1 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:29,028 Fucking hell. 2 00:00:29,862 --> 00:00:31,132 All right, let's go. 3 00:00:31,155 --> 00:00:32,548 It's 4:00 a.m. 4 00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:34,676 Yeah. We start at 4:00 a.m. 5 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:35,887 I thought you were joking. 6 00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:37,137 How is that a joke? 7 00:00:37,161 --> 00:00:38,579 'Cause it's 4:00 a.m. 8 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,226 We start at 4:00, so you can do three workouts a day instead of two. 9 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:46,295 Okay, but it's 4:00 a.m. 10 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,590 Do you wanna be better than Zava or not? 11 00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:52,719 Well, how are we gonna see? It's dark out. 12 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,430 Fucking hell. 13 00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:59,560 Now get dressed. Or I start flicking your balls. 14 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,853 This is perverse. 15 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:35,721 Whoops. 16 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:52,528 There you go. 17 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,668 Good morning, Sassy Smurf. 18 00:02:09,294 --> 00:02:11,900 Good morning, Marlboro Man. 19 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:14,193 You know, you snored all night. 20 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,570 Hmm. I'm sorry about that. 21 00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,740 That's all right. It's actually very soothing. 22 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,033 Sounded like the sea. 23 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,743 Well, I'm glad you didn't hear any boat horns, 24 00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:25,603 given all the fried yams I ate last night. 25 00:02:28,105 --> 00:02:29,106 Oh. 26 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:34,421 Hey, I was thinking. We have a good time together, yeah? 27 00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:37,156 They're called simultaneous orgasms, Ted, yes. 28 00:02:37,865 --> 00:02:39,718 Yeah, well, but I mean 29 00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:43,223 also all the talking and laughing and all that stuff. Yeah? 30 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:46,500 Sure. Well, apart from all your dreadful puns. 31 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,728 Right. Well, it's tough. 32 00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:51,796 Sometimes I just see 'em there, and I gotta take a swing at 'em, you know? 33 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,968 No, I... Well, what I'm getting at is, um... 34 00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:01,141 - Well, I was just thinking maybe... - Well, I was just thinking maybe... 35 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,307 we could go on an actual date sometime. 36 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:06,562 You know? You and me, together. 37 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:08,813 God, no. 38 00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:12,418 Well, I appreciate you taking the time to consider it. 39 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,711 Ted, we can't date. 40 00:03:14,735 --> 00:03:15,736 Why not? 41 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,074 - You're a mess. - I'm a mess? 42 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:20,676 Course you are. 43 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:24,138 I'm a mess too, but I'm a mess three years further on than you, 44 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,557 so I'm more of a slight disarray. 45 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,768 More like a slight disarray of sunshine, if you ask me. 46 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,186 Oh, God. 47 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,814 - Sorry. - Ted, on the day my ex got remarried, 48 00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:36,675 I drank a bottle of red wine through a straw 49 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,862 and told my Uber driver I was in love with him. 50 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:43,658 Then, when he dropped me home, I puked so much, 51 00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:46,768 my mouth was like an elevator from the goddamn Shining. 52 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,622 Knocked my rating down to a 3.9. 53 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,355 3.9? Ooh. 54 00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,151 Fuck you. Why? What's yours? 55 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:58,197 Oh, God, you're a five, aren't you? 56 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,721 - Course you're a five. How the fuck are you a five? 57 00:04:01,745 --> 00:04:04,679 I don't know. I'm tidy. I say "Please" and "Thank you." 58 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,788 Sometimes I offer to drive if they look tired. 59 00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:10,417 Oh, you are such a mess. 60 00:04:13,669 --> 00:04:16,379 Ted, I like our status. 61 00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:21,987 Friends with benefits, like Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. 62 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:25,199 Oh, no, no, no. I think you're thinking of 2011's other 63 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,391 good-friends-turned-casual-lovers based rom-com. 64 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:30,937 No Strings Attached. 65 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,625 Friends with Benefits was Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. 66 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:38,213 Oh, wow. 2011, friends be fuckin'. 67 00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:39,338 Mm-hmm, yeah. 68 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,449 So, let's keep things 2011. Cool and breezy. 69 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,409 - Like an Arab Spring. - Mmm. 70 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:51,100 And good luck against West Ham this weekend. 71 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,726 - Mmm. - Fuck Rupert 72 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:56,045 and that shriveled raisin-pouch he calls a nutsack. 73 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,122 Hello! Here for Flo? 74 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,939 - You can jump in, love. - Lovely, thank you. 75 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,795 Ooh, this is nice. Gray seats? Yes, please. 76 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,838 West Ham. This is the real opportunity 77 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,548 for the Wonder Kid to become the Wonder Man... 78 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,074 101. 79 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,386 100. 80 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,995 Ninety-nine. 81 00:05:33,457 --> 00:05:35,127 Why do you only sleep with a top on? 82 00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:39,005 Because I get cold upstairs and hot downstairs. 83 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,132 Hmm. I get that. 84 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,721 Mornin'. 85 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:10,096 Oh, listen to what Rupert said in this one. 86 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:14,016 "I truly look forward to seeing my old club again. 