1 00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:04,546 [airport announcer] Welcome to London Heathrow. 2 00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:07,925 For your security, do not leave any personal items unattended. 3 00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:12,930 [assistant] This is the final boarding call for flight 822 to Kansas City. 4 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:16,225 Final boarding for flight 822. 5 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,101 [phone chimes] 6 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,237 [airport assistant] Paging passenger Lasso. 7 00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:29,905 Report to the ticket desk. 8 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:33,700 Paging passenger Lasso. Please report to the ticket desk. 9 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,411 Buddy, we gotta roll. Come on. Let's go. 10 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,497 Your mom sent you a text. 11 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,499 Come on, go. 12 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,836 - Henry Lasso. Passenger Henry Lasso. - Hey, we're here. We're here. 13 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,295 Sorry about that. 14 00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:46,547 We got distracted. 15 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,341 Little guy was trying to unlock Princess Peach on Super Smash Bros. 16 00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,843 - [chuckles] - Totally understand. 17 00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:52,636 I once held an entire flight to Sydney hostage 18 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:54,847 until I finished the final level of Breath of the Wild. 19 00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:57,808 Hmm. Feels like a potentially troublesome sentence to say in this setting, 20 00:00:57,808 --> 00:00:59,101 but, hey, I appreciate you. 21 00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:02,980 Hello, Henry. It's nice to see you again. Are you excited to head back home? 22 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,857 To all my toys? Yes. 23 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:07,651 To my country's political landscape? Not so much. 24 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:08,777 [Ted] Mmm. Yeah. 25 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,738 Well, I have a tendency to doze off with CNN on. [chuckles] 26 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,366 All right, big guy. Let's get you all set up here. 27 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,994 iPad's all loaded up with a bunch of movies, 28 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,413 so no need to watch your neighbor's screen, okay? 29 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,499 Less movies about clowns in sewers, the better, right? [chuckles] 30 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:23,834 Amen, Big Ben. 31 00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:24,751 - Mmm. - Oh, here. 32 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,087 - Dad, uh, I made you something. - [Ted] What you got? 33 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,256 Oh! Hey. 34 00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:32,342 A little tiny Premier League trophy? All right! 35 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,428 I can't wait to drink champagne out of this sucker, you know? 36 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,429 - [gulping] - [both chuckle] 37 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,557 I mean, it's just to have until you win the real one. 38 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,100 Oh, well, hey. You never know, right? 39 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,394 I'm sorry, Mr. Lasso, but we are pressed for time. 40 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,188 [stammers] Uh, of course. Of course. Okay. 41 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:47,357 Whoo! Six weeks goes by real quick when you're having fun, don't it? 42 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:48,400 [chuckles] 43 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,902 Hey, do me a favor. When you get home, 44 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:52,821 will you give your mom a big squeeze from me to let her know I love her? Yeah? 45 00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:54,907 But until then, here, you bring it in. Come on. 46 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,409 All right. 47 00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:01,830 Mmm. Okay. Okay. Hey. I love you, buddy. 48 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,123 I love you too, Dad. 49 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:06,668 Yeah. All right. Okay. Get out of here. 50 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:07,878 Come on. 51 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,963 [airport announcer 2] Passengers on Flight 2492... 52 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,048 [Ted sighs] 53 00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:13,884 ...with service to JFK airport, we are now boarding. 54 00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:24,937 [chuckles] 55 00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,855 [airport announcer 3] ...to Amsterdam has been delayed 56 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:29,191 and will now be departing from Gate 17. 57 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,443 We apologize for any inconvenience. 58 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,243 - [Sharon on phone] Good morning, Ted. - Hey, Doc. 59 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,747 - How're you feeling? - Yeah, no. I'm fine. Yeah. 60 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,963 [Sharon] So, how did the drop-off go? 61 00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,130 [Ted] For me or for him? 62 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,091 'Cause I think those are two very different answers. 63 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:56,885 But no, I'm fine, I think. I don't know. 64 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,304 I just feel kinda guilty about the little guy 65 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,306 flying all by himself again, you know? 66 00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,685 [Sharon] I understand, Ted. But children are resilient. 67 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:08,146 And a sense of autonomy at Henry's age is good for him. 68 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,482 [Ted] No, I know. That's true. 69 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:14,194 I remember being left at school when I was Henry's age. 70 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,780 I ended up helping our custodian, Mr. Maher, clean half the school 71 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,408 until my dad remembered to come pick me up. [chuckles] 72 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,660 He gave Mr. Maher cash for babysitting me. 73 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,120 I showed up to school the next day 74 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,164 and Mr. Maher gave me the money as payment for the work I'd done. 75 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:28,709 So then I used that money to buy him a thank-you gift, 76 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,419 but never got the chance to give it to him, 77 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,671 'cause, well, he ended up getting hit by a train. 78 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:35,048 [Sharon] Oh, wow. I didn't see that coming. 79 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,009 [Ted] Yeah, well, neither did Mr. Maher. 80 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:38,177 [grunts] 81 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:39,970 [Sharon] How are things at work? 82 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,055 Are you feeling good about the upcoming season? 83 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,307 [Ted] Oh, yeah. Uh, sure. 84 00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:46,643 Well, I guess I do sometimes wonder what the heck I'm still doing here. 85 00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:50,105 I-- I mean, I know why I came, 86 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,733 but it's the sticking around I can't quite figure out. 87 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,570 - [Sharon] You don't quit things, Ted. - [Ted] Right. Right. Yeah. 88 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:57,863 But, hey, maybe my being here 89 00:03:57,863 --> 00:04:00,365 is doing more hurting than helping at this point, you know? 90 00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:05,287 [Sharon] Well, as the man once said, "Doubt can only be removed by action." 91 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,789 - [Ted] Ooh, I like that. - [Sharon] I thought you would. [chuckles] 92 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,667 - We only have a couple of minutes left. - [Ted] Ah, okay. 93 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,295 Hey, you still cool with me asking you some personal questions? 