1 00:00:08,301 --> 00:00:09,427 - John Locke said it was the duty of government 2 00:00:09,469 --> 00:00:11,220 to protect citizens' natural rights, 3 00:00:11,262 --> 00:00:12,764 which he defined as-- 4 00:00:14,432 --> 00:00:16,934 - God bless America! 5 00:00:16,976 --> 00:00:18,561 [laughter] 6 00:00:18,603 --> 00:00:21,314 - Mr. Morris, I have had it! 7 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,274 This next slide better be about John Locke, 8 00:00:23,316 --> 00:00:24,984 and not the character from "Lost," 9 00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:26,652 the 17th-century philosopher! 10 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,741 All right. Fine. 11 00:00:31,783 --> 00:00:33,117 Let's continue. 12 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:34,285 [PA tone sounds] 13 00:00:34,327 --> 00:00:35,745 - Mr. Kim to the office, please. 14 00:00:35,787 --> 00:00:37,121 Your diarrhea medicine is here. 15 00:00:37,163 --> 00:00:39,457 [laughter] 16 00:00:39,499 --> 00:00:42,043 - That's it. I quit! 17 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:44,712 I hope you're happy! 18 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:49,801 - And class dismissed! 19 00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:52,470 [cheers and applause] Thank you. Thank you. 20 00:00:52,512 --> 00:00:55,556 - Mac, you pushed that poor man to his breaking point 21 00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:57,725 just so we could get out of class 15 minutes early? 22 00:00:57,767 --> 00:00:59,936 - Would've done it for one minute. 23 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:03,231 It's about the journey, not the destination, baby. 24 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:04,273 [clicks tongue] 25 00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:05,983 [rock music] 26 00:01:06,025 --> 00:01:08,653 - Hey, pal, you ready for the best weekend of your life? 27 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,321 - It's gonna be hard to top last weekend. 28 00:01:10,363 --> 00:01:12,073 I can't believe I own the Lakers now. 29 00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:14,700 [beachy rock music] 30 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:17,370 [engine revving, tires screech] 31 00:01:17,412 --> 00:01:20,957 * * 32 00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:24,419 - * Cool bros livin' cool lives * 33 00:01:24,460 --> 00:01:27,672 * Cool sunglasses and cool high fives * 34 00:01:27,714 --> 00:01:30,842 * Cool guys doin' cool stuff * 35 00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:33,678 * That makes you wonder if you aren't cool enough * 36 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:37,765 * We're cool dudes doin' cool things * 37 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:40,184 - Oh, sorry, Dolores. [music stops] 38 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:41,686 Hey, we can go to the real beach. 39 00:01:41,728 --> 00:01:43,354 - We can? 40 00:01:43,396 --> 00:01:45,189 - Oh no, I just meant that we would just-- 41 00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:49,986 - * Now don't you wish you could be cool like us * 42 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:53,364 - "To have a beer with a man is to know his soul." 43 00:01:53,406 --> 00:01:56,200 Hm, well, that's enough for tonight. 44 00:01:56,242 --> 00:01:57,410 Time for bed. 45 00:01:57,452 --> 00:01:58,703 - Dad, this weekend was dope. 46 00:01:58,745 --> 00:01:59,912 It's fun to having you home all the time. 47 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:03,458 - Yeah. Not having a job's the best. 48 00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:04,876 I don't know why everyone was always complaining 49 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,794 about the historically high unemployment rates 50 00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:07,795 when I was governor. 51 00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:09,213 - Yeah. I just wish I didn't have 52 00:02:09,255 --> 00:02:10,798 to go to school tomorrow. 53 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:11,758 Maybe you could write a note saying 54 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,217 I have testicular elephantitis? 55 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:15,011 - Come on, high school is important. 56 00:02:15,053 --> 00:02:17,555 Where else are you gonna find the love of your life? 57 00:02:17,597 --> 00:02:19,974 Trust me, you do not want to be single in college. 58 00:02:20,016 --> 00:02:21,517 - I just wish we could keep hanging out. 59 00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:22,810 - [laughing] Yeah. 60 00:02:22,852 --> 00:02:26,606 [ominous music] That would be fun. 61 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:28,983 All right, well, good night. 62 00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:32,737 Oh! If you have a bad dream, 63 00:02:32,779 --> 00:02:34,906 just knock 100 times before you come into our bedroom. 64 00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:36,908 [school bell rings] 65 00:02:36,949 --> 00:02:38,242 - * When I wake up in the mornin' * 66 00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:39,911 * Alarm gives out a warnin' * 67 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:41,996 * I don't think I'll ever make it on time * 68 00:02:42,038 --> 00:02:43,414 [school bell rings] 69 00:02:43,456 --> 00:02:44,415 * By the time I grab my books * 70 00:02:44,457 --> 00:02:45,750 * And I give myself a look * 71 00:02:45,792 --> 00:02:48,878 * I'm at the corner just in time * 72 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,589 * It's all right, it's all right * 73 00:02:51,631 --> 00:02:53,549 * Saved by the bell, it's all right * 74 00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:56,219 * It's all right, saved by the bell * 75 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,763 * It's all right * - Why? 76 00:02:58,805 --> 00:03:03,017 - * 'Cause I'm saved by the bell * 77 00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:04,936 [school bell rings] 78 00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:06,813 - Ugh, it's so annoying. 79 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,190 On top of all of my regular student council stuff, 80 00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:11,609 I got to keep coming up with ways to get volunteer hours 81 00:03:11,651 --> 00:03:14,112 for this stupid Spirit Competition. 