1 00:00:25,902 --> 00:00:26,987 Fucking hell. 2 00:00:29,906 --> 00:00:31,198 All right, let's go. 3 00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:32,615 It's 4:00 a.m. 4 00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,743 Yeah. We start at 4:00 a.m. 5 00:00:34,744 --> 00:00:35,953 I thought you were joking. 6 00:00:35,954 --> 00:00:37,204 How is that a joke? 7 00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:38,623 'Cause it's 4:00 a.m. 8 00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:42,878 We start at 4:00, so you can do three workouts a day instead of two. 9 00:00:43,879 --> 00:00:46,339 Okay, but it's 4:00 a.m. 10 00:00:46,923 --> 00:00:48,633 Do you wanna be better than Zava or not? 11 00:00:50,719 --> 00:00:52,762 Well, how are we gonna see? It's dark out. 12 00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:56,474 Fucking hell. 13 00:00:56,975 --> 00:00:59,603 Now get dressed. Or I start flicking your balls. 14 00:01:00,854 --> 00:01:01,897 This is perverse. 15 00:01:34,763 --> 00:01:35,764 Whoops. 16 00:01:51,446 --> 00:01:52,572 There you go. 17 00:02:06,336 --> 00:02:07,712 Good morning, Sassy Smurf. 18 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,216 Good morning, Marlboro Man. 19 00:02:12,050 --> 00:02:14,261 You know, you snored all night. 20 00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,221 I'm sorry about that. 21 00:02:16,721 --> 00:02:18,806 That's all right. It's actually very soothing. 22 00:02:18,807 --> 00:02:20,099 Sounded like the sea. 23 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:22,810 Well, I'm glad you didn't hear any boat horns, 24 00:02:22,811 --> 00:02:25,647 given all the fried yams I ate last night. 25 00:02:30,986 --> 00:02:34,488 Hey, I was thinking. We have a good time together, yeah? 26 00:02:34,489 --> 00:02:37,200 They're called simultaneous orgasms, Ted, yes. 27 00:02:37,909 --> 00:02:39,785 Yeah, well, but I mean 28 00:02:39,786 --> 00:02:43,289 also all the talking and laughing and all that stuff. Yeah? 29 00:02:43,290 --> 00:02:46,543 Sure. Well, apart from all your dreadful puns. 30 00:02:47,419 --> 00:02:48,794 Right. Well, it's tough. 31 00:02:48,795 --> 00:02:51,840 Sometimes I just see 'em there, and I gotta take a swing at 'em, you know? 32 00:02:52,924 --> 00:02:55,677 No, I... Well, what I'm getting at is... 33 00:02:58,305 --> 00:02:59,973 Well, I was just thinking maybe... 34 00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:03,351 we could go on an actual date sometime. 35 00:03:04,144 --> 00:03:05,812 You know? You and me, together. 36 00:03:07,647 --> 00:03:08,857 God, no. 37 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,484 Well, I appreciate you taking the time to consider it. 38 00:03:12,485 --> 00:03:14,778 Ted, we can't date. 39 00:03:14,779 --> 00:03:15,780 Why not? 40 00:03:16,573 --> 00:03:19,117 - You're a mess. - I'm a mess? 41 00:03:19,701 --> 00:03:20,743 Course you are. 42 00:03:20,744 --> 00:03:24,204 I'm a mess too, but I'm a mess three years further on than you, 43 00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:26,624 so I'm more of a slight disarray. 44 00:03:26,625 --> 00:03:28,834 More like a slight disarray of sunshine, if you ask me. 45 00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:30,252 Oh, God. 46 00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:33,881 - Sorry. - Ted, on the day my ex got remarried, 47 00:03:33,882 --> 00:03:36,718 I drank a bottle of red wine through a straw 48 00:03:37,469 --> 00:03:39,929 and told my Uber driver I was in love with him. 49 00:03:39,930 --> 00:03:43,724 Then, when he dropped me home, I puked so much, 50 00:03:43,725 --> 00:03:46,811 my mouth was like an elevator from the goddamn Shining. 51 00:03:47,479 --> 00:03:49,688 Knocked my rating down to a 3.9. 52 00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:50,982 3.9? 53 00:03:52,025 --> 00:03:54,194 Fuck you. Why? What's yours? 54 00:03:55,862 --> 00:03:58,240 Oh, God, you're a five, aren't you? 55 00:03:59,199 --> 00:04:01,785 - Course you're a five. How the fuck are you a five? - Course you're a five. How the fuck are you a five? 56 00:04:01,788 --> 00:04:04,745 I don't know. I'm tidy. I say "Please" and "Thank you." 57 00:04:04,746 --> 00:04:06,831 Sometimes I offer to drive if they look tired. 58 00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,460 You are such a mess. 59 00:04:13,713 --> 00:04:16,423 Ted, I like our status. 60 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:22,055 Friends with benefits, like Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. 61 00:04:22,639 --> 00:04:25,266 No. I think you're thinking of 2011's other 62 00:04:25,267 --> 00:04:27,435 good-friends-turned-casual-lovers based rom-com. 63 00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:30,980 No Strings Attached. 64 00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:34,693 Friends with Benefits was Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. 65 00:04:35,277 --> 00:04:38,279 Wow. 2011, friends be fuckin'. 66 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:39,405 Yeah. 67 00:04:39,406 --> 00:04:42,492 So, let's keep things 2011. Cool and breezy. 68 00:04:42,993 --> 00:04:44,369 Like an Arab Spring. 69 00:04:49,249 --> 00:04:51,167 And good luck against West Ham this weekend. 70 00:04:51,793 --> 00:04:52,793 Fuck Rupert 71 00:04:52,794 --> 00:04:56,089 and that shriveled raisin-pouch he calls a nutsack. 72 00:05:11,855 --> 00:05:13,188 Hello! Here for Flo? 73 00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:14,983 - You can jump in, love. - Lovely, thank you. 74 00:05:16,109 --> 00:05:18,861 This is nice. Gray seats? Yes, please. 75 00:05:18,862 --> 00:05:20,905 West Ham. This is the real opportunity 76 00:05:20,906 --> 00:05:22,615 for the Wonder Kid to become the Wonder Man... 77 00:05:22,616 --> 00:05:24,117 101. 78 00:05:25,452 --> 00:05:26,453 100. 79 00:05:26,953 --> 00:05:29,039 Ninety-nine. 80 00:05:33,585 --> 00:05:35,170 Why do you only sleep with a top on? 81 00:05:36,922 --> 00:05:39,049 Because I get cold upstairs and hot downstairs. 82 00:05:40,175 --> 00:05:41,176 I get that. 83 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:45,764 Mornin'. 84 00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:10,162 Listen to what Rupert said in this one. 85 00:06:10,163 --> 00:06:14,083 "I truly look forward to seeing my old club again. 86 00:06:14,084 --> 00:06:16,378 Richmond are top-class." 