94 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:15,714 [Sharon sighs] For now, yes. Go on. 95 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:16,882 [Ted] Hey! 96 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:18,841 Holy smokes, I love that hat. 97 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:22,012 I recognize you from that show Leaky Diapers, don't I? Huh? [chuckles] 98 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,431 - [Ted] Okay, let's see. You dating anyone? - [Sharon] Pass. 99 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,225 [Ted] Ooh! You usually say no to that one. 100 00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:27,184 [Sharon chuckles] 101 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:29,102 - [Ted] What team you with right now? - [Sharon] Can't say. 102 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,271 - [Ted] Okay. All right. Well, what sport? - [Sharon] Can't say. 103 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,190 [Ted] Uh-huh. How many Australians you got on the team? 104 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,193 - [Sharon] Nine. - [Ted] Oh, rugby. Mmm. What a game. 105 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:39,446 It's like American football and sumo wrestling gave birth to a baby 106 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,823 with huge muscular thighs all caked in mud. 107 00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,200 Okay, Ted. I need to go. 108 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,868 [Ted] Okay. Talk to you later, Doc. 109 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,787 - Goodbye, Ted. - [Ted] All right now. 110 00:04:58,882 --> 00:04:59,967 You finally got off. 111 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,635 Not yet, I didn't. 112 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,136 [chuckles] 113 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:06,598 [chuckles] 114 00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,518 {\an8}[theme music plays] 115 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,707 {\an8}Bloody hell! 116 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:35,169 {\an8}All of them. All of them have us finishing last this season. 117 00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:36,879 {\an8}Mmm. It's really rather annoying, isn't it? 118 00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:40,007 {\an8}Every newspaper, every television pundit, 119 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:45,804 {\an8}every lonely middle-aged sports-blogging loser writing in his mother's basement. 120 00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:48,932 {\an8}Oh, you know, Rebecca, that stereotype really isn't true anymore. 121 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:51,894 {\an8}For example, our ten-year-old, Terry, started writing a sports blog 122 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,813 {\an8}in our kitchen, which we now call his home office. 123 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,356 {\an8}For tax purposes. 124 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,776 {\an8}Right, well I apologize for the generalization. 125 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:00,819 {\an8}[inhales sharply] 126 00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,571 {\an8}Where does your son have us finishing? 127 00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,907 {\an8}- [gagging] - [door opens] 128 00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:06,617 {\an8}- Hey, y'all. - Hey, Ted. 129 00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:07,701 {\an8}- Good morning, Ted. - Mmm. 130 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,662 {\an8}Oh. No rhyming salutation. Something wrong? 131 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,164 {\an8}Way to notice, Amos Otis. 132 00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:14,499 {\an8}Yeah. Henry went back to Kansas this morning. 133 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:16,043 {\an8}- Oh. Thank you. - Mm-hmm. Yep, yep. 134 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,128 {\an8}Dropped him off at the airport a little bit ago. 135 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:20,756 {\an8}Now he's up in a plane, 10,000 feet in the sky. 136 00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:22,799 {\an8}- I think they fly higher than that. - Definitely. 137 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:25,636 {\an8}Yeah, well, I'm down here on Earth checking my phone every ten minutes, 138 00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,930 {\an8}watching his plane get further and further away. [chuckles] 139 00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:28,847 {\an8}[inhales sharply] Yeah. 140 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:31,975 {\an8}But, hey, I didn't mean to come in here and tinkle on y'all's toenails. 141 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,519 {\an8}What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening. 142 00:06:33,519 --> 00:06:36,230 {\an8}Well, apparently, everyone alive has picked Richmond 143 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,856 {\an8}to finish in 20th place this season. 144 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,650 {\an8}- Hmm. - Except the Daily Mirror, 145 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:41,568 {\an8}which has us finishing "twentyelf." 146 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,320 {\an8}An adorable but devastating typo. 147 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,905 {\an8}Hmm. Okay. Well, you know what? 148 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,157 {\an8}I predict all their predictions ain't gonna come true. 149 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,743 {\an8}So, it looks like we got ourselves a prediction Mexican standoff. 150 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,787 {\an8}Or as they call them in Mexico, a prediction standoff. 151 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,747 {\an8}[chuckles] Well, the worst part is that 152 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,958 {\an8}they've picked Rupert to finish in the top four. 153 00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,292 {\an8}Rupert's gonna play this year? 154 00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,627 {\an8}What? No. 155 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,045 {\an8}Oh, so you mean West Ham? 156 00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,422 {\an8}Precisely. Everyone thinks he's better than us. 157 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,259 {\an8}They. Everyone thinks they are better than us. 158 00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,844 {\an8}Yes, that's what I said. They. 159 00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:09,346 {\an8}So, what's the plan? How are we gonna beat him? 160 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:10,806 {\an8}- Them. - Exactly. 161 00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:11,974 {\an8}Oh, boy. 162 00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:14,184 {\an8}Mmm. You know, this might be a good time 163 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:17,771 {\an8}for us to update our roster. Put some more firepower in the team. 164 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,898 {\an8}That is a great idea, Leslie. 165 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:22,568 {\an8}Let's put some feelers out, shall we? Ted? 166 00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,361 {\an8}[stammers] Well, I know Roy and Coach Beard 167 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,029 {\an8}are working on some new tactics. 168 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:28,490 {\an8}And, you know, the fellas we got are already gelling real nice. 169 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,033 {\an8}I think we're gonna do fine this season. 170 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,536 {\an8}Ted, this team doing "just fine" is a far cry 171 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,454 {\an8}from you telling me we're going to win the whole thing. 172 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,415 - Whoa! - Whoa, did I really say that? 173 00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:39,251 Yes, you did. Over there after the Man City loss. 174 00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:42,254 Just before you blasted half a liter of Pellegrino in my face. 175 00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,298 - Oh, right. - Wait, what happened? 176 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:47,593 That is the Ted Lasso I want coaching my team this season. 177 00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:49,344 The one who's willing to fight. 178 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,804 - Understood? - Yes, ma'am. 179 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:51,889 You watch, from now on, 180 00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:54,141 I'll be floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee. 181 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,185 Except I won't die immediately after using my stinger. 182 00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:58,562 I plan to float and sting for the entirety of the whole season. 183 00:07:58,562 --> 00:07:59,855 [sighs] Excellent. 184 00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:01,773 Right, if you'll excuse me, 185 00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:05,736 I have a very important lunch meeting with one Ms. Keeley Jones... 