1
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:20,521
The audience at home has voted.

2
00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:25,609
Danthony, Jamie.
One of you will go home tonight.

3
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:28,237
The other will continue
his lustful journey.

4
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,822
Better call your nan, mate.
Tell her to put the kettle on.

5
00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:38,622
Jamie.

6
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:45,838
The lust stops here.

7
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,590
I'm sorry.

8
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,301
Whoo-hoo! Yes!

9
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,386
What?

10
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:55,264
-Thank you. Oy, thank you!
-Wow.

11
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,558
-It's bull****.
-Thank you!

12
00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,770
That is an absolute shocker.

13
00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:02,855
Unlucky, really.

14
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:06,650
Yeah, but we are lucky to have with us,
here in the studio, loser, Jamie.

15
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,820
Easy, Phillip.
I'm not just a loser, I'm the loser.

16
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:13,282
Well, Jamie, look, first things first,
will you keep your promise to Amy?

17
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,409
-Are you gonna wait for her?
-Nah, no.

18
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,870
I was just playing a game,
do you know what I mean?

19
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:19,079
Find the fittest girl there,

20
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:21,832
have sex with her in the toilet,
ask her to marry ya. Strategy.

21
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:26,837
Well, speaking of strategy,
you decided to leave your club, Man City,

22
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,339
right at the start of their season.
So why?

23
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:32,176
Just something I had to do,
do you know what I mean?

24
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,345
The second that I found out
that George Harrison had died,

25
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,348
I realized that I had to stop
waiting for life to begin.

26
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,851
Start taking chances.
Living life to the fullest.

27
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:44,021
But George Harrison died 20 years ago.

28
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,273
Yeah, but I only just found out.

29
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,485
So what's next for Jamie Tartt?

30
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:54,364
Don't know. Back to Man City.
If Pep will have me, that is.

31
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,450
It's funny you mention that
'cause we've got a clip.

32
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,076
You might find this quite interesting.

33
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,163
Any thoughts on Jamie Tartt
and his future with Manchester City?

34
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:02,873
Yes, Jamie.

35
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,585
You know, my wife and I thought he and Amy
were meant for each other.

36
00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:09,880
But no,
he won't be coming back to Man City.

37
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,131
We wish him luck.

38
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,517
Well, thanks for stopping by, Jamie.
Good to see you, as always.

39
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,769
When we come back,
have scientists really discovered

40
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,812
low-fat custard that doesn't make you sad?

41
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,147
Sounds too good to be true.

42
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:38,575
Hey! Jamie! Jamie!

43
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,911
Yeah, yeah. Of course, yeah.

44
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:44,331
-Thank you so much…
-Yeah. All right, yeah.

45
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,041
-How's it going, yeah?
-You all right, bro?

46
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:48,669
-Yeah.
-Sorry you got sacked, man.

47
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:51,380
It's how the crisp crumbles.

48
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:56,552
Thanks, man. Thanks, bruv. There.
Nah, you good, man. Yeah, yeah.

49
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:57,761
Hello, mate. How you doing?

50
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,304
-What's your name?
-Stanley.

51
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,431
Stanley. And you like football, yeah?

52
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,809
-Thank you, Jamie.
-All right. No worries, man. Yeah.

53
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,894
All right, see ya later. Nice to meet ya.

54
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,858
I actually think I'm gonna walk, mate.
Yeah? Nice one.

55
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,305
Hold on. You slept here last night?

56
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:42,931
Why?

57
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:46,018
Jane and I got in a fight last night,
and she threw my keys in the river.

58
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:49,229
Hey, you two are like Frank Sinatra
and Ava Gardner, you know?

59
00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:53,775
Or Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow.
Or Frank and-- Actually, you know what?

60
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:57,070
I'm starting to realize that Ol' Blue Eyes
might've skewed mercurial.

61
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,781
-Hey, what time is it?
-9:20.

62
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,034
Right. I'll be back.

63
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:05,162
No, no, no. Smell this.

64
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,539
A Parisian bedroom.

65
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,003
Will, a word.

66
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:22,596
-Yeah, come in.
-You all right?

67
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:23,680
No, I'm not all right.

68
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,058
Did you put lavender-scented
fabric softener in the laundry?

69
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:27,142
Yes. Yes, I did.

70
00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:30,145
My girlfriend loves lavender.
She finds it very calming.

71
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:35,192
Don't make changes that could
throw off a player's headspace.

72
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,693
Sorry, Coach.

73
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,903
Go. Get out.

74
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,700
We don't want calm athletes.
We want killer athletes.

75
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:44,993
Even after they shower?

76
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,454
Did you sleep here?

77
00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:49,206
"Perchance to dream here."

78
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,544
Thanks for the ride, babe.
Do you wanna pop in? Say hi?

79
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,045
-No.
-Okay.

80
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,130
What you got planned today?

81
00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,424
Nothing till the match later.

82
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,970
I'm going to get the girls to run
a 4-4-2 diamond formation

83
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:07,307
'cause that little Kokoruda girl
is a fucking beast in defense.

84
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,352
Then I was going to cook you
cordon bleu for dinner.

85
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:13,981
Nigella says if you butterfly the chicken,
it'll be more moist.

86
00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:16,733
I don't know what does it for me more,

87
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,611
you mentioning Nigella
or using the word "moist."

88
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,657
Yeah!

89
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,076
-Yeah, all right. This is good.
-What is Ted doing?

