1
00:00:01,877 --> 00:00:04,086
[Arlo] And we're in the final minute
of added time.
2
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:09,218
AFC Richmond and Nottingham Forest are
level with two goals apiece.
3
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:15,182
Obisanya switches play.
He finds Rojas, who has room.
4
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:16,265
Oh!
5
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:18,894
[whistle blows]
6
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,729
[Arlo] And it's a penalty!
7
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:21,980
[cheering]
8
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:25,776
A giant opportunity for the Greyhounds
to change their club's tide here.
9
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,110
Nice pass, Sam!
10
00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:28,654
Here we go, Dani!
11
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:29,905
-Yeah! Yes!
-Nice, nice.
12
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:34,034
[Arlo] Huge relief for Colin Hughes after
he was liable for Forest's equalizer.
13
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,413
Richmond has started the season
with seven straight ties...
14
00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:40,749
and if this match ends in a draw,
they will tie the record,
15
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:44,586
which is currently
a tie between Southampton and Swansea.
16
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:45,838
Chris, can you even imagine
17
00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:48,590
starting a season
with seven consecutive draws?
18
00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:50,133
I sure can, Arlo.
19
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:53,220
And that's because I'm a right-brained
dominant with a knack for make-believe.
20
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,640
Is it okay if I pray?
21
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,643
Yeah, of course. But to which god
and in what language, you know?
22
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,144
You could cross your fingers, make a wish.
23
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,229
There you go.
24
00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:06,817
[Arlo] The Richmond faithful,
who've recently gone through so much,
25
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,194
still fervently behind their club.
26
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,154
Keep on him.
27
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:15,242
-Ooh.
-Go on. Yeah!
28
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:19,538
[Arlo] And a hush falls over Nelson Road...
29
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,206
-[dog howling]
-[bird wings flapping]
30
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:25,169
[Arlo] With the exception of
Richmond's venerable mascot,
31
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:28,297
Earl Greyhound, howling his encouragement.
32
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:29,840
[whistle blows]
33
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:36,305
Will Dani Rojas deliver the good boy
their first win of the season?
34
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:37,514
Please, please, please, please.
35
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:38,765
Come on, Dani.
36
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,934
[breathes deeply]
37
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,103
Football is life.
38
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,048
[Earl yelps]
39
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,424
[crowd gasping] Oh!
40
00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:13,509
Oh.
41
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:17,221
-Oh, no.
-Oh, my God.
42
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,223
I promise that's not what I wished for.
43
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:23,018
[theme music plays]
44
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:46,792
[sighs]
That poor creature. It's so tragic.
45
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,085
Awful turn of events.
46
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,337
You don't think that people will hate us
because of it, do you?
47
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,839
Well, it was obviously
a horrible accident,
48
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,091
but I guess that one perk of being
in a lower division now
49
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,468
is that not every game is televised.
50
00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:58,428
Yes, but, Higgins, the Internet.
51
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,722
-Oh, right, the goddamn Internet.
-[sighs]
52
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:03,016
Oi, Twitter is going bonkers. Look.
53
00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:06,812
Oh, God. Did we really make
Michael Jordan cry?
54
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,605
-Did you write a statement for Ted?
-Yeah, I did.
55
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:12,442
But then he said, "Now, don't you fret,
Boba Fett." He's got it covered.
56
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,403
-Okay.
-Mmm. Mmm.
57
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,238
-[journalists clamoring] Coach!
-All right, Marcus,
58
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:17,698
-what do you got for me?
-Coach Lasso,
59
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,992
how are you feeling about
the team's efforts today?
60
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:22,536
Well, I feel like everyone played
their hearts out, especially Sam.
61
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:23,829
Just gets better and better every game.
62
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,957
He's really helping us fill
that giant Roy Kent void, you know.
63
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,001
And how many more matches you think
can end in a draw
64
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,252
before you hit the panic button?
65
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:33,297
Well, Marcus, there's two buttons
I never like to hit, all right?
66
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,631
And that's "panic" and "snooze."
67
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,175
-Who else?
-[journalists clamoring]
68
00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:37,968
Uh, what about this fella right here?
69
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,388
-Trent Crimm--
-[journalists] The Independent.
70
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:46,435
I was wondering if you had any comments
on Earl, the dog Dani Rojas killed today.
71
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:51,023
Mmm. Trent Crimm, bringing that heat.
[chuckles]
72
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,277
[sighs deeply]
73
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:56,904
Yeah.
74
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,783
Well, when I was three years old,
I got attacked by our neighbor's dog.
75
00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:04,912
I don't remember it happening,
but my mother said it was pretty--
76
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,205
pretty scary, you know.
77
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:10,125
I do remember being afraid of dogs
while growing up though.
78
00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:12,669
Like if I was at a friend's house
for a sleepover or something,
79
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:16,173
they'd have to keep their family dog
outside, otherwise I'd bawl my eyes out.
80
00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:17,548
-[chuckles]
-[journalists chuckle]
81
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:22,721
Then in high school, our neighbor,
Mr. Grady, well, his wife passed away.
82
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,933
And he was real sad about that,
as you can imagine,
83
00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:29,520
and he just kinda stopped
taking care of their dog.
84
00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,898
Same one that bit me. His name was Hank.
85
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,570
And so I started looking after him,
you know.
86
00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:41,573
Feeding him, taking him on walks,
playing fetch, all that fun stuff.
87
00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:45,327
Eventually, Mr. Grady's son moved
his dad into a nursing home,
88
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:48,247
and he asked if I wanted to keep Hank,
and I was like, "Yeah. Heck, yeah."
89
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,292
And then a year or so after that
we had to put Hank to sleep.
90
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,589
It's funny to think about
the things in your life...
91
00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:02,177
that can make you cry just knowing
that they existed,
92
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,054
can then become
the same thing that make you cry
93
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,681
knowing that they're now gone.
94
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:12,855
I think those things come into our lives...
95
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,191
to help us get from one place
to a better one.
96
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:22,281
And I hope we helped Earl do just that.
97
00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:25,784
We gonna miss him around here
a whole bunch. Yeah.
98
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,083
And how's Dani doing?
99
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:34,793
I haven't spoken with him yet,
100
00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:37,462
but I just hope he's not being
too hard on himself, you know.
101
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:40,257
[praying in Spanish]
102
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,176
He's been like this for 20 minutes.
103
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,139
He's gonna use all the hot water.
104
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,558
-Yeah.
-Yeah, you're right.
105
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,643
[praying continues]
106
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,655
Hey, Dani. What ya doing?
107
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,283
Washing the death off of me.