87 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,310 Richmond are top-class." 88 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,855 Ugh, what a soggy, wet piece of shit. 89 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,213 - Thank you. - Mmm. 90 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:24,800 Right, I'm off to the training ground. Thanks again for the opportunity. 91 00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:27,822 Babe, you earned it. 92 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:31,033 Shandy came up with this super fun Bantr promo. 93 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,161 It uses all the single players on the team. 94 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,411 Yeah. 95 00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:38,524 The anonymous man you're Bantr-ing with could be a professional footballer. 96 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,793 - Mmm? - Oh, that's great. 97 00:06:41,817 --> 00:06:44,588 And that's all the single players, you say? 98 00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:48,675 So, it's, like, Colin and Dani and Sam, et cetera? 99 00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:50,952 Yeah, although I don't think Sam's doing it anymore. 100 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,372 - No. - Mmm. So fun. 101 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:58,144 - Um, Ms. Jones. - Hello, Barbara. 102 00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:58,228 - All right there, Barbs? - It's "Barbara." 103 00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,103 - All right there, Barbs? - It's "Barbara." 104 00:07:00,127 --> 00:07:04,901 Um, if possible, could I get two tickets for the Richmond-West Ham match? 105 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,028 Jack might be coming to London this weekend. 106 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,302 Of course. 107 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:10,764 Who's Jack? 108 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,475 - Jack Danvers. - Mmm? 109 00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:18,105 The head of the VC that funded your company. 110 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,690 Our boss. 111 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:27,029 Yes. That Jack. Of course. 112 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,908 - Uh... - That's not a problem, Barbara. 113 00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,678 I can let you have some seats in my suite. 114 00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:35,473 Oh. Lovely. 115 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,750 Thank you so much, Rebecca. That's so kind of you and so efficient. 116 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,254 Keeley. 117 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,925 Thanks, Barbara. 118 00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:52,906 So, the one thing we cannot do against West Ham is the False Nine. 119 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,867 - 'Cause that's Nate's shit. - Exactly. 120 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:57,245 So, we decided to go with our classic 4-4-2. 121 00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,497 Which is exactly what that prick expects us to do. 122 00:07:59,521 --> 00:07:59,581 So, we do the opposite. Five up front. Full-on attack. 123 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:02,375 So, we do the opposite. Five up front. Full-on attack. 124 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:05,920 But Nate knows we're gonna do that, 125 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:09,990 because Nate knows that we're trying to outthink him by thinking like him. 126 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,762 Well, fuck Nate, fuck thinking and fuck fucking Socrates. 127 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,098 So, we gotta stop thinking like Nate and start thinking 128 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,893 like Nate would think we would think if Nate were thinking like us, 129 00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,060 and then do the last thing that Nate thinking like us 130 00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:25,172 thinking like Nate thinking like us would ever expect us to do. 131 00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:30,653 Have Zava drop back and play Nate's False Nine. 132 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:31,970 Voi-fucking-là. 133 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,197 Brilliant. 134 00:08:34,221 --> 00:08:36,451 - Ah, it's mostly Beard's idea. - Nah, it was a group effort. 135 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:37,576 I do have one question. 136 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,976 - Of course. - Who fucking cares? 137 00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,812 Do you think Zava'll do it? 138 00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:49,863 Fuck! 139 00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,134 - Good mornin'. - Hey. 140 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,010 Oh. Oh. 141 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,846 - Uh-oh, what's wrong? - Roy doesn't think we can beat Nate. 142 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:57,931 - Higgins doesn't think so either! - Beard said it to me first. 143 00:08:57,955 --> 00:09:01,643 - Higgins doesn't think so either! - Beard said it to me first. 144 00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:04,770 - You throw me under the bus? How dare... - You walked in here this morning... 145 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:08,232 - Oh, you're gonna sell me out? - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 146 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:11,068 Y'all pointin' more fingers than Ganesha givin' directions. 147 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:14,596 Now look, you fellas need to calm down and just kiss. 148 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,225 He's right. 149 00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:21,663 Keep it simple, smartypants. 150 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:24,313 An answer will show up. Don't worry. 151 00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:29,403 But until it does, here's a question for y'all: Am I a mess? 152 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:34,424 Sassy ended up spending the night last night and, uh... 153 00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:36,802 - Ooh. - No, no, no, hush your butts. 154 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,263 That ain't the headline. 155 00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:40,431 Well, I asked her out on a proper date this morning. 156 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:44,644 She turned me down cold. She said I was... And I quote... "a mess." 157 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:47,980 - Ooh. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 158 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:51,359 Sounds like a case for the Diamond Dogs! 159 00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:52,818 Release the hounds. 160 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,052 Yeah, here we go! Let's do it. 161 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,870 - Fuck's sakes. - Fuck's sakes. 162 00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:06,898 Yes. 163 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,626 - "Yes" what? - Yes, you're a mess. 164 00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:11,461 Okay. Expound. 