186 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,779 - Ooh! - ...for some much-needed girl talk. 187 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,573 Hey, tell her we said howdy and... 188 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,158 Yo. 189 00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:12,910 Okay. 190 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,121 - You say "yo"? - Yeah, I know. It just popped out-- 191 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,456 Oh, no. I'm not judging. I loved it. 192 00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:18,790 - I wanna make sure I heard right. - Okay. Yeah. 193 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:19,917 [players chattering] 194 00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:21,668 - But I-- But I feel like... - Yeah. 195 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,128 That makes sense, right? I could put my-- 196 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:26,673 - What? Another one? Dead last. - [players groaning] 197 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,550 Dead last? Who wrote that? 198 00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,052 Fucking everybody, bruv. 199 00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:32,929 Glenn Hoddle, Graeme Souness, Jermaine Jenas-- 200 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,722 Maybe they're trying to motivate us. 201 00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:36,475 [O'Brien] Yeah. Thank you very much, Dani. 202 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,184 I had a woman accost me on the street, 203 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,977 telling me I should fake an injury this season 204 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,522 so I wouldn't have to deal with the misery. 205 00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:42,856 Did you tell her to piss off? 206 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,192 - No, she was a nun. - Oh. 207 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,444 - [player laughs] Wait, a nun? - [speaks Spanish] 208 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,404 They must get Sky Sports in the monasteries. 209 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,823 - [players chattering] - Hey. Hey, hey, lads. Hey. 210 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,867 We ain't gonna get relegated 'cause we're together. 211 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,202 [players mumbling] 212 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,704 And together, we got me. 213 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,081 [players groaning] 214 00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:00,582 Statistically speaking, 215 00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:03,252 most teams who get promoted are relegated the very next year. 216 00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:06,338 - [players clamoring] Come on, Jan Maas! - Jan Maas! 217 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:09,007 - That's what happens in the Pre-- - Shut the fuck up, Jan Maas. 218 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,802 It's the Premier League. It's just statistics, man. 219 00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,263 So I finally watched it. 220 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:15,556 [Coach Beard] Mm-hmm. 221 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,474 - I liked it. - Mmm. 222 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,518 - Gene Hackman was good. - [Coach Beard] Mm-hmm. 223 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:21,270 - The drunk geezer. - Mmm. 224 00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:22,563 - Stuff with the team. - Mmm. 225 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:24,648 I did have one question. 226 00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:25,941 Yeah, what's that? 227 00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:28,193 Why the fuck is it called Hoosiers? 228 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,236 [inhales sharply] Ah. 229 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,863 Hey, what's up, sweetie pie? 230 00:09:30,863 --> 00:09:32,990 Oh! What's the frequency, Roy Kenteth? 231 00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:34,950 What you doing? Working on new trick plays or something? 232 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:37,786 No tricks, just an old classic. [sighs] Take it away, Coach. 233 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:40,289 This is the best way for us to play this season. 234 00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:42,457 The 4-4-2, which is-- 235 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,918 Four defenders, four in the midfield, and two up front. 236 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:45,836 Yeah, I got it. 237 00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,129 God, I'm proud of you. 238 00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,548 Yeah. Henry and I played a whole bunch of FIFA while he was here. 239 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,967 Very helpful. You know, we both learned who Maradona was, 240 00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:55,137 and I had to explain to my son why cocaine is actually bad for you. 241 00:09:55,137 --> 00:09:56,180 Please, keep going. 242 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:59,766 Right. These little pricks have played 4-4-2 ever since they were kids, 243 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,269 which means they'll always know what they're supposed to do, 244 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,605 and more importantly, where they're supposed to be 245 00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:07,357 at every fucking minute of every fucking game 246 00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,026 against every fucking opponent. 247 00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:11,945 Yeesh. Who invented this thing, the Russians? [chuckles] 248 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,238 [both] Yeah. 249 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,531 Oh, okay. Uh-- 250 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:17,201 Well, hey, if you think it's a good idea, I think it's a great one. 251 00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:18,452 - Let's do it. - Okay. 252 00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:22,039 And look, I know I don't have Nate's fucking tactical super-brain, 253 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,709 but I do know it's more important to be solid than clever 254 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:26,793 when you're the underdogs. 255 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,713 Yeah, the underdog. Right. No. Okay. I hear you, loud and clear. Yeah. 256 00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:31,882 Hey, Coach. How come you never hear of an "overdog"? 257 00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:37,304 Uh, in German, the "Überhund," but in English, we say "top dog." 258 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:40,682 - Oh. - Or more specifically, West Ham. 259 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,768 [both grumble] 260 00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,436 ["Follow the Leader" playing] 261 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,042 Good morning, Coach Shelley. 262 00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:35,654 There he is. The Wonder Kid himself. 263 00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:36,697 Get out. 264 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,587 [Keeley] I understand. 265 00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:53,964 I just don't think Ms. Welton will have a whole lot to say 266 00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:57,676 about the unfair advantage of being a female owner in sports. 267 00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:58,844 - [gasps] - [Keeley] Thank you. 268 00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:01,305 Fuck you, Joe Rogan. 269 00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:04,308 - [screams] - [gasps, laughs] 270 00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:06,935 [Keeley laughs, exclaims] 271 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:07,936 Sorry, everyone. 272 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:11,064 - This is my friend, my former boss... - [chuckles] 273 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,443 - ...my angel-mentor-guru, Rebecca. - Oh. 274 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:20,157 And, Rebecca, these are the poets and the geniuses behind KJPR. 275 00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:22,576 - Ah. Hello. Uh... - Hello. 276 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,329 Why don't you step into my office? 277 00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:27,247 - Yeah? Come on. Yeah. - [chuckles] 278 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,332 [shivers] Ooh. 279 00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,876 God, it's like a real office out there. 280 00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:33,754 People typing and being awkward and everything. 281 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,797 - It's so bananas, right? - [chuckles] 282 00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:38,550 Oh, and I found out why I got such a good deal on this place. 283 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:41,261 Oh, I love a bit of corporate real estate scuttlebutt. 