1 00:00:02,152 --> 00:00:04,319 -All right, one more from us. -Oh. 2 00:00:04,413 --> 00:00:05,229 (chuckles) 3 00:00:05,247 --> 00:00:07,564 Oh, wow, Max, look. 4 00:00:07,566 --> 00:00:08,915 Another plant. 5 00:00:09,084 --> 00:00:11,585 Yeah, I might've gotten a little carried away at the nursery. 6 00:00:11,737 --> 00:00:12,994 Nurseries, plural, 7 00:00:13,163 --> 00:00:14,254 and a few unattended gardens. 8 00:00:14,406 --> 00:00:16,998 Okay, let me introduce you to the gang. 9 00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:19,000 Um, that's Leaf Garrett, 10 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:22,913 Alexander Hamil-stem and Jane Fern-da. 11 00:00:23,507 --> 00:00:25,673 And that's Venus and Serena Flytrap. 12 00:00:25,768 --> 00:00:27,768 And the fact that neither of them are flytraps 13 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:29,028 does not bother me one bit. 14 00:00:29,179 --> 00:00:30,937 -It bothers her a lot. -It really does. 15 00:00:31,014 --> 00:00:32,422 (chuckles) Well, thank you, both. 16 00:00:32,516 --> 00:00:35,259 I brought muffins, but I didn't name 'em. 17 00:00:35,427 --> 00:00:37,594 Makes 'em too hard to eat. (chuckles) 18 00:00:37,687 --> 00:00:41,040 I still regret what I did to Gerald. 19 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,877 Katharine, come help me open the wine I brought. 20 00:00:45,028 --> 00:00:46,270 Isn't it a screw top? 21 00:00:46,363 --> 00:00:49,173 Yes, and you have those big, grippy hands. 22 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,367 Didn't see your housewarming gift. 23 00:00:52,444 --> 00:00:55,054 Was the six hours of helping you move not enough? 24 00:00:55,281 --> 00:00:57,056 You ate our pizza, drank our beer 25 00:00:57,283 --> 00:00:59,283 and then suddenly had a "back spasm." 26 00:00:59,376 --> 00:01:02,135 Okay, yeah, I'll swing by later with a candle. 27 00:01:02,288 --> 00:01:03,211 Oh, and nothing patchouli. 28 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:04,396 I do not want it smelling 29 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,231 like somebody named "Moonbeam" lives here. 30 00:01:06,383 --> 00:01:08,067 Oh, and if we're making requests, 31 00:01:08,294 --> 00:01:10,794 I prefer a reed diffuser. 32 00:01:10,813 --> 00:01:13,297 Katharine, is there any chance you and Oscar 33 00:01:13,465 --> 00:01:16,133 can pull yourselves away from your puzzle Friday night? 34 00:01:16,226 --> 00:01:17,484 Uh, don't just assume 35 00:01:17,636 --> 00:01:19,319 that's what we're doing on a Friday night. 36 00:01:19,471 --> 00:01:22,139 I'm sorry. Uh, what were you going to do? 37 00:01:22,157 --> 00:01:24,583 A puzzle. 38 00:01:24,734 --> 00:01:25,918 But it's a 2,000-piecer, 39 00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:28,161 -so it really kicks the night into high gear. -Oh. 40 00:01:28,314 --> 00:01:30,664 I'm sure it does, sweetie. 41 00:01:30,816 --> 00:01:34,668 I met a man at the supermarket, and he asked me out. 42 00:01:34,820 --> 00:01:36,220 What? 43 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,079 Wow. (chuckles) 44 00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,990 "Pickup on aisle three." (chuckles) 45 00:01:40,008 --> 00:01:41,433 -Stop it. -No. 46 00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:43,936 I'm really proud of you for getting back out there, 47 00:01:44,087 --> 00:01:45,512 but what does this have to do with me? 48 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:49,090 I was hoping you and Oscar could join us. 49 00:01:49,184 --> 00:01:50,609 Like a double date. 50 00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:53,186 Why do you want me to come on a first date with you? 51 00:01:53,355 --> 00:01:54,446 I met him at the supermarket. 52 00:01:54,598 --> 00:01:56,506 I don't know anything about him. 53 00:01:56,525 --> 00:02:01,453 He could be a homicidal maniac or really into jazz. 54 00:02:02,105 --> 00:02:03,697 Fine, we'll come. 55 00:02:03,773 --> 00:02:05,365 Ah, wonderful. Oh. 56 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,127 Please send photos of what you're planning to wear 57 00:02:08,354 --> 00:02:11,547 by Thursday noon, so I have time to give notes. 58 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,782 ♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪ 59 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:17,027 ♪ Nothin' wrong with you but I'd rather be me. ♪ 60 00:02:17,045 --> 00:02:19,529 (chuckles) And there she was, 61 00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:20,955 this beautiful redhead 62 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:24,217 picking up every single apple in the produce aisle. 63 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,052 And what'd you end up buying? 64 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:27,813 -A pineapple. -(laughs) 65 00:02:27,964 --> 00:02:30,298 I asked her out right then and there. 66 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:33,152 I like a woman who keeps me on my toes. 67 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,762 Fun fact, uh, did you know that the pineapple 68 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,305 is a symbol of hospitality? 