1
00:00:01,393 --> 00:00:04,895
♪ I was just a moment ♪
2
00:00:04,988 --> 00:00:07,489
♪ Just a moment behind. ♪
3
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,732
-Oh!
-Oh...!
-Ah!
4
00:00:08,751 --> 00:00:10,175
-Ha-ha!
-I love it!
5
00:00:10,402 --> 00:00:12,494
It's got this-this cool EDM vibe
6
00:00:12,588 --> 00:00:14,254
but also, like,
a little bit of hip-hop,
7
00:00:14,331 --> 00:00:15,422
maybe a hint of dubstep?
8
00:00:15,574 --> 00:00:17,016
One of those
has got to be right.
9
00:00:17,243 --> 00:00:18,425
That was dope.
10
00:00:18,577 --> 00:00:19,593
Your best one yet.
11
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If I were a young man,
I'd be dancing to it
12
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:25,024
with my shirt off
and my nose full of poppers.
13
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High praise, Phil.
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(chuckles)
Randi,
15
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so what did you think?
16
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It's good.
17
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Oh, that's it? Okay.
18
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,851
Well, good is good.
I'll take it.
19
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,278
Max, I need to get back
to class.
20
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I'm in the middle
of a still life,
21
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and my banana
is already rotting.
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Yes, yes, of course.
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And thank you for your simple
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-yet to-the-point...
-KAT: Oh.
25
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Oh.
26
00:00:47,773 --> 00:00:51,533
Hey. CJ sent photos
from his fancy ski vacation.
27
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Oh, wow! Look at him
going down that hill like a pro.
28
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Uh, no. Uh, he's in the pile
of snow next to that kid.
29
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Upside-down in the snow?
30
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Been there.
31
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Who's that good-looking man
next to CJ?
32
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Oh. Yeah, that's
my ex-wife's boyfriend, Xavier.
33
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I mean, what a dumb name.
34
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I mean, is he an X-Man?
35
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And his superpower is, what,
36
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throwing money around
to buy my kid's love?
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Xavier is paying
for the whole trip.
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It's kind of a touchy subject.
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Oh, nah, nah, nah, nah.
I'm cool with it.
40
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'Cause I'm gonna have the
biggest, baddest present for CJ
41
00:01:22,732 --> 00:01:23,657
when he gets back.
42
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Guess what he's coming home to.
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Super Mizula
Hyperlocal Paris Jets.
44
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I need to learn more words.
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Those are cool sneakers.
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-Yeah. Sneakers.
-Hey,
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they drop tomorrow at midnight,
so I got to get in line early.
48
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I need a line buddy.
I asked Randi,
49
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but she gave me
a definitive "hell no."
50
00:01:40,175 --> 00:01:41,992
Max, what about you?
51
00:01:42,085 --> 00:01:43,435
No way, man.
Tomorrow's my night off.
52
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Darren's covering the bar.
53
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Darren? Did you hire
Cousin Darren again?
54
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Wait, didn't you fire him for
almost burning this place down?
55
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Grandma said
I had to hire him back.
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And Grandma's kicking leg
is still strong.
57
00:01:54,431 --> 00:01:56,022
Phil, I bet
you'd be a good line buddy.
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Mm, no can do.
I got to bake erotic cookies
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for a coed bachelor party.
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I'm gonna be up
to my naughty bits
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in naughty bits.
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Then I guess I'm on my own.
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Uh, wait.
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You didn't ask me.
65
00:02:08,945 --> 00:02:10,295
I didn't think
it was your scene.
66
00:02:10,372 --> 00:02:12,522
I mean, if we were doing
a math-only trivia night,
67
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then you'd be the first person
I'd call.
68
00:02:14,376 --> 00:02:16,860
I know you're just joking,
but can we do that?
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Look, I'm just saying,
all right,
70
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these sneakerheads
don't mess around.
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Ha. Believe me, I have waited
in some pretty aggressive lines.
72
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I got the last copy, Muggles!
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(crying)
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Uh, I'll send it to you
when I'm done.
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Not exactly the same crowd.
76
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,548
But as long as I got somebody
to keep my place while I pee.
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This'll be fun!
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Ooh, do people wear costumes?
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They do not.
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I repeat,
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00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,707
they do not.
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♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
83
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♪ Nothin' wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
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(indistinct chatter)
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Wow. Look how far down
this line goes.
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Don't people know they can buy
sneakers at Dillard's
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with no line?
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These are exclusive.
I mean, half the people here
89
00:03:01,831 --> 00:03:03,348
won't even wear 'em.
They'll jack up the price
90
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,017
and sell 'em online
to a Saudi prince
91
00:03:05,244 --> 00:03:06,351
or Will Smith's kids.
