like to think that
all students

132
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:33,708
have something to offer.

133
00:04:33,882 --> 00:04:36,972
[ Chuckles ]
Counterpoint -- meet Connor.

134
00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:39,322
That's my first client?

135
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:42,369
I can smell the weed
through the computer.

136
00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:43,761
May-Maybe I should start
with an easy one.

137
00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:45,807
This is an easy one.

138
00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:47,330
You think parents
bring their kids to us

139
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:48,592
when they're
Harvard material?

140
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:50,768
You're lucky this
isn't a mug shot.

141
00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:53,336
I believe in you.
You can do this.

142
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:55,556
Unless you can't do it,
then I'll fire you.

143
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,688
And don't put up
any personal pictures

144
00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:59,299
'cause I don't like looking
at people's children

145
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:00,517
when I'm canning
their asses.

146
00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:03,477
♪♪♪

147
00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:05,653
-Hi, Mom.
-Hi, guys.

148
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:06,436
What are you doing here?

149
00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:07,916
You invited us to dinner.

150
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:10,440
Oh, dinner, right.

151
00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:12,529
Oh, I haven't even
gone to the market yet.

152
00:05:12,703 --> 00:05:14,531
My first day turned out to be
so much more intense

153
00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:15,924
than I thought
it was gonna be.

154
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,839
There are two sides
to Amy.

155
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:20,145
And today I met Boss Amy.
She doesn't play.

156
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,583
Or give bathroom breaks.

157
00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:23,932
If you have a lot
of work to do,

158
00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:25,237
we don't have to
do this tonight.

159
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,109
Yeah, we could totally
do it next weekend

160
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:27,936
when Celia's back in town.

161
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:31,418
Oh, God, no!
[ Chuckles ]

162
00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:33,681
I do have a lot of work,
but I can multitask.

163
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:34,638
I'll be fine.

164
00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:36,161
Okay.
Should we just order in?

165
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,598
Order in
for Family Dinner?

166
00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:39,730
[ Scoffs ]
Who am I, Aunt Kim?

167
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:42,385
Why don't we just go to
Hometown Buffet for Thanksgiving

168
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,692
and get a plastic Christmas tree
while we're at it?

169
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:47,782
Are we a family
or are we from New York?

170
00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:50,437
Okay, Mom. We know.
We'll let you cook.

171
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,177
Oh, good.
How about my curried chicken?

172
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,788
I do love
your curried chicken.

173
00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:55,964
I-I just need to borrow
a few ingredients from Danny.

174
00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:58,619
How about I make my brownies
for dessert?

175
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,708
Freddie, it's your turn
to be my taste tester.

176
00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,231
[ Gasps ]
Ooh, taste tester?

177
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:03,754
I don't think I've been
taste tester since high school.

178
00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:05,277
If you don't want
to do it, I --

179
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:06,757
She just said
it was my turn.

180
00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:08,498
Okay, well, if he gets the bowl,
I get the spoon.

181
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:10,108
Oh, yeah,
you get the spoon.

182
00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:10,935
How else am I supposed to
get the batter out of the bowl,

183
00:06:11,109 --> 00:06:12,633
you idiot?!

184
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,025
Uh, I don't know,
use your fingers, turd.

185
00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:17,768
Oh, my babies are home.

186
00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:21,076
♪♪♪

187
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:24,253
[ Knocks on door ]

188
00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:25,689
I don't need a ride.

189
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:29,171
Oh.

190
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:31,347
Hey, how's
the career woman?

191
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,654
Oh, spread a little thin.
Ah.

192
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:35,873
I've got about six hours
of research to do tonight,

193
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:38,180
but right now, I've got
my babies all to myself,

194
00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:39,442
and I'm gonna
make them dinner.

195
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:40,617
Can I borrow
a few odds and ends?

196
00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:41,705
Yeah, sure.

197
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:42,924
Okay, I need
three chicken breasts,

198
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:44,578
an onion,
a bag of frozen peas,

199
00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:46,014
anything that might go
into a salad,

200
00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:48,277
and a can of coconut milk.

201
00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:50,061
So all you have
is a flame and a pan?

202
00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:52,324
Oh, I also need a pan.

203
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,151
Why don't you just
order in?

204
00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:54,849
Because I'm not Aunt Kim.

205
00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:58,374
I cook for Family Dinners,
and I know my drink limit.