69 00:02:37,399 --> 00:02:39,675 Which is why there are carved representations of them 70 00:02:39,677 --> 00:02:40,734 in many hotels. 71 00:02:40,886 --> 00:02:41,994 That is a fun fact. 72 00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:44,830 Oh. No one ever thinks my facts are fun. 73 00:02:44,981 --> 00:02:46,331 I like him. 74 00:02:47,226 --> 00:02:48,558 So, what do you do, Charles? 75 00:02:48,577 --> 00:02:50,836 I own a chain of local fast food restaurants 76 00:02:51,063 --> 00:02:51,986 called Sergeant McCluck's. 77 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:55,232 I love Sergeant McCluck's. 78 00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,509 But why is the Chicky-Chick Sauce seasonal? 79 00:02:57,736 --> 00:03:00,921 I think we can all agree that every season is sauce season. 80 00:03:01,073 --> 00:03:02,239 KAT: Um, Oscar, 81 00:03:02,332 --> 00:03:03,998 I don't think Charles wants to spend 82 00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,833 the whole evening talking about work. 83 00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:07,001 (chuckles) 84 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,245 Although I would appreciate it 85 00:03:08,338 --> 00:03:09,521 if you could expand the vegetarian menu. 86 00:03:09,673 --> 00:03:12,191 A large bowl of coleslaw does not a salad make. 87 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:13,934 -That's enough, you two. -It's fine. 88 00:03:14,086 --> 00:03:15,861 It's always nice to meet a McCluckhead. 89 00:03:16,012 --> 00:03:17,696 BOTH: Cluck, cluck. 90 00:03:17,923 --> 00:03:19,773 You know, we're thinking about expanding to New York. 91 00:03:19,849 --> 00:03:21,849 Oh, I love New York. 92 00:03:21,944 --> 00:03:23,276 I lived there one summer. 93 00:03:23,429 --> 00:03:26,930 It was just me, my cousin and a young Annie Leibovitz. 94 00:03:26,949 --> 00:03:28,114 Isn't that something? 95 00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:30,209 (laughs): It's something, all right. 96 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,451 A lie. 97 00:03:31,603 --> 00:03:34,104 Where did you meet Annie Leibovitz? 98 00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:36,957 I met her during a women's rights protest. 99 00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,866 For or against? 100 00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:40,868 For, of course. 101 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,870 We burned our bras together. 102 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,281 CHARLES: You are just amazing. 103 00:03:44,374 --> 00:03:48,134 I bet your bra burned brightest of them all. 104 00:03:48,287 --> 00:03:51,288 I'm not gonna lie, Charles, it did. 105 00:03:51,306 --> 00:03:52,213 (laughs) 106 00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,066 (whispers): What is happening? 107 00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:55,383 (whispers): I'm on it. 108 00:03:56,295 --> 00:03:57,461 Hey, Chuck, now that we're friends, 109 00:03:57,554 --> 00:03:59,053 will you tell me the secret ingredient 110 00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,072 in the Chicky-Chick Sauce? 111 00:04:00,299 --> 00:04:02,315 No can do. (tongue clicks) 112 00:04:02,468 --> 00:04:05,369 Is it grilled onions? Wink twice if it's grilled onions. 113 00:04:07,155 --> 00:04:08,972 Mm. Isn't this nice? 114 00:04:08,991 --> 00:04:12,158 -And now we don't have to watch movies on your tiny-ass screen. -Mm-hmm. 115 00:04:12,311 --> 00:04:14,644 I told you, if you sit closer, it feels bigger. 116 00:04:14,663 --> 00:04:17,238 -Yeah, you tell me that a lot. -Hey-- Easy with that. 117 00:04:17,316 --> 00:04:19,073 -People might not know you joking. -(laughs) 118 00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,550 (chuckles) 119 00:04:21,336 --> 00:04:23,244 Why is this in the couch? 120 00:04:23,338 --> 00:04:25,338 Oh, that's Max's back-scratching spoon. 121 00:04:25,491 --> 00:04:28,416 -Oh, cool. -Oh, and sometimes butt. 122 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:29,601 Dude! 123 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,253 Yeah, your boy has no respect for common areas. 124 00:04:32,422 --> 00:04:35,256 Like, why does he have to keep every cabinet and drawer open? 125 00:04:35,350 --> 00:04:36,516 Does he think the dishes need to breathe? 126 00:04:36,668 --> 00:04:38,335 Is the silverware afraid of the dark? 127 00:04:38,428 --> 00:04:40,612 Listen, okay, Max is my buddy. I don't want... 128 00:04:40,764 --> 00:04:43,507 And don't even get me started on his phone voice. 129 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,767 Yeah, I want light sauce on one half, 130 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,435 heavy sauce on the other half. 131 00:04:47,529 --> 00:04:50,030 Heavy cheese on the light half and light cheese 132 00:04:50,182 --> 00:04:51,773 -on the heavy half. -Uh, Max? 133 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,850 I'm trying to get some work done. Can you keep it down? 134 00:04:54,019 --> 00:04:55,127 Oh, yeah, sure. 135 00:04:55,354 --> 00:04:57,203 No, no, no, no, no! Okay, let me start over. 136 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:59,539 I want light sauce on one half... 137 00:04:59,691 --> 00:05:01,800 At this point, I think the whole complex 138 00:05:02,027 --> 00:05:04,194 knows his pizza order, his credit card number 139 00:05:04,287 --> 00:05:05,971 and that his mom thinks her coworker Sharon 140 00:05:06,122 --> 00:05:07,139 is sleeping with the boss. 141 00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:08,865 To be fair, that part's interesting. 