1
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,822
-Morning, Coach.
-Morning, Coach.
2
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:32,073
You wanna grab some breakfast?
3
00:00:32,156 --> 00:00:34,368
Nah, I just had one piece of cereal
and I'm pretty stuffed.
4
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,786
Could go for coffee though.
5
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,287
Yeah.
6
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,082
You know what today feels like?
7
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,835
-First day of school.
-First day of school. That's right.
8
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:44,753
That's close.
9
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,841
-What about you, Coach? How you feeling?
-A little nervous.
10
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,385
Well, heck, yeah.
No such thing as "last-day jitters."
11
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,305
Gotta look right, Coach.
12
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,558
Yeah. I'm gonna get that someday.
13
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:00,561
So blues
14
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,729
-I can tell you
-Check out my man here.
15
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,441
So blues, I can tell you
16
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,580
A girl's not gettin' by me.
17
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:27,129
Sometimes the best way to stick it to
the man is go right between his legs, huh?
18
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,964
-We gotta go, Coach.
-Yeah.
19
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:38,891
Knock-a-doodle-do.
20
00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:42,102
-Good morning, Coach Lasso.
-Hey, look at us.
21
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:44,146
Couple of worm-addicted early birds,
am I right?
22
00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,399
Well, I'm glad I caught ya.
I brought you a little something.
23
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,234
Yeah. Cookies.
24
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,612
Or as y'all call 'em here,
biscuits, right?
25
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:55,449
Though, I do not recommend
you smother these in gravy.
26
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,825
Ted, I don't really--
27
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:59,119
Come on now. Take a lookie there.
28
00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:01,079
-Those do look good.
-Right?
29
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,247
Go ahead, take a nibble.
30
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:05,125
That's it. Away you go.
31
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,253
Fuck me.
32
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,590
Where did you get these?
33
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:12,966
I'm glad you like 'em.
34
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,052
You know what? I'll start bringing these
to ya every morning.
35
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,345
Call it "Biscuits with the Boss."
36
00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,430
That really isn't necessary.
37
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:21,225
Okay, well, mark this down
as the first time we disagree then.
38
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,810
Actually, no, second time.
Tea is horrible.
39
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,855
Absolute garbage water.
I don't know why y'all do that.
40
00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:28,982
Anyhoo, you know,
we can't really be good partners
41
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,943
-unless we get to know each other, right?
-Ted--
42
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,861
We're gonna start simple.
Real easy, real easy one.
43
00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,905
We're gonna do
first concert, best concert.
44
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,074
You go ahead and go first. Go.
Right off the bat. Come on.
45
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,118
The Spice Girls. And... the Spice Girls.
46
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:43,497
Same answer for both?
I love that. My turn. First concert.
47
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:46,416
I mean, come on. It was
"The Gambler" himself, Mr. Kenny Rogers.
48
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,836
Okay, I'm sorry--
49
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:49,920
Ted--
50
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,258
Coach Lasso.
51
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,221
Stop. Ted, I'm sorry.
52
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:03,725
"Biscuits with the Boss" is not something
that I have time for this morning.
53
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,561
Or ever.
54
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,939
-I hear ya, boss. Loud and clear.
-There we go.
55
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,190
Okay.
56
00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:12,109
You're gonna show up tomorrow
with biscuits, aren't you?
57
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,278
Come on now. I would not bet on that.
58
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,155
I mean, unless you wanna win
a buttload of money.
59
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,032
High five, tree.
60
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,820
Remember what you said to me
our first day coaching at Wichita State?
61
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,238
Lose the ponytail?
62
00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:00,324
Relax. They're just kids.
63
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,704
Well, these fellas
sure as heck ain't kids.
64
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:09,291
Hey, look at Isaac.
He looks like a Rodin sculpture in cleats.
65
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,793
Boots.
66
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,170
They call cleats "boots."
67
00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,298
I thought you said
that the trunk of a car was a boot.
68
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:17,632
Also a boot.
69
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,927
Hold on now.
If I were to get fired from my job
70
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,845
where I'm puttin' cleats
in the trunk of my car--
71
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,056
You got the boot
from puttin' boots in the boot.
72
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:25,557
I love that.
73
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:30,062
All right, gentlemen. Let's go ahead
and do a little seven on seven.
74
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,314
We're gonna call this drill "The Exorcist"
75
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,483
'cause it's all about
controlling possession.
76
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:36,735
All right, let's go!
77
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:43,700
Fuck!