108
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,543
Well, I-- I recommend
you use a little soap.
109
00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:20,547
Helps get the eternal rest out of those
tough-to-reach places, you know.
110
00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:21,882
Gracias, Coach.
111
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:26,428
Well, hey, don't forget,
football is life, right?
112
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,849
I know. It used to be.
113
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:37,105
-[praying in Spanish]
-[mouthing] I got nothing.
114
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,615
Okay, so, fellas,
115
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:49,284
let's go ahead and give Dani
a little bit of space right now, yeah?
116
00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:50,953
Y'all don't mind showering at home, do ya?
117
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,663
Ooh, Coach, uh, if it's okay with you,
118
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,540
some of us prefer
to take long baths at home.
119
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,542
[players] Yeah, yeah.
120
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,252
Oh. Yeah, no, okay, that'll work too.
121
00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,671
Oh, and hey, way to play out there today.
122
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,381
Y'all kicked their butts
from soup to nuts.
123
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,882
Don't worry, we gonna get a W soon.
124
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,176
We'll see you goldfish on Monday.
125
00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:07,845
Goldfish?
126
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:11,014
Oh, it means to forget our mistakes
and failures and just move on.
127
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:14,560
But I didn't make any mistakes.
Only you played poorly.
128
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:17,229
[players] Ooh. Wow.
129
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,648
Hey, guys, Jan Maas is not being rude.
130
00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:20,732
He's just being Dutch.
131
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,902
-[player 1] Mm? Yeah, yeah.
-[player 2] True.
132
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:26,613
-[cell phone beeps, vibrates]
-[sighs]
133
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,704
I'm telling you,
all these ties are my fault.
134
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,623
It's straight up celestial payback
for the Man City game.
135
00:07:36,707 --> 00:07:39,626
There I was wishing and hoping
for a freaking tie,
136
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:41,295
and now the karma police are making good
137
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,547
on showing me what I get
when I mess with them.
138
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,924
The team's playing well, Ted,
just a little unlucky, that's all.
139
00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:49,303
"Unlucky." Yeah. Man, I love the way
y'all use that word over here.
140
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,805
Back home, if a team was playing poorly,
we don't call 'em unlucky.
141
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,932
-What do we call 'em, Coach?
-New York Jets.
142
00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:55,642
-There it is.
-Hey, Coach.
143
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,978
Uh, sorry to interrupt.
Uh, can I leave a little early today?
144
00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:00,480
But part of your job is to stay
until the whole team's gone.
145
00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:03,442
No, yes, of course. It's just,
it's my mum's 50th birthday--
146
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:04,943
Oh. Oh.
147
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:07,154
And w-what position does your mum play
on the team again?
148
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:11,325
It's okay, Will. Uh, tell your mom
a happy birthday from all of us,
149
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,619
and if she ever wants to try out
for the team, she's more than welcome.
150
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:14,912
Ah, lovely. [chuckles]
151
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,707
[sighs]
152
00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:22,294
Y-You gotta stay on 'em.
153
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,755
Pressure makes pearls, right?
154
00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,341
-Mmm.
-Wait, that's wrong.
155
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,885
It's diamonds-- Shit! I messed it up.
156
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,512
No, you didn't mess it up.
You were just, uh--
157
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,096
-Unlucky.
-Yes!
158
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,893
-[cell phone beeps]
-Ooh, thanks.
159
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:39,645
That's odd.
160
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:43,565
We just received a giant food delivery
from our rivals over at Brentford F.C.
161
00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:45,192
That's nice. What kind of food?
162
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,276
Thai.
163
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,112
-Oh, now I get it.
-[sighs]
164
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,364
-[knocks]
-Howdy, y'all.
165
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:51,782
[all] Ted!
166
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,660
What do you say to a cocktail,
Coach Lasso?
167
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,411
Oh, the same thing I'd say to Diane Sawyer
168
00:08:56,495 --> 00:08:58,413
if she ever asked me out on a date:
"Yes, please."
169
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:02,376
Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. Hmm.
170
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:03,961
How you feeling?
171
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,796
Well, Keeley, I feel like
172
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,215
a bigger loser than
the biggest loser from The Biggest Loser.
173
00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:10,759
Oh, look on the bright side, Ted.
174
00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:13,011
We are still undefeated.
175
00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:14,555
Okay, sure. Thank you.
176
00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:16,098
How's Dani doing?
177
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:19,059
Oh, he's a little shell-shocked,
178
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:21,103
but Dani's a lot like
an expensive tape measure.
179
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,354
He snaps back real quick.
180
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:23,313
-[Rebecca] Hmm.
-Yeah.
181
00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:24,815
What about Earl's owner?
He doing all right?
182
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,859
-Yeah, fortunately he is.
-Oh, good.
183
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:29,570
Yes, and you're now looking at
the very new, very generous,
184
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:33,824
very guilt-riddled benefactor
of Richmond's largest dog shelter.
185
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,159
-Barkingham Palace.
-[Rebecca chuckles]
186
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,870
-Mmm. It's a good name.
-[Keeley] Mm-hmm.
187
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,623
-To Earl.
-Mmm.
188
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,001
Okay, I should go.
189
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,753
I promised the boys we'd watch
Empire Strikes Back tonight,
190
00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:48,547
and I have to get my thoughts together
191
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,008
for when they ask
about Luke and Leia making out.
192
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,135
-Oh, right.
-[sighs, sucks teeth] Wish me luck.
193
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,469
Good luck, Higgins.
194
00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:55,596
Bye, Leslie.
195
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,432
-Hey. May the force be with you.
-And also with you.
196
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,184
-All right.
-[cell phone beeps]
197
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,186
-Oh, my God!
-[gasps] Oh, is that him?
198
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,812
-Yes, yes, yes. [squeals]
-Come on! Oh, good!
199
00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:04,813
-[squeals]
-[chuckles]
200
00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:06,148
[squeals] Okay.
201
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,524
-Hey, him who?
-[both] Shh.
202
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,402
-And?
-Well, I mean...
203
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,654
-Okay, but?
-Oh, no. Totally.
204
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:14,489
-Good, I'm proud of you.
-[giggles] Thanks.
205
00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:15,866
Am I allowed to speak yet?
206
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,744
Oh, sorry, Ted.
It's just a little bit of girl talk
207
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:22,247
about a gentleman suitor
I've gone out with a few times.
208
00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:25,083
-[both giggling]
-Nice. A little girl talk. I get it.
209
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,002
-What's his name--
-[both] Shh.
210
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,171
-Oh.
-[sighs]
211
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,300
Are you guys up for a double date
next week? Let him prove his mettle.