284 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,262 That. Yeah. [grunts] 285 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,889 So, the previous tenants, 286 00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:46,433 they had to break the lease because the boss kept getting caught 287 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,852 pinching his employees' butts all the time. 288 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:52,231 Oh, well. One man's grope is another woman's gain. 289 00:12:52,231 --> 00:12:55,359 It does explain why my office comes with fun features like this. 290 00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,443 Look. Watch. 291 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,615 [gasps] Yikes. But also quite cool. 292 00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:05,118 [sobbing] 293 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,495 Hey, it's all right. 294 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:07,996 Hey! 295 00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:11,208 Hey, you're all right. I'm here. Hey. 296 00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:15,170 I'm so busy, I literally have to make time in my schedule 297 00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,673 to sit at my desk and cry. [sobs] 298 00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:19,341 Oh. 299 00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:21,343 And now I've double-booked you. [sobbing] 300 00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:25,597 - Oh, come here! [laughs] - [sobbing] 301 00:13:28,392 --> 00:13:29,810 You know who else picked us to finish last? 302 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:30,936 Please don't say Adele. 303 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,062 Paddington Bear. 304 00:13:32,563 --> 00:13:34,731 - It was on his Twitter account. - Yeah, I saw that. 305 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,776 On a scale of one marmalade sandwich to five marmalade sandwiches, 306 00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,152 we've got no marmalade sandwiches. 307 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,322 Even that sweet little bear does not believe in us. 308 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,533 I think it's probably other people writing for him. 309 00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:46,827 - Wait, what? - [Thierry] Yeah. 310 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:47,953 [Ted] Hmm. 311 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,913 What the heck is going on out here? 312 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:53,000 These guys are more distracted than a bunch of cats playing laser tag. 313 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,169 They heard all the pundits saying we suck. 314 00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:56,336 Fuck pundits. 315 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,504 You were a pundit. 316 00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:01,633 Yeah. And all we did was talk shit and eat fucking meringues. 317 00:14:02,426 --> 00:14:04,970 Hey, Coach, I don't know about you, but it kinda feels like 318 00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:06,805 it's getting a little stuffy in here, yeah? 319 00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:09,558 Like one of those days you wanna have class outside? 320 00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,476 - Mm-hmm. - [chuckles] 321 00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,396 What the fuck are you two talking about? We are outside. 322 00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,398 - [chuckles] - [chuckles] 323 00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:17,649 - Hey, Will. - Yeah? 324 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,234 - Come here. - Yeah. 325 00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:20,861 Hey, is Kenneth around today? 326 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,613 Uh, yeah, no. Kenneth lives here. 327 00:14:22,613 --> 00:14:24,948 [chuckles] Yeah. No, he does work a lot, don't he? 328 00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:27,951 [stammers] No, no, no. As in, he-- He literally lives here at the facility. 329 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,828 - He does? Since when? - Yeah. 330 00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:31,955 Uh, ever since his cult got shut down. 331 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,624 - Oh. Kenneth was in a cult? - Mmm. 332 00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:36,168 No, no, no, no, no. He-- He was the leader of one. 333 00:14:36,168 --> 00:14:37,711 Wow. Okay. 334 00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:40,339 Well, you mind asking him to bring the team bus around for me? 335 00:14:40,339 --> 00:14:41,882 - Yeah, yeah. - All right. Appreciate you. 336 00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:46,261 - Shall we? - [whistle blows] 337 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:47,888 Okay, fellas. 338 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,974 This segment of today's training is now complete. 339 00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:53,685 I need everyone to go hop on the bus. 340 00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,312 We're taking practice on the road, 341 00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:58,607 and last one in the parking lot has to eat a little bug! 342 00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:00,567 Everyone run except Roy! Let's go! 343 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,069 [players clamoring] 344 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,655 - Run, run, run! - Let's go, let's go! 345 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,035 - I feel so much better. [chuckles] - [Rebecca] Mmm. 346 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:13,622 Crying is the best, isn't it? It's like an orgasm for the soul. 347 00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:15,082 - Oh. - [chuckles] 348 00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:16,875 You know, in the last three years married to Rupert, 349 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:19,503 I don't think I cried once about anything. 350 00:15:20,379 --> 00:15:22,422 Not even a John Lewis Christmas commercial. 351 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,842 Oh, I'm really sorry again about your blouse. 352 00:15:24,842 --> 00:15:26,844 What are you talking about? It's barely noticeable. 353 00:15:26,844 --> 00:15:28,929 Pfft! [chuckles] 354 00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:33,225 Oi, sucks butt that everyone's predicted Richmond to finish last. 355 00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:35,269 - I mean, what filthy cocks. - Mmm. 356 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,895 You're not worried about that though, right? 357 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:39,314 No, not really. [inhales sharply] 358 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,775 I'm a bit worried that Ted isn't worried enough. 359 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,694 Yeah, but you gotta let Ted be Ted, right? 360 00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:46,196 Yes. I suppose so. 361 00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:52,202 No, I'm more bothered that Rupert must just be so happy right now. 362 00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,872 He's really gotten stuck in your head these days, huh? 363 00:15:54,872 --> 00:15:56,290 No! 364 00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:58,000 I mean, yes. 365 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,961 But he's not stuck in the same way he used to be stuck. 366 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:03,005 I mean, back then, 367 00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:07,384 I wanted to destroy everything that Rupert loved and owned and coveted. 368 00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:09,219 You know, like Left Eye from TLC 369 00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,180 when she burned all her boyfriend's trainers in the bath 370 00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:12,723 and ended up burning down the entire house. 371 00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:14,975 - Ultimate gangster move. - Fucking legend. 372 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,686 And admittedly, that was me back then. 373 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:22,149 But the me now doesn't feel the need to destroy Rupert's life. 374 00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:25,110 No, the now me just wants to beat him. 375 00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:26,445 To win. 376 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,032 - [sighs] That's growth, right? - Sure. 377 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:33,410 But sometimes you've gotta let Rupert be Rupert too. 378 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,539 - Huh? - Ms. Jones, uh, we have a problem. 379 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:39,875 Barbara, come on. It's Keeley. 380 00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:42,211 Oh, and I want you to meet my dear friend, Rebecca. 381 00:16:42,211 --> 00:16:43,962 - She owns AFC Richmond. - [chuckles] Oh. 382 00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:45,214 Yes, of course, Rebecca. 383 00:16:45,214 --> 00:16:46,840 - Very nice to meet you. - Hello, Barbara. 384 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,050 - Ms. Jones, um... - [Keeley] Mmm? 385 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:53,764 ...I noticed a business expense for flowers recurring weekly. 386 00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:58,018 You want to spend £200 every week on flowers? 