78
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:53,627
Someone get some flowers,
'cause this spot here is where Sam died.
79
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,297
It's very sad.
80
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,550
Oi. Walk away, you little prick.
81
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,677
All right, granddad. Keep your wig on.
82
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,097
-Thanks, Roy.
-Yeah, you're good.
83
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,265
Hey, Sam, come here a sec.
84
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:09,768
Coach, I'm sorry.
85
00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:11,854
You know what the happiest animal
on earth is?
86
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,690
It's a goldfish.
87
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,024
You know why?
88
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,194
-No.
-Got a ten-second memory.
89
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,447
Be a goldfish, Sam. Yeah?
90
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:29,830
Yeah, you got it. Go ahead.
91
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,210
-Hey, Nate.
-Who, me?
92
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:37,004
Yeah. Until we get another Nate here,
93
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,464
I just need you to assume
you're my default Nate, okay?
94
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,842
Come on, question for ya.
What's the buzz on Sam here?
95
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,177
Seems a little down in the dumps.
96
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:47,639
Yeah, he's been underachieving
since he got here from Nigeria, so...
97
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:50,475
Yeah, well, first time away from home
is never easy.
98
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,936
We're gonna have to do something
to Ni-cheer-ia him up, man.
99
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,025
You still laughing at stuff
you don't think is funny, huh?
100
00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,110
I'm not always sure
what's a joke and what isn't.
101
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,029
Yeah, it's tough to tell these days,
isn't it?
102
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,947
Go, Lasso! Go, Lasso, go!
103
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:08,076
Go, Lasso! Go, Lasso, go!
Go, Lasso! Go, Lasso, go!
104
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:09,912
Higgins.
105
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,122
Ted Lasso was in my office.
106
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,958
"What's the first concert you ever saw?"
107
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,961
-Boy George.
-Not you, you garden gnome.
108
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,546
He wants us to get together every morning
109
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,381
to get to know me
and hear what I've got to say.
110
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,508
The nerve!
111
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:25,260
I mean,
the man's just relentless and nice.
112
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:27,554
Everywhere he's been,
his players seem to love him.
113
00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:29,640
It's the one thing
that could just muck this up.
114
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,183
Hello, boys.
115
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:32,893
Up top.
116
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,730
-Hello, Miss Welton.
-Hello, Miss Welton.
117
00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:43,987
Higgins, do you know which of the players
has the most sway in the locker room?
118
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,031
No.
119
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,994
So helpful.
Then solve me this different mystery.
120
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,121
Find out where Lasso got those biscuits.
121
00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,375
Watch out, biscuits!
Higgins is on the case.
122
00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:04,716
All right, fellas. Excuse me.
123
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:05,884
Listen up!
124
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,846
Thank you, Coach.
125
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,223
Now, we got Crystal Palace
coming here on Saturday.
126
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:12,474
Anything we need to know, Coach?
127
00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:15,477
-Lot of speed on the outside.
-Okay. Anything else?
128
00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:17,062
Lot of speed.
129
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,355
Okay, you heard the man.
130
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,691
Y'all whipped 'em up pretty good
earlier this year,
131
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,652
so me and Coach ain't gonna mess
with the game plan.
132
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,237
But...
133
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,115
we would like to start fiddling with
the way we do things in the locker room.
134
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,242
And if the Internet
has taught us anything,
135
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:34,079
it's that sometimes it's easier
to speak our minds anonymously.
136
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:37,457
Right? So I asked Nate here to make us
a good old-fashioned suggestion box.
137
00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,126
Hey, look at that.
138
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:42,171
Yeah, did it with my niece.
She loves crafts, so--
139
00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,256
Yeah. I love glimpses
into your personal life.
140
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:45,340
This is lovely.
141
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,801
So, if anything's got y'all
hot and bothered,
142
00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:49,303
just go ahead and drop us a note.
143
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,890
You could have issue
with the color of the towels
144
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,184
or, heck, the food in the vending machine.
145
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:56,268
Sound good?
146
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,772
Okay, great. See y'all tomorrow.
147
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,651
Oi. We're middle of the table,
we've lost three of four,
148
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,988
and you wanna know if the snacks
in the locker room are tasty enough?
149
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,281
Are they?
150
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:10,991
Jesus Christ.
151
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:14,286
They are not.
152
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,638
That's a long time to wait, Ted.
153
00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:35,807
Well, I respect you didn't hurry.
154
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,393
So, how was your first official day?