90
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,663
He's probably homesick.
Closest thing he can find to a Dodge Ram.

91
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,708
-Good luck with the match, yeah?
-I appreciate you.

92
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:35,794
Morning, Ted!

93
00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:39,339
Hi, Keeley! Uh-oh,
is that big, bad Roy Kent in there?

94
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,801
Sorry. He's in a big rush.

95
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:45,262
That's okay. Hey, you know,
"mime is money," right?

96
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,348
-That looked like fun.
-Oh, yeah. No, that's a blast.

97
00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:51,518
And it's good for my sciatica too.
The vibrations really help out my butt.

98
00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,438
-Wow.
-Hey, look who's here.

99
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,522
Hey.

100
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,901
That's a cool bike.

101
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:01,904
That's not a bike, that's a transformer.

102
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:04,531
Yeah, she really is
more than meets the eye, ain't she.

103
00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:06,742
Hey, Doc …tor Sharon!

104
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:07,910
Good morning.

105
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:11,038
What's she doing back here, I wonder?
Don't we have direct deposit?

106
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,999
I thought Higgins hired her
for the rest of the season, didn't he?

107
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:22,758
Hey, Higgins. Did you hire Dr. Sharon
without running it by me first?

108
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,092
Yes. I thought it couldn't hurt.

109
00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:26,470
But I should've asked you first, Ted.
You're absolutely right.

110
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,013
No, I'm dead wrong.

111
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,557
I mean, heck, you're
Director of Football Operations.

112
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:32,601
You gotta be able to
make your own decisions.

113
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,228
Still, you should've texted me first.

114
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,146
-That's 100% true.
-No, 1,000% false!

115
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,606
I mean, you're a busy man!

116
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,525
Whatever path you think is best
is gonna be best!

117
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:43,195
Still, next time you have plans,
I want you to run 'em by me first. Okay?

118
00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:47,241
-No, I will not.
-Good! Why should you? I ain't your daddy.

119
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,993
Okay, great.
We got ourselves a new member of the team.

120
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,411
That's fine. I ain't got no--

121
00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:53,288
Why's it smell like
my nana's house in here?

122
00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:55,499
Oh, Ted.

123
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,502
-Wait until you hear this shit.
-Do tell, Ricky Bell.

124
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:03,632
No one wants you.

125
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,095
What you mean no one wants me?
I'm Jamie fucking Tartt.

126
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,556
You're too much of a liability.

127
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,975
You act like an asshole
and disappear on Man City.

128
00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:15,978
Then you act like an asshole
and cheat on Amy with Denise

129
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,187
by having Jacuzzi sex.

130
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,731
No one wants you.

131
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:22,109
What about a team in Spain or Germany?

132
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,279
Hello, Real Madrid?
Do you want Jamie Tartt?

133
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:28,448
No. Okay, thank you. See?

134
00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:30,033
You weren't even speaking Spanish.

135
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:34,371
Maybe it's time for you to focus
on your television career.

136
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,874
This is Tracey, your new talent agent.

137
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:40,419
You have an amazing offer
for a new reality show in Ibiza.

138
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:43,714
How do you feel about taking ecstasy
every night for three straight weeks?

139
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,386
You gotta help me, man.

140
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,264
Jamie, you know you're like a son to me.

141
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:56,476
Now you're like a dead son,
which means I love you even more.

142
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,272
There's nothing I can do.

143
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,490
Ted Lasso Welcome Wagon has arrived.

144
00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:13,952
Please don't barge in here like that.
I could have been in a session.

145
00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:16,622
Oh, right. Of course, I'm sorry.

146
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,499
-Can I help you with something?
-Well, yeah. No, I--

147
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:22,252
I brought you a little somethin' somethin'
for your first day at work.

148
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,254
-No, thank you.
-Come on, now.

149
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:25,797
Just try a little bite, huh?

150
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:30,511
There you go.

151
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,937
That's very thoughtful, Coach Lasso.
But I don't eat sugar.

152
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,106
Really? Wow. I've never met
someone who doesn't eat sugar.

153
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,191
Only heard about 'em,

154
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,818
and they all live in this godless place
called Santa Monica.

155
00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:49,321
Trust me,
it's in everyone's best interest.

156
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:52,157
In a past life,
I would inhale a Cadbury's Flake,

157
00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:54,409
talk nonsense for an hour
until I passed out.

158
00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:56,787
-I'm the same way with video games.
-How so?

159
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,581
You know, it's just
something in my life that I really enjoy.

160
00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,667
But then I pretend
that preventing myself from having 'em

161
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,085
is somehow making my life better.

162
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,087
But in reality,

163
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:08,006
all I'm doing is depriving myself
of something that makes me happy,

164
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,133
instead of attempting
to adjust my relationship to it.

165
00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,053
Hey, what's your favorite book?

166
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:16,974
This is interesting.

167
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,684
What is?
That my answer's The Fountainhead?

168
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,519
I know, curveball, right? I can explain--

169
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:21,728
No, what you're doing here.

170
00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:24,940
This is obviously your way
of connecting with new people.

171
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:28,068
Makes sense. It's very disarming.

172
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:33,448
If it's okay with you, Coach Lasso,
I'd like to observe training today.

173
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,284
See how everything's functioning.

174
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,786
Yeah, no, of course.

175
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,080
Yeah, you got a backstage pass.
Full access.

176
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:41,582
Thank you.

177
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,210
Okay.

