1 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:29,029 Fucking hell. 2 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,156 All right, let's go. 3 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:32,573 It's 4:00 a.m. 4 00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:34,701 Yeah. We start at 4:00 a.m. 5 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:35,911 I thought you were joking. 6 00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:37,162 How is that a joke? 7 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,580 'Cause it's 4:00 a.m. 8 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,251 We start at 4:00, so you can do three workouts a day instead of two. 9 00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:46,296 Okay, but it's 4:00 a.m. 10 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,590 Do you wanna be better than Zava or not? 11 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,719 Well, how are we gonna see? It's dark out. 12 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,431 Fucking hell. 13 00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:59,560 Now get dressed. Or I start flicking your balls. 14 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,854 This is perverse. 15 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,721 Whoops. 16 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:52,529 There you go. 17 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,669 Good morning, Sassy Smurf. 18 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,924 Good morning, Marlboro Man. 19 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:14,218 You know, you snored all night. 20 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,595 Hmm. I'm sorry about that. 21 00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:18,764 That's all right. It's actually very soothing. 22 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,057 Sounded like the sea. 23 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,768 Well, I'm glad you didn't hear any boat horns, 24 00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:25,604 given all the fried yams I ate last night. 25 00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,107 Oh. 26 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:34,446 Hey, I was thinking. We have a good time together, yeah? 27 00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:37,157 They're called simultaneous orgasms, Ted, yes. 28 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,743 Yeah, well, but I mean 29 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:43,247 also all the talking and laughing and all that stuff. Yeah? 30 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:46,500 Sure. Well, apart from all your dreadful puns. 31 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:49,630 Right. Well, it's tough. Sometimes I just see 'em there, 32 00:02:49,631 --> 00:02:51,937 and I gotta take a swing at 'em, you know? 33 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,968 No, I... Well, what I'm getting at is, um... 34 00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:00,514 Well, I was just thinking maybe... 35 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,308 ... we could go on an actual date sometime. 36 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,562 You know? You and me, together. 37 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:08,814 God, no. 38 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,442 Well, I appreciate you taking the time to consider it. 39 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,736 Ted, we can't date. 40 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:15,737 Why not? 41 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,074 - You're a mess. - I'm a mess? 42 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:20,701 Course you are. 43 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:24,162 I'm a mess too, but I'm a mess three years further on than you, 44 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,582 so I'm more of a slight disarray. 45 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,792 More like a slight disarray of sunshine, if you ask me. 46 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,210 Oh, God. 47 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,839 - Sorry. - Ted, on the day my ex got remarried, 48 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:36,675 I drank a bottle of red wine through a straw 49 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,887 and told my Uber driver I was in love with him. 50 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:43,682 Then, when he dropped me home, I puked so much, 51 00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:46,768 my mouth was like an elevator from the goddamn Shining. 52 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,646 Knocked my rating down to a 3.9. 53 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,356 3.9? Ooh. 54 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,151 Fuck you. Why? What's yours? 55 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:58,197 Oh, God, you're a five, aren't you? 56 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,742 Course you're a five. How the fuck are you a five? 57 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,703 I don't know. I'm tidy. I say "Please" and "Thank you." 58 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,788 Sometimes I offer to drive if they look tired. 59 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:10,417 Oh, you are such a mess. 60 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,380 Ted, I like our status. 61 00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:22,012 Friends with benefits, like Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. 62 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:25,224 Oh, no, no, no. I think you're thinking of 2011's other 63 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,392 good-friends-turned-casual-lovers based rom-com. 64 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:30,937 No Strings Attached. 65 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,650 Friends with Benefits was Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. 66 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:38,237 Oh, wow. 2011, friends be fuckin'. 67 00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:39,363 Mm-hmm, yeah. 68 00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:42,449 So, let's keep things 2011. Cool and breezy. 69 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,410 - Like an Arab Spring. - Mmm. 70 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:51,124 And good luck against West Ham this weekend. 71 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,751 - Mmm. - Fuck Rupert 72 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:56,046 and that shriveled raisin-pouch he calls a nutsack. 73 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,146 Hello! Here for Flo? 74 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,940 - You can jump in, love. - Lovely, thank you. 75 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:18,819 Ooh, this is nice. Gray seats? Yes, please. 76 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,863 ... West Ham. This is the real opportunity 77 00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:22,573 for the Wonder Kid to become the Wonder Man... 78 00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,074 101. 79 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,410 100. 80 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,996 Ninety-nine. 81 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,127 Why do you only sleep with a top on? 82 00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:39,006 Because I get cold upstairs and hot downstairs. 