1
00:00:02,110 --> 00:00:05,548
(light string music playing)
2
00:00:08,517 --> 00:00:10,748
(person groaning)
3
00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:14,018
Speaker: I used to think
my legacy lay in the arts.
4
00:00:15,256 --> 00:00:18,422
In music, to be precise.
5
00:00:18,423 --> 00:00:21,930
My brother? Ugh, he
was a prodigy on the violin.
6
00:00:22,430 --> 00:00:25,596
Everything came easily to him.
7
00:00:25,597 --> 00:00:28,633
Me? I had to work at things.
8
00:00:28,634 --> 00:00:31,102
(gasps) Did you hear that?
9
00:00:31,103 --> 00:00:33,209
Just the tiniest little bit
of fourth finger vibrato.
10
00:00:33,508 --> 00:00:35,339
What do you want from me?
11
00:00:35,340 --> 00:00:39,648
"Blackbeard Breaks
Ned Low's Record."
12
00:00:42,718 --> 00:00:44,282
(whispers) I'm Ned.
13
00:00:44,283 --> 00:00:45,951
I told you...
14
00:00:45,952 --> 00:00:48,992
I haven't seen
Blackbeard's ship.
15
00:00:49,491 --> 00:00:51,360
(screams)
16
00:00:52,526 --> 00:00:55,564
I never did become
a renowned violinist.
17
00:00:56,865 --> 00:01:01,737
My record... that was my legacy.
18
00:01:03,137 --> 00:01:07,576
Eighty-eight
consecutive raids at sea.
19
00:01:08,676 --> 00:01:10,308
(whispers) And he
took that from me.
20
00:01:10,309 --> 00:01:12,015
He took it.
21
00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:15,851
I don't know where
Blackbeard is.
22
00:01:16,517 --> 00:01:20,952
No, no, no, no, no. I-I've
been tracking him for ages.
23
00:01:20,953 --> 00:01:23,354
I know exactly where he is.
24
00:01:23,355 --> 00:01:27,125
- Why are you doing this?
- (whispers) Because, my love...
25
00:01:27,126 --> 00:01:29,665
I'm still a musician at heart.
26
00:01:29,864 --> 00:01:32,535
- (sizzling) -
(lighthouse keeper wails)
27
00:01:33,434 --> 00:01:35,900
God, that was a beautiful pitch.
28
00:01:35,901 --> 00:01:37,974
That was really nice.
29
00:01:39,508 --> 00:01:41,144
(screaming)
30
00:01:43,878 --> 00:01:45,876
- (normal) Let's loosen up.
- (lighthouse keeper wailing)
31
00:01:45,877 --> 00:01:48,579
- A bit more from the diaphragm.
- (sizzling)
32
00:01:48,580 --> 00:01:50,982
- Less from the throat.
- (deeper wailing)
33
00:01:50,983 --> 00:01:54,958
(gasps) You have a
lovely, natural instrument.
34
00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:57,927
(birds cawing)
35
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,998
(pensive music playing)
36
00:02:05,767 --> 00:02:07,236
(thundering)
37
00:02:14,209 --> 00:02:17,408
Oh, look, it's scowl-y face.
38
00:02:17,409 --> 00:02:20,917
Oh, look... you're
talkin' to me again.
39
00:02:21,917 --> 00:02:23,648
Yeah.
40
00:02:23,649 --> 00:02:26,355
Sorry, I'm a bit drunk, I
thought you were Roach.
41
00:02:28,089 --> 00:02:31,290
Jesus. You're really
puttin' that away, aren't you?
42
00:02:31,291 --> 00:02:33,124
Yes, I am.
43
00:02:33,125 --> 00:02:34,792
Somethin's wrong.
44
00:02:34,793 --> 00:02:37,666
Feels like a storm is
coming, but I can't see it.
45
00:02:39,434 --> 00:02:41,199
Or maybe you're
just a mopey twat
46
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,206
and there isn't a fuckin' storm.
47
00:02:50,679 --> 00:02:52,348
(sighs)
48
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:56,648
Sorry about your leg.
49
00:02:56,649 --> 00:02:58,650
♪
50
00:02:58,651 --> 00:03:00,356
Fuck off.
51
00:03:01,823 --> 00:03:03,058
Ta-da!
52
00:03:03,690 --> 00:03:07,391
I put all of your remaining
treasure in one room.
53
00:03:07,392 --> 00:03:08,426
It was all over the place,
54
00:03:08,427 --> 00:03:10,094
and I was tripping over it.
55
00:03:10,095 --> 00:03:12,000
And some of it's quite ugly.
56
00:03:12,499 --> 00:03:15,737
Excellent. A reminder
of all my guilt.
57
00:03:16,037 --> 00:03:17,706
A guilt room.
58
00:03:19,173 --> 00:03:21,844
Well, maybe you could
do something good with it.
59
00:03:23,339 --> 00:03:26,810
I'm inside a snake, man!
I'm inside of a fuckin' snake.
60
00:03:26,811 --> 00:03:29,147
And I'm like, I feel like a
snake, move like a snake,
61
00:03:29,148 --> 00:03:31,782
ya know, and I get a knife
and I just stab the fucker.
62
00:03:31,783 --> 00:03:35,119
And then I... (growls) And then I,
like, crawl out, and then they're like,
63
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:38,760
"Surprise!" (laughing)
'Cause it was my birthday.
64
00:03:39,293 --> 00:03:41,992
And then we just spit-roasted
that snake, it was delicious.
65
00:03:41,993 --> 00:03:45,296
(chuckles) So, um, (clears
throat) what do you guys do
66
00:03:45,297 --> 00:03:46,498
for parties around here?
67
00:03:46,499 --> 00:03:47,836
- Uh...
