1
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:29,028
Fucking hell.
2
00:00:29,862 --> 00:00:31,132
All right, let's go.
3
00:00:31,155 --> 00:00:32,548
It's 4:00 a.m.
4
00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:34,676
Yeah. We start at 4:00 a.m.
5
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:35,887
I thought you were joking.
6
00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:37,137
How is that a joke?
7
00:00:37,161 --> 00:00:38,579
'Cause it's 4:00 a.m.
8
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,226
We start at 4:00, so you can do
three workouts a day instead of two.
9
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:46,295
Okay, but it's 4:00 a.m.
10
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,590
Do you wanna be
better than Zava or not?
11
00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:52,719
Well, how are we
gonna see? It's dark out.
12
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,430
Fucking hell.
13
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:59,560
Now get dressed. Or I
start flicking your balls.
14
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,853
This is perverse.
15
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:35,721
Whoops.
16
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:52,528
There you go.
17
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,668
Good morning, Sassy Smurf.
18
00:02:09,294 --> 00:02:11,900
Good morning, Marlboro Man.
19
00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:14,193
You know, you snored all night.
20
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,570
Hmm. I'm sorry about that.
21
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,740
That's all right. It's
actually very soothing.
22
00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,033
Sounded like the sea.
23
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,743
Well, I'm glad you didn't
hear any boat horns,
24
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:25,603
given all the fried
yams I ate last night.
25
00:02:28,105 --> 00:02:29,106
Oh.
26
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:34,421
Hey, I was thinking. We have
a good time together, yeah?
27
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:37,156
They're called simultaneous
orgasms, Ted, yes.
28
00:02:37,865 --> 00:02:39,718
Yeah, well, but I mean
29
00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:43,223
also all the talking and
laughing and all that stuff. Yeah?
30
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:46,500
Sure. Well, apart from
all your dreadful puns.
31
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,728
Right. Well, it's tough.
32
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:51,796
Sometimes I just see 'em there, and I
gotta take a swing at 'em, you know?
33
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,968
No, I... Well, what
I'm getting at is, um...
34
00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:01,141
- Well, I was just thinking maybe...
- Well, I was just thinking maybe...
35
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,307
we could go on an
actual date sometime.
36
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:06,562
You know? You and me, together.
37
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:08,813
God, no.
38
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:12,418
Well, I appreciate you
taking the time to consider it.
39
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,711
Ted, we can't date.
40
00:03:14,735 --> 00:03:15,736
Why not?
41
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,074
- You're a mess.
- I'm a mess?
42
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:20,676
Course you are.
43
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:24,138
I'm a mess too, but I'm a mess
three years further on than you,
44
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,557
so I'm more of
a slight disarray.
45
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,768
More like a slight disarray
of sunshine, if you ask me.
46
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,186
Oh, God.
47
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,814
- Sorry.
- Ted, on the day my ex got remarried,
48
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:36,675
I drank a bottle of red
wine through a straw
49
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,862
and told my Uber driver
I was in love with him.
50
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:43,658
Then, when he dropped
me home, I puked so much,
51
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:46,768
my mouth was like an elevator
from the goddamn Shining.
52
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,622
Knocked my rating down to a 3.9.
53
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,355
3.9? Ooh.
54
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,151
Fuck you. Why? What's yours?
55
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:58,197
Oh, God, you're
a five, aren't you?
56
00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,721
- Course you're a five.
How the fuck are you a five?
57
00:04:01,745 --> 00:04:04,679
I don't know. I'm tidy. I say
"Please" and "Thank you."
58
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,788
Sometimes I offer to
drive if they look tired.
59
00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:10,417
Oh, you are such a mess.
60
00:04:13,669 --> 00:04:16,379
Ted, I like our status.
61
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:21,987
Friends with benefits, like Natalie
Portman and Ashton Kutcher.
62
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:25,199
Oh, no, no, no. I think
you're thinking of 2011's other
63
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,391
good-friends-turned-casual-lovers
based rom-com.
64
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:30,937
No Strings Attached.
65
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,625
Friends with Benefits was Mila
Kunis and Justin Timberlake.
66
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:38,213
Oh, wow. 2011,
friends be fuckin'.
67
00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:39,338
Mm-hmm, yeah.
68
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,449
So, let's keep things
2011. Cool and breezy.
69
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,409
- Like an Arab Spring.
- Mmm.
70
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:51,100
And good luck against
West Ham this weekend.
71
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,726
- Mmm.
- Fuck Rupert
72
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:56,045
and that shriveled
raisin-pouch he calls a nutsack.
73
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,122
Hello! Here for Flo?
74
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,939
- You can jump in, love.
- Lovely, thank you.
75
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,795
Ooh, this is nice. Gray
seats? Yes, please.
76
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,838
West Ham. This is
the real opportunity
77
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,548
for the Wonder Kid to
become the Wonder Man...
78
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,074
101.
79
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,386
100.
80
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,995
Ninety-nine.
81
00:05:33,457 --> 00:05:35,127
Why do you only
sleep with a top on?
82
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:39,005
Because I get cold
upstairs and hot downstairs.
83
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,132
Hmm. I get that.
84
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,721
Mornin'.
85
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:10,096
Oh, listen to what
Rupert said in this one.
86
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:14,016
"I truly look forward to
seeing my old club again.
87
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,310
Richmond are top-class."
88
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,855
Ugh, what a soggy,
wet piece of shit.
89
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,213
- Thank you.
- Mmm.
90
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:24,800
Right, I'm off to the training ground.
Thanks again for the opportunity.
91
00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:27,822
Babe, you earned it.
92
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:31,033
Shandy came up with
this super fun Bantr promo.
93
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,161
It uses all the single
players on the team.
94
00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,411
Yeah.
95
00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:38,524
The anonymous man you're Bantr-ing
with could be a professional footballer.
96
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,793
- Mmm?
- Oh, that's great.
97
00:06:41,817 --> 00:06:44,588
And that's all the
single players, you say?
98
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:48,675
So, it's, like, Colin and
Dani and Sam, et cetera?
99
00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:50,952
Yeah, although I don't
think Sam's doing it anymore.
100
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,372
- No.
- Mmm. So fun.
101
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:58,144
- Um, Ms. Jones.
- Hello, Barbara.
102
00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:58,228
- All right there, Barbs?
- It's "Barbara."
103
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,103
- All right there, Barbs?
- It's "Barbara."
104
00:07:00,127 --> 00:07:04,901
Um, if possible, could I get two tickets
for the Richmond-West Ham match?
105
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,028
Jack might be coming
to London this weekend.
106
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,302
Of course.
107
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:10,764
Who's Jack?
108
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,475
- Jack Danvers.
- Mmm?
109
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:18,105
The head of the VC that
funded your company.
110
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,690
Our boss.
111
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:27,029
Yes. That Jack. Of course.
112
00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,908
- Uh...
- That's not a problem, Barbara.
113
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,678
I can let you have
some seats in my suite.
114
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:35,473
Oh. Lovely.