82 00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:15,905 But luckily, inspiration struck 83 00:03:15,947 --> 00:03:18,074 in the form of a classic Daisy hack! 84 00:03:18,116 --> 00:03:21,244 - Uh-oh, Daisy hacks are how I started using orange slices 85 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:23,788 as deodorant and ended up with an armpit full of bees. 86 00:03:23,830 --> 00:03:26,999 - Anyway, since I already have to plan the talent show, 87 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:30,253 I figured why not make it a charity fundraiser. 88 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:32,547 That way it counts as spirit hours. 89 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:33,881 Bam! Daisy hack! 90 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,842 - I'll do the talent show. - Oh, good. 91 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,093 'Cause so far only Mac signed up. 92 00:03:37,135 --> 00:03:39,554 - [gasps] - DeVante, no! 93 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,806 Mac wins every year. Even you can't beat him. 94 00:03:41,848 --> 00:03:43,850 - Really? What's his talent? 95 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:46,811 - It's hard to explain. It's like a magic show 96 00:03:46,853 --> 00:03:49,814 that changes the way you think about identity, 97 00:03:49,856 --> 00:03:51,399 but it's not, like, abracadabra magic. 98 00:03:51,441 --> 00:03:52,942 It's like jazz magic, 99 00:03:52,984 --> 00:03:56,070 where the beauty is the magic you don't see. 100 00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:59,115 - So it's like a song? 101 00:03:59,157 --> 00:04:00,408 both: No. - That's not it. 102 00:04:00,450 --> 00:04:02,243 - You have to see it to understand it. 103 00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:07,498 But somehow seeing it will make you understand it even less. 104 00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:09,584 - So it's like a dance? - No. 105 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:10,668 - No, it's not a dance. - We can't have 106 00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:12,211 a one-act talent show. 107 00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:13,588 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 108 00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:15,673 - Hey, babe. So after school, 109 00:04:15,715 --> 00:04:16,674 do you need a ride to my house? 110 00:04:16,716 --> 00:04:17,967 - No. No, I'm good. 111 00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:20,011 I'll see you at 6:00. Can I bring anything? 112 00:04:20,053 --> 00:04:22,430 - Well, my stepmom does love Mary J. Blige's 113 00:04:22,472 --> 00:04:25,266 "No More Drama" line of sage candles and aromatherapy oils. 114 00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,726 - [chuckles] I got you, boo. 115 00:04:29,604 --> 00:04:31,564 - Those candles are expensive. 116 00:04:31,606 --> 00:04:33,733 - Good for Mary J. - You know, DeVante, 117 00:04:33,775 --> 00:04:35,234 meeting the parents is where a lot 118 00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:38,196 of rich kid-poor kid relationships hit the skids. 119 00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:41,449 If you want, I'm happy to do an etiquette montage with you. 120 00:04:41,491 --> 00:04:43,034 - Nah, I'm good. 121 00:04:43,076 --> 00:04:44,911 Nadia's family isn't "Downton Abbey," 122 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,788 they're the all-Black reboot they're doing on Peacock, 123 00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,039 " DowntownAbbey." 124 00:04:48,081 --> 00:04:49,791 They may be rich, but they still Black. 125 00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:52,043 - So you don't think you need my help with rich people stuff? 126 00:04:52,085 --> 00:04:53,503 Pop quiz! 127 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:56,422 What's the next highest denomination after $100 bill? 128 00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,049 - $500-- - [imitates buzzer] 129 00:04:58,091 --> 00:04:59,675 There is a $101 bill 130 00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:01,302 that only rich people know about. 131 00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,388 It's called the Cruella. 132 00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:06,516 [rock beat] 133 00:05:08,059 --> 00:05:09,727 - Hey, buddy. 134 00:05:09,769 --> 00:05:10,770 Would you ever consider dropping 135 00:05:10,812 --> 00:05:11,896 out of the talent show? 136 00:05:11,938 --> 00:05:13,398 - Sure. 137 00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:14,732 Not! 138 00:05:14,774 --> 00:05:16,150 Sorry, me and my dad watched "Wayne's World" 139 00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:17,443 this weekend. 140 00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:19,445 Not! We watched "Borat." 141 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:20,905 They do it in that too. 142 00:05:20,947 --> 00:05:22,657 - Come on, Mac. No one else will sign up 143 00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:23,991 if you're on the list. 144 00:05:24,033 --> 00:05:25,368 Plus, doesn't it take the fun out 145 00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:26,494 of it if you know you're going to win? 146 00:05:26,536 --> 00:05:28,329 - Mm, I guess? 147 00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:30,790 It's kind of like what my boy, Usain Bolt, said the other day, 148 00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:33,626 "Why keep running, knowing nobody will ever catch you?" 149 00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:36,212 Okay. Yeah, I'll drop out. 150 00:05:36,254 --> 00:05:37,422 But only for U... - Aw. 151 00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,799 - Sain Bolt. 152 00:05:39,841 --> 00:05:41,092 I would never do that for you. 153 00:05:41,134 --> 00:05:43,469 - Okay. - Yeah. 154 00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:45,346 - Okay. As you all know, 155 00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:48,099 due to Mr. Kim's early retirement-- 156 00:05:48,141 --> 00:05:49,183 - I thought he quit. 157 00:05:49,225 --> 00:05:50,852 He said, "[bleep] us, 158 00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:53,938 [bleep] our parents, and [bleep] Bayside forever." 159 00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:57,108 - Uh, yes, we all got the email, Colt. 160 00:05:57,150 --> 00:06:00,153 Anyway, I'd like to introduce your new substitute. 