1 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,660 Oh, boy. 2 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,413 Morning, fellas. Sorry I'm late. 3 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:40,542 Just needed to clear my head so I decided to, you know, walk to work. 4 00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:43,674 Turns out that clearing and walking in a town you don't know all too well 5 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,632 can be a little tricky. 6 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,052 Ended up getting lost but, you know, then I got unlost, 7 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,551 then I got lost again but... 8 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:53,263 Well, you know, now I'm here, you know. Beard's here, Nate's here, which is great 9 00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:55,305 because the world can be a sad, lonely place, but-- 10 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,599 Hey, come on now, let's get to work, shall we? 11 00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:58,773 Michelle. 12 00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:00,274 Which is fine. 13 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:03,062 You know, it's okay, 'cause it's a great time now for me to, 14 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,856 you know, bury myself in my work here. 15 00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,321 And so-- Although, I'm not crazy-- 16 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,571 I don't love the word "bury," you know what I mean? 17 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:11,783 It's just got a negative connotation to it, don't it? 18 00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:13,414 What's another word I could say? 19 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:17,700 Everyone loves a good bath, right? Just a nice warm bath, right? Yeah? 20 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,706 So that's what I'll say. I'll say, "I'm gonna bathe myself in work." 21 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,329 How 'bout that? That's good. That's good. 22 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,166 Nate, you got a favorite bath bomb, buddy? 23 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:27,301 No, I just don't really enjoy baths, just 'cause my skin gets really wrinkly, 24 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:29,089 and I'm deeply worried about aging. 25 00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:32,093 Okay, I get that. What about you, Coach? You got a favorite bath bomb? 26 00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:33,256 Crème brûlée honey. 27 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,553 Honey? Is that an ingredient or something you just called me? 28 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:36,807 -Ingredient. -Shoot. 29 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:39,599 I was hoping it was the other one. But that's kind of a fun idea. 30 00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:41,943 Maybe we start calling each other little pet names. 31 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:44,099 You know? Like "honey" or "babe," you know? 32 00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,058 It might be nice, right? What do you think, Coach? 33 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,324 Nate, will you do me a favor here? 34 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,570 Will you just help Coach plan practice for today? 35 00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,702 -Absolutely. Yeah. -All right. Thank you, sweetie. 36 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,779 Okay, I'll see y'all in a little bit. 37 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,950 -Is he all right? -No. 38 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,597 All right. Shall we? Sarah, why don't you lead us off? 39 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:28,186 So, Coach Lasso. You finally won your first match. 40 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:29,363 How's it feel? 41 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,151 Well, Sarah, I believe you can outscore your opponent and still lose. 42 00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:34,236 Just like you can score less than them and win. 43 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:37,031 But last week we definitely won, which is pretty darn fun. 44 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,539 All right, next question. 45 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,201 Trent Crimm, The Independent. 46 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:44,157 Trent Crimm, The Independent. 47 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,210 Is it safe to assume that Jamie Tartt will be back on the pitch next match? 48 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,883 Well, you know what they say when you assume, Trent? 49 00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:53,843 You make an arse outta you and me. Yeah? 50 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:56,887 And that right there is another example 51 00:02:56,969 --> 00:03:00,429 of how our English and y'all's English sometimes do not jive, innit? 52 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,189 But are you honestly gonna keep your best player on the bench? 53 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:08,809 Well, that depends on Jamie. He knows what we need from him. 54 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,017 Let's keep it going, yeah? Kip, come on, hit me. 55 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:14,358 -Ted. Just the man I wanted to see. -Hey, boss. 56 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:17,364 Your decision to bench Jamie Tartt was very brave. 57 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,487 -Thank you. -I mean, a masterstroke. 58 00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:21,575 I don't think we're allowed to talk like that at work anymore. 