1 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,822 -Morning, Coach. -Morning, Coach. 2 00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:32,073 You wanna grab some breakfast? 3 00:00:32,156 --> 00:00:34,368 Nah, I just had one piece of cereal and I'm pretty stuffed. 4 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,786 Could go for coffee though. 5 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,287 Yeah. 6 00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,082 You know what today feels like? 7 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,835 -First day of school. -First day of school. That's right. 8 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:44,753 That's close. 9 00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,841 -What about you, Coach? How you feeling? -A little nervous. 10 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,385 Well, heck, yeah. No such thing as "last-day jitters." 11 00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,305 Gotta look right, Coach. 12 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,558 Yeah. I'm gonna get that someday. 13 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:00,561 So blues 14 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,729 -I can tell you -Check out my man here. 15 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,441 So blues, I can tell you 16 00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,580 A girl's not gettin' by me. 17 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:27,129 Sometimes the best way to stick it to the man is go right between his legs, huh? 18 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,964 -We gotta go, Coach. -Yeah. 19 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:38,891 Knock-a-doodle-do. 20 00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:42,102 -Good morning, Coach Lasso. -Hey, look at us. 21 00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:44,146 Couple of worm-addicted early birds, am I right? 22 00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,399 Well, I'm glad I caught ya. I brought you a little something. 23 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,234 Yeah. Cookies. 24 00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,612 Or as y'all call 'em here, biscuits, right? 25 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:55,449 Though, I do not recommend you smother these in gravy. 26 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,825 Ted, I don't really-- 27 00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:59,119 Come on now. Take a lookie there. 28 00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:01,079 -Those do look good. -Right? 29 00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,247 Go ahead, take a nibble. 30 00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:05,125 That's it. Away you go. 31 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,253 Fuck me. 32 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,590 Where did you get these? 33 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:12,966 I'm glad you like 'em. 34 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,052 You know what? I'll start bringing these to ya every morning. 35 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,345 Call it "Biscuits with the Boss." 36 00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,430 That really isn't necessary. 37 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:21,225 Okay, well, mark this down as the first time we disagree then. 38 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,810 Actually, no, second time. Tea is horrible. 39 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,855 Absolute garbage water. I don't know why y'all do that. 40 00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:28,982 Anyhoo, you know, we can't really be good partners 41 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,943 -unless we get to know each other, right? -Ted-- 42 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,861 We're gonna start simple. Real easy, real easy one. 43 00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,905 We're gonna do first concert, best concert. 44 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,074 You go ahead and go first. Go. Right off the bat. Come on. 45 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,118 The Spice Girls. And... the Spice Girls. 46 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:43,497 Same answer for both? I love that. My turn. First concert. 47 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:46,416 I mean, come on. It was "The Gambler" himself, Mr. Kenny Rogers. 48 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,836 Okay, I'm sorry-- 49 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:49,920 Ted-- 50 00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,258 Coach Lasso. 51 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,221 Stop. Ted, I'm sorry. 52 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:03,725 "Biscuits with the Boss" is not something that I have time for this morning. 53 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,561 Or ever. 54 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,939 -I hear ya, boss. Loud and clear. -There we go. 55 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,190 Okay. 56 00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:12,109 You're gonna show up tomorrow with biscuits, aren't you? 57 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,278 Come on now. I would not bet on that. 58 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,155 I mean, unless you wanna win a buttload of money. 59 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,032 High five, tree. 60 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,820 Remember what you said to me our first day coaching at Wichita State? 61 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,238 Lose the ponytail? 62 00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:00,324 Relax. They're just kids. 63 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,704 Well, these fellas sure as heck ain't kids. 64 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:09,291 Hey, look at Isaac. He looks like a Rodin sculpture in cleats. 65 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,793 Boots. 66 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,170 They call cleats "boots." 