83 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,133 Hmm. I get that. 84 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,721 Mornin'. 85 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,120 Oh, listen to what Rupert said in this one. 86 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:14,041 "I truly look forward to seeing my old club again. 87 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,335 Richmond are top-class." 88 00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:18,879 Ugh, what a soggy, wet piece of shit. 89 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,214 - Thank you. - Mmm. 90 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,712 Right, I'm off to the training ground. 91 00:06:22,713 --> 00:06:24,801 Thanks again for the opportunity. 92 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,846 Babe, you earned it. 93 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:31,058 Shandy came up with this super fun Bantr promo. 94 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,185 It uses all the single players on the team. 95 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,436 Yeah. 96 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,273 The anonymous man you're Bantr-ing with 97 00:06:36,274 --> 00:06:38,524 could be a professional footballer. 98 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,818 - Mmm? - Oh, that's great. 99 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,613 And that's all the single players, you say? 100 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:48,700 So, it's, like, Colin and Dani and Sam, et cetera? 101 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,953 Yeah, although I don't think Sam's doing it anymore. 102 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,373 - No. - Mmm. So fun. 103 00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:58,168 - Um, Ms. Jones. - Hello, Barbara. 104 00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,128 - All right there, Barbs? - It's "Barbara." 105 00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,555 Um, if possible, could I get two tickets 106 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:04,925 for the Richmond-West Ham match? 107 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,052 Jack might be coming to London this weekend. 108 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,303 Of course. 109 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:10,764 Who's Jack? 110 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,476 - Jack Danvers. - Mmm? 111 00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:18,105 The head of the VC that funded your company. 112 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,691 Our boss. 113 00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:27,030 Yes. That Jack. Of course. 114 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,908 - Uh... - That's not a problem, Barbara. 115 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:32,703 I can let you have some seats in my suite. 116 00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:35,497 Oh. Lovely. 117 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,750 Thank you so much, Rebecca. That's so kind of you and so efficient. 118 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,254 Keeley. 119 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,926 Thanks, Barbara. 120 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:52,931 So, the one thing we cannot do against West Ham is the False Nine. 121 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,892 - 'Cause that's Nate's shit. - Exactly. 122 00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:57,269 So, we decided to go with our classic 4-4-2. 123 00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,521 Which is exactly what that prick expects us to do. 124 00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:02,399 So, we do the opposite. Five up front. Full-on attack. 125 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:05,944 But Nate knows we're gonna do that, 126 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,880 because Nate knows that we're trying 127 00:08:07,881 --> 00:08:09,990 to outthink him by thinking like him. 128 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,786 Well, fuck Nate, fuck thinking and fuck fucking Socrates. 129 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,122 So, we gotta stop thinking like Nate and start thinking 130 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,917 like Nate would think we would think if Nate were thinking like us, 131 00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,085 and then do the last thing that Nate thinking like us 132 00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:25,172 thinking like Nate thinking like us would ever expect us to do. 133 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:30,677 Have Zava drop back and play Nate's False Nine. 134 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:31,970 Voi-fucking-là. 135 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,222 Brilliant. 136 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,475 - Ah, it's mostly Beard's idea. - Nah, it was a group effort. 137 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:37,601 I do have one question. 138 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,977 - Of course. - Who fucking cares? 139 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,813 Do you think Zava'll do it? 140 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:49,863 Fuck! 141 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,158 - Good mornin'. - Hey. 142 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,035 Oh. Oh. 143 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,871 - Uh-oh, what's wrong? - Roy doesn't think we can beat Nate. 144 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:01,667 - Higgins doesn't think so either! - Beard said it to me first. 145 00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:04,795 - You throw me under the bus? How dare... - You walked in here this morning... 146 00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:08,257 - Oh, you're gonna sell me out? - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 147 00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:11,093 Y'all pointin' more fingers than Ganesha givin' directions. 148 00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:14,596 Now look, you fellas need to calm down and just kiss. 149 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,225 He's right. 150 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:21,687 Keep it simple, smartypants. 151 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:24,314 An answer will show up. Don't worry. 152 00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:29,403 But until it does, here's a question for y'all: Am I a mess? 153 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:34,449 Sassy ended up spending the night last night and, uh... 154 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,827 - Ooh. - No, no, no, hush your butts. 155 00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,287 That ain't the headline. 156 00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:40,455 Well, I asked her out on a proper date this morning. 157 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,460 She turned me down cold. 158 00:09:41,461 --> 00:09:44,608 She said I was... and I quote... "a mess." 159 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:48,005 - Ooh. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 160 00:09:48,005 --> 00:09:51,383 Sounds like a case for the Diamond Dogs! 161 00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:52,843 Release the hounds. 