1 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,658 Oh, boy. 2 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,411 Morning, fellas. Sorry I'm late. 3 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:40,541 Just needed to clear my head so I decided to, you know, walk to work. 4 00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:43,669 Turns out that clearing and walking in a town you don't know all too well 5 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,629 can be a little tricky. 6 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,048 Ended up getting lost but, you know, then I got unlost, 7 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,550 then I got lost again but... 8 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:53,262 Well, you know, now I'm here, you know. Beard's here, Nate's here, which is great 9 00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:55,305 because the world can be a sad, lonely place, but-- 10 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,599 Hey, come on now, let's get to work, shall we? 11 00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:58,767 Michelle. 12 00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:00,269 Which is fine. 13 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:03,063 You know, it's okay, 'cause it's a great time now for me to, 14 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,858 you know, bury myself in my work here. 15 00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,317 And so-- Although, I'm not crazy-- 16 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,570 I don't love the word "bury," you know what I mean? 17 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:11,780 It's just got a negative connotation to it, don't it? 18 00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:13,407 What's another word I could say? 19 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:17,703 Everyone loves a good bath, right? Just a nice warm bath, right? Yeah? 20 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,706 So that's what I'll say. I'll say, "I'm gonna bathe myself in work." 21 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,332 How 'bout that? That's good. That's good. 22 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,168 Nate, you got a favorite bath bomb, buddy? 23 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:27,296 No, I just don't really enjoy baths, just 'cause my skin gets really wrinkly, 24 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:29,089 and I'm deeply worried about aging. 25 00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:32,092 Okay, I get that. What about you, Coach? You got a favorite bath bomb? 26 00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:33,260 Crème brûlée honey. 27 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,554 Honey? Is that an ingredient or something you just called me? 28 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:36,805 -Ingredient. -Shoot. 29 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:39,600 I was hoping it was the other one. But that's kind of a fun idea. 30 00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:41,935 Maybe we start calling each other little pet names. 31 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:44,104 You know? Like "honey" or "babe," you know? 32 00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,064 It might be nice, right? What do you think, Coach? 33 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,317 Nate, will you do me a favor here? 34 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,569 Will you just help Coach plan practice for today? 35 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,696 -Absolutely. Yeah. -All right. Thank you, sweetie. 36 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,781 Okay, I'll see y'all in a little bit. 37 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,952 -Is he all right? -No. 38 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,603 All right. Shall we? Sarah, why don't you lead us off? 39 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:28,190 So, Coach Lasso. You finally won your first match. 40 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:29,358 How's it feel? 41 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,152 Well, Sarah, I believe you can outscore your opponent and still lose. 42 00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:34,238 Just like you can score less than them and win. 43 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:37,032 But last week we definitely won, which is pretty darn fun. 44 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,535 All right, next question. 45 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:44,164 Trent Crimm, The Independent. 46 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,210 Is it safe to assume that Jamie Tartt will be back on the pitch next match? 47 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,879 Well, you know what they say when you assume, Trent? 48 00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:53,841 You make an arse outta you and me. Yeah? 49 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:56,885 And that right there is another example 50 00:02:56,969 --> 00:03:00,430 of how our English and y'all's English sometimes do not jive, innit? 51 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,185 But are you honestly gonna keep your best player on the bench? 52 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:08,814 Well, that depends on Jamie. He knows what we need from him. 53 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,024 Let's keep it going, yeah? Kip, come on, hit me. 54 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:14,361 -Ted. Just the man I wanted to see. -Hey, boss. 55 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:17,364 Your decision to bench Jamie Tartt was very brave. 56 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,491 -Thank you. -I mean, a masterstroke. 57 00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:21,577 I don't think we're allowed to talk like that at work anymore. 