155
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:39,477
I'm not entirely sure
156
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,063
what y'all's smallest unit
of measurement is over here,
157
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:44,358
but that's about how much headway I made.
158
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,527
And yet, you seem undeterred.
159
00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:52,074
Solid entrance.
160
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,745
What would you rather be,
a lion or a panda?
161
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,121
I don't have time for this.
162
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,123
Okay.
163
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,708
-Ted?
-Gotta go panda.
164
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:06,505
Are you mad? Pandas are fat and lazy
and have piss-stained fur.
165
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:10,300
Lions are powerful and majestic
and rule the jungle.
166
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,553
Try telling that to an elephant.
Can I be an elephant?
167
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:13,679
Lion or panda.
168
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:14,930
-Panda.
-Lion!
169
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,182
-What's black and white and red all over?
-I don't know. What?
170
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:21,186
A panda that gets anywhere
near a fucking lion. The answer is lion.
171
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:23,814
All right.
172
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,275
That Rebecca is an intimidating,
very tall woman.
173
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:29,152
I mean, the minute she locked eyes
with me, I started sweating.
174
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:32,656
Oh, no. She got some fences, all right,
but you just gotta hop over 'em.
175
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:33,740
Hi, babe.
176
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,870
Here. Keys.
177
00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:40,581
Hey, Jamie, what would you rather be?
A lion or a panda?
178
00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:43,041
Coach, I'm me.
179
00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:44,543
Why would I wanna be anything else?
180
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:47,880
I'm not sure you realize how
psychologically healthy that actually is.
181
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:50,716
Cheers.
182
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:52,843
Night Court.
183
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,178
Wow.
184
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,888
-He's a lion.
-Definitely lion.
185
00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:58,640
You know pandas eat their weight
in bamboo? My little boy told me that.
186
00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,267
-No!
-What are you talking about?
187
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,810
Pandas are capable of it.
188
00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:03,854
I don't know how often
they actually do that.
189
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,691
Sam's down in every stat since Nigeria.
190
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,568
Maybe the Premiership's too much for him.
191
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,987
No, he just needs to get
a little more comfy here, that's all.
192
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,199
-He turns 20 on Saturday.
-There we go. A birthday.
193
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,617
We'll do something special for him.
194
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,952
Nudge that ship
in the right direction, yeah?
195
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,037
Hey.
196
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:25,792
Let's see what we got here.
197
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:26,877
"Wanker."
198
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,881
Let's see what else we got.
"Piss off, wanker."
199
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,718
"I hope you choke on a Big Mac."
200
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,304
-Good thing these are anonymous.
-No, Roy signed that one.
201
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,388
-Roy.
-Here's a good one.
202
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:41,391
"Shower pressure is rubbish."
Make a note of that.
203
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:45,103
"Wanker." Yep.
204
00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:47,981
I'm not gonna say that word out loud.
205
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:49,942
Another "wanker."
206
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,945
You don't wanna let them
call you a wanker, Ted. It's bad.
207
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,363
What's a wanker?
208
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,450
I'm a visual learner,
so that's very helpful. Thank you.
209
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,285
My pleasure.
210
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,829
Okay, I got one.
211
00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:06,834
What if I joined forces
with a swashbuckling cat
212
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,212
to play tiny guitars
for women of the night
213
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,714
as we read Alex Haley's most seminal work?
214
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,466
You'd be in cahoots with Puss in Boots,
215
00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,844
playing lutes for prostitutes,
reading Roots.
216
00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:19,346
No, The Autobiography of Malcolm X.
I gotcha.
217
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,597
All right.
218
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:23,392
Here we go. Hey, hold my beer.
219
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:26,645
All right, see what you got, young lady.
Come on. What you got? What you got?
220
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,230
Are you kidding me?
221
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,315
You see that?
222
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:32,025
She spun you around
like the Tasmanian Devil.
223
00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:34,653
Yeah, she did.
Except without all that annoying...
224
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,120
Wrong again.
225
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,707
Why is this so hard for you, Higgins?
226
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,417
What time is it?
227
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,752
It's "Biscuits with the Boss" time!
228
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,422
And Higgins! Hey.
229
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:55,048
Three's a crowd.
230
00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:57,676
Hey, that's a crowd I don't mind being
smack-dab in the middle of, buddy.
231
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:01,013
Hey, boss. Check this out. Pow.
232
00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,723
Let's tie up some loose ends
from yesterday.
233
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,516
First concert, Kenny Rogers, right?
234
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,728
Best concert,
we got Beastie Boys at HORDE Fest, 1995.