115
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,750
Thank you so much, Rebecca.
That's so kind of you and so efficient.
116
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,254
Keeley.
117
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,925
Thanks, Barbara.
118
00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:52,906
So, the one thing we cannot do
against West Ham is the False Nine.
119
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,867
- 'Cause that's Nate's shit.
- Exactly.
120
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:57,245
So, we decided to go
with our classic 4-4-2.
121
00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,497
Which is exactly what
that prick expects us to do.
122
00:07:59,521 --> 00:07:59,581
So, we do the opposite.
Five up front. Full-on attack.
123
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:02,375
So, we do the opposite.
Five up front. Full-on attack.
124
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:05,920
But Nate knows
we're gonna do that,
125
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:09,990
because Nate knows that we're trying
to outthink him by thinking like him.
126
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,762
Well, fuck Nate, fuck thinking
and fuck fucking Socrates.
127
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,098
So, we gotta stop thinking
like Nate and start thinking
128
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,893
like Nate would think we would
think if Nate were thinking like us,
129
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,060
and then do the last thing
that Nate thinking like us
130
00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:25,172
thinking like Nate thinking like
us would ever expect us to do.
131
00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:30,653
Have Zava drop back
and play Nate's False Nine.
132
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:31,970
Voi-fucking-là.
133
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,197
Brilliant.
134
00:08:34,221 --> 00:08:36,451
- Ah, it's mostly Beard's idea.
- Nah, it was a group effort.
135
00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:37,576
I do have one question.
136
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,976
- Of course.
- Who fucking cares?
137
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,812
Do you think Zava'll do it?
138
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:49,863
Fuck!
139
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,134
- Good mornin'.
- Hey.
140
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,010
Oh. Oh.
141
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,846
- Uh-oh, what's wrong?
- Roy doesn't think we can beat Nate.
142
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:57,931
- Higgins doesn't think so either!
- Beard said it to me first.
143
00:08:57,955 --> 00:09:01,643
- Higgins doesn't think so either!
- Beard said it to me first.
144
00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:04,770
- You throw me under the bus? How dare...
- You walked in here this morning...
145
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:08,232
- Oh, you're gonna sell me out?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
146
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:11,068
Y'all pointin' more fingers
than Ganesha givin' directions.
147
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:14,596
Now look, you fellas need
to calm down and just kiss.
148
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,225
He's right.
149
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:21,663
Keep it simple, smartypants.
150
00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:24,313
An answer will
show up. Don't worry.
151
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:29,403
But until it does, here's a
question for y'all: Am I a mess?
152
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:34,424
Sassy ended up spending
the night last night and, uh...
153
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:36,802
- Ooh.
- No, no, no, hush your butts.
154
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,263
That ain't the headline.
155
00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:40,431
Well, I asked her out on
a proper date this morning.
156
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:44,644
She turned me down cold. She
said I was... And I quote... "a mess."
157
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:47,980
- Ooh.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
158
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:51,359
Sounds like a case
for the Diamond Dogs!
159
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:52,818
Release the hounds.
160
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,052
Yeah, here we go! Let's do it.
161
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,870
- Fuck's sakes.
- Fuck's sakes.
162
00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:06,898
Yes.
163
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,626
- "Yes" what?
- Yes, you're a mess.
164
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:11,461
Okay. Expound.
165
00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:12,672
We're playing Nate this week,
166
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,375
and you're acting
like it's not a big deal.
167
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,842
Nothing's different.
He didn't hurt you.
168
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,802
Hey, look, we ain't talking
about Nate right now.
169
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:21,889
I'm asking you if you
think I'm a mess. All right?
170
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,057
Higgy pie, what do you think?
171
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:26,918
I think I don't understand how
you're not pissed off with Nate.
172
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:30,690
We have a saying in
Co-Dependents Anonymous.
173
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:31,691
Y... What?
174
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,359
Uh, Jane makes me go with her.
175
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,735
- Oh.
- Oh, yeah.
176
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,863
Pain is like carbon monoxide.
177
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:40,866
Expressing it to the person who
hurt you is like opening a vent,
178
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,161
but holding it in
will poison you.
179
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:46,748
I like that. But
Nate didn't hurt me.
180
00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:47,940
Bullshit!
181
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:52,044
Oh, Roy, did you wanna get in
on this Diamond Dog situation?
182
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,713
- Hey, Roy! Hey, Roy.
- Hey, Roy. Here, Roy.
183
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,883
Here, Roy. Come here, Roy.
184
00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:58,927
La, la, la, la, la!
185
00:10:58,951 --> 00:10:59,009
So, the match of the week is
clearly Richmond and West Ham.
186
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:02,971
So, the match of the week is
clearly Richmond and West Ham.
187
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:05,767
Now, it's been a strong start to
the season for both of these teams,
188
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:08,977
but I think the Hammers are
favorites, going into the London derby,
189
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:12,505
based on the tactical acumen of
the Wonder Kid, Nathan Shelley.
190
00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:17,236
Yeah, Shelley is brilliant,
there's no doubt about that,
191
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:20,865
but Zava, he is a genius. I
like the Greyhounds for this one.
192
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,241
That's my guy!
193
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,225
No, you can't have
him. He's mine.
194
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:29,039
- Let's move on, shall we, to Sunday's...
- Hey, look. Guys, guys.
195
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,231
Who cares, right?
196
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,293
Now come on, we've
got work to do. Let's go.
197
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,320
He is correct.
198
00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:42,619
We must ignore these talking
faces. Even when they are in our favor.
199
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,639
Thank you, "Zorro."
200
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:48,250
Oh, exactly, but it's, uh... It's
actually pronounced, uh, "Zoreaux."
201
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:52,796
Why?
202
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,466
I don't know. Because that's
how my parents say it, I guess?
203
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,573
My friend, you can be
whoever you want to be.
204
00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:04,057
My friend, you can be
whoever you want to be.
205
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:09,687
I let all of my children name themselves
once they reach the age of seven.
206
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,984
That is why my eldest is
called "Smingus Dingus."
207
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:15,962
Mmm.
208
00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:19,322
Dream big, and you
may never wake up.
209
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,971
Thank you.
210
00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:26,389
Jesus.
211
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:30,601
I can't believe I'm about to say
this, but hey, lads, I agree with Zava.
212
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:33,730
Yes, it's a big fucking game, but
we've just gotta focus, do what we do,
213
00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,440
- do you know what I mean?
- Yeah. He's right.
214
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:36,673
And don't forget, yeah?
215
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,947
- Believe in "Believe."
- Yes.
216
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,932
- Whoa!
- Whoa! What the...
217
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:47,744
What?
218
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,894
- Oh, shit.
- What?
219
00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:52,438
Oh.
220
00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,586
- Why the fuck did you do that?
- I was just checking
221
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,571
if I acquired the ability
to chop things in half.
222
00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:01,111
Yeah, and what if you had?
223
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,743
Sorry, bruv. I didn't
think it through.
224
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:09,849
Fellas. Someone
ripped this in half.
225
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,416
What the fuck? What?