59 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,950 There's just one complication now. 60 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,406 Manchester City have called, 61 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:27,076 and they've inquired about terminating Jamie's loan. 62 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,587 -They're gonna take his house? -No. 63 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:32,958 Ted, Jamie's contract is owned by Manchester City, 64 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,296 and they, in turn, loaned him to Richmond for the season. 65 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,132 Okay. I get it. 66 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,467 They want Jamie back if you are planning to bench him. 67 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,143 I'm not planning on that. No, my plan is for my plan to work. 68 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,482 But you know what they say about the best-laid plans, right? 69 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,399 Said "plan" too many times. Word's lost all its meaning now. 70 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,608 Plan. Plan. Plan. Doesn't matter. 71 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:54,440 Hey, you tell Man City that this man has a plan. 72 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,486 -Plan. Plan. Plan? -Plan. 73 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,991 -Plan? -Not plan. 74 00:03:59,072 --> 00:03:59,952 -Plan. -Plan. 75 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,032 -Plan. -Like "flan." Plan. 76 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,697 Flan? That dessert? 77 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:04,995 Yes, like "flan." 78 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,038 No, I don't dig on flan. 79 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:09,792 Plan. Plan. 80 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:12,129 Plan. Plan? 81 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,464 -Word become a sound? -What's that called again? 82 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,126 -Semantic satiation. -Yeah. 83 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,224 Okay. All right. 84 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:20,721 Is that new kid from Mexico here yet? 85 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,852 -He's getting treatment on his knee. -Okay, good. 86 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,140 -What's his name again? -Dani Rojas. 87 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,434 Yeah. It's a great name. Okay. 88 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,638 How's Jamie doing? 89 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,395 What? 90 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,780 Says he can't practice today. Says he's hurt. 91 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:39,445 Oh, boy. 92 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,200 Hey, Jamie. 93 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,077 I heard you're not gonna be able to run with us today. That true? 94 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:47,541 Yep. 95 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:48,621 Why's that? 96 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,464 'Cause I'm hurt. 97 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,667 Really sorry to hear that. 98 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,760 Relax, Ted. It's just practice. 99 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,557 Hey. 100 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,312 If you can't practice, you can't practice. 101 00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:13,194 If you're hurt, you're hurt. It's as simple as that. 102 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:17,775 But it ain't about that... at all. 103 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,567 You're sitting in here. You're supposed to be the franchise player. 104 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,537 And yet here we are, talking about you missing practice. 105 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,707 We're talking about practice. 106 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,829 You understand me? Practice. 107 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,380 Not a game. 108 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:39,050 Not a game. Not the game you go out there and die for. Right? 109 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,671 Play every weekend like it's your last, right? 110 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:43,047 No, we're talking about practice, man. 111 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:45,795 Practice! You know you're supposed to be out there. 112 00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:47,348 You know you're supposed to lead by example. 113 00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:49,391 You're just shoving that all aside. 114 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,904 And so here we are, Jamie. We're talking about practice. 115 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,558 Not a game. 116 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:55,606 Not the game. 117 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,899 We're talking about practice, with your team. With your teammates. 118 00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:02,612 The only place we get to play together, we got control over. 119 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,906 Rest of the time it's us 11 against those 11. 120 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,620 We're talking about practice, man! 121 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:12,253 I'm talking about practice! And you can't do it 'cause you're hurt. 122 00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:14,712 Right? 123 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,168 It's fine by me. 124 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,838 Tell you what. Do me a favor. 125 00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,222 When you get out there, 126 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:24,758 set up the cones so the other reserves can do a little passing drill. 127 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:28,180 -You want me to set up cones? -I really appreciate it. 128 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,385 -Colin, go set the cones up. -I think he asked you, mate. 129 00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:33,846 Was I talking to you, big man? 130 00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:35,896 Colin, set up the cones. 