161 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,405 He's actually something of a Bayside legend. 162 00:06:02,447 --> 00:06:07,034 Prom king, homecoming king, and godfather to my dog, 163 00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:10,288 may he rest in peace, Mr. Zack Morris! 164 00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:13,833 [playful music] 165 00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:17,795 - Dad. - Hey, that's Mr. Dad to you. 166 00:06:17,837 --> 00:06:19,672 Just kidding! [laughs] 167 00:06:19,714 --> 00:06:22,133 Everyone call me Zack! [laughter] 168 00:06:22,175 --> 00:06:23,968 I'll, uh--I'll be calling you "champ" or "slick," 169 00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:25,595 'cause I don't want to learn names. 170 00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,221 - Are you okay with this? 171 00:06:27,263 --> 00:06:28,973 I don't know if I want my mom at school. 172 00:06:29,015 --> 00:06:31,684 - Yeah, 'cause your mom isn't the clown prince of SoCal. 173 00:06:31,726 --> 00:06:33,686 Me and my dad are gonna run this place. 174 00:06:33,728 --> 00:06:35,229 Hey, dad, think fast! 175 00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:39,067 [together] This is gonna be awesome! 176 00:06:40,276 --> 00:06:41,986 - Hey, I know you said you didn't need 177 00:06:42,028 --> 00:06:44,113 a meet-the-rich-parents montage, but... 178 00:06:44,155 --> 00:06:46,908 you definitely do, and we're doing it now. 179 00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:49,160 - Thank you, Lexi, but I told you, I'm not worried. 180 00:06:49,202 --> 00:06:51,996 Also, I have to leave now if I want to make it on time. 181 00:06:52,038 --> 00:06:54,332 - What--but her house is only 17 minutes away. 182 00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:56,751 - But my grandma's car finally died last week, 183 00:06:56,793 --> 00:06:58,669 so now I have to take the bus. 184 00:06:58,711 --> 00:07:00,797 - Two hours? 185 00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,965 Ugh. Okay, whatever, go. 186 00:07:03,007 --> 00:07:05,009 I guess I'll just do the montage with Spencer. 187 00:07:05,051 --> 00:07:05,968 - Thank you. 188 00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:07,762 - Oh, I actually should go too. 189 00:07:07,804 --> 00:07:08,930 My great aunt's in the hospital-- 190 00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:10,431 ["Rich Girl" by Hall and Oates playing] 191 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:12,016 - * You're a rich girl and you've gone too far * 192 00:07:12,058 --> 00:07:14,936 * 'Cause you know it don't matter anyway * 193 00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:17,855 * You can rely on the old man's money * 194 00:07:17,897 --> 00:07:20,108 * You can rely on the old man's money * 195 00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:21,567 - Bread knife. 196 00:07:22,777 --> 00:07:25,279 Trick question. Bread is for poor people. 197 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:27,698 - [snoring] 198 00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:29,909 - [clears throat loudly] 199 00:07:31,744 --> 00:07:34,789 - Gray geese in the green grass grazing. 200 00:07:34,831 --> 00:07:36,499 - Better! - Thank you. 201 00:07:36,541 --> 00:07:37,959 - [snoring] 202 00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:41,462 - * You're a rich girl and you've gone too far * 203 00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:43,673 * 'Cause you know it don't matter anyway * 204 00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,969 - Damn! You're really late, huh? 205 00:07:51,806 --> 00:07:53,599 Looks good. 206 00:07:54,434 --> 00:07:57,061 - * Rich girl * - * A rich girl * 207 00:07:57,103 --> 00:07:59,397 - You're finally ready to meet your rich girlfriend's parents! 208 00:07:59,439 --> 00:08:00,773 [sighs contentedly] 209 00:08:00,815 --> 00:08:02,859 All right, I'm over this. Wanna go to The Max? 210 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,236 - Not really, my great aunt just died. 211 00:08:05,278 --> 00:08:06,237 - Aw. 212 00:08:06,279 --> 00:08:09,240 [tense music] 213 00:08:09,282 --> 00:08:15,204 * * 214 00:08:18,124 --> 00:08:20,918 - You're an hour and a half late, son. 215 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,174 [knocking] 216 00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:28,593 - Hey, pal. You doing your homework? 217 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:30,386 [both laugh] 218 00:08:30,428 --> 00:08:32,930 Can you imagine? Going to school, being like, 219 00:08:32,972 --> 00:08:35,016 [in nerdy voice] here's my math worksheet, sir. 220 00:08:35,058 --> 00:08:36,517 Hope you like it. - And then the teacher's like, 221 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:39,437 [nasally voice] good job, you got all your numbers right. 222 00:08:39,479 --> 00:08:41,105 I'll call the colleges. 223 00:08:41,147 --> 00:08:43,483 [both laugh] 224 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,026 [both sigh] 225 00:08:45,068 --> 00:08:46,778 - So what are you working on? - Our scheme for tomorrow. 226 00:08:46,819 --> 00:08:48,946 I'm making hall passes to sell at school. 227 00:08:48,988 --> 00:08:50,782 Check it out, it might be my best forgery yet. 228 00:08:50,823 --> 00:08:51,783 - Ooh. - I'll sell 'em 229 00:08:51,824 --> 00:08:52,950 while you distract Toddman, 230 00:08:52,992 --> 00:08:54,285 Just ask him for tips on how 231 00:08:54,327 --> 00:08:56,079 to stretch a dollar at Applebee's. 232 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,747 - These are great. - Mm-hmm. 233 00:08:57,789 --> 00:09:00,541 - But I can do you one better. 234 00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:03,294 Real hall passes, baby! [laughs] 235 00:09:03,336 --> 00:09:04,962 Possibly the only perk of being a teacher. 236 00:09:05,004 --> 00:09:06,589 - Oh, my God, these are awesome. 237 00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:09,592 - Yeah, let's get rid of these. 238 00:09:09,634 --> 00:09:11,052 [chuckles] 239 00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:14,389 We can sell real passes for twice as much. 240 00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:15,973 Split the profits 50/50. 241 00:09:17,016 --> 00:09:18,810 - Yeah, these are way better than mine. 242 00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:22,355 Forget 50/50. 100/100. 