142 00:05:08,884 --> 00:05:12,477 I'll give you that. Max cannot modulate his voice sometimes. 143 00:05:12,704 --> 00:05:14,313 -I mean, have you heard him try to whisper? -No. 144 00:05:14,464 --> 00:05:16,389 -That's 'cause he can't. -(laughs) 145 00:05:16,558 --> 00:05:19,376 Aww, thank you, it's so nice to know that you have my back. 146 00:05:19,394 --> 00:05:21,302 -Always. -(bagpipe playing) 147 00:05:21,396 --> 00:05:23,213 What in the hell is that? 148 00:05:23,231 --> 00:05:25,398 Oh, did I forget to mention the bagpipes? 149 00:05:25,551 --> 00:05:26,900 Come on, let's go watch the movie 150 00:05:27,069 --> 00:05:28,401 on my laptop in my bathroom. 151 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,387 If we put a towel at the bottom of the door, 152 00:05:30,389 --> 00:05:32,497 it'll muffle the high notes. 153 00:05:32,724 --> 00:05:34,666 Good God! 154 00:05:41,416 --> 00:05:44,384 -Hey, Carter. -Can you come out here? We need to talk. 155 00:05:46,421 --> 00:05:48,347 And can you shut up the bagpipes? 156 00:05:48,574 --> 00:05:50,515 It's like a thousand dying goats. 157 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:52,909 I got another kid's birthday gig. 158 00:05:52,928 --> 00:05:54,911 (Scottish accent): Have you ever seen the movie Brave? 159 00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:56,262 (Scottish accent): No. 160 00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:57,522 (regular accent): Me, neither, but apparently, 161 00:05:57,749 --> 00:05:59,173 the princess in it is Scottish. 162 00:05:59,267 --> 00:06:01,193 I lied and said I could play the bagpipes. 163 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,528 I thought, "I'm musical, how hard could it be?" 164 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,422 Turns out, very. 165 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,682 (regular accent): That explains the kilt. 166 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,275 No, actually, it doesn't. 167 00:06:09,428 --> 00:06:10,685 Oh, I'm just getting into character. 168 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,497 (accent): And I like to let my wee lads breathe. 169 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,448 Can you keep it down, 170 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,434 'cause you are driving Randi nuts. 171 00:06:17,452 --> 00:06:18,710 (regular accent): Oh, I'm driving her nuts? 172 00:06:18,937 --> 00:06:20,045 HOST (over device): Welcome back to 173 00:06:20,196 --> 00:06:23,940 Murder, Murder, Murder. 174 00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:25,384 Last we left off, 175 00:06:25,611 --> 00:06:28,962 the killer was disemboweling the young housewife 176 00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:30,780 with dull kitchen shears. 177 00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:35,135 She pulled out her victim's slippery, stringy intestines 178 00:06:35,287 --> 00:06:37,637 and methodically piled them on the floor, 179 00:06:37,714 --> 00:06:42,383 placing her no-longer beating heart on top. 180 00:06:42,477 --> 00:06:46,238 Oh, yeah. This gonna be a good one. 181 00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:48,298 Plus, she eats all my junk food. 182 00:06:48,316 --> 00:06:49,724 How am I supposed to eat my feelings 183 00:06:49,818 --> 00:06:51,392 with Randi's kale chips? 184 00:06:51,470 --> 00:06:53,303 All right, man, look, I don't want to get in the middle of... 185 00:06:53,321 --> 00:06:55,730 And she leaves her painty-brush water in coffee cups 186 00:06:55,824 --> 00:06:56,915 all over the place. 187 00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:58,083 I accidentally drank it. 188 00:06:58,234 --> 00:06:59,643 It really didn't taste good. 189 00:06:59,736 --> 00:07:02,921 Why wouldn't you look inside the cup before you drink it? 190 00:07:03,072 --> 00:07:05,649 'Cause it was my mug. It said "World's Greatest Bartender." 191 00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,834 Is Randi the world's greatest bartender? 192 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,669 Are you? 193 00:07:09,821 --> 00:07:11,171 This is on Randi, not me. 194 00:07:11,323 --> 00:07:12,505 Okay, look, I will admit, I mean, 195 00:07:12,658 --> 00:07:14,674 Randi's true crime podcasts make me nervous. 196 00:07:14,826 --> 00:07:17,343 I mean, at one point, I swear she was taking notes. 197 00:07:17,496 --> 00:07:19,329 Exactly. She's the problem, not me. 198 00:07:19,422 --> 00:07:20,772 (shushes) Randi will hear you. 199 00:07:20,999 --> 00:07:21,998 It's fine, I'm whispering. 200 00:07:22,091 --> 00:07:24,693 No. You're not. 201 00:07:26,763 --> 00:07:28,171 This has been great. 202 00:07:28,264 --> 00:07:29,355 You know, not many daughters 203 00:07:29,508 --> 00:07:31,174 would go with their mother on a first date. 204 00:07:31,267 --> 00:07:32,266 Y'all must be close. 