1 00:00:02,286 --> 00:00:04,077 Oh, hey. Welcome. 2 00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,838 I'm just video-chatting with Oscar. 3 00:00:06,031 --> 00:00:07,489 I met him at a club and I asked him out 4 00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:09,675 because a-that's how I roll. 5 00:00:09,826 --> 00:00:11,010 OSCAR (over phone): Let me see your kitchen. 6 00:00:11,203 --> 00:00:13,237 Um, here we are. 7 00:00:13,255 --> 00:00:17,424 There's the fridge, the range. 8 00:00:17,576 --> 00:00:20,352 -Nice. -Yeah, and not to brag, but I own my own island. 9 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,855 North side of the island's a pretty chill vibe, 10 00:00:23,048 --> 00:00:26,750 but on the south side of the island, people get crazy. 11 00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:29,086 (chuckles): Very tropical. 12 00:00:29,104 --> 00:00:30,362 Where to next, my captain? 13 00:00:30,514 --> 00:00:33,607 Ooh, let me show you my outdoor space. 14 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,183 (bird cooing) 15 00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:38,762 This is my favorite part of the apartment. 16 00:00:38,822 --> 00:00:41,064 -Nice view. -Yeah, it is a nice view. 17 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:43,375 Sometimes I like to lean over and look down into my café. 18 00:00:43,568 --> 00:00:46,286 It makes me feel proud. Can you see the front? 19 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,288 -Uh, not yet. -Oh. 20 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,716 Um, can you see, there's, like, a... 21 00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:52,534 there's, like, a cat statue by the door? 22 00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:54,053 I can't quite tell. 23 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,721 (grunts) Okay. Hang on. 24 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,222 Just... Whoa! 25 00:00:57,415 --> 00:00:58,873 -(soft thud) -(bird coos) 26 00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:00,284 Oh, my gosh, are you okay? 27 00:01:00,385 --> 00:01:02,877 All good, landed on the awning. 28 00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,897 Looking a bird dead in the eye. Freaking out a little bit. 29 00:01:05,090 --> 00:01:06,623 I can see it. Shoo, bird! 30 00:01:06,683 --> 00:01:08,275 Shoo, bird! 31 00:01:09,761 --> 00:01:11,737 ♪ 32 00:01:15,526 --> 00:01:17,317 Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean 33 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,486 you don't shower after you get out of the pool? 34 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,413 Do you shower after you take a bath? 35 00:01:21,606 --> 00:01:23,415 I would if my bathtub was open to the public. 36 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,918 I would if someone peed in my bathtub. 37 00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,711 Thanks for joining in. 38 00:01:28,814 --> 00:01:29,813 See you Friday? Oh, 39 00:01:29,873 --> 00:01:31,815 and not to get you too excited, 40 00:01:31,834 --> 00:01:34,426 but I got you a little something for our six-month anniversary. 41 00:01:34,619 --> 00:01:36,261 Well, not to get you too excited, 42 00:01:36,454 --> 00:01:39,098 but I got you a little something-something. 43 00:01:39,291 --> 00:01:41,749 Oh, two somethings? 44 00:01:41,811 --> 00:01:44,010 Yeah, I'm worth it. 45 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:45,846 (laughs) Bye. 46 00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,831 Uh-oh. 47 00:01:47,850 --> 00:01:49,516 -What's wrong? -I didn't get him a something-something, 48 00:01:49,652 --> 00:01:51,110 I got him a nothing-nothing. 49 00:01:51,261 --> 00:01:52,519 Because who gives a gift 50 00:01:52,671 --> 00:01:54,171 for your six-month dating anniversary? 51 00:01:54,231 --> 00:01:56,189 It's sweet. He really likes you. 52 00:01:56,342 --> 00:01:57,950 Hmm, I just hope he's not one of those lame-ass people 53 00:01:58,143 --> 00:02:00,193 that also celebrates his half-birthday. 54 00:02:00,346 --> 00:02:01,695 Yeah, so lame. 55 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,864 I'm not just saying that 'cause my half birthday 56 00:02:04,016 --> 00:02:06,208 falls on Christmas and no one ever remembers. 57 00:02:07,536 --> 00:02:09,444 Have you noticed that there's a big old sag 58 00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:10,871 in the awning? 59 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:12,614 Oh, well, Phil, sometimes awnings have sags. 60 00:02:12,675 --> 00:02:14,282 It doesn't mean something happened. 61 00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:17,210 But it's a big old sag. Like a piano fell from the sky. 62 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,528 Okay, Let it go, Phil. 63 00:02:18,589 --> 00:02:21,306 -(phone chimes) -Oh, goody. 64 00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:23,458 Oscar and I are on for tonight. 65 00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:25,886 -Ooh, what are you guys doing? -Just watching a movie at my place. 66 00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:28,463 Look at you, taking things to the next level. 67 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,816 What level? Movie level? I-Is that a level? 68 00:02:31,009 --> 00:02:32,818 Well, nowadays, watching a movie on someone's couch 69 00:02:33,011 --> 00:02:35,470 is kind of code for definitely not 70 00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:37,489 watching a movie on someone's couch. 71 00:02:37,682 --> 00:02:40,567 Wait, what? I have never heard of that before. 