178
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,131
Oh, hey, you know what I--

179
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,302
And I will let you know
what the people from Dubai Air say.

180
00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,554
All right, you got any questions for me?

181
00:09:56,054 --> 00:10:00,267
Is it tacky to say I'm rich
on an online dating profile?

182
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,394
Only if you put the word "filthy"
in front of it.

183
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,234
Sorry, sorry.

184
00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:11,695
Higgins, it's very kind
that you gave your office to Sharon.

185
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,074
Yes, it's very club-first mentality,
Leslie,

186
00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:18,744
but you really should have an office,
preferably your own.

187
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,204
No, you're absolutely right.

188
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:24,333
It's just very hard to kick an employee
out of their workplace home.

189
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:25,959
It's only temporary.

190
00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:28,670
What about… Caroline in ad sales?

191
00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:30,714
No, she's going through a breakup.

192
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,342
Plus, she's right next door
to Laughing Liam.

193
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:34,676
Lovely man, but…

194
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,226
Hey, Higgins. Who's your new friend here?

195
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,811
Oh, hi, Robert. My name's Ted. Yep.

196
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:47,231
Hey, my name's Jimmy.

197
00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:48,899
Jimmy Paper?

198
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:53,237
Page! I goofed that.
I'm sorry, that was a great one. Dang it.

199
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,613
Hey, boss.

200
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,990
-Here you go.
-Thank you.

201
00:10:58,909 --> 00:10:59,910
What's this?

202
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,995
I tried to give your biscuits
to Dr. Sharon.

203
00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:04,873
-You did what?
-Evidently she doesn't eat sugar.

204
00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:06,667
-What a fucking asshole.
-Yeah.

205
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,335
You ever been to a therapist, Rebecca?

206
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,712
What for?
I can diagnose myself in a heartbeat.

207
00:11:10,796 --> 00:11:12,673
I thought being invulnerable
would protect me,

208
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:15,717
so I pushed people away for years,
leading me directly to my greatest fear:

209
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:17,010
Being alone. Big whoop.

210
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:18,637
Big whoop, yeah. I don't get it.

211
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,139
Why pay someone to do
what a friend should do for you for free?

212
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:23,892
Exactly. I mean,
that's why you have friends, isn't it?

213
00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:26,562
To burden them with your issues
and anxieties, right?

214
00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:27,855
Right. Yeah.

215
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:30,566
Yeah. Speaking of, you got anything
you wanna get off your chest?

216
00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:33,819
No. You?

217
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,364
No.

218
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:43,120
-See, there you have it.
-Exactly. Yeah, okay.

219
00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:44,955
See you later, boss.

220
00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:52,087
-There you go, Keeley.
-Thanks, Alex.

221
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,340
Jamie?

222
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:57,968
I'm not stalking ya.

223
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,720
I've been following you
for a few blocks now,

224
00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,847
and I couldn't text you
'cause I deleted your number.

225
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:04,641
So, I was in town,
and I wanted to talk to you

226
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,561
'cause I left Man City to do
this reality TV show thing,

227
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:10,189
and I got kicked off of both.
So now I don't know what I'm doing,

228
00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:12,316
but I just wanted to talk to someone
about it 'cause--

229
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,818
And whenever I think of talking,
I think of you…

230
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:18,030
So I've been following you
for the last few blocks.

231
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:19,531
No, I'm lying.

232
00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:21,658
I've been following you
for your whole lunch hour.

233
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:24,578
But I've just been trying
to build up the courage to say hi.

234
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:27,372
So… hi.

235
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:30,918
Is that okay?

236
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,004
You deleted my number?

237
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:36,006
Yeah.

238
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:39,510
You all played a hell of a game.

239
00:12:40,219 --> 00:12:41,470
But you lost.

240
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,805
I want you to remember this feeling.

241
00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:48,393
Burn this moment into your brains.

242
00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:52,231
Good.

243
00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:53,815
Is it time for trophies, Uncle Roy?

244
00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:54,942
Yeah, yeah.

245
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:57,569
Emily's mom bought everyone
consolation trophies.

246
00:12:57,653 --> 00:12:59,279
Must be nice to just burn cash.

247
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:04,284
"Best dressed"? That's stupid.
You're all wearing the same thing.

248
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,246
You.

249
00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:10,082
Right, you know what?

250
00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:13,502
Just get amongst it.
Enjoy your trophies for winning nothing.

251
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,337
Coach Kent.

252
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,257
Look, when I was young,
you got shouted at for losing.

253
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,592
Same. But then,
tough love never bothered me.

254
00:13:20,676 --> 00:13:22,970
As long as I knew the coach gave a shit.

255
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:29,476
Oy! It has been an honor
coaching all of you.

256
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,312
I do hope you'll come back
and play next year.

257
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:35,065
But only if you fucking mean it.

258
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,448
Well, we lost.

259
00:13:45,284 --> 00:13:48,579
Would have been closer,
but one of the goals got disallowed

260
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:53,000
because apparently nine-year-olds
aren't allowed to do headers yet.

261
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:56,503
Fucking brain development.

262
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:05,929
Keeley?

263
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:28,994
-What you doing there?
-Nothing.

264
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,372
Why'd you throw your phone?

265
00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:35,459
I thought that you were an intruder,
and I didn't want you to steal it.

266
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:39,296
So you threw it over there?

267
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,006
Yeah.

268
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,091
Were you having a wank?

269
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:46,887
Show me.

270
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,473
No, that's okay.

