1 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,335 [cheerful music] 2 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:11,675 - Morning, DeVante. 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,720 Boy, that's one sharp-looking shirt. 4 00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,143 - Oh, thanks, Mr. T. 5 00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:19,441 - Just out of curiosity, where did you get it? 6 00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:21,057 - I don't want you to wear this. 7 00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,234 - No. I won't, I won't. 8 00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,823 - Don't. - I won't. 9 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,489 I want to, though. 10 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:32,158 Oh, hey, did you really find an abandoned radio station... 11 00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:33,908 - Hey, buddy. I need a favor. 12 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:35,410 How would you feel about getting a tattoo, 13 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,412 but I don't tell you what it is first? 14 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,874 - No, I'm late for student council, 15 00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:40,333 and I didn't finish my homework 16 00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:42,003 'cause I had to babysit my little brother last night. 17 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,502 - I'm not hearing a no. 18 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:46,133 - That was literally the first word I said. 19 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,051 Between home stuff and schoolwork 20 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,169 and all my activities, 21 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,925 I have way too much on my plate. 22 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:53,847 - Well, what if I told you there's a safe, 23 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:57,677 all-natural way to increase productivity? 24 00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:02,481 - Not on my watch! Are those caffeine pills? 25 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:03,980 - Yeah. 26 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:06,782 I use those stolen prescription slips for caffeine pills. 27 00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:08,646 [bell rings] 28 00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:10,453 - Daisy, you can't mess around with that stuff. 29 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,197 Sure, those pills seem like an easy fix. 30 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,159 At first, they're so exciting, 31 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,160 and then it gets even more exciting, 32 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,872 but after that, it gets so scary. 33 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,332 And in the end, 34 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,292 you ruin your girl group shot at a recording contract. 35 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,382 - What? - I get it. 36 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:28,047 I was you in high school: ambitious, stressed. 37 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,508 I hadn't figured my hair out yet. 38 00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:31,627 I only wish back then that I had someone 39 00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,965 like present-day me to guide past me, 40 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,970 but fortunately, you do. It's me. 41 00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:39,813 - You know, I never had a guidance counselor. 42 00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:41,849 Back at Douglas, all they could afford 43 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:44,103 was an empty room with a Magic 8-Ball in it. 44 00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:46,685 - Why don't you come by my office tomorrow morning? 45 00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:49,321 - Thanks, Dr. Spano. I will. 46 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:51,529 - Oh, what have we here? 47 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,659 - No! Step away. 48 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:54,987 - [screams] 49 00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:56,701 [bell rings] 50 00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,411 - * When I wake up in the morning * 51 00:01:58,451 --> 00:01:59,831 * Alarm gives out a warning * 52 00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,829 * I don't think I'll ever make it on time * 53 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,001 [bell rings] 54 00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:04,369 * By the time I grab my books * 55 00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:05,956 * And I give myself a look * 56 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,001 * I'm at the corner just in time * 57 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,504 [bell rings] 58 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,836 * It's all right, it's all right * 59 00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,721 * Saved by the bell, it's all right * 60 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:15,508 * It's all right, saved by the bell * 61 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:18,852 * It's all right * 62 00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:23,178 * 'Cause I'm saved by the bell * 63 00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,016 [bell rings] 64 00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:26,691 [light music] 65 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:30,690 - Guys, I know West Beverly is a tough squad. 66 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:33,704 And sure, we already lost to East Beverly, South Beverly, 67 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,697 and the Beverly Johnson School For Models, 68 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:40,039 but I think tonight is the night we turn it all around. 69 00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,536 - Yeah. - All right. 70 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,998 Now, let's hear a few words from your team captain. 