162 00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:55,053 Yeah, here we go! Let's do it. 163 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,893 Fuck's sakes. 164 00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:06,898 Yes. 165 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,651 - "Yes" what? - Yes, you're a mess. 166 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,486 Okay. Expound. 167 00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:12,696 We're playing Nate this week, 168 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,323 and you're acting like it's not a big deal. 169 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,867 Nothing's different. He didn't hurt you. 170 00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,827 Hey, look, we ain't talking about Nate right now. 171 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,914 I'm asking you if you think I'm a mess. All right? 172 00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,081 Higgy pie, what do you think? 173 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:26,919 I think I don't understand how you're not pissed off with Nate. 174 00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:30,714 We have a saying in Co-Dependents Anonymous. 175 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:31,715 Y... What? 176 00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,383 Uh, Jane makes me go with her. 177 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,760 - Oh. - Oh, yeah. 178 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,887 Pain is like carbon monoxide. 179 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,595 Expressing it to the person 180 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,891 who hurt you is like opening a vent, 181 00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,185 but holding it in will poison you. 182 00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:46,772 I like that. But Nate didn't hurt me. 183 00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:47,940 Bullshit! 184 00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:52,069 Oh, Roy, did you wanna get in on this Diamond Dog situation? 185 00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:54,738 - Hey, Roy! Hey, Roy. - Hey, Roy. Here, Roy. 186 00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,907 Here, Roy. Come here, Roy. 187 00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:58,951 La, la, la, la, la! 188 00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:02,996 So, the match of the week is clearly Richmond and West Ham. 189 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,791 Now, it's been a strong start to the season for both of these teams, 190 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:09,002 but I think the Hammers are favorites, going into the London derby, 191 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:12,506 based on the tactical acumen of the Wonder Kid, Nathan Shelley. 192 00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:17,261 Yeah, Shelley is brilliant, there's no doubt about that, 193 00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:20,889 but Zava, he is a genius. I like the Greyhounds for this one. 194 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,266 That's my guy! 195 00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:24,226 No, you can't have him. He's mine. 196 00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:29,064 - Let's move on, shall we, to Sunday's... - Hey, look. Guys, guys. 197 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,232 Who cares, right? 198 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,318 Now come on, we've got work to do. Let's go. 199 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,320 He is correct. 200 00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:42,619 We must ignore these talking faces. Even when they are in our favor. 201 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,663 Thank you, "Zorro." 202 00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:48,250 Oh, exactly, but it's, uh... It's actually pronounced, uh, "Zoreaux." 203 00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:52,796 Why? 204 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,467 I don't know. Because that's how my parents say it, I guess? 205 00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:04,057 My friend, you can be whoever you want to be. 206 00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,779 I let all of my children name themselves 207 00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:09,668 once they reach the age of seven. 208 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,984 That is why my eldest is called "Smingus Dingus." 209 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:19,323 - Mmm. - Dream big, and you may never wake up. 210 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,995 Thank you. 211 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:26,413 Jesus. 212 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,700 I can't believe I'm about to say this, 213 00:12:27,701 --> 00:12:30,626 but hey, lads, I agree with Zava. 214 00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:31,990 Yes, it's a big fucking game, 215 00:12:31,991 --> 00:12:33,754 but we've just gotta focus, do what we do, 216 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,464 - do you know what I mean? - Yeah. He's right. 217 00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:36,673 And don't forget, yeah? 218 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:43,972 - Believe in "Believe." - Yes. 219 00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,933 - Whoa! - Whoa! What the... 220 00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:47,768 What? 221 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,895 - Oh, shit. - What? 222 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:52,439 Oh. 223 00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,611 - Why the fuck did you do that? - I was just checking 224 00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:59,571 if I acquired the ability to chop things in half. 225 00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:01,073 Yeah, and what if you had? 226 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,743 Sorry, bruv. I didn't think it through. 227 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:09,873 Fellas. Someone ripped this in half. 228 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,416 What the fuck? What? 229 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,293 What the fuck? 230 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,379 You're joking. 231 00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:19,383 What the fuck? 232 00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:43,949 Oh, hello... 233 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:45,993 Jade. 234 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:49,538 Nathan. 235 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:52,541 Shelley. 236 00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:56,003 Lovely to see you again. 237 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,296 Okay. 238 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,924 Sorry I've not been around much. 239 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:02,676 You haven't? 240 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:06,722 No. No, I've been, uh, really busy with, uh... with my new job. 241 00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:11,476 Big, big new job just keeping me... very busy. 242 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:15,105 Sounds silly. Maybe you should quit your big new busy job. 243 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,693 Anyway, uh, just here to pick up my takeaway. 