212
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:36,094
-Abso-fucking-lutely.
-Can you ask Roy if he's free?
213
00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:37,429
-He's free. Don't worry.
-Okay, cool.
214
00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:39,223
H-Hey, did Roy come to the game today?
215
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,433
Oh, no, he didn't. Sorry, Ted.
216
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:43,894
Oh, no, that's okay. I'm sure
he'll swing by at some point, right?
217
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:47,022
Hey, he knows he's always got a ticket
waiting for him at will call, yeah?
218
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,106
-Yeah.
-Good, okay.
219
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:50,859
And don't forget,
I don't put it under his name.
220
00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:52,903
I don't want folks messing with him.
It's under an alias.
221
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:56,406
Like, last week it was, um, uh,
Loretta Lynn, this week was Dolly Parton,
222
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:59,117
and next week is, if I remember correctly,
Shania Twain.
223
00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:00,369
[chuckles] Just brilliant.
224
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:01,537
And it's nothing personal.
225
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,914
It's just that he's been so busy
with this new coaching gig.
226
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,291
Oi! You listen to me!
227
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:10,337
You play like that next week,
you can kiss the trophy goodbye,
228
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:14,550
'cause today, you all played like
a bunch of little pricks!
229
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:15,634
You hear me?
230
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,344
[all] Yes, Coach!
231
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:20,389
Except for Kokoruda. Way to put
your body on the line out there.
232
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,391
You know it, Coach.
233
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:25,310
All right,
Monika's mum brought orange slices.
234
00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:27,396
Don't eat the peels, you animals.
Off you go.
235
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,065
-Keeley!
-Hey, Phoebs!
236
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,944
Coach Kent. They're eight years old.
237
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,655
-You can't call them little pricks.
-Sorry, Ms. Bowen.
238
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,365
Even when they're being little pricks.
239
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,242
See you on Monday at school, girls.
240
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,952
-Bye, Ms. Bowen.
-Hey, babe.
241
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,453
-[girl] Bye, Ms. Bowen.
-[kisses]
242
00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:46,331
-All right, who wants some hot chocolate?
-[gasps] Me!
243
00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:48,208
-I do.
-Yeah, let's go! [chuckles]
244
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,005
Oh.
245
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:54,673
Oh! Before I forget,
246
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,176
Rebecca wanted to see if we could do
some double date action next week.
247
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:58,635
Fucking hell.
248
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:01,972
Bad word, Uncle Roy. You owe me one quid.
249
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,223
Put it on my tab.
250
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,350
-Can you hold this, please?
-Course.
251
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,102
Come on. It'll be fun.
252
00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:10,564
-Fine.
-Thank you.
253
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,608
-Mmm.
-[chuckles]
254
00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:14,193
Phoebe, how was the match today?
255
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:16,320
-Outstanding.
-Yeah?
256
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,906
I got a red card
for elbowing a girl in her neck.
257
00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:20,908
And I'm very proud.
258
00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:23,493
-What?
-[chuckles]
259
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:28,040
Well, I know that you guys
are just gonna smash it next week.
260
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:29,499
Me too.
261
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:31,877
So once the season's over,
262
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,545
you're gonna have more time
to see some friends, right?
263
00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:35,339
I see friends all the time.
264
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,715
I know. You got your yoga mums.
265
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,844
Don't you ever want anything more than
sitting in child's pose,
266
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:43,305
getting buzzed on rosé,
and gossiping about reality TV
267
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:45,432
with a bunch of women
that know nothing about you?
268
00:12:45,516 --> 00:12:47,893
-No, I love it.
-Mmm.
269
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,314
Sky Sports reached out again.
270
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:53,565
No.
271
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:54,650
I think it's a good idea.
272
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:58,487
Last time I did one of your good ideas,
I made a fucking fool of myself.
273
00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:02,783
Your retirement press conference was
beautiful, Roy. People loved it.
274
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,493
It got, like, 15 million views.
275
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:07,871
Wait, so your way of alleviating
my embarrassment is to tell me
276
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:10,457
how many millions of people have
seen me look like a knob?
277
00:13:10,541 --> 00:13:12,876
[chuckles] Good point.
278
00:13:13,669 --> 00:13:16,463
I just wanna go on record saying that
I think you'd be an amazing pundit.
279
00:13:16,547 --> 00:13:18,715
I don't wanna be
a fucking football pundit,
280
00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,717
sat on fucking telly
in a dumb fucking suit
281
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,010
like a know-it-all twat.
282
00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:23,846
It's a shit job for shit people.
283
00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:27,307
I'd rather shit out my own fucking mouth
than do that fucking shit.
284
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:29,434
Got it.
285
00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:31,478
Oi, Phoebs, where we at now?
286
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:35,941
£1,236.
287
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,068
Impressive.
288
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:42,030
[Arlo] And it's déjà vu all over again
289
00:13:42,114 --> 00:13:46,118
as Dani Rojas has
another injury-time penalty kick
290
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:49,663
to put Richmond in the win column
for the first time this season.
291
00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:53,959
If he can get it past
this adorable goalkeeper.
292
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,085
[dog panting]
293
00:13:57,546 --> 00:14:02,134
Oh, gamesmanship from the keeper.
How will Rojas respond?
294
00:14:04,595 --> 00:14:06,013
[dog grunting]
295
00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:08,223
Hmm?
296
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,267
-[dog squeals]
-[gasps]
297
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,060
[panting]
298
00:14:12,144 --> 00:14:15,063
Football is death!
299
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,445
-[knocks]
-Oh, come in.
300
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,613
Morning, boss.
301
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:23,864
Oh, hi, Ted.
302
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,451
Yikes. I haven't seen someone
that disappointed to see me
303
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:30,245
since I wore a red baseball cap
to a Planned Parenthood fundraiser.
304
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:34,917
Sorry, Ted. You're right.
I-- I was just hoping you were Keeley.
305
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,461
That's okay. I wish I was Keeley
three, four times a day.
306
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,754
-Here you go.
-Thank you.
307
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:41,173
Let me guess. You got a fever for
the flavor of a little girl talk?
308
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,426
Well, shoot,
why don't you let me take a crack at it?
309
00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:45,844
-Really?
-Yeah, why not?
310
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:47,804
Oh. Okay, what the hell.
311
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,349
Uh, so this, um,
chap I've been seeing, John.
312
00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:51,642
Stamos?
313
00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:54,102
No, his name's John Wingsnight.
314
00:14:54,186 --> 00:14:55,187
-Okay.
-But that's not the point.
315
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,564
Mm-hmm. Now hold on a second.
His name's John Wingsnight?
316
00:14:57,648 --> 00:14:58,982
-Yes.
-Like at a sports bar?
317
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,235
Like, "Monday night's wings night
down at PJ Flatts," like that?
318
00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:03,111
Ted, would you please stop?
319
00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:05,489
Rule number one:
Even though it's called "girl talk,"
320
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,533
sometimes it needs to be
more like, "Girl, listen."
321
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:10,118
Got it. Learning on the fly here.
Come on. Hit me.
322
00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:14,790
All right, thank you. So, John, um,
I mean-- I mean, he's a wonderful man.
323
00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:18,418
-He's very handsome, um, successful.
-Ooh. Nice.
324
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:20,337
-Not shy.
-Mmm, is he nice to you?
325
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,674
Uh, yes. Yes, very.
326
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,843
-Good. Yeah, he sounds great.
-Mmm.
327
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,719
So I'm confused. Is there a problem here?
328
00:15:27,803 --> 00:15:28,804
Well...
329
00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:32,266
Actually, I suppose not.
330
00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:34,226
Okay.
331
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:36,770
Okay, so rule number two is
332
00:15:36,854 --> 00:15:39,857
sometimes girl talk can just be
blabbing away about stuff,
333
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,734
and nothing has to really change,
and no one has to solve anything?
334
00:15:42,818 --> 00:15:43,944
Yeah, that's exactly right.
335
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,362
I love it. Let's keep going.
336
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,447
Right, so... [clears throat] Come.
337
00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:48,657
Ooh.
338
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,075
-Okay.
-Mmm.
339
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:52,870
Hey, sorry I'm late, fellas.
340
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:55,455
I was helping the boss pick out
a nail polish color for her date tonight.
341
00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:57,666
My favorite's the blue,
but I think they all kinda rock.
342
00:15:57,749 --> 00:15:59,084
What do guys you think?
343
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:02,254
-What's wrong?
-We got a situation, Coach.
344
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:04,423
He's underselling.
We have a Shakespearean fucking tragedy.
345
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:05,716
[players] Take it easy, Dani.
346
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:07,801
Come on, Dani. One more time, yeah?
Have another go.
347
00:16:07,885 --> 00:16:08,886
[players cheering]
348
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,346
[Isaac]
Come on, Dani. Come on.
349
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:13,807
[breathing heavily]
350
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,562
-[Dani grunts]
-[players] Oh!
351
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:21,940
-[car alarm]
-[speaking Spanish]
352
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,483
-[car alarm chirps]
-How many has he missed?
353
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:24,568
All of them.
354
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:27,362
Oh, boy. Okay. Hey, Dani!
355
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:30,032
Come on, son. Let's take a walk.
356
00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,660
Wow. We're watching
the end of someone's career.
357
00:16:33,744 --> 00:16:34,745
Not now, Jan.
358
00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:36,914
[panting] Uh, s-sorry, Coach.
359
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,999
No, no need to apologize.
360
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:44,129
Dani, what happened between you and Earl,
that wasn't your fault, you know.
361
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,633
You suffered an unlikely
and tragic coincidence.
362
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:49,676
Not too dissimilar from those seen
363
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,596
throughout Paul Thomas Anderson's
1999 opus, Magnolia.
364
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,766
Is that Tom Cruise
with a little, tiny ponytail?
365
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:58,352
No, Dani. I think you're thinking about
The Last Samurai.
366
00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:00,562
He's got a little, tiny ponytail
in Magnolia too, Coach.
367
00:17:00,646 --> 00:17:01,772
Oh, thank you, Coach.
368
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,357
My apologies, Dani.
369
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,068
Tom Cruise was rocking a little,
tiny ponytail in both those films.
370
00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:07,528
-Okay.
-Point is,
371
00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:09,613
it's a tragic occurrence, all right?
372
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:11,949
A one-time thing.
373
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,742
So let's get away from the bad mojo
coming off that penalty box and,
374
00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,078
you know, have some fun.
375
00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:17,788
Let's kick some corners, right?
376
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:18,872
-Right. [sniffs]
-Yeah?
377
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:21,375
Hey, fellas! Line up for Midnight Poutine!
378
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,377
-[players cheer]
-Yeah, there we go.
379
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:24,711
Help you get your feel back.
380
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,130
[straining]
381
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:30,425
-All right, Dani.
-Okay, Coach.
382
00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:32,177
Take a deep breath, yeah?
383
00:17:32,803 --> 00:17:34,513
I want you to picture the shot.
384
00:17:35,973 --> 00:17:38,392
Be the ball, Dani. Now kick it.
385
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:43,772
-Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh.
-[players chuckle]
386
00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:45,023
Ooh! [laughs]
387
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,149
Oh, boy.
388
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:48,026
-That's all right. That's all right.
-[sighs]
389
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:53,240
Well, fellas, I am more stumped than
Paul Bunyan's local forest, you know th--
390
00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:57,327
Ow! Ooh, that hurt. Ay, ay, ay.
[sucks teeth] Any ideas?
391
00:17:57,411 --> 00:18:00,622
If Dani needs motivation, we could always
just show him his goddamn paycheck.
392
00:18:02,416 --> 00:18:05,043
I mean, that's a tad aggressive, you know.
393
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:07,462
But hey, I shouldn't bring
an umbrella to a brainstorm,
394
00:18:07,546 --> 00:18:08,964
so I appreciate
you getting the ball rolling, Nate.
395
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:10,340
Yeah.
396
00:18:10,424 --> 00:18:12,843
Seems like the first thing we need to do
is define the issue, yeah?
397
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,011
True that.
398
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,971
I think we already know what it is,
don't we, Coach?
399
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:17,431
What you talking about, Willis?
400
00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:20,267
Hey, you're not supposed
to say that out loud.
401
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,727
Which is why I wrote it down.
402
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:23,896
-"The yips"?
-Shh!
403
00:18:24,897 --> 00:18:26,273
-What are the yips?
-Shh!
404
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,941
Are you kidding me, you two?
405
00:18:29,735 --> 00:18:31,820
We don't say the Y-word out loud,
you understand?
406
00:18:31,904 --> 00:18:33,697
It's like saying Macbeth in a theater,
407
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,532
or Voldemort at Hogwarts, or, uh...
408
00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:37,201
-Soccer in England.
-Bingo.
409
00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:39,870
But what are [mouthing] the yips?
410
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,413
It's when, just out of nowhere,
411
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:44,583
an athlete suddenly can't do
the basic fundamentals of their sport.
412
00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:46,460
Yeah, you know,
like Chuck Knoblauch's throw to first,
413
00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:48,962
or, uh, Charles Barkley's golf swing.
414
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,632
You guys know what I mean.
415
00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:56,053
Yeesh, sometimes being here is like
living in a foreign country.
416
00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:57,679
-You ever feel that way?
-Yeah.
417
00:18:57,763 --> 00:18:59,389
Ted, what are your thoughts on therapy?
418
00:19:00,516 --> 00:19:05,103
Uh, general apprehension and a modest
Midwestern skepticism. Why do you ask?
419
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:07,606
Well, maybe we should
bring in a sports psychologist.
420
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:10,901
I know a lot of other clubs have had
tremendous success with that.
421
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:11,985
Hmm.
422
00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:13,779
It's not a bad idea, Coach.
423
00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:15,781
Mm-hmm.
424
00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:20,244
-Mmm.
-Mm-hmm. Okay. [inhales deeply]
425
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,080
Yeah, um, hold on.
426
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:26,792
Let me think here.
Let me get my thinking thing on, okay.
427
00:19:28,252 --> 00:19:29,294
Yeah, let's do it.
428
00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:32,714
[ambient jazz music playing]
429
00:19:32,798 --> 00:19:36,134
And now, we're nose-to-nose with
one another, and half of me is thinking,
430
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,886
-"Just kick this jerk in the balls...
-[chuckles]
431
00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:39,471
...and when he bends over,
give him a knee to the nose
432
00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:41,682
and be done with it,
'cause screw this guy."
433
00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:44,393
And the other half of me is thinking,
"But it's Martin Short.
434
00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:46,144
-You love Martin Short."
-Mmm.
435
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:48,981
Well, the next thing you know,
this tiny American woman says,
436
00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:50,482
"Is that it?" [laughs]
437
00:19:50,566 --> 00:19:53,443
And sure enough, there it was,
wedged between the couch cushions,
438
00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:55,696
-Martin Short's wallet. [laughs]
-Martin Short's wallet.
439
00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:57,614
I mean, he didn't steal it.
440
00:19:57,698 --> 00:19:59,908
-[laughing] No!
-Wow, that's insane. [chuckles]
441
00:19:59,992 --> 00:20:02,536
That's madness.
Could I get another one, please?
442
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:05,664
God, I never knew that meet and greets
at Broadway shows could be
443
00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:07,708
such hotbeds for, like, almost violence.
444
00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:10,919
Oh, big-time. But who cares about
Martin Short when you're sitting next to
445
00:20:11,003 --> 00:20:14,047
"He's here, he's there,
he's every-fucking-where, Roy Kent,"
446
00:20:14,131 --> 00:20:16,258
-Roy Kent!
-John's football-mad.
447
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,927
Oh, terrific. Who do you support?
448
00:20:19,011 --> 00:20:21,388
Well, I bounce back and forward
between United and City.
449
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,223
Whichever club's winning, typically.
450
00:20:23,307 --> 00:20:25,309
-I love it.
-Sounds like it.
451
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,852
So, how's retirement, Roy?
452
00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:29,688
I mean, I can't imagine
how different your life must be now.
453
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,231
You must miss it all like mad, yeah?
454
00:20:32,149 --> 00:20:34,026
-I don't.
-Hmm.
455
00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:35,444
So what are you doing now then?
456
00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:37,946
-Oh, you know, busy, busy.
-Ah.
457
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,531
I'm actually doing a bit of coaching
at the moment.
458
00:20:39,615 --> 00:20:42,993
-I hadn't heard that. Fantastic.
-Yeah. We got a cup final next week.
459
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,620
In October... W-What cup's that?
460
00:20:45,204 --> 00:20:46,914
West London under-nine girls.
461
00:20:48,332 --> 00:20:49,625
Can I get another one, please?
462
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:52,586
He's actually had
an offer from Sky Sports to be a pundit.
463
00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:55,672
Oh, of course you have.
You'd be amazing at that job.
464
00:20:55,756 --> 00:20:57,049
I love that idea.
465
00:20:57,716 --> 00:21:00,344
I couldn't agree more.
466
00:21:01,053 --> 00:21:03,472
Can I just say that
your retirement speech was amazing.
467
00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:05,182
It's the first time
my father's forwarded me
468
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:08,769
an e-mail in the last five years that
wasn't about the scourge of immigration.
469
00:21:08,852 --> 00:21:10,854
And that really meant a lot to me,
so thank you.
470
00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:13,065
Cheers.
471
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,817
It must've been super weird
afterwards though, right?
472
00:21:15,901 --> 00:21:17,361
I'm gonna need two more of these, please.
473
00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:23,742
[Mae] Here you go, gentlemen.
474
00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:24,826
-Thank you, Mae.
-Thanks, Mae.
475
00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:26,828
-Shame what happened to Earl.
-Mm-hmm.
476
00:21:26,912 --> 00:21:29,665
Him and his owner, Nigel,
used to come in here all the time,
477
00:21:29,748 --> 00:21:32,167
till he started shitting and pissing
all over the place.
478
00:21:32,251 --> 00:21:34,086
Yeah.
Nah, that's pretty common with older dogs.
479
00:21:34,169 --> 00:21:36,421
-No, I'm talking about Nigel.
-Hmm.
480
00:21:37,923 --> 00:21:39,341
-To Earl.
-He was a good boy.
481
00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:43,011
Mmm.
482
00:21:44,888 --> 00:21:48,141
Hey, Coach, can I get real a second?
Forget my meal a second?
483
00:21:48,225 --> 00:21:50,394
Put down your beer
and tell your buddy how you feel a second?
484
00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:52,896
-Yeah.
-Sure.
485
00:21:53,939 --> 00:21:58,277
Look, I'm all for whatever it takes
to help Dani get back to being a hundred.
486
00:21:58,861 --> 00:22:01,822
But, um, this whole idea of bringing in
someone from the outside
487
00:22:01,905 --> 00:22:03,448
to help us get him there,
488
00:22:03,532 --> 00:22:05,158
I don't know, it just kinda
puts a little knot in my belly.
489
00:22:05,242 --> 00:22:06,243
I'm not sure why.
490
00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:09,830
Hmm. Sounds like it might be
your favorite Gin Blossoms song.
491
00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:12,040
-"Follow You Down"?
-No, "Hey Jealousy."
492
00:22:12,124 --> 00:22:13,959
No, "Hey Jealousy" is their best song.
493
00:22:14,042 --> 00:22:16,128
My favorite song of theirs is
"Follow You Down."
494
00:22:16,211 --> 00:22:18,046
-You don't know that story?
-Uh...