58 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,953 There's just one complication now. 59 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,413 Manchester City have called, 60 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:27,082 and they've inquired about terminating Jamie's loan. 61 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,585 -They're gonna take his house? -No. 62 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:32,963 Ted, Jamie's contract is owned by Manchester City, 63 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,299 and they, in turn, loaned him to Richmond for the season. 64 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,134 Okay. I get it. 65 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,469 They want Jamie back if you are planning to bench him. 66 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,139 I'm not planning on that. No, my plan is for my plan to work. 67 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,475 But you know what they say about the best-laid plans, right? 68 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,395 Said "plan" too many times. Word's lost all its meaning now. 69 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,607 Plan. Plan. Plan. Doesn't matter. 70 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:54,443 Hey, you tell Man City that this man has a plan. 71 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,487 -Plan. Plan. Plan? -Plan. 72 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,989 -Plan? -Not plan. 73 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,034 -Plan. -Like "flan." Plan. 74 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,702 Flan? That dessert? 75 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:04,995 Yes, like "flan." 76 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,039 No, I don't dig on flan. 77 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:09,791 Plan. Plan. 78 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:12,127 Plan. Plan? 79 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,463 -Word become a sound? -What's that called again? 80 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,130 -Semantic satiation. -Yeah. 81 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,216 Okay. All right. 82 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:20,719 Is that new kid from Mexico here yet? 83 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,846 -He's getting treatment on his knee. -Okay, good. 84 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,140 -What's his name again? -Dani Rojas. 85 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,434 Yeah. It's a great name. Okay. 86 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,644 How's Jamie doing? 87 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,396 What? 88 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,775 Says he can't practice today. Says he's hurt. 89 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:39,446 Oh, boy. 90 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,200 Hey, Jamie. 91 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,078 I heard you're not gonna be able to run with us today. That true? 92 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:47,538 Yep. 93 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:48,622 Why's that? 94 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,457 'Cause I'm hurt. 95 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,669 Really sorry to hear that. 96 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,756 Relax, Ted. It's just practice. 97 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,559 Hey. 98 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,310 If you can't practice, you can't practice. 99 00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:13,188 If you're hurt, you're hurt. It's as simple as that. 100 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:17,776 But it ain't about that... at all. 101 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,574 You're sitting in here. You're supposed to be the franchise player. 102 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,535 And yet here we are, talking about you missing practice. 103 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,706 We're talking about practice. 104 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,833 You understand me? Practice. 105 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,377 Not a game. 106 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:39,047 Not a game. Not the game you go out there and die for. Right? 107 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,674 Play every weekend like it's your last, right? 108 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:43,051 No, we're talking about practice, man. 109 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:45,804 Practice! You know you're supposed to be out there. 110 00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:47,347 You know you're supposed to lead by example. 111 00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:49,391 You're just shoving that all aside. 112 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,895 And so here we are, Jamie. We're talking about practice. 113 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,563 Not a game. 114 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:55,606 Not the game. 115 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,901 We're talking about practice, with your team. With your teammates. 116 00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:02,613 The only place we get to play together, we got control over. 117 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,907 Rest of the time it's us 11 against those 11. 118 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,618 We're talking about practice, man! 119 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:12,247 I'm talking about practice! And you can't do it 'cause you're hurt. 120 00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:14,708 Right? 121 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,169 It's fine by me. 122 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,838 Tell you what. Do me a favor. 123 00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,215 When you get out there, 124 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:24,760 set up the cones so the other reserves can do a little passing drill. 125 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:28,180 -You want me to set up cones? -I really appreciate it. 126 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,392 -Colin, go set the cones up. -I think he asked you, mate. 127 00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:33,852 Was I talking to you, big man? 128 00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:35,896 Colin, set up the cones. 