165 00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:12,672 We're playing Nate this week, 166 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,375 and you're acting like it's not a big deal. 167 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,842 Nothing's different. He didn't hurt you. 168 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,802 Hey, look, we ain't talking about Nate right now. 169 00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:21,889 I'm asking you if you think I'm a mess. All right? 170 00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,057 Higgy pie, what do you think? 171 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:26,918 I think I don't understand how you're not pissed off with Nate. 172 00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:30,690 We have a saying in Co-Dependents Anonymous. 173 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:31,691 Y... What? 174 00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,359 Uh, Jane makes me go with her. 175 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,735 - Oh. - Oh, yeah. 176 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,863 Pain is like carbon monoxide. 177 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:40,866 Expressing it to the person who hurt you is like opening a vent, 178 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,161 but holding it in will poison you. 179 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:46,748 I like that. But Nate didn't hurt me. 180 00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:47,940 Bullshit! 181 00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:52,044 Oh, Roy, did you wanna get in on this Diamond Dog situation? 182 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,713 - Hey, Roy! Hey, Roy. - Hey, Roy. Here, Roy. 183 00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,883 Here, Roy. Come here, Roy. 184 00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:58,927 La, la, la, la, la! 185 00:10:58,951 --> 00:10:59,009 So, the match of the week is clearly Richmond and West Ham. 186 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:02,971 So, the match of the week is clearly Richmond and West Ham. 187 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:05,767 Now, it's been a strong start to the season for both of these teams, 188 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:08,977 but I think the Hammers are favorites, going into the London derby, 189 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:12,505 based on the tactical acumen of the Wonder Kid, Nathan Shelley. 190 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:17,236 Yeah, Shelley is brilliant, there's no doubt about that, 191 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:20,865 but Zava, he is a genius. I like the Greyhounds for this one. 192 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,241 That's my guy! 193 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,225 No, you can't have him. He's mine. 194 00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:29,039 - Let's move on, shall we, to Sunday's... - Hey, look. Guys, guys. 195 00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,231 Who cares, right? 196 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,293 Now come on, we've got work to do. Let's go. 197 00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,320 He is correct. 198 00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:42,619 We must ignore these talking faces. Even when they are in our favor. 199 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,639 Thank you, "Zorro." 200 00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:48,250 Oh, exactly, but it's, uh... It's actually pronounced, uh, "Zoreaux." 201 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:52,796 Why? 202 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,466 I don't know. Because that's how my parents say it, I guess? 203 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,573 My friend, you can be whoever you want to be. 204 00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:04,057 My friend, you can be whoever you want to be. 205 00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:09,687 I let all of my children name themselves once they reach the age of seven. 206 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,984 That is why my eldest is called "Smingus Dingus." 207 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:15,962 Mmm. 208 00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:19,322 Dream big, and you may never wake up. 209 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,971 Thank you. 210 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:26,389 Jesus. 211 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:30,601 I can't believe I'm about to say this, but hey, lads, I agree with Zava. 212 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:33,730 Yes, it's a big fucking game, but we've just gotta focus, do what we do, 213 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,440 - do you know what I mean? - Yeah. He's right. 214 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:36,673 And don't forget, yeah? 215 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,947 - Believe in "Believe." - Yes. 216 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,932 - Whoa! - Whoa! What the... 217 00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:47,744 What? 218 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,894 - Oh, shit. - What? 219 00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:52,438 Oh. 220 00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,586 - Why the fuck did you do that? - I was just checking 221 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,571 if I acquired the ability to chop things in half. 222 00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:01,111 Yeah, and what if you had? 223 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,743 Sorry, bruv. I didn't think it through. 224 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:09,849 Fellas. Someone ripped this in half. 225 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,416 What the fuck? What? 226 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,269 What the fuck? 227 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,379 You're joking. 228 00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:19,383 What the fuck? 229 00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:43,948 Oh, hello... 230 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:45,993 Jade. 231 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:49,538 Nathan. 232 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:52,540 Shelley. 233 00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:55,979 Lovely to see you again. 234 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,296 Okay. 235 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:01,392 - Sorry I've not been around much. - Sorry I've not been around much. 236 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:02,652 You haven't? 237 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:06,697 No. No, I've been, uh, really busy with, uh... with my new job. 238 00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:11,475 Big, big new job just keeping me... very busy. 239 00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:15,105 Sounds silly. Maybe you should quit your big new busy job. 240 00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,668 Anyway, uh, just here to pick up my takeaway. 241 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,921 I bought lunch for my whole staff. 242 00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:24,072 Apart from the trainers, 'cause they eat like cows. 243 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:28,135 Sorry, that sounds, um... No, they're love... I mean, they're lovely people. 