205 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,011 Mm. She's the Ethel to my Lucy. 206 00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:36,270 Well, if anyone's Lucy, it's me. 207 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,698 -I'm the redhead. -Ow, okay. 208 00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:41,275 If you'll excuse me, nature calls. 209 00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:43,520 Actually, she called 20 minutes ago, 210 00:07:43,613 --> 00:07:46,372 but I've been having so much fun, I put her on hold. 211 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,041 -(laughter) -I'll go with you. 212 00:07:48,193 --> 00:07:49,359 I have a few questions about your mascot. 213 00:07:49,377 --> 00:07:50,952 Why does Sergeant McCluck wear an eyepatch? 214 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,545 Was he wounded in the war? 215 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,097 -If so, which war? -Uh... 216 00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:58,218 I was nervous, but he seems nice, right? 217 00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,645 Yeah, and-and he seems to really like you, 218 00:08:00,797 --> 00:08:04,374 so I don't know why you feel the need to lie to impress him. 219 00:08:04,392 --> 00:08:06,209 What are you talking about? 220 00:08:06,228 --> 00:08:08,320 Well, all those stories from before, 221 00:08:08,471 --> 00:08:11,047 like, New York, A-Annie Leibovitz? 222 00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:12,657 All those things are true. 223 00:08:12,809 --> 00:08:15,309 You tried out to be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader? 224 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:18,145 Yes. Just because you don't have hand-eye coordination 225 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,480 doesn't mean I don't. 226 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:23,001 How has none of this ever come up before? 227 00:08:23,152 --> 00:08:25,670 Well, we usually talk about you. 228 00:08:25,897 --> 00:08:27,247 Which is fine. 229 00:08:27,399 --> 00:08:30,383 It comes with the territory of being a mom. 230 00:08:32,404 --> 00:08:34,829 Sergeant McCluck doesn't actually need an eyepatch. 231 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,239 He just wears one to look cool. 232 00:08:36,258 --> 00:08:39,559 I know. I'm disappointed, too. 233 00:08:45,842 --> 00:08:47,192 How was the double date with your mom? 234 00:08:47,343 --> 00:08:49,194 Oh, uh, the guy was very charming. 235 00:08:49,345 --> 00:08:51,938 Oscar is obsessed with his sauce. 236 00:08:52,090 --> 00:08:53,940 I will never say that out loud again. 237 00:08:54,092 --> 00:08:55,182 -(chuckles) -And apparently, 238 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,944 my mother has lived a whole secret life. 239 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,353 Ooh, was she a spy? 240 00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,948 She has the cold indifference of a spy. 241 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,433 She does speak a little Russian. 242 00:09:03,451 --> 00:09:05,043 And she can knock back a handle of vodka 243 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,711 faster than a college student. 244 00:09:06,863 --> 00:09:08,046 KAT: Who knows. 245 00:09:08,273 --> 00:09:09,289 You could be right. 246 00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:10,715 Turns out I know very little about her. 247 00:09:10,867 --> 00:09:12,551 I had no idea she lived in New York. 248 00:09:12,778 --> 00:09:15,945 Yeah, that's when she studied with Bob Fosse. 249 00:09:15,964 --> 00:09:18,615 -What? -You know: "Hoom, 250 00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:21,226 hoom, jazz." 251 00:09:22,971 --> 00:09:24,470 I didn't even know she was a dancer. 252 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,064 Oh, she stopped after she broke her ankle at Woodstock. 253 00:09:26,291 --> 00:09:27,640 What... She was at Woodstock? 254 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,960 Yeah, she hitchhiked there. 800 miles in a horse trailer. 255 00:09:31,129 --> 00:09:33,479 How do you guys know all of this? 256 00:09:33,632 --> 00:09:35,465 I have a standing coffee date with her. 257 00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:37,483 She comes in for a drink sometimes. We chat. 258 00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,744 I always ask my elders questions about their lives. 259 00:09:39,896 --> 00:09:41,413 They're our living history. 260 00:09:41,564 --> 00:09:43,915 What else don't I know? Is she Banksy? 261 00:09:44,142 --> 00:09:46,233 Was she on the grassy knoll? 262 00:09:46,328 --> 00:09:48,645 No, but she did spend a weekend at the Kennedy Compound. 263 00:09:48,663 --> 00:09:53,333 She said nothing wild happened, but come on, it's the Kennedys. 264 00:09:53,501 --> 00:09:55,910 Do you know this kind of stuff about your mom? 265 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,596 Oh, yeah, everything. I mean, 266 00:09:57,747 --> 00:09:59,505 since it's just the two of us, we're really close. 267 00:09:59,658 --> 00:10:02,434 Like, she's my mom, but we're also friends. 