206
00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:00,115
And it's never
just the three of us.

207
00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:01,377
And who knows when it's gonna
be just the three of us again.

208
00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:02,813
Hmm.

209
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:04,293
There are boyfriends
and girlfriends,

210
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:06,730
and pretty soon there's
gonna be families and in-laws.

211
00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:09,080
And this gives me a chance
to get a taste

212
00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:09,777
of what it used to be...

213
00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:11,300
Hmm.

214
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:12,780
...when they'd come home
for winter break

215
00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:14,608
and I'd buy
all their favorite snacks

216
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:16,827
and put their towels in
the dryer

217
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,699
so they'd be toasty when
they got out of the shower.

218
00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:20,396
Oh, wow.
I wish you were my mom.

219
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:21,658
Our thing
is complicated enough.

220
00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:24,444
Yeah, I heard it.

221
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,576
Besides, this is what
I came to L.A. for --

222
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,622
to have quality time
with my kids.

223
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:30,319
Look, I know what you mean.

224
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:31,973
I mean, when my daughter
was little,

225
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,888
I used to take her to ride
the ponies at Griffith Park.

226
00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:36,412
I used to have to hold
the reins for her.

227
00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:38,545
Then she made me
let go of the reins.

228
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:39,589
Then she made a go
at the Jet Ski,

229
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,939
and the pony and I
were both out.

230
00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:44,464
Jean, every parent wishes
they could go backwards.

231
00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:46,727
Just --
Just don't be surprised

232
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:49,643
if you find you can't recapture
the magic of your memories.

233
00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:50,687
Your kids are grown-ups.

234
00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:52,341
♪♪♪

235
00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:55,779
Mom, Freddie's brownie's
bigger than mine!

236
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:56,693
Cow bite!

237
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:57,912
Ow!

238
00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:59,304
[ Buzzer sounds ]

239
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,045
Oh, Freddie,
that's your last load.

240
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:03,613
I can't believe you made Mom
do your laundry.

241
00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:04,962
I didn't make her.

242
00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:06,964
I just mentioned that
it was in my car

243
00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:08,096
and that I don't have
any more clean clothes

244
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:09,663
and that my laundromat's
in a bad neighborhood.

245
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:10,925
I can't help that
she wanted to do it.

246
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:13,754
Oh, I love hanging
with you guys.

247
00:08:13,928 --> 00:08:15,364
This has been
the best night.

248
00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:18,715
I mean, I love Lane,
and Celia's...

249
00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:21,762
in your life,
but I miss just us.

250
00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:23,372
Okay, well, then
let's keep it going!

251
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:24,634
[ Singsong voice ]
Movie night.

252
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:26,288
Ooh, yeah!

253
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:27,855
But I get to pick 'cause
Freddie licked the bowl.

254
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,421
He licks, I pick --
That's the rules.

255
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:32,512
And I pick "The Sandlot."Yes!

256
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:33,817
-"You're killing me, Smalls!"
-"You're killing me, Smalls!"

257
00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:36,428
Oh...okay...

258
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:37,734
It's still early.

259
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:39,519
I guess I can get
my work done later.

260
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:40,911
I'm kind of
a night owl anyway.

261
00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:42,434
I stayed up until
the double-digits

262
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:44,219
three times last week.

263
00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:48,745
♪♪♪

264
00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:53,010
♪♪♪

265
00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:57,275
♪♪♪

266
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,713
Please don't be dead.

267
00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:05,936
Oh, thank God.
[ Chuckles ]

268
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,068
What are you doing here?

269
00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:08,243
I'm here to take you
to work.

270
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:10,550
[ Gasps ]
Oh, my God. Work.

271
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,377
[ Gasps ]
I didn't do anything!

272
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,423
[ Gasps ]
That damn "Sandlot!"

273
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:16,164
It always puts me to sleep.

274
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:18,079
I've never made it
to the end of it.

275
00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:19,471
Just tell me, do they
ever get the ball back?

276
00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:21,038
No, no, no, don't tell me.

277
00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:22,518
I can't tell you.
I've never seen it.

278
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,607
What?
It's a classic.

279
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,261
How have you never seen it?

280
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:29,003
You've never seen it.

281
00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:30,787
Mother Raines,
what are we doing?

282
00:09:30,961 --> 00:09:31,527
Don't you have to
get to work?

283
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:32,833
I do.