131 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,729 Isaac's right. He asked you. You are a second-teamer. 132 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:47,988 That's gotta sting. 133 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,117 Cheers. 134 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,335 I must say, it's quite nice seeing Jamie put in his place for once. 135 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,259 -Thrilling even, innit? -No, no, no. 136 00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:02,838 This is a no schadenfreude zone, all right? 137 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,973 -Nein schadenfreude. -All right. 138 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,090 The new kid, what's his-- Dani what? 139 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,347 -Rojas. -Rojas, yeah. Is he any good? 140 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,849 Came here in the summer transfer window, was immediately injured, 141 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,022 -so no one's really seen him play. -That's okay. 142 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,651 You know, 'cause once Jamie sees someone else playing his position, 143 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,938 you know... I mean, it's gonna hurt his soul. 144 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,685 I'm so sorry. I shouldn't be happy about that. 145 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:27,160 Okay, let's be sure to help Dani get acclimated, all right? 146 00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:29,489 First time in this league can be very overwhelming. 147 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,708 Dani Rojas, Rojas! Dani Rojas! 148 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:40,088 Rojas, Dani Rojas! Rojas, Rojas, Rojas! 149 00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:42,499 Hey! Hello, coaches. 150 00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:45,548 -Thank you for the opportunity. -Yeah. You are a spirited fella, Dani. 151 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,802 Just go on out there, and get the striker spot for us, okay? 152 00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:51,755 Yes! Just like back in Guadalajara, you say it, I do it, Coach. 153 00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:53,562 Football is life! 154 00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:58,938 I like him. 155 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,232 Jamie doesn't. 156 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:06,147 Chipper dickheads like that can never back it up on the pitch. 157 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,338 Beautiful cross, Sam! 158 00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:29,637 Football is life! 159 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:31,969 Oh, boy. 160 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,017 Did you see that? 161 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:42,442 I can't really tell, but it seems like he's very good. 162 00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,149 Cheers, again. 163 00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:48,614 And some unemployed gaffers are asking if we'll have an opening soon. 164 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,865 Tony Pulis. Alan Curbishley. Harry Redknapp called three times. 165 00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:56,753 Hi. I've been up all night doing deep dives on all the players. 166 00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:59,288 Did you know that Richard was raised on a goat farm? 167 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:02,213 And that Isaac's mother has two left hands? 168 00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:05,552 And I called a couple of contacts about some sponsorship opportunities. 169 00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:07,209 Even got myself a little work planner. 170 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:10,217 You couldn't get one without the word "unicorn" written on it? 171 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,470 Fuck off. It's adorable. 172 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:17,472 Sorry, I couldn't help but think how you'd react if I told you to F off. 173 00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:24,823 -That'll be all, Higgins. -Of course. 174 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,282 I'm really glad to see that you're laughing. 175 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:29,069 I just came by to see if you're okay, really. 176 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,492 Why wouldn't I be? 177 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,951 Oh, Christ. Have you not seen the news yet? 178 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:37,704 I really wanted to be the one to comfort you, not to break it to you. 179 00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,367 So, you remember that stunning girl, Bex? 180 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,745 The one that Rupert left with the night of the gala? 181 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,335 Do you really want me to pretend that she wasn't mad fit? 182 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:48,631 I'd appreciate it. 183 00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:52,054 Okay, well. That hideous cow, whose name's Bex, 184 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,144 -which is actually short for... -Rebecca. 185 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,810 Yep, which is also your name, as you know. 186 00:09:57,890 --> 00:10:00,230 So the press is calling her-- 187 00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:02,439 "New Rebecca." Shit. 188 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,103 Nope. 189 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:09,191 The press is calling her "Rebecca," and you're... 190 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,360 "Old Rebecca." 191 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,988 -What? -Old Rebecca. 