387 00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,061 Yeah. 388 00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:00,145 Why? 389 00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,564 So the office is cheerful and smells nice. 390 00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:06,609 Flowers are for two things, Ms. Jones. Dead people and dead marriages. 391 00:17:08,487 --> 00:17:10,948 - It was so nice to meet you. - It was nice to meet you. 392 00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:13,492 [door closes] 393 00:17:13,492 --> 00:17:15,452 She seems fun. 394 00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:17,246 She's my CFO. 395 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,332 The company that financed me placed her here. 396 00:17:20,332 --> 00:17:23,919 But she's my CFO, yet sometimes my CFO-- 397 00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:25,587 Chief Financial Officer. 398 00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:27,297 Oh, my. I did not know that. 399 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:30,300 I've been saying "corporate flying object" 'cause it's been making me laugh. 400 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:31,718 Why didn't you just google it? 401 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,179 [slurps] Because I trust in the universe. 402 00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:35,973 - Oh. - [Keeley chuckles] 403 00:17:35,973 --> 00:17:38,350 - Right. I have got to get going. [groans] - [chuckles] 404 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,394 Dinner this evening? 405 00:17:40,394 --> 00:17:42,938 - [sighs] I can't. - Oh, no, no. I'm eating meat again. 406 00:17:42,938 --> 00:17:45,858 - Oh, that's not it. But thank Christ. - [chuckles] 407 00:17:45,858 --> 00:17:49,778 No, uh-- Roy and I are finally having the talk with Phoebe. 408 00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:50,779 Ah. 409 00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:53,073 I cannot cancel on him again, or he will kill me. 410 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,909 - Okay, well, call me later. - Mmm. 411 00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,119 And thank you for the advice. 412 00:17:57,703 --> 00:17:59,746 - Thank you for your bosom. - Anytime. 413 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,039 [chuckles] 414 00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:03,125 [players chattering] 415 00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:09,590 - [whistle blows] - You. Come over here. Come over here. 416 00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:12,718 Come and stand on this line for me. This-- This, over here. Yeah. 417 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:15,137 This is a very important line. 418 00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:18,974 Everyone, this is the dumb-dumb line. 419 00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:22,186 - This is where dumb-dumbs go. - [player] Mmm. 420 00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:23,520 Stay. 421 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,815 You, go in for the dumb-dumb. Try not to join him on the line. Go. 422 00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:27,900 [whistle blows] 423 00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:30,611 [players chattering] 424 00:18:32,196 --> 00:18:33,363 [assistant] Coach Shelley? 425 00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:34,698 Yes. Yes? 426 00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:36,700 Mr. Mannion would like to speak with you. 427 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,869 Okay. Thank you very much. [inhales sharply] 428 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:44,166 N-Now? 429 00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:45,834 Uh-- Disco. 430 00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:47,377 Yeah. 431 00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:49,880 Take over here. Five more minutes of this, then run them till they drop. 432 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,882 - Okay. - All right. Let-- 433 00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:53,759 Oh. Oh, gosh. 434 00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:56,970 Okay. 435 00:18:56,970 --> 00:19:01,183 Just because my name is Disco doesn't mean we get to party, yeah? 436 00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:12,277 - There he is. The Wonder Kid himself. - [Nate chuckles] 437 00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:14,446 Oh. Hello. How was your trip? 438 00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:15,989 Wonderful. Yeah. 439 00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:20,285 Uh, I was in St. Barts with dear friends, the Sacklers. 440 00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:24,456 We were legally required to stay 50 miles offshore, 441 00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:27,167 but, uh, what a beautiful boat. 442 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,794 Well, sounds lovely. 443 00:19:29,545 --> 00:19:35,467 What's lovely are these delightful preseason prognostications. Yeah. 444 00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:37,261 Aren't they delish? [chuckles] 445 00:19:37,261 --> 00:19:40,347 Especially poor, old Richmond. [chuckles] 446 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:43,934 Can you believe they're picked to finish 20th? [chuckles] 447 00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:46,937 Well, yeah, because there's no 21st. 448 00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:50,065 [laughing] 449 00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:53,569 That's very good. [chuckles] Oh! [sniffs] 450 00:19:53,569 --> 00:19:56,905 I hope you've got more zingers like that in your back pocket for the presser today. 451 00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,532 I-- Yeah, I might. 452 00:19:58,532 --> 00:20:03,328 Oh. You know, they didn't know what they had, letting you go. 453 00:20:04,288 --> 00:20:06,248 Nathan Shelley, you are a killer. 454 00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:10,627 Thank you, Mr. Mannion. 455 00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,963 Oh, no, please, Nathan. Call me Rupert. 456 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:14,923 [door opens] 457 00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:18,594 Mr. Mannion, the car is being removed from the lot as we speak. 458 00:20:19,303 --> 00:20:21,263 Ah. Good. 459 00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:23,432 Security thinks one of the new cleaners 460 00:20:23,432 --> 00:20:25,851 must have parked in the prestige lot by accident. 461 00:20:25,851 --> 00:20:27,436 [Rupert chuckles] Yes. 462 00:20:28,854 --> 00:20:31,231 And accidents have repercussions. 463 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:34,484 I just want to just have a look. Um-- 464 00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:35,861 Yes, that's my car. 465 00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:40,866 - [Nathan] Sorry. [sighs] - [Rupert] Is it really? 466 00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:43,285 No. Um-- Well, ye-- Uh, yes. 467 00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:46,997 I mean, it's the one that I drove here in, but... [stammers] ...is anything really ours? 468 00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:48,624 I can move it. 469 00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:50,417 No, it's okay. 470 00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:53,003 My apologies, Nathan. 471 00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:57,758 Ms. Kakes, let security know that we have found the, uh, 472 00:20:58,342 --> 00:21:01,637 automobile's owner, and everything's fine. 473 00:21:01,637 --> 00:21:02,971 Yes, Mr. Mannion. 474 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,767 - Nathan? - Yeah? 475 00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:09,061 I know you'll make me proud. 476 00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:11,522 I believe in you. 477 00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:15,817 Thank you, Mr. Rupert. Ru-- Just Rupert. [inhales sharply] 478 00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:16,902 Plain Rupert. 479 00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:19,071 Rupert. 480 00:21:19,780 --> 00:21:20,906 [exhales sharply] 481 00:21:20,906 --> 00:21:22,407 - [player] Thanks, Ken. - Have a good one, lad. 482 00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:24,076 - [player 2] Cheers, Ken. - Look after yourselves. 483 00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:25,911 - Thanks, K-Rock. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 484 00:21:25,911 --> 00:21:28,288 Hey, Ken, thanks again for helping us out at the last second. 485 00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:30,874 Oh, no worries. You got lucky, really. 486 00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,418 Ted, it's a good rule of thumb 487 00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:36,004 never to ask a hippie to come in on his day off. 488 00:21:37,548 --> 00:21:39,675 - Okay, message received. - Ah, all right. 489 00:21:39,675 --> 00:21:42,219 Well, I'll go and smoke some toad venom while I'm waiting. 490 00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:44,471 Then the whole day's not a waste. Cheers. 491 00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:46,139 Okay. Yeah. 492 00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,642 He gonna be okay to drive us back? 493 00:21:48,642 --> 00:21:50,143 - After the toad venom? - Yeah. 494 00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,812 He's usually fine in 20 minutes. 