226
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,269
What the fuck?
227
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,379
You're joking.
228
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:19,383
What the fuck?
229
00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:43,948
Oh, hello...
230
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:45,993
Jade.
231
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:49,538
Nathan.
232
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:52,540
Shelley.
233
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:55,979
Lovely to see you again.
234
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,296
Okay.
235
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:01,392
- Sorry I've not been around much.
- Sorry I've not been around much.
236
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:02,652
You haven't?
237
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:06,697
No. No, I've been, uh, really
busy with, uh... with my new job.
238
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:11,475
Big, big new job just
keeping me... very busy.
239
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:15,105
Sounds silly. Maybe you
should quit your big new busy job.
240
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,668
Anyway, uh, just here
to pick up my takeaway.
241
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,921
I bought lunch
for my whole staff.
242
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:24,072
Apart from the trainers,
'cause they eat like cows.
243
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:28,135
Sorry, that sounds, um... No, they're
love... I mean, they're lovely people.
244
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:29,952
They're just vegetarians.
245
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,750
No way.
246
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:41,441
Look who's here. No fucking way!
247
00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:42,649
Do you know who this is?
248
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:43,817
Mmm. Jason Jelly.
249
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,861
- That's right.
- No, "Nathan Shelley."
250
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,864
- Mmm.
- That's right, Nathan Shelley,
251
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,866
manager of West Ham
United, in my restaurant!
252
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,745
- Big week, my guy.
- Yep.
253
00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:57,789
Big fucking week. I'm
Derek. I'm the manager here.
254
00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:57,874
Anything you need, you got it.
255
00:14:57,898 --> 00:15:00,359
Anything you need, you got it.
256
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:03,962
- Okay.
- From one manager to another.
257
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,840
Yeah, well, it's not...
Not quite the same, but...
258
00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:08,467
Facing your team this week.
259
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:11,261
- That's gotta be hard-core, right?
- Mmm.
260
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,806
I mean, you talked a lot of
shit about them in the press.
261
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:17,769
- Didn't ya? I loved it.
- Sorry, can I, um... can I pay?
262
00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:24,567
No. No. No, no, no, no. This is
on me, okay? On me. Understand?
263
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,611
This man's money
is no good here.
264
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:31,157
Never charge. Except for
booze. Gotta charge for booze.
265
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:32,866
I didn't order any
booze. It's 12:30.
266
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:36,078
Knock 'em dead.
267
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:40,250
- Mmm.
- Go Hammers!
268
00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:41,334
No way.
269
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:45,070
Oi, oi, oi. Do you
know who this is?
270
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:50,783
All right, okay. Bye.
271
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:06,567
And cut!
272
00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:08,528
Lovely, Colin. Thank you.
273
00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:11,346
All right. Okay,
Dani, you're up.
274
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:13,826
I'm very nervous.
275
00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:15,701
Oh, no, no. Don't be
nervous. Look, just sit here.
276
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:16,827
- Mm-hmm.
- Look into the camera
277
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,830
and pretend you're
talking to an old friend.
278
00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:20,164
My oldest friend is Javiar.
279
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:22,667
Great. How long have
you known Javiar?
280
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:26,278
Only a couple of months, but
he turns 108 years old next week.
281
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,615
- Perfect.
- Yeah.
282
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:31,825
Final checks.
283
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:34,702
Thank you.
284
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,099
- Hello, Keeley.
- Hi.
285
00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:41,894
Yeah. Just scoot
to your left a little bit.
286
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:45,172
Yeah, that's it. Okay,
off you go, Dani.
287
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:49,759
You may not know who I am, but I
think the most beautiful parts of a woman
288
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,778
are her flaws.
289
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:55,783
- Hmm.
- And cut! Thank you, Dani. Next!
290
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:56,892
Okay.
291
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,664
- Brought you coffee.
- Yeah.
292
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,875
- How's it going?
- Oh, my God. This is great.
293
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,210
- Yeah?
- They're great.
294
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:08,505
I just... I love being the boss.
295
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,589
- Cheers to that. Yeah.
- Cheers to that.
296
00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:11,965
Uh, you ready, Zoreaux?
297
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:14,660
Oh, uh, yeah, but I actually
go by "Van Damme" now.
298
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,703
Okay, great. Action, Van Damme.
299
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,641
You don't know who I am,
300
00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:23,353
but I'm looking for someone
who likes short walks on the beach,
301
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,963
so we can spend
more time, you know...
302
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,695
And cut.
303
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,515
Great, thanks, Van Damme. Next!
304
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:39,993
- Van Damme?
- Yeah. It's my new name.
305
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:42,229
Oh, cool. Why?
306
00:17:42,813 --> 00:17:44,082
Because I love
Jean-Claude Van Damme,
307
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,148
and Zava told me I should
be whoever I wanna be.
308
00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:49,586
- Okay, yeah. Cool.
- All right, Van Damme.
309
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,320
- All right, boys.
- Take it easy.
310
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:55,093
He's so fucking hot.
311
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,469
What's his story?
312
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,953
Jamie? Oh, he's so cocky.
313
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,374
But I guess you have
to be at this level.
314
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,750
But he only thinks
about himself.
315
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,480
At least, he used to.
316
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:11,025
Joking. No.
317
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:14,469
But he's not accountable for his
actions and what they do to others.
318
00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:19,391
Except he is getting
better at making apologies.
319
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,686
Still, he only
thinks with his dick.
320
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:29,108
And yet, I don't think
he's seen anyone in ages.
321
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:33,654
I just wanna know if
I can bang him, babe.
322
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:39,036
Oh. I don't know.
323
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,556
You should probably
ask him, it's his dick.
324
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,915
Cool. Off you go, Jamie.
325
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,817
Oh, what are y'all
still doing here?
326
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,819
Coach, you're gonna
wanna watch this.
327
00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,113
Ooh, is it one of them videos
328
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,281
of a military parent coming
home after a long tour?
329
00:18:59,306 --> 00:18:59,365
'Cause if so, I'm gonna be
eating tears and snot for dinner.
330
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,576
'Cause if so, I'm gonna be
eating tears and snot for dinner.
331
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:03,309
- Not quite.
- Hmm.
332
00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:46,894
Here we go.
333
00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,713
Where'd this come from?
334
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:59,342
This fucking legend thought
to pull the security footage
335
00:19:59,365 --> 00:19:59,424
when we told him about the sign.
336
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,844
When we told him about the sign.
337
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,636
I guess you can take
the boy out of journalism
338
00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:04,305
but you can't take
journalism out of the boy.
339
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,348
Right, you fucking
ruined it now. The point is,
340
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,875
the answer we were
looking for has arrived.
341
00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:10,603
What are you talking about?
342
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:14,047
A video like this could
motivate a team, perhaps.
343
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:15,715
Mm-hmm.
344
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:19,010
Thank you for your help, Trent.
345
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,805
May a young Robert Redford
portray you in a film someday.
346
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,575
- Probably Dustin Hoffman.
- Mm-hmm.