192 00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:15,993 Old Rebecca? 193 00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,123 Don't worry about it. You've got this. 194 00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:23,616 And if you ever have a moment, 195 00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:26,127 or if you don't got this, then you just call me, right? 196 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:47,311 Wow! That was on purpose, yes? 197 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,017 Yeah. Look, mate. 198 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,777 You're good, yeah, but up here, 199 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,279 there's a difference between good and great. 200 00:10:58,075 --> 00:10:59,905 1-1. Your turn, amigo. 201 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:14,757 Fuck's sake. 202 00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:16,842 Right, watch this then. Left post. 203 00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,265 Wow. That was good. 204 00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:23,314 I know. 205 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:26,941 Yeah! 206 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:36,737 I got lucky. 207 00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:39,912 -Again tomorrow, Jamie Tartt? -We'll see. 208 00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:41,162 Football is life! 209 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:47,003 Dani Rojas, Rojas! Dani Rojas! 210 00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:49,922 Oh, boy. I tell you, man. 211 00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:54,342 I feel like we fell out of a lucky tree, hit every branch on the way down, 212 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:57,633 ended up in a pool full of cash and Sour Patch Kids. 213 00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,348 I mean, Jamie is an ace, right? 214 00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:03,309 You know, whose attitude turned him into a seven of clubs. 215 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:06,060 So then we bring in another fella to help turn him back into an ace 216 00:12:06,143 --> 00:12:08,103 and then that fella ends up being an ace himself. 217 00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:09,607 And so now we got two aces. 218 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:13,608 Aces. Aces. Oh, heck. I did it again. I'm stuck. 219 00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:15,072 -Aces. -That's the word, yeah? 220 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:16,702 -Aces. -Aces. 221 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,158 -Ace. -Aces? Oh, now I'm in there. 222 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,528 -See? Okay, good. -Aces? Aces. 223 00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:22,156 -I hope it's not contagious. -Aces. 224 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,622 -Aces. Aces. -Aces? Aces. 225 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:25,543 -Aces. -Aces. 226 00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:27,161 -Isis. -No, that sounds like "ISIS." 227 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,667 I did say "ISIS." I didn't mean to. 228 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:31,589 Okay, what if we cloned the lead guitarist from Kiss? 229 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,208 -You'd have two-- -Frehleys. 230 00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:46,676 It's lovely weather we've been having, don't you think? 231 00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,307 I love this time of year. 232 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,103 -All the smells of fresh leaves. -What's happening? 233 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,768 I was just pretending that the two of us were on a walk. 234 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:54,857 I'm trying to read. 235 00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,781 I've been doing a lot of reading myself, actually, recently. 236 00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:01,872 I read this mad story 237 00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,789 about a kid who grew up in a shit part of South London. 238 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:09,078 And who got sent off to play as a child in Sunderland, of all places. 239 00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:12,840 And who later was forced to rap his own verse in a charity single 240 00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:15,378 which was called "Winner, Winner, Football Dinner." 241 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,922 That was for world hunger. 242 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,632 And I believe it was the cure. 243 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,095 How do you know all this anyway? What are you doing now? Stalking me? 244 00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:27,139 No. I'm reading all the players' bios. 245 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,854 Rebecca's got me in to help with the team's PR. 246 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:32,975 Well, you leave me out of it. I'm not one of your show ponies. 247 00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:36,402 You wear a number, trot around while people clap, 248 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,530 so I wouldn't be too high and mighty about it. 249 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,111 Later, Roy. 250 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:48,202 Dani Rojas! Dani, Dani! 251 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:56,752 Okay. 252 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,587 Okay, okay, I don't understand. What the heck happened, all right? 253 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,383 -Did you trip over something? -That's the thing, Coach. 254 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,797 I did not trip over something. Something tripped me. 255 00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:07,928 Something not there. 