92
00:03:06,578 --> 00:03:09,579
Well, I don't get it,
but I'm glad to be here.
93
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So, uh, what do we do now?
(chuckles)
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We're doing it.
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Oh, okay.
96
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You know,
when I was in fourth grade
97
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and we had to wait in line,
my teacher would say,
98
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"Turn to the person behind you
and learn something about them."
99
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I learned that Jenny White
liked to say,
100
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"Stop staring at me, weirdo."
101
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I think
I know you pretty well, Kat.
102
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I know, at some point tonight,
you'll break out the cat videos.
103
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Oh, that's 'cause
there's nothing's cuter
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than a cat meowing "I love you."
105
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-(chuckles)
-Uh, oh,
106
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here's something you may not
know about me: one summer,
107
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I worked in the jewelry section
of that department store.
108
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Oh. Well, last summer,
I was followed by security
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in that very same
department store.
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-Okay, so there's that.
-Mm-hmm.
111
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You know I like to sing,
but did you know
112
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that my high school choir
placed first in the county?
113
00:03:52,791 --> 00:03:54,382
Oh. Hey, I was in choir, too.
114
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I loved it, but I was terrible.
115
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Sister Mary Ellen
would always say that my voice
116
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was sent by Lucifer to test her.
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I thought
nuns were supposed to be nice,
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although I'm basing that
solely on Sister Act
119
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-and Sister Act 2:
Back in the Habit.
-Mm.
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She had the worst taste.
121
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Songs only your grandparents
would know,
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00:04:09,941 --> 00:04:11,416
like "There's a Kind of Hush."
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(chuckles):
Oh, we had to sing that, too.
124
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So lame.
125
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I love it.
126
00:04:16,164 --> 00:04:18,090
It's my go-to for karaoke.
127
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Dude, we sang it
in my choir, too.
128
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-No way!
-We did, too.
129
00:04:22,821 --> 00:04:24,412
I hated it so hard.
130
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Are all high school choir
teachers stuck in the '60s?
131
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(chuckles)
I'll be thrilled
132
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if I never have to hear
that song again.
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(chuckles)
134
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♪ There's a kind of hush ♪
135
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Oh. Yeah.
I could've called that, too.
136
00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:36,090
♪ All over the world ♪
137
00:04:36,184 --> 00:04:37,091
♪ Tonight ♪
138
00:04:37,185 --> 00:04:38,110
You know you want to.
139
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:40,279
♪ All over the world ♪
140
00:04:40,506 --> 00:04:41,780
♪ You can hear the sound ♪
141
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♪ Of lovers in love. ♪
142
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SHEILA:
Hello, Randi.
143
00:04:51,941 --> 00:04:53,441
Geez, Sheila!
144
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I took a sip.
145
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,186
You're such a maverick,
146
00:04:56,204 --> 00:04:58,038
drinking rosé off-season.
147
00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:00,540
Women today can do anything.
148
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,542
What are you doing here?
149
00:05:02,694 --> 00:05:06,363
I was home obsessing over
my breakup with Preston again.
150
00:05:06,381 --> 00:05:10,033
I-I was hoping Kat could
provide a fun distraction:
151
00:05:10,052 --> 00:05:11,292
a puzzle, or a game,
152
00:05:11,419 --> 00:05:14,220
or just watching her bump
into something.
153
00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:17,557
You know, sometimes I think she
must have an inner-ear thing.
154
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,376
But Kat's out with Carter,
155
00:05:19,394 --> 00:05:22,212
so I was gonna
kind of have a night to myself.
156
00:05:22,230 --> 00:05:24,214
A bubble bath, a trashy book,
157
00:05:24,383 --> 00:05:26,216
and maybe take a lap
around the living room naked,
158
00:05:26,234 --> 00:05:28,643
'cause, you know, I'd be alone.
159
00:05:28,737 --> 00:05:33,390
Well, you deserve it. And I am
not going to get in the way.
160
00:05:33,392 --> 00:05:35,876
-Well, I appreciate that.
-(sighs)
161
00:05:36,027 --> 00:05:38,170
It's just that your,
uh, body language
162
00:05:38,246 --> 00:05:40,188
is telling a whole other story.
163
00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:42,382
(knock on door)
164
00:05:44,736 --> 00:05:46,252
Hi, I left my phone here
this morning.
165
00:05:46,405 --> 00:05:49,089
-Hello, Oscar.
-Oh, sorry, I didn't know
you were entertaining.
166
00:05:49,241 --> 00:05:51,016
Oh, I'm not,
no one's entertaining anyone.
167
00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:52,351
Ugh, I'm having the worst day.
168
00:05:52,578 --> 00:05:55,595
Tell us about it,
we've got nothing but time.