235
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,104
You're gonna love this story.
236
00:12:09,188 --> 00:12:11,023
Actually, did y'all get the O.J. trial
over here?
237
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:14,443
Ted, please. I can't just have you
waltzing in here whenever you wish.
238
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,987
What if I soft-shoe in, huh?
Little something like that.
239
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,530
Or I can moonwalk in.
240
00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:21,283
Despite recent headlines,
it's still a fun dance move to do.
241
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:24,077
-Ted, Ted.
-You gotta see the way I see it, okay?
242
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,705
Everybody in this building,
part of the team. Part of AFC Richmond.
243
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,248
Team's gotta bond. All right?
244
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,125
I mean, heck,
Higgins and I are having lunch today.
245
00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:32,377
Yes. We're having salads in my office.
246
00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:33,795
All right, catch you later, boss.
247
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:35,631
Higgins, see you at lunch, huh?
248
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,007
Caesar you later.
249
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,387
Yes. Yes.
250
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,725
He's intolerable.
251
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,021
Boy. That is bad.
252
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,398
Somebody ought to check
this thing's prostate.
253
00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:54,900
Jeez.
254
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,070
Yeah.
255
00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:00,072
Hey, Sam.
You gotta pop upstairs real quick.
256
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,990
Higgins wants to talk to you.
257
00:13:02,074 --> 00:13:03,492
Let's go. Move it, move it.
258
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,871
Yep, yep. He's gone, he's gone.
259
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:10,541
Shut the door, shut the door.
Hey. Yo, hey, guys. Listen up, listen up.
260
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:12,417
Okay, Sam's birthday is on Saturday.
261
00:13:12,501 --> 00:13:14,920
So I was thinking we'd all chip in
and get him something nice.
262
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,338
Nice gift or something. Right?
263
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,508
So, Nate's gonna be coming around
with yet another impressive box.
264
00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,426
Look at this. It's got a face!
265
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,971
-He has a face.
-Sorry, it-- He. He.
266
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,139
-You put the money in his mouth.
-Okay, you hear that, y'all?
267
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:29,560
You put the money in his mouth.
Got it? Okay, good.
268
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,811
Go get 'em, Nate.
269
00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:32,563
Okay? Help him out.
270
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,941
All right. Lovely. Thanks, Colin.
271
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,780
You put the money in his mouth.
272
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,284
Yummy for you.
273
00:13:48,287 --> 00:13:51,290
It's spearmint. Make the money smell nice.
274
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,625
Thank you, Jamie.
That's incredibly thoughtful.
275
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,963
Hey, Jamie. Real quick.
276
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:01,383
Just wanna have a chat.
Did you put gum in the box there?
277
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,385
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Now, why'd you go and do that?
278
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,554
-Sorry, Coach.
-Nate's just trying to help us out here.
279
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:08,140
-He's part of the team, right?
-Yeah, right, Coach. Yeah, yeah.
280
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,892
And I see this team like a band.
281
00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:12,811
-I love that.
-And if we were the Rolling Stones,
282
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,856
I'd be Mick Jagger,
'cause I'm the front man.
283
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,149
-Sure.
-I got the moves.
284
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:19,234
Got a tiny waist, yeah.
The whole bit. I get it.
285
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:21,695
And Roy would be Keith Richards,
286
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,072
'cause he's old and everyone's surprised
he ain't dead yet.
287
00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:25,574
What the fuck are you saying?
288
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:27,326
Roy, mate,
if you're gonna go to the shower,
289
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,536
you should take
your sweater off first, pal.
290
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,045
I'm just taking the piss, mate. Yeah.
291
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:39,880
I'll be better. Promise.
292
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:41,882
Glad to hear it. Yeah.
293
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,140
Marcus, what you got?
294
00:14:50,224 --> 00:14:52,643
How are you feeling about taking on
Crystal Palace this weekend?
295
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:55,938
A palace made out of crystal
seems mighty fragile if you ask me.
296
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,106
-Coach.
-Coach!
297
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:01,401
-Yeah, right there.
-Trent Crimm, The Independent.
298
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,028
I remember, Trent.
299
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:06,281
I'm just curious.
Could you explain the offside rule?
300
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,077
Well, Trent, I'm gonna put it the same way
the US Supreme Court did
301
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,247
back in 1964
when they defined pornography.
302
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,499
It ain't easy to explain,
but you know it when you see it.
303
00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:20,629
-Yeah, this gentleman right here.
-Ernie Lounds, The Sun.
304
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:21,922
Thank you.
305
00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:23,924
This question's for Ms. Mannion.
306
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:27,219
-It's "Welton."
-Of course. My apologies.
307
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,721
Any thoughts on the newest Rupert girl?
308
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:33,642
Well, Rupert and I are
no longer together, so...
309
00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:37,646
He may consort with whatever
model-actress, actress-model he pleases.
310
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:42,025
No, the girl who came forward today
is another one who was with Rupert
311
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,110
while you were married.
312
00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:46,697
I mean,
she says it started five years ago.
313
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,325
And they kept it going until, well, still.
314
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,123
Oh.
315
00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:00,252
And all this time
I thought men couldn't multitask.
316
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:04,006
I'm afraid that's all we have time for.
317
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,465
Thank you so much.
318
00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:06,550
Coach!
319
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,767
Hey. How are you?
320
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,895
Just wanna make sure you're doing okay.
321
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,563
You know,
that was pretty rough back there.
322
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,815
I expect nothing less from the press.
323
00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:22,900
Yeah.
324
00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:27,362
Sorry, did you need somebody to post that?
Because that person's not me.
325
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:31,491
No, come on.
This is a care package from my little boy.
326
00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:35,329
Maybe something in here
can help cheer you up, yeah?
327
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,706
Got a small battalion of army men.
328
00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:39,750
Says here on the card that
329
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:42,544
I'm supposed to set 'em up in my apartment
to help keep me safe.
330
00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:47,883
-Homemade kazoo.
-Excellent.
331
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:50,469
Only got one of those though,
so you can't have that.
332
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:51,970
Hey now.
333
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:53,805
Look at that right there.
334
00:16:53,889 --> 00:16:57,768
You know, this right here is some
of the best barbecue sauce in Kansas City,
335
00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:00,687
which makes it some of the best
barbecue sauce in the world.
336
00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:03,774
Yes!
337
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,609
You got some kind of food or something
that can teleport you back home,
338
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:07,819
make you feel warm and fuzzy?
339
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,198
No.
340
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,327
-Will that be all, Ted?
-No.
341
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:19,039
No, actually, the whole reason I'm here
is 'cause I'm having a little trouble
342
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,290
figuring out Jamie Tartt's
operating instructions,
343
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,961
and I was just seeing
if you happened to have any advice.
344
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,671
Sorry, I'm afraid--
345
00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:29,716
Your eyes just lit up.
You got an idea. What is it? Go on.
346
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,927
I was just gonna say
you should go and talk to Keeley.
347
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:35,347
I mean, you two have an obvious rapport.
If anyone knows Jamie, it's her.
348
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,599
See, that's why you're the boss, right?
349
00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:39,893
That's good.
Hey, tell you what I'm gonna do though.
350
00:17:39,977 --> 00:17:43,063
I'm gonna give you one of these stinkers.
Let's see. Let's get you a good one.
351
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:46,066
Okay, this right here is gonna be
your first line of defense,
352
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,861
in case that little turkey Ernie Lounds
comes back around, huh?
353
00:17:48,944 --> 00:17:51,613
How about that? We'll aim him
right at the door there for you.
354
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:54,199
All right, thanks, boss. I appreciate you.
355
00:17:57,953 --> 00:18:00,998
Yes! You look beautiful.
Just pet the lion.
356
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,417
Exactly!
357
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,627
I love it. Give me a growl, yeah.
358
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:08,797
Sexy, yeah.
359
00:18:08,881 --> 00:18:12,342
Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah, all right.
360
00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:13,886
Let's set up for the next shot.
361
00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:15,637
-Hi.
-Hey, how you doing?
362
00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:17,264
Yeah, I'm all right. How are you?
363
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,850
Yeah, not bad.
So, you went with the lion, huh?
364
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,436
-Yeah.
-I'm a little hurt, but it looks cool.
365
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,188
I look insane.
366
00:18:24,897 --> 00:18:27,149
But I do think it's a better look
than the panda.
367
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:30,485
Oh, yeah.
368
00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:33,155
-Fuck, I'm famished.
-Yeah?
369
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,740
Most lions are.
370
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,325
-Look. Let's get some food.
-Okay.
371
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,076
-You hungry?
-Yeah, is it free?
372
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,078
Gotta be pretty fun for you, yeah?
373
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:41,330
Yeah. I'm getting paid a shit ton
374
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:43,874
to get dressed up like an animal
and sell caffeinated vodka.