244 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,945 I bought lunch for my whole staff. 245 00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:24,072 Apart from the trainers, 'cause they eat like cows. 246 00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:26,460 Sorry, that sounds, um... 247 00:14:26,461 --> 00:14:28,160 No, they're love... I mean, they're lovely people. 248 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,953 They're just vegetarians. 249 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,751 No way. 250 00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:41,465 Look who's here. No fucking way! 251 00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:42,674 Do you know who this is? 252 00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:43,842 Mmm. Jason Jelly. 253 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,886 - That's right. - No, "Nathan Shelley." 254 00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:47,888 - Mmm. - That's right, Nathan Shelley, 255 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,891 manager of West Ham United, in my restaurant! 256 00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:53,769 - Big week, my guy. - Yep. 257 00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:57,814 Big fucking week. I'm Derek. I'm the manager here. 258 00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,359 Anything you need, you got it. 259 00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,987 - Okay. - From one manager to another. 260 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,864 Yeah, well, it's not... not quite the same, but... 261 00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:08,492 Facing your team this week. 262 00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:11,286 - That's gotta be hard-core, right? - Mmm. 263 00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:13,830 I mean, you talked a lot of shit about them in the press. 264 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:17,793 - Didn't ya? I loved it. - Sorry, can I, um... can I pay? 265 00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:19,490 No. No. No, no, no, no. 266 00:15:19,491 --> 00:15:23,793 This is on me, okay? On me. Understand? 267 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,636 This man's money is no good here. 268 00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:31,181 Never charge. Except for booze. Gotta charge for booze. 269 00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:32,891 I didn't order any booze. It's 12:30. 270 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:36,103 Knock 'em dead. 271 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:40,274 - Mmm. - Go Hammers! 272 00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:41,358 No way. 273 00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:45,070 Oi, oi, oi. Do you know who this is? 274 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:50,784 All right, okay. Bye. 275 00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:06,592 And cut! 276 00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:08,552 Lovely, Colin. Thank you. 277 00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:11,346 All right. Okay, Dani, you're up. 278 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,849 I'm very nervous. 279 00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:15,726 Oh, no, no. Don't be nervous. Look, just sit here. 280 00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:16,852 - Mm-hmm. - Look into the camera 281 00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:18,854 and pretend you're talking to an old friend. 282 00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:20,189 My oldest friend is Javiar. 283 00:16:20,189 --> 00:16:22,691 Great. How long have you known Javiar? 284 00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:26,278 Only a couple of months, but he turns 108 years old next week. 285 00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,615 - Perfect. - Yeah. 286 00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:31,825 Final checks. 287 00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:34,703 Thank you. 288 00:16:36,914 --> 00:16:38,123 - Hello, Keeley. - Hi. 289 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:41,919 Yeah. Just scoot to your left a little bit. 290 00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:45,172 Yeah, that's it. Okay, off you go, Dani. 291 00:16:45,756 --> 00:16:46,800 You may not know who I am, 292 00:16:46,801 --> 00:16:51,803 but I think the most beautiful parts of a woman are her flaws. 293 00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:55,807 - Hmm. - And cut! Thank you, Dani. Next! 294 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:56,892 Okay. 295 00:17:00,771 --> 00:17:02,689 - Brought you coffee. - Yeah. 296 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,900 - How's it going? - Oh, my God. This is great. 297 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,234 - Yeah? - They're great. 298 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,529 I just... I love being the boss. 299 00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:10,614 - Cheers to that. Yeah. - Cheers to that. 300 00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:11,990 Uh, you ready, Zoreaux? 301 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:14,660 Oh, uh, yeah, but I actually go by "Van Damme" now. 302 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,704 Okay, great. Action, Van Damme. 303 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,665 You don't know who I am, 304 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,377 but I'm looking for someone who likes short walks on the beach, 305 00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:26,964 so we can spend more time, you know... 306 00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:33,720 And cut. 307 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,515 Great, thanks, Van Damme. Next! 308 00:17:37,975 --> 00:17:40,018 - Van Damme? - Yeah. It's my new name. 309 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:42,229 Oh, cool. Why? 310 00:17:42,813 --> 00:17:44,106 Because I love Jean-Claude Van Damme, 311 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,149 and Zava told me I should be whoever I wanna be. 312 00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:49,611 - Okay, yeah. Cool. - All right, Van Damme. 313 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,321 - All right, boys. - Take it easy. 314 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:55,117 He's so fucking hot. 315 00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:56,493 What's his story? 316 00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:58,954 Jamie? Oh, he's so cocky. 317 00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:02,374 But I guess you have to be at this level. 318 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,751 But he only thinks about himself. 319 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,505 At least, he used to. 320 00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:11,049 Joking. No. 321 00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:14,469 But he's not accountable for his actions and what they do to others. 322 00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:19,391 Except he is getting better at making apologies. 