169
00:05:55,747 --> 00:05:56,930
That's not a hundred percent...
170
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,431
My boss gave my truck--
171
00:05:58,584 --> 00:06:00,934
the one with the seat
perfectly molded to my butt--
172
00:06:01,086 --> 00:06:02,343
to his loser son-in-law.
173
00:06:02,437 --> 00:06:04,588
Now I have to drive the small,
smelly truck.
174
00:06:04,606 --> 00:06:06,490
Oh, that's not good.
175
00:06:07,183 --> 00:06:08,992
You have no idea.
176
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,781
Ooh, now that you say it,
I am getting
177
00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:17,358
a whiff of curdled milk
and wet dog.
178
00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:20,128
I'm getting...
(sniffs) pine.
179
00:06:21,607 --> 00:06:23,698
No way, now my boss
is making me cover
180
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,610
his jerk son-in-law's shift
on Sunday. That's my day off!
181
00:06:26,703 --> 00:06:28,294
I have an idea, hear me out.
182
00:06:28,463 --> 00:06:30,722
You need to vent.
And you need a distraction.
183
00:06:30,874 --> 00:06:32,891
I like where this is going.
184
00:06:33,042 --> 00:06:34,375
Come sit back down.
185
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:37,454
Or you can go sit down
at the Middle C.
186
00:06:37,472 --> 00:06:41,441
Mm, they do have better wine.
This is undrinkable.
187
00:06:42,461 --> 00:06:44,218
I like this for you--
you know,
188
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:45,812
you're drinking,
you're processing,
189
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,572
you're letting Randi
take her bath.
190
00:06:47,649 --> 00:06:48,965
I guess I could...
191
00:06:48,984 --> 00:06:50,967
You totally could.
Stop doubting yourself!
192
00:06:51,136 --> 00:06:53,486
All right. Thank you.
193
00:06:53,563 --> 00:06:54,821
(sighs)
194
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,415
(knock on door)
195
00:06:56,566 --> 00:06:58,208
Hold on, Sheila.
196
00:06:59,402 --> 00:07:00,902
Hey, quick question.
197
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:06,407
Um, what did you mean when you
said that my song was "good"?
198
00:07:06,501 --> 00:07:09,428
Um, I meant that it was good.
199
00:07:09,579 --> 00:07:11,245
Yeah, you said.
200
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:14,766
It's just I thought, you know,
as a fellow artist,
201
00:07:14,993 --> 00:07:16,268
that you might expand on that.
202
00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:19,012
Max, you pulled me out
of class to listen to it.
203
00:07:19,164 --> 00:07:20,180
I was a little preoccupied.
204
00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:22,524
Oh. Well, let me play it
for you again.
205
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,737
So close yet so far.
206
00:07:30,342 --> 00:07:33,193
♪ There's a kind of hush ♪
207
00:07:33,345 --> 00:07:35,603
♪ All over the world tonight ♪
208
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,197
♪ All over the world
tonight ♪
209
00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:38,773
♪ All over the world ♪
210
00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:41,960
♪ You can hear the sound
of lovers in love ♪
211
00:07:42,111 --> 00:07:45,380
(off-key):
♪ You know what I mean! ♪
212
00:07:47,225 --> 00:07:48,633
Yeah, you nailed it!
213
00:07:48,785 --> 00:07:51,619
I know he was a little sharp,
but yay for spirit.
214
00:07:51,713 --> 00:07:54,139
That felt good.
Suck it, Sister Mary Ellen.
215
00:07:54,366 --> 00:07:55,882
May she rest in peace.
216
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,018
(phone rings)
217
00:07:59,554 --> 00:08:01,554
Oh, that's CJ.
I'm gonna take this.
218
00:08:01,707 --> 00:08:02,647
Hey, son.
219
00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:06,151
And pee while you're at it--
I got you!
220
00:08:06,302 --> 00:08:08,895
-(cat meowing)
-(laughs)
221
00:08:09,064 --> 00:08:12,215
I'm all about
those "I love you" cats.
222
00:08:12,234 --> 00:08:13,975
Have you seen Señor Don Gato?
223
00:08:14,069 --> 00:08:15,401
He says "I love you" in Spanish.
224
00:08:15,554 --> 00:08:16,402
No!
225
00:08:16,555 --> 00:08:18,404
Obsessed!
226
00:08:18,481 --> 00:08:20,223
(cat meowing)
227
00:08:20,242 --> 00:08:21,574
That's amazing.
228
00:08:21,727 --> 00:08:23,076
These cats should have
their own show.
229
00:08:23,152 --> 00:08:25,061
Like, it could really bring
people together,
230
00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:27,564
because love is love no matter
what language your cat speaks.