67 00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,298 I thought you said that the trunk of a car was a boot. 68 00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:17,632 Also a boot. 69 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,927 Hold on now. If I were to get fired from my job 70 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,845 where I'm puttin' cleats in the trunk of my car-- 71 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,056 You got the boot from puttin' boots in the boot. 72 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:25,557 I love that. 73 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:30,062 All right, gentlemen. Let's go ahead and do a little seven on seven. 74 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,314 We're gonna call this drill "The Exorcist" 75 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,483 'cause it's all about controlling possession. 76 00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:36,735 All right, let's go! 77 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:43,700 Fuck! 78 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:53,627 Someone get some flowers, 'cause this spot here is where Sam died. 79 00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,297 It's very sad. 80 00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,550 Oi. Walk away, you little prick. 81 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,677 All right, granddad. Keep your wig on. 82 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,097 -Thanks, Roy. -Yeah, you're good. 83 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,265 Hey, Sam, come here a sec. 84 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:09,768 Coach, I'm sorry. 85 00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:11,854 You know what the happiest animal on earth is? 86 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,690 It's a goldfish. 87 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,024 You know why? 88 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,194 -No. -Got a ten-second memory. 89 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,447 Be a goldfish, Sam. Yeah? 90 00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:29,830 Yeah, you got it. Go ahead. 91 00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,210 -Hey, Nate. -Who, me? 92 00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:37,004 Yeah. Until we get another Nate here, 93 00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,464 I just need you to assume you're my default Nate, okay? 94 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,842 Come on, question for ya. What's the buzz on Sam here? 95 00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,177 Seems a little down in the dumps. 96 00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:47,639 Yeah, he's been underachieving since he got here from Nigeria, so... 97 00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:50,475 Yeah, well, first time away from home is never easy. 98 00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,936 We're gonna have to do something to Ni-cheer-ia him up, man. 99 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,025 You still laughing at stuff you don't think is funny, huh? 100 00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,110 I'm not always sure what's a joke and what isn't. 101 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,029 Yeah, it's tough to tell these days, isn't it? 102 00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,947 Go, Lasso! Go, Lasso, go! 103 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:08,076 Go, Lasso! Go, Lasso, go! Go, Lasso! Go, Lasso, go! 104 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:09,912 Higgins. 105 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,122 Ted Lasso was in my office. 106 00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,958 "What's the first concert you ever saw?" 107 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,961 -Boy George. -Not you, you garden gnome. 108 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,546 He wants us to get together every morning 109 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,381 to get to know me and hear what I've got to say. 110 00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,508 The nerve! 111 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:25,260 I mean, the man's just relentless and nice. 112 00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:27,554 Everywhere he's been, his players seem to love him. 113 00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:29,640 It's the one thing that could just muck this up. 114 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,183 Hello, boys. 115 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:32,893 Up top. 116 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,730 -Hello, Miss Welton. -Hello, Miss Welton. 117 00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:43,987 Higgins, do you know which of the players has the most sway in the locker room? 118 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,031 No. 119 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,994 So helpful. Then solve me this different mystery. 120 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,121 Find out where Lasso got those biscuits. 121 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,375 Watch out, biscuits! Higgins is on the case. 122 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:04,716 All right, fellas. Excuse me. 123 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:05,884 Listen up! 124 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,846 Thank you, Coach. 125 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,223 Now, we got Crystal Palace coming here on Saturday. 126 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:12,474 Anything we need to know, Coach? 127 00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:15,477 -Lot of speed on the outside. -Okay. Anything else? 128 00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:17,062 Lot of speed. 129 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,355 Okay, you heard the man. 130 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,691 Y'all whipped 'em up pretty good earlier this year, 131 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,652 so me and Coach ain't gonna mess with the game plan. 132 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,237 But... 133 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,115 we would like to start fiddling with the way we do things in the locker room. 134 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,242 And if the Internet has taught us anything, 135 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:34,079 it's that sometimes it's easier to speak our minds anonymously. 