268 00:10:02,585 --> 00:10:04,269 You know? Like the Gilmore Girls. 269 00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:08,164 Seriously, man, I never understand you. 270 00:10:08,183 --> 00:10:10,350 I know too much about my mama. 271 00:10:10,502 --> 00:10:14,504 That's what happens when you have to sponge-bathe them. 272 00:10:14,522 --> 00:10:16,339 You know, there are so many things I wish I'd known 273 00:10:16,358 --> 00:10:18,508 about my dad before he died. 274 00:10:18,601 --> 00:10:20,434 Now I feel like I'm making the same mistake 275 00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,178 with the parent who's still living. 276 00:10:22,197 --> 00:10:24,681 So ask her about herself. 277 00:10:24,699 --> 00:10:26,349 She'll love that. 278 00:10:26,368 --> 00:10:28,701 Little tip: don't call her an elder to her face. 279 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,253 Well, that I know. 280 00:10:34,359 --> 00:10:36,801 Can you not shut a cabinet? 281 00:10:36,878 --> 00:10:38,136 Maybe I was doing inventory 282 00:10:38,287 --> 00:10:40,380 because someone keeps stealing my cereal. 283 00:10:40,532 --> 00:10:42,790 Now what am I supposed to do with this bowl of milk? 284 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,200 Well, that's on you. 285 00:10:44,293 --> 00:10:46,561 What kind of a psychopath pours the milk first? 286 00:10:50,967 --> 00:10:52,225 Phil, we got to figure this out. 287 00:10:52,377 --> 00:10:53,968 I can't wait another six months for that sauce, 288 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,378 I got a hankering I can't shake. 289 00:10:55,397 --> 00:10:58,231 Does this one taste Cluck-tastic? 290 00:10:59,308 --> 00:11:01,234 Closer, but we're missing the tanginess. 291 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,219 I love when you say "we" when I'm the one 292 00:11:03,238 --> 00:11:04,645 doing most of the ding-dang work. 293 00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:08,500 Sorry, I get ugly when I'm trying to solve a mystery. 294 00:11:08,727 --> 00:11:11,819 I almost stabbed Kat during a game of Clue. 295 00:11:11,897 --> 00:11:15,231 Hey, is this dress too much for dinner with my mom? 296 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:16,416 How fancy is the restaurant? 297 00:11:16,568 --> 00:11:18,251 Oh, it's the same place we went with Charles. 298 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,161 I guess they carded her, and in her words, 299 00:11:20,255 --> 00:11:22,180 "I'd like to go back for more of that." 300 00:11:22,331 --> 00:11:24,073 It's perfect. You look beautiful. 301 00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:26,184 I'm kind of nervous. You know, it's kind of like a blind date. 302 00:11:26,335 --> 00:11:28,578 -I hope I like this Sheila. -(chuckles) 303 00:11:28,596 --> 00:11:30,596 Oh, you're gonna love her. She's a hoot. 304 00:11:30,749 --> 00:11:32,265 It's kind of exciting. It's like starting 305 00:11:32,417 --> 00:11:33,340 a whole new chapter of our relationship. 306 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,193 Ooh, don't say "relationship" 307 00:11:35,344 --> 00:11:36,510 on a first date, you'll scare her off. 308 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,196 And be a gentleman. Pull her chair out. 309 00:11:38,423 --> 00:11:39,939 Ooh, and bring mints in case things go well 310 00:11:40,091 --> 00:11:41,199 and you get to smooching. 311 00:11:41,426 --> 00:11:43,092 Okay, this bit's gone far enough. 312 00:11:43,111 --> 00:11:44,110 I felt that. 313 00:11:44,187 --> 00:11:47,872 Pickles. It was pickles. 314 00:11:48,024 --> 00:11:50,099 Phil, we cock-a-doodle-did it! 315 00:11:50,118 --> 00:11:53,002 Ah, there's that ding-dang "we" again. 316 00:11:55,198 --> 00:11:56,881 Mmm, mmm, it's so good. 317 00:11:57,108 --> 00:11:58,717 Oh, you want some bagpipes with that? 318 00:11:58,793 --> 00:12:00,427 (bagpipe playing) 319 00:12:02,614 --> 00:12:04,781 Carter, Carter, come in here and settle this. 320 00:12:04,783 --> 00:12:06,799 Ugh, so close. 321 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,968 Hey. How's everyone doing? 322 00:12:09,137 --> 00:12:10,878 -She keeps eating all my junk food -He won't stop with the bagpipes 323 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,564 -and putting the boxes away empty. -and he's been loud-talking 324 00:12:12,791 --> 00:12:13,306 -Who does that? -all over my apartment. 325 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,548 Okay. 326 00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:16,901 Sounds like you both have some valid concerns. 327 00:12:17,128 --> 00:12:18,478 And Carter agrees with me. 328 00:12:18,646 --> 00:12:21,464 He says that you talk too loud and you suck at the bagpipes. 329 00:12:21,483 --> 00:12:22,982 -(gasps) -Okay, yeah, that's not exactly what I... 330 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,075 Well, he told me that your podcasts are dumb 331 00:12:24,152 --> 00:12:25,151 and you might be a murderer. 332 00:12:25,303 --> 00:12:26,227 -CARTER: Okay... -(gasps) 333 00:12:26,321 --> 00:12:27,470 That was taken out of context. 334 00:12:27,563 --> 00:12:29,472 Well, what the hell was the context? 335 00:12:29,491 --> 00:12:30,807 Oh, hold on-- I refuse to get in trouble for this. 336 00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:32,141 You keep putting me in the middle. 337 00:12:32,235 --> 00:12:33,400 How am I supposed to choose between 338 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,978 my girlfriend and my best friend? 339 00:12:34,996 --> 00:12:37,814 -You're both annoying. -(both gasp) 340 00:12:37,832 --> 00:12:40,407 And I'm not coming back here until you two work this out. 341 00:12:40,502 --> 00:12:42,243 (scoffs) It's a lost cause, Carter. 342 00:12:42,337 --> 00:12:45,004 Yeah, I'm never gonna get along with Kilty McLoudass. 343 00:12:45,173 --> 00:12:48,558 Actually, you just gave me an idea. 344 00:12:52,421 --> 00:12:53,846 Now, this is the Get Along shirt. 345 00:12:54,015 --> 00:12:55,440 Stephanie and I used it in couples therapy 346 00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:56,924 and because of it, our marriage lasted two years longer 347 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,276 than it should have. 348 00:12:58,427 --> 00:12:59,852 Now, you two are gonna wear it until you figure out 349 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,595 how to get along. 350 00:13:01,689 --> 00:13:04,507 We'll just take it off the moment he walks out the door. 351 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,192 Yeah, you do that, and neither of you are getting any. 352 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,703 Sex for you and a paycheck for you. 353 00:13:09,864 --> 00:13:10,955 (door closes) 354 00:13:11,107 --> 00:13:13,182 How did he hear me? I was whispering. 355 00:13:13,201 --> 00:13:16,002 No, you were not. 356 00:13:23,711 --> 00:13:24,877 Okay, so your favorite movie 357 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,638 is The Maltese Falcon, noted. 358 00:13:26,865 --> 00:13:27,788 What's your favorite novel? 359 00:13:27,882 --> 00:13:29,549 Lord of the Flies. 360 00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:32,293 It reminds me of my time on the pageant circuit. 361 00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:34,537 Interesting, I'll reread it with that in mind. 362 00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:37,557 Uh, what about fears? What's your biggest fear? 363 00:13:37,709 --> 00:13:39,058 I don't know. 364 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,879 Spiders and the middle seat on an airplane. 365 00:13:42,897 --> 00:13:44,213 Okay, here's a big one: 366 00:13:44,232 --> 00:13:45,882 What's one thing you would change about your life 367 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,785 -if you could? -Agreeing to this dinner. 368 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,145 I feel like you've spent the whole time 369 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,722 interrogating me. 370 00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:54,891 I'm not interrogating you. 371 00:13:54,909 --> 00:13:57,335 I'm just asking very pointed questions 372 00:13:57,486 --> 00:14:00,321 to get information that you've never disclosed to me before. 373 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:04,509 Well, I'm exhausted, and we're only on the first course. 374 00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:05,659 Where is this coming from? 375 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,420 I'm worried you could die tomorrow 376 00:14:07,496 --> 00:14:09,347 and I'll never know your natural hair color. 377 00:14:09,498 --> 00:14:12,075 That one I'm taking to the grave. 378 00:14:12,093 --> 00:14:14,760 Which apparently is coming sooner than I thought. 379 00:14:14,929 --> 00:14:16,688 I'm sorry. This is all coming out wrong. 380 00:14:16,839 --> 00:14:19,691 I'm trying to get to know you. I thought this would be fun. 381 00:14:19,918 --> 00:14:22,768 Mm, yes, because being reminded of my own mortality 382 00:14:22,921 --> 00:14:25,512 always puts me in a festive mood. 383 00:14:25,607 --> 00:14:28,758 Come on, everybody else knows your history but me. 384 00:14:28,851 --> 00:14:30,259 I mean, were you the fifth Beatle? 385 00:14:30,353 --> 00:14:32,445 Are you a spy? Some people think you might be a spy. 386 00:14:32,597 --> 00:14:34,263 Oh, honey, now you're being ridiculous. 387 00:14:34,282 --> 00:14:37,100 Fine, I just, I won't ask any more questions. 388 00:14:37,118 --> 00:14:39,102 -Fine. -(slurps) 389 00:14:39,195 --> 00:14:40,378 Don't slurp, Katharine. 390 00:14:40,529 --> 00:14:42,529 I-I'm just enjoying my soup, Mother. 391 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,607 Does the whole restaurant need to know that? 392 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,609 This is why we'll never be the Gilmore Girls. 393 00:14:46,611 --> 00:14:49,462 You'd rather criticize who I am than talk to me. 394 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,280 Good Lord, you act like slurping soup 395 00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:53,892 is an inherent part of your personality. 396 00:14:54,043 --> 00:14:55,226 Maybe it is. 397 00:14:55,453 --> 00:14:57,211 Hi, I'm Tom, I'll be taking over for Sarah. 398 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,471 How's everything so far? 399 00:14:58,623 --> 00:15:00,255 Great, Tom. 400 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,975 Could I please get a gin martini? 