323 00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:23,687 Still, he only thinks with his dick. 324 00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:29,109 And yet, I don't think he's seen anyone in ages. 325 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:33,655 I just wanna know if I can bang him, babe. 326 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:39,036 Oh. I don't know. 327 00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:41,580 You should probably ask him, it's his dick. 328 00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:43,916 Cool. Off you go, Jamie. 329 00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:53,842 Oh, what are y'all still doing here? 330 00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,844 Coach, you're gonna wanna watch this. 331 00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,137 Ooh, is it one of them videos 332 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,306 of a military parent coming home after a long tour? 333 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,600 'Cause if so, I'm gonna be eating tears and snot for dinner. 334 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,310 - Not quite. - Hmm. 335 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:46,895 Here we go. 336 00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,738 Where'd this come from? 337 00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:59,366 This fucking legend thought to pull the security footage 338 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,868 when we told him about the sign. 339 00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,661 I guess you can take the boy out of journalism 340 00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:04,329 but you can't take journalism out of the boy. 341 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:06,373 Right, you fucking ruined it now. The point is, 342 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,876 the answer we were looking for has arrived. 343 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:10,627 What are you talking about? 344 00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:14,047 A video like this could motivate a team, perhaps. 345 00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:15,716 Mm-hmm. 346 00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:19,011 Thank you for your help, Trent. 347 00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:21,805 May a young Robert Redford portray you in a film someday. 348 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:23,599 - Probably Dustin Hoffman. - Mm-hmm. 349 00:20:23,599 --> 00:20:24,850 - Good night. - Good night. 350 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,270 Go home, guys. Get some sleep. 351 00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:30,814 - Okay. - Mm-hmm. 352 00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:32,566 - Good night, Ted. Night, Beard. - Good night. 353 00:20:32,566 --> 00:20:33,650 Night, Coach. 354 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,868 - Uh, Coach. - Mmm. 355 00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:46,038 I was thinking about your Sassy situation. 356 00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:47,164 Oh, yeah. 357 00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,124 Jane's sister is in town. 358 00:20:49,124 --> 00:20:51,210 - No, thank you, Coach. - That's the right answer. 359 00:21:10,896 --> 00:21:13,106 Burning the midnight oil, I see. 360 00:21:14,191 --> 00:21:17,361 Uh, yeah. Sorry for the smell. 361 00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:20,489 The oil burning. 362 00:21:20,489 --> 00:21:22,533 Oh. 363 00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:25,452 So, you're feeling confident about this weekend? 364 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,705 Yeah. Yeah, no, I think so. Um... 365 00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:33,210 Yeah, no. Go... Yeah. We're gonna destroy, right? 366 00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,212 Good. 367 00:21:35,212 --> 00:21:37,422 No, it's j... Um... It's just, I... 368 00:21:39,675 --> 00:21:41,885 I just haven't seen Ted since I left and, uh... 369 00:21:43,887 --> 00:21:46,014 We didn't leave on the best of terms and... 370 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:50,018 I feel like I owe him an apology or something. 371 00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:52,312 You did what was best for you. 372 00:21:52,896 --> 00:21:54,314 What were you meant to do? 373 00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:57,025 Hang around, supporting Ted for the rest of your life? 374 00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:58,610 I don't think so. 375 00:22:05,117 --> 00:22:07,911 You've done nothing wrong, Nathan, I promise you. 376 00:22:09,872 --> 00:22:11,540 You earned this job. 377 00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:16,545 Well, so what do I say when I see him? 378 00:22:16,545 --> 00:22:19,756 You say nothing, apart from "hello." 379 00:22:21,091 --> 00:22:23,510 You look him in the eye. You shake his hand. 380 00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:26,763 And then you beat him. 381 00:22:29,183 --> 00:22:30,851 And then we go and celebrate. 382 00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:33,187 Okay. 383 00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:34,854 Good night, Nathan. 384 00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:40,986 Good night, Rupert. Thank you. 385 00:22:42,446 --> 00:22:43,572 Mr. Mannion. 386 00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:34,706 Hey. 387 00:23:35,374 --> 00:23:37,042 Working late? Or hardly working? 388 00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:39,294 Well, I don't think that's how the joke goes. 389 00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:40,504 What joke? 390 00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:42,798 Never mind. What's up? 391 00:23:46,051 --> 00:23:47,636 I really want to win this one. 392 00:23:48,929 --> 00:23:50,013 I know. 393 00:23:57,354 --> 00:23:58,522 Everything okay? 394 00:24:04,987 --> 00:24:06,238 Am I a mess? 395 00:24:06,238 --> 00:24:07,823 Of course you are. That's why we get along. 396 00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:16,373 And I wish I could tell you to ignore Sass, but she's usually right. 397 00:24:17,124 --> 00:24:19,815 So, Sassy already told you about the... 398 00:24:19,816 --> 00:24:20,919 Of course. Girl talk. 399 00:24:21,587 --> 00:24:22,588 Girl talk. 400 00:24:22,588 --> 00:24:25,674 Mm-hmm. Hmm. 401 00:24:25,674 --> 00:24:28,218 So, is everything all right? 402 00:24:30,012 --> 00:24:31,013 Yeah, I'm good. 403 00:24:31,013 --> 00:24:32,139 Oklahoma? 404 00:24:40,314 --> 00:24:41,982 I'm a work in "progmess." 405 00:24:48,071 --> 00:24:49,072 Good night, Ted. 406 00:24:53,118 --> 00:24:54,328 You already won, you know? 407 00:24:56,914 --> 00:24:58,457 You got that turkey out of your life. 408 00:25:02,878 --> 00:25:03,879 Beat them. 409 00:25:07,216 --> 00:25:08,300 Good night, boss. 410 00:25:45,295 --> 00:25:47,297 Oh! 411 00:25:54,930 --> 00:25:56,890 Oi, do I look all right? 412 00:25:56,890 --> 00:25:58,600 Of course you do. Why? 413 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,018 Well, if Jack actually shows up, 414 00:26:00,018 --> 00:26:03,272 I want him to think that I look mysterious and powerful. 415 00:26:03,272 --> 00:26:04,690 Dynamic, you know? 416 00:26:04,690 --> 00:26:09,570 - All of that. - You are mysterious, powerful and dynamic. 417 00:26:11,321 --> 00:26:14,157 Ooh. Shit, I'm nervous. 418 00:26:15,826 --> 00:26:17,828 I think I need to go and reapply my lip liner. 419 00:26:19,955 --> 00:26:21,790 - I'll see you upstairs in the suite. - Yep. 420 00:26:25,294 --> 00:26:27,045 Hey, Rebecca! 