87 00:06:16,962 --> 00:06:19,631 - What a soggy, wet piece of shit. - Thank you. 88 00:06:20,924 --> 00:06:24,844 Right, I'm off to the training ground. Thanks again for the opportunity. 89 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,888 Babe, you earned it. 90 00:06:27,889 --> 00:06:31,100 {\an8}Shandy came up with this super fun Bantr promo. 91 00:06:31,101 --> 00:06:33,227 {\an8}It uses all the single players on the team. 92 00:06:33,228 --> 00:06:34,478 {\an8}Yeah. 93 00:06:34,479 --> 00:06:38,567 {\an8}The anonymous man you're Bantr-ing with could be a professional footballer. 94 00:06:40,026 --> 00:06:41,860 {\an8}That's great. 95 00:06:41,861 --> 00:06:44,655 {\an8}And that's all the single players, you say? 96 00:06:44,656 --> 00:06:48,742 {\an8}So, it's, like, Colin and Dani and Sam, et cetera? 97 00:06:48,743 --> 00:06:50,996 {\an8}Yeah, although I don't think Sam's doing it anymore. 98 00:06:51,955 --> 00:06:54,416 - No. - So fun. 99 00:06:56,251 --> 00:06:58,210 - Ms. Jones. - Hello, Barbara. 100 00:06:58,211 --> 00:07:00,171 - All right there, Barbs? - It's "Barbara." 101 00:06:58,295 --> 00:07:00,171 - All right there, Barbs? - It's "Barbara." 102 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:04,967 {\an8}If possible, could I get two tickets for the Richmond-West Ham match? 103 00:07:04,968 --> 00:07:07,094 {\an8}Jack might be coming to London this weekend. 104 00:07:07,095 --> 00:07:08,346 Of course. 105 00:07:09,806 --> 00:07:10,807 Who's Jack? 106 00:07:12,726 --> 00:07:13,726 Jack Danvers. 107 00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:18,148 {\an8}The head of the VC that funded your company. 108 00:07:19,274 --> 00:07:20,734 {\an8}Our boss. 109 00:07:23,361 --> 00:07:27,073 {\an8}Yes. That Jack. Of course. 110 00:07:28,283 --> 00:07:29,951 {\an8}That's not a problem, Barbara. 111 00:07:30,702 --> 00:07:32,746 {\an8}I can let you have some seats in my suite. 112 00:07:34,539 --> 00:07:35,539 {\an8}Lovely. 113 00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:38,793 {\an8}Thank you so much, Rebecca. That's so kind of you and so efficient. 114 00:07:41,463 --> 00:07:42,463 {\an8}Keeley. 115 00:07:44,883 --> 00:07:46,343 {\an8}Thanks, Barbara. 116 00:07:48,803 --> 00:07:52,973 {\an8}So, the one thing we cannot do against West Ham is the False Nine. 117 00:07:52,974 --> 00:07:54,934 {\an8}- 'Cause that's Nate's shit. - Exactly. 118 00:07:54,935 --> 00:07:57,311 {\an8}So, we decided to go with our classic 4-4-2. 119 00:07:57,312 --> 00:07:59,563 {\an8}Which is exactly what that prick expects us to do. 120 00:07:59,564 --> 00:08:02,442 {\an8}So, we do the opposite. Five up front. Full-on attack. 121 00:07:59,648 --> 00:08:02,441 {\an8}So, we do the opposite. Five up front. Full-on attack. 122 00:08:02,442 --> 00:08:05,986 {\an8}But Nate knows we're gonna do that, 123 00:08:05,987 --> 00:08:10,033 {\an8}because Nate knows that we're trying to outthink him by thinking like him. 124 00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:14,828 {\an8}Well, fuck Nate, fuck thinking and fuck fucking Socrates. 125 00:08:14,829 --> 00:08:17,164 {\an8}So, we gotta stop thinking like Nate and start thinking 126 00:08:17,165 --> 00:08:19,959 {\an8}like Nate would think we would think if Nate were thinking like us, 127 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,127 {\an8}and then do the last thing that Nate thinking like us 128 00:08:22,128 --> 00:08:25,215 {\an8}thinking like Nate thinking like us would ever expect us to do. 129 00:08:26,132 --> 00:08:30,719 {\an8}Have Zava drop back and play Nate's False Nine. 130 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:32,013 {\an8}Voi-fucking-là. 131 00:08:33,139 --> 00:08:34,264 {\an8}Brilliant. 132 00:08:34,265 --> 00:08:36,517 {\an8}- It's mostly Beard's idea. - Nah, it was a group effort. 133 00:08:36,518 --> 00:08:37,643 {\an8}I do have one question. 134 00:08:37,644 --> 00:08:39,020 {\an8}- Of course. - Who fucking cares? 135 00:08:40,313 --> 00:08:41,856 {\an8}Do you think Zava'll do it? 136 00:08:48,780 --> 00:08:49,906 Fuck! 137 00:08:51,616 --> 00:08:53,201 - Good mornin'. - Hey. 138 00:08:55,161 --> 00:08:57,913 - Uh-oh, what's wrong? - Roy doesn't think we can beat Nate. 139 00:08:57,914 --> 00:09:01,710 - Higgins doesn't think so either! - Beard said it to me first. 140 00:08:57,998 --> 00:09:01,709 - Higgins doesn't think so either! - Beard said it to me first. 141 00:09:01,710 --> 00:09:04,837 - You throw me under the bus? How dare... - You walked in here this morning... 142 00:09:04,838 --> 00:09:08,299 {\an8}- You're gonna sell me out? - Whoa! Whoa. 143 00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:11,135 {\an8}Y'all pointin' more fingers than Ganesha givin' directions. 144 00:09:11,136 --> 00:09:14,639 {\an8}Now look, you fellas need to calm down and just kiss. 145 00:09:17,267 --> 00:09:18,268 {\an8}He's right. 146 00:09:20,395 --> 00:09:21,730 {\an8}Keep it simple, smartypants. 147 00:09:22,522 --> 00:09:24,482 {\an8}An answer will show up. Don't worry. 148 00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:29,446 {\an8}But until it does, here's a question for y'all: Am I a mess? 149 00:09:32,365 --> 00:09:34,951 {\an8}Sassy ended up spending the night last night and... 150 00:09:35,535 --> 00:09:38,329 {\an8}No, hush your butts. That ain't the headline. 151 00:09:38,330 --> 00:09:40,497 {\an8}Well, I asked her out on a proper date this morning. 152 00:09:40,498 --> 00:09:44,711 {\an8}She turned me down cold. She said I was... And I quote... "a mess." 153 00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:51,425 {\an8}- Yeah. - Sounds like a case for the Diamond Dogs! 154 00:09:51,426 --> 00:09:52,885 Release the hounds. 155 00:09:52,886 --> 00:09:55,096 Yeah, here we go! Let's do it. 156 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,936 - Fuck's sakes. - Fuck's sakes. 157 00:10:05,941 --> 00:10:06,941 Yes. 158 00:10:07,859 --> 00:10:09,693 - "Yes" what? - Yes, you're a mess. 159 00:10:09,694 --> 00:10:11,528 Okay. Expound. 160 00:10:11,529 --> 00:10:12,738 {\an8}We're playing Nate this week, 161 00:10:12,739 --> 00:10:14,419 {\an8}and you're acting like it's not a big deal. 162 00:10:15,242 --> 00:10:16,909 {\an8}Nothing's different. He didn't hurt you. 163 00:10:16,910 --> 00:10:18,869 {\an8}Hey, look, we ain't talking about Nate right now. 164 00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:21,956 {\an8}I'm asking you if you think I'm a mess. All right? 165 00:10:21,957 --> 00:10:23,123 {\an8}Higgy pie, what do you think? 