- Oh!
68
00:03:48,736 --> 00:03:50,335
Oh, yeah. We, we rage.
69
00:03:50,336 --> 00:03:52,370
- (laughs) I thought you might.
- Oluwande: Yeah.
70
00:03:52,371 --> 00:03:54,440
- Roach: Yeah, we rage!
- Fuckin' rage.
71
00:03:54,441 --> 00:03:55,807
- D-Do you?
- Yeah.
72
00:03:55,808 --> 00:03:57,476
Oluwande: Heavy
on the rage. (chuckles)
73
00:03:57,477 --> 00:03:59,082
Hm, do we?
74
00:03:59,915 --> 00:04:02,679
I haven't crawled out
of a snake in years.
75
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,650
Yeah, guys. It's been
kinda slow around here.
76
00:04:05,651 --> 00:04:08,552
I mean, last night, we
just reorganized furniture.
77
00:04:08,553 --> 00:04:10,687
Yeah, well, improvement
in the flow is undeniable.
78
00:04:10,688 --> 00:04:13,324
- Have you seen this place?
- (crewmembers agreeing)
79
00:04:13,325 --> 00:04:15,827
Yeah, but I'll be honest. We
are a bit boring now, aren't we?
80
00:04:15,828 --> 00:04:17,729
- Ugh.
- Yeah, yeah, that's right.
81
00:04:17,730 --> 00:04:20,064
Well, it's a happy
coincidence then
82
00:04:20,065 --> 00:04:22,701
that today is
Calypso's birthday.
83
00:04:22,702 --> 00:04:24,801
- (gasps)
- Oh, yeah!
84
00:04:24,802 --> 00:04:27,905
- Yeah! Shit, that's today?
- Yeah, it certainly is.
85
00:04:27,906 --> 00:04:30,141
The most holy day in
the Calypsian calendar.
86
00:04:30,142 --> 00:04:32,476
And seeing as many of
us here are Calypsish...
87
00:04:32,477 --> 00:04:33,544
Oh, yeah, I'm Calypsish.
88
00:04:33,545 --> 00:04:35,212
You're Calypsish,
you're Calypsish.
89
00:04:35,213 --> 00:04:36,514
Archie: Wait, wait, wait.
90
00:04:36,515 --> 00:04:39,383
Is Calypso's birthday
something that you guys
91
00:04:39,384 --> 00:04:43,426
just made up, just invented
so that we can have a party?
92
00:04:45,393 --> 00:04:48,026
- (Oluwande chuckles)
- Correctamundo.
93
00:04:48,027 --> 00:04:50,061
(all cheering)
94
00:04:50,062 --> 00:04:52,430
- Yeah, it is!
- Ay, Calypso birthday!
95
00:04:52,431 --> 00:04:55,066
You can buy new
clothes. Or how's this?
96
00:04:55,067 --> 00:04:59,537
Give a lot of it away
to those less fortunate.
97
00:04:59,538 --> 00:05:01,205
- (footsteps approach)
- Yeah.
98
00:05:01,206 --> 00:05:03,374
Hey, uh, Captains,
99
00:05:03,375 --> 00:05:05,710
um, your crew were just
wondering if we're doin' anything
100
00:05:05,711 --> 00:05:08,179
- for Calypso's birthday.
- Calypso's birthday?
101
00:05:08,180 --> 00:05:09,948
Correct. It's a
day of observance.
102
00:05:09,949 --> 00:05:11,917
By far, the holiest
of days in our culture.
103
00:05:11,918 --> 00:05:14,185
Traditionally
celebrated by a big bash.
104
00:05:14,186 --> 00:05:16,855
Well, we... Definitely.
We should, um...
105
00:05:16,856 --> 00:05:19,462
Yes. We'll... I'll,
I'll get onto that.
106
00:05:20,161 --> 00:05:21,526
Have fun.
107
00:05:21,527 --> 00:05:23,031
(whispers) We should do that.
108
00:05:23,730 --> 00:05:27,265
Yeah, uh, so they're
just tryin' to Calypso you.
109
00:05:27,266 --> 00:05:32,304
Um, it's totally just a huge
made-up excuse for a big party.
110
00:05:32,305 --> 00:05:34,138
Oh.
111
00:05:34,139 --> 00:05:35,206
Well, you know what?
112
00:05:35,207 --> 00:05:36,775
You could use this loot
113
00:05:36,776 --> 00:05:38,577
to pay for a big bash.
114
00:05:38,578 --> 00:05:41,050
Turn poison into positivity!
115
00:05:43,618 --> 00:05:46,049
Poison into positivity.
116
00:05:46,050 --> 00:05:49,788
Prince Ricky Banes: The evils of
piracy have plagued our nations
117
00:05:49,789 --> 00:05:53,925
and our communities
for long enough.
118
00:05:53,926 --> 00:05:57,796
Indeed, I was minding
my own business
119
00:05:57,797 --> 00:05:59,735
and I was beset by brigands.
120
00:06:00,635 --> 00:06:02,538
You?! You robbed me?
121
00:06:03,104 --> 00:06:09,173
And those 20-something
brigands... took my nose.
122
00:06:09,174 --> 00:06:10,908
- (Prince Ricky
screams) - (slices)
123
00:06:10,909 --> 00:06:14,946
So, it's up to us fine gentlemen
124
00:06:14,947 --> 00:06:20,284
to stand up against
this modern piracy
125
00:06:20,285 --> 00:06:22,521
and stay vigilant.
126
00:06:22,522 --> 00:06:24,423
(applause)
127
00:06:24,424 --> 00:06:26,495
(indistinct chatter)
128
00:06:29,297 --> 00:06:31,296
Remarkable speech, Prince.