129 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,732 Isaac's right. He asked you. You are a second-teamer. 130 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:47,991 That's gotta sting. 131 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,120 Cheers. 132 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,336 I must say, it's quite nice seeing Jamie put in his place for once. 133 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,255 -Thrilling even, innit? -No, no, no. 134 00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:02,840 This is a no schadenfreude zone, all right? 135 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,967 -Nein schadenfreude. -All right. 136 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,094 The new kid, what's his-- Dani what? 137 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,346 -Rojas. -Rojas, yeah. Is he any good? 138 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,849 Came here in the summer transfer window, was immediately injured, 139 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,017 -so no one's really seen him play. -That's okay. 140 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,645 You know, 'cause once Jamie sees someone else playing his position, 141 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,939 you know... I mean, it's gonna hurt his soul. 142 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,694 I'm so sorry. I shouldn't be happy about that. 143 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:27,155 Okay, let's be sure to help Dani get acclimated, all right? 144 00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:29,491 First time in this league can be very overwhelming. 145 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,705 Dani Rojas, Rojas! Dani Rojas! 146 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:40,085 Rojas, Dani Rojas! Rojas, Rojas, Rojas! 147 00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:42,504 Hey! Hello, coaches. 148 00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:45,549 -Thank you for the opportunity. -Yeah. You are a spirited fella, Dani. 149 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,801 Just go on out there, and get the striker spot for us, okay? 150 00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:51,763 Yes! Just like back in Guadalajara, you say it, I do it, Coach. 151 00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:53,557 Football is life! 152 00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:58,937 I like him. 153 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,233 Jamie doesn't. 154 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:06,153 Chipper dickheads like that can never back it up on the pitch. 155 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,340 Beautiful cross, Sam! 156 00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:29,635 Football is life! 157 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:31,970 Oh, boy. 158 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,019 Did you see that? 159 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:42,438 I can't really tell, but it seems like he's very good. 160 00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,150 Cheers, again. 161 00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:48,612 And some unemployed gaffers are asking if we'll have an opening soon. 162 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,865 Tony Pulis. Alan Curbishley. Harry Redknapp called three times. 163 00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:56,745 Hi. I've been up all night doing deep dives on all the players. 164 00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:59,289 Did you know that Richard was raised on a goat farm? 165 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:02,209 And that Isaac's mother has two left hands? 166 00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:05,546 And I called a couple of contacts about some sponsorship opportunities. 167 00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:07,214 Even got myself a little work planner. 168 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:10,217 You couldn't get one without the word "unicorn" written on it? 169 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,469 Fuck off. It's adorable. 170 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:17,474 Sorry, I couldn't help but think how you'd react if I told you to F off. 171 00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:24,815 -That'll be all, Higgins. -Of course. 172 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,276 I'm really glad to see that you're laughing. 173 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:29,069 I just came by to see if you're okay, really. 174 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,487 Why wouldn't I be? 175 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,948 Oh, Christ. Have you not seen the news yet? 176 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:37,703 I really wanted to be the one to comfort you, not to break it to you. 177 00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,372 So, you remember that stunning girl, Bex? 178 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,749 The one that Rupert left with the night of the gala? 179 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,337 Do you really want me to pretend that she wasn't mad fit? 180 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:48,630 I'd appreciate it. 181 00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:52,050 Okay, well. That hideous cow, whose name's Bex, 182 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,137 -which is actually short for... -Rebecca. 183 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,806 Yep, which is also your name, as you know. 184 00:09:57,890 --> 00:10:00,225 So the press is calling her-- 185 00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:02,436 "New Rebecca." Shit. 186 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,104 Nope. 187 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:09,193 The press is calling her "Rebecca," and you're... 188 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,361 "Old Rebecca." 189 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,989 -What? -Old Rebecca. 190 00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:15,991 Old Rebecca? 191 00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,122 Don't worry about it. You've got this. 192 00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:23,624 And if you ever have a moment, 193 00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:26,126 or if you don't got this, then you just call me, right? 194 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:47,314 Wow! That was on purpose, yes? 195 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,024 Yeah. Look, mate. 196 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,776 You're good, yeah, but up here, 197 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,278 there's a difference between good and great. 198 00:10:58,075 --> 00:10:59,910 1-1. Your turn, amigo. 199 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:14,758 Fuck's sake. 200 00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:16,844 Right, watch this then. Left post. 201 00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,265 Wow. That was good. 202 00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:23,308 I know. 203 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:26,937 Yeah! 204 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:36,738 I got lucky. 205 00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:39,908 -Again tomorrow, Jamie Tartt? -We'll see. 206 00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:41,159 Football is life! 207 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:46,999 Dani Rojas, Rojas! Dani Rojas! 208 00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:49,918 Oh, boy. I tell you, man. 209 00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:54,339 I feel like we fell out of a lucky tree, hit every branch on the way down, 210 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:57,634 ended up in a pool full of cash and Sour Patch Kids. 211 00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,345 I mean, Jamie is an ace, right? 212 00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:03,307 You know, whose attitude turned him into a seven of clubs. 213 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:06,059 So then we bring in another fella to help turn him back into an ace 214 00:12:06,143 --> 00:12:08,103 and then that fella ends up being an ace himself. 215 00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:09,605 And so now we got two aces. 216 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:13,609 Aces. Aces. Oh, heck. I did it again. I'm stuck. 217 00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:15,068 -Aces. -That's the word, yeah? 218 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:16,695 -Aces. -Aces. 219 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,155 -Ace. -Aces? Oh, now I'm in there. 220 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,532 -See? Okay, good. -Aces? Aces. 221 00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:22,159 -I hope it's not contagious. -Aces. 222 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,620 -Aces. Aces. -Aces? Aces. 223 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:25,537 -Aces. -Aces. 224 00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:27,164 -Isis. -No, that sounds like "ISIS." 225 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,665 I did say "ISIS." I didn't mean to. 226 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:31,585 Okay, what if we cloned the lead guitarist from Kiss? 227 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,212 -You'd have two-- -Frehleys. 228 00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:46,683 It's lovely weather we've been having, don't you think? 229 00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,310 I love this time of year. 230 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,104 -All the smells of fresh leaves. -What's happening? 231 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,774 I was just pretending that the two of us were on a walk. 232 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:54,858 I'm trying to read. 233 00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,779 I've been doing a lot of reading myself, actually, recently. 234 00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:01,865 I read this mad story 235 00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,785 about a kid who grew up in a shit part of South London. 236 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:09,081 And who got sent off to play as a child in Sunderland, of all places. 237 00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:12,835 And who later was forced to rap his own verse in a charity single 238 00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:15,379 which was called "Winner, Winner, Football Dinner." 239 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,922 That was for world hunger. 240 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,633 And I believe it was the cure. 241 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,096 How do you know all this anyway? What are you doing now? Stalking me? 242 00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:27,140 No. I'm reading all the players' bios. 243 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,852 Rebecca's got me in to help with the team's PR. 244 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:32,980 Well, you leave me out of it. I'm not one of your show ponies. 245 00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:36,400 You wear a number, trot around while people clap, 246 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,528 so I wouldn't be too high and mighty about it. 247 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,114 Later, Roy. 248 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:48,203 Dani Rojas! Dani, Dani! 249 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:56,753 Okay. 250 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,590 Okay, okay, I don't understand. What the heck happened, all right? 251 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,384 -Did you trip over something? -That's the thing, Coach. 252 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,804 I did not trip over something. Something tripped me. 253 00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:07,931 Something not there. 254 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:15,480 Yeah. Okay, Doc. Let's go get him looked at. 255 00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:18,358 Okay. You're okay. 256 00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,612 God, this is all my fault. 257 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,530 I saw Dani go into the treatment room before training, 258 00:14:23,614 --> 00:14:24,865 and I didn't say anything. 259 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,284 That was a mistake. 260 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,036 How could you not say anything? 261 00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:30,621 Well, I hope you've all said your goodbyes, 262 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,706 -'cause we're never gonna see him again. -Hey, that's enough! 263 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,459 One more person says something that me and Beard don't understand, 264 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,669 I'm gonna have one of my son's classic temper tantrums. 265 00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:39,963 It's basically just him calling me a bunch of silly names, 266 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:43,634 you know, like, I don't know, "dummy head" or "poo-poo face" 267 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:46,136 or "poo-poo dummy" or-- I don't know. What am I missing? 268 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:47,930 -"Pee-pee fingers." -"Pee-pee fingers." 269 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,681 Come on, now. Spill. 270 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:55,020 The treatment room is cursed. 271 00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,855 -What? -It's true. 272 00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:59,107 Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this? 273 00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:02,110 Well, I think it has a lot to do with grown men being embarrassed 274 00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:05,280 to admit that they believe in all this hoodoo, voodoo, juju business. 275 00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:07,032 -Hey, I don't believe it. -Okay, good. 276 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,784 Then me and you, we're gonna go look in that room. 277 00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,410 -No. -Why not? 278 00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:12,162 Because... No. 279 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,290 Heck! Oh, man. 280 00:15:15,374 --> 00:15:18,168 I mean, Dani was out there, what, an hour ago? 281 00:15:18,252 --> 00:15:19,795 Running circles on that pitch 282 00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:23,298 like a joyous raven-haired golden retriever. 283 00:15:23,382 --> 00:15:26,468 Coach, is it true in America you guys have so many beautiful dogs in pounds 284 00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:28,220 that some get put down for no reason? 285 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:29,847 That is true, Sam. 286 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,766 But it's also something a lot of female singer-songwriters are trying to change. 287 00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:36,937 Look, we're not gonna put Dani Rojas down. I'll tell you that right now. 288 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:40,065 Gentlemen, I need you to gather up the rest of the fellas. 289 00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:43,861 'Cause we got ourselves a curse to reverse. 290 00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:53,120 What the fuck's wrong with you two? 291 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:55,038 The whole Richmond team's here. 292 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,041 Holy shit. 293 00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:07,801 Hey, Coach. Jamie? 294 00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,263 Okay. That's okay. 295 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:12,764 Hey, guys. 296 00:16:12,848 --> 00:16:14,516 Hey, fellas. Fellas, listen up. 297 00:16:15,434 --> 00:16:16,643 Thank you, guys, for coming out. 298 00:16:16,727 --> 00:16:19,146 Look, I don't know a lot about this stuff, you know. 299 00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:20,731 I don't know about curses. 300 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,858 But I do know this, they don't last forever. 301 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:25,235 Okay, look at the Boston Red Sox curse. That's over. 302 00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,487 Chicago Cubs, over. 303 00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:31,241 Heck, even Mr. Martin Scorsese finally won his Oscar. 304 00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:33,535 But I think we can all agree that The Departed 305 00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:34,995 is not necessarily his best work. 306 00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:36,079 -No. -Yeah. 307 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,291 -That belongs to The Color of Money. -No, it's Goodfellas. 308 00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:43,003 -Agree to disagree. -Nah, nah. It's Age of Innocence, bruv. 309 00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:45,631 -Cape Fear. -Silence! 310 00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:49,009 Oi, once the word gets out you lot are in here, 311 00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:51,386 this place will turn into a fucking zoo. 312 00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:53,639 And the answer's Mean Streets. 313 00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,641 -Yeah. That's a good one. -Yeah. 314 00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:58,310 You're all here because of this poster behind me. 315 00:16:58,393 --> 00:16:59,436 Mr. Higgins. 316 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,856 "Are you a fast, fit, fan of football?" 317 00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:04,733 That's solid alliteration right there. 318 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,234 Hundreds of those posters 319 00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:11,448 were put up around Richmond on the 18th of November, 1914. 320 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,909 It was an invitation for young men 321 00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:16,662 to try out to be a professional footballer. 322 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:19,455 It said to come to our stadium that day. 323 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,375 And it was a lie. 324 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:26,797 In 1914, the war was raging. There was no tryout. 325 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:32,469 Just recruiters, waiting to encourage those boys to fight the fight. 326 00:17:32,553 --> 00:17:35,764 They enlisted 400 lads that day. 327 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:38,475 Very few of them came home. 328 00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:41,061 And after they enlisted... 329 00:17:41,854 --> 00:17:43,772 do you know where they went for their physical? 330 00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:46,191 Oh, Christ, it's our treatment room, isn't it? 331 00:17:46,275 --> 00:17:47,609 What are you talking about? 332 00:17:47,693 --> 00:17:51,989 Hey, no, no, no. Hey, no, fellas. No, it was not, okay? 333 00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:56,702 It was. I'm sorry, I'm lying to ya. I don't even know why I'm lying. 334 00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,912 I'm sorry. I just wanted y'all to take a breath for a second. 335 00:17:58,996 --> 00:18:01,707 Wait, wait, wait. What you're telling me is that we've got 400 ghosts? 336 00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:03,041 That's too many ghosts. 337 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:04,209 We cannot fight them all. 338 00:18:04,293 --> 00:18:06,044 We're not going to have to fight them, Richard. 339 00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:08,213 Wait, so, Coach, how do we fix this? 340 00:18:08,297 --> 00:18:11,049 -We can't change the past. -No, Sam. No, we cannot. 341 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,177 But we can choose to honor it. 342 00:18:13,844 --> 00:18:16,346 Now, those young men, they made the ultimate sacrifice. 343 00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:19,516 So I think it's only fair that we sacrifice something of our own. 344 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,352 I'm gonna ask each and every one of you to go home tonight, 345 00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:24,605 find something, an item. 346 00:18:24,688 --> 00:18:26,857 Something personal. Something that you truly value. 347 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:30,110 And I want you to bring it tonight to the clubhouse, at midnight. 348 00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:31,737 No. That is bullshit. 349 00:18:33,739 --> 00:18:35,616 We're all going to fucking do it! 350 00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,075 All right. 351 00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:40,120 That's your captain talking right there. 352 00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:45,167 Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! 353 00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:46,710 Told you. 354 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:51,298 Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! 355 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:54,259 Hi, Jamie. What do you need? 356 00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:58,555 Babe, I said it was important. We can't go inside your house? 357 00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:00,432 No way! We can't. 358 00:19:00,516 --> 00:19:02,643 Sex was, like, the only thing that you and I was good at. 359 00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:05,187 I've had three glasses of wine. It's Pavlovian. 360 00:19:05,896 --> 00:19:08,273 Pavlovian? What is that? Is that the wine? 361 00:19:09,608 --> 00:19:12,027 Babe, can we not at least just get inside my car? It's cold. 362 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,863 No. You don't remember how many times we shagged in this thing? 363 00:19:14,947 --> 00:19:17,032 So the car's also Pavlovian? 364 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:18,116 Think I'm getting it now. 365 00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:21,453 So, what's up, Jamie? 366 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,164 Fucking Ted Lasso. 367 00:19:24,248 --> 00:19:26,208 He's really gotten up your bum, hasn't he? 368 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,168 Babe, he's not even a real coach. 369 00:19:28,252 --> 00:19:29,920 Do you know what we're supposed to do tonight? 370 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:33,799 Apparently, some bullshit sacrifice, show-and-tell bullshit. 371 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:37,052 -Okay. You gonna go? -No, 'course I'm not. 372 00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:41,849 -Is everyone else doing it? -Yeah, but I'm Jamie Tartt. 373 00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:43,433 I'm not like everyone else. 374 00:19:43,517 --> 00:19:48,146 Do you think that I could've got from a council estate in North Manchester 375 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,898 to the Premier League, 376 00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:52,109 if I did what everyone else did? 377 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,194 No. I don't. 378 00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:57,197 You're a battler, Jamie. 379 00:19:58,073 --> 00:19:59,449 It's really hot. 380 00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:03,287 But maybe someday you should stop battling the people 381 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:04,830 that just wanna help you. 382 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,794 I feel like you want me to come in. 383 00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:12,254 It's Pavlovian. 384 00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:14,423 Have a good night, Jamie Tartt. 385 00:20:21,722 --> 00:20:22,764 Come in. 386 00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:27,769 Excuse me, Ms. Welton. Hi, I'm Sam. Sam Obisanya. I play for the team. 387 00:20:27,853 --> 00:20:30,355 Yes, Sam. I know who you are. 388 00:20:31,148 --> 00:20:33,525 Is there something I can help you with? 389 00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:36,904 This is really awkward, but are you free tonight? 