256 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:15,479 Yeah. Okay, Doc. Let's go get him looked at. 257 00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:18,357 Okay. You're okay. 258 00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,611 God, this is all my fault. 259 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,525 I saw Dani go into the treatment room before training, 260 00:14:23,614 --> 00:14:24,874 and I didn't say anything. 261 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,282 That was a mistake. 262 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,037 How could you not say anything? 263 00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:30,619 Well, I hope you've all said your goodbyes, 264 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,714 -'cause we're never gonna see him again. -Hey, that's enough! 265 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,459 One more person says something that me and Beard don't understand, 266 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,672 I'm gonna have one of my son's classic temper tantrums. 267 00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:39,963 It's basically just him calling me a bunch of silly names, 268 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:43,627 you know, like, I don't know, "dummy head" or "poo-poo face" 269 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:46,137 or "poo-poo dummy" or-- I don't know. What am I missing? 270 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:47,930 -"Pee-pee fingers." -"Pee-pee fingers." 271 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,683 Come on, now. Spill. 272 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:55,024 The treatment room is cursed. 273 00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,863 -What? -It's true. 274 00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:59,109 Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this? 275 00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:02,111 Well, I think it has a lot to do with grown men being embarrassed 276 00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:05,284 to admit that they believe in all this hoodoo, voodoo, juju business. 277 00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:07,034 -Hey, I don't believe it. -Okay, good. 278 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,775 Then me and you, we're gonna go look in that room. 279 00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,407 -No. -Why not? 280 00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:12,164 Because... No. 281 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,288 Heck! Oh, man. 282 00:15:15,374 --> 00:15:18,174 I mean, Dani was out there, what, an hour ago? 283 00:15:18,252 --> 00:15:19,802 Running circles on that pitch 284 00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:23,298 like a joyous raven-haired golden retriever. 285 00:15:23,382 --> 00:15:26,472 Coach, is it true in America you guys have so many beautiful dogs in pounds 286 00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:28,222 that some get put down for no reason? 287 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:29,853 That is true, Sam. 288 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,770 But it's also something a lot of female singer-songwriters are trying to change. 289 00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:36,938 Look, we're not gonna put Dani Rojas down. I'll tell you that right now. 290 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:40,070 Gentlemen, I need you to gather up the rest of the fellas. 291 00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:43,861 'Cause we got ourselves a curse to reverse. 292 00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:53,123 What the fuck's wrong with you two? 293 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:55,043 The whole Richmond team's here. 294 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,036 Holy shit. 295 00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:07,801 Hey, Coach. Jamie? 296 00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,262 Okay. That's okay. 297 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:12,756 Hey, guys. 298 00:16:12,848 --> 00:16:14,518 Hey, fellas. Fellas, listen up. 299 00:16:15,434 --> 00:16:16,644 Thank you, guys, for coming out. 300 00:16:16,727 --> 00:16:19,147 Look, I don't know a lot about this stuff, you know. 301 00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:20,729 I don't know about curses. 302 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,864 But I do know this, they don't last forever. 303 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:25,241 Okay, look at the Boston Red Sox curse. That's over. 304 00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,487 Chicago Cubs, over. 305 00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:31,243 Heck, even Mr. Martin Scorsese finally won his Oscar. 306 00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:33,535 But I think we can all agree that The Departed 307 00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:34,999 is not necessarily his best work. 308 00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:36,078 -No. -Yeah. 309 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,293 -That belongs to The Color of Money. -No, it's Goodfellas. 310 00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:43,004 -Agree to disagree. -Nah, nah. It's Age of Innocence, bruv. 311 00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:45,626 -Cape Fear. -Silence! 312 00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:49,005 Oi, once the word gets out you lot are in here, 313 00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:51,392 this place will turn into a fucking zoo. 314 00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:53,636 And the answer's Mean Streets. 315 00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,642 -Yeah. That's a good one. -Yeah. 316 00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:58,314 You're all here because of this poster behind me. 317 00:16:58,393 --> 00:16:59,443 Mr. Higgins. 318 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,860 "Are you a fast, fit, fan of football?" 319 00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:04,730 That's solid alliteration right there. 320 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,226 Hundreds of those posters 321 00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:11,448 were put up around Richmond on the 18th of November, 1914. 