129
00:06:31,297 --> 00:06:34,370
This was delivered by
messenger this morning.
130
00:06:40,909 --> 00:06:42,835
Oh.
131
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,337
(lute music plays)
132
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:47,706
Stede Bonnet: Alright.
Party supplies on Ed.
133
00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:50,982
- Jim: We're gonna need flowers and lanterns.
- (excited chatter)
134
00:06:50,983 --> 00:06:52,383
Fang: Ooh, we're
gonna need a goat.
135
00:06:52,384 --> 00:06:54,618
And some rum. A
rum-drinking goat!
136
00:06:54,619 --> 00:06:56,387
So, what do we
think Calypso drinks?
137
00:06:56,388 --> 00:06:58,289
Bearing in mind
Blackbeard is payin', so let's...
138
00:06:58,290 --> 00:07:02,526
Oh, whoa, whoa. Then I
reckon she drinks a fine brandy.
139
00:07:02,527 --> 00:07:04,329
- One worthy of a goddess.
- Yeah.
140
00:07:04,330 --> 00:07:05,197
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
141
00:07:05,198 --> 00:07:06,532
We've only got rum.
142
00:07:06,533 --> 00:07:07,803
One type.
143
00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:10,273
Cheap.
144
00:07:11,739 --> 00:07:13,709
- Well, we'll take that, then. Yeah.
- Yep, yep.
145
00:07:14,341 --> 00:07:16,074
Blackbeard: Hey, urchins,
I'm gonna change your lives.
146
00:07:16,075 --> 00:07:18,379
Here's 50,000 doubloons.
147
00:07:18,845 --> 00:07:21,050
You know how long it was
till I had that kinda money?
148
00:07:23,946 --> 00:07:25,821
A fuckin' long time.
149
00:07:26,688 --> 00:07:28,724
And here is a knife.
150
00:07:29,256 --> 00:07:31,990
You stab anyone who
comes near that money, okay?
151
00:07:31,991 --> 00:07:33,362
I want a knife.
152
00:07:33,728 --> 00:07:35,298
Yeah, you can have a knife, too.
153
00:07:36,430 --> 00:07:38,662
Pro tip here: When
you're killing someone,
154
00:07:38,663 --> 00:07:41,060
okay, don't bother
stabbing, alright?
155
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,200
Chances are they'll survive.
156
00:07:42,201 --> 00:07:43,401
You wanna slash
157
00:07:43,402 --> 00:07:45,202
big, deep slashes side to side
158
00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:46,742
so the guts all fall out.
159
00:07:47,543 --> 00:07:48,740
Hey.
160
00:07:48,741 --> 00:07:50,709
Did I see you offer
161
00:07:50,710 --> 00:07:53,611
both these children knives...
162
00:07:53,612 --> 00:07:55,379
and a big bag of money?
163
00:07:55,380 --> 00:07:57,883
Yeah. Yeah, well, I just
164
00:07:57,884 --> 00:08:00,184
thought I'd give these
filthy, little gutter rats,
165
00:08:00,185 --> 00:08:02,587
uh, the head start
that I never had.
166
00:08:02,588 --> 00:08:04,889
- Poison into positivity.
- Ahh.
167
00:08:04,890 --> 00:08:05,924
Are you a pirate?
168
00:08:05,925 --> 00:08:07,391
- No, we're not pirates.
- No.
169
00:08:07,392 --> 00:08:09,393
And you won't be pirates either.
170
00:08:09,394 --> 00:08:11,462
Okay? We own an inn.
171
00:08:11,463 --> 00:08:13,001
Yes, of course.
How can I forget?
172
00:08:13,634 --> 00:08:15,066
Blackbeard: Don't
pirate, kids. Alright?
173
00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:16,968
Stede: Agree. Don't be
pirates. Don't be pirates.
174
00:08:16,969 --> 00:08:20,476
(tense music playing)
175
00:08:21,142 --> 00:08:23,812
I see you've
received our invitation.
176
00:08:24,278 --> 00:08:28,550
Hm. That's a very interesting
way to describe blackmail.
177
00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:31,650
Do we like the term "blackmail"?
178
00:08:31,651 --> 00:08:33,318
(chuckles) It's so unpleasant.
179
00:08:33,319 --> 00:08:34,986
Can we just say that I...
180
00:08:34,987 --> 00:08:37,693
(deep inhale) I see you...
181
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:39,795
clearly.
182
00:08:40,329 --> 00:08:42,097
Ah... Ah.
183
00:08:42,497 --> 00:08:43,727
Left a bit of yourself behind
184
00:08:43,728 --> 00:08:46,931
- at Spanish Jackie's, eh?
- Auntie, please.
185
00:08:46,932 --> 00:08:48,599
He's been through enough.
186
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,229
He's disfigured
himself as a result
187
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,837
of a business deal gone wrong.
188
00:08:51,838 --> 00:08:53,809
No, no, we don't
need to pile on.
189
00:08:54,341 --> 00:09:00,579
I would be very careful who
you trifle with, Zheng Yi Sao.
190
00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:03,347
'Cause I'm a minor prince.
191
00:09:03,348 --> 00:09:05,616
- And that's why we're blackmailing you.
- Ah.
192
00:09:05,617 --> 00:09:07,984
Again, I don't like
that term. (chuckles)
193
00:09:07,985 --> 00:09:12,284
"Minor prince." "Pirate queen
who bent China to her will."
194
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,192
These are, these
are just labels.
195
00:09:14,193 --> 00:09:16,861
I don't wanna talk
about who you are.
196
00:09:16,862 --> 00:09:21,298
(laughs) I wanna talk
about... who you could be.
197
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,935
- (Zheng pouring tea)
- Prince Ricky: Hm.
198
00:09:23,936 --> 00:09:27,504
("Wasting My Time"
by Harry Mosco playing)
199
00:09:27,505 --> 00:09:29,974
Roach: Here we go,
guys. The snacks are ready.
200
00:09:29,975 --> 00:09:32,515
(muffled music playing)
201
00:09:35,349 --> 00:09:38,387
- What's all this, then?
- I'm working on my look.
202
00:09:38,987 --> 00:09:40,223
Look?
203
00:09:41,590 --> 00:09:43,258
The fuck's a look?
204
00:09:43,590 --> 00:09:46,623
Well, tonight I'm going as
the Sea Goddess Calypso.
205
00:09:46,624 --> 00:09:51,700
I'm thinking dramatic
eyes, dramatic lips.
206
00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:54,032
Drama on the cheeks.
207
00:09:54,033 --> 00:09:56,635
♪
208
00:09:56,636 --> 00:09:59,708
(crew cheering, laughing)
209
00:10:01,275 --> 00:10:05,709
Now, it's imperative you do not
sip until Calypso herself decrees.
210
00:10:05,710 --> 00:10:09,747
- Roach: Ah! Come on!
- May the goddess have mercy on this thirsty little guy.
211
00:10:09,748 --> 00:10:12,655
- (laughter)
- Pirate: Woo!
212
00:10:13,388 --> 00:10:15,453
(laughs) What is this?
213
00:10:15,454 --> 00:10:17,823
Archie: Ah! Welcome,
ye party animules!
214
00:10:17,824 --> 00:10:19,357
- Oh, thank you.
- For you!
215
00:10:19,358 --> 00:10:20,591
Hang on, that's my tub!
216
00:10:20,592 --> 00:10:23,361
Is it? Oh, yeah.
Sorry, I'm new here.
217
00:10:23,362 --> 00:10:26,397
The moving of the tub,
it's a sacred tradition!
218
00:10:26,398 --> 00:10:30,001
- Yeah, this guy's devout as fuck!
- Just go with it.
219
00:10:30,002 --> 00:10:32,604
Fine. As long as it's
returned without a dent.
220
00:10:32,605 --> 00:10:33,771
- Jim: Gah!
- (Stede yelps)
221
00:10:33,772 --> 00:10:35,239
Do you feel that?
222
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,909
- (Jim speaks Spanish)
- (Archie exclaiming)
223
00:10:37,910 --> 00:10:40,378
Roach: Oh! She must be near!
224
00:10:40,379 --> 00:10:42,847
- (indistinct
yelling) - (laughter)
225
00:10:42,848 --> 00:10:44,883
Wee John Feeney:
Greetings, mortals.
226
00:10:44,884 --> 00:10:48,014
- All: Ooh!
- Whoa! Is that Wee John?
227
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,954
'Tis I, Calypso.
228
00:10:49,955 --> 00:10:52,790
(crewmembers vocalizing)
229
00:10:52,791 --> 00:10:55,461
Raise your motherfucking glasses
230
00:10:55,462 --> 00:10:58,264
or feel my absolute wrath.
231
00:10:58,265 --> 00:11:00,298
(all cheering)
232
00:11:00,299 --> 00:11:04,068
- (Wee John laughing)
- (indistinct yelling)
233
00:11:04,069 --> 00:11:06,037
(sings) ♪ La, la ♪
234
00:11:06,038 --> 00:11:08,310
Yeah, just play that.
Just follow my beat.
235
00:11:08,776 --> 00:11:11,814
(Frenchie playing "La
Vie En Rose" on lute)
236
00:11:13,614 --> 00:11:18,082
(sings) ♪ Hold me
close and hold me fast ♪
237
00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:21,286
♪ The magic spell you cast ♪
238
00:11:21,287 --> 00:11:26,091
♪ This is la vie en rose ♪
239
00:11:26,092 --> 00:11:30,261
♪ When you kiss
me, heaven sighs ♪
240
00:11:30,262 --> 00:11:33,832
- ♪ And though I close my
eyes ♪ - (Wee John sighs)
241
00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:37,873
♪ I see la vie en rose ♪
242
00:11:38,172 --> 00:11:41,505
- ♪ When you press me to your
heart... ♪ - What's happening right now?
243
00:11:41,506 --> 00:11:44,047
- I think you did it.
- Did what?
244
00:11:45,046 --> 00:11:48,417
Turned the poison
into positivity.
245
00:11:50,051 --> 00:11:52,083
♪ And when you speak ♪
246
00:11:52,084 --> 00:11:55,357
- ♪ Angels sing from
above ♪ - Come on.
247
00:11:56,023 --> 00:12:02,527
♪ Everyday words
seem to turn into love ♪
248
00:12:02,528 --> 00:12:04,429
- (loud bang)
- (all scream)
249
00:12:04,430 --> 00:12:06,264
Stede: Oh, God!
We're under attack!
250
00:12:06,265 --> 00:12:08,534
- (indistinct yelling)
- (cannon fire)
251
00:12:08,535 --> 00:12:11,474
- (screaming)
- Get down!
252
00:12:12,006 --> 00:12:14,005
Roach: What's
happening?! Is it fireworks?!
253
00:12:14,006 --> 00:12:18,470
Good evening, doomed
crew of "The Revenge."
254
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:21,250
(sighs) Ned Low.
Fuckin' perfect.
255
00:12:22,049 --> 00:12:24,816
Oh, I'm going to torture
you all, by the way.
256
00:12:24,817 --> 00:12:27,890
(tense music playing)
257
00:12:28,389 --> 00:12:31,322
Ned Low: Ya know,
uh, we've never met.