166 00:10:23,124 --> 00:10:26,962 {\an8}I think I don't understand how you're not pissed off with Nate. 167 00:10:28,338 --> 00:10:30,756 We have a saying in Co-Dependents Anonymous. 168 00:10:30,757 --> 00:10:33,552 - Y... What? - Jane makes me go with her. 169 00:10:34,135 --> 00:10:35,386 Yeah. 170 00:10:35,387 --> 00:10:36,930 {\an8}Pain is like carbon monoxide. 171 00:10:37,472 --> 00:10:40,933 {\an8}Expressing it to the person who hurt you is like opening a vent, 172 00:10:40,934 --> 00:10:43,228 {\an8}but holding it in will poison you. 173 00:10:44,187 --> 00:10:46,814 {\an8}I like that. But Nate didn't hurt me. 174 00:10:46,815 --> 00:10:47,983 Bullshit! 175 00:10:49,818 --> 00:10:52,111 Roy, did you wanna get in on this Diamond Dog situation? 176 00:10:52,112 --> 00:10:54,780 - Hey, Roy! Hey, Roy. - Hey, Roy. Here, Roy. 177 00:10:54,781 --> 00:10:56,949 Here, Roy. Come here, Roy. 178 00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:58,993 La, la, la, la, la! 179 00:10:58,994 --> 00:11:03,039 {\an8}So, the match of the week is clearly Richmond and West Ham. 180 00:10:59,077 --> 00:11:03,038 {\an8}So, the match of the week is clearly Richmond and West Ham. 181 00:11:03,039 --> 00:11:05,833 Now, it's been a strong start to the season for both of these teams, 182 00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:09,044 but I think the Hammers are favorites, going into the London derby, 183 00:11:09,045 --> 00:11:13,133 based on the tactical acumen of the Wonder Kid, Nathan Shelley. 184 00:11:14,676 --> 00:11:17,303 Yeah, Shelley is brilliant, there's no doubt about that, 185 00:11:17,304 --> 00:11:20,931 but Zava, he is a genius. I like the Greyhounds for this one. 186 00:11:20,932 --> 00:11:22,308 That's my guy! 187 00:11:22,309 --> 00:11:24,269 No, you can't have him. He's mine. 188 00:11:26,688 --> 00:11:29,106 - Let's move on, shall we, to Sunday's... - Hey, look. Guys, guys. 189 00:11:29,107 --> 00:11:30,275 Who cares, right? 190 00:11:31,568 --> 00:11:33,361 Now come on, we've got work to do. Let's go. 191 00:11:34,195 --> 00:11:35,363 He is correct. 192 00:11:38,033 --> 00:11:42,662 We must ignore these talking faces. Even when they are in our favor. 193 00:11:43,204 --> 00:11:44,706 Thank you, "Zorro." 194 00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:48,293 Exactly, but it's actually pronounced "Zoreaux." 195 00:11:51,838 --> 00:11:52,839 Why? 196 00:11:54,966 --> 00:11:57,510 I don't know. Because that's how my parents say it, I guess? 197 00:11:59,179 --> 00:12:01,640 My friend, you can be whoever you want to be. 198 00:12:01,641 --> 00:12:04,100 My friend, you can be whoever you want to be. 199 00:12:05,518 --> 00:12:09,731 I let all of my children name themselves once they reach the age of seven. 200 00:12:11,524 --> 00:12:14,027 That is why my eldest is called "Smingus Dingus." 201 00:12:16,112 --> 00:12:19,366 Dream big, and you may never wake up. 202 00:12:23,453 --> 00:12:25,037 Thank you. 203 00:12:25,038 --> 00:12:26,455 Jesus. 204 00:12:26,456 --> 00:12:30,668 I can't believe I'm about to say this, but hey, lads, I agree with Zava. 205 00:12:30,669 --> 00:12:33,796 Yes, it's a big fucking game, but we've just gotta focus, do what we do, 206 00:12:33,797 --> 00:12:35,506 - do you know what I mean? - Yeah. He's right. 207 00:12:35,507 --> 00:12:36,716 And don't forget, yeah? 208 00:12:40,804 --> 00:12:44,015 - Believe in "Believe." - Yes. 209 00:12:45,058 --> 00:12:46,058 What the... 210 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:47,811 What? 211 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:49,938 - Oh, shit. - What? 212 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,653 - Why the fuck did you do that? - I was just checking 213 00:12:57,654 --> 00:12:59,614 if I acquired the ability to chop things in half. 214 00:13:00,115 --> 00:13:01,155 Yeah, and what if you had? 215 00:13:02,993 --> 00:13:04,786 Sorry, bruv. I didn't think it through. 216 00:13:06,830 --> 00:13:09,915 Fellas. Someone ripped this in half. 217 00:13:09,916 --> 00:13:11,459 What the fuck? What? 218 00:13:12,335 --> 00:13:13,336 What the fuck? 219 00:13:14,129 --> 00:13:15,297 You're joking 220 00:13:18,425 --> 00:13:19,426 What the fuck? 221 00:13:42,991 --> 00:13:43,992 Hello... 222 00:13:44,784 --> 00:13:46,036 Jade. 223 00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:49,581 Nathan. 224 00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:52,584 Shelley. 225 00:13:54,586 --> 00:13:56,045 Lovely to see you again. 226 00:13:56,046 --> 00:13:57,339 Okay. 227 00:13:58,924 --> 00:14:01,569 - Sorry I've not been around much. - Sorry I've not been around much. 228 00:14:01,593 --> 00:14:02,718 You haven't? 229 00:14:02,719 --> 00:14:06,764 No. No, I've been really busy with my new job. 230 00:14:06,765 --> 00:14:11,519 Big new job just keeping me very busy. 231 00:14:12,103 --> 00:14:15,148 Sounds silly. Maybe you should quit your big new busy job. 232 00:14:17,525 --> 00:14:19,735 Anyway, just here to pick up my takeaway. 233 00:14:19,736 --> 00:14:21,987 I bought lunch for my whole staff. 234 00:14:21,988 --> 00:14:24,115 Apart from the trainers, 'cause they eat like cows. 235 00:14:25,492 --> 00:14:28,202 Sorry, that sounds... No, they're love... I mean, they're lovely people. 236 00:14:28,203 --> 00:14:29,537 They're just vegetarians. 237 00:14:34,251 --> 00:14:35,794 No way. 238 00:14:36,545 --> 00:14:41,007 Look who's here. No fucking way! 239 00:14:41,591 --> 00:14:43,884 - Do you know who this is? - Jason Jelly. 240 00:14:43,885 --> 00:14:45,928 - That's right. - No, "Nathan Shelley." 241 00:14:45,929 --> 00:14:47,930 That's right, Nathan Shelley, 242 00:14:47,931 --> 00:14:50,934 manager of West Ham United, in my restaurant! 243 00:14:52,352 --> 00:14:53,811 - Big week, my guy. - Yep. 244 00:14:53,812 --> 00:14:57,857 Big fucking week. I'm Derek. I'm the manager here. 245 00:14:58,483 --> 00:15:01,043 - Anything you need, you got it. - Anything you need, you got it. 246 00:15:01,069 --> 00:15:03,613 - Okay. - From one manager to another. 247 00:15:04,114 --> 00:15:05,907 Yeah, well, it's not quite the same, but... 248 00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:08,535 Facing your team this week. 249 00:15:09,077 --> 00:15:10,453 That's gotta be hard-core, right? 250 00:15:11,413 --> 00:15:13,872 I mean, you talked a lot of shit about them in the press. 251 00:15:13,873 --> 00:15:17,836 - Didn't ya? I loved it. - Sorry, can I pay? 252 00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:24,633 No. This is on me, okay? On me. Understand? 