72 00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:42,736 Yeah, it came as a surprise to me, too. 73 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:46,072 Henry came over last week to watch Casablanca. 74 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:51,061 By the time we got to the love scene, we were the love scene. 75 00:02:51,121 --> 00:02:53,505 And we played it again. 76 00:02:53,698 --> 00:02:56,842 Well, uh, this is just our first date. 77 00:02:56,993 --> 00:02:59,011 And-and I'm a "sex on the first date" virgin. 78 00:02:59,204 --> 00:03:01,738 Not a virgin-virgin, you know, just so you know. 79 00:03:01,757 --> 00:03:03,924 Uh, yeah, thank you for clearing that up. (chuckles) 80 00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:06,685 I'm changing it to dinner, out, at a restaurant, 81 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,670 where they have a strict policy: you know, 82 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,023 no shoes, no shirt, no sex. 83 00:03:11,216 --> 00:03:13,675 Okay, let's do a little thing. 84 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,344 Imagine Oscar with no clothes on. 85 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:17,771 How does that make you feel? 86 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:18,846 Warm. 87 00:03:19,891 --> 00:03:22,350 Exactly. So why rule it out? 88 00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:25,687 I just wasn't raised to move so quickly in relationships. 89 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,855 My mother taught me to take it slow. 90 00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:30,434 ♪ If you give the man your milk ♪ 91 00:03:30,494 --> 00:03:32,452 ♪ He won't want to buy the cow ♪ 92 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:36,790 ♪ And you'll make God cry. ♪ 93 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,200 That is some old-fashioned thinking. 94 00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:42,128 Sex isn't about rules, it's about chemistry. 95 00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:44,372 Hmm. I do like chemistry. 96 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,132 All those beakers and flasks. 97 00:03:46,285 --> 00:03:48,969 The Bunsen burner, the eyeball rinse. 98 00:03:49,805 --> 00:03:51,805 Okay. Look, Kat, I'm just saying that 99 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,716 if things are going well, just don't rule it out. 100 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,735 'Cause I guarantee you, 29-year-old Oscar 101 00:03:56,928 --> 00:03:58,720 will definitely be thinking about it. 102 00:03:58,739 --> 00:03:59,905 I'm with Randi on this. 103 00:04:00,098 --> 00:04:01,631 You got to go for what you want. 104 00:04:01,733 --> 00:04:04,409 After all, you could walk outside tomorrow 105 00:04:04,602 --> 00:04:06,578 and get hit by a meteor. 106 00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:08,956 Maybe that's what happened to the awning. 107 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,085 Hey, hey. Just here for my lunch. 108 00:04:13,236 --> 00:04:14,828 Yeah, it'll be right out. 109 00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:16,646 Oh, I forgot to ask you, would you like sliced onions, 110 00:04:16,665 --> 00:04:19,149 diced onions, or caramelized onions with that veggie burger? 111 00:04:19,251 --> 00:04:20,592 Uh, no onions, thank you. 112 00:04:20,785 --> 00:04:22,836 Yeah, that's not an option. 113 00:04:22,988 --> 00:04:24,596 I got a new produce vendor and those geniuses sent me 114 00:04:24,748 --> 00:04:27,266 a pallet of onions when I was only supposed to get a box. 115 00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:30,435 So you've found yourself in a bit of an onion pickle? 116 00:04:30,628 --> 00:04:32,920 -Or maybe an onion jam? -(laughs) 117 00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:35,590 Am I laughing? I'm not laughing. 118 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:36,833 They're not charging me for them, 119 00:04:36,852 --> 00:04:38,092 but they're not taking them back. 120 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,945 Well, I'll take a box off your hands. 121 00:04:40,096 --> 00:04:42,355 I'll make my Grandma Silver's famous onion relish. 122 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:43,782 Oh, I have a recipe for onion relish, too. 123 00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:45,525 It's been in our family for generations. 124 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,268 Much like dry elbows. 125 00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:49,955 Uh, might I suggest we jar relish together? 126 00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:52,198 I would relish that idea. How 'bout tonight? 127 00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:55,018 Uh, I can't tonight. I have a-a thing tonight. 128 00:04:55,037 --> 00:04:56,036 A date. 129 00:04:56,188 --> 00:04:58,613 Oh. Oh, yeah? With who? 130 00:04:58,674 --> 00:05:01,133 Um, that guy Oscar. From the pancake place. 131 00:05:01,326 --> 00:05:03,451 Remember that night we both met people? 132 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,862 So, uh, what's going on with you and Birdie, by the way? 133 00:05:05,922 --> 00:05:08,122 Oh, nothing. That was just pancakes. 134 00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:11,343 Yeah. With a lot of syrup. 