347
00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:24,849
- Good night.
- Good night.
348
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,269
Go home, guys. Get some sleep.
349
00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:30,789
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
350
00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:32,541
- Good night, Ted. Night, Beard.
- Good night.
351
00:20:32,566 --> 00:20:33,650
Night, Coach.
352
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,844
- Uh, Coach.
- Mmm.
353
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:46,013
I was thinking about
your Sassy situation.
354
00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:47,163
Oh, yeah.
355
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,099
Jane's sister is in town.
356
00:20:49,124 --> 00:20:51,210
- No, thank you, Coach.
- That's the right answer.
357
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:13,105
Burning the midnight oil, I see.
358
00:21:14,191 --> 00:21:17,361
Uh, yeah. Sorry for the smell.
359
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,464
The oil burning.
360
00:21:20,489 --> 00:21:22,509
Oh.
361
00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:25,451
So, you're feeling confident
about this weekend?
362
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,704
Yeah. Yeah, no,
I think so. Um...
363
00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:33,210
Yeah, no. Go... Yeah.
We're gonna destroy, right?
364
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,188
Good.
365
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,422
No, it's j...
Um... It's just, I...
366
00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:41,884
I just haven't seen
Ted since I left and, uh...
367
00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:46,013
We didn't leave on
the best of terms and...
368
00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:49,993
I feel like I owe him an
apology or something.
369
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:52,311
You did what was best for you.
370
00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:54,289
What were you meant to do?
371
00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:57,000
Hang around, supporting
Ted for the rest of your life?
372
00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:58,609
I don't think so.
373
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:07,911
You've done nothing
wrong, Nathan, I promise you.
374
00:22:09,872 --> 00:22:11,539
You earned this job.
375
00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:16,520
Well, so what do I
say when I see him?
376
00:22:16,545 --> 00:22:19,756
You say nothing,
apart from "hello."
377
00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:23,509
You look him in the
eye. You shake his hand.
378
00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:26,762
And then you beat him.
379
00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:30,826
And then we go and celebrate.
380
00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:33,186
Okay.
381
00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:34,854
Good night, Nathan.
382
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:40,986
Good night, Rupert. Thank you.
383
00:22:42,445 --> 00:22:43,572
Mr. Mannion.
384
00:23:33,704 --> 00:23:34,705
Hey.
385
00:23:35,374 --> 00:23:37,018
Working late? Or hardly working?
386
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:39,269
Well, I don't think
that's how the joke goes.
387
00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:40,503
What joke?
388
00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:42,798
Never mind. What's up?
389
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:47,635
I really want to win this one.
390
00:23:48,929 --> 00:23:50,012
I know.
391
00:23:57,354 --> 00:23:58,521
Everything okay?
392
00:24:04,987 --> 00:24:06,213
Am I a mess?
393
00:24:06,238 --> 00:24:07,917
Of course you are.
That's why we get along.
394
00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:16,373
And I wish I could tell you to
ignore Sass, but she's usually right.
395
00:24:17,124 --> 00:24:20,919
So, Sassy already told you
about the... Of course. Girl talk.
396
00:24:21,586 --> 00:24:22,564
Girl talk.
397
00:24:22,587 --> 00:24:25,650
Mm-hmm. Hmm.
398
00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:28,218
So, is everything all right?
399
00:24:30,011 --> 00:24:30,989
Yeah, I'm good.
400
00:24:31,012 --> 00:24:32,138
Oklahoma?
401
00:24:40,314 --> 00:24:41,981
I'm a work in "progmess."
402
00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:49,072
Good night, Ted.
403
00:24:53,117 --> 00:24:54,327
You already won, you know?
404
00:24:56,913 --> 00:24:58,457
You got that turkey
out of your life.
405
00:25:02,877 --> 00:25:03,878
Beat them.
406
00:25:07,215 --> 00:25:08,299
Good night, boss.
407
00:25:45,295 --> 00:25:47,297
Oh!
408
00:25:54,930 --> 00:25:56,865
Oi, do I look all right?
409
00:25:56,890 --> 00:25:58,576
Of course you do. Why?
410
00:25:58,599 --> 00:25:58,660
Well, if Jack actually shows up,
411
00:25:58,683 --> 00:25:59,993
Well, if Jack actually shows up,
412
00:26:00,018 --> 00:26:03,248
I want him to think that I
look mysterious and powerful.
413
00:26:03,271 --> 00:26:04,665
Dynamic, you know?
414
00:26:04,690 --> 00:26:09,569
- All of that.
- You are mysterious, powerful and dynamic.
415
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,156
Ooh. Shit, I'm nervous.
416
00:26:15,826 --> 00:26:17,827
I think I need to go
and reapply my lip liner.
417
00:26:19,954 --> 00:26:21,789
- I'll see you upstairs in the suite.
- Yep.
418
00:26:25,294 --> 00:26:27,020
Hey, Rebecca!
419
00:26:27,045 --> 00:26:29,589
- Rupert.
- Wonderful to see you.
420
00:26:30,382 --> 00:26:33,218
- Bex. Love the new hair.
- Hi.
421
00:26:33,801 --> 00:26:34,988
I haven't changed my hair.
422
00:26:35,011 --> 00:26:37,138
Nor should you. It's perfection.
423
00:26:38,557 --> 00:26:40,117
So, how's the little one?
424
00:26:40,142 --> 00:26:44,247
Oh, yeah, Diane. She's already
walking. Can you believe that?
425
00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:47,166
Yeah. Drooling and
pooing around the house.
426
00:26:47,191 --> 00:26:48,901
Takes after her father.
427
00:26:49,776 --> 00:26:54,089
Well. Hey, take it
easy on us today.
428
00:26:54,114 --> 00:26:56,365
Aah. No promises.
429
00:27:08,252 --> 00:27:12,132
Oh, shit.
430
00:27:21,391 --> 00:27:22,451
Excuse me.
431
00:27:22,476 --> 00:27:24,978
I've got a bit of
a situation here.
432
00:27:28,648 --> 00:27:31,817
Oh, thank you. But
it's actually not that.
433
00:27:34,529 --> 00:27:36,508
You're a lifesaver!
434
00:27:36,531 --> 00:27:39,259
Usually I'm like clockwork,
435
00:27:39,284 --> 00:27:42,037
but because I've been so
stressed, I've come on early.
436
00:27:43,454 --> 00:27:46,351
Oh, I'm so happy that it's
a super and not a skinny.
437
00:27:46,375 --> 00:27:48,102
Who are those even for?
438
00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:52,256
It's not like my vagina is on a
diet, I'm on my fucking period.
439
00:27:53,257 --> 00:27:54,858
Oi, thanks for helping me.
440
00:27:54,883 --> 00:27:56,361
And I love your shoes!
441
00:27:56,384 --> 00:27:58,028
Ah, yeah. Thanks.
442
00:27:58,052 --> 00:27:59,385
- Pay it forward.
- Yeah.
443
00:27:59,410 --> 00:28:00,681
- Pay it forward.
- Yeah.