243 00:09:22,397 --> 00:09:24,607 - Hey, pal, maybe you should do that math worksheet. 244 00:09:24,649 --> 00:09:25,650 Okay. 245 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:28,653 [moody music] 246 00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:29,904 [door closes] 247 00:09:29,946 --> 00:09:32,573 * * 248 00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:35,326 [classical music playing] 249 00:09:35,368 --> 00:09:38,538 - So DeVante, Nadia said you're in a play at the school. 250 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,415 - Yes! Funny story, 251 00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:42,583 last year, I didn't know if I wanted to do it and-- 252 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:46,254 and then I did it, and now I'm doing it again. 253 00:09:47,505 --> 00:09:49,132 So. 254 00:09:49,173 --> 00:09:52,051 - Your salad. - Damn, y'all got a Geoffrey? 255 00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:58,683 [all laugh] 256 00:09:58,725 --> 00:10:00,351 [forced laughter] 257 00:10:00,393 --> 00:10:02,854 - We call him that too. - Do you know how hard it was 258 00:10:02,895 --> 00:10:04,856 to find a Black, British butler in LA? 259 00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:06,023 [laughter] 260 00:10:06,065 --> 00:10:07,400 - [American accent] I'm actually not, 261 00:10:07,442 --> 00:10:09,986 but they pay me so well, man, I fake it. 262 00:10:10,027 --> 00:10:11,904 - Okay, well, then you'd better be careful. 263 00:10:11,946 --> 00:10:13,030 You turn around, there'll be a light-skinned 264 00:10:13,072 --> 00:10:14,282 Mrs. Coleman in your place. 265 00:10:14,323 --> 00:10:15,366 - That already happened. 266 00:10:15,408 --> 00:10:16,492 I'm his second wife. 267 00:10:16,534 --> 00:10:18,453 [all laugh] 268 00:10:18,494 --> 00:10:20,204 - Okay, Nadia, he's funny. 269 00:10:20,246 --> 00:10:23,207 If only he could make it to dinner on time. 270 00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:25,209 - Again, Dr. Coleman. I am so sorry, I-- 271 00:10:25,251 --> 00:10:28,212 [all laugh] - I'm only messing with you. 272 00:10:28,254 --> 00:10:30,965 I remember being young and broke and taking the bus. 273 00:10:31,007 --> 00:10:32,383 - I always offer to give him 274 00:10:32,425 --> 00:10:34,218 a ride home, but he never lets me. 275 00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:37,013 - Sir, I am not gonna let her drop me off in my neighborhood 276 00:10:37,055 --> 00:10:38,514 and then drive all the way home by herself. 277 00:10:38,556 --> 00:10:41,142 Nadia, you drive a rose gold Mercedes with white tires. 278 00:10:41,184 --> 00:10:43,227 - [sighs] Wait, Daddy, 279 00:10:43,269 --> 00:10:46,230 why don't we just give DeVante the Volvo? 280 00:10:46,272 --> 00:10:48,024 - Wait, give who the what? I--I don't really need-- 281 00:10:48,066 --> 00:10:51,569 - That's a great idea. You can drive it home tonight. 282 00:10:51,611 --> 00:10:52,904 - [British accent] Is there a vanity plate 283 00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:54,113 I might fetch for you, sir? 284 00:10:59,494 --> 00:11:01,245 - The whole thing's kind of weird, right? 285 00:11:01,287 --> 00:11:03,122 - No! You had a problem, no car, 286 00:11:03,164 --> 00:11:04,916 and they solved it with a car. 287 00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:07,293 - Yeah, but I didn't ask them to solve it. 288 00:11:07,335 --> 00:11:09,295 I don't know, it just kind of makes me feel like-- 289 00:11:09,337 --> 00:11:11,172 like a charity case or something. 290 00:11:11,214 --> 00:11:12,632 Come on. Daisy, you're telling me 291 00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,300 this whole thing wouldn't make you feel weird? 292 00:11:14,342 --> 00:11:16,302 - [sighs] Yeah, I mean, on one hand, 293 00:11:16,344 --> 00:11:18,596 accepting a gift you didn't ask for could lead 294 00:11:18,638 --> 00:11:20,390 to a strange power dynamic in your relationship. 295 00:11:20,431 --> 00:11:22,767 - Exactly. - But on the other hand, 296 00:11:22,809 --> 00:11:25,478 this seat warmer's creating a powerful dynamic on my cheeks. 297 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:28,064 - I don't care, okay, I'm giving the car back. 298 00:11:28,106 --> 00:11:30,233 - No, DeVante, please! - You cannot do that to us. 299 00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:32,151 - I--I have to. - I can't go back to the bus! 300 00:11:32,193 --> 00:11:34,362 - We can't go back to the bus. Come on! 301 00:11:34,404 --> 00:11:36,030 - Guys, please! 302 00:11:37,115 --> 00:11:38,991 - Fine! - Whatever, bro. 303 00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:40,993 - Thank you. 304 00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:42,286 Hey, careful, you're gonna spill! 305 00:11:42,328 --> 00:11:44,705 - Victory in the talent show is mine! 306 00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,624 - [gasps, squeals] 307 00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:47,583 - Oh. 308 00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:51,921 - Are you okay? 309 00:11:51,963 --> 00:11:53,506 - Aunt Greta? 310 00:11:53,548 --> 00:11:55,842 You look so beautiful. 311 00:11:55,883 --> 00:12:00,471 [quirky music] 312 00:12:00,513 --> 00:12:03,141 - Whoa, you're selling real hall passes, Mr. Morris? 313 00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:04,642 You're the coolest teacher we've ever had. 314 00:12:04,684 --> 00:12:06,310 And Mr. Dewey has a tattoo on the inside 315 00:12:06,352 --> 00:12:07,437 of his lip that says "slut." 316 00:12:07,478 --> 00:12:09,230 - Well, I can't take all the credit. 317 00:12:09,272 --> 00:12:10,648 It was actually Mac's idea. 318 00:12:10,690 --> 00:12:12,066 - But these are so much better 319 00:12:12,108 --> 00:12:14,444 than the crappy hall passes Mac usually sells. 320 00:12:14,485 --> 00:12:18,197 - [laughing] Yeah, totally. 321 00:12:18,239 --> 00:12:20,199 - Hey, pal, looks like we're running low on change. 322 00:12:20,241 --> 00:12:21,701 Mind grabbing some at the cafeteria? 323 00:12:21,743 --> 00:12:23,494 - Yep. 324 00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:27,915 - Everything okay, Mac? 325 00:12:27,957 --> 00:12:29,542 - Yep. Just having fun with my dad. 326 00:12:29,584 --> 00:12:32,378 - Look. We've been friends with your dad for 30 years, 327 00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:33,880 and we love him. 328 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:36,257 - We do, but sometimes he has a way 329 00:12:36,299 --> 00:12:38,384 of taking up all the oxygen in the room. 330 00:12:38,426 --> 00:12:40,344 - Like when he wore a white dress to my wedding. 