421 00:26:27,045 --> 00:26:29,590 - Rupert. - Wonderful to see you. 422 00:26:30,382 --> 00:26:33,218 - Bex. Love the new hair. - Hi. 423 00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:35,012 I haven't changed my hair. 424 00:26:35,012 --> 00:26:37,139 Nor should you. It's perfection. 425 00:26:38,557 --> 00:26:40,142 So, how's the little one? 426 00:26:40,142 --> 00:26:44,271 Oh, yeah, Diane. She's already walking. Can you believe that? 427 00:26:44,271 --> 00:26:47,191 Yeah. Drooling and pooing around the house. 428 00:26:47,191 --> 00:26:48,901 Takes after her father. 429 00:26:49,776 --> 00:26:54,114 Well. Hey, take it easy on us today. 430 00:26:54,114 --> 00:26:56,366 Aah. No promises. 431 00:27:08,253 --> 00:27:12,132 Oh, shit. 432 00:27:21,391 --> 00:27:22,476 Excuse me. 433 00:27:22,476 --> 00:27:24,978 I've got a bit of a situation here. 434 00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:31,818 Oh, thank you. But it's actually not that. 435 00:27:34,530 --> 00:27:36,532 You're a lifesaver! 436 00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:39,284 Usually I'm like clockwork, 437 00:27:39,284 --> 00:27:42,037 but because I've been so stressed, I've come on early. 438 00:27:43,455 --> 00:27:46,375 Oh, I'm so happy that it's a super and not a skinny. 439 00:27:46,375 --> 00:27:48,126 Who are those even for? 440 00:27:48,126 --> 00:27:49,676 It's not like my vagina is on a diet, 441 00:27:49,677 --> 00:27:52,256 I'm on my fucking period. 442 00:27:53,257 --> 00:27:54,883 Oi, thanks for helping me. 443 00:27:54,883 --> 00:27:56,385 And I love your shoes! 444 00:27:56,385 --> 00:27:58,053 Ah, yeah. Thanks. 445 00:27:58,053 --> 00:28:00,681 - Pay it forward. - Yeah. 446 00:28:05,894 --> 00:28:08,313 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Sorry. 447 00:28:08,313 --> 00:28:09,398 Excuse me. 448 00:28:11,775 --> 00:28:12,776 Hi. 449 00:28:14,778 --> 00:28:16,530 Boy, you're tall. 450 00:28:16,530 --> 00:28:19,032 Is your dad a tree or something? 451 00:28:19,032 --> 00:28:21,535 No, I'm screwing around. 452 00:28:21,535 --> 00:28:23,787 Hey, speaking of trees, who are y'all rooting for today? 453 00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:24,913 West Ham. 454 00:28:25,414 --> 00:28:28,000 Yeah, no, that makes sense. Yeah. 455 00:28:33,338 --> 00:28:36,300 Go ahead. Yeah. Going down one more floor. 456 00:28:36,300 --> 00:28:38,552 - Thank you. - Yeah, of course. 457 00:28:39,928 --> 00:28:41,096 Best of luck out there. 458 00:28:57,571 --> 00:28:59,156 Hey, Nate. That you? 459 00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:02,659 Oh. Hi. I didn't see you there. 460 00:29:02,659 --> 00:29:05,954 - Oh, that's okay. How you been, man? - Yeah, okay. 461 00:29:06,455 --> 00:29:08,457 Yeah. Good. Good. 462 00:29:14,296 --> 00:29:15,297 Listen, Ted. 463 00:29:16,298 --> 00:29:18,550 I... I just wanna say that... 464 00:29:18,550 --> 00:29:19,676 ... the way I left... 465 00:29:19,676 --> 00:29:22,971 Nathan. There you are. 466 00:29:24,264 --> 00:29:25,265 Yeah. 467 00:29:31,939 --> 00:29:33,398 Hey, Rupert. 468 00:29:34,107 --> 00:29:36,485 - Ted. - Nice to see you again. 469 00:29:37,152 --> 00:29:38,946 Good luck. 470 00:29:44,117 --> 00:29:46,828 - Keeley? Yeah. - She's absolutely fantastic. 471 00:29:46,828 --> 00:29:48,997 - Oh, here she is now. - Ah. 472 00:29:48,997 --> 00:29:52,584 - Hey. Hey. Yeah. - Um, Keeley? This is Jack Danvers. 473 00:29:52,584 --> 00:29:53,794 Hello. 474 00:29:55,003 --> 00:29:57,130 I believe you have something of mine. 475 00:29:59,383 --> 00:30:01,677 Oh, fuck. You're Jack? 476 00:30:02,970 --> 00:30:05,055 Ooh, this is a bit embarrassing. 477 00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:07,891 - No. - Yeah. We all thought you were a man. 478 00:30:07,891 --> 00:30:09,768 Yeah, that too. 479 00:30:09,768 --> 00:30:11,478 Oh, it's like that old riddle. 480 00:30:11,478 --> 00:30:13,939 - What riddle? - You know, always a tricky one, this one. 481 00:30:13,939 --> 00:30:15,566 A father and son are in a car wreck. 482 00:30:15,566 --> 00:30:19,403 Dad dies instantly, the son is rushed to an emergency room. 483 00:30:19,403 --> 00:30:21,446 A surgeon walks in and says, 484 00:30:21,446 --> 00:30:24,241 "I can't operate on this boy. He's my son." 485 00:30:24,241 --> 00:30:25,784 How is it possible? 486 00:30:25,784 --> 00:30:28,120 - Because she's a woman. - She's gay. 487 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,163 - Sperm donor. - He lives in a simulation? 488 00:30:30,831 --> 00:30:33,709 Right. Yeah, I guess that's a bit dated now. 489 00:30:34,293 --> 00:30:37,588 Um, so, I assume "Jack" is short for "Jacqueline," right? 490 00:30:37,588 --> 00:30:39,506 No. It's short for my father wanted a boy. 491 00:30:41,550 --> 00:30:45,721 I'm gonna go and sit down now, outside. Now. 492 00:30:45,721 --> 00:30:48,015 Jack, welcome. 493 00:30:48,015 --> 00:30:50,601 We are not allowed to take drinks to our seats. 494 00:30:50,601 --> 00:30:52,978 So if you want to get plastered, we should probably do that now. 495 00:30:52,978 --> 00:30:55,272 Mmm. Okay. 496 00:30:55,856 --> 00:30:57,566 Well, after you. 497 00:31:00,277 --> 00:31:03,071 Ah, you're so funny, Rebecca. 498 00:31:04,114 --> 00:31:07,242 Barbara's obsessed with Rebecca. 499 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,330 I hope she doesn't try and kill her and wear her skin as a suit. 500 00:31:15,918 --> 00:31:17,252 What the fuck? 501 00:31:17,252 --> 00:31:19,713 Cheers. It's gonna be a good day. 502 00:31:19,713 --> 00:31:21,757 - All right, Baz. - Oi! 503 00:31:22,841 --> 00:31:25,093 This is a Richmond pub. 504 00:31:26,178 --> 00:31:27,804 It's all right, Mae. He's with me. 505 00:31:32,643 --> 00:31:34,228 Get the fuck out! 506 00:31:39,525 --> 00:31:40,859 Come on, Richmond! 507 00:31:40,859 --> 00:31:43,612 Come on, Richmond! Come on, Richmond! 508 00:31:43,612 --> 00:31:45,447 It's a full house for today's battle 509 00:31:45,447 --> 00:31:49,451 between West Ham United and Zava's AFC Richmond. 510 00:31:49,451 --> 00:31:53,121 A win would take either team to the top spot in the table, 511 00:31:53,121 --> 00:31:56,250 knocking mighty Manchester City off number one. 512 00:31:56,792 --> 00:31:58,961 Should be a tight match, Chris. Any predictions? 513 00:31:58,961 --> 00:32:00,838 I stopped making predictions, Arlo. 514 00:32:00,838 --> 00:32:02,256 Because I was never wrong. 515 00:32:02,256 --> 00:32:05,592 Got to the point I was worried I was the one making things happen. 516 00:32:05,592 --> 00:32:07,010 Well, that's interesting. 517 00:32:07,010 --> 00:32:08,178 I knew you'd say that. 518 00:32:08,178 --> 00:32:10,681 ♪ They fade and die ♪ 519 00:32:10,681 --> 00:32:14,768 ♪ Fortune's always hiding ♪ 520 00:32:14,768 --> 00:32:18,522 ♪ I've looked everywhere ♪ 521 00:32:18,522 --> 00:32:22,442 ♪ I'm forever blowing bubbles ♪ 522 00:32:22,442 --> 00:32:26,405 ♪ Pretty bubbles in the air ♪ 523 00:32:26,405 --> 00:32:32,405 United! United! 524 00:32:36,081 --> 00:32:37,374 Uh, Nate. 525 00:32:39,209 --> 00:32:41,670 Let's have fun out there today, yeah? 526 00:33:06,695 --> 00:33:09,156 West Ham are quite happy to just soak up the pressure. 527 00:33:09,156 --> 00:33:12,659 Not taking any risks at all against Richmond, 528 00:33:12,659 --> 00:33:14,661 of all teams, at home. 529 00:33:15,412 --> 00:33:18,874 - A sign of how far Richmond have come. - It's all right. We're okay. 530 00:33:18,874 --> 00:33:20,459 What a threat Zava is. 531 00:33:20,459 --> 00:33:21,950 Richmond! To the right, to the right, to the right! 532 00:33:21,951 --> 00:33:23,837 Tight! Don't get scared. 533 00:33:27,716 --> 00:33:29,635 And it stays nil-nil, 534 00:33:29,635 --> 00:33:32,012 thanks to an amazing save by Zoreaux. 535 00:33:32,012 --> 00:33:34,223 - Van Damme. Van Damme. - Van Damme! 