136 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:37,457 Right? So I asked Nate here to make us a good old-fashioned suggestion box. 137 00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,126 Hey, look at that. 138 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:42,171 Yeah, did it with my niece. She loves crafts, so-- 139 00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,256 Yeah. I love glimpses into your personal life. 140 00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:45,340 This is lovely. 141 00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,801 So, if anything's got y'all hot and bothered, 142 00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:49,303 just go ahead and drop us a note. 143 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,890 You could have issue with the color of the towels 144 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,184 or, heck, the food in the vending machine. 145 00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:56,268 Sound good? 146 00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,772 Okay, great. See y'all tomorrow. 147 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,651 Oi. We're middle of the table, we've lost three of four, 148 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,988 and you wanna know if the snacks in the locker room are tasty enough? 149 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,281 Are they? 150 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:10,991 Jesus Christ. 151 00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:14,286 They are not. 152 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,638 That's a long time to wait, Ted. 153 00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:35,807 Well, I respect you didn't hurry. 154 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,393 So, how was your first official day? 155 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:39,477 I'm not entirely sure 156 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,063 what y'all's smallest unit of measurement is over here, 157 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:44,358 but that's about how much headway I made. 158 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,527 And yet, you seem undeterred. 159 00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:52,074 Solid entrance. 160 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,745 What would you rather be, a lion or a panda? 161 00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,121 I don't have time for this. 162 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,123 Okay. 163 00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,708 -Ted? -Gotta go panda. 164 00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:06,505 Are you mad? Pandas are fat and lazy and have piss-stained fur. 165 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:10,300 Lions are powerful and majestic and rule the jungle. 166 00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,553 Try telling that to an elephant. Can I be an elephant? 167 00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:13,679 Lion or panda. 168 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:14,930 -Panda. -Lion! 169 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,182 -What's black and white and red all over? -I don't know. What? 170 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:21,186 A panda that gets anywhere near a fucking lion. The answer is lion. 171 00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:23,814 All right. 172 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,275 That Rebecca is an intimidating, very tall woman. 173 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:29,152 I mean, the minute she locked eyes with me, I started sweating. 174 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:32,656 Oh, no. She got some fences, all right, but you just gotta hop over 'em. 175 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:33,740 Hi, babe. 176 00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,870 Here. Keys. 177 00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:40,581 Hey, Jamie, what would you rather be? A lion or a panda? 178 00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:43,041 Coach, I'm me. 179 00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:44,543 Why would I wanna be anything else? 180 00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:47,880 I'm not sure you realize how psychologically healthy that actually is. 181 00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:50,716 Cheers. 182 00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:52,843 Night Court. 183 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,178 Wow. 184 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,888 -He's a lion. -Definitely lion. 185 00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:58,640 You know pandas eat their weight in bamboo? My little boy told me that. 186 00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,267 -No! -What are you talking about? 187 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,810 Pandas are capable of it. 188 00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:03,854 I don't know how often they actually do that. 189 00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,691 Sam's down in every stat since Nigeria. 190 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,568 Maybe the Premiership's too much for him. 191 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,987 No, he just needs to get a little more comfy here, that's all. 192 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,199 -He turns 20 on Saturday. -There we go. A birthday. 193 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,617 We'll do something special for him. 194 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,952 Nudge that ship in the right direction, yeah? 195 00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,037 Hey. 196 00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:25,792 Let's see what we got here. 197 00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:26,877 "Wanker." 198 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,881 Let's see what else we got. "Piss off, wanker." 