284
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,486
Oh, gosh, I don't
know what's happening.

285
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,445
This is so unlike me.

286
00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:38,360
Oversleeping,
late for work,

287
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:39,840
I didn't do my homework.

288
00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:41,537
Who am I kidding?
I'm not Julia Roberts.

289
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:43,408
I'm Eric Roberts.

290
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,106
I can't go to work
like this.

291
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,456
You'll be fine. We just have to,
um, smooth out your dress...

292
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:48,979
Yeah.
...and, um,

293
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:50,372
fluff up your hair...

294
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:52,635
and, uh, get you
some shoes.

295
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:53,505
-Okay.
-You need some shoes.

296
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,333
Okay.
Okay, oh, gosh.

297
00:09:55,507 --> 00:09:57,422
[ Grunts ]

298
00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,904
♪♪♪

299
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:03,472
So, Connor, obviously
I've been going over

300
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:06,954
your transcript
and test scores

301
00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:10,435
and...court-ordered
community service?

302
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:14,004
And they are all here.

303
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:15,876
But let's look past
the folder.

304
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:19,836
Why don't you tell me,
in your own words,

305
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,621
what you think
you have to offer?

306
00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:23,797
Isn't that your job?

307
00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:26,190
That's right, Jean.
That is your job.

308
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:27,975
Why don't you tell Connor
a little bit about

309
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:30,412
the college application
process?

310
00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:34,068
Well, based on
my extensive reading,

311
00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:38,725
the college application process
is a lot like the...

312
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:40,161
the...

313
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:42,903
the movie "The Sandlot."

314
00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:46,428
And, um, college
is a lot like an...

315
00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,299
autographed baseball.

316
00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:50,214
It's more valuable to some
people than to others.

317
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:51,346
And then...

318
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,304
A giant dog destroys it?

319
00:10:53,478 --> 00:10:54,741
He does?!

320
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:58,440
The stepfather's
gonna be furious.

321
00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:02,270
Tell you what, Connor,
how about you take this money

322
00:11:02,444 --> 00:11:03,837
and get some Doritos
out the vending machine

323
00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:04,794
and we're gonna reschedule,
okay?

324
00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:06,448
Chips.

325
00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:12,193
I'm sorry.
This is so not like me.

326
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,717
I meant to get up early
and study Connor's file.

327
00:11:14,891 --> 00:11:17,111
I got carried away
with my kids last night.

328
00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:19,635
I-I have never slept through
an alarm in my life.

329
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:22,812
I've never had a boss look at me
the way you're looking at me.

330
00:11:22,986 --> 00:11:24,901
Don't look at me.

331
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:27,034
Look, maybe I made
a mistake hiring you.

332
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:30,515
You didn't! I swear.
It's just a lot to balance.

333
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,126
Work and children.

334
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,084
But I believe women
can have it all.

335
00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:36,783
Look, Jean, I know
I'm a good time,

336
00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:37,827
which may give you
the impression

337
00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:39,655
that I don't care,

338
00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:41,352
but I'm trying to make something
of this place.

339
00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:42,571
It's important to me.

340
00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:44,312
It's important to me, too.

341
00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:47,707
I've just put a non-refundable
down payment a brand-new car.

342
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,491
Boss Amy doesn't care.

343
00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:51,754
Oh, of course not.
I'm sorry I let you down.

344
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,800
I won't do it again.

345
00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:56,803
Okay, I'm ready.
You can look at me.

346
00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:58,761
Nope, I was wrong.
I'm not ready.

347
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,328
I'm gonna look away
from you now.

348
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,116
Yay, Mom's home!

349
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,510
Ooh, outfit so nice,
you wore it twice.

350
00:12:08,684 --> 00:12:11,034
[ Sighs ] What are you guys
doing here?

351
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,819
We felt bad you did
all the work last night,

352
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:14,821
so we brought ingredients
so you can make us lasagna.

353
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:17,301
I left the receipt
on the table.

354
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:20,261
Oh, guys, I really don't think
I can do dinner tonight.

355
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:23,220
I've got to get to my work.
Boss Amy was super mad.

356
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:26,571
And I don't think Friend Amy
works there anymore.

357
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,966
Oh, so you don't want to
play Monopoly with us?

358
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:33,622
Aunt Kim always plays
Monopoly with us.

359
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,276
Set it up.

360
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:40,890
♪♪♪

361
00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:46,200
♪♪♪

362
00:12:46,374 --> 00:12:48,245
[ Insects chirping ]

363
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:57,907
Hey!

364
00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,953
What are you doing?
It's 2:00 a.m.

365
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:02,216
I thought you were a burglar
or a blond raccoon.

366
00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:05,785
No.
I'm a night owl.

367
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,961
What?

368
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:10,224
[ Quietly ]
I almost got fired.

369
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:11,834
I didn't get my work done
last night.

370
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:14,054
And then the kids came over
again tonight

371
00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:17,361
and tricked me into
playing board games.

372
00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:20,321
Now they're asleep inside, and I
didn't want to wake them up.

373
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:23,280
Want to go look at them?
They're ridiculously cute.

374
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,500
I'm good.

375
00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:29,069
Jean,
you almost got fired?

376
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,375
Yeah, it's okay.
I'm doing my reading now.

377
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:35,510
Hey, I think it might be time

378
00:13:35,684 --> 00:13:37,338
to set up some boundaries
with your kids.

379
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:38,992
But I don't want boundaries
with my babies.

380
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,298
Your babies have jobs
and lovers

381
00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:43,039
and pay quarterly
estimated taxes.

382
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,911
You're all seriously
regressing.

383
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:47,391
It's not healthy
for any of you.

384
00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:50,394
I don't care. I want to
regress all the way back

385
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,919
to when they were
inside of me.

386
00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:58,185
Oh, sorry. I said I want
to regress all the way back

387
00:13:58,359 --> 00:13:59,969
to when they were
inside of me.

388
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:02,406
I can still hear you
in the dark.

389
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:04,191
Jean, it -- it feels like

390
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,062
you might be part
of the problem.

391
00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:07,498
And they're taking
advantage of you.

392
00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:09,457
Have you never read
"The Giving Tree?"

393
00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:11,415
All that's gonna be left
of you is a stump.

394
00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:15,245
And they'll come by
and sit on me every day.

395
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:18,596
That was its life's purpose.
It's a happy book.

396
00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:20,860
Doesn't that bother you that,
after such a terrible day,

397
00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:23,166
your kids still expect you
to play games?

398
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:24,951
No. It's fine.

399
00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:27,214
I don't matter.
I'm just the mom.

400
00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:29,564
I have to take
what they give me.

401
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:32,088
Aw, stumpy...

402
00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:36,005
♪♪♪

403
00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:37,702
Hey, good for you!
You're awake.

404
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,966
Oh...same outfit.

405
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:42,142
Uh, twice was
a cry for help,

406
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,231
but three times
might be a statement.

407
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:46,711
I've been up all night
doing my homework.

408
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,975
But I got it all done.

409
00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:50,541
I had a great
Family Game Night.

410
00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:53,109
I got Park Place.

411
00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:56,243
A woman really can have it all.

412
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,723
Are we in the car yet?

413
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,943
No, not yet,
Mother Raines.

414
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,511
But, uh,
let's get you to work.

415
00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:06,427
Maybe -- Maybe run
my fingers through your...

416
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:11,301
Not gonna happen.
Never mind.

417
00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:12,781
I'll let you stick your head out
of the window on the way in.

418
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:16,350
It'll be nature's blowout.

419
00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:18,134
Want to hear my plan
for Connor?

420
00:15:18,308 --> 00:15:20,136
I want to hear your plan
for you.

421
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:25,011
♪♪♪

422
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:26,534
Are you about
finished there, Connor?

423
00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:28,231
That form is just for me,

424
00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:31,365
a way of getting a sense
of where you'd like to apply.

425
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:33,193
You didn't fill anything out.

426
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:36,370
This is just
a bunch of doodles.

427
00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:37,719
What's that supposed
to be, a tree?

428
00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:40,940
Turn it over.

429
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:45,205
Oh, Connor.

430
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:47,250
You've been sitting there
for 30 minutes.

431
00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:48,686
Well, yeah,
that's why it's so detailed.

432
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:49,774
Are we done?

433
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,560
No, we're not done.

434
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,431
Not even close.

435
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,259
Why aren't you
taking this seriously?

436
00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:58,435
Everyone is here for you.

437
00:15:58,609 --> 00:15:59,959
Your parents are spending
thousands of dollars

438
00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:01,612
on a college counselor.