536 00:33:34,223 --> 00:33:36,183 I hear he wants to be called "Van Damme" now. 537 00:33:36,183 --> 00:33:37,100 Why?* 538 00:33:37,100 --> 00:33:39,686 Well, we'd probably have to dive into his childhood for that answer. 539 00:33:40,854 --> 00:33:44,650 Richmond need the key pass to unlock the Hammers' defense. 540 00:33:44,650 --> 00:33:45,734 That could be the one. 541 00:33:47,402 --> 00:33:48,946 - Tartt hits the woodwork. - No! 542 00:33:48,946 --> 00:33:51,031 - That was close. - Zava was wide open. 543 00:33:54,284 --> 00:33:55,953 For Zava! 544 00:33:56,828 --> 00:33:58,400 There'll be two more minutes 545 00:33:58,401 --> 00:34:00,721 in the first half of this scoreless, 546 00:34:00,791 --> 00:34:02,918 but pulsating, London derby. 547 00:34:04,586 --> 00:34:07,464 - Obisanya caught in possession. - No. No, no, no. 548 00:34:07,464 --> 00:34:09,675 And here come West Ham on the break. 549 00:34:10,467 --> 00:34:12,386 Armando bearing down on goal. 550 00:34:14,388 --> 00:34:15,639 - Yeah! - Yes! 551 00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:18,266 And it's there. Right under Van Damme. 552 00:34:18,266 --> 00:34:21,228 The Canadian keeper apparently not as unstoppable 553 00:34:21,228 --> 00:34:23,105 as the Muscles from Brussels. 554 00:34:23,105 --> 00:34:25,983 That's not fair, Arlo. Nobody is. 555 00:34:25,983 --> 00:34:27,943 - We've been here before. Come on. - Come on, lads. 556 00:34:27,943 --> 00:34:31,487 The Hammers go up 1-nil just before halftime. 557 00:34:32,072 --> 00:34:34,032 Fuck it. 558 00:34:34,032 --> 00:34:37,077 All right, guys. Come on, now. Let's end this half strong! 559 00:34:38,328 --> 00:34:39,621 Huddle. 560 00:34:42,623 --> 00:34:43,958 What's this shit? 561 00:34:45,043 --> 00:34:46,128 - Hmm. - I don't know. 562 00:34:46,128 --> 00:34:48,880 - Lower. Lower. Move it right. Five. - Brilliant. Brilliant. 563 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,257 - Right now, come on. Five. - Ref, just blow the fucking whistle. 564 00:34:55,429 --> 00:34:56,554 West Ham pressing now. 565 00:34:56,554 --> 00:34:58,515 - No, no. - A new tactic from the Hammers 566 00:34:58,515 --> 00:35:00,642 in the closing seconds of the first half. 567 00:35:00,642 --> 00:35:02,561 It's never too late to change, Arlo. 568 00:35:04,938 --> 00:35:07,816 - No! - Fuck! Fuck you! Fuck! 569 00:35:07,816 --> 00:35:11,028 And it's 2-nil. Oh, deary me. 570 00:35:15,616 --> 00:35:16,617 Excuse me. 571 00:35:20,829 --> 00:35:22,206 How did that happen? 572 00:35:23,415 --> 00:35:25,542 We go to halftime. 573 00:35:25,542 --> 00:35:27,586 Richmond have dominated possession, 574 00:35:27,586 --> 00:35:31,757 but out of absolutely nowhere, it's 2-nil to the Hammers. 575 00:35:31,757 --> 00:35:33,634 We don't deserve that. 576 00:35:33,634 --> 00:35:35,552 What the fuck just happened? 577 00:35:35,552 --> 00:35:36,803 I... I d... I don't know. 578 00:35:39,681 --> 00:35:41,475 Hey, fellas. Uh, I'll be right back. Okay? 579 00:35:41,475 --> 00:35:42,768 The fuck are you going? 580 00:35:42,768 --> 00:35:45,729 - I'll just be a minute or two, okay? - What do we t-tell... tell the team? 581 00:35:45,729 --> 00:35:47,481 I don't know. Surprise me. 582 00:35:53,195 --> 00:35:55,489 Hey, boss. What you doing down here? 583 00:35:55,489 --> 00:35:58,659 I just wanted to tell you that I believe in you, Ted. 584 00:35:58,659 --> 00:35:59,826 Uh-huh? 585 00:35:59,826 --> 00:36:02,955 And I know that I've been putting an awful lot of pressure on you 586 00:36:02,955 --> 00:36:07,793 to win today, but I just... just want you to forget all about that. 587 00:36:07,793 --> 00:36:11,588 Just... be yourself and have fun. 588 00:36:13,048 --> 00:36:14,049 - Okay. - Yeah. 589 00:36:14,049 --> 00:36:16,009 Okay. Well, thank you. 590 00:36:17,803 --> 00:36:19,555 I believe in you, Ted. 591 00:36:20,931 --> 00:36:23,016 And it's intense. 592 00:36:24,268 --> 00:36:26,395 - I better go. All right. - Off you pop. 593 00:36:28,897 --> 00:36:34,319 Remember, have fun! Whoo-hoo! 594 00:36:34,319 --> 00:36:37,906 Yes! This is so exciting! 595 00:36:37,906 --> 00:36:39,199 Whoo-hoo! 596 00:36:39,199 --> 00:36:40,701 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 597 00:36:43,287 --> 00:36:44,413 No. 598 00:36:52,838 --> 00:36:54,173 This is your surprise, huh? 599 00:36:54,715 --> 00:36:57,885 A minute ago, they were catatonic. Now look at them. 600 00:36:59,761 --> 00:37:02,472 - They're killers. - Frankly, Ted, sometimes that's good. 601 00:37:18,989 --> 00:37:21,200 Oh, my. Richmond coming out of the tunnel 602 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,452 with a palpable chip on their shoulder. 603 00:37:24,036 --> 00:37:25,815 Wow. A real tension on the pitch. 604 00:37:25,816 --> 00:37:28,207 I think we're in for an exciting half. 605 00:37:28,207 --> 00:37:29,420 We begin the second half 606 00:37:29,421 --> 00:37:31,335 with Richmond looking for a strong start. 607 00:37:31,335 --> 00:37:33,587 - Come on, boys. Fucking kill 'em. - Fucking kill 'em. 608 00:37:33,587 --> 00:37:34,963 - Here we go. Here we go! - Kill! 609 00:37:37,758 --> 00:37:40,052 - Ooh. That's an awful tackle. - Oh. 610 00:37:40,052 --> 00:37:41,845 - He would be fortunate to escape... - Oh, fuck. 611 00:37:41,845 --> 00:37:43,180 ... with just a yellow. 612 00:37:43,180 --> 00:37:45,098 It's a deserved red, and Richmond 613 00:37:45,098 --> 00:37:48,393 will play almost the entire second half with ten men. 614 00:37:49,686 --> 00:37:51,730 He's actually a very sweet young man. 615 00:37:53,273 --> 00:37:55,359 Here come West Ham. 616 00:37:55,359 --> 00:37:56,860 Aw. 617 00:37:58,362 --> 00:38:00,197 And now Van Damme has been sent off. 618 00:38:00,197 --> 00:38:02,783 - We're playing like Italians. - I know. 619 00:38:03,434 --> 00:38:04,451 It's awesome. 620 00:38:07,329 --> 00:38:08,914 Oh, dear. 621 00:38:20,592 --> 00:38:22,845 It's getting a touch spicy out there. 622 00:38:22,845 --> 00:38:26,139 Spicy, Arlo? This is vintage vindaloo. 623 00:38:28,475 --> 00:38:29,475 No. 624 00:38:41,196 --> 00:38:43,140 Oh, Montlaur has lost his mind, 625 00:38:43,141 --> 00:38:45,784 and Richmond have lost a third player. 626 00:38:46,827 --> 00:38:48,662 Om. 627 00:38:53,584 --> 00:38:55,210 Oof. 628 00:38:55,210 --> 00:38:57,004 Fucking come on. 629 00:38:57,588 --> 00:39:00,591 Richmond have completely lost the plot. 630 00:39:01,508 --> 00:39:05,137 Zava must be wondering what he's done to deserve this. 631 00:39:10,517 --> 00:39:12,060 Yes! 632 00:39:12,060 --> 00:39:14,104 And it's 4-1 to the Hammers. 633 00:39:14,104 --> 00:39:17,024 It went from evenly matched to unevenly matched 634 00:39:17,024 --> 00:39:21,069 to light a match on fire and put it into a can of petrol. 635 00:39:21,069 --> 00:39:23,488 That second half should've come with a trigger warning. 636 00:39:23,488 --> 00:39:27,826 One extraordinary goal by Zava did not make it any less tough to watch. 637 00:39:27,826 --> 00:39:31,496 Richmond showed a side of themselves we've never seen before. 638 00:39:31,496 --> 00:39:34,082 They played angry, dirty and ugly. 639 00:39:34,082 --> 00:39:37,127 Which are also the names of Zava's three youngest kids. 640 00:39:37,753 --> 00:39:39,213 Shit. 641 00:39:41,798 --> 00:39:42,799 Shit. 642 00:39:44,092 --> 00:39:45,135 Shit. 643 00:39:45,135 --> 00:39:47,262 - Hey, it's okay. - Shit. 644 00:39:52,059 --> 00:39:53,310 Did you guys have fun? 645 00:39:53,310 --> 00:39:54,394 Yeah. 646 00:39:54,394 --> 00:39:57,439 The violence was quite entertaining, wasn't it? In a way. 647 00:40:05,113 --> 00:40:07,324 Sending off Van Damme was a mistake. 648 00:40:08,033 --> 00:40:09,326 He played with passion. 649 00:40:10,536 --> 00:40:13,080 "Passion" is a word we use when we talk about love. 650 00:40:14,706 --> 00:40:17,960 It is also a word we use to describe a crime. 651 00:40:19,670 --> 00:40:21,213 Sometimes it is also a fruit. 