199 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,718 "I hope you choke on a Big Mac." 200 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,304 -Good thing these are anonymous. -No, Roy signed that one. 201 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,388 -Roy. -Here's a good one. 202 00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:41,391 "Shower pressure is rubbish." Make a note of that. 203 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:45,103 "Wanker." Yep. 204 00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:47,981 I'm not gonna say that word out loud. 205 00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:49,942 Another "wanker." 206 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,945 You don't wanna let them call you a wanker, Ted. It's bad. 207 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,363 What's a wanker? 208 00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,450 I'm a visual learner, so that's very helpful. Thank you. 209 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,285 My pleasure. 210 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,829 Okay, I got one. 211 00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:06,834 What if I joined forces with a swashbuckling cat 212 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,212 to play tiny guitars for women of the night 213 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,714 as we read Alex Haley's most seminal work? 214 00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,466 You'd be in cahoots with Puss in Boots, 215 00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,844 playing lutes for prostitutes, reading Roots. 216 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:19,346 No, The Autobiography of Malcolm X. I gotcha. 217 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,597 All right. 218 00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:23,392 Here we go. Hey, hold my beer. 219 00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:26,645 All right, see what you got, young lady. Come on. What you got? What you got? 220 00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,230 Are you kidding me? 221 00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,315 You see that? 222 00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:32,025 She spun you around like the Tasmanian Devil. 223 00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:34,653 Yeah, she did. Except without all that annoying... 224 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,120 Wrong again. 225 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,707 Why is this so hard for you, Higgins? 226 00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,417 What time is it? 227 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,752 It's "Biscuits with the Boss" time! 228 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,422 And Higgins! Hey. 229 00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:55,048 Three's a crowd. 230 00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:57,676 Hey, that's a crowd I don't mind being smack-dab in the middle of, buddy. 231 00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:01,013 Hey, boss. Check this out. Pow. 232 00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,723 Let's tie up some loose ends from yesterday. 233 00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,516 First concert, Kenny Rogers, right? 234 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,728 Best concert, we got Beastie Boys at HORDE Fest, 1995. 235 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,104 You're gonna love this story. 236 00:12:09,188 --> 00:12:11,023 Actually, did y'all get the O.J. trial over here? 237 00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:14,443 Ted, please. I can't just have you waltzing in here whenever you wish. 238 00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,987 What if I soft-shoe in, huh? Little something like that. 239 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,530 Or I can moonwalk in. 240 00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:21,283 Despite recent headlines, it's still a fun dance move to do. 241 00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:24,077 -Ted, Ted. -You gotta see the way I see it, okay? 242 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,705 Everybody in this building, part of the team. Part of AFC Richmond. 243 00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,248 Team's gotta bond. All right? 244 00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,125 I mean, heck, Higgins and I are having lunch today. 245 00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:32,377 Yes. We're having salads in my office. 246 00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:33,795 All right, catch you later, boss. 247 00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:35,631 Higgins, see you at lunch, huh? 248 00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,007 Caesar you later. 249 00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,387 Yes. Yes. 250 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,725 He's intolerable. 251 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,021 Boy. That is bad. 252 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,398 Somebody ought to check this thing's prostate. 253 00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:54,900 Jeez. 254 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,070 Yeah. 255 00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:00,072 Hey, Sam. You gotta pop upstairs real quick. 256 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,990 Higgins wants to talk to you. 257 00:13:02,074 --> 00:13:03,492 Let's go. Move it, move it. 258 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,871 Yep, yep. He's gone, he's gone. 259 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:10,541 Shut the door, shut the door. Hey. Yo, hey, guys. Listen up, listen up. 260 00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:12,417 Okay, Sam's birthday is on Saturday. 261 00:13:12,501 --> 00:13:14,920 So I was thinking we'd all chip in and get him something nice. 262 00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,338 Nice gift or something. Right? 