495 00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:55,315 He'll be forever changed... [inhales deeply] ...but he can drive, yeah. 496 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:56,400 Okay, good. 497 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,068 All right, fellas. Follow me. 498 00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:02,364 There he is. 499 00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,908 [laughs] Good to see you again, Coach Lasso. 500 00:22:04,908 --> 00:22:06,326 Hey, nice to see you too, Ivor. 501 00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:07,286 - All right. - [laughs] 502 00:22:07,286 --> 00:22:08,662 Come on, fellas. Here we are. 503 00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:11,206 - This is the spot here? - Yes, sir. 504 00:22:11,206 --> 00:22:12,332 All righty. 505 00:22:12,332 --> 00:22:15,335 Okay, here we go, guys. Down the hatch. 506 00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,753 - [player 3] Nah. - [player 4] What? 507 00:22:16,753 --> 00:22:18,672 - Yeah, we're going down here. - [player 5] What's he talking about? 508 00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:19,756 Yeah, yeah, go ahead. 509 00:22:19,756 --> 00:22:22,050 [chattering] 510 00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:23,468 [Ted] Yeah. Nah, it's gonna be fine. 511 00:22:26,597 --> 00:22:28,265 Oh, Del, look at this shit. 512 00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:30,851 - Yeah, why don't you go next? - All right. 513 00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:32,477 Is that Roy Kent? 514 00:22:32,477 --> 00:22:33,687 I don't know. 515 00:22:33,687 --> 00:22:35,814 [shouting] Roy Kent, is that you? 516 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,441 Get fucked. 517 00:22:37,941 --> 00:22:40,110 - [chuckles] Yeah, definitely him. - Yeah, that's him. 518 00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:41,195 [camera clicks] 519 00:22:43,155 --> 00:22:45,908 - [laughing] Yes. - Get that on Twitter, son. 520 00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:54,249 [pants] 521 00:22:58,337 --> 00:23:03,008 [hums] I just wanted to go through this transfer list. 522 00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:05,886 Some good options here. Um-- 523 00:23:06,470 --> 00:23:08,722 Why are you dressed like an umlaut? 524 00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:10,432 [sighs] Keeley tears. 525 00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:14,186 Ah. I've had this dry-cleaned now six times. 526 00:23:14,186 --> 00:23:15,229 [sighs] 527 00:23:15,229 --> 00:23:17,814 Can't believe she wears stuff like this on her eyes. 528 00:23:17,814 --> 00:23:20,234 - Right. Come here. - Hmm? 529 00:23:20,901 --> 00:23:22,027 [Higgins humming] 530 00:23:22,027 --> 00:23:25,030 [gagging] Are you sure you want to watch this? 531 00:23:25,030 --> 00:23:27,741 No, I don't want to, Leslie. But it's part of my job. 532 00:23:27,741 --> 00:23:29,409 [inhales sharply] I need to be ready to comment 533 00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:31,537 if Rupert were to say something snide about me or the team. 534 00:23:32,246 --> 00:23:33,705 Where are they, by the way? 535 00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:35,374 Shouldn't they be training now? 536 00:23:36,667 --> 00:23:38,460 - [Higgins stammers] - [exhales deeply] 537 00:23:39,086 --> 00:23:41,088 [squeaking] 538 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:45,759 Yeah, come on down, fellas. That's it. All right. 539 00:23:45,759 --> 00:23:51,098 Greyhounds, behold the majesty of the London sewer system. 540 00:23:51,098 --> 00:23:53,141 [players grumbling] 541 00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:54,142 Disgusting. 542 00:23:54,142 --> 00:23:56,395 Mmm, yeah, that's what I thought at first as well. 543 00:23:56,395 --> 00:23:59,690 But then, over the summer, Henry and I took a tour of this place with Ivor here. 544 00:23:59,690 --> 00:24:01,900 Why would you take your kid for a tour of a sewer? 545 00:24:01,900 --> 00:24:03,193 Well, it was his idea, actually. 546 00:24:03,193 --> 00:24:05,779 See, what happened was, on his plane ride over here, 547 00:24:05,779 --> 00:24:09,116 the fellow sitting next to him was watching that horror movie It, 548 00:24:09,116 --> 00:24:11,493 and, well, Henry accidentally ended up watching it too. 549 00:24:11,493 --> 00:24:12,744 [players clamoring] 550 00:24:12,744 --> 00:24:14,204 So then, when he heard about this tour, 551 00:24:14,204 --> 00:24:16,415 he asked to go on it in order to face his fears. 552 00:24:16,415 --> 00:24:17,416 Fucking smart. 553 00:24:17,416 --> 00:24:19,209 - [Jamie] Yeah, that is good. - [players chattering] 554 00:24:19,209 --> 00:24:21,670 Ain't much scarier out there than a creepy clown, right? 555 00:24:21,670 --> 00:24:23,213 [players chattering] 556 00:24:23,213 --> 00:24:26,675 Ladies and gentlemen of the press, welcome. 557 00:24:26,675 --> 00:24:28,844 Lovely to see you all, and, uh, 558 00:24:28,844 --> 00:24:34,016 thank you for selecting our humble little football club to do so well this season. 559 00:24:34,016 --> 00:24:35,517 [all laughing] 560 00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:39,104 [exhales heavily] Twat. 561 00:24:39,104 --> 00:24:41,190 [Ted] Ivor, my friend, why don't you help these fine fellows 562 00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:43,150 with some fun facts about this here feces factory? 563 00:24:43,150 --> 00:24:46,195 Uh, well, back in 1859, 564 00:24:46,195 --> 00:24:49,072 an engineer called Joseph Bazalgette and his team 565 00:24:49,072 --> 00:24:54,203 built more than 1,200 miles of interconnected tunnels and sewers. 566 00:24:54,203 --> 00:24:58,582 And its creation helped cure a massive cholera outbreak 567 00:24:58,582 --> 00:25:02,211 after untreated human waste found its way into the River Thames. 568 00:25:03,045 --> 00:25:05,380 Anyone know what that epidemic was called? 569 00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:07,216 Great Stink of 1858. 570 00:25:07,216 --> 00:25:08,383 That's correct. 571 00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:11,720 Ooh! [chuckles] All right, go ahead, Ivor. Keep cooking. 572 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,264 [Rupert] The person you are here to see, 573 00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:16,892 the Wonder Kid himself, 574 00:25:16,892 --> 00:25:18,435 our new manager, 575 00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:21,897 - Nathan Shelley. - [applause] 576 00:25:29,154 --> 00:25:32,950 Ah, thank you. Um, very nice to be here. 577 00:25:32,950 --> 00:25:36,203 Uh, I'm pretty sure I said "wunderkind." [chuckles] 578 00:25:36,203 --> 00:25:37,955 [reporter coughs] 579 00:25:38,622 --> 00:25:40,916 Doesn't-- It doesn't matter. Doesn't-- [stammers] 580 00:25:44,294 --> 00:25:45,629 Sorry, does anyone have any questions? 581 00:25:45,629 --> 00:25:47,798 [reporters clamoring] 582 00:25:47,798 --> 00:25:48,757 Yes, you. Thank you. 583 00:25:48,757 --> 00:25:50,133 How are you and the lads getting on? 584 00:25:50,133 --> 00:25:52,052 Yeah, really great. Um... 585 00:25:52,636 --> 00:25:53,971 Getting to know them. 586 00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:56,181 Getting to know all about them. 587 00:25:57,266 --> 00:25:58,642 Getting to like them. 588 00:25:58,642 --> 00:26:00,853 [reporters murmuring] 589 00:26:00,853 --> 00:26:02,563 Getting to hope-- [stammers] 590 00:26:02,563 --> 00:26:04,231 [murmuring continues] 591 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:08,610 Excuse me a second. 592 00:26:09,319 --> 00:26:10,821 [breathing shakily] 593 00:26:10,821 --> 00:26:12,781 [murmuring continues] 594 00:26:15,701 --> 00:26:17,369 - What is he doing? - [scoffs] 595 00:26:19,580 --> 00:26:20,747 [laughing] 596 00:26:32,426 --> 00:26:35,179 Sorry, just, um, had to tie my shoe. 597 00:26:35,971 --> 00:26:38,724 [coughs] Uh, yeah, next question, please. Thank you. Yes? 598 00:26:38,724 --> 00:26:40,642 Uh, Coach Shelley, 599 00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:43,562 you are now the manager of a contending Premier League team, 600 00:26:43,562 --> 00:26:48,901 but just two years ago, you were a mere kit man, washing another team's underwear. 601 00:26:48,901 --> 00:26:53,864 I mean, it must all feel a bit overwhelming for you, yes? 602 00:26:55,908 --> 00:26:58,785 Not for me, no. Because I earned this job. 603 00:26:58,785 --> 00:27:01,830 [inhales deeply] What's overwhelming is the confusion I feel 604 00:27:01,830 --> 00:27:05,209 when someone so intelligent-looking asks such a stupid question. 605 00:27:05,209 --> 00:27:07,377 [reporters laughing, murmuring] 606 00:27:10,923 --> 00:27:11,924 Meow. 607 00:27:12,424 --> 00:27:13,717 Anyone else? 608 00:27:13,717 --> 00:27:16,053 - Yeah, I got a question. - Yeah, go ahead, Isaac. 609 00:27:16,053 --> 00:27:17,387 What the fuck are we doing here? 610 00:27:17,387 --> 00:27:19,723 [players chattering] 611 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:22,267 Silence! 612 00:27:22,768 --> 00:27:24,811 Thank you, Coach. Uh, that's a good question, Isaac. 613 00:27:24,811 --> 00:27:28,440 A-And direct, which is a personality trait y'all's generation has truly embraced, 614 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:32,277 and I tell you what, I've grown used to it, so I appreciate it. 615 00:27:32,277 --> 00:27:35,030 Uh, yeah, well, hey, fellas, take a look around. 616 00:27:35,906 --> 00:27:37,449 What are we surrounded by down here? 617 00:27:38,075 --> 00:27:39,535 - Coach. - [Ted] Yeah, Jamie. 618 00:27:39,535 --> 00:27:41,161 We're surrounded by poopy. 619 00:27:41,161 --> 00:27:42,246 [Ted] Mm-hmm, that's right. 620 00:27:42,246 --> 00:27:43,163 But if you ask me, 621 00:27:43,163 --> 00:27:46,583 we're surrounded by a whole bunch of poopy up there as well, yeah? 622 00:27:47,835 --> 00:27:52,297 See, gentlemen, right now, y'all's brains are basically London in 1857. 