135 00:05:11,537 --> 00:05:12,936 My bad. 136 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,221 So, I'll, uh, text you 137 00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:17,057 about doing the relish thing. If that's okay? 138 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,133 Of course it's okay. Why wouldn't it be okay? 139 00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:20,635 Are we okay? 140 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,321 -Uh, yeah, of course we're okay. -Okay. 141 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,655 I'll look forward to the text. 142 00:05:23,807 --> 00:05:25,382 Oh! And here is my takeout, 143 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,885 which I am going to take out, as the name implies. 144 00:05:28,987 --> 00:05:30,053 Have fun. 145 00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:31,237 I mean, on your date. 146 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,056 Not just eating your lunch. 147 00:05:33,075 --> 00:05:34,499 Yeah, that's what I assumed you meant. 148 00:05:34,692 --> 00:05:35,667 You too, have fun. 149 00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:37,727 I will do my best. 150 00:05:37,788 --> 00:05:38,986 Dude, you're acting weird. 151 00:05:39,048 --> 00:05:41,506 -No, I'm not. -Yeah you are. 152 00:05:41,699 --> 00:05:44,125 You're smile-talking. My son used to do that 153 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:45,902 when I'd asked him if he used the potty. 154 00:05:45,962 --> 00:05:48,680 Nine times out of ten, I'd find a turd on the floor. 155 00:05:48,832 --> 00:05:51,833 And I think it's because you got a little rejected there. 156 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,853 And I don't think that tall handsome guy is used to that. 157 00:05:55,046 --> 00:05:57,097 (scoffs) What are you talking about? 158 00:05:57,249 --> 00:05:59,524 You wanted to make relish. She wasn't available. 159 00:05:59,717 --> 00:06:01,751 Seems like the tables have turned. 160 00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:03,862 Don't you have something to do in the back? 161 00:06:04,055 --> 00:06:05,847 And I would also like to point out that "making relish" 162 00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:07,941 sounds like a euphemism for sex. 163 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,427 I've got a keen ear for such things. 164 00:06:10,445 --> 00:06:12,429 ♪ ♪ 165 00:06:12,489 --> 00:06:15,932 ♪ It ain't my fault that I'm out here getting loose ♪ 166 00:06:15,992 --> 00:06:18,268 ♪ Gotta blame it on the Goose ♪ 167 00:06:18,286 --> 00:06:20,453 ♪ Gotta blame it on my juice, baby ♪ 168 00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,882 -♪ It ain't my fault that I'm out here making news ♪ -Hey! 169 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,200 ♪ I'm the pudding in the proof ♪ 170 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,595 ♪ Gotta blame it on my juice... ♪ 171 00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:33,332 (song stops) 172 00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:36,043 Seems like you're ready for your big date. 173 00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:38,121 I just came up for an outfit check. 174 00:06:38,140 --> 00:06:39,806 Oh, you don't have to tell me I look good, because I know 175 00:06:39,958 --> 00:06:41,900 I look good. Do you know how I know? Because I feel good. 176 00:06:42,051 --> 00:06:45,219 I feel like Lizzo, Gloria Steinem and Marie Curie 177 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,721 all rolled into one. 178 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,131 Well, I think those women would have 179 00:06:48,191 --> 00:06:50,892 taken off their mustache tape by now. 180 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,577 Oh, my gosh. I forgot I still had it on. 181 00:06:52,729 --> 00:06:55,989 I used to help my mama with hers at the end of every winter. 182 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,158 It's only supposed to be on a few seconds. 183 00:06:58,310 --> 00:06:59,918 I just told you I forgot I had it on. 184 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,402 Well, how long has it been? 185 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,070 I don't know. 186 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,072 I listened to that Lizzo song, like, six times. 187 00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,650 Six times! 188 00:07:06,668 --> 00:07:08,743 -I know what to do. -Ow. No. 189 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,003 You can't pull it off fast. 190 00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:11,488 Promise me you won't pull it fast. 191 00:07:11,506 --> 00:07:13,080 I won't pull it fast. 192 00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:15,158 Is this gonna be one of those things where you say 193 00:07:15,177 --> 00:07:16,584 you won't pull it off fast, but then you pull it off fast? 194 00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:19,663 No, I promise. I won't pull it fast. 195 00:07:19,723 --> 00:07:21,331 Good, because I don't know where my skin ends 196 00:07:21,391 --> 00:07:23,650 and this thing begins. 197 00:07:24,561 --> 00:07:26,945 Oh! Oh, Phil! Oh... 198 00:07:27,096 --> 00:07:29,522 We both knew how this was gonna go down. 199 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,241 We both knew. 200 00:07:43,622 --> 00:07:44,537 Everything okay? 201 00:07:44,690 --> 00:07:46,280 Uh-huh. 202 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,191 That's just how I eat soup. 203 00:07:49,194 --> 00:07:52,862 No, actually, I... I need to tell you something. 204 00:07:52,881 --> 00:07:54,306 -Is it about your upper lip? -It's about my upper lip. 205 00:07:54,499 --> 00:07:56,700 Yeah. Um... 206 00:07:56,760 --> 00:08:00,053 I'm a mentor to a group of wayward girls. 207 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,372 And I was teaching them how to toast marshmallows, 208 00:08:02,432 --> 00:08:03,982 and they were like, "Marshmallow fight!" 