444
00:28:05,894 --> 00:28:08,288
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Sorry.
445
00:28:08,313 --> 00:28:09,397
Excuse me.
446
00:28:11,775 --> 00:28:12,776
Hi.
447
00:28:14,778 --> 00:28:16,506
Boy, you're tall.
448
00:28:16,529 --> 00:28:19,008
Is your dad a tree or something?
449
00:28:19,031 --> 00:28:21,510
No, I'm screwing around.
450
00:28:21,535 --> 00:28:23,762
Hey, speaking of trees, who
are y'all rooting for today?
451
00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:24,913
West Ham.
452
00:28:25,413 --> 00:28:28,000
Yeah, no, that
makes sense. Yeah.
453
00:28:33,337 --> 00:28:36,276
Go ahead. Yeah. Going
down one more floor.
454
00:28:36,299 --> 00:28:38,551
- Thank you.
- Yeah, of course.
455
00:28:39,927 --> 00:28:41,096
Best of luck out there.
456
00:28:57,570 --> 00:28:59,155
Hey, Nate. That you?
457
00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:02,634
Oh. Hi. I didn't see you there.
458
00:29:02,659 --> 00:29:05,953
- Oh, that's okay. How you been, man?
- Yeah, okay.
459
00:29:06,454 --> 00:29:08,457
Yeah. Good. Good.
460
00:29:14,296 --> 00:29:15,297
Listen, Ted.
461
00:29:16,298 --> 00:29:18,526
I... I just wanna say that...
462
00:29:18,549 --> 00:29:19,652
the way I left...
463
00:29:19,675 --> 00:29:22,971
Nathan. There you are.
464
00:29:24,263 --> 00:29:25,265
Yeah.
465
00:29:31,939 --> 00:29:33,397
Hey, Rupert.
466
00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:36,484
- Ted.
- Nice to see you again.
467
00:29:37,152 --> 00:29:38,945
Good luck.
468
00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:46,804
- Keeley? Yeah.
- She's absolutely fantastic.
469
00:29:46,827 --> 00:29:48,972
- Oh, here she is now.
- Ah.
470
00:29:48,997 --> 00:29:52,559
- Hey. Hey. Yeah.
- Um, Keeley? This is Jack Danvers.
471
00:29:52,584 --> 00:29:53,794
Hello.
472
00:29:55,002 --> 00:29:57,130
I believe you have
something of mine.
473
00:29:59,383 --> 00:30:00,507
Oh, fuck. You're Jack?
474
00:30:00,530 --> 00:30:01,676
Oh, fuck. You're Jack?
475
00:30:02,970 --> 00:30:05,030
Ooh, this is a bit embarrassing.
476
00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:07,866
- No.
- Yeah. We all thought you were a man.
477
00:30:07,891 --> 00:30:09,743
Yeah, that too.
478
00:30:09,768 --> 00:30:11,453
Oh, it's like that old riddle.
479
00:30:11,478 --> 00:30:13,914
- What riddle?
- You know, always a tricky one, this one.
480
00:30:13,939 --> 00:30:15,541
A father and son
are in a car wreck.
481
00:30:15,566 --> 00:30:19,378
Dad dies instantly, the son is
rushed to an emergency room.
482
00:30:19,403 --> 00:30:21,422
A surgeon walks in and says,
483
00:30:21,445 --> 00:30:24,217
"I can't operate on
this boy. He's my son."
484
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:25,759
How is it possible?
485
00:30:25,784 --> 00:30:28,096
- Because she's a woman.
- She's gay.
486
00:30:28,119 --> 00:30:30,163
- Sperm donor.
- He lives in a simulation?
487
00:30:30,830 --> 00:30:33,709
Right. Yeah, I guess
that's a bit dated now.
488
00:30:34,292 --> 00:30:37,564
Um, so, I assume "Jack" is
short for "Jacqueline," right?
489
00:30:37,587 --> 00:30:39,506
No. It's short for my
father wanted a boy.
490
00:30:41,549 --> 00:30:45,697
I'm gonna go and sit
down now, outside. Now.
491
00:30:45,721 --> 00:30:47,990
Jack, welcome.
492
00:30:48,015 --> 00:30:50,576
We are not allowed to
take drinks to our seats.
493
00:30:50,601 --> 00:30:52,953
So if you want to get plastered,
we should probably do that now.
494
00:30:52,978 --> 00:30:55,271
Mmm. Okay.
495
00:30:55,855 --> 00:30:57,566
Well, after you.
496
00:31:00,277 --> 00:31:03,070
Ah, you're so funny, Rebecca.
497
00:31:04,114 --> 00:31:07,241
Barbara's obsessed with Rebecca.
498
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,329
I hope she doesn't try and kill
her and wear her skin as a suit.
499
00:31:15,917 --> 00:31:17,228
What the fuck?
500
00:31:17,251 --> 00:31:19,689
Cheers. It's gonna
be a good day.
501
00:31:19,712 --> 00:31:21,757
- All right, Baz.
- Oi!
502
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,093
This is a Richmond pub.
503
00:31:26,178 --> 00:31:27,804
It's all right, Mae.
He's with me.
504
00:31:32,643 --> 00:31:34,228
Get the fuck out!
505
00:31:39,525 --> 00:31:40,835
Come on, Richmond!
506
00:31:40,858 --> 00:31:43,587
Come on, Richmond!
Come on, Richmond!
507
00:31:43,612 --> 00:31:45,423
It's a full house
for today's battle
508
00:31:45,447 --> 00:31:49,426
between West Ham United
and Zava's AFC Richmond.
509
00:31:49,451 --> 00:31:53,096
A win would take either team
to the top spot in the table,
510
00:31:53,121 --> 00:31:56,250
knocking mighty Manchester
City off number one.
511
00:31:56,791 --> 00:31:58,936
Should be a tight match,
Chris. Any predictions?
512
00:31:58,961 --> 00:31:59,019
I stopped making
predictions, Arlo.
513
00:31:59,044 --> 00:32:00,814
I stopped making
predictions, Arlo.
514
00:32:00,837 --> 00:32:02,231
Because I was never wrong.
515
00:32:02,256 --> 00:32:05,567
Got to the point I was worried I
was the one making things happen.
516
00:32:05,592 --> 00:32:06,986
Well, that's interesting.
517
00:32:07,009 --> 00:32:08,153
I knew you'd say that.
518
00:32:08,178 --> 00:32:10,656
♪ They fade and die ♪
519
00:32:10,681 --> 00:32:14,743
♪ Fortune's always hiding ♪
520
00:32:14,768 --> 00:32:18,498
♪ I've looked everywhere ♪
521
00:32:18,521 --> 00:32:22,417
♪ I'm forever blowing bubbles ♪
522
00:32:22,442 --> 00:32:26,381
♪ Pretty bubbles in the air ♪
523
00:32:26,404 --> 00:32:29,092
United! United!
524
00:32:29,115 --> 00:32:32,135
United! United!
525
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,997
United! United!
526
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:37,374
Uh, Nate.
