1
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Merry Christmas, everyone. Love you all.
2
00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:17,476
- All the best, Nathan.
- Love you too, lad.
3
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:18,769
Don't ever change, Nate.
4
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:23,273
Oi! Before you go, I have
one more Christmas surprise for you.
5
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,858
-[Jamie] Strong guy!
-[together] It's Roy!
6
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:27,736
Yeah, yeah. One of my presents
to Keeley is that I'd stop by
7
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,738
and say **** Merry Christmas to you lot.
8
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,615
So Merry **** Christmas.
9
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,450
[Ted] Well, jingle my bells.
It's Roy Kent.
10
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,535
[gasps]
11
00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:36,662
What's the matter?
I got something on my face?
12
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,915
No, Ted, that's the problem.
There's nothing on your face.
13
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,291
Your mustache is gone.
14
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[shouts]
15
00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:46,004
[theme music plays]
16
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Quick, anyone got a mirror?
17
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,405
Here you go, Coach.
I've always got a mirror.
18
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:12,948
Oh, no.
19
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,158
I'm supposed to FaceTime
with Henry in an hour.
20
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,369
He won't recognize me without my mustache.
21
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It's gonna ruin Christmas.
22
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,289
Don't worry, Ted. We're on it.
23
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Everyone, split up and find that snot mop.
24
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Boy, I hope they find it.
25
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,967
I really wanted this Christmas
to be perfect.
26
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[switch clicks]
27
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,429
Sorry, Ted. We looked everywhere.
28
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,556
Yes. I searched every inch
of the Royal Opera House.
29
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:38,932
It weren't in Ted's car.
30
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,517
But I don't have a car, Jamie.
31
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:45,314
Then it wasn't in the person's car
whose window I just smashed with a rock.
32
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,775
People, we don't need to find
Ted's mustache.
33
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:50,068
We need to catch it.
34
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:53,614
I built a trap and baited it
with the mustache's favorite things.
35
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:56,658
Crumbs, a small comb
and a tiny bit of pomade.
36
00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,702
Nate, that's a kill trap.
37
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,454
Uh, you're damned right it is.
38
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:03,916
That thing escaped from Ted's face.
Who knows what it wants next.
39
00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:06,877
Wait! Before we kill anything,
let me try something.
40
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,300
- Ooh, little more up there.
- And a little just there.
41
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,968
And presto.
42
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:16,845
Ooh, I love it.
43
00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:19,348
Well, I don't know, guys.
It's not really me, you know.
44
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:21,517
Looks more like Clark Gable
or John Waters.
45
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,935
Allow me.
46
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,146
Why do you have a disguise kit?
47
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:27,481
Why don't you?
48
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,274
[whooshing]
49
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:30,817
[chuckles] That's amazing.
50
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,736
- Looks just like him.
- I think you look fantastic.
51
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,864
Agree to agree, but the whole point
is for Henry to recognize me.
52
00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:37,533
Right. Forgot the objective.
53
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,493
-[beard rips]
- Yowzer!
54
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Oi. You need a 'tache. Here.
55
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:43,247
[strains]
56
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:48,335
Whoa. I look like Detroit Tigers
superfan Magnum P.I.
57
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:51,129
But even though this feels like
I'm kissing your forehead,
58
00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:52,464
it ain't me, Roy.
59
00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:55,801
Aw, babe. I'm gonna miss your eyebrows.
60
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:56,885
Hang on.
61
00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,721
[gasps] You're so hairy.
62
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:00,848
Disgusting.
63
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:01,932
Hey, it's no use.
64
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,602
For the first time in history,
Tom Selleck has ruined Christmas.
65
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,229
I'll see y'all tomorrow.
66
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,523
Where will he go? What will he do?
67
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,401
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
68
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:13,485
- Wow.
- Wow.
69
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,237
- Is that Clark Gable?
- That is just right.
70
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,363
Aw, thank you.
71
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:19,199
Obviously, I do care.
It's just the mustache talking.
72
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,745
[laptop rings, chimes]
73
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,455
-Cheers, Ted!
-We love you, Ted.
74
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,874
-[Rebecca] Hey, Ted.
- Hey, guys.
75
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,501
Sorry I was being such a straight,
white, cisgender male version
76
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:30,878
of the Grinch earlier.
77
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:32,754
Which I guess is just Ebenezer Scrooge.
78
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,965
-Oh, don't worry about that.
-Don't be silly, Ted.
79
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:38,385
But I realized, not having my mustache,
it ain't the end of the world.
80
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,638
'Cause it's not about making Christmas
perfect for the people you love.
81
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,682
It's the people you love
that make Christmas perfect.
82
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,809
-That is amazing. I can't believe my eyes.
-[gasps] Oh, my God.
83
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,394
Uh-oh. What's wrong now?
84
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:48,854
[Keeley] Your mustache is back.
85
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,063
Hot dog eggnog!
86
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:51,190
[phone ringing]
87
00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:53,442
Uh-oh. That's Henry. I'll see y'all later.
88
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:54,568
-Good luck, Ted.
-Love to Henry.
89
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:55,736
Back to sexy Christmas.
90
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:58,322
[Henry] Merry Christmas, Dad.
You look great.
91
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,365
Thanks, buddy. I actually just shaved.
92
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,117
[stammers] You know what,
one second, big guy.
93
00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:04,661
Hey, everyone. Have a perfect Christmas.
94
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,122
[stammers] I mean, an imperfect Christmas.
95
00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:08,916
'Cause it's the imperfections
that make it--
96
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:11,627
Well, I mean, you get it.
You saw what we're going for, right?
97
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:12,878
Uh-oh.
98
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,671
Is it snowing in my apartment?
99
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,173
Huh. That's weird.
100
00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:18,050
[wind whistling]