244 00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:29,952 They're just vegetarians. 245 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,750 No way. 246 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:41,441 Look who's here. No fucking way! 247 00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:42,649 Do you know who this is? 248 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:43,817 Mmm. Jason Jelly. 249 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,861 - That's right. - No, "Nathan Shelley." 250 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,864 - Mmm. - That's right, Nathan Shelley, 251 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,866 manager of West Ham United, in my restaurant! 252 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,745 - Big week, my guy. - Yep. 253 00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:57,789 Big fucking week. I'm Derek. I'm the manager here. 254 00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:57,874 Anything you need, you got it. 255 00:14:57,898 --> 00:15:00,359 Anything you need, you got it. 256 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:03,962 - Okay. - From one manager to another. 257 00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,840 Yeah, well, it's not... Not quite the same, but... 258 00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:08,467 Facing your team this week. 259 00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:11,261 - That's gotta be hard-core, right? - Mmm. 260 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,806 I mean, you talked a lot of shit about them in the press. 261 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:17,769 - Didn't ya? I loved it. - Sorry, can I, um... can I pay? 262 00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:24,567 No. No. No, no, no, no. This is on me, okay? On me. Understand? 263 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,611 This man's money is no good here. 264 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:31,157 Never charge. Except for booze. Gotta charge for booze. 265 00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:32,866 I didn't order any booze. It's 12:30. 266 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:36,078 Knock 'em dead. 267 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:40,250 - Mmm. - Go Hammers! 268 00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:41,334 No way. 269 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:45,070 Oi, oi, oi. Do you know who this is? 270 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:50,783 All right, okay. Bye. 271 00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:06,567 And cut! 272 00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:08,528 Lovely, Colin. Thank you. 273 00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:11,346 All right. Okay, Dani, you're up. 274 00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:13,826 I'm very nervous. 275 00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:15,701 Oh, no, no. Don't be nervous. Look, just sit here. 276 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:16,827 - Mm-hmm. - Look into the camera 277 00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,830 and pretend you're talking to an old friend. 278 00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:20,164 My oldest friend is Javiar. 279 00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:22,667 Great. How long have you known Javiar? 280 00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:26,278 Only a couple of months, but he turns 108 years old next week. 281 00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,615 - Perfect. - Yeah. 282 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:31,825 Final checks. 283 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:34,702 Thank you. 284 00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,099 - Hello, Keeley. - Hi. 285 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:41,894 Yeah. Just scoot to your left a little bit. 286 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:45,172 Yeah, that's it. Okay, off you go, Dani. 287 00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:49,759 You may not know who I am, but I think the most beautiful parts of a woman 288 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,778 are her flaws. 289 00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:55,783 - Hmm. - And cut! Thank you, Dani. Next! 290 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:56,892 Okay. 291 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,664 - Brought you coffee. - Yeah. 292 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,875 - How's it going? - Oh, my God. This is great. 293 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,210 - Yeah? - They're great. 294 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:08,505 I just... I love being the boss. 295 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,589 - Cheers to that. Yeah. - Cheers to that. 296 00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:11,965 Uh, you ready, Zoreaux? 297 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:14,660 Oh, uh, yeah, but I actually go by "Van Damme" now. 298 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,703 Okay, great. Action, Van Damme. 299 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,641 You don't know who I am, 300 00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:23,353 but I'm looking for someone who likes short walks on the beach, 301 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,963 so we can spend more time, you know... 302 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,695 And cut. 303 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,515 Great, thanks, Van Damme. Next! 304 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:39,993 - Van Damme? - Yeah. It's my new name. 305 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:42,229 Oh, cool. Why? 306 00:17:42,813 --> 00:17:44,082 Because I love Jean-Claude Van Damme, 307 00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,148 and Zava told me I should be whoever I wanna be. 308 00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:49,586 - Okay, yeah. Cool. - All right, Van Damme. 309 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,320 - All right, boys. - Take it easy. 310 00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:55,093 He's so fucking hot. 311 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,469 What's his story? 312 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,953 Jamie? Oh, he's so cocky. 313 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,374 But I guess you have to be at this level. 314 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,750 But he only thinks about himself. 315 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,480 At least, he used to. 316 00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:11,025 Joking. No. 317 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:14,469 But he's not accountable for his actions and what they do to others. 318 00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:19,391 Except he is getting better at making apologies. 319 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,686 Still, he only thinks with his dick. 320 00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:29,108 And yet, I don't think he's seen anyone in ages. 321 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:33,654 I just wanna know if I can bang him, babe. 322 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:39,036 Oh. I don't know. 323 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,556 You should probably ask him, it's his dick. 324 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,915 Cool. Off you go, Jamie. 