495
00:22:18,130 --> 00:22:19,423
Doesn't matter, but to your point,
496
00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,758
you know, I thought it might've been
that green-eyed monster too,
497
00:22:21,842 --> 00:22:24,011
but, uh, you know,
I think there's a part of me
498
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:29,057
that just doesn't, uh--
I don't know, uh, trust therapists?
499
00:22:29,725 --> 00:22:30,726
And how come?
500
00:22:31,435 --> 00:22:34,062
Well, when Michelle and I did
couple's therapy,
501
00:22:34,146 --> 00:22:37,441
it was with this therapist she'd been
going to for a while, and, um...
502
00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:40,903
I just kinda felt like I was being
set up, you know.
503
00:22:41,737 --> 00:22:43,822
Like I was going in there
not to be listened to,
504
00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:47,326
but rather just to hear about
all the things I'd been doing wrong.
505
00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:50,579
And that's the only time
you've ever seen a therapist?
506
00:22:50,662 --> 00:22:52,206
Oh, yeah. [chuckles]
507
00:22:52,956 --> 00:22:55,209
Do you remember what you said when
I got dumped by that cruise ship dancer
508
00:22:55,292 --> 00:22:57,127
and swore I would never date
another dancer again?
509
00:22:57,211 --> 00:22:58,545
"Can I have your tap shoes?"
510
00:22:59,129 --> 00:23:01,173
"All people are different people."
511
00:23:01,798 --> 00:23:03,550
Hmm. I said that?
512
00:23:03,634 --> 00:23:04,801
Mm-hmm.
513
00:23:05,511 --> 00:23:07,513
Oh. That's pretty good.
514
00:23:07,596 --> 00:23:08,597
Yeah.
515
00:23:09,264 --> 00:23:11,308
-You went out with another dancer though?
-Many.
516
00:23:13,352 --> 00:23:14,353
Too many.
517
00:23:16,522 --> 00:23:18,524
Sorry if I was prattling on too much
this evening.
518
00:23:18,607 --> 00:23:21,109
[sighs] You were as charming as ever.
519
00:23:21,944 --> 00:23:23,779
You sure you don't wanna
come back to mine?
520
00:23:24,363 --> 00:23:25,572
Got an early morning, remember?
521
00:23:27,199 --> 00:23:30,244
Right. Yeah, um, well,
let me know if I passed the test.
522
00:23:31,286 --> 00:23:33,539
-Lunch later this week?
-Perfect.
523
00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:38,544
-Night.
-Ooh. [chuckles]
524
00:23:38,627 --> 00:23:39,878
-Thank you.
-[giggles]
525
00:23:39,962 --> 00:23:41,338
-See ya.
-Bye. [chuckles]
526
00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:42,631
Cheers.
527
00:23:48,345 --> 00:23:50,639
-Well?
-I think he's a really good match.
528
00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:54,101
I mean, he's age-appropriate,
financially appropriate.
529
00:23:54,184 --> 00:23:55,227
He's not shy.
530
00:23:55,310 --> 00:23:57,896
-I love that about him.
-Totally.
531
00:23:57,980 --> 00:23:59,481
Fucking hell.
532
00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:03,360
Is there a problem?
533
00:24:04,444 --> 00:24:05,946
Tell the truth.
534
00:24:06,029 --> 00:24:08,073
He's fine. That's it.
535
00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:10,158
Nothing wrong with that,
most people are fine.
536
00:24:10,242 --> 00:24:13,412
But it's not about him. It's about
why the fuck you think he deserves you.
537
00:24:14,538 --> 00:24:17,958
You deserve someone who makes you
feel like you've been struck by lightning.
538
00:24:19,334 --> 00:24:21,044
Don't you dare settle for fine.
539
00:24:24,298 --> 00:24:25,299
Hmm.
540
00:24:26,258 --> 00:24:27,926
Not that it's any of my business.
541
00:24:45,903 --> 00:24:50,782
-435, 436, 437, 438, 439, 440--
-Ha!
542
00:24:50,866 --> 00:24:53,035
-Higgins, look alive!
-Ooh! Ah.
543
00:24:53,118 --> 00:24:54,620
-Aw. [clicks tongue] Nuts.
-Mm-mmm.
544
00:24:54,703 --> 00:24:58,081
Sorry. Um, I just wanted to introduce you
to Dr. Sharon Fieldstone.
545
00:24:58,165 --> 00:25:00,042
She's gonna be looking after Dani.
546
00:25:00,125 --> 00:25:03,003
This is Nathan, Coach Beard,
and Ted Lasso.
547
00:25:03,086 --> 00:25:04,505
-[grunts]
-Oh, you don't need to stand.
548
00:25:04,588 --> 00:25:06,465
But it makes it a lot easier to do this.
549
00:25:06,548 --> 00:25:07,633
[beatboxes]
550
00:25:07,716 --> 00:25:09,468
-♪ It's nice to meet you ♪
-♪ Ooh ♪
551
00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:11,220
-♪ It's nice to meet you ♪
-♪ Ooh ♪
552
00:25:11,303 --> 00:25:14,181
♪ Consider this song
Our way to greet you ♪
553
00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:15,265
♪ Hey! ♪
554
00:25:17,684 --> 00:25:20,395
So I understand that Dani has developed
a case of the yips?
555
00:25:20,479 --> 00:25:21,939
-Hey!
-[squeals]
556
00:25:22,648 --> 00:25:25,067
Okay, that's two weird things in a row.
What's going on?
557
00:25:25,150 --> 00:25:27,569
Well, Doc, we don't like
using that word around here.
558
00:25:27,653 --> 00:25:28,654
Why?
559
00:25:29,238 --> 00:25:30,781
Um, how do I...
560
00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:32,991
Why y'all looking at me?
561
00:25:33,075 --> 00:25:35,744
He's the one that knows everyth--
Oh, okay, all right. Um, well, Doc--
562
00:25:35,827 --> 00:25:37,120
Doctor.
563
00:25:37,829 --> 00:25:39,206
Right, yes, of course. Sorry.
564
00:25:39,289 --> 00:25:42,709
Um, Doctor. Um, it's a superstition.
565
00:25:43,544 --> 00:25:45,087
I see. Well, the yips...
566
00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:46,880
-[squeals]
-[groans]
567
00:25:47,673 --> 00:25:49,091
...are not a superstition.
568
00:25:49,675 --> 00:25:50,843
They are a mental condition,
569
00:25:50,926 --> 00:25:53,762
one that can be fixed
with discipline, not denial.
570
00:25:53,846 --> 00:25:56,640
So, then, you're pretty confident
that you can help us out with Dani, huh?