322 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,911 It was an invitation for young men 323 00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:16,662 to try out to be a professional footballer. 324 00:17:16,743 --> 00:17:19,453 It said to come to our stadium that day. 325 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,380 And it was a lie. 326 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:26,798 In 1914, the war was raging. There was no tryout. 327 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:32,470 Just recruiters, waiting to encourage those boys to fight the fight. 328 00:17:32,553 --> 00:17:35,763 They enlisted 400 lads that day. 329 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:38,479 Very few of them came home. 330 00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:41,055 And after they enlisted... 331 00:17:41,854 --> 00:17:43,774 do you know where they went for their physical? 332 00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:46,186 Oh, Christ, it's our treatment room, isn't it? 333 00:17:46,275 --> 00:17:47,605 What are you talking about? 334 00:17:47,693 --> 00:17:51,993 Hey, no, no, no. Hey, no, fellas. No, it was not, okay? 335 00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:56,703 It was. I'm sorry, I'm lying to ya. I don't even know why I'm lying. 336 00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,905 I'm sorry. I just wanted y'all to take a breath for a second. 337 00:17:58,996 --> 00:18:01,706 Wait, wait, wait. What you're telling me is that we've got 400 ghosts? 338 00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:03,040 That's too many ghosts. 339 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:04,205 We cannot fight them all. 340 00:18:04,293 --> 00:18:06,043 We're not going to have to fight them, Richard. 341 00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:08,208 Wait, so, Coach, how do we fix this? 342 00:18:08,297 --> 00:18:11,047 -We can't change the past. -No, Sam. No, we cannot. 343 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,180 But we can choose to honor it. 344 00:18:13,844 --> 00:18:16,354 Now, those young men, they made the ultimate sacrifice. 345 00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:19,520 So I think it's only fair that we sacrifice something of our own. 346 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,350 I'm gonna ask each and every one of you to go home tonight, 347 00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:24,606 find something, an item. 348 00:18:24,688 --> 00:18:26,858 Something personal. Something that you truly value. 349 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:30,112 And I want you to bring it tonight to the clubhouse, at midnight. 350 00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:31,744 No. That is bullshit. 351 00:18:33,739 --> 00:18:35,619 We're all going to fucking do it! 352 00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,078 All right. 353 00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:40,119 That's your captain talking right there. 354 00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:45,174 Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! 355 00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:46,709 Told you. 356 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:51,303 Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! 357 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:54,261 Hi, Jamie. What do you need? 358 00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:58,557 Babe, I said it was important. We can't go inside your house? 359 00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:00,429 No way! We can't. 360 00:19:00,516 --> 00:19:02,636 Sex was, like, the only thing that you and I was good at. 361 00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:05,186 I've had three glasses of wine. It's Pavlovian. 362 00:19:05,896 --> 00:19:08,266 Pavlovian? What is that? Is that the wine? 363 00:19:09,608 --> 00:19:12,028 Babe, can we not at least just get inside my car? It's cold. 364 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,860 No. You don't remember how many times we shagged in this thing? 365 00:19:14,947 --> 00:19:17,027 So the car's also Pavlovian? 366 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:18,115 Think I'm getting it now. 367 00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:21,445 So, what's up, Jamie? 368 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,158 Fucking Ted Lasso. 369 00:19:24,248 --> 00:19:26,208 He's really gotten up your bum, hasn't he? 370 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,171 Babe, he's not even a real coach. 371 00:19:28,252 --> 00:19:29,922 Do you know what we're supposed to do tonight? 372 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:33,803 Apparently, some bullshit sacrifice, show-and-tell bullshit. 373 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:37,051 -Okay. You gonna go? -No, 'course I'm not. 374 00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:41,852 -Is everyone else doing it? -Yeah, but I'm Jamie Tartt. 375 00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:43,432 I'm not like everyone else. 376 00:19:43,517 --> 00:19:48,147 Do you think that I could've got from a council estate in North Manchester 377 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,900 to the Premier League, 378 00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:52,109 if I did what everyone else did? 379 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,192 No. I don't. 380 00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:57,203 You're a battler, Jamie. 381 00:19:58,073 --> 00:19:59,453 It's really hot. 382 00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:03,289 But maybe someday you should stop battling the people 383 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:04,830 that just wanna help you. 384 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,785 I feel like you want me to come in. 385 00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:12,248 It's Pavlovian. 386 00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:14,417 Have a good night, Jamie Tartt. 387 00:20:21,722 --> 00:20:22,762 Come in. 388 00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:27,773 Excuse me, Ms. Welton. Hi, I'm Sam. Sam Obisanya. I play for the team. 389 00:20:27,853 --> 00:20:30,363 Yes, Sam. I know who you are. 390 00:20:31,148 --> 00:20:33,528 Is there something I can help you with? 391 00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:36,899 This is really awkward, but are you free tonight? 