271
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,851
Babe, come on. Don't be embarrassed.
Whatever it is, it's fine.

272
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,146
I like watching couples have sex
in the woods.

273
00:14:56,230 --> 00:14:57,606
You do? Why?

274
00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,525
'Cause I could never be that free.

275
00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:01,193
Come on, let me see.

276
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,238
I should know what gets you going.

277
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,995
I am announcing…

278
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:16,124
my retirement…

279
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:18,460
from--

280
00:15:20,671 --> 00:15:22,005
The fuck?

281
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,423
This is your kink?

282
00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:24,675
Me being pathetic?

283
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:29,012
You're not being pathetic.
You're being passionate and vulnerable.

284
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:33,433
God, it's fucking hot, and you haven't
been like that since you left football.

285
00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:36,103
At my age with a fucked knee,
I don't get to be a football player.

286
00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:39,064
-That's how it works.
-Then why not just try the pundit gig?

287
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,023
Oh, my God.

288
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:42,818
I know it's fucking stupid.

289
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,862
But you'd be back around the game again.

290
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:47,072
You miss it, Roy. I know you do.

291
00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:49,449
You're just like Jamie.

292
00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:51,827
I didn't think this conversation
could get any worse.

293
00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:53,704
Jesus Christ.

294
00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:56,290
Yeah, I saw him today.

295
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,251
He wants to come back
and play for Richmond.

296
00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:02,754
He's so lost, Roy. Just like you.

297
00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:04,631
But at least
he's tryin' to find his way back.

298
00:16:04,715 --> 00:16:06,049
See? Pathetic.

299
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,634
No, it's not pathetic.

300
00:16:07,718 --> 00:16:09,052
It's brave.

301
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,679
Oy, I get it.

302
00:16:11,555 --> 00:16:13,182
Can't get hurt if you don't try.

303
00:16:13,265 --> 00:16:14,266
But if you don't try,

304
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:17,811
then I'm just gonna have to sit here
wanking to videos of you crying.

305
00:16:17,895 --> 00:16:22,274
Fine. I will try it once.

306
00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:24,818
But when it sucks and I hate it,

307
00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:27,946
I'm gonna hire a bunch of children
to follow you around and scream,

308
00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:30,365
"Told you so, told you so" for centuries.

309
00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:32,367
I look forward to the attention.

310
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:41,210
What'd you tell
the prince prick of all pricks

311
00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:42,753
about going back to Richmond?

312
00:16:43,337 --> 00:16:45,506
I told him
he was talking to the wrong person.

313
00:17:00,229 --> 00:17:01,313
I named him Ted.

314
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:03,732
After Ted Danson.

315
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,443
All-time great.

316
00:17:06,527 --> 00:17:10,321
You know, from Cheers to Curb
to The Good Place. What a career.

317
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:15,661
I mean, he's basically the male version
of Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

318
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:17,871
Who's like the female version
of Dave Grohl.

319
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,790
Yeah. All three of them
got that Midas touch, don't they?

320
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:23,292
Nice to see ya, Jamie.

321
00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:24,502
Take a seat.

322
00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:28,006
How ya been?

323
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:29,424
Awesome.

324
00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:30,551
-Yeah?
-The best.

325
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,094
Pretty good.

326
00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:34,763
Okay, a little depressed. Yeah.

327
00:17:34,847 --> 00:17:36,014
It's all shit, Ted.

328
00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:39,142
That's a real roller coaster there.

329
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:41,103
Glad I was tall enough
to join you on that ride.

330
00:17:41,854 --> 00:17:43,313
Anything I can help you with?

331
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,233
So I was talking to Keeley,

332
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:50,696
and I was just wondering, like,
what the chances were

333
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,739
of me coming back
to play for you at Richmond?

334
00:17:53,699 --> 00:17:56,368
I don't know, Jamie,
you burned a lot of bridges over there.

335
00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,746
Look, Coach, I need Richmond.

336
00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:02,165
And Richmond needs you.

337
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:04,835
-Thank you, Mae.
-Cheers.

338
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,921
Actually, Mae, would you be a darling

339
00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:11,008
and ask those lads at the end of the bar
to stop staring at me, please?

340
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,510
Oy, you three, fuck off.

341
00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:14,761
-Oh, yeah, course, Mae.
-Sorry!

342
00:18:14,845 --> 00:18:15,929
Fucking off now.

343
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,143
Old people are so wise.

344
00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:23,854
They're like tall Yodas.

345
00:18:24,563 --> 00:18:25,564
Cheers.

346
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:27,441
Cheers.

347
00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:34,448
Jamie, let me ask you something.
Why'd you do that reality show?

348
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:37,159
You know,
you were getting good minutes up at City.

349
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:41,413
I don't know, just thought it'd be fun.
Help boost me brand.

350
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,170
Did it to piss off me dad.

351
00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:51,089
He was just on me after every match.

352
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:55,719
How I played, how many minutes I played,
how I sat on the bench when I didn't play.

353
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,346
Just drove me fucking mad.

354
00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:00,432
He can be a bit…

355
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:02,184
Yeah.

356
00:19:02,935 --> 00:19:06,438
You know, I've noticed
that sometimes having a tough dad

357
00:19:06,522 --> 00:19:10,901
is exactly what drives certain fellas
to become great at what they do.

358
00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:14,947
You know, I hear Bono's father
was a real piece of work.

359
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:18,200
But then again,
so was Joshua Tree, so you know…

360
00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:20,869
What about you?