623 00:27:52,297 --> 00:27:55,008 They're blocked up by other people's dookie. 624 00:27:55,843 --> 00:28:00,138 Y'all need to make an internal sewer system within yourselves, 625 00:28:00,138 --> 00:28:04,184 and then connect to each other's tunnels, help each other keep that flow. 626 00:28:05,060 --> 00:28:08,188 So if you're ever having a crisis of confidence, 627 00:28:08,188 --> 00:28:10,440 y-you know, borrow some of Jamie's. 628 00:28:11,275 --> 00:28:15,571 Yeah? Or if you're feeling down, you know, get some Dani in your life. 629 00:28:15,571 --> 00:28:19,491 [stammers] Or you can learn from Richard's vast knowledge of expensive wines. 630 00:28:19,491 --> 00:28:20,993 Fine wines, Coach. 631 00:28:20,993 --> 00:28:21,952 [grunts] 632 00:28:21,952 --> 00:28:24,162 The thing is, a great bottle of wine 633 00:28:24,162 --> 00:28:27,541 really doesn't need to be an expensive bottle of wine, you get it? 634 00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:28,542 [players murmuring] 635 00:28:28,542 --> 00:28:31,253 All right, see? That's-- That's wisdom right there. 636 00:28:31,253 --> 00:28:32,171 Merci beaucoup. 637 00:28:33,630 --> 00:28:35,632 Uh, yeah. Next question. 638 00:28:35,632 --> 00:28:40,304 Coach Shelley, um, regarding your old team, AFC Richmond, 639 00:28:40,304 --> 00:28:45,058 any idea why everyone is expecting them to finish 20th this season? 640 00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:50,689 [chuckles] Probably because there's no 21st. 641 00:28:50,689 --> 00:28:52,482 [reporters laughing] 642 00:28:52,482 --> 00:28:53,567 Ouch. 643 00:28:54,193 --> 00:28:57,696 Guys, all we gotta do is remember to stay connected to one another 644 00:28:57,696 --> 00:29:03,452 and let anything we don't need flow right through all the way to, 645 00:29:03,452 --> 00:29:05,621 I don't know, Germany or-- [stammers] Where does it go, Ivor? 646 00:29:05,621 --> 00:29:08,832 Oh, processed through a treatment plant and dumped back into the ocean, 647 00:29:08,832 --> 00:29:11,251 where we swim and get our seafood. 648 00:29:11,251 --> 00:29:13,170 [players groaning, chattering] 649 00:29:13,170 --> 00:29:15,172 Oh. Okay. Yeah, that's horrible. 650 00:29:15,172 --> 00:29:16,757 - All right, y'all get it? - [Jamie] Yes, Coach. 651 00:29:16,757 --> 00:29:18,717 Okay, let's get upstairs, get some fresh air. 652 00:29:18,717 --> 00:29:20,260 Come on. Let's go. Hurry up. On the hop. 653 00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:22,763 No sudden movements near the bus driver. 654 00:29:22,763 --> 00:29:24,932 [phones chiming] 655 00:29:29,436 --> 00:29:30,812 Uh, Coach Shelley, um, 656 00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:33,732 would you like to comment on the new picture of AFC Richmond 657 00:29:33,732 --> 00:29:35,692 that's just showed up online? 658 00:29:35,692 --> 00:29:36,777 [Rebecca] What picture? 659 00:29:38,570 --> 00:29:39,571 [phone chimes] 660 00:29:39,571 --> 00:29:40,656 Uh... 661 00:29:41,823 --> 00:29:43,867 I think I know where the team's gone. 662 00:29:46,995 --> 00:29:48,997 [all laughing] 663 00:29:53,252 --> 00:29:54,711 Yeah, well, it makes sense to me. 664 00:29:54,711 --> 00:29:57,548 They probably have to train in a sewer because their coach is so shitty. 665 00:29:57,548 --> 00:30:00,467 [reporters laughing] 666 00:30:06,098 --> 00:30:08,308 - Oh, boy. - [sighs] 667 00:30:20,028 --> 00:30:21,488 I really like that Kenneth guy. 668 00:30:21,488 --> 00:30:24,032 He seems really plugged in, yeah? 669 00:30:24,032 --> 00:30:25,158 Oh, yeah. No, I agree. 670 00:30:25,158 --> 00:30:30,539 That nutter told me to ask the fucking Earth to help me carry some of my burden. 671 00:30:31,874 --> 00:30:32,875 He ain't wrong. 672 00:30:32,875 --> 00:30:33,959 That's not a terrible idea. 673 00:30:33,959 --> 00:30:35,043 [cell phones chiming] 674 00:30:37,296 --> 00:30:38,213 Oh, boy. 675 00:30:38,213 --> 00:30:39,298 What? 676 00:30:39,298 --> 00:30:40,632 That little prick. 677 00:30:40,632 --> 00:30:42,509 - Who? - Just check your phone. 678 00:30:47,598 --> 00:30:48,432 Oh. 679 00:30:48,432 --> 00:30:49,975 Yo, you see what Nate said about us? 680 00:30:49,975 --> 00:30:51,685 [players chattering] 681 00:30:51,685 --> 00:30:53,061 [Thierry] Check this out. Look. 682 00:30:53,061 --> 00:30:54,521 - What happened? - What? 683 00:30:54,521 --> 00:30:56,023 - You see? - No, no, no. 684 00:30:56,023 --> 00:30:57,566 - [sighs] - [players clamoring] 685 00:30:57,566 --> 00:30:59,026 I better say something. 686 00:30:59,026 --> 00:31:01,320 Hey, hey, lads, lads, lads. 687 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:05,782 Remember, it's just poopy. Let it flow. 688 00:31:05,782 --> 00:31:08,702 - Yeah. - Ah, just like in the sewer. 689 00:31:09,828 --> 00:31:10,996 Bingo, "el ringo." 690 00:31:10,996 --> 00:31:13,665 - Clever, Jamie. [chuckles, speaks Spanish] - Yeah. 691 00:31:15,667 --> 00:31:17,377 - All right. - [phone chimes] 692 00:31:25,511 --> 00:31:26,970 Hey, boss. 693 00:31:26,970 --> 00:31:28,055 Where were you this afternoon? 694 00:31:28,055 --> 00:31:30,849 Oh, I took the fellows on a little impromptu field trip. 695 00:31:30,849 --> 00:31:34,102 Yes, to a sewer, Ted. I know. Everyone knows. 696 00:31:35,062 --> 00:31:36,813 And you're upset that I didn't invite you? 697 00:31:36,813 --> 00:31:38,232 No, Coach Lasso, 698 00:31:38,232 --> 00:31:42,903 I'm upset because the team that I own is projected to finish last this season. 699 00:31:42,903 --> 00:31:47,866 And my manager decided to skip training and take our players into a fucking sewer. 700 00:31:49,284 --> 00:31:50,827 No, yeah, I can see your point, yeah. 701 00:31:51,578 --> 00:31:53,163 Did you hear what Nathan was saying about you? 702 00:31:54,206 --> 00:31:56,792 - Yes, ma'am. - And are you planning on addressing that? 703 00:31:57,417 --> 00:31:58,418 No, ma'am. 704 00:31:59,753 --> 00:32:01,922 Everyone is laughing at us, Ted. 705 00:32:02,673 --> 00:32:05,300 At you, at our team, at me. 706 00:32:06,343 --> 00:32:08,595 Rupert is laughing at me, Ted. 707 00:32:09,471 --> 00:32:15,102 And I am begging you, please, fight back. 708 00:32:17,271 --> 00:32:19,815 [reporters clamoring] 709 00:32:19,815 --> 00:32:21,275 Uh, yeah. Sarah. 710 00:32:21,275 --> 00:32:23,443 - Hey, I like the new hair color. - Thank you. 711 00:32:23,443 --> 00:32:24,403 You do it just for fun 712 00:32:24,403 --> 00:32:26,071 - or are you going through a breakup? - Both. 713 00:32:26,071 --> 00:32:27,573 Yep, no, I get it. What you got? 714 00:32:27,573 --> 00:32:30,242 Coach, how are you feeling about the unanimous opinion 715 00:32:30,242 --> 00:32:32,828 that Richmond will be relegated again at the end of the season? 716 00:32:32,828 --> 00:32:34,580 [Ted] Mmm, yeah, that's true, isn't it? 717 00:32:34,580 --> 00:32:37,875 Expectations for us are as low as a rattlesnake's belly button, huh? 718 00:32:37,875 --> 00:32:38,959 [reporters chuckle] 719 00:32:38,959 --> 00:32:41,712 But, hey, we got 38 chances to prove all them folks wrong though, right? 720 00:32:41,712 --> 00:32:44,756 Yeah. And my hopes are as high as a giraffe's top hat. 721 00:32:44,756 --> 00:32:45,716 Uh, next question. 722 00:32:45,716 --> 00:32:49,052 And if it is, "Why is a giraffe wearing a top hat?" Don't ask me, man. 723 00:32:49,052 --> 00:32:51,138 - Go ask a giraffe. - [reporters chuckle] 724 00:32:51,138 --> 00:32:52,764 - [Marcus] Coach? - Yeah, Marcus. 725 00:32:52,764 --> 00:32:54,308 Marcus Adebayo, The Independent. 726 00:32:54,308 --> 00:32:57,561 - [reporters] Ooh! - Ooh! Congrats on the new gig. 727 00:32:57,561 --> 00:32:59,563 - Thank you. - [Ted] What have you got for me? 728 00:32:59,563 --> 00:33:01,523 Do you have any response to comments made earlier today 729 00:33:01,523 --> 00:33:03,734 by your former assistant coach, Nathan Shelley? 730 00:33:08,864 --> 00:33:09,865 Uh, yes, I do. 731 00:33:10,699 --> 00:33:11,742 Yeah. 732 00:33:12,618 --> 00:33:15,287 I thought it was hilarious. [chuckles] 733 00:33:16,914 --> 00:33:19,416 I mean, he came and got us, didn't he? No doubt about that. 734 00:33:19,416 --> 00:33:21,877 [chuckles] Hey, but that's Nate the Great for you, you know? 735 00:33:21,877 --> 00:33:23,045 He's the same way on the pitch. 736 00:33:23,045 --> 00:33:25,672 He'll find the tiniest little weakness in a team 737 00:33:25,672 --> 00:33:28,342 and just want to attack that, you know? 738 00:33:28,342 --> 00:33:31,345 I mean, uh, he's a junkyard dog, man. And smart. 739 00:33:31,345 --> 00:33:33,430 They're real lucky to have him over there at West Ham. 740 00:33:33,430 --> 00:33:34,681 I wish him the best of luck. 741 00:33:34,681 --> 00:33:37,059 [reporters murmuring] 742 00:33:40,103 --> 00:33:42,773 I guess I am a little surprised that's all he could come up with. 743 00:33:42,773 --> 00:33:44,107 Especially against me. 744 00:33:44,107 --> 00:33:46,443 You know, not one joke about me being a dumb American? 745 00:33:46,443 --> 00:33:50,155 Come on, man. It's sitting there. I mean, I'm so dumb... 746 00:33:51,907 --> 00:33:53,992 [reporter coughs] 747 00:33:54,576 --> 00:33:56,954 Y'all are supposed to say, "How dumb are you?" 748 00:33:56,954 --> 00:33:58,914 - Gary. - Why? 749 00:33:59,623 --> 00:34:01,250 Well, I mean, it's just classic joke structure. 750 00:34:01,250 --> 00:34:03,627 Give it a shot. I mean, I'm so dumb... 751 00:34:04,419 --> 00:34:06,046 - [Ted] Lloyd. - How dumb are you? 752 00:34:06,797 --> 00:34:08,340 Hmm. [grumbles] Okay. 753 00:34:08,340 --> 00:34:11,635 I'm so dumb that the first time I heard y'all talking about Yorkshire pudding, 754 00:34:11,635 --> 00:34:14,137 I thought it was a fancy word y'all had for dog poop. 755 00:34:14,137 --> 00:34:15,597 [Ted, reporters chuckle] 756 00:34:15,597 --> 00:34:17,391 Yeah. I mean, I'm so dumb... 757 00:34:17,391 --> 00:34:19,726 - [reporters] How dumb are you? - How-- How dumb are you? 758 00:34:20,351 --> 00:34:21,562 Yeah, all right, well, you know. 759 00:34:21,562 --> 00:34:26,233 Well, whenever I text someone over here about money, I still spell "pounds" L-B-S. 760 00:34:26,233 --> 00:34:27,818 [reporters chuckle] 761 00:34:27,818 --> 00:34:30,571 Look, man, I'm not a great coach. Probably ain't. 762 00:34:30,571 --> 00:34:32,572 I've been doing this sport now for three years, 763 00:34:32,572 --> 00:34:35,617 and I still get a chuckle every time someone talks about a handball violation. 