209 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,300 And I was like, "No, that's dangerous." 210 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,062 But they didn't listen, and an on-fire marshmallow... 211 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,564 (pops lips) ...stuck to my face. 212 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,233 Sorry about that. 213 00:08:13,385 --> 00:08:14,976 It actually looks like when my sisters would 214 00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:18,312 wax their mustaches and leave the wax on too long. 215 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,725 Or... that's exactly what happened. 216 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,911 And when I said that they would wax their mustaches, 217 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,988 what I mean is that I would wax their mustaches 218 00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:28,915 because they were too afraid to pull it off themselves. 219 00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:30,750 (laughs) But you can't pull it off yourself. 220 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,068 Like, your hand won't let you. 221 00:08:32,128 --> 00:08:34,161 Yeah, that's what they said. 222 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,015 That's really sweet that you would do that for your sisters. 223 00:08:37,208 --> 00:08:39,092 I'm actually an only child, which I always hated, 224 00:08:39,244 --> 00:08:41,870 'cause there was no one to go first or learn anything from. 225 00:08:41,872 --> 00:08:42,854 You also didn't have anyone constantly 226 00:08:43,006 --> 00:08:44,505 getting in your business. 227 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:48,009 My sisters keep texting me asking how this is going. 228 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,603 (chuckles) Good question. 229 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,423 So, how is it going? 230 00:08:53,525 --> 00:08:55,275 I think it's going great. 231 00:08:55,427 --> 00:08:57,852 By the way, I've never had a woman ask me out before. 232 00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:00,187 Couple of dudes, but never a woman. 233 00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:03,600 Well, I want to hear those stories, so hold that thought. 234 00:09:03,618 --> 00:09:07,120 Because right now, this woman is going to the woman's room. 235 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,288 (chuckles) 236 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,790 Oh! Oh! Sorry. 237 00:09:10,942 --> 00:09:12,551 -Sorry. Sorry about that. -Oh, here... 238 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:16,429 -Thank you. Thank you. -Sorry. 239 00:09:19,301 --> 00:09:21,467 This reminds me of when we met and you punched me. 240 00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:23,103 Yeah. (chuckles) 241 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,214 Okay on your lip? 242 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:29,050 Um... 243 00:09:29,111 --> 00:09:30,718 you'll have to do it again to see. 244 00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,462 Like, right now. 245 00:09:32,522 --> 00:09:33,863 Like, do it. 246 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,821 From here on out, you can address me as Queen Randi, 247 00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:44,324 Ruler of Dope Gifts 248 00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,084 for Dope Boyfriends. 249 00:09:46,277 --> 00:09:47,827 Good evening, Your Majesty. 250 00:09:47,979 --> 00:09:49,662 We are not worthy. 251 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:53,091 (laughs) I paid my brother to stand in line for four hours 252 00:09:53,284 --> 00:09:54,651 for these new release sneakers. 253 00:09:54,753 --> 00:09:56,502 And not that gift-giving is a competition, 254 00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,488 but I just won. 255 00:09:58,590 --> 00:10:01,582 Ooh! Well, those are fly. Can I be your boyfriend next? 256 00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,009 Uh, no. 257 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,995 Damn. These are my size. And my style. 258 00:10:06,056 --> 00:10:08,164 Hey, don't drool on Daniel's shoes. 259 00:10:08,183 --> 00:10:10,850 You cannot give those shoes to your man. 260 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,518 Randi, have you not heard the saying, 261 00:10:12,671 --> 00:10:14,520 "If you give your lover shoes, 262 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,430 they'll use them to walk away"? 263 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,950 I have not heard that saying. But I have heard the saying, 264 00:10:19,102 --> 00:10:20,452 "Step on a crack, break your mama's back." 265 00:10:20,603 --> 00:10:22,846 So does that mean you don't step on cracks? 266 00:10:22,864 --> 00:10:24,271 Funny thing about that, I actually 267 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,366 -went to school with a guy... -No, uh-uh. 268 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,776 Well, I've never heard the shoe thing, but now that I think 269 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,444 about it, the last gift that I gave Stephanie before 270 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:33,523 she asked for a separation was a pair of espadrilles. 271 00:10:33,541 --> 00:10:36,025 Well the receipt says "non-refundable" 272 00:10:36,086 --> 00:10:37,618 and "superstitions aren't real," 273 00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:40,305 so my boo is gonna be kickin' it in his new kicks. 