375
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,584
But I do get to go home with the paws.
376
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,711
Well, there's the perks right there. Yeah.
377
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,963
-Can I have a bite?
-Yeah. There you go.
378
00:18:50,047 --> 00:18:51,965
-Thank you.
-Careful. You're welcome.
379
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:55,844
I know that you didn't
just pop down to feed me.
380
00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:59,014
No, you're right.
I wanted to ask you about Jamie.
381
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:00,849
Yeah.
382
00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:03,727
What would you say motivates him?
383
00:19:04,770 --> 00:19:05,938
Blow jobs.
384
00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:09,399
Is there a second option?
385
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:12,861
Go on, give us another bite.
386
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,072
Hey. There you are.
387
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,075
Now, look,
I know the kid's gonna be a star.
388
00:19:18,784 --> 00:19:21,078
I was kinda hoping he'd, you know, warm up
389
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,664
to the team building
I'm trying to do here. That's all.
390
00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:26,625
Actually, he responds well
to positive reinforcement.
391
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,502
-That's my wheelhouse.
-There you go, then.
392
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:29,837
Okay. Bite.
393
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,091
-Go on, give us one more bite.
-Here you go.
394
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:35,133
Yeah.
395
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,303
-That was a big one.
-Well, yep.
396
00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:39,680
You got some ketchup there.
397
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,515
Looks like you devoured an antelope.
398
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:42,891
-Help me.
-Just be careful. Hold on.
399
00:19:42,975 --> 00:19:44,476
Yeah, I feel that. There's a lot of it.
400
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,436
Yeah, it's a lot and I'm just--
401
00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:48,480
Richmond! Richmond!
402
00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:52,317
We are moments away from Crystal Palace
facing AFC Richmond
403
00:19:52,401 --> 00:19:54,570
and their new manager, Ted Lasso.
404
00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:59,491
While on the pitch, all eyes will surely
be on young phenom, Jamie Tartt.
405
00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:01,785
All right, fellas, here we go. Here we go.
406
00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:03,328
Coach, you got any last words?
407
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:06,415
-Speed on the outside.
-Speed on the outside. You heard the man.
408
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,458
That's all we got for you,
except for one thing.
409
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:11,086
And that's Happy Birthday, Sam!
410
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:22,681
Babatunde's the best.
411
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,101
-Hey.
-Hey, enjoy.
412
00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:29,396
Hey, man, you guys got me Chin Chin.
413
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:32,274
Wow, this is all I used to eat growing up.
414
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:35,944
We know you haven't been home in a while,
so we thought we'd bring some home to you.
415
00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:37,696
You guys, man.
416
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:51,293
-Hey. Happy Birthday, Sam.
-Thank you, Coach.
417
00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,170
We got a few things in there for you.
418
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,796
Coach, what's this?
419
00:20:55,464 --> 00:20:58,383
Well, my little boy gave me
a whole bunch of these.
420
00:20:58,467 --> 00:21:00,177
You know, help keep me safe
while I'm away.
421
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:02,888
I miss him, you know.
422
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,309
My dad used to-- always used
to pinch my earlobes for good luck.
423
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,812
Give me a fucking break.
424
00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:15,526
Sorry, Coach.
425
00:21:16,944 --> 00:21:19,196
Coach, is it okay if I don't keep this?
426
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:22,824
I don't really have the same fondness
for the American military that you do.
427
00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:24,910
Sure. Right.
428
00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:26,703
-Imperialism. Right. Yeah.
-Imperialism.
429
00:21:26,787 --> 00:21:28,413
Thank you, Coach. Thank you.
430
00:21:28,497 --> 00:21:29,414
All right, fellas.
431
00:21:29,498 --> 00:21:32,709
Let's get out there and show
Crystal Palace whose house this is, right?
432
00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:36,713
West meets South again.
433
00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:40,175
It's Derby Day in London,
and the atmosphere is electric.
434
00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:43,345
With a new owner in the boardroom
and a new manager in the dugout,
435
00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:47,266
will it be a new dawn
for the perennial underdog, AFC Richmond?
436
00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:50,727
Welcome to what the home fans call
the "Dogtrack."
437
00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:55,357
It's Nelson Road Stadium,
for AFC Richmond against Crystal Palace.
438
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,277
I'm Arlo White and this is Chris Powell.
439
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,028
And it's great to be here, Arlo.
440
00:22:00,654 --> 00:22:02,239
-You ready?
-Your fly is down.