263 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,508 So, Nate's gonna be coming around with yet another impressive box. 264 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,426 Look at this. It's got a face! 265 00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,971 -He has a face. -Sorry, it-- He. He. 266 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,139 -You put the money in his mouth. -Okay, you hear that, y'all? 267 00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:29,560 You put the money in his mouth. Got it? Okay, good. 268 00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,811 Go get 'em, Nate. 269 00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:32,563 Okay? Help him out. 270 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,941 All right. Lovely. Thanks, Colin. 271 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,780 You put the money in his mouth. 272 00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,284 Yummy for you. 273 00:13:48,287 --> 00:13:51,290 It's spearmint. Make the money smell nice. 274 00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,625 Thank you, Jamie. That's incredibly thoughtful. 275 00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,963 Hey, Jamie. Real quick. 276 00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:01,383 Just wanna have a chat. Did you put gum in the box there? 277 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,385 -Yeah. Yeah. -Now, why'd you go and do that? 278 00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,554 -Sorry, Coach. -Nate's just trying to help us out here. 279 00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:08,140 -He's part of the team, right? -Yeah, right, Coach. Yeah, yeah. 280 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,892 And I see this team like a band. 281 00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:12,811 -I love that. -And if we were the Rolling Stones, 282 00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,856 I'd be Mick Jagger, 'cause I'm the front man. 283 00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,149 -Sure. -I got the moves. 284 00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:19,234 Got a tiny waist, yeah. The whole bit. I get it. 285 00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:21,695 And Roy would be Keith Richards, 286 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,072 'cause he's old and everyone's surprised he ain't dead yet. 287 00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:25,574 What the fuck are you saying? 288 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:27,326 Roy, mate, if you're gonna go to the shower, 289 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,536 you should take your sweater off first, pal. 290 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,045 I'm just taking the piss, mate. Yeah. 291 00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:39,880 I'll be better. Promise. 292 00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:41,882 Glad to hear it. Yeah. 293 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,140 Marcus, what you got? 294 00:14:50,224 --> 00:14:52,643 How are you feeling about taking on Crystal Palace this weekend? 295 00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:55,938 A palace made out of crystal seems mighty fragile if you ask me. 296 00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,106 -Coach. -Coach! 297 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:01,401 -Yeah, right there. -Trent Crimm, The Independent. 298 00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,028 I remember, Trent. 299 00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:06,281 I'm just curious. Could you explain the offside rule? 300 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,077 Well, Trent, I'm gonna put it the same way the US Supreme Court did 301 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,247 back in 1964 when they defined pornography. 302 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,499 It ain't easy to explain, but you know it when you see it. 303 00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:20,629 -Yeah, this gentleman right here. -Ernie Lounds, The Sun. 304 00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:21,922 Thank you. 305 00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:23,924 This question's for Ms. Mannion. 306 00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:27,219 -It's "Welton." -Of course. My apologies. 307 00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,721 Any thoughts on the newest Rupert girl? 308 00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:33,642 Well, Rupert and I are no longer together, so... 309 00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:37,646 He may consort with whatever model-actress, actress-model he pleases. 310 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:42,025 No, the girl who came forward today is another one who was with Rupert 311 00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,110 while you were married. 312 00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:46,697 I mean, she says it started five years ago. 313 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,325 And they kept it going until, well, still. 314 00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,123 Oh. 315 00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:00,252 And all this time I thought men couldn't multitask. 316 00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:04,006 I'm afraid that's all we have time for. 317 00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,465 Thank you so much. 318 00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:06,550 Coach! 319 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,767 Hey. How are you? 320 00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,895 Just wanna make sure you're doing okay. 321 00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,563 You know, that was pretty rough back there. 322 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,815 I expect nothing less from the press. 323 00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:22,900 Yeah. 324 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:27,362 Sorry, did you need somebody to post that? Because that person's not me. 325 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:31,491 No, come on. This is a care package from my little boy. 326 00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:35,329 Maybe something in here can help cheer you up, yeah? 327 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,706 Got a small battalion of army men. 328 00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:39,750 Says here on the card that 329 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:42,544 I'm supposed to set 'em up in my apartment to help keep me safe. 330 00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:47,883 -Homemade kazoo. -Excellent. 