274 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,974 ♪ And he will walk 500 miles ♪ 275 00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:46,645 ♪ Just to get away from your front door. ♪ 276 00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:48,037 Give me those. 277 00:10:48,098 --> 00:10:49,630 I don't really believe that, I just 278 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,040 thought of the song and wanted to sing it. 279 00:10:51,059 --> 00:10:52,709 Mm-hmm. 280 00:10:52,811 --> 00:10:55,487 -(vocalizing "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)") -Oh! 281 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,948 (vocalizing continues) 282 00:11:08,785 --> 00:11:10,393 So... 283 00:11:10,412 --> 00:11:12,653 did we kiss while merging onto the freeway? 284 00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:13,913 We did. 285 00:11:14,065 --> 00:11:15,006 -Was that safe? -I don't know. 286 00:11:15,199 --> 00:11:16,733 I had my eyes closed. 287 00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:18,176 (laughs) 288 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,680 Um, so... 289 00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:25,700 I just want you to know that, um... 290 00:11:25,702 --> 00:11:27,093 I'm feeling really good. 291 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,002 Me, too. 292 00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,670 Like we have chemistry. 293 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:30,930 Same. 294 00:11:31,082 --> 00:11:32,415 So... 295 00:11:32,475 --> 00:11:35,026 I'm totally on board for first-date sex. 296 00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:37,862 (voice squeaks): Uh... okay. 297 00:11:38,014 --> 00:11:39,513 I-I mean, like, if you are. 298 00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:42,183 I just thought, like, guys think about sex all the time. 299 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,184 No. 300 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,761 We think about other stuff, too. 301 00:11:44,821 --> 00:11:46,830 But now I'm just thinking about sex. 302 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,449 Great. Let me, uh... 303 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,292 show you to the bedroom. 304 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:59,092 Hey, beautiful. What took you so long? 305 00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:03,555 You know, actually, I... I might like to walk off dinner. 306 00:12:03,706 --> 00:12:05,798 I like to do a full circle around the living room 307 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,392 before entering the bedroom. 308 00:12:07,543 --> 00:12:09,043 You know, get the, uh, get the old blood pumping 309 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,729 before we get the blood pumping. 310 00:12:10,922 --> 00:12:13,214 Are you having second thoughts? Because we can totally wait. 311 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:15,233 (chuckles): No. I'm fine, I'm fine. 312 00:12:15,384 --> 00:12:16,568 Just give me a minute. 313 00:12:16,719 --> 00:12:19,220 I'm gonna freshen up, as ladies do. 314 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,055 No problem. I'll, uh, be out here, 315 00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:24,242 looking at my phone, as... men do. 316 00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:28,304 You saw Max in my bedroom as well, right? 317 00:12:28,364 --> 00:12:29,956 Okay. 318 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,329 Okay, you need to get it together, lady. 319 00:12:36,481 --> 00:12:38,072 You are way into Oscar, 320 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,574 so it makes no sense that you should be thinking about Max 321 00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,485 at a time like this. 322 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,670 SHEILA: ♪ If you give the man your milk ♪ 323 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:47,840 ♪ He won't want to buy the cow. ♪ 324 00:12:47,993 --> 00:12:49,250 Mother, get out of here. 325 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,327 There is no point in these crazy thoughts. 326 00:12:51,387 --> 00:12:53,329 Max's heart will forever belong to me. 327 00:12:53,389 --> 00:12:56,090 Go play with your cute Oscar boy. 328 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,517 Who are you? 329 00:12:57,669 --> 00:12:58,851 Oh, this is Max's ex-girlfriend Brigitte, 330 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,169 who lives in my mind. 331 00:13:00,188 --> 00:13:01,446 She makes me nuts, 332 00:13:01,597 --> 00:13:02,688 but I'm also trying to learn from her. 333 00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:03,948 I'm with you, Kat. 334 00:13:04,141 --> 00:13:05,599 I would hold out indefinitely for me. 335 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,101 You know, just in case. 336 00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:09,529 'Cause... it's me. 337 00:13:09,681 --> 00:13:10,696 (knocking) 338 00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,198 OSCAR: Everything okay in there? 339 00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:13,774 Uh, yeah. Be right out. 340 00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:15,201 Not doing anything weird in here. 341 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,944 Just, uh, brushing my teeth. 342 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,838 Then you're gonna need this. 343 00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,858 Carter, why are you here? 344 00:13:21,876 --> 00:13:23,543 To point out that you do make a lot of excuses to come over 345 00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:25,953 to the bar in the middle of the day to hang out with Max. 346 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,621 Good point. 