439
00:16:01,786 --> 00:16:03,963
I was up all night, and you're
contributing nothing.

440
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:05,790
Can you just take care
of this?

441
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:09,620
No, Connor, I will not
"just take care of this."

442
00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:12,145
I asked you to do one thing,
and you act like it's too much.

443
00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:14,060
All you had to do was
circle the schools

444
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,496
that you were interested
in applying to.

445
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,541
I'm sick of you expecting me
to do everything.

446
00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:18,542
So?

447
00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:19,630
So, you're not a child!

448
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:21,241
You can contribute.

449
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,417
I just asked you
to fill out some forms,

450
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:24,679
but you don't fill out forms,

451
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:26,246
you don't ask questions
about schools,

452
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:27,334
you don't inquire
about scholarships.

453
00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:29,727
I did not move here
from Iowa for this!

454
00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:35,646
But you know what?

455
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,866
It's my fault.

456
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,216
I created this.

457
00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:42,392
I give and I give
and I give.

458
00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:44,264
Does anybody care?

459
00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:45,613
Does anybody
ask about myday?

460
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,789
Of course not.
Because I don't matter.

461
00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:51,532
Because I'm just a stump.

462
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:55,449
[ Sighs ]

463
00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:58,669
H-How was your day?

464
00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:00,497
Oh, God.

465
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:03,196
I'm sorry, Connor.

466
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,763
I-I-I kind of thought
the University of Oregon

467
00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:07,113
looked cool.
Really?

468
00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:10,116
We could get you
into Oregon.

469
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:13,162
Yeah. And, if you have
another one of these forms,

470
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:15,164
I can fill it out
without the...

471
00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:16,426
tree-nis.

472
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,081
♪♪♪

473
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:22,824
-Hey, Mom.
-Hi, Mom.

474
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,478
Don't you "Hey, Mom" me.

475
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,219
Oh.
Hey, Lane.

476
00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:27,698
Are you cooking us
dinner tonight?

477
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,265
Where's Mom?

478
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:29,961
[ Gasps ] Is she
going to the store?

479
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:31,659
I need Q-tips.

480
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:34,270
You didn't see her sleeping
in my car in the driveway?

481
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:35,619
Don't worry,
I cracked a window.

482
00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:38,144
Because I care.
Unlike you two ingrates.

483
00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:39,841
[ Scoffs ]
What's your problem?

484
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,669
We just came over to
let Mom make us dinner.

485
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:43,671
And I found more laundry
for her to do.

486
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:46,674
[ Scoffs ]
You guys are amazing.

487
00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:47,936
And of course, she'd just

488
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:49,329
cook your dinner
and do your laundry.

489
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,548
Because she'd do anything
for you.

490
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,420
And you'd let her
without even noticing

491
00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:55,509
she's falling apart.

492
00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:57,598
Like, look at this place!

493
00:17:57,772 --> 00:18:00,122
You should see her.
You should smell her.

494
00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:03,082
I had to tuck my hanging
pine tree in her armpit.

495
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:04,735
And I didn't crack the window
for her safety.

496
00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:08,652
I cracked it for the resale
value of my Prius.

497
00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:09,523
What is this about?

498
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:11,351
You!

499
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:13,875
All you do
is take and take.

500
00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:15,442
You need to be nicer
to your mom.

501
00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,574
I-I don't know
where you're getting that.

502
00:18:17,748 --> 00:18:19,315
From her.

503
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:21,448
When I talk to her
and I ask her,

504
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:24,364
"How are you?
How was work today?"

505
00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:26,714
You know, when I'm driving her
to work and back,

506
00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:29,238
which is the least I can do
after all she's done for me.

507
00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:31,893
I mean, after all,
she did raise me.

508
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,504
Oh, wait.
No, she didn't.

509
00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:37,203
That's you.

510
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:40,815
So, why am I the one
driving her to work?

511
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:43,209
Okay, I feel like you're
trying to make us feel bad.

512
00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:45,036
I'm definitely trying
to make you feel bad.

513
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,126
Why?

514
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,605
We're just doing what
we've always done.

515
00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:50,129
My mom lives
for this stuff.

516
00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:51,434
She toasts
Freddie's underwear.

517
00:18:51,608 --> 00:18:54,133
Like "Here's to
Freddie's underwear?"