231
00:08:27,657 --> 00:08:29,674
You're kind of out there,
aren't you?
232
00:08:29,901 --> 00:08:31,492
-A little bit.
-(cat meows)
233
00:08:31,661 --> 00:08:32,919
Wait, did you hear that?
234
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,162
-(cat meowing)
-Oh, yes.
235
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,681
Look, there's a kitty.
236
00:08:36,758 --> 00:08:38,424
Oh, and it's in the street,
that's very dangerous.
237
00:08:38,577 --> 00:08:40,018
I have a cat carrier in
my truck. Do you mind if I...
238
00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:42,395
-Yeah, yeah, you gotta.
-Okay, I'll be right back.
239
00:08:44,082 --> 00:08:45,482
(tires screech)
240
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,193
KAT:
I'm okay!
241
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,760
♪ I was just a moment behind ♪
242
00:08:56,778 --> 00:08:59,579
♪ Just a moment behind. ♪
243
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,190
It's good.
244
00:09:03,285 --> 00:09:05,192
Okay, it's pretty clear,
you hate it.
245
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,861
I don't hate it.
246
00:09:06,938 --> 00:09:11,291
It's fine. I actually think it's
good to be a little polarizing.
247
00:09:11,459 --> 00:09:12,776
You know,
like brussels sprouts--
248
00:09:12,778 --> 00:09:14,553
some people love them,
some people hate them.
249
00:09:14,704 --> 00:09:17,447
All that matters is they're part
of the national conversation.
250
00:09:17,465 --> 00:09:20,708
Well, if it helps,
I love brussels sprouts.
251
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,186
You know what? I'm gonna go.
252
00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:27,548
I have a penis emergency.
253
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:28,641
Oh, uh...
254
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,384
He means his cookies.
255
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:31,961
And by "his cookies," he means?
256
00:09:32,055 --> 00:09:33,697
Actual cookies.
257
00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:37,984
Hey. This little guy
is so sweet,
258
00:09:38,136 --> 00:09:40,561
came right to me; no collar.
259
00:09:40,730 --> 00:09:42,488
It's so frustrating--
if they can say, "I love you,"
260
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:45,750
why can't they say,
"I live at 400 Crenshaw Avenue"?
261
00:09:45,977 --> 00:09:47,252
No cuts.
262
00:09:47,403 --> 00:09:48,645
(laughs)
263
00:09:48,814 --> 00:09:50,255
Dude, I said no cuts.
264
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,482
Are you serious?
You know I was here.
265
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,500
Hey, I don't know how many pairs
they've got in there.
266
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,595
I'm not letting some rando
cat lady ahead of me.
267
00:09:56,746 --> 00:10:01,099
Rando? We sang together!
We bonded over Señor Don Gato!
268
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,342
Back of the line, ma'am.
269
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:03,918
Daisy, you gotta
help me out here.
270
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,937
Sorry.
Je ne parle pas anglais.
271
00:10:06,756 --> 00:10:09,107
Hey, it's-it's really important
that my friend get his shoes.
272
00:10:09,334 --> 00:10:10,834
-No cuts!
-No cuts.
273
00:10:10,852 --> 00:10:12,277
-Back of the line.
-No cuts.
274
00:10:12,428 --> 00:10:14,687
-Get in back of the line.
-No cuts.
-(others clamoring)
275
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:18,191
I'm disappointed in you!
I'm disappointed in you, Daisy.
276
00:10:18,343 --> 00:10:20,267
I'm disappointed
in all of y'all.
277
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,621
Not you, you're great.
278
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,940
I don't know
what I'm doing wrong.
279
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,851
They look more like umbrellas.
280
00:10:27,869 --> 00:10:30,128
Yeah, your scale
is definitely off.
281
00:10:30,279 --> 00:10:32,613
And I've never seen one
that hooks like that.
282
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:33,965
You need more detail.
283
00:10:34,042 --> 00:10:35,783
I have no idea what
I'm putting in my mouth.
284
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,528
Well, for me, it always helps
to have a reference.
285
00:10:38,621 --> 00:10:40,472
You know,
something to work off of.
286
00:10:40,623 --> 00:10:42,557
Oh, that could help.
287
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:47,053
No. That's what
the Internet's for, my friend.
288
00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:50,815
I know, but then you start
getting all that spam
289
00:10:50,967 --> 00:10:54,736
from ginger bears who
are horny to hook up.
290
00:10:56,231 --> 00:10:57,563
I'll take another crack at it.
291
00:10:57,732 --> 00:11:00,307
Speaking of cracks,
I forgot to do the butts.
292
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:03,995
Okay, well,
mama is going back to her tub.
293
00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:05,388
Good night!
294
00:11:05,481 --> 00:11:07,815
Just need a little
clarification on the song.