361
00:19:20,953 --> 00:19:22,538
Was your old man like that?

362
00:19:22,621 --> 00:19:23,622
No.

363
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:28,961
No, my father was a lot harder
on himself than he ever was on me.

364
00:19:31,839 --> 00:19:33,048
You're lucky.

365
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,678
So what do you say then, Coach?

366
00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:41,056
Jamie, you're an amazing player.

367
00:19:43,976 --> 00:19:45,894
But I don't think it's a good idea.

368
00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:50,148
Yeah.

369
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:57,865
Right, now get one where it looks like
they're sitting in my hand.

370
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,041
That's some bullshit.

371
00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:09,877
-Bloody hell.
-Wait, that was last night?

372
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,628
What are you all fussing over?

373
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,381
Looks like Jamie's coming back
to Richmond.

374
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,760
It looks like they're sitting on his hand.

375
00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:21,180
Get fucking stuck in!

376
00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:22,264
Just throw it here!

377
00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:24,057
Somebody order training extra spicy today?

378
00:20:24,141 --> 00:20:26,852
Yeah, it's got that Nando's
peri-peri sauce on it, huh?

379
00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:28,103
What the fuck was that?

380
00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:30,355
What the fuck you waiting for?

381
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:35,652
How come every time I look back there
it's like she's getting closer and closer?

382
00:20:35,736 --> 00:20:37,779
-Thank you, Will.
-That's all right.

383
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,575
Optical illusion induced by your mistrust
of her profession?

384
00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:42,993
Metaphor, huh?

385
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,244
Bingo, Ringo.

386
00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:47,456
Is there-- Is there pineapple in this?

387
00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:48,832
Jesus Christ.

388
00:20:50,209 --> 00:20:53,003
I'm with Ted. We've been overrun
by incompetent outsiders.

389
00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:54,505
I don't think I said that, did I?

390
00:20:54,588 --> 00:20:56,548
-Not to me. It was him.
-Yeah.

391
00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:01,720
Come on now.
She's definitely getting closer.

392
00:21:03,138 --> 00:21:05,182
-Yes!
-Yeah, do it!

393
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,600
Now, look at that. Hey, Nate.

394
00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:08,352
-Hit me two times, will ya?
-Yeah.

395
00:21:09,019 --> 00:21:10,729
Hey, Sam! Hold up! Hey!

396
00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:13,815
Look, baby, when you make that pass,
you gotta put some grass under it.

397
00:21:13,899 --> 00:21:15,025
Make Dani chase it down

398
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:17,194
like it's a loose toddler
in a busy parking lot.

399
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:19,446
You think you can do better?
Come here and do it then.

400
00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:21,281
Oy! Easy, bruv.

401
00:21:21,365 --> 00:21:23,075
No, no, no. That's okay. Sam's right.

402
00:21:23,158 --> 00:21:25,160
There ain't nothing going on
out here on this field

403
00:21:25,244 --> 00:21:26,787
that I can do better than any of y'all.

404
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:29,790
Unless you break into a game of
"finish that Jimmy Buffett lyric."

405
00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:32,835
Then I'll be changing your latitudes
and attitudes left, right and center.

406
00:21:32,918 --> 00:21:34,670
You-- Hey, Sam.

407
00:21:34,753 --> 00:21:37,172
-I'm just tryin' to help the team here.
-Bullshit.

408
00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:41,635
Okay.

409
00:21:43,679 --> 00:21:46,014
I'm gonna see
what that's all about here real quick.

410
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:49,309
He's not normally like this, you know, so…

411
00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:51,895
I guess Sam doesn't like Jimmy Buffett.

412
00:21:51,979 --> 00:21:53,105
Who's Jimmy Buffett?

413
00:21:53,814 --> 00:21:54,815
Really?

414
00:21:55,941 --> 00:21:59,319
Hey. Sam! Slow down. Hey, you got
something you wanna talk about?

415
00:21:59,403 --> 00:22:00,487
No.

416
00:22:00,571 --> 00:22:02,614
Really? It seems like you got
something on your mind.

417
00:22:02,698 --> 00:22:04,575
Something like,
"I'm angry about a mysterious thing

418
00:22:04,658 --> 00:22:05,909
so I'm gonna do some cussing now."

419
00:22:05,993 --> 00:22:07,578
I mean, I am angry.

420
00:22:07,661 --> 00:22:09,580
And I did cuss,
and every time I do, I regret it.

421
00:22:09,663 --> 00:22:10,747
'Cause people say cuss words

422
00:22:10,831 --> 00:22:13,333
when they don't know the right ones to use
to express themselves.

423
00:22:13,417 --> 00:22:14,543
Except Bernie Mac.

424
00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:17,588
He uses them like van Gogh uses yellow.
You know, effectively.

425
00:22:17,671 --> 00:22:20,132
-Come on, talk to me.
-I can't believe you're bringing Jamie

426
00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:21,133
-back to the team.
-What?

427
00:22:21,216 --> 00:22:22,885
I saw the picture of you and him
on Twitter.

428
00:22:22,968 --> 00:22:25,429
Oh, Sam,
there's a bunch of crazy stuff on Twitter.

429
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:27,139
Heck, someone made an account
for my mustache.

430
00:22:27,222 --> 00:22:29,600
How many locker room punch-ups
have we had since Jamie's been gone?

431
00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:30,767
-None.
-None.

432
00:22:31,268 --> 00:22:34,021
Have we won yet? No, but we will.