71 00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:45,038 Jamie, get in here. 72 00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:46,371 [cheers and applause] 73 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,036 - All right, listen up. Listen up. 74 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,384 This is our moment, okay? 75 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,210 All that hard work, all those two-a-days, 76 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,756 this is why we did it. 77 00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:58,889 So we could go out there tonight 78 00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:01,058 and make 11 new friends. 79 00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:03,387 all: Yes! - Okay? 80 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,143 Winning does not matter. 81 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,515 What matters is having fun, 82 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,942 spending time together, getting some exercise. 83 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,611 And, most importantly, let's not forget 84 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:15,650 that the players on that other team have inner lives 85 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:19,115 that are just as rich and complicated as our own, 86 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,777 if not more so. 87 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,535 - And it's number 10 on the other team's birthday, 88 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,037 so no one tackle him. 89 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,579 He has to look good for his party tonight at Soho House. 90 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,583 - Great point, Colt, thank you. All right. 91 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,205 Clear eyes, full hearts, full stomachs. 92 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:32,422 all: Full stomachs! 93 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,422 - Has everyone had their milkshakes? 94 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:34,883 all: Yeah! - Let's go. 95 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,013 - Let's go. 96 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,219 [cheering] 97 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:38,548 - Let's make some plans! - Yeah! 98 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,553 - Whoo! - Whoo! 99 00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,755 - Hey, let's go get them, champ. 100 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,016 Just remember, if you believe in yourself, 101 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,688 there's no way you can lose. 102 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,936 [air horn blares] - Bayside loses! 103 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,268 - [yells] 104 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,733 - Hey, Bayside, it's number 10's birthday today. 105 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,364 [all cheer] 106 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:59,662 all: * Happy birthday to you * 107 00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:02,778 - Daisy, I get that you're worried about college, 108 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,616 but you have way too many extracurriculars. 109 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,541 You're president of the Science Club 110 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,039 and the Flat Earth Society? 111 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,462 - There's two sides to every story, 112 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,460 and maybe, just maybe, two sides to this Earth. 113 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,423 - Right. Daisy. 114 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:19,303 Colleges are not impressed by how many random clubs you join. 115 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,012 They wanna know who you are. 116 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,642 - A fun, normal teen who hasn't had 117 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,679 a moment of relaxation since first grade? 118 00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:28,393 - No, you are student council president, a leader. 119 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,805 Focus on that. There's actually 120 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,814 a very competitive summer leadership program 121 00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:34,356 I think you'd be perfect for. 122 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,689 It's eight weeks of seminars hosted by inspirational women. 123 00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:40,696 Last year's keynote address was delivered in unison 124 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,739 by the cast of "Big Little Lies." 125 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,832 - Oh, my god. That sounds amazing. 126 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,498 - And it's a fellowship, which means all expenses paid, 127 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,497 including lodging and airfare to New York, 128 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,829 plus a per diem for bagels. 129 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:55,665 - But... I can't be away from my family for that long. 130 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,132 - [groans] I get it. 131 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,553 My husband's been in Arizona for the past three months 132 00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:03,602 on a writers' retreat, and it's tough. 133 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,596 - It's not about missing them. 134 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,518 My mom needs me to babysit my brother, 135 00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:08,927 and I usually get a summer job. 136 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:12,395 - Oh. Well, that's different. 137 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:16,267 Daisy, I don't know anything about your family situation, 138 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,896 but I do know about being a mom, 139 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:20,902 and all moms want the best for their kids' future. 140 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,445 Just talk to her. 141 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,699 Look over the application together, 142 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,410 and maybe she'll sign the permission slip. 143 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,950 - Or what if, instead, I threw the application into the wind, 144 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,115 and if she finds it, it's God's will? 145 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,334 [light music] 146 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,415 * * 147 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,750 - Hey, Coach. You got a sec? 148 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,455 - Sure. Just taking a little soup break. 