401 00:15:03,128 --> 00:15:04,143 Of course. 402 00:15:04,295 --> 00:15:05,628 Uh, did you need to see my ID? 403 00:15:05,647 --> 00:15:06,905 No. 404 00:15:07,132 --> 00:15:08,615 (stifled laugh) 405 00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,659 I liked Sarah better. 406 00:15:13,229 --> 00:15:14,395 Do you think he's gone? 407 00:15:14,489 --> 00:15:16,664 Maybe he's standing outside the door. 408 00:15:19,144 --> 00:15:20,067 BOTH: Ow! 409 00:15:20,161 --> 00:15:21,252 I'll do it. 410 00:15:21,404 --> 00:15:22,587 I just got to get my eye to the hole. 411 00:15:22,738 --> 00:15:25,164 -Don't mansplain peepholes to me. -(grunts) 412 00:15:25,316 --> 00:15:27,041 He's gone. All right, I'm taking this off. 413 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,575 What-what, and messing up my hair? 414 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:31,512 -Absolutely not. We are cutting this off. -Okay. 415 00:15:32,415 --> 00:15:33,914 Wait, w... Where are you going? 416 00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:36,008 -(grunts) To get the scissors. -No, but they're in the kitchen. 417 00:15:36,161 --> 00:15:36,935 No, they're in the couch. 418 00:15:37,162 --> 00:15:38,995 -Wait, why? -I was trimming. 419 00:15:39,013 --> 00:15:40,680 What-what were you... Oh, never mind, 420 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,523 I don't even want to know. 421 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,020 (grunts) 422 00:15:48,173 --> 00:15:49,763 -Goodness, get it... -(grunts) 423 00:15:49,841 --> 00:15:53,009 Who does Carter think he is, putting us on a time-out? 424 00:15:53,027 --> 00:15:55,027 I know, right? Like he's so great. 425 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,788 Maybe he should look in the mirror. 426 00:15:56,939 --> 00:15:59,182 -Which he does all the time. -(chuckles) 427 00:15:59,275 --> 00:16:01,960 And it's not just mirrors, it's any reflective surface. 428 00:16:02,111 --> 00:16:06,038 Glass, spoon, puddle of water, puddle of beer. 429 00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,373 He's really into puddles. 430 00:16:07,525 --> 00:16:09,358 (laughs) Hey, you ever notice 431 00:16:09,377 --> 00:16:10,969 that when Carter drinks soda water, that he swishes it 432 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,786 around in his mouth before he swallows it? 433 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,547 Yes. I've asked him about that, 434 00:16:14,699 --> 00:16:16,398 and he said it's to get the bubbles out. 435 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,310 -Then why not just drink regular water? -(both laugh) 436 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,206 (sighs) Look, 437 00:16:23,224 --> 00:16:26,375 I've only ever lived with women who were charmed by me. 438 00:16:26,544 --> 00:16:28,211 My mom thought my quirks were cute, 439 00:16:28,304 --> 00:16:31,739 and Brigitte would forgive them if we showered together. 440 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,809 You know, this is all new to me. 441 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,903 It's not just on you. 442 00:16:38,056 --> 00:16:39,480 I really wanted to live alone, 443 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,000 so, I think even if you were perfect, 444 00:16:42,151 --> 00:16:44,318 I'd still find stuff to complain about. 445 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,412 Well, that explains why you were being so harsh 446 00:16:46,564 --> 00:16:48,414 -about my bagpipes. -Oh, no, no, no. 447 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,509 That was a perfectly appropriate reaction. 448 00:16:54,163 --> 00:16:55,662 I guess this is gonna be a bigger adjustment 449 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,256 than we both thought. 450 00:16:57,408 --> 00:17:00,501 I'm willing to meet you halfway. 451 00:17:00,595 --> 00:17:02,094 Me too. 452 00:17:02,247 --> 00:17:04,022 You know what? I promise, from now on, 453 00:17:04,173 --> 00:17:06,024 I will leave you half of your cookies. 454 00:17:06,175 --> 00:17:09,602 -And I will close half of your cabinets. -(chuckles) Deal. 455 00:17:09,754 --> 00:17:11,937 -Should we toast to it? -Yeah, I'll grab some beers. 456 00:17:12,014 --> 00:17:14,090 Oh, I got it. 457 00:17:14,108 --> 00:17:16,108 Wh... Why did you... 458 00:17:16,261 --> 00:17:18,995 You know what? Who cares. You got some chips in here? 459 00:17:20,765 --> 00:17:22,689 Hey, why are you slowing down? 460 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,268 You usually take stop signs as a suggestion. 461 00:17:25,361 --> 00:17:27,603 I want to show you something. 462 00:17:27,622 --> 00:17:28,938 You see that house? 463 00:17:29,107 --> 00:17:31,865 That's where my high school boyfriend lived. 464 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,944 I used to sneak out, scale that tree 465 00:17:35,037 --> 00:17:37,221 and climb in that window just to see him. 466 00:17:37,373 --> 00:17:39,390 Bet Grandma didn't like that. 467 00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:42,060 Yeah, most of the time she didn't even realize I was gone. 468 00:17:42,253 --> 00:17:44,211 -Really? -(sighs) 469 00:17:44,305 --> 00:17:47,881 I used to do anything to try to get her to notice me. 470 00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:51,051 Even winning all those pageants didn't get her attention. 