433
00:22:34,688 --> 00:22:36,231
I believe that. Don't you?

434
00:22:37,441 --> 00:22:40,777
Just because Jamie can score goals
doesn't mean he deserves to be here.

435
00:22:47,618 --> 00:22:50,704
No teammate has ever made me feel
as bad about myself as Jamie did.

436
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:53,540
-Sam, I understand your anger towards him.
-It's not him.

437
00:22:54,124 --> 00:22:55,626
I'm mad at you.

438
00:22:56,168 --> 00:22:57,711
You didn't even talk to us about it.

439
00:22:57,794 --> 00:23:00,339
Honestly, Sam, I didn't think
there was anything to talk about.

440
00:23:00,422 --> 00:23:01,840
I told Jamie it wasn't gonna happen.

441
00:23:04,843 --> 00:23:06,845
-Now I feel awkward.
-I bet.

442
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,098
Did everybody see me when I stomped off--

443
00:23:10,182 --> 00:23:13,310
No, no one saw that. Yeah, man!
Everyone saw that. Come on.

444
00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:14,520
Of course they did.

445
00:23:17,022 --> 00:23:18,148
Coach, I'm so sorry.

446
00:23:18,232 --> 00:23:19,983
It's okay, Sam, all right?

447
00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:22,736
You are a leader on this team.
I want you to speak your mind.

448
00:23:23,737 --> 00:23:24,947
Thank you.

449
00:23:27,282 --> 00:23:30,410
You know, my father says
every time he sees you on TV,

450
00:23:30,494 --> 00:23:31,870
he's very happy that I am here.

451
00:23:33,288 --> 00:23:36,124
That I'm in safe hands with you.

452
00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:38,669
Well, that means a lot.

453
00:23:39,545 --> 00:23:40,546
I appreciate that.

454
00:23:42,548 --> 00:23:44,842
You know I still gotta make you
run a bunch of laps, right?

455
00:23:44,925 --> 00:23:46,593
-I was hoping you would.
-Okay. Get going.

456
00:23:46,677 --> 00:23:47,886
-Thank you.
-Yes.

457
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,851
-Very well handled, Ted.
-Gee…

458
00:23:56,562 --> 00:23:57,729
Thank you, Higgins.

459
00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:05,362
What are you doing?

460
00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:08,490
Sorry.
What do you usually do with your lashes?

461
00:24:08,574 --> 00:24:10,534
I leave them the fuck alone.

462
00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:12,703
'Scuse me.

463
00:24:14,580 --> 00:24:15,581
-Hey.
-Hi.

464
00:24:15,664 --> 00:24:16,957
I wanted to see how it was going.

465
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:19,793
Jamie Carragher sent me flowers.

466
00:24:19,877 --> 00:24:22,421
We fucking despised each other
when we played,

467
00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:23,922
now he's sending me flowers.

468
00:24:24,006 --> 00:24:26,300
How the fuck does he know
I love white orchids?

469
00:24:26,383 --> 00:24:28,510
Babe,
it's only natural to be a bit nervous.

470
00:24:28,594 --> 00:24:31,013
I'm not nervous.
There's nothing scary about this.

471
00:24:31,096 --> 00:24:32,764
There's no defense in TV.

472
00:24:33,599 --> 00:24:34,725
Well, what is it then?

473
00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:37,936
It's just-- What if--

474
00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:42,774
What if everyone thinks I'm shit?

475
00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:45,777
Since when do you care what people think?

476
00:24:45,861 --> 00:24:47,654
You're Roy fucking Kent.

477
00:24:49,448 --> 00:24:50,782
Ready for Mr. Kent.

478
00:24:51,283 --> 00:24:53,535
I gotta go. Thank you.

479
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,205
Kill 'em. Roy-o!

480
00:25:19,102 --> 00:25:21,146
-Glad to have you on the show, Roy.
-Whatever.

481
00:25:22,731 --> 00:25:24,358
Same old Roy Kent.

482
00:25:25,234 --> 00:25:28,111
Hey, Roy, try not to get
too emotional, yeah?

483
00:25:28,195 --> 00:25:31,114
And we're on in five seconds.

484
00:25:31,198 --> 00:25:33,992
Four, three, two.

485
00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:40,249
What a match!
Manchester United beat Chelsea 1-nil

486
00:25:40,332 --> 00:25:42,876
in a result that drops Chelsea
out of the European places

487
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,587
and lands United in the top three,
for now.

488
00:25:45,671 --> 00:25:46,713
Chris, was this a case

489
00:25:46,797 --> 00:25:49,132
where United won the match
or that Chelsea lost it?

490
00:25:49,216 --> 00:25:53,053
United just had that extra sharpness
in the final third,

491
00:25:53,136 --> 00:25:55,973
but I thought
both teams played really well.

492
00:25:56,056 --> 00:25:58,100
-George?
-A real even battle.

493
00:25:58,183 --> 00:26:00,102
You know, it's football at its finest.

494
00:26:00,185 --> 00:26:02,604
Roy Kent, ex-Chelsea legend joins us.

495
00:26:02,688 --> 00:26:04,106
Welcome, Roy.

496
00:26:04,731 --> 00:26:06,650
Right, what did you think?

497
00:26:06,733 --> 00:26:08,110
Did your former club play well?

498
00:26:08,193 --> 00:26:10,529
No. I thought they played like shit.

499
00:26:13,115 --> 00:26:14,825
Our apologies to the viewing audience.