253 00:15:24,634 --> 00:15:27,137 This man's money is no good here. 254 00:15:27,762 --> 00:15:31,223 Never charge. Except for booze. Gotta charge for booze. 255 00:15:31,224 --> 00:15:32,934 I didn't order any booze. It's 12:30. 256 00:15:35,312 --> 00:15:37,606 Knock 'em dead. Go Hammers! 257 00:15:40,901 --> 00:15:43,987 No way. Oi, do you know who this is? 258 00:15:49,659 --> 00:15:50,827 All right, okay. Bye. 259 00:16:05,592 --> 00:16:06,634 And cut! 260 00:16:06,635 --> 00:16:08,594 Lovely, Colin. Thank you. 261 00:16:08,595 --> 00:16:11,389 All right. Okay, Dani, you're up. 262 00:16:13,016 --> 00:16:13,892 I'm very nervous. 263 00:16:13,893 --> 00:16:16,894 No. Don't be nervous. Look, just sit here. Look into the camera 264 00:16:16,895 --> 00:16:18,896 and pretend you're talking to an old friend. 265 00:16:18,897 --> 00:16:20,231 My oldest friend is Javiar. 266 00:16:20,232 --> 00:16:22,733 Great. How long have you known Javiar? 267 00:16:22,734 --> 00:16:26,321 Only a couple of months, but he turns 108 years old next week. 268 00:16:27,781 --> 00:16:29,658 - Perfect. - Yeah. 269 00:16:30,742 --> 00:16:31,868 Final checks. 270 00:16:33,745 --> 00:16:34,746 Thank you. 271 00:16:36,957 --> 00:16:38,165 - Hello, Keeley. - Hi. 272 00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:41,961 Yeah. Just scoot to your left a little bit. 273 00:16:41,962 --> 00:16:45,215 Yeah, that's it. Okay, off you go, Dani. 274 00:16:45,799 --> 00:16:49,803 {\an8}You may not know who I am, but I think the most beautiful parts of a woman 275 00:16:50,554 --> 00:16:51,846 {\an8}are her flaws. 276 00:16:52,514 --> 00:16:55,849 And cut! Thank you, Dani. Next! 277 00:16:55,850 --> 00:16:56,935 Okay. 278 00:17:00,897 --> 00:17:02,731 - Brought you coffee. - Yeah. 279 00:17:02,732 --> 00:17:04,942 - How's it going? - Oh, my God. This is great. 280 00:17:04,943 --> 00:17:06,276 - Yeah? - They're great. 281 00:17:06,277 --> 00:17:08,571 I just... I love being the boss. 282 00:17:08,572 --> 00:17:10,656 - Cheers to that. Yeah. - Cheers to that. 283 00:17:10,657 --> 00:17:12,033 You ready, Zoreaux? 284 00:17:12,575 --> 00:17:14,703 Yeah, but I actually go by "Van Damme" now. 285 00:17:15,328 --> 00:17:17,747 {\an8}Okay, great. Action, Van Damme. 286 00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:20,707 {\an8}You don't know who I am, 287 00:17:20,708 --> 00:17:23,419 {\an8}but I'm looking for someone who likes short walks on the beach, 288 00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:27,007 {\an8}so we can spend more time, you know... 289 00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:33,762 And cut. 290 00:17:33,763 --> 00:17:36,558 Great, thanks, Van Damme. Next! 291 00:17:38,101 --> 00:17:40,061 - Van Damme? - Yeah. It's my new name. 292 00:17:40,645 --> 00:17:42,272 Cool. Why? 293 00:17:42,856 --> 00:17:44,148 Because I love Jean-Claude Van Damme, 294 00:17:44,149 --> 00:17:46,192 and Zava told me I should be whoever I wanna be. 295 00:17:47,444 --> 00:17:49,653 - Okay, yeah. Cool. - All right, Van Damme. 296 00:17:49,654 --> 00:17:51,364 - All right, boys. - Take it easy. 297 00:17:52,699 --> 00:17:54,117 He's so fucking hot. 298 00:17:55,243 --> 00:17:58,997 - What's his story? - Jamie? He's so cocky. 299 00:18:00,457 --> 00:18:02,417 But I guess you have to be at this level. 300 00:18:03,376 --> 00:18:04,794 But he only thinks about himself. 301 00:18:07,172 --> 00:18:08,547 At least, he used to. 302 00:18:08,548 --> 00:18:11,091 Joking. No. 303 00:18:11,092 --> 00:18:14,512 But he's not accountable for his actions and what they do to others. 304 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:19,434 Except he is getting better at making apologies. 305 00:18:21,478 --> 00:18:23,730 Still, he only thinks with his dick. 306 00:18:25,232 --> 00:18:29,152 And yet, I don't think he's seen anyone in ages. 307 00:18:31,571 --> 00:18:33,823 I just wanna know if I can bang him, babe. 308 00:18:37,869 --> 00:18:39,079 I don't know. 309 00:18:39,663 --> 00:18:41,622 You should probably ask him, it's his dick. 310 00:18:41,623 --> 00:18:43,959 Cool. Off you go, Jamie. 311 00:18:52,551 --> 00:18:53,884 What are y'all still doing here? 312 00:18:53,885 --> 00:18:55,886 Coach, you're gonna wanna watch this. 313 00:18:55,887 --> 00:18:57,179 Is it one of them videos 314 00:18:57,180 --> 00:18:59,348 of a military parent coming home after a long tour? 315 00:18:59,349 --> 00:19:01,643 'Cause if so, I'm gonna be eating tears and snot for dinner. 316 00:18:59,432 --> 00:19:01,642 'Cause if so, I'm gonna be eating tears and snot for dinner. 317 00:19:01,643 --> 00:19:02,727 Not quite. 318 00:19:45,937 --> 00:19:46,938 Here we go. 319 00:19:55,196 --> 00:19:56,780 Where'd this come from? 320 00:19:56,781 --> 00:19:59,408 This fucking legend thought to pull the security footage 321 00:19:59,409 --> 00:20:00,911 when we told him about the sign. 322 00:19:59,492 --> 00:20:00,910 When we told him about the sign. 323 00:20:00,911 --> 00:20:02,703 I guess you can take the boy out of journalism 324 00:20:02,704 --> 00:20:04,371 but you can't take journalism out of the boy. 325 00:20:04,372 --> 00:20:06,415 Right, you fucking ruined it now. The point is, 326 00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:08,919 the answer we were looking for has arrived. 327 00:20:09,502 --> 00:20:10,669 What are you talking about? 328 00:20:10,670 --> 00:20:14,090 A video like this could motivate a team, perhaps. 329 00:20:17,761 --> 00:20:19,054 Thank you for your help, Trent. 330 00:20:19,554 --> 00:20:21,848 May a young Robert Redford portray you in a film someday. 331 00:20:22,432 --> 00:20:23,641 Probably Dustin Hoffman. 332 00:20:23,642 --> 00:20:24,893 - Good night. - Good night. 333 00:20:26,436 --> 00:20:28,313 Go home, guys. Get some sleep. 334 00:20:29,648 --> 00:20:30,856 Okay. 335 00:20:30,857 --> 00:20:32,608 - Good night, Ted. Night, Beard. - Good night. 336 00:20:32,609 --> 00:20:33,693 Night, Coach. 337 00:20:40,992 --> 00:20:42,160 Coach. 338 00:20:42,994 --> 00:20:46,081 I was thinking about your Sassy situation. 339 00:20:46,665 --> 00:20:47,624 Yeah. 340 00:20:47,625 --> 00:20:49,166 Jane's sister is in town. 341 00:20:49,167 --> 00:20:51,253 - No, thank you, Coach. - That's the right answer. 342 00:21:10,939 --> 00:21:13,149 Burning the midnight oil, I see. 343 00:21:14,901 --> 00:21:16,987 Yeah. Sorry for the smell. 344 00:21:18,822 --> 00:21:20,532 The oil burning. 345 00:21:22,659 --> 00:21:25,495 So, you're feeling confident about this weekend? 