295
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,585
RANDI:
Oh, help me, sweet Black Jesus!
296
00:11:12,731 --> 00:11:15,581
Um, Kat, what the hell?
297
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:18,659
Oh, um, okay, well,
I've got good news and bad news.
298
00:11:18,737 --> 00:11:20,586
Good news: I rescued a cat.
And the bad news is,
299
00:11:20,739 --> 00:11:22,997
well, I think you get that.
300
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,074
I'm so sorry.
Second baritone Damon
301
00:11:25,243 --> 00:11:26,500
told me he'd hold my place.
302
00:11:26,594 --> 00:11:29,412
Of course he didn't.
I thought I could rely on you.
303
00:11:29,431 --> 00:11:31,915
You can! It's just
when I hear a cat meow,
304
00:11:32,008 --> 00:11:33,358
it raises the oxytocin levels
in my brain,
305
00:11:33,509 --> 00:11:35,418
and then all I can focus on
is the cat crying,
306
00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:37,437
so really, part of the blame
goes to science.
307
00:11:37,589 --> 00:11:38,980
We're never gonna
get those sneakers.
308
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,257
So when CJ gets back,
what do I give him?
309
00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:42,608
Quality time with his dad?
310
00:11:42,761 --> 00:11:44,351
He'd probably really like that.
311
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,704
How's that gonna help him
keep it fresh on the playground?
312
00:11:45,855 --> 00:11:49,040
"Hey, guys, I know
I'm wearing last year's kicks,
313
00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:51,692
but my dad really loves me."
314
00:11:52,528 --> 00:11:54,879
Carter, I really believe
there is still a chance.
315
00:11:55,031 --> 00:11:58,425
That sounded way more confident
than I feel.
316
00:12:00,795 --> 00:12:02,887
Your boss has such gall.
317
00:12:03,114 --> 00:12:06,373
"I need 'U' to work on Sun."
318
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,800
The man doesn't
respect you enough
319
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,452
-to finish a word.
-Right?
320
00:12:09,545 --> 00:12:10,729
Man, I hate that.
321
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,455
Like Carter left me this note,
322
00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:15,233
"C-H-K I-D-S."
323
00:12:15,384 --> 00:12:17,736
Somebody tell me,
what is "chick ids"?
324
00:12:17,963 --> 00:12:20,387
I think he means, "Check IDs."
325
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,574
Oh. Oh...
326
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:25,076
Son, don't drink that!
327
00:12:28,064 --> 00:12:30,490
Oscar, your problem is,
you're too nice.
328
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:33,084
You're right.
That's why I got "Ol' Smelly"
329
00:12:33,236 --> 00:12:37,330
and some stranger's basic ass
is on my carefully formed seat.
330
00:12:37,482 --> 00:12:40,241
People take advantage
of nice people.
331
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,819
Are you still coming over
Saturday to hang my shelves?
332
00:12:42,821 --> 00:12:43,820
9:00.
333
00:12:43,913 --> 00:12:45,505
8:00 would be better.
Bring bagels.
334
00:12:45,657 --> 00:12:46,580
What kind?
335
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,750
I don't want to tell you
what to do.
336
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,585
Look, you can be honest with me.
337
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,513
Just tell me what you
didn't like about it,
338
00:12:53,665 --> 00:12:55,515
as long as it doesn't
hurt my feelings.
339
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,609
Okay, the truth?
340
00:12:58,670 --> 00:12:59,611
It's a good song.
341
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,854
It just doesn't sound like you.
342
00:13:02,007 --> 00:13:05,358
You're Singer-Songwriter Guy,
not whatever that was.
343
00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:06,859
Were you rapping at one point?
344
00:13:07,012 --> 00:13:10,863
That's talk singing,
like T-Pain or T-Boz.
345
00:13:11,016 --> 00:13:12,207
It's a thing.
346
00:13:13,351 --> 00:13:15,368
Max, it doesn't matter
if I like it.
347
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:16,628
Do you like it?
348
00:13:17,539 --> 00:13:18,871
This is what sells.
349
00:13:19,024 --> 00:13:21,782
This is what they want,
a song with a focused lyric,
350
00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:24,694
a memorable hook, and a fresh
radio-friendly melody.
351
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:28,789
Did you search
"How to write a hit song"?
352
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:31,367
(chuckles awkwardly)
No.
353
00:13:31,369 --> 00:13:34,979
Okay, I'm gonna say this,
artist to artist.
354
00:13:35,131 --> 00:13:37,482
We can never really know
what they want.
355
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,559
We can aim for the bull's-eye,
but they'll probably
356
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:40,819
move the target.