347 00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:29,382 No, I don't. 348 00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:33,102 Oh. So it's to hang out with me, then? 349 00:13:36,099 --> 00:13:37,315 (exhales) 350 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,134 You are an optimistic human woman 351 00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:42,654 who has the opportunity to have some intimate fun 352 00:13:42,847 --> 00:13:44,772 with your cute Oscar boy. 353 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:46,883 Don't mess this up. 354 00:13:46,985 --> 00:13:48,451 (exhales) 355 00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,573 I'm ready. (chuckles) 356 00:13:53,725 --> 00:13:55,575 (sighs, chuckles) 357 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,627 Let's do this, Max. 358 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,487 Who's Max? 359 00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:01,914 I'm sorry, what? 360 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:04,584 ♪ ♪ 361 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:08,429 It's the jalapeño that gives it the unexpected kick. 362 00:14:09,465 --> 00:14:10,664 Cool. 363 00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:11,850 Are you okay? 364 00:14:12,043 --> 00:14:13,500 Uh-huh. 365 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:15,520 How was the date? 366 00:14:15,713 --> 00:14:17,021 Uh... 367 00:14:17,214 --> 00:14:18,839 Something happen? 368 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,507 Kind of. 369 00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:22,527 Something good? 370 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,087 Not really. 371 00:14:25,023 --> 00:14:28,274 You know, actually, you might have a take on this. 372 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,942 Maybe. Lay it on me. 373 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,444 Well, uh... 374 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,855 Oscar and I were having a lovely dinner, and... 375 00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:37,542 then we came back here, things were getting kind of steamy, 376 00:14:37,735 --> 00:14:39,711 and I went to say his name and... 377 00:14:39,904 --> 00:14:42,288 accidentally called him something else. 378 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,716 Something offensive? 379 00:14:44,909 --> 00:14:46,050 No. Just... 380 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,552 another name. 381 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,869 A guy's name. 382 00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,388 That was not his. 383 00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:52,056 Oh, boy. Yeah, I could see how that 384 00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:53,540 would throw a little water on the campfire. 385 00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:56,043 (chuckles) Could've used a little water. 386 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:59,230 Could see the smoke coming off his shoes as he ran out of here. 387 00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:03,550 So... whose name was it? 388 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,962 I'm not telling you. That's not important. 389 00:15:06,022 --> 00:15:07,721 That part doesn't matter. 390 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:09,223 Was it mine? 391 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,633 What?! 392 00:15:10,693 --> 00:15:12,226 Well, otherwise you would've just told me. 393 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,302 No! Gosh. 394 00:15:13,363 --> 00:15:15,413 You can be such a narcissist. 395 00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:18,065 (chuckles) It was yours. 396 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,084 Okay. 397 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,494 I mean, I'm sure you're freaked out. 398 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,087 If you want to leave, that's fine. 399 00:15:23,239 --> 00:15:24,422 You know, men seem to love 400 00:15:24,573 --> 00:15:26,073 just running out of my apartment lately. 401 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,426 I'm not freaked out. I mean, I'm also not comfortable 402 00:15:28,619 --> 00:15:31,370 with the way you're waving that knife around. 403 00:15:32,415 --> 00:15:33,990 Kat, I'm sorry that that happened. 404 00:15:34,092 --> 00:15:35,433 But I'm glad that you told me. 405 00:15:35,584 --> 00:15:37,493 I mean, it actually kind of makes sense 406 00:15:37,553 --> 00:15:39,328 that you would say my name at a time like that. 407 00:15:39,389 --> 00:15:41,105 -Really? -Yeah. 408 00:15:41,298 --> 00:15:43,499 Look, you're with this new guy who you liked, 409 00:15:43,601 --> 00:15:45,518 but maybe, on a deeper level, 410 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,262 you want to be with somebody who you know really well, 411 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,073 somebody you trust. 412 00:15:51,642 --> 00:15:53,600 Like me. 413 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,978 You're so right. 414 00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:58,605 It had nothing to do with you. 415 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:01,701 It had to do with how well I know you. 416 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,444 I am not a sex-on-the-first-date kind of person. 417 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,204 I need to take a step back with Oscar 418 00:16:05,356 --> 00:16:06,522 and just get to know him better. 419 00:16:06,624 --> 00:16:08,874 I'm gonna go call him right now. 420 00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,284 -Max? -Yeah? 421 00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:11,452 Thank you so much. 422 00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:13,529 It's just, it's really nice 423 00:16:13,548 --> 00:16:15,531 to be able to share this stuff with you. 424 00:16:15,591 --> 00:16:18,810 I'll tell you exactly what he said after we talk. 425 00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:21,854 Glad I could help. 426 00:16:26,343 --> 00:16:28,444 ♪ 427 00:16:30,347 --> 00:16:32,381 -What's wrong with her? -I don't know. 428 00:16:32,483 --> 00:16:34,325 She's been like that for two minutes. 429 00:16:34,518 --> 00:16:37,053 I was about to start dusting her. 430 00:16:37,071 --> 00:16:38,738 Randi, are you okay? 431 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,056 Uh... 432 00:16:40,158 --> 00:16:41,574 I just don't know what to do. 433 00:16:41,726 --> 00:16:43,334 I was on my way to give Daniel his gift, 434 00:16:43,527 --> 00:16:45,169 but now I have it stuck in my head 435 00:16:45,321 --> 00:16:46,896 that if I give him shoes, that's bad luck. 436 00:16:46,956 --> 00:16:49,248 Oh, yeah, you can't give him shoes-- he'll walk away. 437 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,509 It's just a silly superstition. 438 00:16:51,702 --> 00:16:54,053 Or, as I call it, a "shoe-perstition." 439 00:16:55,372 --> 00:16:56,255 Okay, was going for a smile there. 440 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:57,907 It didn't work. 441 00:16:57,925 --> 00:16:59,517 Well, I don't believe in shoe-perstitions, 442 00:16:59,710 --> 00:17:02,186 or superstitions, but Daniel and I 443 00:17:02,338 --> 00:17:03,913 are about to move in together. 444 00:17:03,931 --> 00:17:06,190 So what if I move in with him, and then all of a sudden 445 00:17:06,342 --> 00:17:07,674 we start fighting all the time? 446 00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,435 And then I start going through his phone, 447 00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:10,862 finding all these texts from this woman that he works with, 448 00:17:11,013 --> 00:17:12,588 but they don't sound like work texts. 449 00:17:12,690 --> 00:17:15,091 And then all of a sudden I'm sitting around going, 450 00:17:15,109 --> 00:17:17,518 "I shouldn't have given him them damn shoes." 451 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,111 Then do not give him those shoes. 452 00:17:19,264 --> 00:17:22,189 In fact, burn them and throw the ashes in the river 453 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:25,618 and wash that bad juju out of your life. 454 00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:27,620 Okay, Phil. 455 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,789 Yeah, let's just take shoes out of the equation. 456 00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,457 We'll find another present. 457 00:17:31,609 --> 00:17:32,792 Uh, hey. 458 00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:35,053 Buttons' skin condition just cleared up. 459 00:17:35,246 --> 00:17:36,888 He's ready for adoption. 460 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,872 Come on, cats fix everything. 461 00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,800 (high-pitched): Happy six-month anniversary, Daniel! 462 00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:43,710 (chuckles) Look, I'm already wrapped-- in fur! 463 00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:46,789 -Oh, honey, she is not amused. -No. 464 00:17:46,808 --> 00:17:48,608 ♪ ♪ 465 00:17:49,927 --> 00:17:51,794 (imitates cheering crowd, laughs) 466 00:17:51,854 --> 00:17:54,146 Hey, uh, thanks for being so understanding 467 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,722 about the Max thing. 468 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:56,908 We're just, we're really good friends. 469 00:17:57,059 --> 00:17:58,634 You'd probably actually get along well. 470 00:17:58,736 --> 00:18:00,820 I'm sure we would... Donna. 471 00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,154 Oh. Ha-ha! 472 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,082 I see what you did there, Oscar. 473 00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,566 Wait. I don't know your middle name. 474 00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:06,992 Do you have a middle name? 475 00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,160 Bruno. 476 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,162 Oscar Bruno Martinez. 477 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,406 Katherine Edith Silver. 478 00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,333 See, that's what I wanted. 479 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,335 Just, like, a... like, a sex-free chance... 480 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,170 to get to know each other better. 481 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,932 That sounds like a good plan, because I really like you. 482 00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,434 Oh. Not sure how much you're gonna like me 483 00:18:23,586 --> 00:18:25,586 when I wipe the floor with you. 484 00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:28,589 Not gonna lie, it's hot when you talk trash. 485 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,349 Oh, really? Would it be hot if I said 486 00:18:30,501 --> 00:18:32,668 you should stay off the court and stick to dancing around 487 00:18:32,728 --> 00:18:34,837 in your little mascot costume? 488 00:18:34,897 --> 00:18:36,689 That is, like, really, really sexy. 489 00:18:36,841 --> 00:18:38,116 It's a little hurtful, but it's sexy. 490 00:18:38,267 --> 00:18:39,933 (laughs) 491 00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,494 Is it gonna be sexy if I try and steal the ball from you? 492 00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,775 Wait, is kissing allowed while we're getting 493 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,586 -to know each other? -(laughs) Absolutely. 494 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,779 Oh. 495 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,358 Oh, I see. You're deceptive and sneaky. 496 00:18:55,418 --> 00:18:57,260 I'm learning new things about you. 497 00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:00,513 (whoops) 498 00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:11,816 Happy six month anniversary. 499 00:19:12,009 --> 00:19:13,133 This... 500 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:14,426 is for you. 501 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,529 Ooh. (chuckles) 502 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,881 Onions. 503 00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,399 Kind of weird. 504 00:19:20,551 --> 00:19:21,993 Kind of like something you get somebody as a gift 505 00:19:22,186 --> 00:19:23,736 during the Great Depression. 506 00:19:23,846 --> 00:19:25,571 Well, it's symbolic for relationships. 507 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,981 You keep peeling back the layers to get what you need, 508 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,226 and they get sweeter when you heat them up. 509 00:19:30,286 --> 00:19:32,486 And I also brought some eggs, 510 00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:34,413 cream and mushrooms, because I'm gonna make you 511 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,749 a mean onion frittata tomorrow morning. 512 00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:40,569 Because after tonight, you're gonna be hungry. 513 00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:42,588 I was skeptical at first, but I'm coming around 514 00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,407 -to this onion gift. -(laughs) 515 00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:46,684 -I got you a little something, too. -Oh. 516 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,021 Sneakers? 517 00:19:50,214 --> 00:19:52,598 My mom used to say, "Give your lover shoes, 518 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,767 they'll forever walk by your side." 519 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,511 It's kind of hard to hear your mama use the word "lover," 520 00:19:57,572 --> 00:20:00,031 But I always liked the sentiment. 521 00:20:00,182 --> 00:20:03,092 Me, too. I can't wait to share it with my friends. 522 00:20:03,152 --> 00:20:05,453 -(chuckles) -Thank you. 523 00:20:07,064 --> 00:20:09,540 You know what? I am gonna send them a picture 524 00:20:09,733 --> 00:20:12,785 of these right now. (laughs) 525 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:16,439 ♪ But I would walk 500 miles ♪ 526 00:20:16,457 --> 00:20:19,533 ♪ And I would walk 500 more ♪ 527 00:20:19,594 --> 00:20:21,034 ♪ Just to be the man ♪ 528 00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:23,796 ♪ Who walked a thousand miles ♪ 529 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,131 ♪ To fall down at your door... ♪ 530 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,617 Here are your chicken wings. 531 00:20:28,636 --> 00:20:30,302 They look like onion rings. 532 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,939 Fried food is fried food. 533 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,808 He's right. 534 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,527 We'll just dip them in something. 535 00:20:40,022 --> 00:20:43,315 ♪ But I would walk 500 miles ♪ 536 00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:46,969 ♪ And I would walk 500 more ♪ 537 00:20:47,029 --> 00:20:50,915 ♪ Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles ♪ 538 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,233 Now, don't be jealous. They're just friends. 539 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,494 The only thing I'm jealous of is his shoes. 540 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,313 DANIEL: I know. 541 00:20:57,331 --> 00:20:59,239 Those are dope. I've been trying to get a pair, 542 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,741 but I can't find them anywhere. 543 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:04,169 Well, I guess you just weren't meant to have them. 544 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:06,430 (Kat and Max vocalizing) 545 00:21:06,623 --> 00:21:07,431 ♪ Yeah ♪ 546 00:21:07,624 --> 00:21:09,475 (vocalizing) 547 00:21:14,557 --> 00:21:15,606 ♪ But I would walk ♪ 548 00:21:15,799 --> 00:21:18,350 ♪ 500 miles ♪ 549 00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:21,112 ♪ And I would walk 500 more ♪ 550 00:21:21,263 --> 00:21:23,839 ♪ Just to be the man who walked ♪ 551 00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,766 ♪ A thousand miles ♪ 552 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,285 ♪ To fall down ♪ 553 00:21:27,436 --> 00:21:29,603 (tempo slowing): ♪ At your door... ♪ 554 00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:32,439 Captioning sponsored by WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 555 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:35,960 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org