346 00:21:26,162 --> 00:21:27,831 Yeah, no, I think so. 347 00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:33,253 Yeah, no. Go... Yeah. We're gonna destroy, right? 348 00:21:34,045 --> 00:21:35,254 Good. 349 00:21:35,255 --> 00:21:37,465 No, it's just, I... 350 00:21:39,718 --> 00:21:41,928 I just haven't seen Ted since I left and... 351 00:21:43,930 --> 00:21:46,057 We didn't leave on the best of terms and... 352 00:21:47,809 --> 00:21:50,060 I feel like I owe him an apology or something. 353 00:21:50,061 --> 00:21:52,355 You did what was best for you. 354 00:21:52,939 --> 00:21:54,356 What were you meant to do? 355 00:21:54,357 --> 00:21:57,067 Hang around, supporting Ted for the rest of your life? 356 00:21:57,068 --> 00:21:58,653 I don't think so. 357 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,954 You've done nothing wrong, Nathan, I promise you. 358 00:22:09,915 --> 00:22:11,583 You earned this job. 359 00:22:14,628 --> 00:22:16,588 Well, so what do I say when I see him? 360 00:22:17,505 --> 00:22:19,799 You say nothing, apart from "hello." 361 00:22:21,134 --> 00:22:23,553 You look him in the eye. You shake his hand. 362 00:22:25,096 --> 00:22:26,806 And then you beat him. 363 00:22:29,226 --> 00:22:30,894 And then we go and celebrate. 364 00:22:32,229 --> 00:22:33,230 Okay. 365 00:22:33,897 --> 00:22:34,897 Good night, Nathan. 366 00:22:37,943 --> 00:22:41,029 Good night, Rupert. Thank you. 367 00:22:42,489 --> 00:22:43,615 Mr. Mannion. 368 00:23:33,748 --> 00:23:34,749 Hey. 369 00:23:35,417 --> 00:23:37,084 Working late? Or hardly working? 370 00:23:37,085 --> 00:23:39,336 Well, I don't think that's how the joke goes. 371 00:23:39,337 --> 00:23:40,547 What joke? 372 00:23:41,631 --> 00:23:42,841 Never mind. What's up? 373 00:23:46,094 --> 00:23:47,679 I really want to win this one. 374 00:23:48,972 --> 00:23:50,056 I know. 375 00:23:57,397 --> 00:23:58,565 Everything okay? 376 00:24:05,030 --> 00:24:06,280 Am I a mess? 377 00:24:06,281 --> 00:24:07,961 Of course you are. That's why we get along. 378 00:24:11,369 --> 00:24:16,416 And I wish I could tell you to ignore Sass, but she's usually right. 379 00:24:18,084 --> 00:24:20,962 So, Sassy already told you about the... Of course. Girl talk. 380 00:24:21,630 --> 00:24:22,631 Girl talk. 381 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,261 So, is everything all right? 382 00:24:30,055 --> 00:24:31,055 Yeah, I'm good. 383 00:24:31,056 --> 00:24:32,182 Oklahoma? 384 00:24:40,357 --> 00:24:42,025 I'm a work in "progmess." 385 00:24:48,114 --> 00:24:49,115 Good night, Ted. 386 00:24:53,161 --> 00:24:54,371 You already won, you know? 387 00:24:56,957 --> 00:24:58,500 You got that turkey out of your life. 388 00:25:02,921 --> 00:25:03,922 Beat them. 389 00:25:07,259 --> 00:25:08,343 Good night, boss. 390 00:25:54,973 --> 00:25:56,932 Oi, do I look all right? 391 00:25:56,933 --> 00:25:58,642 Of course you do. Why? 392 00:25:58,643 --> 00:26:00,061 Well, if Jack actually shows up, 393 00:25:58,727 --> 00:26:00,060 Well, if Jack actually shows up, 394 00:26:00,061 --> 00:26:03,314 I want him to think that I look mysterious and powerful. 395 00:26:03,315 --> 00:26:04,732 Dynamic, you know? 396 00:26:04,733 --> 00:26:09,613 - All of that. - You are mysterious, powerful and dynamic. 397 00:26:13,033 --> 00:26:14,200 Shit, I'm nervous. 398 00:26:15,869 --> 00:26:17,871 I think I need to go and reapply my lip liner. 399 00:26:19,998 --> 00:26:21,833 - I'll see you upstairs in the suite. - Yep. 400 00:26:25,420 --> 00:26:27,087 Hey, Rebecca! 401 00:26:27,088 --> 00:26:29,633 - Rupert. - Wonderful to see you. 402 00:26:30,425 --> 00:26:33,261 - Bex. Love the new hair. - Hi. 403 00:26:33,845 --> 00:26:35,054 I haven't changed my hair. 404 00:26:35,055 --> 00:26:37,182 Nor should you. It's perfection. 405 00:26:38,683 --> 00:26:40,184 So, how's the little one? 406 00:26:40,185 --> 00:26:44,313 Oh, yeah, Diane. She's already walking. Can you believe that? 407 00:26:44,314 --> 00:26:47,234 Yeah. Drooling and pooing around the house. 408 00:26:47,734 --> 00:26:48,944 Takes after her father. 409 00:26:51,238 --> 00:26:54,157 Well. Hey, take it easy on us today. 410 00:26:55,033 --> 00:26:56,409 No promises. 411 00:27:08,922 --> 00:27:10,048 Oh, shit. 412 00:27:21,434 --> 00:27:22,518 Excuse me. 413 00:27:22,519 --> 00:27:25,021 I've got a bit of a situation here. 414 00:27:28,692 --> 00:27:31,861 Thank you. But it's actually not that. 415 00:27:35,198 --> 00:27:36,575 You're a lifesaver! 416 00:27:37,993 --> 00:27:39,326 Usually I'm like clockwork, 417 00:27:39,327 --> 00:27:42,080 but because I've been so stressed, I've come on early. 418 00:27:43,498 --> 00:27:46,417 I'm so happy that it's a super and not a skinny. 419 00:27:46,418 --> 00:27:48,168 Who are those even for? 420 00:27:48,169 --> 00:27:51,715 It's not like my vagina is on a diet, I'm on my fucking period. 421 00:27:53,383 --> 00:27:54,925 Oi, thanks for helping me. 422 00:27:54,926 --> 00:27:56,427 And I love your shoes! 423 00:27:56,428 --> 00:27:58,618 - Yeah. Thanks. Pay it forward. - Yeah. 424 00:27:58,619 --> 00:28:00,724 - Yeah. Thanks. Pay it forward. - Yeah. 425 00:28:07,814 --> 00:28:09,441 Sorry. Excuse me. 426 00:28:11,818 --> 00:28:12,819 Hi. 427 00:28:14,821 --> 00:28:15,822 Boy, you're tall. 428 00:28:16,656 --> 00:28:18,325 Is your dad a tree or something? 429 00:28:19,159 --> 00:28:20,327 No, I'm screwing around. 430 00:28:21,661 --> 00:28:23,829 Hey, speaking of trees, who are y'all rooting for today? 431 00:28:23,830 --> 00:28:24,956 West Ham. 432 00:28:25,457 --> 00:28:27,292 Yeah, no, that makes sense. Yeah. 433 00:28:33,381 --> 00:28:36,342 Go ahead. Yeah. Going down one more floor. 434 00:28:36,343 --> 00:28:38,595 - Thank you. - Yeah, of course. 435 00:28:39,971 --> 00:28:41,139 Best of luck out there. 436 00:28:57,614 --> 00:28:59,199 Hey, Nate. That you? 437 00:29:01,409 --> 00:29:02,826 Hi. I didn't see you there. 438 00:29:02,827 --> 00:29:05,997 - That's okay. How you been, man? - Yeah, okay. 439 00:29:06,498 --> 00:29:08,500 Yeah. Good. 440 00:29:14,339 --> 00:29:15,340 Listen, Ted. 441 00:29:16,341 --> 00:29:19,718 I just wanna say that the way I left... 442 00:29:19,719 --> 00:29:23,014 Nathan. There you are. 443 00:29:24,307 --> 00:29:25,308 Yeah. 444 00:29:31,982 --> 00:29:33,441 Hey, Rupert. 445 00:29:34,150 --> 00:29:36,528 - Ted. - Nice to see you again. 446 00:29:38,446 --> 00:29:39,489 Good luck. 447 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,871 - Keeley? Yeah. - She's absolutely fantastic. 