441
00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:04,616
Thank you.
442
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:05,701
All right, shall we?
443
00:22:06,660 --> 00:22:08,745
Chris, did you ever play
under an American manager?
444
00:22:08,829 --> 00:22:12,332
Never did, Arlo. Wouldn't have minded it.
I do speak the language.
445
00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:16,336
Wanker! Wanker! Wanker!
446
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,306
To the fans at home,
we do apologize for the fruity language.
447
00:22:27,389 --> 00:22:29,141
Wanker! Wanker!
448
00:22:29,725 --> 00:22:32,311
It was a risky hire
by new owner, Rebecca Welton.
449
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,646
Does she know something we don't?
450
00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:36,064
Wanker! Wanker!
451
00:22:36,148 --> 00:22:38,275
Oi! Give him a chance.
452
00:22:40,777 --> 00:22:42,070
Wanker!
453
00:22:42,154 --> 00:22:44,072
We got 90 minutes
to prove 'em wrong, yeah?
454
00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:45,782
Let's give it a shot.
455
00:22:45,866 --> 00:22:47,451
Here we go.
456
00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,205
And there you go.
457
00:22:51,288 --> 00:22:54,291
It's an inauspicious start
to the Ted Lasso era.
458
00:22:56,668 --> 00:23:01,757
Richmond looked disjointed, uninspired,
and, you have to say, joyless.
459
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,426
Palace win and Richmond lose 4-1.
460
00:23:04,510 --> 00:23:07,888
The only bright spot being
the defensive play of Sam Obisanya.
461
00:23:07,971 --> 00:23:09,223
Only bright spot?
462
00:23:09,681 --> 00:23:12,809
Without me, it would've been 4-0,
you miserable old pricks.
463
00:23:12,893 --> 00:23:15,854
And a meaningless consolation goal
for Jamie Tartt in injury time.
464
00:23:15,938 --> 00:23:17,231
Thank you!
465
00:23:18,357 --> 00:23:19,983
Jamie. Real quick.
466
00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:21,527
Regarding Jamie Tartt,
467
00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:24,613
it was an insignificant goal
by the Manchester City loanee,
468
00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:27,074
but he celebrated
like he'd just won the World Cup.
469
00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:32,287
I haven't known you that long, but...
470
00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:36,208
I can honestly say you are
the best athlete I have ever coached.
471
00:23:38,377 --> 00:23:39,378
Wow.
472
00:23:40,546 --> 00:23:42,798
Yeah. I mean, I work hard, yeah.
473
00:23:42,881 --> 00:23:43,882
I see it.
474
00:23:44,508 --> 00:23:46,969
You are truly great
at everything you do out there.
475
00:23:47,970 --> 00:23:49,179
Except for one thing.
476
00:23:49,263 --> 00:23:50,347
My left foot cross?
477
00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:54,643
No. Jamie, I think that you might be
so sure that you're one in a million,
478
00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:58,105
that sometimes you forget that out there,
you're just one of eleven.
479
00:23:59,857 --> 00:24:04,236
And if you just figure out some way
to turn that "me" into "us"...
480
00:24:06,738 --> 00:24:08,198
the sky's the limit for you.
481
00:24:10,701 --> 00:24:12,494
Was a heck of a goal out there,
by the way.
482
00:24:13,412 --> 00:24:14,538
Thanks.
483
00:24:19,668 --> 00:24:22,129
Richmond fall to 13th place.
484
00:24:22,212 --> 00:24:23,964
I'm sure they won't be there very long.
485
00:24:24,047 --> 00:24:25,465
Is that optimism, Chris?
486
00:24:25,549 --> 00:24:27,968
No. Actually, I'm wearing
Obsession by Calvin Klein.
487
00:24:28,051 --> 00:24:30,137
That was fucking embarrassing!
488
00:24:31,180 --> 00:24:33,891
I am equally livid.
489
00:24:33,974 --> 00:24:35,058
-Blimey, mate.
-Jesus Christ.
490
00:24:35,142 --> 00:24:36,602
Oh, my God.
491
00:24:36,685 --> 00:24:38,437
-Didn't know he had it in him.
-Good lad.
492
00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:43,317
Oh, my God.
493
00:24:53,452 --> 00:24:54,453
Hey, come on now.
494
00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:56,663
Hey, let's shake this one off, all right?
495
00:24:56,747 --> 00:24:59,082
Start getting better on Monday.
Until then--
496
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:03,587
Hey, DJ Beard-o, why don't you help
pick up the mood in here, all right?