325 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,817 Oh, what are y'all still doing here? 326 00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,819 Coach, you're gonna wanna watch this. 327 00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,113 Ooh, is it one of them videos 328 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,281 of a military parent coming home after a long tour? 329 00:18:59,306 --> 00:18:59,365 'Cause if so, I'm gonna be eating tears and snot for dinner. 330 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,576 'Cause if so, I'm gonna be eating tears and snot for dinner. 331 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:03,309 - Not quite. - Hmm. 332 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:46,894 Here we go. 333 00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,713 Where'd this come from? 334 00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:59,342 This fucking legend thought to pull the security footage 335 00:19:59,365 --> 00:19:59,424 when we told him about the sign. 336 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,844 When we told him about the sign. 337 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,636 I guess you can take the boy out of journalism 338 00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:04,305 but you can't take journalism out of the boy. 339 00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,348 Right, you fucking ruined it now. The point is, 340 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,875 the answer we were looking for has arrived. 341 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:10,603 What are you talking about? 342 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:14,047 A video like this could motivate a team, perhaps. 343 00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:15,715 Mm-hmm. 344 00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:19,010 Thank you for your help, Trent. 345 00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,805 May a young Robert Redford portray you in a film someday. 346 00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,575 - Probably Dustin Hoffman. - Mm-hmm. 347 00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:24,849 - Good night. - Good night. 348 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,269 Go home, guys. Get some sleep. 349 00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:30,789 - Okay. - Mm-hmm. 350 00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:32,541 - Good night, Ted. Night, Beard. - Good night. 351 00:20:32,566 --> 00:20:33,650 Night, Coach. 352 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,844 - Uh, Coach. - Mmm. 353 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:46,013 I was thinking about your Sassy situation. 354 00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:47,163 Oh, yeah. 355 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,099 Jane's sister is in town. 356 00:20:49,124 --> 00:20:51,210 - No, thank you, Coach. - That's the right answer. 357 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:13,105 Burning the midnight oil, I see. 358 00:21:14,191 --> 00:21:17,361 Uh, yeah. Sorry for the smell. 359 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,464 The oil burning. 360 00:21:20,489 --> 00:21:22,509 Oh. 361 00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:25,451 So, you're feeling confident about this weekend? 362 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,704 Yeah. Yeah, no, I think so. Um... 363 00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:33,210 Yeah, no. Go... Yeah. We're gonna destroy, right? 364 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,188 Good. 365 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,422 No, it's j... Um... It's just, I... 366 00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:41,884 I just haven't seen Ted since I left and, uh... 367 00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:46,013 We didn't leave on the best of terms and... 368 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:49,993 I feel like I owe him an apology or something. 369 00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:52,311 You did what was best for you. 370 00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:54,289 What were you meant to do? 371 00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:57,000 Hang around, supporting Ted for the rest of your life? 372 00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:58,609 I don't think so. 373 00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:07,911 You've done nothing wrong, Nathan, I promise you. 374 00:22:09,872 --> 00:22:11,539 You earned this job. 375 00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:16,520 Well, so what do I say when I see him? 376 00:22:16,545 --> 00:22:19,756 You say nothing, apart from "hello." 377 00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:23,509 You look him in the eye. You shake his hand. 378 00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:26,762 And then you beat him. 379 00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:30,826 And then we go and celebrate. 380 00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:33,186 Okay. 381 00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:34,854 Good night, Nathan. 382 00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:40,986 Good night, Rupert. Thank you. 383 00:22:42,445 --> 00:22:43,572 Mr. Mannion. 384 00:23:33,704 --> 00:23:34,705 Hey. 385 00:23:35,374 --> 00:23:37,018 Working late? Or hardly working? 386 00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:39,269 Well, I don't think that's how the joke goes. 387 00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:40,503 What joke? 388 00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:42,798 Never mind. What's up? 389 00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:47,635 I really want to win this one. 390 00:23:48,929 --> 00:23:50,012 I know. 391 00:23:57,354 --> 00:23:58,521 Everything okay? 392 00:24:04,987 --> 00:24:06,213 Am I a mess? 393 00:24:06,238 --> 00:24:07,917 Of course you are. That's why we get along. 394 00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:16,373 And I wish I could tell you to ignore Sass, but she's usually right. 395 00:24:17,124 --> 00:24:20,919 So, Sassy already told you about the... Of course. Girl talk. 396 00:24:21,586 --> 00:24:22,564 Girl talk. 397 00:24:22,587 --> 00:24:25,650 Mm-hmm. Hmm. 398 00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:28,218 So, is everything all right? 399 00:24:30,011 --> 00:24:30,989 Yeah, I'm good. 400 00:24:31,012 --> 00:24:32,138 Oklahoma? 401 00:24:40,314 --> 00:24:41,981 I'm a work in "progmess." 402 00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:49,072 Good night, Ted. 403 00:24:53,117 --> 00:24:54,327 You already won, you know? 404 00:24:56,913 --> 00:24:58,457 You got that turkey out of your life. 405 00:25:02,877 --> 00:25:03,878 Beat them. 406 00:25:07,215 --> 00:25:08,299 Good night, boss. 407 00:25:45,295 --> 00:25:47,297 Oh! 408 00:25:54,930 --> 00:25:56,865 Oi, do I look all right? 409 00:25:56,890 --> 00:25:58,576 Of course you do. Why? 410 00:25:58,599 --> 00:25:58,660 Well, if Jack actually shows up, 411 00:25:58,683 --> 00:25:59,993 Well, if Jack actually shows up, 412 00:26:00,018 --> 00:26:03,248 I want him to think that I look mysterious and powerful. 413 00:26:03,271 --> 00:26:04,665 Dynamic, you know? 414 00:26:04,690 --> 00:26:09,569 - All of that. - You are mysterious, powerful and dynamic. 415 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,156 Ooh. Shit, I'm nervous. 416 00:26:15,826 --> 00:26:17,827 I think I need to go and reapply my lip liner. 417 00:26:19,954 --> 00:26:21,789 - I'll see you upstairs in the suite. - Yep. 418 00:26:25,294 --> 00:26:27,020 Hey, Rebecca! 419 00:26:27,045 --> 00:26:29,589 - Rupert. - Wonderful to see you. 420 00:26:30,382 --> 00:26:33,218 - Bex. Love the new hair. - Hi. 421 00:26:33,801 --> 00:26:34,988 I haven't changed my hair. 422 00:26:35,011 --> 00:26:37,138 Nor should you. It's perfection. 