331 00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:50,469 Only got one of those though, so you can't have that. 332 00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:51,970 Hey now. 333 00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:53,805 Look at that right there. 334 00:16:53,889 --> 00:16:57,768 You know, this right here is some of the best barbecue sauce in Kansas City, 335 00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:00,687 which makes it some of the best barbecue sauce in the world. 336 00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:03,774 Yes! 337 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,609 You got some kind of food or something that can teleport you back home, 338 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:07,819 make you feel warm and fuzzy? 339 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,198 No. 340 00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,327 -Will that be all, Ted? -No. 341 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:19,039 No, actually, the whole reason I'm here is 'cause I'm having a little trouble 342 00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,290 figuring out Jamie Tartt's operating instructions, 343 00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,961 and I was just seeing if you happened to have any advice. 344 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,671 Sorry, I'm afraid-- 345 00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:29,716 Your eyes just lit up. You got an idea. What is it? Go on. 346 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,927 I was just gonna say you should go and talk to Keeley. 347 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:35,347 I mean, you two have an obvious rapport. If anyone knows Jamie, it's her. 348 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,599 See, that's why you're the boss, right? 349 00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:39,893 That's good. Hey, tell you what I'm gonna do though. 350 00:17:39,977 --> 00:17:43,063 I'm gonna give you one of these stinkers. Let's see. Let's get you a good one. 351 00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:46,066 Okay, this right here is gonna be your first line of defense, 352 00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,861 in case that little turkey Ernie Lounds comes back around, huh? 353 00:17:48,944 --> 00:17:51,613 How about that? We'll aim him right at the door there for you. 354 00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:54,199 All right, thanks, boss. I appreciate you. 355 00:17:57,953 --> 00:18:00,998 Yes! You look beautiful. Just pet the lion. 356 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,417 Exactly! 357 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,627 I love it. Give me a growl, yeah. 358 00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:08,797 Sexy, yeah. 359 00:18:08,881 --> 00:18:12,342 Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah, all right. 360 00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:13,886 Let's set up for the next shot. 361 00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:15,637 -Hi. -Hey, how you doing? 362 00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:17,264 Yeah, I'm all right. How are you? 363 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,850 Yeah, not bad. So, you went with the lion, huh? 364 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,436 -Yeah. -I'm a little hurt, but it looks cool. 365 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,188 I look insane. 366 00:18:24,897 --> 00:18:27,149 But I do think it's a better look than the panda. 367 00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:30,485 Oh, yeah. 368 00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:33,155 -Fuck, I'm famished. -Yeah? 369 00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,740 Most lions are. 370 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,325 -Look. Let's get some food. -Okay. 371 00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,076 -You hungry? -Yeah, is it free? 372 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,078 Gotta be pretty fun for you, yeah? 373 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:41,330 Yeah. I'm getting paid a shit ton 374 00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:43,874 to get dressed up like an animal and sell caffeinated vodka. 375 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,584 But I do get to go home with the paws. 376 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,711 Well, there's the perks right there. Yeah. 377 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,963 -Can I have a bite? -Yeah. There you go. 378 00:18:50,047 --> 00:18:51,965 -Thank you. -Careful. You're welcome. 379 00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:55,844 I know that you didn't just pop down to feed me. 380 00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:59,014 No, you're right. I wanted to ask you about Jamie. 381 00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:00,849 Yeah. 382 00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:03,727 What would you say motivates him? 383 00:19:04,770 --> 00:19:05,938 Blow jobs. 384 00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:09,399 Is there a second option? 385 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:12,861 Go on, give us another bite. 386 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,072 Hey. There you are. 387 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,075 Now, look, I know the kid's gonna be a star. 388 00:19:18,784 --> 00:19:21,078 I was kinda hoping he'd, you know, warm up 389 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,664 to the team building I'm trying to do here. That's all. 390 00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:26,625 Actually, he responds well to positive reinforcement. 391 00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,502 -That's my wheelhouse. -There you go, then. 392 00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:29,837 Okay. Bite. 393 00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,091 -Go on, give us one more bite. -Here you go. 394 00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:35,133 Yeah. 395 00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,303 -That was a big one. -Well, yep. 396 00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:39,680 You got some ketchup there. 