357
00:13:41,046 --> 00:13:43,655
There's no guarantee anyone
will buy our work,
358
00:13:43,806 --> 00:13:47,550
so shouldn't it at least be
something that we like?
359
00:13:48,887 --> 00:13:51,704
I knew there was a reason
I obsessed over your opinion.
360
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,332
Thanks.
361
00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,001
Okay, I will leave you
to your night alone.
362
00:13:57,153 --> 00:13:59,170
Thank you.
(chuckles)
363
00:13:59,397 --> 00:14:02,423
I need fresh eyes on my penises.
364
00:14:03,902 --> 00:14:05,593
Of course you do.
365
00:14:07,572 --> 00:14:09,848
Okay, I did some recon.
366
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,498
According to the manager,
367
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,758
there are eight pairs
of size nines left.
368
00:14:12,927 --> 00:14:15,761
But only seven people
in front of us want a nine.
369
00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:17,763
There were eight,
but I talked some kid
370
00:14:17,932 --> 00:14:20,416
into paying his rent instead
because come on.
371
00:14:20,435 --> 00:14:23,194
So that means there's still
one pair left for us!
372
00:14:23,346 --> 00:14:25,421
-You're sure?
-Hundo.
373
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,257
Sorry, man, we just sold
our last nines.
374
00:14:28,351 --> 00:14:30,535
What? That's impossible.
375
00:14:30,762 --> 00:14:33,371
No, I did the math,
and it's like beginner algebra.
376
00:14:33,522 --> 00:14:34,931
I've been doing it
since I was a toddler.
377
00:14:34,949 --> 00:14:37,191
Literally. There was
an article about me.
378
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,602
I'm so not high enough for this.
379
00:14:39,621 --> 00:14:42,605
I know for a fact that you
have one pair of nines left,
380
00:14:42,607 --> 00:14:44,215
and we are not
leaving here without them.
381
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,677
Kat, stop! We're not
getting the damn shoes!
382
00:14:50,131 --> 00:14:53,474
This would never happen
at Dillard's.
383
00:14:58,547 --> 00:15:00,473
They look so real.
384
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:04,218
Too real. Like I could get
pregnant just looking at 'em.
385
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:07,388
Nurse Nelson texted me
a picture of his "cookie."
386
00:15:07,482 --> 00:15:11,134
I may have studied it
a little too long.
387
00:15:11,894 --> 00:15:14,579
Maybe split the difference
between abstract and,
388
00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:17,140
"Hey, there's
Phil's boyfriend's junk."
389
00:15:17,233 --> 00:15:20,159
It's so good having
an artist in residence.
390
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,661
All right, I'm going up.
391
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,088
I think there's still time
to have a little of my night.
392
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,572
My life is ruined!
393
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:27,333
And I set myself up for that.
394
00:15:27,485 --> 00:15:28,818
What happened?
395
00:15:29,821 --> 00:15:32,430
And if I wasn't so nice,
I'd tell him, "You're a bully,
396
00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:33,914
"and nobody likes you.
397
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:36,842
"Walking around with that
'World's Best Boss' mug--
398
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,177
"you know you bought it
yourself!
399
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,495
And you know
there's booze in that cup."
400
00:15:39,664 --> 00:15:41,330
Oh, wait, wait a minute.
Your-your phone is
401
00:15:41,349 --> 00:15:42,515
typing everything you're saying.
402
00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:43,666
Oh, no, no, be careful.
403
00:15:43,685 --> 00:15:45,276
You hit the voice-texting icon.
404
00:15:45,428 --> 00:15:47,353
Oh, yeah, I can get rid of that,
I'll just...
405
00:15:47,505 --> 00:15:48,671
(phone whooshes)
406
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:49,839
She hit the arrow?
407
00:15:49,932 --> 00:15:51,265
Yes! She sent that text
to my boss.
408
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,451
-Oh, dear.
-Maybe he won't see it.
409
00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:55,269
Yeah, yeah, no one checks
their texts anymore.
410
00:15:55,363 --> 00:15:58,681
-(phone blips)
-Oh, God, he wants me
to call him.
411
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:00,349
I knew that would happen.
412
00:16:00,368 --> 00:16:02,535
Okay, we've got to
come up with a story.
413
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:03,869
Your phone was stolen.
414
00:16:04,022 --> 00:16:05,188
Or you were hacked.
415
00:16:05,281 --> 00:16:06,706
Or you were kidnapped
and forced to text.
416
00:16:06,858 --> 00:16:09,783
You guys, none of these ideas
are going to work.
417
00:16:09,877 --> 00:16:12,878
There's only one way to play
this: you've got to own it.
418
00:16:13,047 --> 00:16:14,722
(sighs)
419
00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:19,202
I think we could've spent
a little more time
420
00:16:19,220 --> 00:16:21,229
on that kidnapping idea.
