1 00:00:02,745 --> 00:00:03,894 Hi. 2 00:00:03,987 --> 00:00:05,746 I've really enjoyed our intimate talks. 3 00:00:05,898 --> 00:00:08,841 So I thought you wouldn't mind joining me here. 4 00:00:09,068 --> 00:00:11,176 That's Dr. Marshall. 5 00:00:11,328 --> 00:00:12,736 She's my new gyno. 6 00:00:12,905 --> 00:00:14,346 But I like to call her my "gy-yes." 7 00:00:14,498 --> 00:00:16,831 Because she is so positive. 8 00:00:16,851 --> 00:00:17,908 So, how are you? 9 00:00:18,001 --> 00:00:20,093 Physically? Well, I could tell you, 10 00:00:20,262 --> 00:00:21,669 but you went to school for this. 11 00:00:21,764 --> 00:00:23,838 No, I mean how are you generally? 12 00:00:23,932 --> 00:00:25,524 I just like to get to know my patients 13 00:00:25,751 --> 00:00:27,359 before I glove up and clock in. 14 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,770 (chuckles) Oh, uh, well, in that case, 15 00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:32,531 I'm pretty good-- I own the cat café in the Highlands. 16 00:00:32,758 --> 00:00:34,533 Uh, I said goodbye to Mr. Mousekers this morning, 17 00:00:34,684 --> 00:00:36,702 and I swear he responded with a meow that sounded like, 18 00:00:36,853 --> 00:00:38,871 (high-pitched voice): "I love you." 19 00:00:39,098 --> 00:00:41,098 Uh, and you're 39? 20 00:00:41,191 --> 00:00:42,708 Well, I've started telling people I'm 42, 21 00:00:42,859 --> 00:00:44,376 so they'll tell me how good I look. 22 00:00:44,528 --> 00:00:46,027 You look good for 39. 23 00:00:46,121 --> 00:00:47,880 -Well, thank you. -Single? 24 00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:49,364 Let's see how this goes. 25 00:00:49,458 --> 00:00:51,533 -And kids? -Not yet. 26 00:00:51,627 --> 00:00:52,943 Oh, have you frozen your eggs? 27 00:00:53,036 --> 00:00:53,886 Uh, no. 28 00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,112 Want to? 29 00:00:55,130 --> 00:00:56,722 Uh... 30 00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:58,724 well... 31 00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,951 I'm only asking because as we age, 32 00:01:01,044 --> 00:01:02,728 our egg reserve decreases 33 00:01:02,955 --> 00:01:04,288 and then there's perimenopause right around the corner 34 00:01:04,381 --> 00:01:05,472 in your 40s. 35 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,791 I'm getting a little dry in the mouth. 36 00:01:07,810 --> 00:01:09,476 I know it's a lot, but if you're thinking 37 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,128 you might want to have kids at some point, 38 00:01:11,297 --> 00:01:12,905 freezing your eggs is something you'll want to do now. 39 00:01:13,132 --> 00:01:14,448 Now? 40 00:01:15,301 --> 00:01:16,983 Like now now? 41 00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:18,969 Now? 42 00:01:19,062 --> 00:01:21,205 ♪ ♪ 43 00:01:24,993 --> 00:01:26,977 (indistinct chatter) 44 00:01:27,830 --> 00:01:29,646 Wow, so you're gonna freeze your eggs? 45 00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:30,664 Maybe. 46 00:01:30,816 --> 00:01:32,073 Dr. Marshall ran some tests 47 00:01:32,167 --> 00:01:34,501 to see if I even have any eggs to freeze at my age. 48 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,154 Uh, I'd be optimistic. 49 00:01:37,323 --> 00:01:38,672 You're pretty immature. 50 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,582 Well, sure, on the outside. 51 00:01:40,676 --> 00:01:42,467 You know, but on the inside, maybe I'm like that, 52 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,252 that one banana that's so far gone, 53 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,604 you can't even use it in banana bread. 54 00:01:45,831 --> 00:01:47,497 Yeah, that's why you're supposed to freeze 55 00:01:47,516 --> 00:01:49,257 your bananas before they go that bad. 56 00:01:49,426 --> 00:01:50,943 Do you want kids? 57 00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:53,112 Well, I hated being an only child. 58 00:01:53,339 --> 00:01:55,930 And I always imagined I'd have a bunch of kids one day. 59 00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:57,599 You know, they-they'd all be musical 60 00:01:57,693 --> 00:01:59,451 and-and start a band. 61 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,786 And I'd be, like, the mom-ager, 62 00:02:01,013 --> 00:02:02,437 who made sure they weren't oversexualized 63 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,105 at too young an age. 64 00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:05,773 I had a fantasy as a kid, too. 65 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,017 I killed all my brothers and sisters 66 00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:08,368 so I could have my own room. 67 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,020 (laughs) Well, when my friends started having 68 00:02:10,113 --> 00:02:11,855 their first babies, I was in grad school. 69 00:02:11,948 --> 00:02:13,874 And when they had their second babies, 70 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,450 I was trying to get tenure. 71 00:02:15,544 --> 00:02:16,526 And then when their babies started having babies, 72 00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:17,878 I was giving birth to this café. 73 00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:20,472 And your post-café bod looks great, by the way. 74 00:02:20,699 --> 00:02:22,957 Thank you, you're pretty smoking yourself. 75 00:02:23,126 --> 00:02:24,217 So I've been told. 76 00:02:24,370 --> 00:02:25,886 Kat? 77 00:02:26,038 --> 00:02:28,372 I overheard your conversation and I just want you to know 78 00:02:28,465 --> 00:02:30,056 that if you need any help, 79 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,875 I'll do it. 80 00:02:32,044 --> 00:02:34,302 Do what, Wyatt? 81 00:02:34,396 --> 00:02:36,697 Sire your children. 82 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,217 Yeah, no-no siring needed here. 83 00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:41,218 Thanks so much. 84 00:02:41,311 --> 00:02:42,644 Okay, but I think I've got 85 00:02:42,738 --> 00:02:44,329 what you're looking for. 86 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,665 Virility, masculinity 87 00:02:46,892 --> 00:02:48,834 and a strong hairline that's been 88 00:02:49,061 --> 00:02:50,961 passed down for generations. 89 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,414 I'll give it some thought. 90 00:02:54,583 --> 00:02:56,400 And just so you know, I'm cool 91 00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:58,802 with however you want to be inseminated. 92 00:03:00,406 --> 00:03:01,663 All right, little man, 93 00:03:01,757 --> 00:03:03,423 you download the app I told you about? 94 00:03:03,592 --> 00:03:05,017 I did, but I'm so anxious, I'm sweating 95 00:03:05,168 --> 00:03:07,427 through my Dolly Parton long johns. 96 00:03:07,596 --> 00:03:09,170 Oh, is it that neighborhood app? 97 00:03:09,264 --> 00:03:11,005 Oh, that stresses me out, too. 98 00:03:11,099 --> 00:03:14,359 Is it a million raccoons or are we all seeing the same raccoon? 99 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,529 No, I'm helping Phil put all his bills on autopay. 100 00:03:17,681 --> 00:03:20,240 This bitch is going digital! 101 00:03:21,443 --> 00:03:23,035 All right, Phil, 102 00:03:23,186 --> 00:03:25,429 you press here, you'll see all your charges from last month. 103 00:03:25,522 --> 00:03:28,540 Damn, Phil, $3,500 on hearing aids?! 104 00:03:28,767 --> 00:03:30,267 Can't you just be, like, old-fashioned 105 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,859 and hold up a funnel to your ear? 106 00:03:31,954 --> 00:03:34,104 Well, I didn't buy 'em for me. I bought 'em for Henry. 107 00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:35,622 Who's Henry? 108 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:38,124 He's a gentleman I met on Silver Shepherds. 109 00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:42,112 It's a dating app for gay Christian seniors. 110 00:03:42,205 --> 00:03:43,871 Aw, good for you, Phil. 111 00:03:43,966 --> 00:03:45,707 It warms my heart to know you're out there 112 00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:47,617 rustling up some hot shepherd tail. 113 00:03:47,636 --> 00:03:50,120 Well, we haven't actually met in person. 114 00:03:50,213 --> 00:03:51,563 We just chat on the phone. 115 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,232 Oh, so just a little phone sex? 116 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,276 You better walk that dirty mind back. 117 00:03:57,220 --> 00:03:58,979 Maybe a little. 118 00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,572 Phil! 119 00:04:00,799 --> 00:04:02,574 You do not give thousands of dollars to a guy 120 00:04:02,801 --> 00:04:04,301 you've only talked to on the phone. 121 00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:05,577 You could be getting catfished. 122 00:04:05,804 --> 00:04:08,080 Well, that can't be bad-- that's my favorite fish. 123 00:04:08,307 --> 00:04:11,232 No, man, "catfished" is when a con artist pretends 124 00:04:11,326 --> 00:04:13,252 to be somebody else to take advantage 125 00:04:13,479 --> 00:04:15,236 of a nice, innocent person like you. 126 00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:16,313 Carter's right. He might've sold 127 00:04:16,482 --> 00:04:17,831 those hearing aids for cash. 128 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,316 Henry wouldn't do that. 129 00:04:19,485 --> 00:04:21,242 See, that's what I'm saying. 130 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:23,095 Henry might not be Henry. 131 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,822 He could be a 25-year-old gamer living in his mama's basement. 132 00:04:25,991 --> 00:04:29,309 Oh, it's a shame to lose your hearing that young. 133 00:04:31,663 --> 00:04:33,438 -Bye. -Bye-bye. Randi? 134 00:04:33,665 --> 00:04:36,591 Randi, Randi, Randi, that woman wants to adopt Nelly. 135 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,944 Really? Nelly's been here since we opened. 136 00:04:39,095 --> 00:04:40,261 I thought she was a lifer. 137 00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:42,114 Oh, not me. I always knew 138 00:04:42,341 --> 00:04:43,840 someone would see how special she is. 139 00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:46,009 I write "Nelly gets adopted" and put it 140 00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:47,769 in my wish jar every night. 141 00:04:47,937 --> 00:04:49,679 Okay, but did you tell them that she's blind 142 00:04:49,773 --> 00:04:51,348 in one eye and she walks into walls? 143 00:04:51,441 --> 00:04:53,625 I did. 144 00:04:54,853 --> 00:04:55,943 Hey, Kat. 145 00:04:56,112 --> 00:04:58,355 -Hey. -Do you want these in the back? 146 00:04:58,448 --> 00:05:00,799 Um, no, Steve, that's okay, you can just leave them right here. 147 00:05:01,026 --> 00:05:02,801 You know, uh, I was just reading on Reddit 148 00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:05,804 how coffee beans can be toxic to cats. 149 00:05:06,031 --> 00:05:09,232 (chuckles) Yes, Steve, I opened a cat café, so I knew that. 150 00:05:09,292 --> 00:05:10,884 Did you also know that I've been wanting 151 00:05:11,036 --> 00:05:12,627 to ask you out on a date for a while? 152 00:05:12,796 --> 00:05:14,054 I mean, that's actually why I have a coffee safe-- 153 00:05:14,206 --> 00:05:16,206 so I can keep the beans away from the cats. 154 00:05:16,299 --> 00:05:18,542 Did you not hear him, Grandma? 155 00:05:18,635 --> 00:05:20,226 He just asked you out. 156 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,395 -What happened now? -Uh... 157 00:05:22,548 --> 00:05:24,972 maybe like dinner this weekend or something? 158 00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:27,826 Did you know that the word dinner comes from the old French 159 00:05:28,053 --> 00:05:30,070 word disner, which actually means breakfast? 160 00:05:30,222 --> 00:05:32,572 -Girl, if you don't just say yes. -Okay, yes. 161 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,666 Yes. Um, this weekend. 162 00:05:34,893 --> 00:05:36,743 -That would be lover-ly. -Great. 163 00:05:36,912 --> 00:05:38,895 Uh, I got your number here, so, uh... 164 00:05:38,988 --> 00:05:40,822 I'll call you. 165 00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:43,008 Well, well, well. 166 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,678 My insemination options are stacking up nicely. 167 00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:48,922 (phone rings) 168 00:05:49,091 --> 00:05:50,682 Unknown caller, ooh. 169 00:05:50,909 --> 00:05:53,852 Hey, Steve, aren't you a little eager beaver with the Kat fever? 170 00:05:54,079 --> 00:05:56,246 -Hey, it's Dr. Marshall. -Oh, sorry. 171 00:05:56,339 --> 00:05:59,006 Uh, yeah, hi, Dr. Marshall, this is she. 172 00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:01,693 It's my doctor with the test results-- Randi, hold me. 173 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,104 (Marshall speaking indistinctly on phone) 174 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,865 Boundaries, Wyatt. 175 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,190 "Somewhat viable." She said I was "somewhat viable." 176 00:06:16,284 --> 00:06:18,268 I was hoping for a "Go for it!" Or "Nope, too late." 177 00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:21,287 Or "Hey, want to grab a glass of white zin and talk about boys?" 178 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,940 But, no, I got "somewhat viable." 179 00:06:24,109 --> 00:06:26,033 I once ate some oysters that were somewhat viable. 180 00:06:26,128 --> 00:06:27,293 I ended up in the ER. 181 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,054 They had to cut my jeans off. 182 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,799 Well, Kat, what does your doctor think you should do? 183 00:06:32,951 --> 00:06:35,060 She said it's my decision and there are no guarantees. 184 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:37,971 So as far as my friendship with her goes, I'm less enamored. 185 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,806 Well, why don't you make a pros and cons list? 186 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,625 That's how I decided whether or not to tell Daniel 187 00:06:41,793 --> 00:06:43,627 I did not care for his night kimono. 188 00:06:43,795 --> 00:06:45,629 I decided not to, and that was a big mistake, 189 00:06:45,722 --> 00:06:47,239 because then he gave me a matching one. 190 00:06:47,466 --> 00:06:48,907 And now we look like back-up singers. 191 00:06:50,469 --> 00:06:52,226 Okay, uh, pros and cons list. 192 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,304 That's a good idea. Uh, okay. 193 00:06:54,473 --> 00:06:57,307 Uh, first of all, I'd have to give myself hormone shots. 194 00:06:57,476 --> 00:06:59,142 (all groan) 195 00:06:59,161 --> 00:07:01,068 Okay, that sounds like a con. 196 00:07:01,163 --> 00:07:02,662 I can help you with the hormone shots. 197 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,497 Ooh, more quality time with Phil. 198 00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:05,590 That's a pro. 199 00:07:05,817 --> 00:07:07,317 I used to give Mama her insulin. 200 00:07:07,486 --> 00:07:09,911 I'd grab her by the neck fat to distract her, 201 00:07:10,005 --> 00:07:12,472 and then shoot her in the belly! 202 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,600 Okay, so maybe a wash on that one. 203 00:07:15,827 --> 00:07:18,270 Look, I can't think of anything 204 00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:19,754 cuter and weirder than having 205 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,331 a tiny, little you running around. 206 00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:23,275 I know. Pro, pro, pro. 207 00:07:23,502 --> 00:07:25,277 But freezing your eggs is expensive. 208 00:07:25,504 --> 00:07:26,945 I know. Con, con, con. 209 00:07:27,172 --> 00:07:30,674 It's, like, $15,000 for one retrieval attempt. 210 00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:33,434 Reminds me of those arcade claw games that I never win. 211 00:07:33,528 --> 00:07:35,345 Like, get the egg, get the egg, get the-- 212 00:07:35,438 --> 00:07:37,347 Aw, you got the fuzzy dice. 213 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,624 If you want a kid that bad, take mine. 214 00:07:39,851 --> 00:07:42,276 CJ's been riding my ass all week about getting a tattoo. 215 00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:44,704 Of what you ask? His video game controller. 216 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,856 You know what that looks like when it's sketched out? 217 00:07:46,950 --> 00:07:49,042 A penis with buttons. 218 00:07:49,194 --> 00:07:51,953 That's funny, I wanted a tattoo of a penis with buttons, 219 00:07:52,121 --> 00:07:55,031 but it looked too much like a video game controller. 220 00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:57,200 (men cheering, clamoring) 221 00:07:57,293 --> 00:07:59,202 Sorry, it's just, this conversation 222 00:07:59,295 --> 00:08:00,704 makes me uncomfortable. 223 00:08:00,797 --> 00:08:02,889 Oh, 'cause you don't like discussing female problems? 224 00:08:03,041 --> 00:08:05,800 No, because I'm your friend and it just seems 225 00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:08,695 like a really tough thing to put your body through. 226 00:08:09,931 --> 00:08:12,549 All right, new strategy. Let's take a vote. 227 00:08:12,642 --> 00:08:15,235 No voting-- it's not our decision to make. 228 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:16,811 Uh, I have a question. 229 00:08:16,905 --> 00:08:19,739 Once they get 'em out of you, where do they put 'em? 230 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,334 In a freezer somewhere, and then every time the power goes out, 231 00:08:22,561 --> 00:08:23,985 I'm gonna be all worried about them. 232 00:08:24,079 --> 00:08:26,838 Like how when it goes out now, I worry about my popsicles. 233 00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:29,549 But these are not popsicles, they're people-sicles. 234 00:08:32,328 --> 00:08:34,587 Hey, Carter, is my phone ready? 235 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,924 Yep, got the rest of your utilities synced up on autopay. 236 00:08:38,093 --> 00:08:40,668 You just keep making that dough by baking that dough, 237 00:08:40,762 --> 00:08:42,521 and you're good to go, bro. 238 00:08:42,748 --> 00:08:44,356 Thanks for looking out for me, Carter. 239 00:08:44,507 --> 00:08:47,692 Although I'm gonna miss Bonnie, my favorite teller at the bank. 240 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,511 She has the most beautiful, long fingernails. 241 00:08:50,605 --> 00:08:52,531 I've seen her scratch off 242 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,850 five lottery tickets at the same time. 243 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,685 Well, speaking of looking out for you, 244 00:08:57,779 --> 00:08:59,612 your boyfriend Henry texted while I had your phone. 245 00:08:59,781 --> 00:09:01,039 Now, don't freak out, but I took 246 00:09:01,266 --> 00:09:03,190 the liberty of texting him back and asking him 247 00:09:03,285 --> 00:09:04,709 to meet you here tonight. 248 00:09:04,861 --> 00:09:06,286 -You did what? -Look, I know, 249 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:08,213 but I can't just let you keep handing out money 250 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:09,956 to a guy you don't know exists. 251 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,700 This way, if a little old guy with a couple of hearing aids 252 00:09:12,794 --> 00:09:15,536 shows up, I'll text you, you come by and say hi. 253 00:09:15,630 --> 00:09:17,463 But I'm not ready to say hi! 254 00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,891 Then I'll say you went to a funeral or something. 255 00:09:20,118 --> 00:09:21,785 But if nobody shows up, 256 00:09:21,803 --> 00:09:24,287 I'm calling the cops, we gonna find that catfish, 257 00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:27,682 get your money back, and throw his ass in jail. 258 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,734 Okay. 259 00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:35,465 BOTH (singsongy): Knock, knock. 260 00:09:35,634 --> 00:09:36,966 You know, people usually knock before they enter. 261 00:09:36,985 --> 00:09:38,635 What if I had a gentleman caller? 262 00:09:38,653 --> 00:09:41,137 We took our chances. 263 00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:42,581 Is there a reason you're here? 264 00:09:42,808 --> 00:09:45,308 Yes, because I can't believe that my Kitty Kats 265 00:09:45,477 --> 00:09:46,585 is gonna have kittens! 266 00:09:46,812 --> 00:09:48,328 Mother, I told you not to say anything. 267 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:49,921 I don't even know what I'm gonna do yet. 268 00:09:50,148 --> 00:09:52,090 I couldn't help it, we were getting a couples massage. 269 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,741 How can I not tell her? 270 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,744 The daughter she always wanted. 271 00:09:56,838 --> 00:09:58,412 I have a present. 272 00:09:58,506 --> 00:09:59,989 My favorite maternity clothes. 273 00:10:00,158 --> 00:10:02,267 I have been saving them for just such an occasion. 274 00:10:02,494 --> 00:10:03,751 All right, slow down, 275 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,328 you're putting the clothes before the horse. 276 00:10:05,421 --> 00:10:06,754 There's a lot of unknowns here. 277 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,865 I don't even know if I want to do it and I don't even 278 00:10:08,925 --> 00:10:11,167 know if it's gonna be successful if I do try and do it. 279 00:10:11,260 --> 00:10:13,111 Don't be such a Gloomy Gus. 280 00:10:13,262 --> 00:10:14,838 I feel it in my gut 281 00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:17,857 that this process is gonna bring me a grandchild. 282 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,434 Yeah, but it's in my gut that it needs to happen. 283 00:10:20,603 --> 00:10:23,012 And it's an awful lot of money for a big gamble. 284 00:10:23,106 --> 00:10:24,623 Oh, don't worry about the money. 285 00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:25,957 I'll help you. 286 00:10:26,201 --> 00:10:27,775 Well, that's interesting since you didn't help me 287 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,944 when the café needed a new generator. 288 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,021 Can I push a generator on a swing 289 00:10:32,115 --> 00:10:34,782 or get it into beauty pageants? 290 00:10:34,951 --> 00:10:37,360 No, but it can keep your lights on during a power outage. 291 00:10:37,453 --> 00:10:38,953 Can a baby do that? 292 00:10:39,122 --> 00:10:42,198 (chuckles) Baby's sounding pretty useless right now, huh? 293 00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:44,384 (gasps) This was my favorite 294 00:10:44,536 --> 00:10:47,370 when I was pregnant with Hailey. 295 00:10:47,463 --> 00:10:50,373 You know, if I had all the options available today, 296 00:10:50,466 --> 00:10:51,724 you'd have a brother or sister. 297 00:10:51,877 --> 00:10:54,152 Wait, you told me you didn't want to have more kids 298 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,562 -because being pregnant gave you back acne. -No. 299 00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,806 You were too young to get the whole story. 300 00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:01,642 We just couldn't get pregnant. I'd given up 301 00:11:01,736 --> 00:11:03,553 on having kids at all when we finally found out 302 00:11:03,646 --> 00:11:04,812 you were on the way. 303 00:11:04,906 --> 00:11:07,740 Then, when I had you, 304 00:11:07,893 --> 00:11:11,911 oh, I felt my life's purpose was fulfilled. 305 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:15,489 You look so cute, Sheila. 306 00:11:15,583 --> 00:11:16,916 Please, she looks like she should be 307 00:11:17,085 --> 00:11:18,927 in the Guinness Book of World Records. 308 00:11:20,663 --> 00:11:23,515 Can you believe that Carter used my phone 309 00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:25,332 to contact Henry like that? 310 00:11:25,427 --> 00:11:27,501 It's my phone. 311 00:11:27,595 --> 00:11:29,595 Yes, that was pretty ballsy, 312 00:11:29,764 --> 00:11:31,690 but I'm gonna have to take Carter's side on this one. 313 00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:33,692 That was a lot of money that you gave a stranger, 314 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,695 and this online dating stuff is a cesspool of deceit. 315 00:11:36,846 --> 00:11:40,365 I know. I'm the biggest turd in the pool. 316 00:11:40,592 --> 00:11:42,183 I got to come clean. 317 00:11:42,277 --> 00:11:45,537 Randi, I told Henry that I'm six-foot-two 318 00:11:45,764 --> 00:11:47,947 and used to model for Dillard's. 319 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:51,358 Wait. So that would make you the catfisher. 320 00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:54,120 Yes. But I can't tell Carter because he thinks 321 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,047 catfishers should be in jail. 322 00:11:56,199 --> 00:11:57,941 But you're a weird kind of catfisher. 323 00:11:58,034 --> 00:11:59,250 You're giving money away. 324 00:11:59,477 --> 00:12:00,793 That's like breaking into someone's house 325 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,220 and leaving a TV. 326 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,888 I feel terrible. 327 00:12:04,115 --> 00:12:06,783 Sweet Henry's gonna show up hoping to meet me, 328 00:12:06,876 --> 00:12:09,786 and I didn't even use my real picture. 329 00:12:09,879 --> 00:12:11,730 Well, whose picture did you use? 330 00:12:13,049 --> 00:12:14,482 Hello. 331 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:19,237 Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes. 332 00:12:21,316 --> 00:12:23,366 Here you go. 333 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,749 Uh, where the heck are you going looking like that? 334 00:12:30,976 --> 00:12:34,252 Well, I'm just trying to figure this out. 335 00:12:34,479 --> 00:12:35,903 My mother and Tara were talking about 336 00:12:36,113 --> 00:12:37,922 how being pregnant was such a magical time 337 00:12:38,149 --> 00:12:39,240 and gave them purpose. 338 00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:41,092 So I just thought that maybe if I 339 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,577 experienced life as a pregnant woman for a little bit, 340 00:12:43,671 --> 00:12:45,579 it might give me some clarity about whether I ever 341 00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:47,432 want to do this for real. 342 00:12:47,659 --> 00:12:50,827 Okay, but this just puts me in an awkward situation 343 00:12:50,996 --> 00:12:52,545 about whether I should let you leave 344 00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:54,439 or stage an intervention. 345 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:01,929 -Oh, congratulations. -Thank you. 346 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,431 It's a very special time. 347 00:13:04,526 --> 00:13:05,784 Let me get that for you. 348 00:13:06,011 --> 00:13:07,844 Oh. Thanks so much. 349 00:13:07,937 --> 00:13:09,362 It's my pleasure. 350 00:13:09,531 --> 00:13:11,873 It is my pleasure to be pleasured by you. 351 00:13:13,368 --> 00:13:15,126 That came out wrong. 352 00:13:15,353 --> 00:13:18,112 Oh, little line. 353 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,947 Oh, does anyone mind if we let the pregnant woman 354 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:20,948 cut to the front? 355 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:24,710 (laughing): Oh... 356 00:13:24,863 --> 00:13:26,471 Strawberry on a sugar cone, please. 357 00:13:26,698 --> 00:13:28,881 Do you mind if I guess? I'm pretty good at this. 358 00:13:29,034 --> 00:13:31,959 -My weight? -Oh, no, no. Uh, the sex of the baby. 359 00:13:32,128 --> 00:13:34,795 Oh. (laughs) Right, yeah. 360 00:13:34,964 --> 00:13:36,556 Um, guess away. 361 00:13:36,708 --> 00:13:39,225 Uh, by the way you're carrying, I would say it's a boy. 362 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,893 Nope, it's a girl. 363 00:13:41,046 --> 00:13:43,563 I could have made him right, but I decided to make him wrong. 364 00:13:43,731 --> 00:13:45,731 I feel really powerful right now. 365 00:13:45,884 --> 00:13:47,141 There you go. 366 00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:49,402 I gave you an extra scoop because you're eating for two. 367 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,554 Oh, thank you so much. What do I owe you? 368 00:13:51,647 --> 00:13:53,072 Oh, it's on the house. 369 00:13:53,224 --> 00:13:54,999 (laughing): Yum! 370 00:13:55,226 --> 00:13:57,743 Oh, tastes better when it's free. 371 00:13:57,896 --> 00:13:59,170 Oh, sorry. 372 00:13:59,397 --> 00:14:00,897 Kat? 373 00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:03,566 Steve. Hi. 374 00:14:03,659 --> 00:14:04,901 Maybe he won't notice that I'm... 375 00:14:04,994 --> 00:14:08,162 -Are you pregnant? -He noticed. 376 00:14:08,256 --> 00:14:10,181 (chuckles nervously) 377 00:14:14,503 --> 00:14:16,095 Wait, you're really pregnant? 378 00:14:16,264 --> 00:14:18,022 -It's a girl. -Very helpful. 379 00:14:18,249 --> 00:14:19,432 Thank you. 380 00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:21,359 But I just saw you at your café yesterday 381 00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:23,528 and you didn't look pregnant. 382 00:14:25,181 --> 00:14:27,681 Uh, th-the reason that you didn't notice 383 00:14:27,775 --> 00:14:31,035 is that I-I popped overnight. 384 00:14:31,187 --> 00:14:32,871 Which, as a man, you may not know 385 00:14:33,098 --> 00:14:34,188 it's an actual thing. 386 00:14:34,282 --> 00:14:35,373 It's a real thing. 387 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,542 Don't you have ice cream to scoop? 388 00:14:37,693 --> 00:14:39,360 Look, uh, I don't know that I'm ready 389 00:14:39,454 --> 00:14:40,545 to go on a date with someone who's... 390 00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,271 -(whispering): I'm not pregnant. -What? 391 00:14:42,365 --> 00:14:43,798 I have to tell you something. 392 00:14:48,463 --> 00:14:50,113 I'm sorry, I didn't want to say anything 393 00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:52,115 in front of all those people, but you can relax. 394 00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:54,784 This is all a misunderstanding. I'm not really pregnant. 395 00:14:54,802 --> 00:14:58,304 -You look really pregnant. -I'm just doing an experiment. 396 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,957 A little personal, social experiment. 397 00:15:01,050 --> 00:15:02,625 Okay, full disclosure, 398 00:15:02,794 --> 00:15:03,902 I'm thinking about freezing my eggs 399 00:15:04,129 --> 00:15:05,978 because I might want to get pregnant someday, 400 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,464 but I'm not quite sure. I could also adopt. 401 00:15:08,633 --> 00:15:10,241 I'm super pro-adoption. 402 00:15:10,468 --> 00:15:11,968 Maybe things will work out between us 403 00:15:12,137 --> 00:15:14,470 and we'll do things the old-fashioned way. 404 00:15:14,489 --> 00:15:16,139 Or not. No, but seriously, 405 00:15:16,307 --> 00:15:18,641 it's just a pillow under there-- go ahead, pinch it. 406 00:15:18,810 --> 00:15:20,309 I'm not pinching your baby. 407 00:15:20,478 --> 00:15:21,644 Then put your hand up my shirt. 408 00:15:21,813 --> 00:15:24,422 Um, that's more of an after-date thing. 409 00:15:24,649 --> 00:15:27,817 Steve, it's just a pillow from my couch. Here. 410 00:15:27,986 --> 00:15:28,834 Hold this. 411 00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,245 Look. See? I don't feel anything. 412 00:15:31,339 --> 00:15:32,913 Oh. Okay, fine. 413 00:15:33,007 --> 00:15:34,173 Say "push." 414 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,325 -Push. -(mock screaming) 415 00:15:36,494 --> 00:15:37,418 See? 416 00:15:37,512 --> 00:15:38,919 Pillow baby! 417 00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,814 Easy birth. Hey, I can drink again. 418 00:15:43,426 --> 00:15:45,835 (laughing) 419 00:15:45,928 --> 00:15:47,336 "Wah!" Ooh. 420 00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:50,323 (chuckling): Burp the baby. 421 00:15:56,105 --> 00:15:57,956 What the hell, Phil? 422 00:15:58,183 --> 00:15:59,849 Here I was, worried about you, 423 00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:01,867 only to find out that you stole Max's identity. 424 00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,853 I'm sorry, Max. 425 00:16:03,946 --> 00:16:05,538 But in my defense... 426 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,466 I never thought you'd find out. 427 00:16:08,693 --> 00:16:10,468 -Well, I found out. -He had to break up 428 00:16:10,695 --> 00:16:12,470 with an old man wearing hearing aids. 429 00:16:12,697 --> 00:16:14,997 Do you know how many times Max had to repeat hisself? 430 00:16:15,049 --> 00:16:17,892 Everybody at the bar had a tear in their eye. 431 00:16:19,204 --> 00:16:20,886 I pulled out some of my go-to breakup phrases. 432 00:16:21,039 --> 00:16:22,888 "The timing's off." "You deserve better." 433 00:16:23,041 --> 00:16:24,890 "I think I'm just scared of being happy." 434 00:16:25,043 --> 00:16:27,543 And then, ultimately, "I'm not Phil!" 435 00:16:27,712 --> 00:16:30,396 I'm sorry I put you in that position, 436 00:16:30,565 --> 00:16:32,898 but I have never online-dated before, 437 00:16:33,051 --> 00:16:35,309 and I didn't think anybody'd pay any attention 438 00:16:35,445 --> 00:16:37,570 if they saw the real me. 439 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,071 Well, someday, Phil, you're gonna have 440 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,165 to start seeing yourself the way everyone else does. 441 00:16:41,392 --> 00:16:43,501 You know what? Repeat after me. 442 00:16:43,694 --> 00:16:47,338 I am Phil Crumpler, and I am hot as hell! 443 00:16:47,565 --> 00:16:49,899 I'm not gonna say that. 444 00:16:49,992 --> 00:16:51,751 Okay, then try this: I am Phil Crumpler, 445 00:16:51,903 --> 00:16:54,846 and I make the most delicious pies and tell great stories. 446 00:16:55,073 --> 00:16:57,406 And I am cute as a button. 447 00:16:57,458 --> 00:16:59,166 (chanting): Say it! Say it! 448 00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:02,669 RANDI, MAX AND CARTER: Say it! Say it! Say it! Say it! 449 00:17:02,764 --> 00:17:06,006 -Say it! -I'm Phil Crumpler, and I'm hot as hell! 450 00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:07,191 (cheering) 451 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,194 Oh, I'm getting my mojo back. 452 00:17:10,421 --> 00:17:11,863 Do you think I should text Henry? 453 00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,365 Yeah, I think he'd like that. When I walked him to his car, 454 00:17:14,592 --> 00:17:16,701 his lip was kind of trembling, so I gave him a hug. 455 00:17:16,928 --> 00:17:18,870 And then he grabbed a cheek. 456 00:17:19,097 --> 00:17:22,623 Well, turns out lying is a bad idea. 457 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,710 See? 458 00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,628 ♪ ♪ 459 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,277 You know, I can see how giving birth to a throw pillow 460 00:17:34,370 --> 00:17:36,112 on the sidewalk in front of a group of onlookers 461 00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:38,222 might be a little bit nuts, but I feel like 462 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,224 I was driven nuts trying to make a decision 463 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,118 that Steve will never even have to make. 464 00:17:42,136 --> 00:17:43,619 So screw you, Steve. 465 00:17:43,638 --> 00:17:45,137 Well, let's not be too hard on Steve. 466 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,306 Sounds like a lot of things were coming at him at once. 467 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,960 (chuckles): Yeah, screw you, Max, for taking Steve's side. 468 00:17:51,053 --> 00:17:53,237 You know, you guys have all the time in the world 469 00:17:53,464 --> 00:17:55,131 to make decisions about procreation. 470 00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:57,133 You know who else has all the time in the world? 471 00:17:57,302 --> 00:17:59,819 Cats. They can have kittens up until the day they die. 472 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,245 But not this Kat. 473 00:18:01,472 --> 00:18:03,081 Hey, there's still kind of a clock with guys. 474 00:18:03,308 --> 00:18:05,941 I mean, I wouldn't want me and my kid to both be in diapers 475 00:18:05,993 --> 00:18:07,543 at the same time. 476 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,481 Wow. 477 00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:15,576 Even in a diaper, he's still hot. 478 00:18:15,670 --> 00:18:19,263 So, wait, do you want to have kids? 479 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,599 Mm, not really. 480 00:18:21,826 --> 00:18:25,269 I mean, I love roughhousing with my nieces and nephews, 481 00:18:25,496 --> 00:18:27,421 and I loved teaching, but... 482 00:18:27,515 --> 00:18:29,256 I don't like thinking about my own future, 483 00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:31,350 and worrying about someone else's 484 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,336 -might make my head explode. -Hmm. 485 00:18:33,429 --> 00:18:34,946 You'd be a fun dad, though. 486 00:18:35,097 --> 00:18:36,114 Oh, I acknowledge that. 487 00:18:36,341 --> 00:18:37,598 You'd be a fun mom. 488 00:18:37,692 --> 00:18:39,766 Oh, I acknowledge that. 489 00:18:39,861 --> 00:18:42,102 But you still have time to change your mind. 490 00:18:42,271 --> 00:18:44,438 I don't. This might be my last chance 491 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,440 to have biological children. 492 00:18:46,609 --> 00:18:49,443 Which I may not even want, or maybe I do, I... 493 00:18:49,612 --> 00:18:51,612 There I go, Max, back on the hamster wheel: 494 00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:53,297 circular thoughts, circular thoughts. 495 00:18:53,524 --> 00:18:55,782 What does your gut tell you? 496 00:18:55,951 --> 00:18:58,544 My gut? Tells me that I have no idea 497 00:18:58,696 --> 00:19:00,546 what the rest of my life's gonna look like, 498 00:19:00,698 --> 00:19:02,789 much less what I'm gonna want or need in a year. 499 00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:05,626 I-I never thought I'd quit my job and open a cat café. 500 00:19:05,794 --> 00:19:07,870 I never thought I'd become a One Direction fan 501 00:19:07,963 --> 00:19:09,296 four years after they broke up. 502 00:19:09,465 --> 00:19:10,706 They didn't actually break up. 503 00:19:10,799 --> 00:19:12,892 -It's just a hiatus. -They're in a hiatus. 504 00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:15,802 Look, I may be turning 40 soon, but... 505 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:20,533 I still feel like my future is full of unknown possibilities. 506 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:23,977 Kat... 507 00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:27,665 I may not know math like you do, but I know this: 508 00:19:27,858 --> 00:19:31,076 if freezing your eggs isn't a hundred percent no, 509 00:19:31,229 --> 00:19:33,579 it's a yes. 510 00:19:34,582 --> 00:19:36,749 That's not really math at all, but I like it. 511 00:19:36,918 --> 00:19:38,509 (chuckles) 512 00:19:38,736 --> 00:19:40,511 And like you said, it's expensive, 513 00:19:40,738 --> 00:19:41,846 it may not work... 514 00:19:41,997 --> 00:19:44,831 but in the spirit of possibilities... 515 00:19:44,926 --> 00:19:46,976 let that be one of them. 516 00:19:48,837 --> 00:19:51,171 You voted. You said you weren't gonna vote, 517 00:19:51,265 --> 00:19:52,673 but you voted. 518 00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:55,693 I just... I want for you what you want for you. 519 00:19:55,844 --> 00:19:58,362 I think that's what you want. 520 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,365 I think that is what I want. 521 00:20:01,517 --> 00:20:03,492 I want possibilities. 522 00:20:05,096 --> 00:20:08,706 Or what if I tell my mother I'm freezing my eggs, 523 00:20:08,857 --> 00:20:11,876 take her money, and we go on a badass cruise to Alaska? 524 00:20:12,027 --> 00:20:12,910 I support that as well. 525 00:20:13,062 --> 00:20:13,936 -Cheers. -Cheers. 526 00:20:14,029 --> 00:20:15,963 ♪ ♪ 527 00:20:18,125 --> 00:20:19,775 Phil? 528 00:20:19,944 --> 00:20:20,943 Henry? 529 00:20:20,962 --> 00:20:23,446 Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes. 530 00:20:23,539 --> 00:20:26,724 (laughing): Oh, you're gonna make me blush! 531 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,893 Sit down, handsome. 532 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,288 HENRY: Nice to meet you. 533 00:20:32,306 --> 00:20:35,291 We call her Nelly, but you can name her whatever you want. 534 00:20:35,460 --> 00:20:36,792 I like Nelly. 535 00:20:36,885 --> 00:20:38,627 She's an only child, and this is her first pet, 536 00:20:38,646 --> 00:20:40,129 so it's a big deal for her. 537 00:20:40,222 --> 00:20:41,313 I get it. 538 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,491 Okay, now you get to flip the number. 539 00:20:46,304 --> 00:20:47,912 Good job. All right, well, 540 00:20:48,139 --> 00:20:50,473 take good care of Nelly. 541 00:20:50,641 --> 00:20:52,733 Here are all her eye patches. 542 00:20:53,811 --> 00:20:56,145 She's probably gonna want to sleep under the covers with you. 543 00:20:56,163 --> 00:20:57,813 -(meows) -(sobbing) 544 00:20:57,832 --> 00:21:00,574 Sorry I'm crying, it's just that she's one of my favorites 545 00:21:00,668 --> 00:21:01,575 and... 546 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,719 and I'm taking hormone shots. 547 00:21:05,323 --> 00:21:06,989 Oh. Her favorite song is 548 00:21:07,158 --> 00:21:08,415 Nelly's "Hot in Herre." 549 00:21:08,509 --> 00:21:11,102 Is it me, or is it really getting hot in here? 550 00:21:11,329 --> 00:21:12,919 All right, well, goodbye. 551 00:21:13,014 --> 00:21:15,564 Goodbye to you, Nelly. Oh... 552 00:21:16,459 --> 00:21:17,608 And goodbye to you. 553 00:21:17,835 --> 00:21:19,610 ♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 554 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,445 ♪ We know how to work it and we work it real good ♪ 555 00:21:21,672 --> 00:21:25,098 ♪ Bright lights are shining, they like the way we look ♪ 556 00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:27,100 ♪ I ain't got no shoes but got a whole lot of soul ♪ 557 00:21:27,269 --> 00:21:28,844 ♪ Watch me now ♪ 558 00:21:28,937 --> 00:21:32,773 ♪ Watch me now, whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 559 00:21:32,941 --> 00:21:34,517 ♪ Watch me, watch me now. ♪ 560 00:21:34,610 --> 00:21:36,276 Captioning sponsored by WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 561 00:21:36,445 --> 00:21:38,754 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org