258
00:12:31,323 --> 00:12:33,491
But there's a reason for that.
259
00:12:33,492 --> 00:12:35,827
Because I only hang
out with cool pirates.
260
00:12:35,828 --> 00:12:40,565
No. The reason is that
I have always thought
261
00:12:40,566 --> 00:12:42,638
you were a very...
262
00:12:43,838 --> 00:12:45,670
generic pirate.
263
00:12:45,671 --> 00:12:48,039
Ya know? Beard? Check.
264
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,807
- Hair? Check.
- Fuck off.
265
00:12:49,808 --> 00:12:54,045
Tattoos? Check. Ya know,
just sort of a typical, common,
266
00:12:54,046 --> 00:12:58,649
dirty... bag of pirate.
267
00:12:58,650 --> 00:13:00,852
I didn't even want
your fuckin' record.
268
00:13:00,853 --> 00:13:02,758
I only broke it
'cause I was bored.
269
00:13:03,024 --> 00:13:05,461
Mm-hmm. Hm.
270
00:13:06,294 --> 00:13:10,528
Ya know, music came very
easily to my younger brother.
271
00:13:10,529 --> 00:13:11,829
Let me guess, you killed him?
272
00:13:11,830 --> 00:13:14,365
Strung up your little
fiddle bow with his guts
273
00:13:14,366 --> 00:13:17,172
or something super
melodramatic like that.
274
00:13:18,205 --> 00:13:21,539
- Ooh, shit. Struck a chord. I think you got it in one.
- Oh. (laughs) Yeah.
275
00:13:21,540 --> 00:13:22,841
It's usually
something like that.
276
00:13:22,842 --> 00:13:24,442
It's often family-based stuff.
277
00:13:24,443 --> 00:13:26,410
I will (yells) not
278
00:13:26,411 --> 00:13:29,948
be undone by
another idiot savant!
279
00:13:29,949 --> 00:13:32,617
- (screaming)
- Fuck you!
280
00:13:32,618 --> 00:13:36,020
(groans, sighs) You
torture like a bitch.
281
00:13:36,021 --> 00:13:37,221
- Oh, yeah?
- That's good.
282
00:13:37,222 --> 00:13:38,623
But maybe don't encourage him.
283
00:13:38,624 --> 00:13:40,758
Hey. No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
284
00:13:40,759 --> 00:13:42,861
- It's me you want. It's me you want!
- Oh, oh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!
285
00:13:42,862 --> 00:13:44,095
- Don't! I'm gonna fuckin'...
- (screaming)
286
00:13:44,096 --> 00:13:45,697
kill you, you fucker!
287
00:13:45,698 --> 00:13:47,565
Pirate: This is
really gonna hurt.
288
00:13:47,566 --> 00:13:49,695
- (screaming) -
Just so you know.
289
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:52,637
Relax. Oh, I'm
tender-headed, ya know?
290
00:13:52,638 --> 00:13:54,539
(groans) Alright! Okay! (yells)
291
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:58,109
(laughs) I don't think
the torture has begun.
292
00:13:58,110 --> 00:13:59,711
Wait, so it gets
worse than this?
293
00:13:59,712 --> 00:14:02,280
Yeah, it gets way worse.
294
00:14:02,281 --> 00:14:05,049
So, what's the
plan, you weird fuck?
295
00:14:05,050 --> 00:14:07,385
Um, yeah, I'm probably
gonna cut your skin off
296
00:14:07,386 --> 00:14:09,053
in strips or some
bullshit like that.
297
00:14:09,054 --> 00:14:11,255
You don't sound
very excited about it.
298
00:14:11,256 --> 00:14:15,226
Hm. Uh, what are we, uh,
299
00:14:15,227 --> 00:14:16,962
what are we
celebrating here, guys?
300
00:14:16,963 --> 00:14:19,097
- It's Calypso's birthday.
- (chuckles) Calypso.
301
00:14:19,098 --> 00:14:21,465
- Uh, I'm Calypso.
- Oh, God.
302
00:14:21,466 --> 00:14:23,268
Guys, they (chuckles)
Calypso'd them.
303
00:14:23,269 --> 00:14:26,237
- (all laughing) - Ned would shit
his pants if we did that. (laughs)
304
00:14:26,238 --> 00:14:28,639
Yeah, Captain likes a bit
of whimsy now and then.
305
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,309
Well, I guess our captains have
very different ideas about whimsy.
306
00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:33,144
Uh, may-maybe we
should talk about it.
307
00:14:33,145 --> 00:14:36,447
- No. Same shit, different day.
- (groans) Okay. Okay. Okay.
308
00:14:36,448 --> 00:14:38,316
- I'll shut up. I'll shut up.
- Ya know, whatever this is,
309
00:14:38,317 --> 00:14:40,084
it's just gonna turn me on.
310
00:14:40,085 --> 00:14:41,280
{\an8}- Oh, really?
- Uh-huh.
311
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,087
{\an8}Go fuck yourself.
312
00:14:43,088 --> 00:14:47,192
Wow. We were in
there for a, a whole day.
313
00:14:47,193 --> 00:14:51,028
(sighs) I guess this
is just engaged life.
314
00:14:51,029 --> 00:14:53,698
Here's to... 24 hours of...
315
00:14:53,699 --> 00:14:58,098
freaky... uninterrupted love.
316
00:14:58,099 --> 00:14:59,375
Mm.
317
00:15:02,243 --> 00:15:05,110
Yeah, why weren't we
interrupted? Where is everyone?
318
00:15:05,111 --> 00:15:07,182
(crew screaming)
319
00:15:07,748 --> 00:15:11,620
- That doesn't sound... -
Are we... under attack?