652 00:40:25,759 --> 00:40:27,094 Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry. 653 00:40:48,782 --> 00:40:51,368 - We fucked up. - We overcorrected and played with hate. 654 00:40:51,368 --> 00:40:52,452 Mmm. 655 00:40:54,162 --> 00:40:56,957 - Be great if you yelled at us a bit. - Please. 656 00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:01,170 - Call us pieces of shit or something. - Now. 657 00:41:02,671 --> 00:41:03,881 You can hit us. 658 00:41:03,881 --> 00:41:05,132 Get it over with. 659 00:41:06,967 --> 00:41:09,011 Tried something new. It didn't work. Big whoop. 660 00:41:11,388 --> 00:41:13,432 I will take that thumb drive one of y'all's got. 661 00:41:22,441 --> 00:41:25,319 Shake it off, fellas. Lot of football left this season. 662 00:41:29,323 --> 00:41:31,491 - What a fucking arsehole. - I know. 663 00:41:31,491 --> 00:41:33,436 You have to feel pretty good about yourself 664 00:41:33,437 --> 00:41:34,453 after that win, yeah? 665 00:41:34,453 --> 00:41:36,788 Well, yeah. Uh, Richmond were clearly rattled. 666 00:41:36,788 --> 00:41:40,292 Um, it was easier than I expected, if I'm honest. 667 00:41:40,292 --> 00:41:41,376 What about Ted? 668 00:41:41,376 --> 00:41:44,254 Quite a snub not to shake his hand at the end of the game. 669 00:41:45,464 --> 00:41:48,842 Did I not? I... I didn't mean to. 670 00:41:48,842 --> 00:41:52,554 I... Guess I just got caught up in the excitement of it all. 671 00:41:52,554 --> 00:41:54,348 Yeah. 672 00:41:55,140 --> 00:41:56,183 Excuse me a minute. I just... 673 00:42:08,570 --> 00:42:11,323 Coach Shelley, Mr. Mannion asked me to give you this. 674 00:42:13,158 --> 00:42:14,701 He'll meet you there in an hour. 675 00:42:16,203 --> 00:42:18,372 Oh. Thank... 676 00:42:36,390 --> 00:42:39,017 - It's so good to see you, Rebecca. - You too, Bex. 677 00:42:39,017 --> 00:42:40,978 Oh, Rebecca, my dear. 678 00:42:40,978 --> 00:42:44,731 - So sorry for your loss. - Thank you. 679 00:42:44,731 --> 00:42:47,150 Come on, old man. It's way past your bedtime. 680 00:42:51,405 --> 00:42:53,115 Lovely to see you. 681 00:42:53,699 --> 00:42:55,284 I saw you with your assistant. 682 00:42:56,660 --> 00:42:58,912 Your daughter deserves better, and so does Bex. 683 00:42:59,997 --> 00:43:01,248 Stop fucking around. 684 00:43:10,007 --> 00:43:11,842 Here you go. 685 00:43:11,842 --> 00:43:15,012 We are normally a lot better than that. And nicer. 686 00:43:15,012 --> 00:43:17,604 Well, it's never great when your team 687 00:43:17,605 --> 00:43:19,808 gets more red cards than goals, is it? 688 00:43:19,808 --> 00:43:21,643 No. 689 00:43:21,643 --> 00:43:24,563 What a shit show. 690 00:43:25,856 --> 00:43:28,025 Anyway, good news. Bantr's trending. 691 00:43:28,025 --> 00:43:29,151 - It is? - Yeah. 692 00:43:29,151 --> 00:43:32,154 Pretty sure the change to the bio line helped. 693 00:43:32,696 --> 00:43:33,947 What are you talking about? 694 00:43:38,368 --> 00:43:39,620 Who did this? 695 00:43:39,620 --> 00:43:42,956 I did. This afternoon, when I uploaded the vids. 696 00:43:42,956 --> 00:43:44,833 You're welcome. 697 00:43:46,335 --> 00:43:47,628 - Shandy. - Yeah. 698 00:43:49,213 --> 00:43:53,634 This... This is the opposite of what Bantr is trying to do. 699 00:43:53,634 --> 00:43:55,969 Are you joking? They're gonna love it. 700 00:43:55,969 --> 00:43:58,555 I've literally tripled their subscribers in an hour. 701 00:43:59,765 --> 00:44:03,227 You need to change this back, now. Please. 702 00:44:04,394 --> 00:44:05,395 Yeah. 703 00:44:07,481 --> 00:44:09,441 It was really lovely to meet you. 704 00:44:10,192 --> 00:44:12,486 - You too. - Excuse me. 705 00:44:18,283 --> 00:44:21,912 Hey. Here he is! 706 00:44:21,912 --> 00:44:24,456 The Wonder Kid himself. 707 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,919 The man of the hour! 708 00:44:28,919 --> 00:44:31,380 Aw. Thank you very much, Mr. Mannion. 709 00:44:31,380 --> 00:44:34,341 Please, no. "Rupert." 710 00:44:34,341 --> 00:44:36,510 - Oh. - Nathan. 711 00:44:36,510 --> 00:44:39,221 Oh. Thanks, Ms. Kakes. That's... 712 00:44:39,221 --> 00:44:43,642 And, uh, Nathan, allow me to introduce Anastasia. 713 00:44:45,185 --> 00:44:46,186 Huge fan. 714 00:44:49,439 --> 00:44:50,816 Oh, my God. You're famous. 715 00:44:50,816 --> 00:44:52,234 So are you. 716 00:44:57,990 --> 00:44:59,741 Congratulations to your victory. 717 00:45:00,450 --> 00:45:01,994 Oh, yeah. Thank you. 718 00:45:04,872 --> 00:45:05,873 Mmm. 719 00:45:10,460 --> 00:45:12,504 Come on, Tartt! One more before dinner! 720 00:45:14,756 --> 00:45:17,467 Let's go, Coach. 721 00:45:22,973 --> 00:45:24,516 That was hard to watch. 722 00:45:24,516 --> 00:45:26,154 Thierry, West Ham's domination today 723 00:45:26,155 --> 00:45:28,437 saw Ted Lasso being totally exposed 724 00:45:28,437 --> 00:45:30,522 by his former assistant Nate Shelley. 725 00:45:30,522 --> 00:45:33,942 Gary, I love this quote from a Chinese philosopher, Laozi, 726 00:45:33,942 --> 00:45:36,612 "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. 727 00:45:36,612 --> 00:45:40,157 When the student is truly ready, the teacher will disappear." 728 00:45:40,157 --> 00:45:41,241 The Greyhounds... 729 00:46:10,854 --> 00:46:12,022 - Hi, Ted. - Hey. 730 00:46:12,606 --> 00:46:13,649 Sorry about the match. 731 00:46:13,649 --> 00:46:16,151 No, no. That's all right. It was a tough one. 732 00:46:16,151 --> 00:46:18,320 Henry's not here right now. He's at a birthday party, 733 00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:19,404 - but I'll... - No, that's okay. 734 00:46:19,404 --> 00:46:22,035 I w... I was actually hoping just to chat with you. 735 00:46:22,036 --> 00:46:23,036 You... You... You got a minute? 736 00:46:23,659 --> 00:46:25,744 Sure. Is everything okay? 737 00:46:25,744 --> 00:46:30,040 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh... Well, uh... No. 738 00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,583 You know, I... I just, um... 739 00:46:33,001 --> 00:46:35,587 I wanted to say something real quick. Um... 740 00:46:37,631 --> 00:46:39,216 Look, I, uh... 741 00:46:39,716 --> 00:46:44,054 I know that you and I aren't, you know, together anymore. 742 00:46:44,596 --> 00:46:45,931 A-And... And I respect that. 743 00:46:45,931 --> 00:46:48,976 Okay? I... I do. Um... 744 00:46:52,938 --> 00:46:55,649 But, um... Well, uh, you know, 745 00:46:55,649 --> 00:46:59,152 this whole thing with you and Dr. Jacob really ticks me off. 746 00:47:01,029 --> 00:47:04,324 And I'm upset that we didn't ever really get to talk about it 747 00:47:04,324 --> 00:47:06,159 before it all started. 748 00:47:07,911 --> 00:47:08,912 Yeah. 749 00:47:08,912 --> 00:47:13,625 A-And l-look, I understand that m-me saying all this, 750 00:47:13,625 --> 00:47:17,129 uh, might be the wrong thing to do, but... 751 00:47:19,339 --> 00:47:22,926 I just feel like not saying it... 752 00:47:26,346 --> 00:47:28,056 i-i-isn't the, um... 753 00:47:29,975 --> 00:47:31,602 Well, wouldn't be the right thing either. 754 00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:37,774 'Cause we gotta raise this little boy together, you know? 755 00:47:40,110 --> 00:47:42,571 We're stuck with each other. We're gonna share grandkids. 756 00:47:49,203 --> 00:47:50,787 I love you, Michelle. 757 00:47:53,624 --> 00:47:54,958 And I love Henry. 758 00:47:59,838 --> 00:48:01,548 And I love our family. 759 00:48:03,759 --> 00:48:05,177 No matter what it looks like. 760 00:48:12,184 --> 00:48:13,185 Okay? 761 00:48:16,230 --> 00:48:17,231 Of course. 762 00:48:21,818 --> 00:48:24,196 Well, uh, I'll talk to y'all soon. 763 00:48:25,155 --> 00:48:27,741 Have a good night. Tell... Tell Henry I love him. 764 00:48:28,575 --> 00:48:29,618 Good night, Ted. 765 00:48:55,000 --> 00:49:00,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -