1 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,058 Merry Christmas, everyone. Love you all. 2 00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:17,476 - All the best, Nathan. - Love you too, lad. 3 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:18,769 Don't ever change, Nate. 4 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:23,273 Oi! Before you go, I have one more Christmas surprise for you. 5 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,858 -[Jamie] Strong guy! -[together] It's Roy! 6 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:27,736 Yeah, yeah. One of my presents to Keeley is that I'd stop by 7 00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,738 and say **** Merry Christmas to you lot. 8 00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,615 So Merry **** Christmas. 9 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,450 [Ted] Well, jingle my bells. It's Roy Kent. 10 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,535 [gasps] 11 00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:36,662 What's the matter? I got something on my face? 12 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,915 No, Ted, that's the problem. There's nothing on your face. 13 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,291 Your mustache is gone. 14 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,710 [shouts] 15 00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:46,004 [theme music plays] 16 00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,361 Quick, anyone got a mirror? 17 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,405 Here you go, Coach. I've always got a mirror. 18 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:12,948 Oh, no. 19 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,158 I'm supposed to FaceTime with Henry in an hour. 20 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,369 He won't recognize me without my mustache. 21 00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:18,579 It's gonna ruin Christmas. 22 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,289 Don't worry, Ted. We're on it. 23 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:23,208 Everyone, split up and find that snot mop. 24 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,007 Boy, I hope they find it. 25 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,967 I really wanted this Christmas to be perfect. 26 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:33,135 [switch clicks] 27 00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,429 Sorry, Ted. We looked everywhere. 28 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,556 Yes. I searched every inch of the Royal Opera House. 29 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:38,932 It weren't in Ted's car. 30 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,517 But I don't have a car, Jamie. 31 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:45,314 Then it wasn't in the person's car whose window I just smashed with a rock. 32 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,775 People, we don't need to find Ted's mustache. 33 00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:50,068 We need to catch it. 34 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:53,614 I built a trap and baited it with the mustache's favorite things. 35 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:56,658 Crumbs, a small comb and a tiny bit of pomade. 36 00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,702 Nate, that's a kill trap. 37 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,454 Uh, you're damned right it is. 38 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:03,916 That thing escaped from Ted's face. Who knows what it wants next. 39 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:06,877 Wait! Before we kill anything, let me try something. 40 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,300 - Ooh, little more up there. - And a little just there. 41 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,968 And presto. 42 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:16,845 Ooh, I love it. 43 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:19,348 Well, I don't know, guys. It's not really me, you know. 44 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:21,517 Looks more like Clark Gable or John Waters. 45 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,935 Allow me. 46 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,146 Why do you have a disguise kit? 47 00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:27,481 Why don't you? 48 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,274 [whooshing] 49 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:30,817 [chuckles] That's amazing. 50 00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,736 - Looks just like him. - I think you look fantastic. 51 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,864 Agree to agree, but the whole point is for Henry to recognize me. 52 00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:37,533 Right. Forgot the objective. 53 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,493 -[beard rips] - Yowzer! 54 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,954 Oi. You need a 'tache. Here. 55 00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:43,247 [strains] 56 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:48,335 Whoa. I look like Detroit Tigers superfan Magnum P.I. 57 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:51,129 But even though this feels like I'm kissing your forehead, 58 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:52,464 it ain't me, Roy. 59 00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:55,801 Aw, babe. I'm gonna miss your eyebrows. 60 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:56,885 Hang on. 61 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,721 [gasps] You're so hairy. 62 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:00,848 Disgusting. 63 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:01,932 Hey, it's no use. 64 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,602 For the first time in history, Tom Selleck has ruined Christmas. 65 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,229 I'll see y'all tomorrow. 66 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,523 Where will he go? What will he do? 67 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,401 Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. 68 00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:13,485 - Wow. - Wow. 69 00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,237 - Is that Clark Gable? - That is just right. 70 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,363 Aw, thank you. 71 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:19,199 Obviously, I do care. It's just the mustache talking. 72 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,745 [laptop rings, chimes] 73 00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,455 -Cheers, Ted! -We love you, Ted. 74 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,874 -[Rebecca] Hey, Ted. - Hey, guys. 75 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,501 Sorry I was being such a straight, white, cisgender male version 76 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:30,878 of the Grinch earlier. 77 00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:32,754 Which I guess is just Ebenezer Scrooge. 78 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,965 -Oh, don't worry about that. -Don't be silly, Ted. 79 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:38,385 But I realized, not having my mustache, it ain't the end of the world. 80 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,638 'Cause it's not about making Christmas perfect for the people you love. 81 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,682 It's the people you love that make Christmas perfect. 82 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,809 -That is amazing. I can't believe my eyes. -[gasps] Oh, my God. 83 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,394 Uh-oh. What's wrong now? 84 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:48,854 [Keeley] Your mustache is back. 85 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,063 Hot dog eggnog! 86 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:51,190 [phone ringing] 87 00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:53,442 Uh-oh. That's Henry. I'll see y'all later. 88 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:54,568 -Good luck, Ted. -Love to Henry. 89 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:55,736 Back to sexy Christmas. 90 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:58,322 [Henry] Merry Christmas, Dad. You look great. 91 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,365 Thanks, buddy. I actually just shaved. 92 00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,117 [stammers] You know what, one second, big guy. 93 00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:04,661 Hey, everyone. Have a perfect Christmas. 94 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,122 [stammers] I mean, an imperfect Christmas. 95 00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:08,916 'Cause it's the imperfections that make it-- 96 00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:11,627 Well, I mean, you get it. You saw what we're going for, right? 97 00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:12,878 Uh-oh. 98 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,671 Is it snowing in my apartment? 99 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,173 Huh. That's weird. 100 00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:18,050 [wind whistling]