331 00:12:40,386 --> 00:12:42,388 I mean, yes, his vows were hilarious, 332 00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:44,307 but sometimes he can be a lot. 333 00:12:44,348 --> 00:12:47,810 - And as much as you love your dad, school's your place. 334 00:12:47,852 --> 00:12:49,270 So it's okay if you feel the need 335 00:12:49,312 --> 00:12:52,148 to put up some healthy boundaries between you and him. 336 00:12:52,190 --> 00:12:53,357 - I don't need boundaries. 337 00:12:53,399 --> 00:12:54,525 This is what I've always wanted. 338 00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:55,902 - Do the worm! 339 00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:59,322 [all chanting] Do the worm, do the worm! 340 00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:01,949 - I think I'm gonna go now. 341 00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,911 - Healthy boundaries, huh? 342 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,537 You been going to therapy or something? 343 00:13:06,579 --> 00:13:09,457 - Pfft, no. Boundaries are a sports thing. 344 00:13:09,499 --> 00:13:12,043 - Hmm. - Therapy stole it from sports. 345 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,839 - Welcome to The Max. Your menus... 346 00:13:16,881 --> 00:13:18,049 coming right up. 347 00:13:18,091 --> 00:13:20,259 - [gasps] - You got a job at The Max? 348 00:13:20,301 --> 00:13:21,677 - I needed money fast and they were hiring. 349 00:13:21,719 --> 00:13:24,180 It's gonna cost me $500 to fix the car. 350 00:13:24,222 --> 00:13:25,640 - D, why didn't you tell me? 351 00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:28,226 I know a great money-making scheme. 352 00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:29,602 Step one, flood the Hollywood Bowl-- 353 00:13:29,644 --> 00:13:31,479 - Why don't you just tell Nadia what happened? 354 00:13:31,521 --> 00:13:34,107 - Because her parents already think I'm a charity case. 355 00:13:34,148 --> 00:13:36,109 I just need to fix this and give the car back, 356 00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:37,735 then they won't ever have to find out. 357 00:13:40,613 --> 00:13:42,115 - That's my jacket! - It's all right. 358 00:13:42,156 --> 00:13:43,366 Don't worry about it. - Hey. 359 00:13:43,408 --> 00:13:44,784 - Hey. 360 00:13:44,826 --> 00:13:46,452 - Can you give me a ride home after the talent show? 361 00:13:46,494 --> 00:13:49,080 - Definitely! I would love to take you home 362 00:13:49,122 --> 00:13:50,915 in a car which is in the same exact condition 363 00:13:50,957 --> 00:13:52,291 as it was yesterday. 364 00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:55,503 - Thanks, babe. Also, sheesh! 365 00:13:55,545 --> 00:13:57,547 I'm loving this fur moment for you. 366 00:13:57,588 --> 00:13:58,881 - Thank you, honey! - Bye, girl. 367 00:13:58,923 --> 00:14:00,967 - All right. I'll see you, boo. 368 00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:02,802 - Please, take that off. 369 00:14:02,844 --> 00:14:06,806 - So you see what Scooter Braun was doing to Taylor swift 370 00:14:06,848 --> 00:14:09,642 was basically what the British government was doing 371 00:14:09,684 --> 00:14:11,602 to the colonists with the Townshend Acts. 372 00:14:11,644 --> 00:14:13,813 And when Taylor took her power back 373 00:14:13,855 --> 00:14:16,983 and rerecorded her masters, 374 00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:19,652 that's what we call a revolution. 375 00:14:19,694 --> 00:14:21,821 [all murmuring] 376 00:14:21,863 --> 00:14:24,323 - I just got chills. - Hm. 377 00:14:24,365 --> 00:14:27,160 - Okay. Well, I taught you everything 378 00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:29,579 on the syllabus for this semester so, uh, 379 00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:32,373 what do you say for the last 15 minutes we just rap, huh? 380 00:14:32,415 --> 00:14:33,958 Anybody got any questions about anything? 381 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,085 Yeah. - Are you seeing anyone? 382 00:14:36,127 --> 00:14:37,795 - Yeah, my mom. 383 00:14:37,837 --> 00:14:39,130 - Is it serious? 384 00:14:39,172 --> 00:14:41,049 - They're married! - [sighs] 385 00:14:41,090 --> 00:14:42,258 - Ooh! - Yeah. 386 00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:43,760 - You used to be the king of Bayside-- 387 00:14:43,801 --> 00:14:45,219 well, I guess you still are. 388 00:14:45,261 --> 00:14:46,554 - [clears throat loudly] 389 00:14:46,596 --> 00:14:48,681 - The school spirit contest is coming up. 390 00:14:48,723 --> 00:14:49,807 How do we beat Valley? 391 00:14:49,849 --> 00:14:51,350 - [scoffs] Beat Valley. 392 00:14:51,392 --> 00:14:52,977 [laughing] Oh, God. 393 00:14:53,019 --> 00:14:55,521 All right, I'ma let you in on a little secret here, Slick. 394 00:14:55,563 --> 00:14:58,357 The Spirit Competition is stupid. 395 00:14:58,399 --> 00:15:00,610 - Thank you! Exactly. 396 00:15:00,651 --> 00:15:02,904 - I don't even remember doing it when I was in high school. 397 00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:04,781 When you leave this place, 398 00:15:04,822 --> 00:15:07,950 you're not gonna remember petty rivalries 399 00:15:07,992 --> 00:15:09,827 or even what you learned in biology, 400 00:15:09,869 --> 00:15:11,496 like, who is the hemo-goblin, 401 00:15:11,537 --> 00:15:13,039 and why does he want your blood? 402 00:15:13,081 --> 00:15:14,415 No, what you're gonna remember 403 00:15:14,457 --> 00:15:16,876 are the friendships you've made. 404 00:15:16,918 --> 00:15:19,712 [students murmuring] 405 00:15:19,754 --> 00:15:21,089 - I have a question. 406 00:15:21,130 --> 00:15:22,840 Are you feeling okay? [PA tone sounds] 407 00:15:22,882 --> 00:15:24,759 - Mr. Morris, please come to the office. 408 00:15:24,801 --> 00:15:27,553 Your diarrhea medicine is here. 409 00:15:27,595 --> 00:15:30,181 - I believe that's for you, Mr. Morris. 410 00:15:30,223 --> 00:15:32,225 [students "Oh!"] 411 00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:34,102 - You're the man! 412 00:15:34,143 --> 00:15:35,353 - Did you forget you and your dad 413 00:15:35,395 --> 00:15:36,896 have the same last name? 414 00:15:36,938 --> 00:15:38,731 - Yes, Daisy, I did! 415 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,569 [playful music] 416 00:15:43,611 --> 00:15:49,200 * * 417 00:15:50,785 --> 00:15:52,995 - Hey, man. 418 00:15:53,037 --> 00:15:55,581 I'm Gil. We've met. 419 00:15:55,623 --> 00:15:57,333 Daisy's Gil. 420 00:15:57,375 --> 00:15:59,585 - Wait, Daisy's Gill, like Ruth's Chris? 