421
00:16:24,559 --> 00:16:27,560
Hey. I'm really sorry.
422
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,136
This day sucks.
423
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,546
First that phone call, now this.
424
00:16:30,639 --> 00:16:32,715
What happened on the phone call?
Is CJ okay?
425
00:16:32,734 --> 00:16:37,495
He's fine. He just told me that
Xavier proposed to Stephanie
426
00:16:37,646 --> 00:16:39,238
on the slopes today.
427
00:16:40,058 --> 00:16:42,241
So, my ex-wife
is getting married.
428
00:16:42,393 --> 00:16:45,503
Oh, wow. That's a big deal.
429
00:16:45,696 --> 00:16:49,156
So... are you worried about
CJ having a stepdad?
430
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,842
CJ and I are solid.
431
00:16:50,993 --> 00:16:53,660
It's just... when Stephanie
and I got divorced,
432
00:16:53,755 --> 00:16:55,013
everything became a competition.
433
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:59,075
She got the house,
she got primary custody of CJ.
434
00:16:59,093 --> 00:17:00,834
And now she's engaged.
435
00:17:00,928 --> 00:17:02,762
It's like she won
the "moving on" race.
436
00:17:02,914 --> 00:17:05,931
Hey, you're moving on, too.
And you've got Randi.
437
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,509
I do. And I'm
pretty sure one day,
438
00:17:08,603 --> 00:17:10,452
she's going to let me
call her my girlfriend.
439
00:17:10,454 --> 00:17:12,012
(laughs)
440
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,364
I know I'm being stupid.
441
00:17:13,516 --> 00:17:16,776
No. No, you're not.
I totally get it.
442
00:17:16,928 --> 00:17:18,611
You know, when I first
left teaching,
443
00:17:18,687 --> 00:17:20,872
I was still so caught up
with everything
444
00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:22,356
that was going on there--
445
00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:23,949
like-like who got published,
and who got tenure,
446
00:17:24,102 --> 00:17:27,286
and did Franklin ever fess up
to breaking my RBG bobblehead?
447
00:17:27,438 --> 00:17:29,272
Because I know he was
the last one to see her intact.
448
00:17:29,365 --> 00:17:32,775
I don't know how you got out
of that math department alive.
449
00:17:32,794 --> 00:17:33,959
Right?
450
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,779
I'm just saying that one day
I finally realized
451
00:17:36,798 --> 00:17:39,949
that I had started
a whole new chapter of my life
452
00:17:39,967 --> 00:17:41,117
and I was happy.
453
00:17:41,210 --> 00:17:42,393
I didn't need to keep
454
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,562
obsessing about everything
that was going on there
455
00:17:44,789 --> 00:17:47,973
because it just had nothing
to do with me anymore.
456
00:17:48,126 --> 00:17:49,609
Are you happy?
457
00:17:50,553 --> 00:17:51,718
I am.
458
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:56,074
Then turn the page.
Start that new chapter.
459
00:17:56,968 --> 00:17:58,725
You know what I learned
about you tonight?
460
00:17:58,820 --> 00:18:00,469
You are a pretty good
line buddy.
461
00:18:00,563 --> 00:18:04,415
And this wasn't a complete loss,
'cause, hey, I nailed that solo.
462
00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:05,750
-(laughs): Yeah, you did.
-Yeah, I did.
463
00:18:05,977 --> 00:18:08,644
-Yeah, I killed it.
-I know, I know,
464
00:18:08,663 --> 00:18:11,005
but he really needs this.
465
00:18:12,741 --> 00:18:14,483
Have a great night.
466
00:18:14,502 --> 00:18:17,486
Randi, you were so right,
owning it was the way to go.
467
00:18:17,505 --> 00:18:20,414
See? He respected you
for telling the truth.
468
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,657
No, he was furious.
469
00:18:21,676 --> 00:18:23,159
I have to work Sundays
for the next month.
470
00:18:23,177 --> 00:18:24,936
But I got my truck back.
471
00:18:25,087 --> 00:18:28,272
Well, then my work here
is done. Isn't it?
472
00:18:28,499 --> 00:18:29,165
I'm good.
473
00:18:29,183 --> 00:18:30,499
-I'm good.
-I'm good.
474
00:18:30,518 --> 00:18:32,593
Yup. My new penises are
in the oven.
475
00:18:32,687 --> 00:18:34,837
Now I've got to start
on the lady parts.
476
00:18:34,856 --> 00:18:37,506
But I'm a little nervous
because it's been a long time
477
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,659
-since I've seen...
-Oh, good Lord!
478
00:18:42,438 --> 00:18:46,682
Thank you. Now, what about...
downstairs?