423 00:26:38,557 --> 00:26:40,117 So, how's the little one? 424 00:26:40,142 --> 00:26:44,247 Oh, yeah, Diane. She's already walking. Can you believe that? 425 00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:47,166 Yeah. Drooling and pooing around the house. 426 00:26:47,191 --> 00:26:48,901 Takes after her father. 427 00:26:49,776 --> 00:26:54,089 Well. Hey, take it easy on us today. 428 00:26:54,114 --> 00:26:56,365 Aah. No promises. 429 00:27:08,252 --> 00:27:12,132 Oh, shit. 430 00:27:21,391 --> 00:27:22,451 Excuse me. 431 00:27:22,476 --> 00:27:24,978 I've got a bit of a situation here. 432 00:27:28,648 --> 00:27:31,817 Oh, thank you. But it's actually not that. 433 00:27:34,529 --> 00:27:36,508 You're a lifesaver! 434 00:27:36,531 --> 00:27:39,259 Usually I'm like clockwork, 435 00:27:39,284 --> 00:27:42,037 but because I've been so stressed, I've come on early. 436 00:27:43,454 --> 00:27:46,351 Oh, I'm so happy that it's a super and not a skinny. 437 00:27:46,375 --> 00:27:48,102 Who are those even for? 438 00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:52,256 It's not like my vagina is on a diet, I'm on my fucking period. 439 00:27:53,257 --> 00:27:54,858 Oi, thanks for helping me. 440 00:27:54,883 --> 00:27:56,361 And I love your shoes! 441 00:27:56,384 --> 00:27:58,028 Ah, yeah. Thanks. 442 00:27:58,052 --> 00:27:59,385 - Pay it forward. - Yeah. 443 00:27:59,410 --> 00:28:00,681 - Pay it forward. - Yeah. 444 00:28:05,894 --> 00:28:08,288 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Sorry. 445 00:28:08,313 --> 00:28:09,397 Excuse me. 446 00:28:11,775 --> 00:28:12,776 Hi. 447 00:28:14,778 --> 00:28:16,506 Boy, you're tall. 448 00:28:16,529 --> 00:28:19,008 Is your dad a tree or something? 449 00:28:19,031 --> 00:28:21,510 No, I'm screwing around. 450 00:28:21,535 --> 00:28:23,762 Hey, speaking of trees, who are y'all rooting for today? 451 00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:24,913 West Ham. 452 00:28:25,413 --> 00:28:28,000 Yeah, no, that makes sense. Yeah. 453 00:28:33,337 --> 00:28:36,276 Go ahead. Yeah. Going down one more floor. 454 00:28:36,299 --> 00:28:38,551 - Thank you. - Yeah, of course. 455 00:28:39,927 --> 00:28:41,096 Best of luck out there. 456 00:28:57,570 --> 00:28:59,155 Hey, Nate. That you? 457 00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:02,634 Oh. Hi. I didn't see you there. 458 00:29:02,659 --> 00:29:05,953 - Oh, that's okay. How you been, man? - Yeah, okay. 459 00:29:06,454 --> 00:29:08,457 Yeah. Good. Good. 460 00:29:14,296 --> 00:29:15,297 Listen, Ted. 461 00:29:16,298 --> 00:29:18,526 I... I just wanna say that... 462 00:29:18,549 --> 00:29:19,652 the way I left... 463 00:29:19,675 --> 00:29:22,971 Nathan. There you are. 464 00:29:24,263 --> 00:29:25,265 Yeah. 465 00:29:31,939 --> 00:29:33,397 Hey, Rupert. 466 00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:36,484 - Ted. - Nice to see you again. 467 00:29:37,152 --> 00:29:38,945 Good luck. 468 00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:46,804 - Keeley? Yeah. - She's absolutely fantastic. 469 00:29:46,827 --> 00:29:48,972 - Oh, here she is now. - Ah. 470 00:29:48,997 --> 00:29:52,559 - Hey. Hey. Yeah. - Um, Keeley? This is Jack Danvers. 471 00:29:52,584 --> 00:29:53,794 Hello. 472 00:29:55,002 --> 00:29:57,130 I believe you have something of mine. 473 00:29:59,383 --> 00:30:00,507 Oh, fuck. You're Jack? 474 00:30:00,530 --> 00:30:01,676 Oh, fuck. You're Jack? 475 00:30:02,970 --> 00:30:05,030 Ooh, this is a bit embarrassing. 476 00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:07,866 - No. - Yeah. We all thought you were a man. 477 00:30:07,891 --> 00:30:09,743 Yeah, that too. 478 00:30:09,768 --> 00:30:11,453 Oh, it's like that old riddle. 479 00:30:11,478 --> 00:30:13,914 - What riddle? - You know, always a tricky one, this one. 480 00:30:13,939 --> 00:30:15,541 A father and son are in a car wreck. 481 00:30:15,566 --> 00:30:19,378 Dad dies instantly, the son is rushed to an emergency room. 482 00:30:19,403 --> 00:30:21,422 A surgeon walks in and says, 483 00:30:21,445 --> 00:30:24,217 "I can't operate on this boy. He's my son." 484 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:25,759 How is it possible? 485 00:30:25,784 --> 00:30:28,096 - Because she's a woman. - She's gay. 486 00:30:28,119 --> 00:30:30,163 - Sperm donor. - He lives in a simulation? 487 00:30:30,830 --> 00:30:33,709 Right. Yeah, I guess that's a bit dated now. 488 00:30:34,292 --> 00:30:37,564 Um, so, I assume "Jack" is short for "Jacqueline," right? 489 00:30:37,587 --> 00:30:39,506 No. It's short for my father wanted a boy. 490 00:30:41,549 --> 00:30:45,697 I'm gonna go and sit down now, outside. Now. 491 00:30:45,721 --> 00:30:47,990 Jack, welcome. 492 00:30:48,015 --> 00:30:50,576 We are not allowed to take drinks to our seats. 493 00:30:50,601 --> 00:30:52,953 So if you want to get plastered, we should probably do that now. 494 00:30:52,978 --> 00:30:55,271 Mmm. Okay. 495 00:30:55,855 --> 00:30:57,566 Well, after you. 496 00:31:00,277 --> 00:31:03,070 Ah, you're so funny, Rebecca. 497 00:31:04,114 --> 00:31:07,241 Barbara's obsessed with Rebecca. 498 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,329 I hope she doesn't try and kill her and wear her skin as a suit. 499 00:31:15,917 --> 00:31:17,228 What the fuck? 500 00:31:17,251 --> 00:31:19,689 Cheers. It's gonna be a good day. 501 00:31:19,712 --> 00:31:21,757 - All right, Baz. - Oi! 502 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,093 This is a Richmond pub. 503 00:31:26,178 --> 00:31:27,804 It's all right, Mae. He's with me. 504 00:31:32,643 --> 00:31:34,228 Get the fuck out! 505 00:31:39,525 --> 00:31:40,835 Come on, Richmond! 506 00:31:40,858 --> 00:31:43,587 Come on, Richmond! Come on, Richmond! 507 00:31:43,612 --> 00:31:45,423 It's a full house for today's battle 508 00:31:45,447 --> 00:31:49,426 between West Ham United and Zava's AFC Richmond. 509 00:31:49,451 --> 00:31:53,096 A win would take either team to the top spot in the table, 510 00:31:53,121 --> 00:31:56,250 knocking mighty Manchester City off number one. 511 00:31:56,791 --> 00:31:58,936 Should be a tight match, Chris. Any predictions? 512 00:31:58,961 --> 00:31:59,019 I stopped making predictions, Arlo. 513 00:31:59,044 --> 00:32:00,814 I stopped making predictions, Arlo. 514 00:32:00,837 --> 00:32:02,231 Because I was never wrong. 515 00:32:02,256 --> 00:32:05,567 Got to the point I was worried I was the one making things happen. 516 00:32:05,592 --> 00:32:06,986 Well, that's interesting. 517 00:32:07,009 --> 00:32:08,153 I knew you'd say that. 518 00:32:08,178 --> 00:32:10,656 ♪ They fade and die ♪ 519 00:32:10,681 --> 00:32:14,743 ♪ Fortune's always hiding ♪ 520 00:32:14,768 --> 00:32:18,498 ♪ I've looked everywhere ♪ 521 00:32:18,521 --> 00:32:22,417 ♪ I'm forever blowing bubbles ♪ 522 00:32:22,442 --> 00:32:26,381 ♪ Pretty bubbles in the air ♪ 523 00:32:26,404 --> 00:32:29,092 United! United! 524 00:32:29,115 --> 00:32:32,135 United! United! 525 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,997 United! United! 526 00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:37,374 Uh, Nate. 527 00:32:39,209 --> 00:32:41,670 Let's have fun out there today, yeah? 528 00:33:06,694 --> 00:33:09,132 West Ham are quite happy to just soak up the pressure. 529 00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:12,634 Not taking any risks at all against Richmond, 530 00:33:12,659 --> 00:33:14,661 of all teams, at home. 531 00:33:15,412 --> 00:33:18,849 - A sign of how far Richmond have come. - It's all right. We're okay. 532 00:33:18,874 --> 00:33:20,434 What a threat Zava is. 533 00:33:20,459 --> 00:33:23,836 Richmond! To the right, to the right, to the right! Tight! Don't get scared. 534 00:33:27,715 --> 00:33:29,611 And it stays nil-nil, 535 00:33:29,634 --> 00:33:31,988 thanks to an amazing save by Zoreaux. 536 00:33:32,011 --> 00:33:34,199 - Van Damme. Van Damme. - Van Damme! 