448 00:29:47,455 --> 00:29:48,455 Here she is now. 449 00:29:49,124 --> 00:29:52,626 - Hey. Yeah. - Keeley? This is Jack Danvers. 450 00:29:52,627 --> 00:29:53,837 Hello. 451 00:29:55,046 --> 00:29:57,173 I believe you have something of mine. 452 00:29:59,426 --> 00:30:00,573 Oh, fuck. You're Jack? 453 00:30:00,574 --> 00:30:01,720 Oh, fuck. You're Jack? 454 00:30:03,597 --> 00:30:05,097 This is a bit embarrassing. 455 00:30:05,098 --> 00:30:07,933 - No. - Yeah. We all thought you were a man. 456 00:30:07,934 --> 00:30:09,811 Yeah, that too. 457 00:30:10,437 --> 00:30:11,520 It's like that old riddle. 458 00:30:11,521 --> 00:30:13,981 - What riddle? - You know, always a tricky one, this one. 459 00:30:13,982 --> 00:30:15,608 A father and son are in a car wreck. 460 00:30:15,609 --> 00:30:19,445 Dad dies instantly, the son is rushed to an emergency room. 461 00:30:19,446 --> 00:30:21,488 A surgeon walks in and says, 462 00:30:21,489 --> 00:30:24,283 "I can't operate on this boy. He's my son." 463 00:30:24,284 --> 00:30:25,827 How is it possible? 464 00:30:26,745 --> 00:30:28,162 - Because she's a woman. - She's gay. 465 00:30:28,163 --> 00:30:30,206 - Sperm donor. - He lives in a simulation? 466 00:30:30,874 --> 00:30:33,752 Right. Yeah, I guess that's a bit dated now. 467 00:30:35,045 --> 00:30:37,630 So, I assume "Jack" is short for "Jacqueline," right? 468 00:30:37,631 --> 00:30:39,549 No. It's short for my father wanted a boy. 469 00:30:41,676 --> 00:30:45,764 I'm gonna go and sit down now, outside. Now. 470 00:30:46,723 --> 00:30:48,057 Jack, welcome. 471 00:30:48,058 --> 00:30:50,643 We are not allowed to take drinks to our seats. 472 00:30:50,644 --> 00:30:53,164 So if you want to get plastered, we should probably do that now. 473 00:30:53,605 --> 00:30:54,606 Okay. 474 00:30:55,899 --> 00:30:57,609 Well, after you. 475 00:31:00,820 --> 00:31:02,697 You're so funny, Rebecca. 476 00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:07,285 Barbara's obsessed with Rebecca. 477 00:31:08,203 --> 00:31:11,373 I hope she doesn't try and kill her and wear her skin as a suit. 478 00:31:15,961 --> 00:31:17,294 What the fuck? 479 00:31:17,295 --> 00:31:19,214 Cheers. It's gonna be a good day. 480 00:31:19,839 --> 00:31:21,800 - All right, Baz. - Oi! 481 00:31:22,968 --> 00:31:25,136 This is a Richmond pub. 482 00:31:26,221 --> 00:31:27,847 It's all right, Mae. He's with me. 483 00:31:32,686 --> 00:31:34,271 Get the fuck out! 484 00:31:39,568 --> 00:31:40,901 Come on, Richmond! 485 00:31:40,902 --> 00:31:43,654 Come on, Richmond! Come on, Richmond! 486 00:31:43,655 --> 00:31:45,489 It's a full house for today's battle 487 00:31:45,490 --> 00:31:49,493 between West Ham United and Zava's AFC Richmond. 488 00:31:49,494 --> 00:31:53,163 A win would take either team to the top spot in the table, 489 00:31:53,164 --> 00:31:56,293 knocking mighty Manchester City off number one. 490 00:31:56,835 --> 00:31:59,003 Should be a tight match, Chris. Any predictions? 491 00:31:59,004 --> 00:32:00,881 I stopped making predictions, Arlo. 492 00:31:59,087 --> 00:32:00,880 I stopped making predictions, Arlo. 493 00:32:00,881 --> 00:32:02,298 Because I was never wrong. 494 00:32:02,299 --> 00:32:05,634 Got to the point I was worried I was the one making things happen. 495 00:32:05,635 --> 00:32:07,052 Well, that's interesting. 496 00:32:07,053 --> 00:32:08,220 I knew you'd say that. 497 00:32:08,221 --> 00:32:10,723 They fade and die 498 00:32:10,724 --> 00:32:14,810 Fortune's always hiding 499 00:32:14,811 --> 00:32:18,564 I've looked everywhere 500 00:32:18,565 --> 00:32:22,484 I'm forever blowing bubbles 501 00:32:22,485 --> 00:32:26,447 Pretty bubbles in the air 502 00:32:26,448 --> 00:32:29,158 United! United! 503 00:32:29,159 --> 00:32:32,202 United! United! 504 00:32:32,203 --> 00:32:35,040 United! United! 505 00:32:36,416 --> 00:32:37,417 Nate. 506 00:32:39,336 --> 00:32:41,171 Let's have fun out there today, yeah? 507 00:33:06,738 --> 00:33:09,198 West Ham are quite happy to just soak up the pressure. 508 00:33:09,199 --> 00:33:12,701 Not taking any risks at all against Richmond, 509 00:33:12,702 --> 00:33:14,704 of all teams, at home. 510 00:33:15,455 --> 00:33:18,916 - A sign of how far Richmond have come. - It's all right. We're okay. 511 00:33:18,917 --> 00:33:20,501 What a threat Zava is. 512 00:33:20,502 --> 00:33:23,880 Richmond! To the right! Tight! Don't get scared. 513 00:33:28,218 --> 00:33:32,054 And it stays nil-nil, thanks to an amazing save by Zoreaux. 514 00:33:32,055 --> 00:33:34,265 - Van Damme. - Van Damme! 515 00:33:34,266 --> 00:33:36,225 I hear he wants to be called "Van Damme" now. 516 00:33:36,226 --> 00:33:37,143 Why? 517 00:33:37,144 --> 00:33:39,824 Well, we'd probably have to dive into his childhood for that answer. 518 00:33:40,981 --> 00:33:44,692 Richmond need the key pass to unlock the Hammers' defense. 519 00:33:44,693 --> 00:33:45,777 That could be the one. 520 00:33:47,445 --> 00:33:48,988 - Tartt hits the woodwork. - No! 521 00:33:48,989 --> 00:33:51,074 - That was close. - Zava was wide open. 522 00:33:54,327 --> 00:33:55,996 For Zava! 523 00:33:56,871 --> 00:34:00,834 - There'll be two more minutes in the first half of this scoreless, - There'll be two more minutes in the first half of this scoreless, 524 00:34:00,837 --> 00:34:02,961 But pulsating, London derby. 525 00:34:04,629 --> 00:34:07,506 - Obisanya caught in possession. - No. 526 00:34:07,507 --> 00:34:09,718 And here come West Ham on the break. 527 00:34:10,510 --> 00:34:12,429 Armando bearing down on goal. 528 00:34:14,514 --> 00:34:15,681 - Yeah! - Yes! 529 00:34:15,682 --> 00:34:18,308 And it's there. Right under Van Damme. 530 00:34:18,309 --> 00:34:21,270 The Canadian keeper apparently not as unstoppable 531 00:34:21,271 --> 00:34:23,147 as the Muscles from Brussels. 532 00:34:23,148 --> 00:34:26,025 That's not fair, Arlo. Nobody is. 533 00:34:26,026 --> 00:34:27,985 - We've been here before. Come on. - Come on, lads. 534 00:34:27,986 --> 00:34:31,530 The Hammers go up 1-nil just before halftime. 535 00:34:32,115 --> 00:34:34,074 Fuck it. 536 00:34:34,075 --> 00:34:37,120 All right, guys. Come on, now. Let's end this half strong! 537 00:34:38,371 --> 00:34:39,371 Huddle. 538 00:34:42,666 --> 00:34:44,001 What's this shit? 539 00:34:45,086 --> 00:34:46,170 I don't know. 540 00:34:46,171 --> 00:34:48,922 - Lower. Move it right. Five. - Brilliant. 541 00:34:48,923 --> 00:34:51,483 - Right now, come on. Five. - Ref, just blow the fucking whistle. 542 00:34:55,472 --> 00:34:56,596 West Ham pressing now. 543 00:34:56,597 --> 00:34:58,557 - No. - A new tactic from the Hammers 544 00:34:58,558 --> 00:35:00,685 in the closing seconds of the first half. 545 00:34:58,642 --> 00:35:00,684 In the closing seconds of the first half. 546 00:35:00,685 --> 00:35:02,604 It's never too late to change, Arlo. 547 00:35:04,981 --> 00:35:07,858 - No! - Fuck! Fuck you! Fuck! 548 00:35:07,859 --> 00:35:11,071 And it's 2-nil. Oh, deary me. 549 00:35:15,659 --> 00:35:16,660 Excuse me. 550 00:35:20,872 --> 00:35:22,249 How did that happen? 551 00:35:24,167 --> 00:35:25,584 We go to halftime. 552 00:35:25,585 --> 00:35:27,628 Richmond have dominated possession, 553 00:35:27,629 --> 00:35:31,799 but out of absolutely nowhere, it's 2-nil to the Hammers. 554 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,676 We don't deserve that. 555 00:35:33,677 --> 00:35:35,178 What the fuck just happened? 556 00:35:35,679 --> 00:35:36,846 I don't know. 557 00:35:39,724 --> 00:35:41,517 Hey, fellas. I'll be right back. Okay? 558 00:35:41,518 --> 00:35:42,810 The fuck are you going? 559 00:35:42,811 --> 00:35:45,771 - I'll just be a minute or two, okay? - What do we tell the team? 560 00:35:45,772 --> 00:35:47,107 I don't know. Surprise me. 561 00:35:53,238 --> 00:35:55,531 Hey, boss. What you doing down here? 562 00:35:55,532 --> 00:35:58,701 I just wanted to tell you that I believe in you, Ted. 563 00:35:58,702 --> 00:35:59,868 Uh-huh? 564 00:35:59,869 --> 00:36:02,998 And I know that I've been putting an awful lot of pressure on you 565 00:35:59,953 --> 00:36:02,997 And I know that I've been putting an awful lot of pressure on you 566 00:36:02,998 --> 00:36:07,835 to win today, but I just want you to forget all about that. 567 00:36:07,836 --> 00:36:11,631 Just be yourself and have fun. 568 00:36:13,091 --> 00:36:14,091 - Okay. - Yeah. 569 00:36:14,092 --> 00:36:16,052 Okay. Well, thank you. 570 00:36:17,846 --> 00:36:19,598 I believe in you, Ted. 571 00:36:20,932 --> 00:36:21,933 And it's intense. 572 00:36:24,311 --> 00:36:26,438 - I better go. All right. - Off you pop. 573 00:36:28,940 --> 00:36:32,360 Remember, have fun! 574 00:36:34,446 --> 00:36:37,949 Yes! This is so exciting! 575 00:36:43,413 --> 00:36:44,456 No. 576 00:36:52,881 --> 00:36:54,216 This is your surprise, huh? 577 00:36:54,758 --> 00:36:57,928 A minute ago, they were catatonic. Now look at them. 578 00:36:59,804 --> 00:37:04,365 - They're killers. - Frankly, Ted, sometimes that's good. - They're killers. - Frankly, Ted, sometimes that's good. 579 00:37:19,032 --> 00:37:21,242 Oh, my. Richmond coming out of the tunnel 580 00:37:21,243 --> 00:37:23,495 with a palpable chip on their shoulder. 581 00:37:24,079 --> 00:37:28,249 Wow. A real tension on the pitch. I think we're in for an exciting half. 582 00:37:28,250 --> 00:37:31,377 We begin the second half with Richmond looking for a strong start. 583 00:37:31,378 --> 00:37:33,629 - Come on, boys. Fucking kill 'em. - Fucking kill 'em. 584 00:37:33,630 --> 00:37:35,006 - Here we go! - Kill! 585 00:37:38,301 --> 00:37:40,094 That's an awful tackle. 586 00:37:40,095 --> 00:37:41,887 - He would be fortunate to escape... - Oh, fuck. 587 00:37:41,888 --> 00:37:43,222 With just a yellow. 588 00:37:43,223 --> 00:37:45,140 It's a deserved red, and Richmond 589 00:37:45,141 --> 00:37:48,436 will play almost the entire second half with ten men. 590 00:37:49,729 --> 00:37:51,773 He's actually a very sweet young man. 591 00:37:53,316 --> 00:37:54,985 Here come West Ham. 592 00:37:58,488 --> 00:38:00,240 - And now Van Damme has been sent off. - And now Van Damme has been sent off. 593 00:38:00,243 --> 00:38:02,826 - We're playing like Italians. - I know. 594 00:38:03,577 --> 00:38:04,577 It's awesome. 595 00:38:07,372 --> 00:38:08,957 Oh, dear. 596 00:38:20,635 --> 00:38:22,887 It's getting a touch spicy out there. 597 00:38:22,888 --> 00:38:26,182 Spicy, Arlo? This is vintage vindaloo. 598 00:38:28,602 --> 00:38:29,602 No. 599 00:38:41,823 --> 00:38:45,827 Montlaur has lost his mind, and Richmond have lost a third player. 600 00:38:55,337 --> 00:38:57,047 Fucking come on. 601 00:38:57,631 --> 00:39:00,911 - Richmond have completely lost the plot. - Richmond have completely lost the plot. 602 00:39:01,551 --> 00:39:05,180 Zava must be wondering what he's done to deserve this. 603 00:39:10,644 --> 00:39:11,645 Yes! 604 00:39:12,187 --> 00:39:14,146 And it's 4-1 to the Hammers. 605 00:39:14,147 --> 00:39:17,066 It went from evenly matched to unevenly matched 606 00:39:17,067 --> 00:39:21,111 to light a match on fire and put it into a can of petrol. 607 00:39:21,112 --> 00:39:23,530 That second half should've come with a trigger warning. 608 00:39:23,531 --> 00:39:27,868 One extraordinary goal by Zava did not make it any less tough to watch. 609 00:39:27,869 --> 00:39:31,538 Richmond showed a side of themselves we've never seen before. 610 00:39:31,539 --> 00:39:34,124 They played angry, dirty and ugly. 611 00:39:34,125 --> 00:39:37,170 Which are also the names of Zava's three youngest kids. 612 00:39:37,796 --> 00:39:39,256 Shit. 613 00:39:41,841 --> 00:39:42,842 Shit. 614 00:39:44,135 --> 00:39:45,177 Shit. 615 00:39:45,178 --> 00:39:47,305 - Hey, it's okay. - Shit. 616 00:39:52,102 --> 00:39:53,352 Did you guys have fun? 617 00:39:53,353 --> 00:39:54,436 Yeah. 618 00:39:54,437 --> 00:39:57,482 The violence was quite entertaining, wasn't it? In a way. 619 00:40:05,240 --> 00:40:07,367 Sending off Van Damme was a mistake. 620 00:40:08,076 --> 00:40:09,369 He played with passion. 621 00:40:10,579 --> 00:40:13,123 "Passion" is a word we use when we talk about love. 622 00:40:14,749 --> 00:40:18,003 It is also a word we use to describe a crime. 623 00:40:19,713 --> 00:40:21,256 Sometimes it is also a fruit. 624 00:40:25,802 --> 00:40:27,137 Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry. 625 00:40:48,825 --> 00:40:51,411 - We fucked up. - We overcorrected and played with hate. 626 00:40:54,205 --> 00:40:57,000 - Be great if you yelled at us a bit. - Please. 627 00:40:58,793 --> 00:41:02,393 - Call us pieces of shit or something. - Now. - Call us pieces of shit or something. - Now. 628 00:41:02,714 --> 00:41:03,923 You can hit us. 629 00:41:03,924 --> 00:41:05,175 Get it over with. 630 00:41:07,010 --> 00:41:09,054 Tried something new. It didn't work. Big whoop. 631 00:41:11,431 --> 00:41:13,475 I will take that thumb drive one of y'all's got. 632 00:41:22,484 --> 00:41:25,362 Shake it off, fellas. Lot of football left this season. 