527
00:32:39,209 --> 00:32:41,670
Let's have fun out
there today, yeah?
528
00:33:06,694 --> 00:33:09,132
West Ham are quite happy
to just soak up the pressure.
529
00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:12,634
Not taking any risks
at all against Richmond,
530
00:33:12,659 --> 00:33:14,661
of all teams, at home.
531
00:33:15,412 --> 00:33:18,849
- A sign of how far Richmond have come.
- It's all right. We're okay.
532
00:33:18,874 --> 00:33:20,434
What a threat Zava is.
533
00:33:20,459 --> 00:33:23,836
Richmond! To the right, to the right,
to the right! Tight! Don't get scared.
534
00:33:27,715 --> 00:33:29,611
And it stays nil-nil,
535
00:33:29,634 --> 00:33:31,988
thanks to an amazing
save by Zoreaux.
536
00:33:32,011 --> 00:33:34,199
- Van Damme. Van Damme.
- Van Damme!
537
00:33:34,222 --> 00:33:36,159
I hear he wants to be
called "Van Damme" now.
538
00:33:36,182 --> 00:33:37,076
Why?
539
00:33:37,101 --> 00:33:39,780
Well, we'd probably have to dive
into his childhood for that answer.
540
00:33:40,854 --> 00:33:44,625
Richmond need the key pass
to unlock the Hammers' defense.
541
00:33:44,650 --> 00:33:45,733
That could be the one.
542
00:33:47,402 --> 00:33:48,922
- Tartt hits the woodwork.
- No!
543
00:33:48,945 --> 00:33:51,030
- That was close.
- Zava was wide open.
544
00:33:54,284 --> 00:33:55,952
For Zava!
545
00:33:56,827 --> 00:34:00,769
- There'll be two more minutes in the first half of this scoreless,
- There'll be two more minutes in the first half of this scoreless,
546
00:34:00,794 --> 00:34:02,917
But pulsating, London derby.
547
00:34:04,586 --> 00:34:07,440
- Obisanya caught in possession.
- No. No, no, no.
548
00:34:07,463 --> 00:34:09,675
And here come West
Ham on the break.
549
00:34:10,467 --> 00:34:12,385
Armando bearing down on goal.
550
00:34:14,387 --> 00:34:15,614
- Yeah!
- Yes!
551
00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:18,242
And it's there. Right
under Van Damme.
552
00:34:18,266 --> 00:34:21,204
The Canadian keeper
apparently not as unstoppable
553
00:34:21,228 --> 00:34:23,081
as the Muscles from Brussels.
554
00:34:23,105 --> 00:34:25,958
That's not fair,
Arlo. Nobody is.
555
00:34:25,983 --> 00:34:27,918
- We've been here before. Come on.
- Come on, lads.
556
00:34:27,943 --> 00:34:31,487
The Hammers go up
1-nil just before halftime.
557
00:34:32,072 --> 00:34:34,007
Fuck it.
558
00:34:34,032 --> 00:34:37,077
All right, guys. Come on,
now. Let's end this half strong!
559
00:34:38,327 --> 00:34:39,621
Huddle.
560
00:34:42,623 --> 00:34:43,958
What's this shit?
561
00:34:45,043 --> 00:34:46,103
- Hmm.
- I don't know.
562
00:34:46,128 --> 00:34:48,856
- Lower. Lower. Move it right. Five.
- Brilliant. Brilliant.
563
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,440
- Right now, come on. Five.
- Ref, just blow the fucking whistle.
564
00:34:55,429 --> 00:34:56,530
West Ham pressing now.
565
00:34:56,554 --> 00:34:58,490
- No, no.
- A new tactic from the Hammers
566
00:34:58,514 --> 00:34:58,574
in the closing
seconds of the first half.
567
00:34:58,599 --> 00:35:00,617
In the closing
seconds of the first half.
568
00:35:00,641 --> 00:35:02,561
It's never too late
to change, Arlo.
569
00:35:04,938 --> 00:35:07,791
- No!
- Fuck! Fuck you! Fuck!
570
00:35:07,815 --> 00:35:11,027
And it's 2-nil. Oh, deary me.
571
00:35:15,615 --> 00:35:16,617
Excuse me.
572
00:35:20,829 --> 00:35:22,206
How did that happen?
573
00:35:23,414 --> 00:35:25,518
We go to halftime.
574
00:35:25,541 --> 00:35:27,561
Richmond have
dominated possession,
575
00:35:27,585 --> 00:35:31,733
but out of absolutely nowhere,
it's 2-nil to the Hammers.
576
00:35:31,757 --> 00:35:33,610
We don't deserve that.
577
00:35:33,634 --> 00:35:35,527
What the fuck just happened?
578
00:35:35,552 --> 00:35:36,802
I... I d... I don't know.
579
00:35:39,681 --> 00:35:41,451
Hey, fellas. Uh, I'll
be right back. Okay?
580
00:35:41,474 --> 00:35:42,744
The fuck are you going?
581
00:35:42,768 --> 00:35:45,704
- I'll just be a minute or two, okay?
- What do we t-tell... tell the team?
582
00:35:45,728 --> 00:35:47,481
I don't know. Surprise me.
583
00:35:53,195 --> 00:35:55,465
Hey, boss. What
you doing down here?
584
00:35:55,489 --> 00:35:58,635
I just wanted to tell you
that I believe in you, Ted.
585
00:35:58,659 --> 00:35:59,802
Uh-huh?
586
00:35:59,826 --> 00:35:59,885
And I know that I've been putting
an awful lot of pressure on you
587
00:35:59,909 --> 00:36:02,931
And I know that I've been putting
an awful lot of pressure on you
588
00:36:02,954 --> 00:36:07,768
to win today, but I just... Just
want you to forget all about that.
589
00:36:07,793 --> 00:36:11,588
Just... be yourself
and have fun.
590
00:36:13,047 --> 00:36:14,025
- Okay.
- Yeah.
591
00:36:14,048 --> 00:36:16,009
Okay. Well, thank you.
592
00:36:17,802 --> 00:36:19,554
I believe in you, Ted.
593
00:36:20,931 --> 00:36:23,016
And it's intense.
594
00:36:24,268 --> 00:36:26,394
- I better go. All right.
- Off you pop.
595
00:36:28,896 --> 00:36:34,295
Remember, have fun! Whoo-hoo!
596
00:36:34,318 --> 00:36:37,882
Yes! This is so exciting!
597
00:36:37,905 --> 00:36:39,175
Whoo-hoo!
598
00:36:39,199 --> 00:36:40,701
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
599
00:36:43,286 --> 00:36:44,413
No.
600
00:36:52,838 --> 00:36:54,172
This is your surprise, huh?
601
00:36:54,715 --> 00:36:57,885
A minute ago, they were
catatonic. Now look at them.
602
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:04,322
- They're killers. - Frankly, Ted, sometimes that's good.
- They're killers. - Frankly, Ted, sometimes that's good.