571
00:25:56,723 --> 00:25:58,058
Are you good at your job?
572
00:25:59,518 --> 00:26:00,394
Uh, I mean...
573
00:26:01,436 --> 00:26:02,521
Don't worry about them.
574
00:26:03,772 --> 00:26:06,441
Put all bullshit humility aside
and be honest with me.
575
00:26:06,525 --> 00:26:08,360
Are you good at your job? Yes or no?
576
00:26:09,069 --> 00:26:10,654
Um, yes.
577
00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:11,947
I believe you.
578
00:26:12,865 --> 00:26:16,076
Well, as good as you are at your job,
I'm twice as good at mine.
579
00:26:20,789 --> 00:26:22,541
-We're very lucky to have you.
-Thank you very much.
580
00:26:22,624 --> 00:26:24,209
-That's good to know.
-Thank you for coming here.
581
00:26:24,793 --> 00:26:27,004
Right, so where should I be conducting
my sessions?
582
00:26:27,087 --> 00:26:28,547
-Um...
-[Higgins stammers]
583
00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:31,425
Why don't I set you up
in my office, all right?
584
00:26:32,009 --> 00:26:35,470
Great. Nice meeting all of you
and sorry to have interrupted your game.
585
00:26:35,554 --> 00:26:36,555
What's your record?
586
00:26:36,638 --> 00:26:39,016
Oh, uh, 1,236.
587
00:26:42,519 --> 00:26:43,770
Impressive.
588
00:26:52,404 --> 00:26:54,573
She seems fun.
589
00:26:55,073 --> 00:26:56,074
Mm-hmm.
590
00:26:59,578 --> 00:27:01,413
You're sure you're okay,
me using your office?
591
00:27:01,496 --> 00:27:02,706
Not just being polite?
592
00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:05,876
I-- It's probably a bit of both,
but I insist.
593
00:27:05,959 --> 00:27:08,170
-[chuckles] Thank you, Mr. Higgins.
-No problem.
594
00:27:13,217 --> 00:27:14,927
-[knocks]
-Hey, Doc, uh, tor.
595
00:27:15,010 --> 00:27:16,595
Uh, this right here, this is Dani Rojas.
596
00:27:16,678 --> 00:27:19,223
Dani, this is Dr. Sharon Fieldstone.
597
00:27:19,306 --> 00:27:21,266
Nice to meet you, Dani. How you feeling?
598
00:27:21,350 --> 00:27:22,768
Like a murderer.
599
00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:24,770
Please.
600
00:27:26,021 --> 00:27:27,022
You're all right.
601
00:27:28,315 --> 00:27:31,693
Yeah. Want me to stick around,
help you break the ice with Dani here?
602
00:27:31,777 --> 00:27:33,987
I think we'll be all right, Coach Lasso.
Thank you.
603
00:27:34,905 --> 00:27:36,532
Okay. Yeah.
604
00:27:37,032 --> 00:27:39,952
[Dr. Fieldstone speaking Spanish]
605
00:27:40,619 --> 00:27:41,828
[Dani speaking Spanish]
606
00:27:45,374 --> 00:27:46,875
-You okay?
-Oh, yeah.
607
00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:49,419
This is gonna be perfect. Yeah.
608
00:27:50,963 --> 00:27:51,964
Aw.
609
00:27:52,673 --> 00:27:55,050
And remember, this is when tickets
to Stomp were tough to get.
610
00:27:55,133 --> 00:27:57,511
Anyway, this tall redhead pushes
in front of me,
611
00:27:57,594 --> 00:27:59,429
so I tap him on the shoulder,
he turns around and goes,
612
00:27:59,513 --> 00:28:01,598
"Is there a problem?"
I go, "Yeah, there's a problem."
613
00:28:01,682 --> 00:28:03,851
He goes, "It's all right. It's all right.
I know the choreographer."
614
00:28:03,934 --> 00:28:06,562
[fading] Guess who it was...
[muffled speaking]
615
00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:15,362
[muffled speaking continues]
616
00:28:26,331 --> 00:28:27,499
[normal]
Is everything okay, Rebecca?
617
00:28:30,085 --> 00:28:34,882
[stammers] It's j--
Dating is so odd, isn't it?
618
00:28:34,965 --> 00:28:37,843
-Yeah.
-I mean, we are all strangers essentially.
619
00:28:37,926 --> 00:28:41,722
So I mean, how is it ever possible
to truly feel safe with someone?
620
00:28:41,805 --> 00:28:42,806
I suppose you can't.
621
00:28:42,890 --> 00:28:45,267
You know, my friend, Flo, once told me
622
00:28:45,350 --> 00:28:49,730
that intimacy was all about
leaving yourself open to being attacked.
623
00:28:50,522 --> 00:28:52,274
-Oh.
-Isn't that horrible?
624
00:28:52,357 --> 00:28:53,692
I've not heard that one.
625
00:28:53,775 --> 00:28:56,737
But I mean, it does make you realize
how scary it is,
626
00:28:57,946 --> 00:28:59,656
allowing yourself to be intimate again.
627
00:29:01,033 --> 00:29:02,743
I mean, you really do have to be brave.
628
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,665
And that's it right there, isn't it?
629
00:29:10,626 --> 00:29:12,836
I need to be brave enough to let someone...
630
00:29:14,755 --> 00:29:16,924
wonderful love me,
631
00:29:17,007 --> 00:29:20,093
without fear of being hurt
and without fear of being...
632
00:29:22,054 --> 00:29:23,055
safe.
633
00:29:26,433 --> 00:29:28,810
Sorry... Are you breaking up with me?
634
00:29:33,148 --> 00:29:36,735
I'm so sorry.
I-- I actually didn't know I was
635
00:29:36,818 --> 00:29:39,029
-going to do that--
-No, no, it's-- it's all right.
636
00:29:40,697 --> 00:29:42,658
-[laughs nervously]
-[sighs]
637
00:29:45,410 --> 00:29:46,495
Coffees are on me.
638
00:29:47,079 --> 00:29:49,790
Yeah, fair enough. Cheers.
639
00:29:51,375 --> 00:29:52,584
[John swallows]
640
00:29:57,798 --> 00:29:59,550
[Dani]
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na!
641
00:29:59,633 --> 00:30:03,011
Dani Rojas, Rojas. Dani Rojas.
642
00:30:03,095 --> 00:30:05,138
Hello, my beautiful coaches.
May I join the drill?
643
00:30:05,222 --> 00:30:06,431
Sure thing, Dani, yeah.
644
00:30:06,515 --> 00:30:08,350
But hey, y-you take this
at your own pace, okay?