397 00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,515 Looks like you devoured an antelope. 398 00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:42,891 -Help me. -Just be careful. Hold on. 399 00:19:42,975 --> 00:19:44,476 Yeah, I feel that. There's a lot of it. 400 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,436 Yeah, it's a lot and I'm just-- 401 00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:48,480 Richmond! Richmond! 402 00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:52,317 We are moments away from Crystal Palace facing AFC Richmond 403 00:19:52,401 --> 00:19:54,570 and their new manager, Ted Lasso. 404 00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:59,491 While on the pitch, all eyes will surely be on young phenom, Jamie Tartt. 405 00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:01,785 All right, fellas, here we go. Here we go. 406 00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:03,328 Coach, you got any last words? 407 00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:06,415 -Speed on the outside. -Speed on the outside. You heard the man. 408 00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,458 That's all we got for you, except for one thing. 409 00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:11,086 And that's Happy Birthday, Sam! 410 00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:22,681 Babatunde's the best. 411 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,101 -Hey. -Hey, enjoy. 412 00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:29,396 Hey, man, you guys got me Chin Chin. 413 00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:32,274 Wow, this is all I used to eat growing up. 414 00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:35,944 We know you haven't been home in a while, so we thought we'd bring some home to you. 415 00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:37,696 You guys, man. 416 00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:51,293 -Hey. Happy Birthday, Sam. -Thank you, Coach. 417 00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,170 We got a few things in there for you. 418 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,796 Coach, what's this? 419 00:20:55,464 --> 00:20:58,383 Well, my little boy gave me a whole bunch of these. 420 00:20:58,467 --> 00:21:00,177 You know, help keep me safe while I'm away. 421 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:02,888 I miss him, you know. 422 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,309 My dad used to-- always used to pinch my earlobes for good luck. 423 00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,812 Give me a fucking break. 424 00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:15,526 Sorry, Coach. 425 00:21:16,944 --> 00:21:19,196 Coach, is it okay if I don't keep this? 426 00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:22,824 I don't really have the same fondness for the American military that you do. 427 00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:24,910 Sure. Right. 428 00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:26,703 -Imperialism. Right. Yeah. -Imperialism. 429 00:21:26,787 --> 00:21:28,413 Thank you, Coach. Thank you. 430 00:21:28,497 --> 00:21:29,414 All right, fellas. 431 00:21:29,498 --> 00:21:32,709 Let's get out there and show Crystal Palace whose house this is, right? 432 00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:36,713 West meets South again. 433 00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:40,175 It's Derby Day in London, and the atmosphere is electric. 434 00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:43,345 With a new owner in the boardroom and a new manager in the dugout, 435 00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:47,266 will it be a new dawn for the perennial underdog, AFC Richmond? 436 00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:50,727 Welcome to what the home fans call the "Dogtrack." 437 00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:55,357 It's Nelson Road Stadium, for AFC Richmond against Crystal Palace. 438 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,277 I'm Arlo White and this is Chris Powell. 439 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,028 And it's great to be here, Arlo. 440 00:22:00,654 --> 00:22:02,239 -You ready? -Your fly is down. 441 00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:04,616 Thank you. 442 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:05,701 All right, shall we? 443 00:22:06,660 --> 00:22:08,745 Chris, did you ever play under an American manager? 444 00:22:08,829 --> 00:22:12,332 Never did, Arlo. Wouldn't have minded it. I do speak the language. 445 00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:16,336 Wanker! Wanker! Wanker! 446 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,306 To the fans at home, we do apologize for the fruity language. 447 00:22:27,389 --> 00:22:29,141 Wanker! Wanker! 448 00:22:29,725 --> 00:22:32,311 It was a risky hire by new owner, Rebecca Welton. 449 00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,646 Does she know something we don't? 450 00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:36,064 Wanker! Wanker! 451 00:22:36,148 --> 00:22:38,275 Oi! Give him a chance. 452 00:22:40,777 --> 00:22:42,070 Wanker! 453 00:22:42,154 --> 00:22:44,072 We got 90 minutes to prove 'em wrong, yeah? 454 00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:45,782 Let's give it a shot. 455 00:22:45,866 --> 00:22:47,451 Here we go. 456 00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,205 And there you go. 457 00:22:51,288 --> 00:22:54,291 It's an inauspicious start to the Ted Lasso era. 458 00:22:56,668 --> 00:23:01,757 Richmond looked disjointed, uninspired, and, you have to say, joyless. 459 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,426 Palace win and Richmond lose 4-1. 460 00:23:04,510 --> 00:23:07,888 The only bright spot being the defensive play of Sam Obisanya. 461 00:23:07,971 --> 00:23:09,223 Only bright spot? 462 00:23:09,681 --> 00:23:12,809 Without me, it would've been 4-0, you miserable old pricks. 463 00:23:12,893 --> 00:23:15,854 And a meaningless consolation goal for Jamie Tartt in injury time. 464 00:23:15,938 --> 00:23:17,231 Thank you! 465 00:23:18,357 --> 00:23:19,983 Jamie. Real quick. 