603
00:37:18,989 --> 00:37:21,175
Oh, my. Richmond
coming out of the tunnel
604
00:37:21,199 --> 00:37:23,452
with a palpable chip
on their shoulder.
605
00:37:24,036 --> 00:37:28,182
Wow. A real tension on the pitch.
I think we're in for an exciting half.
606
00:37:28,206 --> 00:37:31,311
We begin the second half with
Richmond looking for a strong start.
607
00:37:31,335 --> 00:37:33,563
- Come on, boys. Fucking kill 'em.
- Fucking kill 'em.
608
00:37:33,586 --> 00:37:34,963
- Here we go. Here we go!
- Kill!
609
00:37:37,757 --> 00:37:40,027
- Ooh. That's an awful tackle.
- Oh.
610
00:37:40,052 --> 00:37:41,820
- He would be fortunate to escape...
- Oh, fuck.
611
00:37:41,844 --> 00:37:43,155
With just a yellow.
612
00:37:43,179 --> 00:37:45,074
It's a deserved
red, and Richmond
613
00:37:45,097 --> 00:37:48,393
will play almost the entire
second half with ten men.
614
00:37:49,686 --> 00:37:51,730
He's actually a very
sweet young man.
615
00:37:53,273 --> 00:37:55,335
Here come West Ham.
616
00:37:55,358 --> 00:37:56,860
Aw.
617
00:37:58,362 --> 00:37:58,420
And now Van Damme
has been sent off.
618
00:37:58,445 --> 00:38:00,172
And now Van Damme
has been sent off.
619
00:38:00,197 --> 00:38:02,782
- We're playing like Italians.
- I know.
620
00:38:03,534 --> 00:38:04,534
It's awesome.
621
00:38:07,329 --> 00:38:08,914
Oh, dear.
622
00:38:20,592 --> 00:38:22,820
It's getting a touch
spicy out there.
623
00:38:22,844 --> 00:38:26,139
Spicy, Arlo? This
is vintage vindaloo.
624
00:38:28,474 --> 00:38:29,474
No.
625
00:38:41,195 --> 00:38:45,784
Oh, Montlaur has lost his mind,
and Richmond have lost a third player.
626
00:38:46,827 --> 00:38:48,661
Om.
627
00:38:53,583 --> 00:38:55,186
Oof.
628
00:38:55,210 --> 00:38:57,003
Fucking come on.
629
00:38:57,588 --> 00:39:00,867
- Richmond have completely lost the plot.
- Richmond have completely lost the plot.
630
00:39:01,507 --> 00:39:05,137
Zava must be wondering
what he's done to deserve this.
631
00:39:10,516 --> 00:39:12,036
Yes!
632
00:39:12,059 --> 00:39:14,079
And it's 4-1 to the Hammers.
633
00:39:14,103 --> 00:39:17,000
It went from evenly
matched to unevenly matched
634
00:39:17,023 --> 00:39:21,045
to light a match on fire
and put it into a can of petrol.
635
00:39:21,068 --> 00:39:23,463
That second half should've
come with a trigger warning.
636
00:39:23,487 --> 00:39:27,802
One extraordinary goal by Zava did
not make it any less tough to watch.
637
00:39:27,826 --> 00:39:31,472
Richmond showed a side of
themselves we've never seen before.
638
00:39:31,496 --> 00:39:34,057
They played angry,
dirty and ugly.
639
00:39:34,081 --> 00:39:37,126
Which are also the names
of Zava's three youngest kids.
640
00:39:37,753 --> 00:39:39,213
Shit.
641
00:39:41,797 --> 00:39:42,798
Shit.
642
00:39:44,092 --> 00:39:45,110
Shit.
643
00:39:45,135 --> 00:39:47,262
- Hey, it's okay.
- Shit.
644
00:39:52,059 --> 00:39:53,286
Did you guys have fun?
645
00:39:53,309 --> 00:39:54,369
Yeah.
646
00:39:54,393 --> 00:39:57,438
The violence was quite
entertaining, wasn't it? In a way.
647
00:40:05,112 --> 00:40:07,324
Sending off Van
Damme was a mistake.
648
00:40:08,032 --> 00:40:09,326
He played with passion.
649
00:40:10,536 --> 00:40:13,079
"Passion" is a word we
use when we talk about love.
650
00:40:14,706 --> 00:40:17,960
It is also a word we
use to describe a crime.
651
00:40:19,670 --> 00:40:21,213
Sometimes it is also a fruit.
652
00:40:25,759 --> 00:40:27,094
Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry.
653
00:40:48,782 --> 00:40:51,344
- We fucked up.
- We overcorrected and played with hate.
654
00:40:51,367 --> 00:40:52,452
Mmm.
655
00:40:54,161 --> 00:40:56,956
- Be great if you yelled at us a bit.
- Please.
656
00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:02,349
- Call us pieces of shit or something. - Now.
- Call us pieces of shit or something. - Now.
657
00:41:02,670 --> 00:41:03,856
You can hit us.
658
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:05,132
Get it over with.
659
00:41:06,967 --> 00:41:09,010
Tried something new. It
didn't work. Big whoop.
660
00:41:11,387 --> 00:41:13,431
I will take that thumb
drive one of y'all's got.
661
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:25,318
Shake it off, fellas. Lot
of football left this season.
662
00:41:29,322 --> 00:41:31,467
- What a fucking arsehole.
- I know.
663
00:41:31,490 --> 00:41:34,429
You have to feel pretty good
about yourself after that win, yeah?
664
00:41:34,452 --> 00:41:36,764
Well, yeah. Uh, Richmond
were clearly rattled.
665
00:41:36,788 --> 00:41:40,268
Um, it was easier than
I expected, if I'm honest.
666
00:41:40,291 --> 00:41:41,351
What about Ted?
667
00:41:41,376 --> 00:41:44,253
Quite a snub not to shake his
hand at the end of the game.
668
00:41:45,463 --> 00:41:48,818
Did I not? I... I
didn't mean to.
669
00:41:48,842 --> 00:41:52,530
I... Guess I just got caught
up in the excitement of it all.
670
00:41:52,554 --> 00:41:54,347
Yeah.
671
00:41:55,139 --> 00:41:56,300
Excuse me a minute. I just...
672
00:42:08,570 --> 00:42:11,322
Coach Shelley, Mr. Mannion
asked me to give you this.
673
00:42:13,157 --> 00:42:14,701
He'll meet you there in an hour.
674
00:42:16,202 --> 00:42:18,371
Oh. Thank...
675
00:42:36,389 --> 00:42:38,992
- It's so good to see you, Rebecca.
- You too, Bex.
676
00:42:39,016 --> 00:42:40,954
Oh, Rebecca, my dear.
677
00:42:40,978 --> 00:42:44,706
- So sorry for your loss.
- Thank you.
678
00:42:44,731 --> 00:42:47,150
Come on, old man. It's
way past your bedtime.
679
00:42:51,405 --> 00:42:53,114
Lovely to see you.
680
00:42:53,699 --> 00:42:55,284
I saw you with your assistant.