149 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,415 What's up? 150 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,837 - Am I the only one who cares that our team is trash? 151 00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,176 I mean, after we lost the other night, 152 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,891 Jamie and the guys celebrated with pizza 153 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:51,602 and wrote thank-you notes to the team that beat us. 154 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:52,943 - Yeah, well, these Bayside kids 155 00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:55,227 weren't exactly raised to have a killer instinct. 156 00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,481 - Well, I was. 157 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:57,983 In my house, we don't celebrate losing. 158 00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:01,364 Like my dad always says, "Pizza is for winners." 159 00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,453 - Hey, my dad was in the army. 160 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,198 He'd turn my room into an obstacle course, 161 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,120 and I had to get a good time, or else I couldn't go to sleep. 162 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,488 - So if you get it, why aren't you trying to fix it? 163 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,906 - How? 164 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,334 You're the only person on the team that isn't 165 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,922 a conscientious objector to tackling. 166 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,537 One person can't save a whole team, Aisha. 167 00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:18,714 - But one person can tank a team. 168 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:21,553 Jamie's pep talks are killing us. 169 00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:24,969 - Look, Aisha. I already made him backup QB. 170 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,890 I can't take away his pep talks, too. 171 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:29,598 It'll crush him. - Fine. 172 00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,469 If you aren't gonna do anything about it, 173 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,136 I guess I'll just have to do it myself. 174 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:36,154 - Hey, don't yell at me. I'm a teacher. 175 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:38,687 Well, not an actual teacher. They-- 176 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,072 you know, gym teachers are in a separate union, 177 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:42,649 which I'm also not in 178 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:45,034 'cause the paperwork was a little confusing, but... 179 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,411 - I gotta go. - Good talk. 180 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:50,409 [light music] 181 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:54,832 * * 182 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:57,672 - Hey, Mom. - Hello. 183 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,669 You have reached Cronket Wireless customer service. 184 00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:01,671 How can I help you? Mm-hmm. 185 00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,843 One second, sir. I have to talk to my manager. 186 00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:05,092 [sighs] 187 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,303 Que te pasa, mijita? Wait. 188 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,974 It's too quiet out there. 189 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,142 Can you make sure that Hector's not doing something crazy? 190 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,641 - I'm on it. 191 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,603 Hector, no! - What? 192 00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:18,153 He poisoned the villagers' water supply. 193 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:21,815 - Gracias, mijita. 194 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,948 Was there something else? 195 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,619 - No. 196 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,117 - Hello, sir. 197 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:34,749 My manager suggested that we do a remote system reset. 198 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,538 Yes, please stand by. 199 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,671 That's not a real thing we can do. 200 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,338 [mellow music] 201 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,248 * * 202 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,796 - Hey, Jamie, can we talk? 203 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,929 - Sure, I'll start. 204 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,256 Have you ever noticed how all M&Ms taste exactly the same 205 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,222 except when they're in a Skittles bag? 206 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:53,522 - Okay, maybe I'll start. 207 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:56,936 Look, we all love your pep talks. 208 00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,016 I was just wondering if they could be 209 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,562 a little bit more inspirational. 210 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,436 Like, you could talk more about winning 211 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,113 and a little less about the stupid touchy-feely stuff. 212 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,952 - Okay. I see what's going on here. 213 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,118 This is because we went to the dance together, isn't it? 214 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,407 - What? 215 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,120 - Yeah, you're nagging me because you had, like, 216 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,870 a really good time at the dance even though we went as friends, 217 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:19,173 and now you don't know whether to ask me out or not. 218 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,667 - [scoffs] 219 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,379 No way. What makes you think that? 220 00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:25,589 - I kind of feel the same way. 221 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,420 - You do? 222 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,675 No, this isn't about us. 223 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,338 This is about the fact that our team sucks. 224 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,139 - Wait, so you're not nagging me? 225 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,470 You actually think that my pep talks are bad? 226 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,386 What about the one where I held 227 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,935 a moment of silence so long we missed the entire game? 228 00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:43,609 - That one sucked the most. They all suck. 229 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,438 - That one was fantastic. - Wow. 230 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:49,404 I know what I said, but I gotta give it up. 231 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,276 You look fly. 232 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:53,372 - Thanks. That means a lot. 233 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:56,238 Hey, one thing that isn't fly: the price tag. 234 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:59,706 $1,200 for a shirt? I almost didn't buy it. 235 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,248 - You shouldn't have. 236 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,921 I got mine on Amazon for 40 bucks. 237 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,130 - Oh, my God. What have I done? 238 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,302 - How could you say that? My pep talks are amazing. 239 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:12,341 They engender a spirit of togetherness. 240 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:16,965 * * 241 00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:21,265 - I bet I can still return it. 242 00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:24,861 Oh, damn it. 243 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:29,988 Does anyone have soda water or a tissue? 244 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:33,412 - See, that's your mistake right there, Samson. 245 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,778 Never let a chick tell you how to do your hair. 246 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,370 Hey, how'd it go with Jamie? 247 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,122 - Great. Well, not great. 248 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:43,584 Really bad, actually, but it did give me an idea. 249 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,995 All we have to do to motivate the team is piss them off. 250 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:50,125 - Nice. - What are you reading? 251 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,843 - Oh, this? Incredible book. 252 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,094 If we weren't in a public school, 253 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:57,005 I'd tell you all about it. 254 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,135 - And now I feel so guilty. 255 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:02,642 I'm, like, totally freaking out. 256 00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:04,686 Are you guys even listening to me? 257 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:05,979 - Yeah. You said something about 258 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,652 foraging crops in Singapore. 259 00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,611 - No, I said I was scared 260 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,701 because I forged my mom's signature. 261 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:13,356 - We're saying the same thing. 262 00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:17,365 - I never used to do bad kid stuff at Douglas. 263 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,579 Oh, God. Am I turning into one of you? 264 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,949 - No, if you were one of us, 265 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,405 you would have come up with a better plan. 266 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,495 Like, what are you gonna do when Spano calls your mom? 267 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:27,381 - Why would she call my mom? - Uh, this is Bayside. 268 00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:29,879 The teachers are so afraid of the helicopter parents, 269 00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,841 they check in with them about everything. 270 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,341 - You get a B-minus, they talk. 271 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:35,973 You encase Toddman's car in a block of ice, they talk. 272 00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,391 The school is insane. - Mm-hmm. 273 00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:39,679 - Maybe there's nothing to worry about. 274 00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:40,933 She's not gonna call my mom. 275 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,354 - Yeah, you're probably right. 276 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:45,522 I mean, you know the school better than we do. 277 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:48,022 Three, two, one. 278 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,904 - Oh, God. Dr. Spano left a voice mail 279 00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:52,281 saying she left my mom a voice mail. 280 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,608 What do I do? 281 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,703 - Well, you could ask us to help you with a scheme, 282 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:57,369 but just know one day, 283 00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:01,077 we will ask something of you in return, so choose wisely. 284 00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:04,205 - Okay, will you help me with a scheme? 285 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,747 - Yes, can I have the rest of your fries? 286 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,131 That is the thing we ask in return. 287 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,878 - Why can you never wait to cash in on a favor? 288 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,209 - I have no impulse control. 289 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,223 - Okay, so what's the plan? - What do you think? 290 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:18,550 We could try Swedish Backpack. 291 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,635 - No, the school doesn't have a boiler room. 292 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,890 How about a Three Finger Sally? 293 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,141 - Not close enough to a body of water. 294 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,563 - Plus, my passport's expired. 295 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,141 - What the hell are you talking about? 296 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,266 - These are classic schemes, Daisy. 297 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,312 - Yeah. If we explain our shorthand, 298 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,436 then it defeats the purpose of a shorthand, 299 00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:34,653 or shor-la-bop-bop, which is shorthand for shorthand. 300 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:38,164 - Okay, we just need to hurry. My mom's shift ends at 4:00, 301 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,328 so she'll probably call Dr. Spano back then. 302 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,827 - Well, if we're not shor-la-bop-bop on time, 303 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,698 there's only one way to go. 304 00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,035 both: The Giraffe's Gambit. 305 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,000 - We'll need an actress to play your mom. 306 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,540 - But I don't know any actresses. 307 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:52,383 Ooh, my aunt was on the news after a raccoon stole her bra. 308 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,840 - Okay. 309 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,261 - Oh. Mm-hmm. 310 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,799 - No, too short. - Mm. 311 00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,142 - No, way too tall. 312 00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:01,257 - Oh, I love her, but not for this. 313 00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:03,104 - Mm-hmm. Would you ever consider her 314 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,729 being a Russian 24-year-old with big falsies? 315 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,097 - My mom? No! 316 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,564 - Okay, well, if you're gonna be so picky, 317 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:13,855 then which one of these women looks the most like your mom? 318 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,150 - [sighs] The only Latina one. 319 00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:18,114 - Well, creatively, 320 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:23,034 it just feels like a safe choice, but it's fine. 321 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,711 [indistinct chatter] 322 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,207 - Oh, no! 323 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,039 It looks like Pacific Coast High 324 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,884 trashed our locker room 325 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,499 right before our game against them. 326 00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:37,666 - Wow, it sure was definitely those guys. 327 00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:39,256 - Yeah. - See? 328 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,050 They even left these printouts 329 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,934 of their school website, which proves it. 330 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,641 - What the hell is this? 331 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:48,311 "Jamie's constantly eating baby food pouches." 332 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:49,441 Yeah, so? 333 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,347 It's just to give my teeth a vacation. 334 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,396 - How do they know about my parents' divorce? 335 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,780 I only told Coach Slater about that. 336 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:59,398 - Well, see if the graffiti says anything else. 337 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:02,156 - "I heard this from not Coach Slater." 338 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:03,448 Oh, okay, good. 339 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:06,411 - Look, I don't wanna say anything, 340 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:09,083 but I overheard their offensive line 341 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,422 talking about how you guys don't even know 342 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,918 the freeway dance from "La La Land." 343 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,420 - What? - But we do! 344 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:19,092 We've been practicing it all year instead of football. 345 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,342 - You know what? Everybody huddle up. 346 00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:21,933 Right now, let's go. Get in here. 347 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:25,348 So they've shown us who they are. 348 00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,888 - Mean boys. - Right. 349 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,811 Now we're gonna show them who we are. 350 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,060 all: Nice men. - No! 351 00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,901 We're mean boys also, 352 00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,806 so you know what we're going to do? 353 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,265 Not gonna say hi to them. 354 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,605 Yeah, we're not gonna tell them, "Nice tackle" 355 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,610 when they tackle us-- if they tackle us. 356 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:44,623 Those jerks have left us no choice but to go out there 357 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,487 and beat them in football points. 358 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,945 all: Yeah! 359 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:52,495 Mean boys, mean boys, mean boys! 360 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:53,750 - Hey, Mr. T. 361 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:56,922 I felt kind of bad about what happened earlier, 362 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,921 so I wanted you to have my shirt. 363 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:02,473 - Wow, thank you very much, DeVante. 364 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,139 Is it also because now that I've been seen 365 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:08,808 wearing this shirt, it's no longer cool? 366 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,428 - Yes. 367 00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:13,346 [bell rings] 368 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,608 - Are you Dr. Spano? I'm Daisy's mom. 369 00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:19,398 - Oh, it's so lovely to meet you. 370 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:20,822 - Thank you for showing an interest in my daughter, 371 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,490 Daisy Sofia Jiménez, 372 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,069 who was born in the Los Angeles County Hospital 373 00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,365 on July 12th, 2005. 374 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:31,329 - Of course. Should we step into my office? 375 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,371 - It's actually a custom among my people 376 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:36,325 that we go for a walk outside when we first meet a person. 377 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,996 - And I feel uncomfortable questioning you on that, 378 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,295 so let's do it. 379 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:44,054 [suspenseful music] 380 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,512 - Okay, now that Spano's busy with your fake mom, 381 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,223 all that you have to do is hide in her office 382 00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:50,183 and then intercept the call from your real mom. 383 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:53,103 - Wait, I forgot. Am I pretending to be my mom? 384 00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:55,693 - No, because then your mom would be talking to your mom. 385 00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:59,517 Sorry, I should have slapped you earlier. 386 00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:05,605 - My name is Jessie Spano. 387 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,025 I'd like to buy a Volvo. 388 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:10,454 [phone rings] 389 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,785 Dr. Spano's office. I am her. 390 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:17,541 - Hi, this is Anna Jiménez returning your call. 391 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,464 - Why, hello, Ms. Jiménez. 392 00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:21,422 I am Daisy's guidance counselor. 393 00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:24,883 As you can tell by my voice, I am white. 394 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,474 - Congratulations. 395 00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:28,179 So what was it you wanted to talk to me about? 396 00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:29,639 - Ah, yes. 397 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,769 The thing I wanted to talk to you about. 398 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:34,846 That thing is... 399 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:37,853 [light tense music] 400 00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:41,186 Um, that thing is... 401 00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:45,242 that your daughter is excelling at Bayside. 402 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:48,198 - Oh, that's--wow. Okay. 403 00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,909 * * 404 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,739 Um, so that's it? 405 00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:53,906 - Yep. Guess I didn't need 406 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:54,953 to call you. Bye. 407 00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:57,246 * * 408 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,330 - It was so great meeting you, Ms. Jiménez. 409 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,876 And I know I keep saying this, 410 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,760 but you really look like that lady from the gum commercial. 411 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:07,468 - Me, with these pearly whites? [laughs] 412 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:23,227 * * 413 00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:28,405 all: Bayside, Bayside, Bayside, Bayside, Bayside! 414 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:30,776 - Yo, I cannot believe we actually pulled that off. 415 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:33,284 - Pulled what off? We lost again. 416 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,286 - Yeah, but only by seven. 417 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,868 That's, like, a normal football amount. 418 00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:39,123 - We kept it close until the very end, 419 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,955 even though it was past our bedtimes. 420 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,421 - And I soiled my pants with dirt this time. 421 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,631 - That's what I'm talking about. 422 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,301 That's what-- I'm proud of you guys. 423 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:49,429 [indistinct chatter] 424 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,221 - I owe you a thank you. 425 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:56,474 - For what? We didn't get the W. 426 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,556 - [sighs] Maybe not. 427 00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,191 But we got something more important. 428 00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:03,148 We got the N for knowledge. 429 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,069 You know, you're right. 430 00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:06,478 It does feel good to get fired up 431 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,486 and actually try to win. 432 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,699 - Well, that's something, I guess. 433 00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:14,831 - Come get pizza with us. 434 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,995 - I can't. 435 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,171 Pizza is for winners. 436 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:26,299 - Oh, okay. 437 00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:28,008 They also have sandwiches. 438 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:31,008 [melancholy music] 439 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:33,551 * * 440 00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,925 - Now, since I'll be trading in my existing Volvo 441 00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:38,892 for a new Volvo, do I qualify for discounts 442 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:42,853 available to Volvo VIP Beige Diamond Volvo Club members? 443 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,556 - Funny you should ask. I saw your inquiry 444 00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:46,686 on stock number 4123, and I was-- 445 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,363 [record scratch] - Hi, I live here now. 446 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,402 [laptop rings] 447 00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:53,446 - I'll have to call you back. - Okay. 448 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,368 - Hey, honey. How is the retreat? 449 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,870 - So rewarding. 450 00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:00,662 We are learning this new form of meditation 451 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:03,825 that involves lying prone on a mat, eyes closed, 452 00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:07,125 inducing a state of temporary unconsciousness. 453 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:10,170 - So, like, a nap? - [laughs] 454 00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,085 Oh, Jessie. 455 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,763 - How is your writing going? You almost finished? 456 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:15,012 - Almost. 457 00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:18,723 Shaman Jeremy says, "Writing is unwriting," 458 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,345 so I'm sort of rethinking my novel. 459 00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:22,733 Anyway, they said I could stay on 460 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,309 an extra couple months so I can finish. 461 00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:27,614 - Wait, a couple months? - Well, yeah. 462 00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:30,689 - No, it's just--I was kind of expecting you home soon. 463 00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,395 You know, you could hang out with Jamie 464 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,235 and take care of your own bees. 465 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:39,080 - So you're saying that you want me to come back? 466 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,579 - No, no, no. 467 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,790 I mean, if it's important to you, then... 468 00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:45,131 - [sighs] Thank you. Jessie Spano. 469 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,876 You are the only reason 470 00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:50,958 that I am able to love myself as much as I do. 471 00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:55,257 - I love you too? 472 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,641 [laptop beeps] 473 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,597 [door creaks, shuts] 474 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,191 [light tense music] 475 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,437 - [sighs, gasps] 476 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:09,319 * * 477 00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:16,162 - What were you doing under my desk? 478 00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:19,527 - I never talked to my mom. I forged the permission slip, 479 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,486 so when you called her, Mack and Lexi said-- 480 00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:25,166 - Oh, wait. It's a Giraffe's Gambit. 481 00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,876 - Wait, how do you know about the Giraffe's Gambit? 482 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:30,167 - I did my fair share of schemes back in the day. 483 00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,261 Who do you think was the original giraffe? 484 00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:34,797 - Oh, because you're tall. 485 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,841 - And I eat a lot of salads. 486 00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:39,505 So why didn't you just talk to your mom? 487 00:19:39,554 --> 00:19:42,314 - I tried. It was too hard. 488 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,179 - You can do hard things. 489 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:47,015 Women need to be able to advocate for what they want, 490 00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:49,862 even if it means telling their loved ones 491 00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:56,528 that they should come home from stupid retreats. 492 00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,781 [sighs] I am such a hypocrite. 493 00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:01,993 - No, marriage is complicated, 494 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,115 and also, I didn't hear anything. 495 00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:07,542 - You're right, marriage is complicated. 496 00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:10,842 And sometimes it requires hard conversations, 497 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:16,047 and I think I need to have one, and I think you do, too. 498 00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:19,051 [gentle music] 499 00:20:19,094 --> 00:20:26,024 * * 500 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:30,266 - Hey, getting ready for the next game? 501 00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:33,073 - How did you know I was here? - Security called. 502 00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:35,688 Said someone was yelling in Spanish on the football field, 503 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,985 and for once, I knew it wasn't me. 504 00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:39,609 - I'm just so mad. 505 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,196 Everybody's at The Max right now 506 00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:42,741 celebrating yet another loss. 507 00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:46,374 - Or maybe they're celebrating improvement. 508 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:49,173 - Don't tell me you're getting soft on me too, Coach. 509 00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:51,247 What would your dad say if he was still alive? 510 00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:54,252 - I never said my dad was dead. 511 00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:59,335 - I'm sorry, I just assumed, you know, since you're so old. 512 00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:00,644 - Come on, I'm not that old. 513 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,257 I still rock Michael Jordan kicks. 514 00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:06,103 Look, maybe you just need to cut yourself some slack. 515 00:21:06,141 --> 00:21:08,561 You accomplished more with this team in the last few days 516 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,731 than I have in the last 15 years. 517 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:14,610 For what it's worth, I'm proud of you, 518 00:21:14,649 --> 00:21:16,989 and you deserve pizza. 519 00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:18,647 - Thanks, Coach. 520 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,315 [pleasant music] 521 00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:23,583 - Check it out. Huh? 522 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,076 - Oh. 523 00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,788 I thought you meant that I should go get pizza 524 00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:28,868 with, like, Jamie and the guys, 525 00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:30,293 but I can-- - No, no, no, no. 526 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,171 That's totally what I meant. Go be with the team. 527 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,958 - Yeah. - This was just a visual aid 528 00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:36,302 for reference, you know, like an example 529 00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,048 of what pizza is. - Yeah. 530 00:21:38,089 --> 00:21:41,089 - That's all. - Yeah--cool. 531 00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:43,554 - Hey, Mom. You need any help? 532 00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:47,135 - I thought you hated folding laundry. 533 00:21:47,182 --> 00:21:50,442 - No, I hate doing laundry. That laundry room's haunted. 534 00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:52,767 There's always a flapper woman sitting on the dryer 535 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:54,482 asking when Prohibition's gonna end. 536 00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:55,902 - [chuckles] 537 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:01,070 - I do have one thing I wanted to talk to you about, though. 538 00:22:01,112 --> 00:22:03,742 My guidance counselor wants me to apply 539 00:22:03,782 --> 00:22:05,742 for this really prestigious leadership program, 540 00:22:05,784 --> 00:22:07,544 all expenses paid. 541 00:22:07,577 --> 00:22:09,787 - Daisy, that's great. 542 00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:14,329 - But it's in New York, and it's all summer long. 543 00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,586 - Oh. 544 00:22:16,628 --> 00:22:18,418 Huh. 545 00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:23,643 Well, I guess I have to figure some things out. 546 00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:25,677 - I know it's asking a lot, 547 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:29,020 but it's really important to me. 548 00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:30,597 - Then it's important to me too. 549 00:22:30,642 --> 00:22:32,272 - Really? 550 00:22:32,310 --> 00:22:35,020 - Yeah, of course. 551 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:36,363 - But you already do so much, 552 00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:38,188 and now you have to pay someone to watch Hector. 553 00:22:38,233 --> 00:22:39,403 - Forget about Hector. 554 00:22:39,442 --> 00:22:41,152 You think he's gonna buy me a house one day? 555 00:22:41,194 --> 00:22:43,534 - Hell no. I'm gonna live off the land. 556 00:22:43,571 --> 00:22:45,201 - [laughs softly] 557 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,200 - Why do you think I work this hard? 558 00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:48,952 It's because I love you, 559 00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:52,163 and I want you to have all the opportunities I didn't. 560 00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:53,575 - Yeah, stupid. 561 00:22:53,623 --> 00:22:56,043 - [chuckles] 562 00:22:56,084 --> 00:23:00,014 - Well, René, at least now you know how I feel, 563 00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:02,006 and if you wanna be in a real partnership, 564 00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:05,088 you should think long and hard about what you do next. 565 00:23:07,804 --> 00:23:09,394 - Hey, did you hear? 566 00:23:09,431 --> 00:23:12,481 We beat Pacific Coast High by negative seven. 567 00:23:12,517 --> 00:23:14,887 - What? - Never mind. 568 00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:16,726 You want some pizza? It's not that cold. 569 00:23:16,771 --> 00:23:19,731 - You know what? That would be great. 570 00:23:19,774 --> 00:23:21,234 - Nice. Look. 571 00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:23,856 Huh? 572 00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:28,411 You all right? 573 00:23:28,450 --> 00:23:30,660 - Not really. 574 00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:32,662 - Do you wanna talk about it, or... 575 00:23:32,704 --> 00:23:37,544 - Not really, but this is helping. 576 00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:39,634 * * 577 00:23:39,669 --> 00:23:41,379 - Hey, guys. What are you doing here? 578 00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:42,961 It's Friday night. Come on. 579 00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:44,836 Let's go clubbing or something. 580 00:23:44,883 --> 00:23:47,843 Look, I'm rocking my new shirt. 581 00:23:47,886 --> 00:23:50,256 - [yelling] - Whoa! 582 00:23:52,390 --> 00:23:55,350 - So you guys wanna call the Lyft, or should I? 583 00:23:55,393 --> 00:23:58,313 [upbeat music] 584 00:23:58,355 --> 00:24:05,315 * *