497
00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:07,382
Little Phife Dawg and Q-Tip comin' at you.
498
00:25:08,217 --> 00:25:10,260
Come on now. Everybody get some cake.
499
00:25:10,344 --> 00:25:13,180
You know, it's Sam's birthday.
Go ahead, get some sugar in your system.
500
00:25:13,263 --> 00:25:14,264
Go on now.
501
00:25:22,523 --> 00:25:24,024
Hey, y'all.
502
00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:28,153
I come bearing sweet treats
to numb the sting of defeat.
503
00:25:30,072 --> 00:25:31,615
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
504
00:25:31,698 --> 00:25:35,452
And hey, just so you know, we can play
a lot better than we showed today.
505
00:25:37,246 --> 00:25:41,500
I know it would mean a lot to the guys
if y'all just came down, joined in.
506
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,418
Let 'em know you're still in their corner.
507
00:25:44,878 --> 00:25:47,005
That's all the arm twisting
I'm gonna do though, okay?
508
00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:51,510
Ted, you know what might convince me?
509
00:25:52,427 --> 00:25:55,722
If you told me where you got
these delicious biscuits.
510
00:25:56,765 --> 00:25:59,852
Well, if I did that, I wouldn't be able
to bring you more on Monday, would I?
511
00:26:01,770 --> 00:26:03,605
All right. Hope to see y'all downstairs.
512
00:26:04,731 --> 00:26:05,732
It's good cake.
513
00:26:08,318 --> 00:26:10,404
Jamie! Trent Crimm, The Independent.
514
00:26:10,487 --> 00:26:14,533
That was quite a beating today.
How you taking the loss?
515
00:26:15,284 --> 00:26:18,954
Look, it's not just me though, is it?
We're a team. I'm just one of eleven.
516
00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:21,748
-Candy from a baby.
-Okay.
517
00:26:21,832 --> 00:26:22,833
They were rubbish.
518
00:26:27,504 --> 00:26:30,424
Fuck it. Yeah,
I am taking it pretty hard, you know?
519
00:26:30,507 --> 00:26:32,885
The rest of them,
they're all in there eating cake.
520
00:26:32,968 --> 00:26:35,137
-Seriously?
-Yeah, seriously, mate.
521
00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:38,640
The new gaffer's got music on in there.
It's like a party. It's a joke.
522
00:26:59,870 --> 00:27:03,498
Careful, son.
The gaffer's fixed the water pressure.
523
00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:06,585
I hate losing.
524
00:27:06,668 --> 00:27:08,128
Bird by bird, Coach.
525
00:27:08,212 --> 00:27:10,047
-Good night, Coach.
-Night, Coach.
526
00:27:12,883 --> 00:27:14,051
Here's trouble.
527
00:27:14,885 --> 00:27:17,012
-I saw the match.
-Yeah? What'd you think?
528
00:27:17,095 --> 00:27:18,263
You were rubbish.
529
00:27:19,097 --> 00:27:20,974
-Yeah, maybe so.
-Yeah.
530
00:27:21,058 --> 00:27:22,976
I did wanna get your advice on one thing.
531
00:27:23,977 --> 00:27:26,480
What do you think-- Look at that! Got ya!
532
00:27:26,563 --> 00:27:28,565
-Yeah? All right, I underestimated you.
-Yeah.
533
00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:31,193
See, no one sees me coming.
Come on, what you got? What you got?
534
00:27:31,276 --> 00:27:33,612
That was quick.
Okay, I'm gonna take my backpack off now.
535
00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:34,780
We're gonna really do this.
536
00:27:34,863 --> 00:27:37,032
-Let me stretch here a little bit.
-All right. Yeah.
537
00:27:37,115 --> 00:27:39,368
Here we go. Okay.
All right, now you're in trouble.
538
00:27:39,451 --> 00:27:40,786
Get your breath back.
539
00:27:56,969 --> 00:27:58,136
What?
540
00:27:58,220 --> 00:27:59,388
I just sent you the pictures.
541
00:28:04,059 --> 00:28:05,561
That's exactly what I wanted.
542
00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:10,816
The star player's girlfriend
and the new manager.
543
00:28:12,484 --> 00:28:14,069
Are you sure you want to do this?
544
00:28:14,152 --> 00:28:16,488
The press will eat them alive.
545
00:28:27,082 --> 00:28:28,500
Miss Welton?
546
00:28:34,089 --> 00:28:35,174
Do it.