392 00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:40,490 Sam, I am very flattered, but-- 393 00:20:40,574 --> 00:20:43,334 No, no, no. It's not for romance. 394 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:47,210 It's just to get rid of this curse. I can understand why you misinterpreted. 395 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:48,499 I mean, you're so lovely 396 00:20:48,582 --> 00:20:50,832 you must get romantic invitations all the time. 397 00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:51,918 That's nice. 398 00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:56,422 Gosh, I'm dealing with my own sort of curse. Anyway, thank you. 399 00:20:57,257 --> 00:21:00,757 I'm from Nigeria, and so I feel like whenever the subject of curses comes up, 400 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:04,354 people are like, "I bet the African guy is really into this." 401 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,681 -You're obviously not? -No, no, no. I really am. 402 00:21:06,767 --> 00:21:09,017 But that's mainly from loving Harry Potter. 403 00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:11,731 Do you know J.K. Rowling has more money than the Queen? 404 00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:12,983 I did. 405 00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:16,235 I like the idea of someone becoming rich, because of what they gave to the world. 406 00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:17,898 Not just because of who their family is. 407 00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:21,994 Well, Ms. Welton, I really hope you can participate in this ceremony 408 00:21:22,074 --> 00:21:23,494 that we're having later tonight. 409 00:21:23,575 --> 00:21:24,865 I don't think so. 410 00:21:24,952 --> 00:21:27,412 I apologize, but I can't take no for an answer. 411 00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:30,616 Coach thinks it will only work if the whole team is there, 412 00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:33,707 and Ms. Welton, it's your team. 413 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:38,170 So you have to be there. Please. 414 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,467 At least think about it. 415 00:21:42,803 --> 00:21:43,973 For you, Sam, I will. 416 00:21:44,555 --> 00:21:45,595 Thank you. 417 00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:50,813 See you tonight. 418 00:21:50,894 --> 00:21:51,904 See ya. 419 00:21:56,608 --> 00:21:58,738 Gentlemen, I am, by nature, a believer. 420 00:21:58,819 --> 00:22:01,319 Ghosts, spirit guides, aliens. 421 00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:02,775 Still, I can't actually tell you 422 00:22:02,865 --> 00:22:05,275 what lives beyond our physical world and what doesn't. 423 00:22:06,702 --> 00:22:08,082 What I can tell you, 424 00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:09,911 is that with the exception 425 00:22:09,997 --> 00:22:12,077 of the wit and wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes, 426 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:14,753 not much lasts forever. 427 00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:22,892 -Hey, boss. Glad you could join us. -Hello. Yeah. 428 00:22:27,097 --> 00:22:28,927 Roy, why don't you get things started for us? 429 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:38,033 I was nine when I got scouted by Sunderland, 430 00:22:38,734 --> 00:22:41,364 and I'd never left London before. 431 00:22:42,154 --> 00:22:47,954 My granddad drove me all the way there, and it was freezing, and I was terrified. 432 00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:51,713 I was fucking nine. Say something. 433 00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:57,037 When I got there, he gave me this old blanket. 434 00:22:57,628 --> 00:23:01,628 He said it was to keep me warm and to remind me of home. 435 00:23:02,090 --> 00:23:03,720 And that was the last time I saw him. 436 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,800 'Cause he'd passed away by the time I got back for Christmas, so... 437 00:23:09,348 --> 00:23:13,308 That is why blankie means so much to me. 438 00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:14,693 Did you just say "blankie"? 439 00:23:14,770 --> 00:23:17,520 No, I said "blanket." Conversation over. Sam, go. 440 00:23:19,066 --> 00:23:22,106 This is a picture of the 1994 Nigerian World Cup team. 441 00:23:23,237 --> 00:23:26,237 I pledged I wouldn't take this down until I made the team myself... 442 00:23:27,282 --> 00:23:28,702 and I still intend to do that. 443 00:23:31,745 --> 00:23:34,995 This sand is from a beach in St. Barts. 444 00:23:37,292 --> 00:23:39,712 This is the first beach where I ever... 445 00:23:41,255 --> 00:23:43,915 It's the first beach where I ever slept with a supermodel. 446 00:23:49,388 --> 00:23:51,638 -Smile because it happened. -Thanks. 447 00:23:51,723 --> 00:23:54,313 Sam and Richard coming at ya from both ends of the spectrum there. 448 00:23:54,393 --> 00:23:55,393 Appreciate that. 449 00:23:55,769 --> 00:24:00,939 A girl once said I look like Clive Owen in these sunglasses. 450 00:24:02,901 --> 00:24:04,241 I don't think I can do it. 451 00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:06,699 -Come on, Nate. Throw 'em in. -You got it, Nate. Give it a toss. 452 00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:08,280 -Nice. -Good boy, Nate. 453 00:24:08,949 --> 00:24:09,989 Thank you. Thank you. 454 00:24:15,038 --> 00:24:16,918 Is that today's paper? 455 00:24:16,999 --> 00:24:20,669 There's something in there about me, as usual, and I'm trying not to care. 456 00:24:22,671 --> 00:24:23,881 Fuck the haters. 457 00:24:26,466 --> 00:24:27,466 Word. 458 00:24:27,551 --> 00:24:31,971 This is my cat's collar. She was a faithful companion for 20 years. 459 00:24:33,932 --> 00:24:35,772 Gonna miss you, Cindy Clawford. 460 00:24:37,311 --> 00:24:39,231 It's the only pen I can write my name with. 461 00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:01,038 The keys to my Lamborghini. 462 00:25:03,045 --> 00:25:04,125 How you getting home? 463 00:25:05,339 --> 00:25:07,589 -All right. Everybody go? -Yeah. 464 00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:10,344 -Yeah. -No. I wanna go. 465 00:25:19,895 --> 00:25:23,145 These aren't my first boots or anything. My mum gave 'em me. 466 00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:27,400 She was the one who got me into football in the first place. 