421 00:15:59,627 --> 00:16:01,504 - No, I did-- 422 00:16:01,546 --> 00:16:04,257 anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for bowing out 423 00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:06,259 and giving someone else a chance to win. 424 00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:08,261 It was cool of you. 425 00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:12,598 - Wait, I would win. 426 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,767 I would be the best. I would be Daddy! 427 00:16:14,809 --> 00:16:16,769 Hey, Daisy, your Gil convinced me. 428 00:16:16,811 --> 00:16:18,020 I'm gonna compete in the talent show. 429 00:16:18,062 --> 00:16:20,148 Thanks, bud. - What? Gil! 430 00:16:21,524 --> 00:16:22,734 - Then me and Eunice are out! 431 00:16:22,775 --> 00:16:24,986 - [stammering] - Sorry, us too, Daisy. 432 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,654 We can't compete with him. 433 00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,660 - I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. 434 00:16:32,702 --> 00:16:34,370 - Gil, the show's gonna be three minutes long. 435 00:16:34,412 --> 00:16:36,289 That's not a talent show. That's 12 TikToks. 436 00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:37,665 - Maybe it'll feel longer. 437 00:16:37,707 --> 00:16:39,625 You know, Lexi said his act bends space and time. 438 00:16:39,667 --> 00:16:41,419 - But we won't get any spirit hours. 439 00:16:41,461 --> 00:16:43,796 Didn't you read the 900-page spirit manual? 440 00:16:43,838 --> 00:16:46,591 A charity talent show is defined as two or more acts. 441 00:16:46,632 --> 00:16:48,384 Any less than that is a one-man show, 442 00:16:48,426 --> 00:16:50,303 which is a disservice to society 443 00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:52,346 and equal to negative spirit hours! 444 00:16:52,388 --> 00:16:55,308 - Oh, God, what are we gonna do? 445 00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:56,851 - Gah, come on! 446 00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:01,314 - Hey, everybody. Welcome to the 64th annual 447 00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:03,441 Bayside Talent Show! 448 00:17:03,483 --> 00:17:05,777 [cheers and applause] [laughs] 449 00:17:05,818 --> 00:17:10,990 Our first act is going to be Mac Morris performing 450 00:17:11,032 --> 00:17:16,120 "Inherent Wonder 3; Arise." 451 00:17:16,162 --> 00:17:18,498 - Yeah, Mac! [cheers and applause] 452 00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:20,458 [mystical music playing] 453 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:21,751 - All of our acts dropped out. 454 00:17:21,793 --> 00:17:23,461 Would any of you guys be willing to perform? 455 00:17:23,503 --> 00:17:26,339 - Unfortunately, the Birchwood Boys broke up last year. 456 00:17:26,381 --> 00:17:27,507 Then they started a new band 457 00:17:27,548 --> 00:17:29,175 called the Birchwood Boys without me. 458 00:17:29,217 --> 00:17:30,510 - Coach, can't you do one of your dances 459 00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:31,803 you make us watch you do in gym? 460 00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:34,263 - You make them watch you dance in gym? 461 00:17:34,305 --> 00:17:36,432 - [scoffs] I'd let them dance, too, 462 00:17:36,474 --> 00:17:38,226 if they didn't keep messing up the moves. 463 00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:40,937 But no, I am not following that. 464 00:17:40,978 --> 00:17:45,525 * * 465 00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:48,444 - Okay. Listen, this was my fault. 466 00:17:48,486 --> 00:17:52,782 If we really can't find anyone, then I can perform. 467 00:17:53,574 --> 00:17:55,952 I don't have any talent, but I guess I could... 468 00:17:55,993 --> 00:17:57,578 recite Pi. 469 00:17:58,287 --> 00:17:59,956 - But what about your crippling stage fright? 470 00:17:59,997 --> 00:18:02,041 You said you pooped your pants at the holiday recital 471 00:18:02,083 --> 00:18:03,376 in kindergarten. 472 00:18:03,418 --> 00:18:05,336 - It's a risk I'm willing to take. 473 00:18:05,378 --> 00:18:07,547 - Listen, if things are really this bleak, 474 00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:10,133 I can pull something together. 475 00:18:10,174 --> 00:18:11,551 [music ends] 476 00:18:11,592 --> 00:18:14,679 [cheers and applause] 477 00:18:16,222 --> 00:18:18,266 - I have never felt more connected 478 00:18:18,307 --> 00:18:20,435 to my great-grandparents. 479 00:18:21,811 --> 00:18:23,271 - Thanks. 480 00:18:24,522 --> 00:18:26,065 - Cool! Let's go, Zack! 481 00:18:26,107 --> 00:18:27,942 [cheers and applause] 482 00:18:29,110 --> 00:18:30,862 [applause ends] 483 00:18:33,072 --> 00:18:35,366 [cheers and applause] 484 00:18:35,408 --> 00:18:36,826 - You're the man! Yes! 485 00:18:36,868 --> 00:18:38,453 - Oh! 486 00:18:40,538 --> 00:18:42,415 - I can't believe you almost soiled yourself 487 00:18:42,457 --> 00:18:43,833 for the talent show. 488 00:18:43,875 --> 00:18:47,295 - No, I almost soiled myself for you. 489 00:18:48,421 --> 00:18:51,340 [uplifting music] 490 00:18:51,382 --> 00:18:53,926 * * 491 00:18:53,968 --> 00:18:56,804 - This means war. 492 00:18:59,932 --> 00:19:02,894 - See? Wasn't sitting in the backseat 493 00:19:02,935 --> 00:19:05,271 and having me drive you like a chauffeur sexy? 494 00:19:05,313 --> 00:19:07,190 - No. What's going on, D? 495 00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:09,567 You've been acting so weird. 496 00:19:09,609 --> 00:19:10,777 - No, I haven't. [laughs nervously] 497 00:19:10,818 --> 00:19:13,112 Why don't you just get out on this side? 498 00:19:13,154 --> 00:19:14,697 - Why can't I go this way? 499 00:19:14,739 --> 00:19:17,575 - 'Cause I want to see you crawl across the back seat 500 00:19:17,617 --> 00:19:18,951 like a jungle cat? 501 00:19:18,993 --> 00:19:20,078 Mreow! 502 00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:22,330 - What is going on? 503 00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:24,332 - Okay. 504 00:19:28,586 --> 00:19:30,254 The car is dented, okay? 505 00:19:30,296 --> 00:19:31,672 Look. 506 00:19:34,175 --> 00:19:37,136 It's gonna cost $500 to fix it, but I got a job at The Max 507 00:19:37,178 --> 00:19:38,888 and I'm gonna pay for it. 508 00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:40,807 And then I'm going to give you the car back. 509 00:19:40,848 --> 00:19:43,893 - [laughs] Babe, $500 is nothing. 