479
00:18:46,775 --> 00:18:48,501
No!
480
00:18:52,874 --> 00:18:55,758
We are so not there yet, Phil.
481
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,680
-(knock on door)
-(moans)
482
00:19:01,957 --> 00:19:03,141
Hey!
483
00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:05,626
You're gonna play me an
acoustic version of that song,
484
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:06,535
aren't you?
485
00:19:06,629 --> 00:19:09,981
Buckle up, it's slow and sad.
486
00:19:10,132 --> 00:19:12,708
Fine, but I'm listening
from the tub.
487
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:15,802
♪ I was just a moment ♪
488
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,321
♪ Just a moment ♪
489
00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:21,808
♪ I was just a moment behind ♪
490
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,386
-(meows)
-Oh, all right, kitty,
491
00:19:23,479 --> 00:19:25,070
let's get you back to the café.
492
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,723
But before we go, can you
tell Carter you love him?
493
00:19:27,816 --> 00:19:29,074
It would really help.
494
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:30,910
Come on, just one "I love you."
495
00:19:31,078 --> 00:19:33,546
-(meows)
-I'll take it.
496
00:19:33,697 --> 00:19:35,915
No way! Is that Larry?
497
00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:37,008
He didn't say.
498
00:19:37,159 --> 00:19:39,235
Larry, my man!
499
00:19:39,237 --> 00:19:40,736
It's my boss's cat.
500
00:19:40,755 --> 00:19:43,014
I let him out this morning
by mistake and he's freaking.
501
00:19:43,165 --> 00:19:46,091
Oh, well, I'm so glad
Larry's found his home again.
502
00:19:46,168 --> 00:19:47,576
Looks like you'll be the hero.
503
00:19:47,595 --> 00:19:48,744
I know, right?
504
00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:53,265
Unless... I want to be the hero.
505
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,527
You know, I have heard
that sometimes
506
00:19:56,679 --> 00:19:59,197
employees will hold back
a couple of pairs,
507
00:19:59,348 --> 00:20:01,257
buy them with their discount,
then jack up the price
508
00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:02,849
and sell them online.
509
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,369
There wouldn't happen to be
a pair of nines in the back,
510
00:20:05,521 --> 00:20:06,662
would there?
511
00:20:09,116 --> 00:20:11,358
Fine. I'll ring them up for you.
512
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:15,463
Ah-ah-ah.
Shoes first, then the cat.
513
00:20:17,442 --> 00:20:19,792
Damn, girl, you came to play.
514
00:20:19,944 --> 00:20:20,960
Hundo.
515
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,470
(laughs)
516
00:20:28,043 --> 00:20:29,560
You know, it kind of helps
if I break the cookies
517
00:20:29,787 --> 00:20:32,045
into pieces-- then I don't
really know what I'm eating.
518
00:20:32,139 --> 00:20:34,139
That's a left butt cheek.
519
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,049
I don't think you got my point.
520
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,050
That's part of a testicle.
521
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,978
-Okay.
-All right,
522
00:20:39,130 --> 00:20:40,963
tell CJ I'll pick him up
in the morning.
523
00:20:40,982 --> 00:20:42,439
Hey, Steph.
524
00:20:42,592 --> 00:20:45,468
Congratulations,
I'm happy for you.
525
00:20:45,561 --> 00:20:46,652
See you tomorrow.
526
00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:47,970
Where's Darren?
527
00:20:48,063 --> 00:20:49,080
Carter fired him.
528
00:20:49,231 --> 00:20:51,140
Tell me, what does
this text say?
529
00:20:51,233 --> 00:20:52,566
Uh, "C-H-K D-O-B."
530
00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:53,976
Check date of birth.
531
00:20:54,069 --> 00:20:56,328
Darren thought it meant
"chicks dance on bar."
532
00:20:56,422 --> 00:21:00,483
And if you look at
his Instagram, they did.
533
00:21:00,501 --> 00:21:02,677
♪ ♪
534
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:07,080
♪ Maybe we missed our moment ♪
535
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:11,043
♪ Maybe I was to blame ♪
536
00:21:11,195 --> 00:21:15,848
♪ I didn't see that
we were already perfect ♪
537
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,517
♪ I was just a moment ♪
538
00:21:18,669 --> 00:21:20,594
♪ Just a moment behind ♪
539
00:21:20,688 --> 00:21:22,280
♪ Hey! ♪
540
00:21:22,507 --> 00:21:26,492
♪ I was just a moment behind ♪
541
00:21:28,195 --> 00:21:29,770
♪ I was just a moment ♪
542
00:21:29,864 --> 00:21:33,349
♪ Just a moment behind. ♪
543
00:21:33,442 --> 00:21:35,275
Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
544
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:39,088
Captioned by
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