518
00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:55,743
No, she puts it on air fluff
for 10 minutes

519
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,179
so it's nice and warm.

520
00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:59,834
Why don't you do something
for your mom?

521
00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:01,836
Clean this place up.

522
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,360
I'm going to run her through the
car wash before she wakes up.

523
00:19:07,972 --> 00:19:08,886
[ Door closes ]

524
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:11,280
Is Lane our new dad?

525
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:14,544
♪♪♪

526
00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:16,503
Thanks for coming with me,
you guys.

527
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:19,375
I invited the kids,
but Freddie's busy with Celia

528
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:21,072
and Jackie's back at work.

529
00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:22,639
[ Voice breaking ]
They're done with me.

530
00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:25,338
You're gonna be okay.
Boundaries are good for you.

531
00:19:25,512 --> 00:19:26,339
Your new ride's
gonna cheer you up.

532
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:28,384
-Ta-da!
-Ta-da! [ Laughs ]

533
00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:30,517
What?!
What are you guys doing here?

534
00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:32,083
We wanted to surprise you.

535
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:33,433
I hope you like
your gift, Mom.

536
00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:34,782
It's from us.

537
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:37,393
What? No.

538
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,178
You bought me the car?
It's too much!

539
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:41,397
My babies bought me
a car!

540
00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:43,225
Your babies bought you
a car!

541
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:44,531
No, no, no, no.
We didn't!

542
00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:47,969
We didn't buy the car.
We paid for the sunrooooof!

543
00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:50,798
Yeah, Mom, look.
'Cause if you notice,

544
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:54,105
the bow's on the car,
but it's mostly on the sunroof.

545
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:54,845
The sunroof, yeah.

546
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:56,369
-Oh.
-Oh.

547
00:19:56,543 --> 00:19:58,153
Oh.

548
00:19:58,327 --> 00:19:59,633
Well,
it's still very nice.

549
00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:01,200
I mean, a huge letdown
after you think

550
00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:03,419
you got a whole car from them,
but, uh, still.

551
00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:06,117
It's -- It's -- It's --
It's -- It's nice.

552
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:07,423
-I love it.
-[ Chuckles ]

553
00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:11,297
It's my own sunroof.
So glamorous.

554
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:13,647
Yeah, it's been brought
to our attention

555
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:15,866
that we've sort of been
acting like infants.

556
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,086
Yeah, and we wanted to do
something nice for you

557
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,481
for a change to say thank you
for, you know, everything.

558
00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:23,918
Aww...
It's perfect.

559
00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:25,833
I love you guys.

560
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:27,313
Let's see.

561
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,750
Door open!

562
00:20:29,924 --> 00:20:30,751
Unlock?

563
00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:33,144
[ Chuckles ]
Mom...

564
00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:36,670
Oh, thank you.
Tired.

565
00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:37,845
Door open!

566
00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:38,715
[ Alarm honking ]Oh!

567
00:20:38,889 --> 00:20:40,761
Gosh.

568
00:20:40,935 --> 00:20:42,545
Shh! Quiet!

569
00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:44,155
Quiet! Shh!

570
00:20:50,553 --> 00:20:52,381
Hey, Connor's parents called.

571
00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:55,166
Oh, no.
I just bought a new car.

572
00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,734
No, they're happy
with his progress.

573
00:20:57,908 --> 00:21:00,041
And I'm not sure why this
is a compliment

574
00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:01,608
that needs to be said,
but good job

575
00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:03,436
on changing your clothes
today, mm.

576
00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:05,394
If you let me come back
tomorrow, I'll do it again.

577
00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:07,266
I'm looking forward
to working with you.

578
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,485
And you can put a picture up
at your desk, but just one.

579
00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:11,444
And no babies.
Babies creep me out.

580
00:21:11,618 --> 00:21:13,924
Got it.
I'll bring one from home.

581
00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:16,927
Ohh.

582
00:21:20,191 --> 00:21:21,192
[ Sighs ]

583
00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:22,498
[ Alarm sounding ]Oh, God!

584
00:21:22,672 --> 00:21:24,413
Oh, God! Ohh...

585
00:21:24,587 --> 00:21:26,459
Stop! Shh!

586
00:21:26,633 --> 00:21:28,199
[ Alarm continues ]

587
00:21:30,027 --> 00:21:33,074
♪♪♪

588
00:21:33,248 --> 00:21:36,207
♪♪♪