467 00:25:28,529 --> 00:25:32,319 Her and me dad split up when I was just a sexy little baby. 468 00:25:33,033 --> 00:25:36,333 She's the reason I work so hard. Just wanted to make her proud. 469 00:25:37,496 --> 00:25:39,406 She doesn't even care if I'm any good. 470 00:25:39,498 --> 00:25:42,078 Just wants me to be happy. Be a good lad. 471 00:25:43,544 --> 00:25:47,514 Once I got good though, me old man started showing up, didn't he? 472 00:25:47,589 --> 00:25:50,259 You know, bragging to all his mates every time I scored a goal. 473 00:25:50,342 --> 00:25:56,142 Calling me "soft" if I didn't... dominate, you know. 474 00:25:56,223 --> 00:25:57,773 And I hated that. 475 00:25:59,268 --> 00:26:01,268 I actually fucking hated that. 476 00:26:03,522 --> 00:26:09,362 So, I made a vow to be so tough that he could never call me "soft" again. 477 00:26:12,531 --> 00:26:14,581 I wonder if sometimes... 478 00:26:15,450 --> 00:26:17,200 I forget about making her proud. 479 00:26:20,163 --> 00:26:21,963 I don't think that she would be lately. 480 00:26:34,928 --> 00:26:36,178 Well, gentlemen... 481 00:26:39,099 --> 00:26:40,929 What do you say we burn this crap? 482 00:26:41,018 --> 00:26:42,938 Maybe we should do this part outside. 483 00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:44,190 -Yeah. -That's a good call. 484 00:26:44,271 --> 00:26:45,271 Yeah. That's smart. Okay. 485 00:26:45,355 --> 00:26:47,225 Hey, would you guys mind grabbing this for me? 486 00:26:54,698 --> 00:26:57,328 Excuse me, Ted. The eagle has landed. 487 00:26:59,369 --> 00:27:00,539 Hey, fellas. 488 00:27:00,621 --> 00:27:04,081 I think the only way to know if the curse has been lifted or not, 489 00:27:04,166 --> 00:27:06,706 we need to ask the spirits for a sign. 490 00:27:08,504 --> 00:27:09,714 Spirits... 491 00:27:11,256 --> 00:27:12,926 speak to us. 492 00:27:16,261 --> 00:27:20,181 Dani Rojas! Rojas! Dani Rojas. 493 00:27:23,894 --> 00:27:26,564 I brought a bottle of mezcal to throw into the curse fire. 494 00:27:26,647 --> 00:27:28,567 Hey, hey, hey. Rojas, look. 495 00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:30,979 Whatever ghosts it were that made you trip over, 496 00:27:31,068 --> 00:27:32,898 they're gone now, I promise, yeah. 497 00:27:32,986 --> 00:27:34,316 Crack that bastard open. 498 00:27:34,404 --> 00:27:36,454 -Yeah, boy! -Yeah. 499 00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:40,372 Jamie's not wrong. Ghosts prefer empty bottles that we've all drunk. 500 00:27:40,452 --> 00:27:41,792 Fact. 501 00:27:41,870 --> 00:27:44,040 Let us celebrate, amigos. 502 00:27:46,667 --> 00:27:48,497 That is a team united. 503 00:27:49,878 --> 00:27:52,508 You're very lucky that everything's fine with Dani's injury. 504 00:27:52,589 --> 00:27:55,049 I just never had you pegged as a gambler, Ted. 505 00:27:55,133 --> 00:27:58,683 I'm not. We knew Dani's okay hours ago. 506 00:27:59,304 --> 00:28:01,314 In fact, it was my man Higgins' idea 507 00:28:01,390 --> 00:28:04,430 not to share that info with the boys until after the ceremony. 508 00:28:05,686 --> 00:28:07,556 -You don't say. -Yeah. 509 00:28:08,063 --> 00:28:09,653 Putting the team first, eh, Higgins? 510 00:28:10,524 --> 00:28:11,574 Yeah, I suppose I am. 511 00:28:11,650 --> 00:28:13,690 Hey, Coach, you joining the party or what? 512 00:28:14,987 --> 00:28:17,697 What do you say, boss? A lot warmer over there by the fire. 513 00:28:19,533 --> 00:28:20,873 I'll respectfully pass. 514 00:28:22,452 --> 00:28:24,452 Higgins, coming with me? 515 00:28:26,415 --> 00:28:27,665 Off you go. 516 00:28:31,128 --> 00:28:33,048 All right now, what's this going on? 517 00:28:33,130 --> 00:28:35,010 What's going on here? What's going on? 518 00:28:35,090 --> 00:28:36,880 Richmond till we die. 519 00:28:36,967 --> 00:28:38,757 We're Richmond till we die. 520 00:28:38,844 --> 00:28:42,314 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 521 00:28:42,389 --> 00:28:45,559 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 522 00:28:45,642 --> 00:28:48,812 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 523 00:28:48,896 --> 00:28:52,066 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 524 00:28:52,149 --> 00:28:55,529 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 525 00:28:55,611 --> 00:28:58,661 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 526 00:28:58,739 --> 00:29:01,989 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 527 00:29:02,075 --> 00:29:05,655 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 528 00:29:05,746 --> 00:29:08,666 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 529 00:29:09,708 --> 00:29:10,828 Morning. How y'all doin'? 530 00:29:16,089 --> 00:29:17,339 Hey. That's cool. 531 00:29:19,927 --> 00:29:21,257 Oh, boy. Here we go. 532 00:29:24,139 --> 00:29:25,599 I got it. 533 00:29:26,767 --> 00:29:29,267 Interception. Easy, gentlemen, easy. 534 00:29:30,687 --> 00:29:32,267 Good morning, honey bunch. 535 00:29:32,356 --> 00:29:34,936 You hear that buzz out there? I love it. 536 00:29:35,025 --> 00:29:36,105 How you doing? 537 00:29:38,654 --> 00:29:39,994 You got rid of Jamie? 538 00:29:40,614 --> 00:29:42,454 Man City recalled him. 539 00:29:42,533 --> 00:29:44,493 I told you, Ted. They were concerned he wasn't playing. 540 00:29:44,576 --> 00:29:46,156 I finally got through to him! 541 00:29:46,245 --> 00:29:48,245 I mean, you saw it. 542 00:29:48,330 --> 00:29:51,880 With him and Dani, we had two aces, Rebecca. 543 00:29:51,959 --> 00:29:54,799 -I thought that was what you wanted. -Yeah, well, you thought wrong! 544 00:29:55,587 --> 00:29:57,877 I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my tone there, okay. That was rude. 545 00:29:57,965 --> 00:30:02,635 Look, I'm trying to be cool about this, but I am just seeing red everywhere. 546 00:30:02,719 --> 00:30:05,599 Well, perhaps you should leave before you say something you'll regret. 547 00:30:07,349 --> 00:30:09,599 No, actually, you know what? Here you go. 548 00:30:10,185 --> 00:30:11,185 Your biscuits. 549 00:30:11,270 --> 00:30:13,150 I hope they're not as good as they usually are. 550 00:30:13,230 --> 00:30:16,900 But dang it, they're the best batch yet. I finally cracked the recipe! 551 00:30:24,950 --> 00:30:26,030 Coach? 552 00:30:30,289 --> 00:30:31,789 Football is life.