320
00:15:13,188 --> 00:15:15,058
(groaning)
321
00:15:19,528 --> 00:15:20,762
Comfy?
322
00:15:21,762 --> 00:15:26,435
Tighter, please. I think you've
almost fixed my lower back.
323
00:15:27,936 --> 00:15:30,640
- (Blackbeard
screams) - Ned: Mmm.
324
00:15:31,206 --> 00:15:34,138
Alright, you idiots.
It's almost showtime.
325
00:15:34,139 --> 00:15:35,573
Everyone settled in?
326
00:15:35,574 --> 00:15:38,242
Prepared to give their
finest performance?
327
00:15:38,243 --> 00:15:40,077
(crewmembers groaning)
328
00:15:40,078 --> 00:15:41,878
Can you hurry up?
329
00:15:41,879 --> 00:15:44,682
Do you want it done fast
or do you want it done well?
330
00:15:44,683 --> 00:15:45,987
Both!
331
00:15:46,354 --> 00:15:47,585
(mutters) Yeah, right. Both.
332
00:15:47,586 --> 00:15:49,653
Torturing us won't
get your record back.
333
00:15:49,654 --> 00:15:52,056
I know that. I'm just
doing it for the lolz.
334
00:15:52,057 --> 00:15:53,891
(groans)
335
00:15:53,892 --> 00:15:57,728
Now, you are about to witness...
336
00:15:57,729 --> 00:16:01,437
a little something I
call... "The Symphony."
337
00:16:03,070 --> 00:16:06,070
Let's all tune up! Tuning up!
338
00:16:06,071 --> 00:16:08,577
(all screaming at
different pitches)
339
00:16:13,481 --> 00:16:15,113
{\an8}Black Pete (whispers):
Okay, so, let's see here.
340
00:16:15,114 --> 00:16:17,014
Weapons. Weapons. Weapons.
341
00:16:17,015 --> 00:16:20,489
Babe, here's everything I
could find that's sharp or pointy.
342
00:16:21,488 --> 00:16:25,527
Oh, my God, that's actually,
like, making me nauseous.
343
00:16:26,660 --> 00:16:29,427
- We really have to, like, do something.
- Yeah, yeah. No, no.
344
00:16:29,428 --> 00:16:31,695
Maybe we just,
like, tell their stories.
345
00:16:31,696 --> 00:16:33,932
And in some ways, isn't
that the best revenge?
346
00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:37,801
But we're not really
at the revenge step.
347
00:16:37,802 --> 00:16:41,806
We're sort of in the,
like... pre-revenge window.
348
00:16:41,807 --> 00:16:44,709
But there's a bunch
of them and two of us.
349
00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:47,545
(crewmembers screaming)
350
00:16:47,546 --> 00:16:49,981
Right, so, so, so, like, a plan.
351
00:16:49,982 --> 00:16:51,382
Yeah, we definitely need a plan.
352
00:16:51,383 --> 00:16:52,416
And we probably
need more knives.
353
00:16:52,417 --> 00:16:53,546
We definitely need more knives.
354
00:16:53,547 --> 00:16:54,619
Okay, I'll go get some.
355
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,892
Okay. Like, a bunch more knives.
356
00:16:57,859 --> 00:16:59,996
(groaning, screaming)
357
00:17:01,462 --> 00:17:05,329
- Ah! Jesus! Ah!
- No! You're late!
358
00:17:05,330 --> 00:17:07,569
- Pirate: I wasn't late.
- It really hurts!
359
00:17:07,802 --> 00:17:09,500
Oh, thank you.
360
00:17:09,501 --> 00:17:12,175
It's nice to get a little positive
reinforcement now and again.
361
00:17:12,641 --> 00:17:15,173
Don't talk to my employee.
362
00:17:15,174 --> 00:17:18,309
- Oh, God.
- Oh, that's the problem.
363
00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:20,311
You see her as your employee
364
00:17:20,312 --> 00:17:23,314
rather than the
person she actually is.
365
00:17:23,315 --> 00:17:25,750
Okay... kill him.
366
00:17:25,751 --> 00:17:28,186
- (pirate groans) -
Alrighty, dumbasses.
367
00:17:28,187 --> 00:17:30,956
- Let's take it from the top!
- (screaming)
368
00:17:30,957 --> 00:17:32,823
- Enough trifling!
- Oh!
369
00:17:32,824 --> 00:17:36,460
Release my crew or
Hellkat... Is it Hellkat?
370
00:17:36,461 --> 00:17:38,296
Uh, it's actually
H-Hellkat Maggie.
371
00:17:38,297 --> 00:17:40,097
- Oh, that's a beautiful name.
- Oh, thank you.
372
00:17:40,098 --> 00:17:42,070
Hellkat Maggie gets it.
373
00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:43,863
(scoffs) Go ahead and kill her.
374
00:17:43,864 --> 00:17:46,204
She can't even
tie a rope correctly.
375
00:17:46,205 --> 00:17:48,973
Maybe I'm demoralized by
your constant fucking criticism.
376
00:17:48,974 --> 00:17:50,942
Pirate: Me too. I've had
enough of the shiny fuck.
377
00:17:50,943 --> 00:17:53,110
I don't like the way it makes
me feel working for you.
378
00:17:53,111 --> 00:17:55,646
- Yeah, this job sucks.
- (Ned's crew agreeing)
379
00:17:55,647 --> 00:17:57,348
You're mercenaries.
You don't have feelings.
380
00:17:57,349 --> 00:17:59,117
How about you stop
telling me who I am?
381
00:17:59,118 --> 00:18:01,585
- Yeah, and she has a name.
- Yeah.
382
00:18:01,918 --> 00:18:03,554
- A beautiful one.