500
00:26:14,908 --> 00:26:17,619
Roy Kent with some salty language.

501
00:26:17,703 --> 00:26:19,788
Would you care to elaborate, Roy?

502
00:26:19,872 --> 00:26:21,999
All right. Chelsea was shit today.

503
00:26:22,791 --> 00:26:23,834
They were shocking.

504
00:26:23,917 --> 00:26:26,336
Watching them, you'd never know
they were playing at home.

505
00:26:26,420 --> 00:26:29,590
They were too timid.
They were too respectful of United.

506
00:26:29,673 --> 00:26:32,551
They were lucky they didn't lose
by three or four or ten.

507
00:26:32,634 --> 00:26:36,096
That's harsh, Roy.
United's been on a good run recently.

508
00:26:36,180 --> 00:26:37,556
Who gives a shit, Chris?

509
00:26:38,849 --> 00:26:41,727
That's no excuse
to play like you're afraid of 'em.

510
00:26:41,810 --> 00:26:44,688
You could see it in their faces:
abject terror.

511
00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:47,983
Like children waiting in line
for the handsy Father Christmas.

512
00:26:48,066 --> 00:26:51,904
Have some fucking pride
in your shirt or don't fucking wear it.

513
00:26:52,988 --> 00:26:54,907
Roy Kent, you fucking legend!

514
00:26:54,990 --> 00:26:57,784
-I mean, that is how you do it!
-I enjoy his candor.

515
00:26:57,868 --> 00:27:02,206
Again, we apologize
for almost every word Roy just said.

516
00:27:11,757 --> 00:27:14,092
Higgins,
as a founding member of the Diamond Dogs,

517
00:27:14,176 --> 00:27:17,137
it breaks our little bowwow hearts
to see you wandering around this building.

518
00:27:17,221 --> 00:27:18,472
A man without a desk.

519
00:27:18,555 --> 00:27:21,308
So we'd like to ask you to move in with us
down here with my man, Nate.

520
00:27:21,391 --> 00:27:22,851
What do you say?

521
00:27:24,019 --> 00:27:27,189
That would be perfect.
I mean, only if it's okay with Nathan.

522
00:27:28,941 --> 00:27:30,192
Yeah, of course.

523
00:27:30,275 --> 00:27:31,693
Roomies!

524
00:27:32,736 --> 00:27:34,154
Oops, sorry.

525
00:27:34,238 --> 00:27:35,364
Now, before y'all bounce,

526
00:27:35,447 --> 00:27:37,866
I do have one piece of football business
we need to discuss.

527
00:27:37,950 --> 00:27:39,952
And that is Jamie Tartt's future
with this team.

528
00:27:40,035 --> 00:27:42,037
-I thought that was settled.
-Well, I did too.

529
00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:44,122
Then I was talking to Sam,
and he unsettled it.

530
00:27:44,790 --> 00:27:46,625
-Sam wants Jamie back?
-No, no.

531
00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:50,379
Sam just reminded me
that he himself has got a great dad.

532
00:27:50,462 --> 00:27:51,797
Not everyone has that.

533
00:27:52,422 --> 00:27:54,091
And isn't the idea of "never give up"

534
00:27:54,174 --> 00:27:56,093
one of them things
we always talk about in sports?

535
00:27:56,176 --> 00:27:57,678
And shouldn't that apply to people too?

536
00:27:57,761 --> 00:28:00,556
Two aces is very tempting.
Could be exactly what we need.

537
00:28:01,348 --> 00:28:04,226
But it could also ruin morale
to have someone in here

538
00:28:04,309 --> 00:28:06,144
just belittling everyone all the ti--

539
00:28:06,228 --> 00:28:09,523
Will! Will! Not beneath the lockers.
On the bench, man. Come on.

540
00:28:10,023 --> 00:28:11,024
Sorry.

541
00:28:12,901 --> 00:28:13,944
What a doughnut.

542
00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:16,738
What was I saying?

543
00:28:17,531 --> 00:28:20,450
-What about you, Coach?
-Pro: He's a great player.

544
00:28:20,534 --> 00:28:23,453
Con: He's a poop in the punch bowl.

545
00:28:24,037 --> 00:28:27,749
All right, Diamond Dogs, as canines,
we are supposed to lack opposable digits.

546
00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:30,002
But right now I'm gonna ask you:
thumbs up or thumbs down?

547
00:28:37,426 --> 00:28:40,220
Okay. Okay.

548
00:28:47,895 --> 00:28:48,896
Hi.

549
00:28:50,606 --> 00:28:51,815
How'd it go?

550
00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:56,028
Come on, babe. Say something.

551
00:28:56,111 --> 00:28:57,988
What, you just gonna pretend
like you hated it?

552
00:28:59,072 --> 00:29:00,282
You were amazing.

553
00:29:01,575 --> 00:29:04,536
-Shit, you really did hate it.
-May I have your phone?

554
00:29:06,455 --> 00:29:07,456
Roy, I'm really sorry.

555
00:29:07,539 --> 00:29:08,707
It's just that--

556
00:29:08,790 --> 00:29:11,835
I mean, not that it matters--
But everyone over there, they loved you.

557
00:29:11,919 --> 00:29:13,879
And Twitter was going cuckoo
for Coco Pops.

558
00:29:15,255 --> 00:29:17,758
But you don't ever have to do it again
if you don't want to, so…

559
00:29:18,342 --> 00:29:19,343
Here.