537 00:33:34,222 --> 00:33:36,159 I hear he wants to be called "Van Damme" now. 538 00:33:36,182 --> 00:33:37,076 Why? 539 00:33:37,101 --> 00:33:39,780 Well, we'd probably have to dive into his childhood for that answer. 540 00:33:40,854 --> 00:33:44,625 Richmond need the key pass to unlock the Hammers' defense. 541 00:33:44,650 --> 00:33:45,733 That could be the one. 542 00:33:47,402 --> 00:33:48,922 - Tartt hits the woodwork. - No! 543 00:33:48,945 --> 00:33:51,030 - That was close. - Zava was wide open. 544 00:33:54,284 --> 00:33:55,952 For Zava! 545 00:33:56,827 --> 00:34:00,769 - There'll be two more minutes in the first half of this scoreless, - There'll be two more minutes in the first half of this scoreless, 546 00:34:00,794 --> 00:34:02,917 But pulsating, London derby. 547 00:34:04,586 --> 00:34:07,440 - Obisanya caught in possession. - No. No, no, no. 548 00:34:07,463 --> 00:34:09,675 And here come West Ham on the break. 549 00:34:10,467 --> 00:34:12,385 Armando bearing down on goal. 550 00:34:14,387 --> 00:34:15,614 - Yeah! - Yes! 551 00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:18,242 And it's there. Right under Van Damme. 552 00:34:18,266 --> 00:34:21,204 The Canadian keeper apparently not as unstoppable 553 00:34:21,228 --> 00:34:23,081 as the Muscles from Brussels. 554 00:34:23,105 --> 00:34:25,958 That's not fair, Arlo. Nobody is. 555 00:34:25,983 --> 00:34:27,918 - We've been here before. Come on. - Come on, lads. 556 00:34:27,943 --> 00:34:31,487 The Hammers go up 1-nil just before halftime. 557 00:34:32,072 --> 00:34:34,007 Fuck it. 558 00:34:34,032 --> 00:34:37,077 All right, guys. Come on, now. Let's end this half strong! 559 00:34:38,327 --> 00:34:39,621 Huddle. 560 00:34:42,623 --> 00:34:43,958 What's this shit? 561 00:34:45,043 --> 00:34:46,103 - Hmm. - I don't know. 562 00:34:46,128 --> 00:34:48,856 - Lower. Lower. Move it right. Five. - Brilliant. Brilliant. 563 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,440 - Right now, come on. Five. - Ref, just blow the fucking whistle. 564 00:34:55,429 --> 00:34:56,530 West Ham pressing now. 565 00:34:56,554 --> 00:34:58,490 - No, no. - A new tactic from the Hammers 566 00:34:58,514 --> 00:34:58,574 in the closing seconds of the first half. 567 00:34:58,599 --> 00:35:00,617 In the closing seconds of the first half. 568 00:35:00,641 --> 00:35:02,561 It's never too late to change, Arlo. 569 00:35:04,938 --> 00:35:07,791 - No! - Fuck! Fuck you! Fuck! 570 00:35:07,815 --> 00:35:11,027 And it's 2-nil. Oh, deary me. 571 00:35:15,615 --> 00:35:16,617 Excuse me. 572 00:35:20,829 --> 00:35:22,206 How did that happen? 573 00:35:23,414 --> 00:35:25,518 We go to halftime. 574 00:35:25,541 --> 00:35:27,561 Richmond have dominated possession, 575 00:35:27,585 --> 00:35:31,733 but out of absolutely nowhere, it's 2-nil to the Hammers. 576 00:35:31,757 --> 00:35:33,610 We don't deserve that. 577 00:35:33,634 --> 00:35:35,527 What the fuck just happened? 578 00:35:35,552 --> 00:35:36,802 I... I d... I don't know. 579 00:35:39,681 --> 00:35:41,451 Hey, fellas. Uh, I'll be right back. Okay? 580 00:35:41,474 --> 00:35:42,744 The fuck are you going? 581 00:35:42,768 --> 00:35:45,704 - I'll just be a minute or two, okay? - What do we t-tell... tell the team? 582 00:35:45,728 --> 00:35:47,481 I don't know. Surprise me. 583 00:35:53,195 --> 00:35:55,465 Hey, boss. What you doing down here? 584 00:35:55,489 --> 00:35:58,635 I just wanted to tell you that I believe in you, Ted. 585 00:35:58,659 --> 00:35:59,802 Uh-huh? 586 00:35:59,826 --> 00:35:59,885 And I know that I've been putting an awful lot of pressure on you 587 00:35:59,909 --> 00:36:02,931 And I know that I've been putting an awful lot of pressure on you 588 00:36:02,954 --> 00:36:07,768 to win today, but I just... Just want you to forget all about that. 589 00:36:07,793 --> 00:36:11,588 Just... be yourself and have fun. 590 00:36:13,047 --> 00:36:14,025 - Okay. - Yeah. 591 00:36:14,048 --> 00:36:16,009 Okay. Well, thank you. 592 00:36:17,802 --> 00:36:19,554 I believe in you, Ted. 593 00:36:20,931 --> 00:36:23,016 And it's intense. 594 00:36:24,268 --> 00:36:26,394 - I better go. All right. - Off you pop. 595 00:36:28,896 --> 00:36:34,295 Remember, have fun! Whoo-hoo! 596 00:36:34,318 --> 00:36:37,882 Yes! This is so exciting! 597 00:36:37,905 --> 00:36:39,175 Whoo-hoo! 598 00:36:39,199 --> 00:36:40,701 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 599 00:36:43,286 --> 00:36:44,413 No. 600 00:36:52,838 --> 00:36:54,172 This is your surprise, huh? 601 00:36:54,715 --> 00:36:57,885 A minute ago, they were catatonic. Now look at them. 602 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:04,322 - They're killers. - Frankly, Ted, sometimes that's good. - They're killers. - Frankly, Ted, sometimes that's good. 603 00:37:18,989 --> 00:37:21,175 Oh, my. Richmond coming out of the tunnel 604 00:37:21,199 --> 00:37:23,452 with a palpable chip on their shoulder. 605 00:37:24,036 --> 00:37:28,182 Wow. A real tension on the pitch. I think we're in for an exciting half. 606 00:37:28,206 --> 00:37:31,311 We begin the second half with Richmond looking for a strong start. 607 00:37:31,335 --> 00:37:33,563 - Come on, boys. Fucking kill 'em. - Fucking kill 'em. 608 00:37:33,586 --> 00:37:34,963 - Here we go. Here we go! - Kill! 609 00:37:37,757 --> 00:37:40,027 - Ooh. That's an awful tackle. - Oh. 610 00:37:40,052 --> 00:37:41,820 - He would be fortunate to escape... - Oh, fuck. 611 00:37:41,844 --> 00:37:43,155 With just a yellow. 612 00:37:43,179 --> 00:37:45,074 It's a deserved red, and Richmond 613 00:37:45,097 --> 00:37:48,393 will play almost the entire second half with ten men. 614 00:37:49,686 --> 00:37:51,730 He's actually a very sweet young man. 615 00:37:53,273 --> 00:37:55,335 Here come West Ham. 616 00:37:55,358 --> 00:37:56,860 Aw. 617 00:37:58,362 --> 00:37:58,420 And now Van Damme has been sent off. 618 00:37:58,445 --> 00:38:00,172 And now Van Damme has been sent off. 619 00:38:00,197 --> 00:38:02,782 - We're playing like Italians. - I know. 620 00:38:03,534 --> 00:38:04,534 It's awesome. 621 00:38:07,329 --> 00:38:08,914 Oh, dear. 622 00:38:20,592 --> 00:38:22,820 It's getting a touch spicy out there. 623 00:38:22,844 --> 00:38:26,139 Spicy, Arlo? This is vintage vindaloo. 624 00:38:28,474 --> 00:38:29,474 No. 625 00:38:41,195 --> 00:38:45,784 Oh, Montlaur has lost his mind, and Richmond have lost a third player. 626 00:38:46,827 --> 00:38:48,661 Om. 627 00:38:53,583 --> 00:38:55,186 Oof. 628 00:38:55,210 --> 00:38:57,003 Fucking come on. 629 00:38:57,588 --> 00:39:00,867 - Richmond have completely lost the plot. - Richmond have completely lost the plot. 630 00:39:01,507 --> 00:39:05,137 Zava must be wondering what he's done to deserve this. 631 00:39:10,516 --> 00:39:12,036 Yes! 632 00:39:12,059 --> 00:39:14,079 And it's 4-1 to the Hammers. 633 00:39:14,103 --> 00:39:17,000 It went from evenly matched to unevenly matched 634 00:39:17,023 --> 00:39:21,045 to light a match on fire and put it into a can of petrol. 635 00:39:21,068 --> 00:39:23,463 That second half should've come with a trigger warning. 636 00:39:23,487 --> 00:39:27,802 One extraordinary goal by Zava did not make it any less tough to watch. 637 00:39:27,826 --> 00:39:31,472 Richmond showed a side of themselves we've never seen before. 638 00:39:31,496 --> 00:39:34,057 They played angry, dirty and ugly. 639 00:39:34,081 --> 00:39:37,126 Which are also the names of Zava's three youngest kids. 640 00:39:37,753 --> 00:39:39,213 Shit. 641 00:39:41,797 --> 00:39:42,798 Shit. 642 00:39:44,092 --> 00:39:45,110 Shit. 643 00:39:45,135 --> 00:39:47,262 - Hey, it's okay. - Shit. 644 00:39:52,059 --> 00:39:53,286 Did you guys have fun? 645 00:39:53,309 --> 00:39:54,369 Yeah. 646 00:39:54,393 --> 00:39:57,438 The violence was quite entertaining, wasn't it? In a way. 647 00:40:05,112 --> 00:40:07,324 Sending off Van Damme was a mistake. 648 00:40:08,032 --> 00:40:09,326 He played with passion. 