510 00:19:43,935 --> 00:19:45,812 It's no big deal. 511 00:19:45,853 --> 00:19:47,105 - What do you mean, it's no big deal? 512 00:19:47,146 --> 00:19:49,440 - One time I accidentally blew up my dad's boat 513 00:19:49,482 --> 00:19:50,691 doing a gender reveal 514 00:19:50,733 --> 00:19:52,485 for one of my Animal Crossing villagers. 515 00:19:52,527 --> 00:19:53,986 That was a big deal. 516 00:19:54,028 --> 00:19:56,155 This I could just put on my card or whatever. 517 00:19:56,197 --> 00:20:01,119 - So I spend all day stressing, 518 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,080 working my butt off to try to scrape up $500, 519 00:20:04,122 --> 00:20:06,958 and you could just put it on your card or whatever? 520 00:20:06,999 --> 00:20:09,168 - I'm trying to help. Why are you mad? 521 00:20:09,210 --> 00:20:11,796 - I'm not mad. I'm just-- 522 00:20:11,838 --> 00:20:14,424 I hate how everything is so easy for you. 523 00:20:15,550 --> 00:20:17,343 Must be really nice not having any problems. 524 00:20:17,385 --> 00:20:19,554 - 'Scuse me? 525 00:20:19,595 --> 00:20:21,514 You have no idea what you're talking about. 526 00:20:21,556 --> 00:20:25,268 - You keep the car. I'm gonna go. 527 00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:28,187 In 2 1/2 hours when the bus gets here. 528 00:20:28,229 --> 00:20:29,897 God damn! 529 00:20:34,777 --> 00:20:38,156 - And then he said he'd poop his pants for me. 530 00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:40,491 And then we kissed. 531 00:20:40,533 --> 00:20:42,034 - Wow. 532 00:20:42,076 --> 00:20:44,495 I can't believe you had to tell such a romantic story 533 00:20:44,537 --> 00:20:46,748 in such an unromantic setting. 534 00:20:46,789 --> 00:20:51,210 Instead of the luxurious backseat of a Volvo. 535 00:20:51,252 --> 00:20:53,796 - Y'all, I had to give the car back, okay? 536 00:20:53,838 --> 00:20:56,507 It basically ruined my relationship with Nadia. 537 00:20:56,549 --> 00:20:58,176 - What happened? - I told her I was worried 538 00:20:58,217 --> 00:21:00,261 about $500 and she laughed. 539 00:21:00,303 --> 00:21:01,929 Then we got into a big fight. 540 00:21:01,971 --> 00:21:04,140 - Well, she still is a Bayside kid. 541 00:21:04,182 --> 00:21:06,267 I once saw Mac spit a fatty piece of steak 542 00:21:06,309 --> 00:21:07,560 into a $100 bill. 543 00:21:07,602 --> 00:21:08,811 - I was there. - They just don't have 544 00:21:08,853 --> 00:21:10,855 to think about money the same way we do. 545 00:21:10,897 --> 00:21:12,690 And it sucks that Nadia didn't realize that. 546 00:21:12,732 --> 00:21:15,651 - And $500 is a ton of money. 547 00:21:15,693 --> 00:21:17,779 For a lot of people, a $500 emergency would 548 00:21:17,820 --> 00:21:19,614 blow up their life. 549 00:21:19,655 --> 00:21:21,824 - When I broke my arm, I was so worried about 550 00:21:21,866 --> 00:21:23,493 how much it would cost that I didn't tell my parents 551 00:21:23,534 --> 00:21:25,078 for a week. 552 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:26,454 What happened to you? 553 00:21:26,496 --> 00:21:28,247 - My girlfriend gave me a Volvo. 554 00:21:28,289 --> 00:21:30,666 - What? - Uh, my--my-- 555 00:21:30,708 --> 00:21:33,294 my girlfriend gave me a Volvo. 556 00:21:33,336 --> 00:21:35,838 - [laughing] 557 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,590 - This dude's crying because his fine, rich girl 558 00:21:37,632 --> 00:21:38,841 gave him a free car. 559 00:21:38,883 --> 00:21:41,177 all: Boo! 560 00:21:41,219 --> 00:21:44,514 - Uh, okay now! Come on, it's not like that. 561 00:21:44,555 --> 00:21:46,140 DeVante felt like a charity case. 562 00:21:46,182 --> 00:21:47,600 - Thank you, Daisy. 563 00:21:47,642 --> 00:21:49,519 Look, guys, it's not easy dating someone 564 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:50,812 who doesn't have any real problems. 565 00:21:50,853 --> 00:21:52,980 - Okay, hold up now. - [scoffs] 566 00:21:53,022 --> 00:21:55,483 - Right, because rich Black women are notoriously 567 00:21:55,525 --> 00:21:57,360 unaffected by racism and misogyny. 568 00:21:57,402 --> 00:21:58,694 - No, of course they are. That is-- 569 00:21:58,736 --> 00:22:00,738 - Meghan Markle wasn't bullied out of England? 570 00:22:00,780 --> 00:22:02,824 - Serena Williams isn't held to a higher standard 571 00:22:02,865 --> 00:22:03,908 than her white counterparts? 572 00:22:03,950 --> 00:22:05,368 - Simone Biles. - Michelle Obama. 573 00:22:05,410 --> 00:22:06,577 both: Janet Jackson. 574 00:22:06,619 --> 00:22:08,746 - Okay. I see you guys are correct. 575 00:22:08,788 --> 00:22:10,748 As my grandmother would say, I forgot myself. 576 00:22:10,790 --> 00:22:12,500 I am sorry. There's no need 577 00:22:12,542 --> 00:22:14,210 for any more additional examples. 578 00:22:15,044 --> 00:22:17,338 - Lisa Turtle didn't have all her shoe designs stolen 579 00:22:17,380 --> 00:22:19,048 by Ivanka Trump. 580 00:22:19,090 --> 00:22:20,383 both: Yes! 581 00:22:20,425 --> 00:22:22,760 - Okay, Mrs. Zoracki, 582 00:22:22,802 --> 00:22:24,011 all you have to do is tell my dad 583 00:22:24,053 --> 00:22:25,680 that you're the new U.S. government teacher. 584 00:22:25,722 --> 00:22:28,182 He'll say, "Toddman didn't tell me that," 585 00:22:28,224 --> 00:22:30,685 but I'll already have left a voicemail on his phone 586 00:22:30,727 --> 00:22:32,603 telling him that he's being replaced, 587 00:22:32,645 --> 00:22:37,442 using this Toddman voice changer app. 588 00:22:38,067 --> 00:22:41,404 - Oh, well, that makes perfect sense. 589 00:22:41,446 --> 00:22:43,197 Boy, you must really hate your dad. 590 00:22:43,239 --> 00:22:45,616 - Wow. You'd think someone that did 591 00:22:45,658 --> 00:22:47,910 a three-episode arc on "This Is Us" 592 00:22:47,952 --> 00:22:50,037 would have more emotional intelligence. 593 00:22:50,079 --> 00:22:51,330 Of course I don't hate my dad. 594 00:22:51,372 --> 00:22:53,124 - Then why are you trying to get rid of him? 595 00:22:54,292 --> 00:22:57,170 - Look, my entire life 596 00:22:57,211 --> 00:22:59,589 I've wanted to spend more time with my father. 597 00:22:59,630 --> 00:23:02,508 But now that he's here in my space, 598 00:23:02,550 --> 00:23:04,719 it makes me feel bad about myself. 599 00:23:05,970 --> 00:23:09,474 He's better than me at everything. 600 00:23:09,515 --> 00:23:12,060 So as long as he's at Bayside, 601 00:23:12,101 --> 00:23:14,020 I'll always be stuck in his shadow. 