560
00:29:21,136 --> 00:29:22,930
Felt good to be back around the game.

561
00:29:23,013 --> 00:29:24,640
Oh, good.

562
00:29:26,266 --> 00:29:27,267
What are you doing?

563
00:29:27,809 --> 00:29:30,896
You helped me to help myself. Again.

564
00:29:31,897 --> 00:29:33,440
So I wanted to thank you properly.

565
00:29:34,775 --> 00:29:35,776
Hit play.

566
00:29:37,736 --> 00:29:39,238
I am announcing…

567
00:29:42,616 --> 00:29:43,951
my retirement…

568
00:29:45,202 --> 00:29:46,203
from--

569
00:30:03,971 --> 00:30:05,389
Hey, there she is.

570
00:30:06,014 --> 00:30:07,558
Good night, Coach Lasso.

571
00:30:07,641 --> 00:30:10,394
And thank you for letting me
observe training today.

572
00:30:11,228 --> 00:30:14,398
Some coaches get quite conspiratorial
at the notion.

573
00:30:14,982 --> 00:30:17,401
Well, I didn't know I had a choice.
I'm just goofing.

574
00:30:17,484 --> 00:30:20,153
Besides, most of my conspiracies
revolve around the Freemasons

575
00:30:20,237 --> 00:30:22,155
on account of a couple
different Disney cartoons

576
00:30:22,239 --> 00:30:23,490
I watched a bunch as a kid.

577
00:30:23,574 --> 00:30:26,368
I'll email you and your staff
my takeaways when I get home.

578
00:30:26,451 --> 00:30:28,287
Well, hey. Come on. Let 'er rip right now.

579
00:30:28,370 --> 00:30:29,580
Reading that email will be like

580
00:30:29,663 --> 00:30:31,331
listening to a cover tune
of your thoughts.

581
00:30:31,415 --> 00:30:34,168
Rather hear this tune for the first time
from the original artist.

582
00:30:34,251 --> 00:30:36,378
-Well, if you insist.
-I do.

583
00:30:36,461 --> 00:30:38,130
There's a wonderful atmosphere here.

584
00:30:39,173 --> 00:30:43,802
All the employees are thoughtful and kind,
and they actually listen to one another.

585
00:30:43,886 --> 00:30:45,554
Yeah, I've noticed the same thing.

586
00:30:46,555 --> 00:30:47,973
Well, hey, let me ask you this now.

587
00:30:48,056 --> 00:30:49,099
You think we got ourselves

588
00:30:49,183 --> 00:30:51,685
a "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"
situation here or what?

589
00:30:51,768 --> 00:30:53,145
That depends.

590
00:30:53,228 --> 00:30:57,524
Does everyone agree that being winless
with eight straight draws "ain't broke"?

591
00:30:59,151 --> 00:31:00,152
Yeah.

592
00:31:01,195 --> 00:31:04,323
Heavy is the head that wears the visor,
Coach Lasso.

593
00:31:05,490 --> 00:31:07,367
You must have a lot on your mind.

594
00:31:08,577 --> 00:31:11,413
I hope we get a chance to sit down
and talk about it all someday.

595
00:31:11,496 --> 00:31:12,956
Yeah. No, I look forward to that.

596
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,460
All right. Good night, Doc…tor! Doctor.

597
00:31:16,543 --> 00:31:17,544
Sorry.

598
00:31:18,128 --> 00:31:19,922
You can call me Doc. It's okay.

599
00:31:20,005 --> 00:31:22,549
Oh, thank God.
I mean, that's been killing me.

600
00:31:22,633 --> 00:31:24,718
You saw it, you know.
It's just such a good nickname.

601
00:31:24,801 --> 00:31:26,261
Prince of Tides.

602
00:31:26,345 --> 00:31:27,721
Is that your nickname for me now?

603
00:31:27,804 --> 00:31:30,766
No, Coach Lasso. My favorite book.

604
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,408
The people at Dubai Air
have asked specifically for Sam.

605
00:31:48,492 --> 00:31:50,953
There's a photo shoot set up for Friday.

606
00:31:51,036 --> 00:31:54,248
Good for him.
That young man deserves some recognition.

607
00:31:54,331 --> 00:31:55,332
Yeah.

608
00:31:57,084 --> 00:32:00,462
Hello. Sorry to interrupt.
I'm Sharon Fieldstone.

609
00:32:00,546 --> 00:32:03,590
Yes. Oh, it is lovely to meet you,
Dr. Fieldstone.

610
00:32:03,674 --> 00:32:06,844
-Please, call me Sharon. Hi.
-Hi! Lovely to meet you.

611
00:32:06,927 --> 00:32:08,387
I just wanted to stop by

612
00:32:08,470 --> 00:32:10,848
and thank you for the lovely gift basket
of bottled water.

613
00:32:10,931 --> 00:32:13,433
Yes, well, Ted said you didn't eat sugar.

614
00:32:13,517 --> 00:32:15,310
So many other things
don't have sugar in them.

615
00:32:16,311 --> 00:32:19,022
I really am glad that you're joining us.

616
00:32:19,106 --> 00:32:22,568
I hope that you'll be just the boost
we need to get things going around here.

617
00:32:22,651 --> 00:32:23,986
Wouldn't you say, Higgins?

618
00:32:26,196 --> 00:32:27,197
Leslie?

619
00:32:27,823 --> 00:32:29,366
Sorry, I was just…