633 00:41:29,366 --> 00:41:31,533 - What a fucking arsehole. - I know. 634 00:41:31,534 --> 00:41:34,495 You have to feel pretty good about yourself after that win, yeah? 635 00:41:34,496 --> 00:41:36,831 Well, yeah. Richmond were clearly rattled. 636 00:41:37,916 --> 00:41:39,876 It was easier than I expected, if I'm honest. 637 00:41:40,418 --> 00:41:41,418 What about Ted? 638 00:41:41,419 --> 00:41:44,297 Quite a snub not to shake his hand at the end of the game. 639 00:41:45,507 --> 00:41:48,884 Did I not? I didn't mean to. 640 00:41:48,885 --> 00:41:53,139 I... Guess I just got caught up in the excitement of it all. Yeah. 641 00:41:55,183 --> 00:41:56,343 Excuse me a minute. I just... 642 00:42:08,613 --> 00:42:11,366 Coach Shelley, Mr. Mannion asked me to give you this. 643 00:42:13,201 --> 00:42:14,744 {\an8}He'll meet you there in an hour. 644 00:42:17,872 --> 00:42:18,872 Thank... 645 00:42:36,433 --> 00:42:39,059 - It's so good to see you, Rebecca. - You too, Bex. 646 00:42:39,060 --> 00:42:41,020 Oh, Rebecca, my dear. 647 00:42:41,021 --> 00:42:44,773 - So sorry for your loss. - Thank you. 648 00:42:44,774 --> 00:42:47,193 Come on, old man. It's way past your bedtime. 649 00:42:51,406 --> 00:42:52,407 Lovely to see you. 650 00:42:53,742 --> 00:42:55,327 I saw you with your assistant. 651 00:42:56,703 --> 00:42:58,955 Your daughter deserves better, and so does Bex. 652 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:01,800 - Stop fucking around. - Stop fucking around. 653 00:43:10,050 --> 00:43:11,051 Here you go. 654 00:43:12,302 --> 00:43:15,054 We are normally a lot better than that. And nicer. 655 00:43:15,055 --> 00:43:19,850 Well, it's never great when your team gets more red cards than goals, is it? 656 00:43:19,851 --> 00:43:20,851 No. 657 00:43:22,270 --> 00:43:23,897 What a shit show. 658 00:43:25,899 --> 00:43:28,067 Anyway, good news. Bantr's trending. 659 00:43:28,068 --> 00:43:29,193 - It is? - Yeah. 660 00:43:29,194 --> 00:43:32,197 Pretty sure the change to the bio line helped. 661 00:43:32,739 --> 00:43:33,990 What are you talking about? 662 00:43:38,411 --> 00:43:39,662 Who did this? 663 00:43:39,663 --> 00:43:42,999 I did. This afternoon, when I uploaded the vids. 664 00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:44,876 You're welcome. 665 00:43:46,378 --> 00:43:47,671 - Shandy. - Yeah. 666 00:43:49,256 --> 00:43:53,676 This is the opposite of what Bantr is trying to do. 667 00:43:53,677 --> 00:43:56,011 Are you joking? They're gonna love it. 668 00:43:56,012 --> 00:43:58,598 I've literally tripled their subscribers in an hour. 669 00:43:59,891 --> 00:44:01,581 You need to change this back, now. Please. 670 00:44:01,582 --> 00:44:03,270 You need to change this back, now. Please. 671 00:44:04,437 --> 00:44:05,438 Yeah. 672 00:44:07,524 --> 00:44:09,484 It was really lovely to meet you. 673 00:44:10,235 --> 00:44:12,529 - You too. - Excuse me. 674 00:44:18,326 --> 00:44:20,912 Hey. Here he is! 675 00:44:22,038 --> 00:44:24,499 The Wonder Kid himself. 676 00:44:27,043 --> 00:44:28,962 The man of the hour! 677 00:44:29,713 --> 00:44:31,423 Thank you very much, Mr. Mannion. 678 00:44:32,007 --> 00:44:34,384 Please, no. "Rupert." 679 00:44:35,302 --> 00:44:36,553 Nathan. 680 00:44:37,554 --> 00:44:39,263 Thanks, Ms. Kakes. That's... 681 00:44:39,264 --> 00:44:43,685 And Nathan, allow me to introduce Anastasia. 682 00:44:45,228 --> 00:44:46,229 Huge fan. 683 00:44:49,482 --> 00:44:50,858 Oh, my God. You're famous. 684 00:44:50,859 --> 00:44:52,277 So are you. 685 00:44:58,033 --> 00:44:59,784 Congratulations to your victory. 686 00:45:00,744 --> 00:45:02,037 Yeah. Thank you. 687 00:45:10,587 --> 00:45:12,547 Come on, Tartt! One more before dinner! 688 00:45:15,425 --> 00:45:16,593 Let's go, Coach. 689 00:45:23,016 --> 00:45:24,558 That was hard to watch. 690 00:45:24,559 --> 00:45:28,479 Thierry, West Ham's domination today saw Ted Lasso being totally exposed 691 00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,564 by his former assistant Nate Shelley. 692 00:45:30,565 --> 00:45:33,984 Gary, I love this quote from a Chinese philosopher, Laozi, 693 00:45:33,985 --> 00:45:36,654 "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. 694 00:45:36,655 --> 00:45:40,199 When the student is truly ready, the teacher will disappear." 695 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:41,284 The Greyhounds... 696 00:46:10,981 --> 00:46:12,065 - Hi, Ted. - Hey. 697 00:46:12,649 --> 00:46:13,691 Sorry about the match. 698 00:46:13,692 --> 00:46:16,193 No. That's all right. It was a tough one. 699 00:46:16,194 --> 00:46:18,362 Henry's not here right now. He's at a birthday party, 700 00:46:18,363 --> 00:46:19,446 - but I'll... - No, that's okay. 701 00:46:19,447 --> 00:46:23,034 I was actually hoping just to chat with you. You got a minute? 702 00:46:23,702 --> 00:46:25,786 Sure. Is everything okay? 703 00:46:25,787 --> 00:46:31,626 Yeah. Well... No. You know, I just... 704 00:46:33,044 --> 00:46:35,088 I wanted to say something real quick. 705 00:46:38,008 --> 00:46:39,009 Look, I... 706 00:46:39,759 --> 00:46:44,097 I know that you and I aren't, you know, together anymore. 707 00:46:44,639 --> 00:46:47,183 And I respect that. Okay? I do. 708 00:46:52,981 --> 00:46:55,691 But, Well, you know, 709 00:46:55,692 --> 00:46:59,195 this whole thing with you and Dr. Jacob really ticks me off. 710 00:47:01,072 --> 00:47:04,366 And I'm upset that we didn't ever really get to talk about it 711 00:47:04,367 --> 00:47:06,202 before it all started. 712 00:47:07,954 --> 00:47:08,954 Yeah. 713 00:47:08,955 --> 00:47:13,668 And look, I understand that me saying all this, 714 00:47:14,336 --> 00:47:17,172 might be the wrong thing to do, but... 715 00:47:19,382 --> 00:47:22,969 I just feel like not saying it... 716 00:47:26,389 --> 00:47:27,515 isn't the... 717 00:47:30,018 --> 00:47:31,658 Well, wouldn't be the right thing either. 718 00:47:35,523 --> 00:47:37,817 'Cause we gotta raise this little boy together, you know? 719 00:47:40,153 --> 00:47:42,614 We're stuck with each other. We're gonna share grandkids. 720 00:47:49,246 --> 00:47:50,830 I love you, Michelle. 721 00:47:53,667 --> 00:47:55,001 And I love Henry. 722 00:47:59,881 --> 00:48:01,801 - And I love our family. - And I love our family. 723 00:48:03,802 --> 00:48:05,220 No matter what it looks like. 724 00:48:12,227 --> 00:48:13,228 Okay? 725 00:48:16,273 --> 00:48:17,274 Of course. 726 00:48:21,861 --> 00:48:24,239 Well, I'll talk to y'all soon. 727 00:48:25,198 --> 00:48:27,784 Have a good night. Tell Henry I love him. 728 00:48:28,618 --> 00:48:29,661 Good night, Ted.