390 00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:40,490 Sam, I am very flattered, but-- 391 00:20:40,574 --> 00:20:43,327 No, no, no. It's not for romance. 392 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:47,206 It's just to get rid of this curse. I can understand why you misinterpreted. 393 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:48,498 I mean, you're so lovely 394 00:20:48,582 --> 00:20:50,834 you must get romantic invitations all the time. 395 00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:51,919 That's nice. 396 00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:56,423 Gosh, I'm dealing with my own sort of curse. Anyway, thank you. 397 00:20:57,257 --> 00:21:00,761 I'm from Nigeria, and so I feel like whenever the subject of curses comes up, 398 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:04,348 people are like, "I bet the African guy is really into this." 399 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,683 -You're obviously not? -No, no, no. I really am. 400 00:21:06,767 --> 00:21:09,019 But that's mainly from loving Harry Potter. 401 00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:11,730 Do you know J.K. Rowling has more money than the Queen? 402 00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:12,981 I did. 403 00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:16,235 I like the idea of someone becoming rich, because of what they gave to the world. 404 00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:17,903 Not just because of who their family is. 405 00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:21,990 Well, Ms. Welton, I really hope you can participate in this ceremony 406 00:21:22,074 --> 00:21:23,492 that we're having later tonight. 407 00:21:23,575 --> 00:21:24,868 I don't think so. 408 00:21:24,952 --> 00:21:27,412 I apologize, but I can't take no for an answer. 409 00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:30,624 Coach thinks it will only work if the whole team is there, 410 00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:33,710 and Ms. Welton, it's your team. 411 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:38,173 So you have to be there. Please. 412 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,468 At least think about it. 413 00:21:42,803 --> 00:21:43,971 For you, Sam, I will. 414 00:21:44,555 --> 00:21:45,597 Thank you. 415 00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:50,811 See you tonight. 416 00:21:50,894 --> 00:21:51,895 See ya. 417 00:21:56,608 --> 00:21:58,735 Gentlemen, I am, by nature, a believer. 418 00:21:58,819 --> 00:22:01,321 Ghosts, spirit guides, aliens. 419 00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:02,781 Still, I can't actually tell you 420 00:22:02,865 --> 00:22:05,284 what lives beyond our physical world and what doesn't. 421 00:22:06,702 --> 00:22:08,078 What I can tell you, 422 00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:09,913 is that with the exception 423 00:22:09,997 --> 00:22:12,082 of the wit and wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes, 424 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:14,751 not much lasts forever. 425 00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:22,885 -Hey, boss. Glad you could join us. -Hello. Yeah. 426 00:22:27,097 --> 00:22:28,932 Roy, why don't you get things started for us? 427 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:38,025 I was nine when I got scouted by Sunderland, 428 00:22:38,734 --> 00:22:41,361 and I'd never left London before. 429 00:22:42,154 --> 00:22:47,951 My granddad drove me all the way there, and it was freezing, and I was terrified. 430 00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:51,705 I was fucking nine. Say something. 431 00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:57,044 When I got there, he gave me this old blanket. 432 00:22:57,628 --> 00:23:01,632 He said it was to keep me warm and to remind me of home. 433 00:23:02,090 --> 00:23:03,717 And that was the last time I saw him. 434 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,804 'Cause he'd passed away by the time I got back for Christmas, so... 435 00:23:09,348 --> 00:23:13,310 That is why blankie means so much to me. 436 00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:14,686 Did you just say "blankie"? 437 00:23:14,770 --> 00:23:17,523 No, I said "blanket." Conversation over. Sam, go. 438 00:23:19,066 --> 00:23:22,110 This is a picture of the 1994 Nigerian World Cup team. 439 00:23:23,237 --> 00:23:26,240 I pledged I wouldn't take this down until I made the team myself... 440 00:23:27,282 --> 00:23:28,700 and I still intend to do that. 441 00:23:31,745 --> 00:23:34,998 This sand is from a beach in St. Barts. 442 00:23:37,292 --> 00:23:39,711 This is the first beach where I ever... 443 00:23:41,255 --> 00:23:43,924 It's the first beach where I ever slept with a supermodel. 444 00:23:49,388 --> 00:23:51,640 -Smile because it happened. -Thanks. 445 00:23:51,723 --> 00:23:54,309 Sam and Richard coming at ya from both ends of the spectrum there. 446 00:23:54,393 --> 00:23:55,394 Appreciate that. 447 00:23:55,769 --> 00:24:00,941 A girl once said I look like Clive Owen in these sunglasses. 448 00:24:02,901 --> 00:24:04,236 I don't think I can do it. 449 00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:06,697 -Come on, Nate. Throw 'em in. -You got it, Nate. Give it a toss. 450 00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:08,282 -Nice. -Good boy, Nate. 451 00:24:08,949 --> 00:24:09,992 Thank you. Thank you. 452 00:24:15,038 --> 00:24:16,915 Is that today's paper? 453 00:24:16,999 --> 00:24:20,669 There's something in there about me, as usual, and I'm trying not to care. 454 00:24:22,671 --> 00:24:23,881 Fuck the haters. 455 00:24:26,466 --> 00:24:27,467 Word. 456 00:24:27,551 --> 00:24:31,972 This is my cat's collar. She was a faithful companion for 20 years. 457 00:24:33,932 --> 00:24:35,767 Gonna miss you, Cindy Clawford. 458 00:24:37,311 --> 00:24:39,229 It's the only pen I can write my name with. 459 00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:01,043 The keys to my Lamborghini. 