645
00:30:08,433 --> 00:30:09,434
You got it, Coach.
646
00:30:12,229 --> 00:30:13,230
Hmm.
647
00:30:19,403 --> 00:30:20,445
[groans]
648
00:30:21,196 --> 00:30:22,322
Did she not wave back?
649
00:30:22,406 --> 00:30:24,658
-Oh, I don't think she saw me.
-She saw you.
650
00:30:42,467 --> 00:30:44,052
[exhales]
651
00:30:58,775 --> 00:31:00,736
-[players cheering]
-[chuckles]
652
00:31:00,819 --> 00:31:02,571
-Oh!
-Ohh!
653
00:31:10,204 --> 00:31:11,413
Hey, all right!
654
00:31:18,420 --> 00:31:20,672
Hey, they got a whole bunch
of new emojis on here. You see this?
655
00:31:20,756 --> 00:31:22,925
Do you remember when they added
Groucho but no Harpo?
656
00:31:23,008 --> 00:31:24,426
-Mmm.
-It's bullshit.
657
00:31:25,093 --> 00:31:29,306
Good night, coaches, and thank you
for Dr. Sharon. She's incredible.
658
00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:31,558
No problem, Dani.
Just glad you're feeling better.
659
00:31:32,226 --> 00:31:35,437
[stammers] Yeah, but ho-hold on a sec.
Um, I'm just curious.
660
00:31:35,521 --> 00:31:38,232
What did she-- Um, I mean,
what ended up helping you?
661
00:31:39,608 --> 00:31:40,984
Dr. Sharon helped me remember that
662
00:31:41,068 --> 00:31:44,446
even though football is life,
football is also death.
663
00:31:45,989 --> 00:31:47,824
And that football is football too.
664
00:31:49,326 --> 00:31:50,869
But mostly that football is life!
665
00:31:50,953 --> 00:31:52,704
[chuckles] Yeah.
666
00:31:55,457 --> 00:31:57,084
Yeah, well, there you have it.
667
00:31:58,377 --> 00:32:01,255
You know what, I'm gonna go upstairs,
thank the good doc before she splits.
668
00:32:01,922 --> 00:32:03,423
It's the least you can do.
669
00:32:04,049 --> 00:32:05,342
Hey, Higgins. Doc still here?
670
00:32:05,425 --> 00:32:07,219
Oh, wait, Ted. She's in a session.
671
00:32:07,302 --> 00:32:08,470
A session? With who?
672
00:32:10,055 --> 00:32:12,891
-Thank you, Sharon. For real.
-Mm-hmm. You're welcome.
673
00:32:13,642 --> 00:32:14,643
She's amazing.
674
00:32:15,644 --> 00:32:18,397
-Thierry?
-Oh, yes. Hi.
675
00:32:19,064 --> 00:32:21,942
[speaking French]
676
00:32:22,025 --> 00:32:24,361
[both speaking French]
677
00:32:24,444 --> 00:32:27,447
A few of the boys asked to sit down
with Dr. Fieldstone before she left.
678
00:32:27,531 --> 00:32:28,615
I don't see the harm, right?
679
00:32:29,199 --> 00:32:31,118
No, that-- That's great. Yeah.
680
00:32:35,998 --> 00:32:38,959
-Hi.
-[Roy] Hey, gorgeous. What's going on?
681
00:32:39,042 --> 00:32:40,294
I feel like a little shit.
682
00:32:40,794 --> 00:32:43,422
I used our fun night out together
to try and change your mind
683
00:32:43,505 --> 00:32:45,382
about something you don't wanna do.
684
00:32:45,465 --> 00:32:47,634
That was tacky,
and I'm really sorry for it.
685
00:32:47,718 --> 00:32:49,678
You're very sweet. Thank you.
686
00:32:49,761 --> 00:32:51,263
[chuckles] I'm leaving work right now.
687
00:32:51,346 --> 00:32:54,224
I can stop by Waitrose,
pick up a bottle of wine, bring it over?
688
00:32:54,308 --> 00:32:57,269
Waitrose, is it?
Who am I talking to, the fucking queen?
689
00:32:57,352 --> 00:32:59,438
-[Keeley chuckles]
-I'd love to, but, um...
690
00:32:59,521 --> 00:33:01,315
Oh, fuck! Yeah, it's yoga mums night.
Sorry.
691
00:33:01,398 --> 00:33:04,109
Yeah, but you can
beg for forgiveness later.
692
00:33:04,193 --> 00:33:05,611
I can swing by and wake you up.
693
00:33:05,694 --> 00:33:08,488
Oi, Roy. Hurry up. It's about to start.
694
00:33:09,323 --> 00:33:11,408
I'll be awake. Have fun, yeah?
695
00:33:11,491 --> 00:33:12,492
Bye, babe.
696
00:33:12,576 --> 00:33:14,620
[music playing on TV]
697
00:33:14,703 --> 00:33:16,038
Let's fucking do this.
698
00:33:16,121 --> 00:33:18,457
[music continues]
699
00:33:18,540 --> 00:33:20,667
[female host on TV]
Who will be eliminated this week
700
00:33:20,751 --> 00:33:24,463
on the UK's number one show,
Lust Conquers All?
701
00:33:24,546 --> 00:33:27,966
Will it be Grimsby's
top makeup counter associate, Ellie?
702
00:33:28,050 --> 00:33:31,470
Can't vote me off, yeah?
I'm the one who makes your lips tick.
703
00:33:31,553 --> 00:33:33,388
-Oh, shut up, you slag.
-[laughing]
704
00:33:33,472 --> 00:33:35,265
Come on. She's hilarious.
705
00:33:35,349 --> 00:33:38,185
Or will it be the footballing tart, Jamie?
706
00:33:40,437 --> 00:33:42,147
[people on TV clamoring]
707
00:33:42,231 --> 00:33:44,691
You can't get rid of me.
I'm the island's top scorer.
708
00:33:45,859 --> 00:33:46,860
Sexually.
709
00:33:48,403 --> 00:33:50,989
-[scoffs]
-God, I love him.
710
00:33:51,073 --> 00:33:52,991
-[yoga mums sigh]
-Oh, same.
711
00:33:53,075 --> 00:33:55,410
-Jesus.
-Top up my rosé please, Janice?
712
00:33:55,494 --> 00:33:57,162
[female host on TV]
...pharmacist from Borehamwood?
713
00:33:57,246 --> 00:33:59,873
-Or Clara, Bournemouth's scandalous...
-Cheers.
714
00:33:59,957 --> 00:34:00,958
Cheers.