649 00:40:10,536 --> 00:40:13,079 "Passion" is a word we use when we talk about love. 650 00:40:14,706 --> 00:40:17,960 It is also a word we use to describe a crime. 651 00:40:19,670 --> 00:40:21,213 Sometimes it is also a fruit. 652 00:40:25,759 --> 00:40:27,094 Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry. 653 00:40:48,782 --> 00:40:51,344 - We fucked up. - We overcorrected and played with hate. 654 00:40:51,367 --> 00:40:52,452 Mmm. 655 00:40:54,161 --> 00:40:56,956 - Be great if you yelled at us a bit. - Please. 656 00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:02,349 - Call us pieces of shit or something. - Now. - Call us pieces of shit or something. - Now. 657 00:41:02,670 --> 00:41:03,856 You can hit us. 658 00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:05,132 Get it over with. 659 00:41:06,967 --> 00:41:09,010 Tried something new. It didn't work. Big whoop. 660 00:41:11,387 --> 00:41:13,431 I will take that thumb drive one of y'all's got. 661 00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:25,318 Shake it off, fellas. Lot of football left this season. 662 00:41:29,322 --> 00:41:31,467 - What a fucking arsehole. - I know. 663 00:41:31,490 --> 00:41:34,429 You have to feel pretty good about yourself after that win, yeah? 664 00:41:34,452 --> 00:41:36,764 Well, yeah. Uh, Richmond were clearly rattled. 665 00:41:36,788 --> 00:41:40,268 Um, it was easier than I expected, if I'm honest. 666 00:41:40,291 --> 00:41:41,351 What about Ted? 667 00:41:41,376 --> 00:41:44,253 Quite a snub not to shake his hand at the end of the game. 668 00:41:45,463 --> 00:41:48,818 Did I not? I... I didn't mean to. 669 00:41:48,842 --> 00:41:52,530 I... Guess I just got caught up in the excitement of it all. 670 00:41:52,554 --> 00:41:54,347 Yeah. 671 00:41:55,139 --> 00:41:56,300 Excuse me a minute. I just... 672 00:42:08,570 --> 00:42:11,322 Coach Shelley, Mr. Mannion asked me to give you this. 673 00:42:13,157 --> 00:42:14,701 He'll meet you there in an hour. 674 00:42:16,202 --> 00:42:18,371 Oh. Thank... 675 00:42:36,389 --> 00:42:38,992 - It's so good to see you, Rebecca. - You too, Bex. 676 00:42:39,016 --> 00:42:40,954 Oh, Rebecca, my dear. 677 00:42:40,978 --> 00:42:44,706 - So sorry for your loss. - Thank you. 678 00:42:44,731 --> 00:42:47,150 Come on, old man. It's way past your bedtime. 679 00:42:51,405 --> 00:42:53,114 Lovely to see you. 680 00:42:53,699 --> 00:42:55,284 I saw you with your assistant. 681 00:42:56,659 --> 00:42:58,911 Your daughter deserves better, and so does Bex. 682 00:42:59,996 --> 00:43:01,757 - Stop fucking around. - Stop fucking around. 683 00:43:10,007 --> 00:43:11,818 Here you go. 684 00:43:11,842 --> 00:43:14,987 We are normally a lot better than that. And nicer. 685 00:43:15,012 --> 00:43:19,784 Well, it's never great when your team gets more red cards than goals, is it? 686 00:43:19,807 --> 00:43:21,619 No. 687 00:43:21,643 --> 00:43:24,563 What a shit show. 688 00:43:25,856 --> 00:43:28,001 Anyway, good news. Bantr's trending. 689 00:43:28,025 --> 00:43:29,126 - It is? - Yeah. 690 00:43:29,150 --> 00:43:32,153 Pretty sure the change to the bio line helped. 691 00:43:32,695 --> 00:43:33,947 What are you talking about? 692 00:43:38,367 --> 00:43:39,596 Who did this? 693 00:43:39,619 --> 00:43:42,931 I did. This afternoon, when I uploaded the vids. 694 00:43:42,956 --> 00:43:44,833 You're welcome. 695 00:43:46,335 --> 00:43:47,628 - Shandy. - Yeah. 696 00:43:49,213 --> 00:43:53,610 This... This is the opposite of what Bantr is trying to do. 697 00:43:53,634 --> 00:43:55,945 Are you joking? They're gonna love it. 698 00:43:55,969 --> 00:43:58,554 I've literally tripled their subscribers in an hour. 699 00:43:59,764 --> 00:44:01,514 You need to change this back, now. Please. 700 00:44:01,539 --> 00:44:03,226 You need to change this back, now. Please. 701 00:44:04,393 --> 00:44:05,394 Yeah. 702 00:44:07,481 --> 00:44:09,440 It was really lovely to meet you. 703 00:44:10,192 --> 00:44:12,485 - You too. - Excuse me. 704 00:44:18,282 --> 00:44:21,887 Hey. Here he is! 705 00:44:21,911 --> 00:44:24,456 The Wonder Kid himself. 706 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,894 The man of the hour! 707 00:44:28,918 --> 00:44:31,356 Aw. Thank you very much, Mr. Mannion. 708 00:44:31,380 --> 00:44:34,317 Please, no. "Rupert." 709 00:44:34,340 --> 00:44:36,485 - Oh. - Nathan. 710 00:44:36,510 --> 00:44:39,197 Oh. Thanks, Ms. Kakes. That's... 711 00:44:39,221 --> 00:44:43,641 And, uh, Nathan, allow me to introduce Anastasia. 712 00:44:45,184 --> 00:44:46,186 Huge fan. 713 00:44:49,438 --> 00:44:50,791 Oh, my God. You're famous. 714 00:44:50,815 --> 00:44:52,233 So are you. 715 00:44:57,989 --> 00:44:59,740 Congratulations to your victory. 716 00:45:00,449 --> 00:45:01,994 Oh, yeah. Thank you. 717 00:45:04,871 --> 00:45:05,873 Mmm. 718 00:45:10,460 --> 00:45:12,503 Come on, Tartt! One more before dinner! 719 00:45:14,755 --> 00:45:17,467 Let's go, Coach. 720 00:45:22,972 --> 00:45:24,492 That was hard to watch. 721 00:45:24,516 --> 00:45:28,413 Thierry, West Ham's domination today saw Ted Lasso being totally exposed 722 00:45:28,436 --> 00:45:30,498 by his former assistant Nate Shelley. 723 00:45:30,521 --> 00:45:33,918 Gary, I love this quote from a Chinese philosopher, Laozi, 724 00:45:33,942 --> 00:45:36,588 "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. 725 00:45:36,612 --> 00:45:40,132 When the student is truly ready, the teacher will disappear." 726 00:45:40,157 --> 00:45:41,240 The Greyhounds... 727 00:46:10,853 --> 00:46:12,021 - Hi, Ted. - Hey. 728 00:46:12,606 --> 00:46:13,625 Sorry about the match. 729 00:46:13,648 --> 00:46:16,126 No, no. That's all right. It was a tough one. 730 00:46:16,150 --> 00:46:18,295 Henry's not here right now. He's at a birthday party, 731 00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:19,380 - but I'll... - No, that's okay. 732 00:46:19,403 --> 00:46:22,990 I w... I was actually hoping just to chat with you. You... You... You got a minute? 733 00:46:23,659 --> 00:46:25,719 Sure. Is everything okay? 734 00:46:25,744 --> 00:46:30,016 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh... Well, uh... No. 735 00:46:30,039 --> 00:46:31,583 You know, I... I just, um... 736 00:46:33,001 --> 00:46:35,586 I wanted to say something real quick. Um... 737 00:46:37,630 --> 00:46:39,215 Look, I, uh... 738 00:46:39,715 --> 00:46:44,054 I know that you and I aren't, you know, together anymore. 739 00:46:44,596 --> 00:46:45,907 A-And... And I respect that. 740 00:46:45,931 --> 00:46:48,976 Okay? I... I do. Um... 741 00:46:52,938 --> 00:46:55,625 But, um... Well, uh, you know, 742 00:46:55,648 --> 00:46:59,152 this whole thing with you and Dr. Jacob really ticks me off. 743 00:47:01,028 --> 00:47:04,300 And I'm upset that we didn't ever really get to talk about it 744 00:47:04,324 --> 00:47:06,159 before it all started. 745 00:47:07,911 --> 00:47:08,887 Yeah. 746 00:47:08,911 --> 00:47:13,601 A-And l-look, I understand that m-me saying all this, 747 00:47:13,625 --> 00:47:17,128 uh, might be the wrong thing to do, but... 748 00:47:19,338 --> 00:47:22,925 I just feel like not saying it... 749 00:47:26,346 --> 00:47:28,056 i-i-isn't the, um... 750 00:47:29,974 --> 00:47:31,614 Well, wouldn't be the right thing either. 751 00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:37,773 'Cause we gotta raise this little boy together, you know? 752 00:47:40,110 --> 00:47:42,570 We're stuck with each other. We're gonna share grandkids. 753 00:47:49,202 --> 00:47:50,786 I love you, Michelle. 754 00:47:53,623 --> 00:47:54,958 And I love Henry. 755 00:47:59,838 --> 00:48:01,757 - And I love our family. - And I love our family. 756 00:48:03,759 --> 00:48:05,177 No matter what it looks like. 757 00:48:12,184 --> 00:48:13,184 Okay? 758 00:48:16,230 --> 00:48:17,231 Of course. 759 00:48:21,818 --> 00:48:24,195 Well, uh, I'll talk to y'all soon. 760 00:48:25,155 --> 00:48:27,740 Have a good night. Tell... Tell Henry I love him. 761 00:48:28,574 --> 00:48:29,617 Good night, Ted.