764 00:34:35,617 --> 00:34:37,452 - [reporters chuckle] - [phone chimes] 765 00:34:37,452 --> 00:34:40,664 Yeah, and not one crack about my appearance? About this mustache? 766 00:34:40,664 --> 00:34:44,751 I-- I-- I look like Ned Flanders is doing cosplay as Ned Flanders. 767 00:34:44,751 --> 00:34:46,670 [reporters laugh] 768 00:34:46,670 --> 00:34:49,715 {\an8}When I talk, it sounds like Dr. Phil hasn't gone through puberty yet. 769 00:34:49,715 --> 00:34:52,301 [reporters laughing] 770 00:34:52,301 --> 00:34:56,054 Yeah. I'm more corny than Kevin Costner's outfield. [chuckles] 771 00:34:57,931 --> 00:34:59,766 Ooh, I lost you on that one. Yeah. 772 00:34:59,766 --> 00:35:01,435 [grunts] Swing and a miss. 773 00:35:01,435 --> 00:35:04,897 - Yeah. Uh, Field of Dreams? No? - [phone buzzes] 774 00:35:04,897 --> 00:35:07,107 I-- I guess y'all don't really like baseball here, 775 00:35:07,107 --> 00:35:09,526 so why would you like movies about it? The, uh... 776 00:35:12,321 --> 00:35:13,614 Well, hey, how about this one? 777 00:35:13,614 --> 00:35:15,240 Regarding my panic attacks, 778 00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:18,202 I've had more psychotic episodes than Twin Peaks. 779 00:35:18,202 --> 00:35:19,828 [reporters laugh] 780 00:35:19,828 --> 00:35:22,039 [chortles] I mean, I'm so crazy... 781 00:35:22,039 --> 00:35:24,291 - [reporters] How crazy are you? - How crazy are you? 782 00:35:24,291 --> 00:35:25,792 There we go. 783 00:35:25,792 --> 00:35:27,628 - [exhales heavily] - [reporters laughing] 784 00:35:30,923 --> 00:35:32,966 [breathes shakily] 785 00:35:44,228 --> 00:35:46,146 [clicks tongue, sighs] 786 00:35:46,146 --> 00:35:47,606 [phone chimes] 787 00:35:59,868 --> 00:36:01,119 [door opens] 788 00:36:01,119 --> 00:36:02,454 [Ms. Kakes] Coach Shelley? 789 00:36:03,664 --> 00:36:05,123 I have a package for you. 790 00:36:05,123 --> 00:36:06,542 Oh, thank you. 791 00:36:09,002 --> 00:36:10,003 [exhales sharply] 792 00:36:10,003 --> 00:36:11,797 [Ms. Kakes] It's from Mr. Mannion. 793 00:36:15,467 --> 00:36:16,468 [chuckles] 794 00:36:20,514 --> 00:36:23,141 I don't know if I should open it in front of you or wait for you to leave. 795 00:36:23,141 --> 00:36:24,476 It's a car. 796 00:36:26,019 --> 00:36:27,020 [chuckles] 797 00:36:27,020 --> 00:36:29,731 ["Welcome to the Party" playing] 798 00:36:35,070 --> 00:36:36,071 [unlocking honk] 799 00:36:58,552 --> 00:37:00,429 [engine revs] 800 00:37:11,857 --> 00:37:13,859 [songs ends] 801 00:37:16,904 --> 00:37:17,905 [slurps] 802 00:37:19,448 --> 00:37:21,116 I'm finished, Uncle Roy. 803 00:37:30,167 --> 00:37:31,752 Ice cream before dinner? 804 00:37:32,336 --> 00:37:34,713 Either you think I did something very good, 805 00:37:34,713 --> 00:37:36,798 or you guys did something very bad. 806 00:37:36,798 --> 00:37:38,467 [Keeley chuckles] 807 00:37:39,218 --> 00:37:40,677 Phoebs... 808 00:37:41,553 --> 00:37:45,224 [clicks tongue] ...your Uncle Roy and I have something we need to tell you. 809 00:37:47,392 --> 00:37:48,894 Okay, uh, what? 810 00:37:50,479 --> 00:37:52,189 - We're going on a break. - We broke up. 811 00:37:57,069 --> 00:37:58,403 [stammers] Which is it? 812 00:37:59,530 --> 00:38:01,281 - Well-- - We broke up. 813 00:38:04,785 --> 00:38:07,746 But don't worry, because your Uncle Roy and I talked, 814 00:38:07,746 --> 00:38:11,124 and you and I can still see each other whenever you want to. 815 00:38:11,124 --> 00:38:13,335 [inhales sharply, stammers] Why? 816 00:38:15,546 --> 00:38:18,632 Because we thought you'd wanna hang out with me sometimes. 817 00:38:19,216 --> 00:38:22,344 No, no. Why are you breaking up? 818 00:38:28,725 --> 00:38:31,854 That's-- That's a good question. Um... 819 00:38:33,647 --> 00:38:34,773 [clicks tongue] 820 00:38:36,650 --> 00:38:38,151 We're too busy. 821 00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:42,447 But, uh, yo-you were both busy before. 822 00:38:44,700 --> 00:38:47,870 We're more busy now. 823 00:38:49,496 --> 00:38:50,998 H-How so? 824 00:38:50,998 --> 00:38:52,708 [stammers] 825 00:38:52,708 --> 00:38:58,046 Keeley's got her own company now, so that takes up a lot of her time and focus. 826 00:38:58,046 --> 00:39:00,174 And uh, we had a coach quit, 827 00:39:00,174 --> 00:39:04,052 so it's now my responsibility for tactics and strategies and shi-- 828 00:39:04,052 --> 00:39:07,556 Roy, I know you're scared about that, but it's gon-- 829 00:39:11,602 --> 00:39:12,561 [inhales deeply] 830 00:39:13,145 --> 00:39:15,230 Right. [inhales deeply] 831 00:39:16,857 --> 00:39:19,067 Do you wanna talk about it some more, or... 832 00:39:19,735 --> 00:39:23,155 No, um, not really. It makes sense. 833 00:39:23,155 --> 00:39:26,617 I mean, y-you were only together a year. [inhales deeply] 834 00:39:26,617 --> 00:39:31,580 And few relationships can survive a major career change, much less two. 835 00:39:34,374 --> 00:39:37,836 Besides, my mum and dad split up when I were four, 836 00:39:37,836 --> 00:39:41,548 so one of my core beliefs is that nothing lasts forever. 837 00:39:43,175 --> 00:39:44,218 [sighs] 838 00:39:45,093 --> 00:39:47,763 I am happy we still get to be friends, though. 839 00:39:48,555 --> 00:39:49,848 Yeah, so am I. 840 00:39:49,848 --> 00:39:51,517 [inhales sharply] 841 00:39:52,267 --> 00:39:54,269 We should probably go. 842 00:39:54,269 --> 00:39:56,688 All that ice cream's already doing a number on my tummy. 843 00:39:58,982 --> 00:39:59,983 Right. 844 00:40:02,611 --> 00:40:04,613 ["In Another Time" playing] 845 00:40:08,033 --> 00:40:09,952 - Uncle Roy? - Yeah? 846 00:40:10,619 --> 00:40:12,621 Are you sure you're doing the right thing? 847 00:40:16,124 --> 00:40:17,125 I don't know. 848 00:40:19,169 --> 00:40:20,963 Can I say a bad word? 849 00:40:20,963 --> 00:40:22,047 Go on. 850 00:40:22,548 --> 00:40:24,424 I think you're being stupid. 851 00:40:27,594 --> 00:40:28,720 [sighs] 852 00:40:33,642 --> 00:40:35,018 Something on your mind, Coach? 853 00:40:38,438 --> 00:40:40,232 You ever wonder why we're here, Coach? 854 00:40:41,149 --> 00:40:42,401 In London or on Earth? 855 00:40:43,235 --> 00:40:46,446 Well, both, I guess, but for the sake of this conversation, let's go with London. 856 00:40:46,446 --> 00:40:47,698 Carry on. 857 00:40:47,698 --> 00:40:50,284 I mean, look, I know it's nuts we came here in the first place, 858 00:40:50,284 --> 00:40:52,703 but at this point, I can't tell if it's more crazy 859 00:40:52,703 --> 00:40:54,872 or less crazy that we're still here. 860 00:40:56,582 --> 00:40:58,250 We grabbing a beer, Coach? 861 00:40:58,250 --> 00:41:00,961 No, I can't. I wanna talk to Henry. Why? 862 00:41:00,961 --> 00:41:02,838 'Cause we just passed your apartment. 863 00:41:02,838 --> 00:41:05,174 Oh, shoot. Okay. Night, Coach. 864 00:41:05,174 --> 00:41:06,258 Night, Coach. 865 00:41:08,260 --> 00:41:09,595 [phone ringing] 866 00:41:10,971 --> 00:41:11,805 [Henry] Hi, Dad. 867 00:41:11,805 --> 00:41:15,642 Well, if it isn't Mr. Carmen Sandiego himself. [chuckles] 868 00:41:15,642 --> 00:41:16,727 How was your flight? 869 00:41:16,727 --> 00:41:19,479 It was good. I watched a movie called The Exorcist. 870 00:41:19,479 --> 00:41:21,023 Wait, you did what? 871 00:41:21,023 --> 00:41:22,191 I'm kidding. 872 00:41:22,191 --> 00:41:26,069 [chuckles] That was good. You got me. [chuckles] 873 00:41:26,069 --> 00:41:27,321 Hey, hey, check it out. 874 00:41:27,321 --> 00:41:28,697 I put the trophy you gave me 875 00:41:28,697 --> 00:41:31,658 right down here smack-dab in the middle of Nelson Road Stadium. 876 00:41:31,658 --> 00:41:32,993 - How about that? - That's great, 877 00:41:32,993 --> 00:41:35,662 but why is Nate off to the side? 878 00:41:35,662 --> 00:41:39,583 Oh, well, remember, he's not part of the team anymore, yeah? 879 00:41:39,583 --> 00:41:41,793 Yeah, but you can still be friends, right? 880 00:41:42,961 --> 00:41:44,630 You know what? You're right, buddy. Here. 881 00:41:44,630 --> 00:41:47,424 Yeah. All right. Let me fix that for you right now. 882 00:41:48,675 --> 00:41:50,010 Yeah. 883 00:41:50,010 --> 00:41:51,303 There you go. 884 00:41:52,054 --> 00:41:53,180 Hey, big guy, 885 00:41:54,264 --> 00:41:55,933 you know I don't like being away from you, right? 886 00:41:55,933 --> 00:41:57,226 Yeah. 887 00:41:57,226 --> 00:41:59,728 And that I'd only ever do it for something really important. 888 00:41:59,728 --> 00:42:01,230 You know, something I believe in, yeah? 889 00:42:01,230 --> 00:42:02,272 Yeah. 890 00:42:02,272 --> 00:42:04,191 And do you understand why I'm still here? 891 00:42:04,191 --> 00:42:06,693 Of course. To win the whole thing. 892 00:42:07,945 --> 00:42:10,280 Well, now, don't forget. Winning ain't everything. 893 00:42:10,906 --> 00:42:13,450 Yeah, Dad, but you gotta try, right? 894 00:42:16,703 --> 00:42:18,121 No, you're absolutely right. 895 00:42:18,997 --> 00:42:20,374 We always have to try. 896 00:42:20,374 --> 00:42:24,628 Good. Now the universe is alive! 897 00:42:24,628 --> 00:42:26,547 Whoa, what is that? 898 00:42:26,547 --> 00:42:29,883 Thanos's Infinity Gauntlet. Jake gave it to me. 899 00:42:29,883 --> 00:42:33,887 Oh, snap. Well, that is cool. [chuckles] Who's Jake? 900 00:42:34,388 --> 00:42:35,597 Mommy's friend. 901 00:42:38,225 --> 00:42:39,476 See? It lights up. 902 00:42:39,476 --> 00:42:41,603 - [electronic tones] - [Ted chuckles] 903 00:42:42,855 --> 00:42:43,856 Great. 904 00:42:44,565 --> 00:42:46,400 ["Ring the Alarm" playing]