602 00:23:16,105 --> 00:23:20,151 - Well, that sounds like a good reason to me, pal. 603 00:23:20,193 --> 00:23:21,611 Let's do it. 604 00:23:21,652 --> 00:23:23,362 - Thanks, Mrs. Zoracki. 605 00:23:24,989 --> 00:23:28,117 [melancholic music] 606 00:23:28,159 --> 00:23:34,290 * * 607 00:23:35,041 --> 00:23:37,752 - Let me guess. You dressed up like an old lady 608 00:23:37,794 --> 00:23:39,087 to prank your son. 609 00:23:40,088 --> 00:23:42,006 - But he pranked my heart instead. 610 00:23:43,383 --> 00:23:46,427 - Have you ever thought about just talking to him? 611 00:23:46,469 --> 00:23:47,804 - Huh? 612 00:23:47,845 --> 00:23:49,931 - You're right. Your way is better. 613 00:23:58,606 --> 00:24:00,900 - Hey. - Hey. 614 00:24:02,693 --> 00:24:04,278 I'm so sorry. I should not have 615 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:05,530 said you don't have any problems-- 616 00:24:05,571 --> 00:24:08,324 - Yeah, that wasn't cool. 617 00:24:08,366 --> 00:24:10,326 But I get why you said it. 618 00:24:12,578 --> 00:24:13,746 Do you know how happy I was 619 00:24:13,788 --> 00:24:15,915 when the Douglas kids got to Bayside? 620 00:24:15,957 --> 00:24:18,710 Before y'all, there were, like, five Black kids. 621 00:24:18,751 --> 00:24:22,088 But now I finally have friends who know why I need a warning 622 00:24:22,130 --> 00:24:24,298 before they decide to shoplift from Brandy Melville. 623 00:24:24,340 --> 00:24:25,883 - Oh, yeah. "The Purge" is based on 624 00:24:25,925 --> 00:24:27,093 how white girls act at the mall. 625 00:24:27,135 --> 00:24:28,511 - Yeah. 626 00:24:28,553 --> 00:24:31,556 But then I ended up doing the same thing to you. 627 00:24:31,597 --> 00:24:33,641 I have privilege and I can't ignore that. 628 00:24:33,683 --> 00:24:34,976 Like, I shouldn't have asked you 629 00:24:35,017 --> 00:24:37,103 to buy my stepmom an $85 candle. 630 00:24:37,145 --> 00:24:38,521 - I would've gotten the sage too, 631 00:24:38,563 --> 00:24:41,149 but the only scent they had left was "Prison Song." 632 00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:42,567 - This is going to be more complicated 633 00:24:42,608 --> 00:24:43,651 than we thought, huh? 634 00:24:43,693 --> 00:24:45,778 - Yeah, it is. 635 00:24:45,820 --> 00:24:47,363 But I like you. 636 00:24:49,532 --> 00:24:51,993 - I like you too. - [chuckles] 637 00:24:52,034 --> 00:24:56,122 So maybe we should just talk about this stuff. 638 00:24:56,164 --> 00:24:58,082 And next time you want to give me a car, 639 00:24:58,124 --> 00:24:59,500 maybe you should ask me first. 640 00:24:59,542 --> 00:25:01,294 - Okay. - Okay. 641 00:25:01,335 --> 00:25:03,671 - Do you want a car? - I do, yeah. 642 00:25:03,713 --> 00:25:04,839 But I want to keep working at The Max 643 00:25:04,881 --> 00:25:06,924 until I can get my own car. 644 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:11,304 So maybe I can just borrow yours until I can. 645 00:25:11,345 --> 00:25:13,431 - We can make that work. - Cool. 646 00:25:14,474 --> 00:25:17,060 - Wow. - I know. 647 00:25:20,813 --> 00:25:22,732 - Hey, pal. 648 00:25:22,774 --> 00:25:23,858 I don't know if you heard, but I'm not gonna 649 00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:25,068 be your government teacher anymore. 650 00:25:25,109 --> 00:25:26,944 - Oh, no, you're kidding. 651 00:25:26,986 --> 00:25:28,738 - Yeah. It's probably for the best. 652 00:25:28,780 --> 00:25:32,283 You know, I've been feeling aimless since the election, 653 00:25:32,325 --> 00:25:33,493 and I just wanted to be in a place 654 00:25:33,534 --> 00:25:34,952 where I felt like a winner. 655 00:25:34,994 --> 00:25:36,871 But Bayside is yours now. 656 00:25:36,913 --> 00:25:37,914 I don't want to cramp your style. 657 00:25:37,955 --> 00:25:39,665 - It's okay. 658 00:25:39,707 --> 00:25:41,709 Hey, green screen moon party tonight? 659 00:25:41,751 --> 00:25:43,086 - [laughing] Of course. 660 00:25:43,127 --> 00:25:44,754 - Okay. 661 00:25:48,257 --> 00:25:51,052 - Mac, your plan worked. Your dad is gone. 662 00:25:51,094 --> 00:25:53,346 - Daisy, you fool. I didn't win. 663 00:25:53,388 --> 00:25:55,473 He was one step ahead of me the whole time. 664 00:25:55,515 --> 00:25:58,518 He was Mrs. Zoracki, and he let me win. 665 00:25:58,559 --> 00:26:00,061 I mean, it's so obvious. 666 00:26:00,103 --> 00:26:03,773 Mrs. Zoracki is an anagram for Zack Morris. 667 00:26:03,815 --> 00:26:05,733 What was the first thing I taught you? 668 00:26:06,484 --> 00:26:08,903 - When you meet someone new, always rearrange the letters 669 00:26:08,945 --> 00:26:10,071 in their name to make sure it doesn't 670 00:26:10,113 --> 00:26:11,239 reveal their true identity. 671 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:12,990 - Mm-hmm. - But isn't it nice 672 00:26:13,032 --> 00:26:14,742 that he cared about you enough to let you win? 673 00:26:14,784 --> 00:26:16,869 - Yes, he's an amazing father. 674 00:26:16,911 --> 00:26:18,413 He's amazing at everything. 675 00:26:18,454 --> 00:26:21,374 There's literally nothing my dad has not done. 676 00:26:21,416 --> 00:26:23,167 And I thought that maybe if I got rid of him, 677 00:26:23,209 --> 00:26:25,920 I would stop feeling like I'm living in his shadow. 678 00:26:25,962 --> 00:26:27,588 But it doesn't matter if he's here or not. 679 00:26:27,630 --> 00:26:28,756 I can't beat him. 680 00:26:28,798 --> 00:26:30,550 I will always be in second place. 681 00:26:30,591 --> 00:26:32,093 - Maybe you just need to do something 682 00:26:32,135 --> 00:26:33,428 completely different than him. 683 00:26:33,469 --> 00:26:35,805 - Like how Tom Hanks is America's nice dad, 684 00:26:35,847 --> 00:26:38,182 so Chet Hanks decided to be Chet Hanks? 685 00:26:38,224 --> 00:26:39,350 - Mm. 686 00:26:40,935 --> 00:26:43,146 - Wait, what's that? 687 00:26:43,187 --> 00:26:46,315 [mischievous music] 688 00:26:46,357 --> 00:26:52,280 * * 689 00:26:54,115 --> 00:26:56,284 - Why did they frame that? 690 00:26:56,325 --> 00:26:58,494 - Wait, my dad lost the Spirit Competition. 691 00:26:58,536 --> 00:27:01,622 No wonder he was pretending like he didn't care about it. 692 00:27:01,664 --> 00:27:05,460 If I can win that, I'll be out of his shadow forever. 693 00:27:05,501 --> 00:27:07,920 - Teacher of the year? 694 00:27:07,962 --> 00:27:10,131 When am I gonna learn to stop racing off 695 00:27:10,173 --> 00:27:12,467 to the framing store every time I get excited? 696 00:27:12,508 --> 00:27:16,554 Spring for the double thick polarized glass, they say. 697 00:27:16,596 --> 00:27:19,640 We can rush it for an additional fee, they say... 698 00:27:19,682 --> 00:27:22,643 [beachy rock music] 699 00:27:22,685 --> 00:27:28,608 * *