- (door slams open)
383
00:18:03,555 --> 00:18:06,190
Black Pete (yelling): Fuck
yeah! You wanna get crazy?
384
00:18:06,191 --> 00:18:08,225
Let's get fuckin' crazy!
385
00:18:08,226 --> 00:18:10,495
{\an8}Guys, Stede's already got this!
386
00:18:10,496 --> 00:18:12,530
- Oluwande: Yeah. Where you been?
- We got engaged.
387
00:18:12,531 --> 00:18:15,962
- All: Aww.
- Oh, I love that.
388
00:18:15,963 --> 00:18:18,303
Anywho, where were
we? Oh, that's right.
389
00:18:18,304 --> 00:18:20,906
Your lot was
turning, weren't you?
390
00:18:20,907 --> 00:18:22,707
- Hellkat Maggie: Mm-hmm.
- Stede: Good.
391
00:18:22,708 --> 00:18:24,575
Guys, guys, guys, guys,
guys. Come on. Come on.
392
00:18:24,576 --> 00:18:27,644
Please. Let's have a
little professionalism.
393
00:18:27,645 --> 00:18:29,884
Oh, now he's saying
please. (laughs)
394
00:18:30,517 --> 00:18:32,918
Who's comin' in late now, Neddy?
395
00:18:32,919 --> 00:18:34,485
♪
396
00:18:34,486 --> 00:18:39,223
Oh, in summary, you
have built a pirate navy,
397
00:18:39,224 --> 00:18:43,060
and you want the Crown
to pay them not to pirate.
398
00:18:43,061 --> 00:18:45,330
Correct. Pay them a living wage.
399
00:18:45,331 --> 00:18:47,198
Then they will stop
stealing your shit.
400
00:18:47,199 --> 00:18:50,601
Do you know where a fifth of
your nation's treasure winds up?
401
00:18:50,602 --> 00:18:53,171
- On the sea floor.
- On the floor of the sea.
402
00:18:53,172 --> 00:18:55,439
Get out. No way, the sea floor?
403
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,510
But you-you are
gonna end all that.
404
00:18:58,511 --> 00:19:01,179
You could end all that.
405
00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:04,883
Oh, because of Papa's
access to the Treasury?
406
00:19:04,884 --> 00:19:07,551
Zheng Yi Sao: Yes,
but more importantly,
407
00:19:07,552 --> 00:19:10,783
because you're
Prince Richard Banes,
408
00:19:10,784 --> 00:19:13,758
respected pirate abolitionist.
409
00:19:13,759 --> 00:19:17,261
And you could be the
man to end all piracy
410
00:19:17,262 --> 00:19:20,131
without firing a single shot.
411
00:19:20,132 --> 00:19:22,404
- (strikes match)
- Shot.
412
00:19:22,637 --> 00:19:24,403
Thanks for the treasure, Bonnet!
413
00:19:24,404 --> 00:19:25,769
You're a good dude.
414
00:19:25,770 --> 00:19:27,939
Awfully sorry to hear
about your mum, Vincent.
415
00:19:27,940 --> 00:19:29,440
Hope she's feeling better soon.
416
00:19:29,441 --> 00:19:32,644
Thanks, Bonnet. You're
the fuckin' man, bro.
417
00:19:32,645 --> 00:19:34,711
Alright. Full sail, dawgs!
418
00:19:34,712 --> 00:19:37,749
Oh, and I mean that
supportively and affectionately.
419
00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:40,752
Ned: You are all a disgrace!
420
00:19:40,753 --> 00:19:44,922
I'll find you! I'll
hunt you down!
421
00:19:44,923 --> 00:19:47,591
Hellkat Maggie: Alright,
gang! Let's talk profit sharing.
422
00:19:47,592 --> 00:19:50,662
- (Ned's crew cheers) -
Pirate: Woo-hoo-hoo! Maggie!
423
00:19:50,663 --> 00:19:52,464
(Ned sighs)
424
00:19:52,465 --> 00:19:55,933
So... Bland Beard.
425
00:19:55,934 --> 00:19:57,439
How ya gonna do it?
426
00:19:57,838 --> 00:20:00,909
I'm not. I don't respect
you enough to kill you.
427
00:20:01,308 --> 00:20:03,241
You're not worth the poison.
428
00:20:03,242 --> 00:20:05,777
What happened to
you? What happened?
429
00:20:05,778 --> 00:20:07,478
You used to be a killer,
430
00:20:07,479 --> 00:20:11,650
but now you're just a
washed-up, low-born...
431
00:20:11,651 --> 00:20:13,722
- dirtbag.
- (gasps)
432
00:20:15,723 --> 00:20:18,156
- Walk!
- Oh. Oh, oh, now this is how ya do it.
433
00:20:18,157 --> 00:20:20,292
This is what it's
all about right here.
434
00:20:20,293 --> 00:20:21,564
Go.
435
00:20:23,164 --> 00:20:25,834
♪
436
00:20:28,337 --> 00:20:29,372
Get up.
437
00:20:31,907 --> 00:20:34,106
- (plank creaks) -
Ned: On the plank?
438
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,440
Yeah.
439
00:20:35,441 --> 00:20:37,041
Oh, that is kinky.
440
00:20:37,042 --> 00:20:39,945
You're gonna toss
me into the sea?
441
00:20:39,946 --> 00:20:42,013
♪
442
00:20:42,014 --> 00:20:45,683
Works for spiders.
Works for men.
443
00:20:45,684 --> 00:20:50,388
Ya know, um, once you kill me,
444
00:20:50,389 --> 00:20:52,958
you are a real pirate.
445
00:20:52,959 --> 00:20:57,433
You're, you're not
an amateur anymore.
446
00:20:58,566 --> 00:21:00,392
Don't do it, Stede.