466 00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:21,527 Regarding Jamie Tartt, 467 00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:24,613 it was an insignificant goal by the Manchester City loanee, 468 00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:27,074 but he celebrated like he'd just won the World Cup. 469 00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:32,287 I haven't known you that long, but... 470 00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:36,208 I can honestly say you are the best athlete I have ever coached. 471 00:23:38,377 --> 00:23:39,378 Wow. 472 00:23:40,546 --> 00:23:42,798 Yeah. I mean, I work hard, yeah. 473 00:23:42,881 --> 00:23:43,882 I see it. 474 00:23:44,508 --> 00:23:46,969 You are truly great at everything you do out there. 475 00:23:47,970 --> 00:23:49,179 Except for one thing. 476 00:23:49,263 --> 00:23:50,347 My left foot cross? 477 00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:54,643 No. Jamie, I think that you might be so sure that you're one in a million, 478 00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:58,105 that sometimes you forget that out there, you're just one of eleven. 479 00:23:59,857 --> 00:24:04,236 And if you just figure out some way to turn that "me" into "us"... 480 00:24:06,738 --> 00:24:08,198 the sky's the limit for you. 481 00:24:10,701 --> 00:24:12,494 Was a heck of a goal out there, by the way. 482 00:24:13,412 --> 00:24:14,538 Thanks. 483 00:24:19,668 --> 00:24:22,129 Richmond fall to 13th place. 484 00:24:22,212 --> 00:24:23,964 I'm sure they won't be there very long. 485 00:24:24,047 --> 00:24:25,465 Is that optimism, Chris? 486 00:24:25,549 --> 00:24:27,968 No. Actually, I'm wearing Obsession by Calvin Klein. 487 00:24:28,051 --> 00:24:30,137 That was fucking embarrassing! 488 00:24:31,180 --> 00:24:33,891 I am equally livid. 489 00:24:33,974 --> 00:24:35,058 -Blimey, mate. -Jesus Christ. 490 00:24:35,142 --> 00:24:36,602 Oh, my God. 491 00:24:36,685 --> 00:24:38,437 -Didn't know he had it in him. -Good lad. 492 00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:43,317 Oh, my God. 493 00:24:53,452 --> 00:24:54,453 Hey, come on now. 494 00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:56,663 Hey, let's shake this one off, all right? 495 00:24:56,747 --> 00:24:59,082 Start getting better on Monday. Until then-- 496 00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:03,587 Hey, DJ Beard-o, why don't you help pick up the mood in here, all right? 497 00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:07,382 Little Phife Dawg and Q-Tip comin' at you. 498 00:25:08,217 --> 00:25:10,260 Come on now. Everybody get some cake. 499 00:25:10,344 --> 00:25:13,180 You know, it's Sam's birthday. Go ahead, get some sugar in your system. 500 00:25:13,263 --> 00:25:14,264 Go on now. 501 00:25:22,523 --> 00:25:24,024 Hey, y'all. 502 00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:28,153 I come bearing sweet treats to numb the sting of defeat. 503 00:25:30,072 --> 00:25:31,615 -Yeah. -Thank you. 504 00:25:31,698 --> 00:25:35,452 And hey, just so you know, we can play a lot better than we showed today. 505 00:25:37,246 --> 00:25:41,500 I know it would mean a lot to the guys if y'all just came down, joined in. 506 00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,418 Let 'em know you're still in their corner. 507 00:25:44,878 --> 00:25:47,005 That's all the arm twisting I'm gonna do though, okay? 508 00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:51,510 Ted, you know what might convince me? 509 00:25:52,427 --> 00:25:55,722 If you told me where you got these delicious biscuits. 510 00:25:56,765 --> 00:25:59,852 Well, if I did that, I wouldn't be able to bring you more on Monday, would I? 511 00:26:01,770 --> 00:26:03,605 All right. Hope to see y'all downstairs. 512 00:26:04,731 --> 00:26:05,732 It's good cake. 513 00:26:08,318 --> 00:26:10,404 Jamie! Trent Crimm, The Independent. 514 00:26:10,487 --> 00:26:14,533 That was quite a beating today. How you taking the loss? 515 00:26:15,284 --> 00:26:18,954 Look, it's not just me though, is it? We're a team. I'm just one of eleven. 516 00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:21,748 -Candy from a baby. -Okay. 517 00:26:21,832 --> 00:26:22,833 They were rubbish. 518 00:26:27,504 --> 00:26:30,424 Fuck it. Yeah, I am taking it pretty hard, you know? 519 00:26:30,507 --> 00:26:32,885 The rest of them, they're all in there eating cake. 520 00:26:32,968 --> 00:26:35,137 -Seriously? -Yeah, seriously, mate. 521 00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:38,640 The new gaffer's got music on in there. It's like a party. It's a joke. 522 00:26:59,870 --> 00:27:03,498 Careful, son. The gaffer's fixed the water pressure. 523 00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:06,585 I hate losing. 524 00:27:06,668 --> 00:27:08,128 Bird by bird, Coach. 525 00:27:08,212 --> 00:27:10,047 -Good night, Coach. -Night, Coach. 526 00:27:12,883 --> 00:27:14,051 Here's trouble. 527 00:27:14,885 --> 00:27:17,012 -I saw the match. -Yeah? What'd you think? 528 00:27:17,095 --> 00:27:18,263 You were rubbish. 529 00:27:19,097 --> 00:27:20,974 -Yeah, maybe so. -Yeah. 530 00:27:21,058 --> 00:27:22,976 I did wanna get your advice on one thing. 531 00:27:23,977 --> 00:27:26,480 What do you think-- Look at that! Got ya! 532 00:27:26,563 --> 00:27:28,565 -Yeah? All right, I underestimated you. -Yeah. 533 00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:31,193 See, no one sees me coming. Come on, what you got? What you got? 534 00:27:31,276 --> 00:27:33,612 That was quick. Okay, I'm gonna take my backpack off now. 535 00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:34,780 We're gonna really do this. 536 00:27:34,863 --> 00:27:37,032 -Let me stretch here a little bit. -All right. Yeah. 537 00:27:37,115 --> 00:27:39,368 Here we go. Okay. All right, now you're in trouble. 538 00:27:39,451 --> 00:27:40,786 Get your breath back. 539 00:27:56,969 --> 00:27:58,136 What? 540 00:27:58,220 --> 00:27:59,388 I just sent you the pictures. 541 00:28:04,059 --> 00:28:05,561 That's exactly what I wanted. 542 00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:10,816 The star player's girlfriend and the new manager. 543 00:28:12,484 --> 00:28:14,069 Are you sure you want to do this? 544 00:28:14,152 --> 00:28:16,488 The press will eat them alive. 545 00:28:27,082 --> 00:28:28,500 Miss Welton? 546 00:28:34,089 --> 00:28:35,174 Do it.