471 00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,645 Is that why you got into them? 472 00:17:52,721 --> 00:17:53,905 At first. 473 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:58,600 But I kept at it 'cause I look damn good in a tiara. 474 00:17:58,602 --> 00:17:59,969 You really do. 475 00:18:00,062 --> 00:18:02,413 You definitely upstaged me at my bat mitzvah. 476 00:18:02,565 --> 00:18:03,581 Thank you. 477 00:18:03,732 --> 00:18:05,157 Look, the point is, 478 00:18:05,310 --> 00:18:08,160 my mom knew nothing about me. 479 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:12,315 That's why I was happy to sit back and listen to my daughter, 480 00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:14,074 and not talk about myself. 481 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:17,077 Well, you definitely paid attention to me. (chuckles) 482 00:18:17,171 --> 00:18:19,046 Some might say hawk-like attention. 483 00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:21,690 (chuckles) I might have overcorrected. 484 00:18:21,826 --> 00:18:23,159 Little bit. 485 00:18:23,177 --> 00:18:24,493 Being a mother is hard. 486 00:18:24,662 --> 00:18:26,253 You'll see when you have your own child. 487 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:29,515 Which you should really get a move on, Katharine. 488 00:18:29,684 --> 00:18:31,517 Modern medicine has its limits. 489 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,352 Mother. 490 00:18:33,504 --> 00:18:34,737 Okay. 491 00:18:37,191 --> 00:18:40,267 Why don't we get dinner once a month? 492 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,078 Just us. 493 00:18:43,531 --> 00:18:45,439 I'd love that. 494 00:18:45,533 --> 00:18:47,375 Me too. 495 00:18:49,778 --> 00:18:52,779 That's where my best friend, Donna Simpson, lived. 496 00:18:52,874 --> 00:18:55,299 Oh, she was such a bitch. 497 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:04,049 Hey, now, this is what I like to see. 498 00:19:04,202 --> 00:19:05,551 Yep, your Get Along shirt worked. 499 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,645 And I'm sorry we put you in the middle. That was not cool. 500 00:19:07,796 --> 00:19:10,606 Oh, it's okay, I'm just happy I helped you two bond. 501 00:19:12,468 --> 00:19:13,634 Sure did. 502 00:19:13,728 --> 00:19:15,027 (chuckles) 503 00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:20,716 Doesn't it taste exactly the same as Sergeant McCluck's? 504 00:19:20,735 --> 00:19:22,568 Some would say even better. 505 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,811 It does taste exactly the same. 506 00:19:24,906 --> 00:19:26,647 Hey, ooh. 507 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,315 You've been served. 508 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,075 A cease and desist letter? 509 00:19:30,228 --> 00:19:31,502 Dang, I knew we shouldn't have bragged about 510 00:19:31,729 --> 00:19:33,004 our copycat recipe online. 511 00:19:33,155 --> 00:19:36,966 And I thought TikTok was a safe space. 512 00:19:38,661 --> 00:19:40,736 This is me at Woodstock. 513 00:19:40,829 --> 00:19:43,739 Oh, I forgot how good I look in bell-bottoms. 514 00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:45,574 You're not wearing a shirt. 515 00:19:45,668 --> 00:19:49,061 Sweetheart, with boobs like that, why would I? 516 00:19:50,172 --> 00:19:52,097 What... What is this? 517 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:53,749 The remains of my wedding dress. 518 00:19:53,768 --> 00:19:55,193 What happened to it? 519 00:19:55,344 --> 00:19:58,754 Your father ripped it off me before the rice hit the ground. 520 00:19:58,847 --> 00:20:01,181 Okay, little TMI. 521 00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:02,849 Well, what do you expect? We waited till marriage, 522 00:20:02,944 --> 00:20:04,760 so he was like a wild animal... 523 00:20:04,779 --> 00:20:07,613 Okay, no more Sheila, go back to Mom, go back to Mom. 524 00:20:07,765 --> 00:20:10,082 ♪ ♪ 525 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,620 ♪ I don't want to know this ending ♪ 526 00:20:14,772 --> 00:20:17,298 ♪ Doesn't matter anyway ♪ 527 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,870 ♪ I can get a little bit crazy ♪ 528 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,872 ♪ I can be a little too hot ♪ 529 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,874 ♪ Time to bust out, baby ♪ 530 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,134 ♪ Even if we go too far ♪ 531 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,044 ♪ I'm moving on ♪ 532 00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:33,380 ♪ And on and on and on and on and on and on ♪ 533 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:37,568 -♪ Let's go ♪ -♪ On, on, on and on and on and on. ♪ 534 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,387 Captioning sponsored by WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 535 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:43,241 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org