681
00:42:56,659 --> 00:42:58,911
Your daughter deserves
better, and so does Bex.
682
00:42:59,996 --> 00:43:01,757
- Stop fucking around.
- Stop fucking around.
683
00:43:10,007 --> 00:43:11,818
Here you go.
684
00:43:11,842 --> 00:43:14,987
We are normally a lot
better than that. And nicer.
685
00:43:15,012 --> 00:43:19,784
Well, it's never great when your team
gets more red cards than goals, is it?
686
00:43:19,807 --> 00:43:21,619
No.
687
00:43:21,643 --> 00:43:24,563
What a shit show.
688
00:43:25,856 --> 00:43:28,001
Anyway, good news.
Bantr's trending.
689
00:43:28,025 --> 00:43:29,126
- It is?
- Yeah.
690
00:43:29,150 --> 00:43:32,153
Pretty sure the change
to the bio line helped.
691
00:43:32,695 --> 00:43:33,947
What are you talking about?
692
00:43:38,367 --> 00:43:39,596
Who did this?
693
00:43:39,619 --> 00:43:42,931
I did. This afternoon,
when I uploaded the vids.
694
00:43:42,956 --> 00:43:44,833
You're welcome.
695
00:43:46,335 --> 00:43:47,628
- Shandy.
- Yeah.
696
00:43:49,213 --> 00:43:53,610
This... This is the opposite
of what Bantr is trying to do.
697
00:43:53,634 --> 00:43:55,945
Are you joking?
They're gonna love it.
698
00:43:55,969 --> 00:43:58,554
I've literally tripled their
subscribers in an hour.
699
00:43:59,764 --> 00:44:01,514
You need to change
this back, now. Please.
700
00:44:01,539 --> 00:44:03,226
You need to change
this back, now. Please.
701
00:44:04,393 --> 00:44:05,394
Yeah.
702
00:44:07,481 --> 00:44:09,440
It was really
lovely to meet you.
703
00:44:10,192 --> 00:44:12,485
- You too.
- Excuse me.
704
00:44:18,282 --> 00:44:21,887
Hey. Here he is!
705
00:44:21,911 --> 00:44:24,456
The Wonder Kid himself.
706
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,894
The man of the hour!
707
00:44:28,918 --> 00:44:31,356
Aw. Thank you very
much, Mr. Mannion.
708
00:44:31,380 --> 00:44:34,317
Please, no. "Rupert."
709
00:44:34,340 --> 00:44:36,485
- Oh.
- Nathan.
710
00:44:36,510 --> 00:44:39,197
Oh. Thanks, Ms. Kakes. That's...
711
00:44:39,221 --> 00:44:43,641
And, uh, Nathan, allow
me to introduce Anastasia.
712
00:44:45,184 --> 00:44:46,186
Huge fan.
713
00:44:49,438 --> 00:44:50,791
Oh, my God. You're famous.
714
00:44:50,815 --> 00:44:52,233
So are you.
715
00:44:57,989 --> 00:44:59,740
Congratulations to your victory.
716
00:45:00,449 --> 00:45:01,994
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
717
00:45:04,871 --> 00:45:05,873
Mmm.
718
00:45:10,460 --> 00:45:12,503
Come on, Tartt! One
more before dinner!
719
00:45:14,755 --> 00:45:17,467
Let's go, Coach.
720
00:45:22,972 --> 00:45:24,492
That was hard to watch.
721
00:45:24,516 --> 00:45:28,413
Thierry, West Ham's domination today
saw Ted Lasso being totally exposed
722
00:45:28,436 --> 00:45:30,498
by his former
assistant Nate Shelley.
723
00:45:30,521 --> 00:45:33,918
Gary, I love this quote from
a Chinese philosopher, Laozi,
724
00:45:33,942 --> 00:45:36,588
"When the student is ready,
the teacher will appear.
725
00:45:36,612 --> 00:45:40,132
When the student is truly
ready, the teacher will disappear."
726
00:45:40,157 --> 00:45:41,240
The Greyhounds...
727
00:46:10,853 --> 00:46:12,021
- Hi, Ted.
- Hey.
728
00:46:12,606 --> 00:46:13,625
Sorry about the match.
729
00:46:13,648 --> 00:46:16,126
No, no. That's all right.
It was a tough one.
730
00:46:16,150 --> 00:46:18,295
Henry's not here right
now. He's at a birthday party,
731
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:19,380
- but I'll...
- No, that's okay.
732
00:46:19,403 --> 00:46:22,990
I w... I was actually hoping just to chat
with you. You... You... You got a minute?
733
00:46:23,659 --> 00:46:25,719
Sure. Is everything okay?
734
00:46:25,744 --> 00:46:30,016
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh... Well, uh... No.
735
00:46:30,039 --> 00:46:31,583
You know, I... I just, um...
736
00:46:33,001 --> 00:46:35,586
I wanted to say
something real quick. Um...
737
00:46:37,630 --> 00:46:39,215
Look, I, uh...
738
00:46:39,715 --> 00:46:44,054
I know that you and I aren't,
you know, together anymore.
739
00:46:44,596 --> 00:46:45,907
A-And... And I respect that.
740
00:46:45,931 --> 00:46:48,976
Okay? I... I do. Um...
741
00:46:52,938 --> 00:46:55,625
But, um... Well, uh, you know,
742
00:46:55,648 --> 00:46:59,152
this whole thing with you and
Dr. Jacob really ticks me off.
743
00:47:01,028 --> 00:47:04,300
And I'm upset that we didn't
ever really get to talk about it
744
00:47:04,324 --> 00:47:06,159
before it all started.
745
00:47:07,911 --> 00:47:08,887
Yeah.
746
00:47:08,911 --> 00:47:13,601
A-And l-look, I understand
that m-me saying all this,
747
00:47:13,625 --> 00:47:17,128
uh, might be the
wrong thing to do, but...
748
00:47:19,338 --> 00:47:22,925
I just feel like
not saying it...
749
00:47:26,346 --> 00:47:28,056
i-i-isn't the, um...
750
00:47:29,974 --> 00:47:31,614
Well, wouldn't be
the right thing either.
751
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:37,773
'Cause we gotta raise this
little boy together, you know?
752
00:47:40,110 --> 00:47:42,570
We're stuck with each other.
We're gonna share grandkids.
753
00:47:49,202 --> 00:47:50,786
I love you, Michelle.
754
00:47:53,623 --> 00:47:54,958
And I love Henry.
755
00:47:59,838 --> 00:48:01,757
- And I love our family.
- And I love our family.
756
00:48:03,759 --> 00:48:05,177
No matter what it looks like.
757
00:48:12,184 --> 00:48:13,184
Okay?
758
00:48:16,230 --> 00:48:17,231
Of course.
759
00:48:21,818 --> 00:48:24,195
Well, uh, I'll
talk to y'all soon.
760
00:48:25,155 --> 00:48:27,740
Have a good night.
Tell... Tell Henry I love him.
761
00:48:28,574 --> 00:48:29,617
Good night, Ted.