460 00:25:03,045 --> 00:25:04,129 How you getting home? 461 00:25:05,339 --> 00:25:07,591 -All right. Everybody go? 462 00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:10,344 -Yeah. -No. I wanna go. 463 00:25:19,895 --> 00:25:23,148 These aren't my first boots or anything. My mum gave 'em me. 464 00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:27,402 She was the one who got me into football in the first place. 465 00:25:28,529 --> 00:25:32,324 Her and me dad split up when I was just a sexy little baby. 466 00:25:33,033 --> 00:25:36,328 She's the reason I work so hard. Just wanted to make her proud. 467 00:25:37,496 --> 00:25:39,414 She doesn't even care if I'm any good. 468 00:25:39,498 --> 00:25:42,084 Just wants me to be happy. Be a good lad. 469 00:25:43,544 --> 00:25:47,506 Once I got good though, me old man started showing up, didn't he? 470 00:25:47,589 --> 00:25:50,259 You know, bragging to all his mates every time I scored a goal. 471 00:25:50,342 --> 00:25:56,139 Calling me "soft" if I didn't... dominate, you know. 472 00:25:56,223 --> 00:25:57,766 And I hated that. 473 00:25:59,268 --> 00:26:01,270 I actually fucking hated that. 474 00:26:03,522 --> 00:26:09,361 So, I made a vow to be so tough that he could never call me "soft" again. 475 00:26:12,531 --> 00:26:14,575 I wonder if sometimes... 476 00:26:15,450 --> 00:26:17,202 I forget about making her proud. 477 00:26:20,163 --> 00:26:21,957 I don't think that she would be lately. 478 00:26:34,928 --> 00:26:36,180 Well, gentlemen... 479 00:26:39,099 --> 00:26:40,934 What do you say we burn this crap? 480 00:26:41,018 --> 00:26:42,936 Maybe we should do this part outside. 481 00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:44,188 -Yeah. -That's a good call. 482 00:26:44,271 --> 00:26:45,272 Yeah. That's smart. Okay. 483 00:26:45,355 --> 00:26:47,232 Hey, would you guys mind grabbing this for me? 484 00:26:54,698 --> 00:26:57,326 Excuse me, Ted. The eagle has landed. 485 00:26:59,369 --> 00:27:00,537 Hey, fellas. 486 00:27:00,621 --> 00:27:04,082 I think the only way to know if the curse has been lifted or not, 487 00:27:04,166 --> 00:27:06,710 we need to ask the spirits for a sign. 488 00:27:08,504 --> 00:27:09,713 Spirits... 489 00:27:11,256 --> 00:27:12,925 speak to us. 490 00:27:16,261 --> 00:27:20,182 Dani Rojas! Rojas! Dani Rojas. 491 00:27:23,894 --> 00:27:26,563 I brought a bottle of mezcal to throw into the curse fire. 492 00:27:26,647 --> 00:27:28,565 Hey, hey, hey. Rojas, look. 493 00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:30,984 Whatever ghosts it were that made you trip over, 494 00:27:31,068 --> 00:27:32,903 they're gone now, I promise, yeah. 495 00:27:32,986 --> 00:27:34,321 Crack that bastard open. 496 00:27:34,404 --> 00:27:36,448 -Yeah, boy! -Yeah. 497 00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:40,369 Jamie's not wrong. Ghosts prefer empty bottles that we've all drunk. 498 00:27:40,452 --> 00:27:41,787 Fact. 499 00:27:41,870 --> 00:27:44,039 Let us celebrate, amigos. 500 00:27:46,667 --> 00:27:48,502 That is a team united. 501 00:27:49,878 --> 00:27:52,506 You're very lucky that everything's fine with Dani's injury. 502 00:27:52,589 --> 00:27:55,050 I just never had you pegged as a gambler, Ted. 503 00:27:55,133 --> 00:27:58,679 I'm not. We knew Dani's okay hours ago. 504 00:27:59,304 --> 00:28:01,306 In fact, it was my man Higgins' idea 505 00:28:01,390 --> 00:28:04,434 not to share that info with the boys until after the ceremony. 506 00:28:05,686 --> 00:28:07,563 -You don't say. -Yeah. 507 00:28:08,063 --> 00:28:09,648 Putting the team first, eh, Higgins? 508 00:28:10,524 --> 00:28:11,567 Yeah, I suppose I am. 509 00:28:11,650 --> 00:28:13,694 Hey, Coach, you joining the party or what? 510 00:28:14,987 --> 00:28:17,698 What do you say, boss? A lot warmer over there by the fire. 511 00:28:19,533 --> 00:28:20,868 I'll respectfully pass. 512 00:28:22,452 --> 00:28:24,454 Higgins, coming with me? 513 00:28:26,415 --> 00:28:27,666 Off you go. 514 00:28:31,128 --> 00:28:33,046 All right now, what's this going on? 515 00:28:33,130 --> 00:28:35,007 What's going on here? What's going on? 516 00:28:35,090 --> 00:28:36,884 Richmond till we die. 517 00:28:36,967 --> 00:28:38,760 We're Richmond till we die. 518 00:28:38,844 --> 00:28:42,306 We know we are, we're sure we are. 519 00:28:42,389 --> 00:28:45,559 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 520 00:28:45,642 --> 00:28:48,812 We know we are, we're sure we are. 521 00:28:48,896 --> 00:28:52,065 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 522 00:28:52,149 --> 00:28:55,527 We know we are, we're sure we are. 523 00:28:55,611 --> 00:28:58,655 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 524 00:28:58,739 --> 00:29:01,992 We know we are, we're sure we are. 525 00:29:02,075 --> 00:29:05,662 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 526 00:29:05,746 --> 00:29:08,665 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 527 00:29:09,708 --> 00:29:10,834 Morning. How y'all doin'? 528 00:29:16,089 --> 00:29:17,341 Hey. That's cool. 529 00:29:19,927 --> 00:29:21,261 Oh, boy. Here we go. 530 00:29:24,139 --> 00:29:25,599 I got it. 531 00:29:26,767 --> 00:29:29,269 Interception. Easy, gentlemen, easy. 532 00:29:30,687 --> 00:29:32,272 Good morning, honey bunch. 533 00:29:32,356 --> 00:29:34,942 You hear that buzz out there? I love it. 534 00:29:35,025 --> 00:29:36,109 How you doing? 535 00:29:38,654 --> 00:29:39,988 You got rid of Jamie? 536 00:29:40,614 --> 00:29:42,449 Man City recalled him. 537 00:29:42,533 --> 00:29:44,493 I told you, Ted. They were concerned he wasn't playing. 538 00:29:44,576 --> 00:29:46,161 I finally got through to him! 539 00:29:46,245 --> 00:29:48,247 I mean, you saw it. 540 00:29:48,330 --> 00:29:51,875 With him and Dani, we had two aces, Rebecca. 541 00:29:51,959 --> 00:29:54,795 -I thought that was what you wanted. -Yeah, well, you thought wrong! 542 00:29:55,587 --> 00:29:57,881 I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my tone there, okay. That was rude. 543 00:29:57,965 --> 00:30:02,636 Look, I'm trying to be cool about this, but I am just seeing red everywhere. 544 00:30:02,719 --> 00:30:05,597 Well, perhaps you should leave before you say something you'll regret. 545 00:30:07,349 --> 00:30:09,601 No, actually, you know what? Here you go. 546 00:30:10,185 --> 00:30:11,186 Your biscuits. 547 00:30:11,270 --> 00:30:13,146 I hope they're not as good as they usually are. 548 00:30:13,230 --> 00:30:16,900 But dang it, they're the best batch yet. I finally cracked the recipe! 549 00:30:24,950 --> 00:30:26,034 Coach? 550 00:30:30,289 --> 00:30:31,790 Football is life.