447
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:03,706
Killing in cold blood, you
can't come back from that.
448
00:21:06,441 --> 00:21:09,410
See? That's why he likes you.
449
00:21:09,776 --> 00:21:13,679
It's because of your
bumbling amateur status.
450
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,619
You're like a pet, I think.
451
00:21:17,252 --> 00:21:19,084
You hurt my crew.
452
00:21:19,085 --> 00:21:22,320
You shit-talked my friend
and damaged my ship.
453
00:21:22,321 --> 00:21:26,758
But worst of all, you
fucked Calypso's birthday!
454
00:21:26,759 --> 00:21:29,160
(crew exclaims)
455
00:21:29,161 --> 00:21:32,096
- (all agreeing)
- Fuck off.
456
00:21:32,097 --> 00:21:37,368
Alright, well, what would
you like me to do? Jump?
457
00:21:37,369 --> 00:21:39,738
No, don't forget your fiddle.
458
00:21:39,739 --> 00:21:42,173
- (Ned screams)
- (loud splash)
459
00:21:42,174 --> 00:21:44,876
(crew exclaiming)
460
00:21:44,877 --> 00:21:48,179
(solemn music playing)
461
00:21:48,180 --> 00:21:50,253
(cheering)
462
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,759
I'll be in my quarters.
463
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:02,098
Izzy Hands: Give him a minute.
464
00:22:03,131 --> 00:22:05,268
First kill's always a mind-fuck.
465
00:22:07,002 --> 00:22:08,771
I'm gonna check on him.
466
00:22:12,173 --> 00:22:13,842
(knocks on door)
467
00:22:17,579 --> 00:22:19,248
Hey. You okay?
468
00:22:20,148 --> 00:22:23,080
(sighs) Look, I was a wreck
after my first kill as well.
469
00:22:23,081 --> 00:22:26,117
I mean, well, it was
my dad, so there's that...
470
00:22:26,118 --> 00:22:29,788
(Izzy singing "La Vie
En Rose" in French)
471
00:22:29,789 --> 00:22:32,495
(Frenchie plays lute)
472
00:22:33,494 --> 00:22:38,496
♪ Je vois la vie en rose ♪
473
00:22:38,497 --> 00:22:42,667
♪ Il me dit des mots d'amour ♪
474
00:22:42,668 --> 00:22:45,636
♪ Des mots de tous les jours ♪
475
00:22:45,637 --> 00:22:50,507
♪ Et ca m'fait quelque chose ♪
476
00:22:50,508 --> 00:22:54,746
♪ Il est entré dans mon coeur ♪
477
00:22:54,747 --> 00:22:57,749
♪ Une part de bonheur ♪
478
00:22:57,750 --> 00:23:02,353
♪ Dont je connais la cause ♪
479
00:23:02,354 --> 00:23:08,459
♪ C'est lui pour moi,
moi pour lui dans la vie ♪
480
00:23:08,460 --> 00:23:13,865
♪ Il me l'a dit, l'a
juré, pour la vie ♪
481
00:23:13,866 --> 00:23:16,940
- (Izzy holds note)
- (all cheering)
482
00:23:20,408 --> 00:23:24,447
- (fireworks exploding) -
(Roach laughs, cheers)
483
00:23:27,181 --> 00:23:34,223
♪ Mon coeur qui bat ♪
484
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,159
♪
485
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,866
(fireworks exploding)
486
00:23:45,899 --> 00:23:52,203
♪ C'est lui pour moi,
moi pour lui dans la vie ♪
487
00:23:52,204 --> 00:23:58,877
♪ Il me l'a dit, l'a
juré, pour la vie ♪
488
00:23:58,878 --> 00:24:03,014
♪ Et dès que je l'apercois ♪
489
00:24:03,015 --> 00:24:06,217
♪ Alors, je sens en moi ♪
490
00:24:06,218 --> 00:24:11,890
♪ Mon coeur qui bat ♪
491
00:24:11,891 --> 00:24:14,558
(crew singing along)
492
00:24:14,559 --> 00:24:18,057
All: ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da ♪
493
00:24:18,058 --> 00:24:24,102
♪ Da, da, daaa, da ♪
494
00:24:24,103 --> 00:24:27,176
(cheering, applause)
495
00:24:29,743 --> 00:24:33,782
All (chanting): One more
song! One more song!
496
00:24:34,649 --> 00:24:37,282
Izzy: I've got one more song!
497
00:24:37,283 --> 00:24:39,350
(cheering)
498
00:24:39,351 --> 00:24:42,025
(fireworks exploding)
499
00:24:50,231 --> 00:24:53,231
- (goat bleats) - My apologies,
guys, but I couldn't let 'em
500
00:24:53,232 --> 00:24:54,966
harm this little fella.
501
00:24:54,967 --> 00:24:57,135
So, we just went
and hid off the side
502
00:24:57,136 --> 00:24:59,637
for a couple of hours, here.
503
00:24:59,638 --> 00:25:01,406
And now I've got
really sore fingies
504
00:25:01,407 --> 00:25:03,875
from hangin' there
holding you! Yes, you!
505
00:25:03,876 --> 00:25:05,110
Archie: Mate, you
got sore fingies?
506
00:25:05,111 --> 00:25:07,145
I've got sore footsies
and got tortured!
507
00:25:07,146 --> 00:25:08,613
- And we survived!
- Oluwande: Yeah.
508
00:25:08,614 --> 00:25:11,920
- Let's fuckin' party!
- (cheering)
509
00:25:12,753 --> 00:25:15,086
- I'll go get the fireworks!
- Archie: Yeah!
510
00:25:15,087 --> 00:25:16,492
Ah!