1 00:00:03,912 --> 00:00:06,130 (snoring) 2 00:00:08,992 --> 00:00:11,927 Oh, hello. 3 00:00:13,589 --> 00:00:15,764 I must have overslept. 4 00:00:17,426 --> 00:00:19,685 Phil, Randi and I had a really wild time 5 00:00:19,912 --> 00:00:21,336 at the café last night. 6 00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:22,504 And our next cat looking 7 00:00:22,598 --> 00:00:25,932 for her forever home is Claw-dia Sniffer. 8 00:00:26,085 --> 00:00:27,768 What she lacks in hair, she makes up for 9 00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,770 with her purr-fect complexion. 10 00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:33,240 Her secret? She never stops grooming. 11 00:00:34,684 --> 00:00:37,611 Randi has built up quite a social media following 12 00:00:37,763 --> 00:00:39,187 by livestreaming our events. 13 00:00:39,281 --> 00:00:41,189 She even put a GoPro camera on Meghan Meow-kel 14 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,859 so people online can watch what she does all day. 15 00:00:45,028 --> 00:00:46,211 What is Meghan doing now? 16 00:00:46,363 --> 00:00:49,965 Still sitting on her ass like the princess she is. 17 00:00:51,627 --> 00:00:53,052 So exciting. 18 00:00:53,279 --> 00:00:55,279 Doing what you love with people you love 19 00:00:55,372 --> 00:00:57,038 is a business owner's dream. 20 00:00:57,132 --> 00:00:59,616 And Phil, Randi and I-- we're kind of a dream team. 21 00:00:59,709 --> 00:01:00,951 Speaking of dreams, 22 00:01:01,044 --> 00:01:03,896 I've been having a recurring one about Max. 23 00:01:05,749 --> 00:01:07,733 You want a banana split? 24 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,810 Where'd you get that? 25 00:01:09,962 --> 00:01:12,571 From that fly-thru ice cream stand. 26 00:01:12,722 --> 00:01:14,722 You know what I'm thinking? 27 00:01:14,817 --> 00:01:17,725 That we should keep our eyes peeled for a flying churro cart? 28 00:01:17,861 --> 00:01:20,412 That you're beautiful in the moonlight. 29 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,492 BOTH: Oh! 30 00:01:25,661 --> 00:01:28,995 And that's the real reason I overslept. 31 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,298 And now, on with our show. 32 00:01:33,335 --> 00:01:35,427 ♪ 33 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,433 (sing-songy): Guess what I had again. 34 00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:43,343 I told you when I took this job, 35 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,253 there are three things I hate-- building IKEA furniture, 36 00:01:45,347 --> 00:01:48,107 picking up friends from the airport and guessing games. 37 00:01:48,292 --> 00:01:51,168 It's true. She even put it on her application. 38 00:01:51,337 --> 00:01:53,428 I had the flying dream about Max again. 39 00:01:53,522 --> 00:01:56,782 It was so wonderfully real, to finally touch a cloud, 40 00:01:57,009 --> 00:01:59,618 take in a bird's-eye view of the city, and wonder, 41 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:03,347 if I pooped on someone, would they think it was lucky? 42 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,106 Probably not. 43 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,200 So did you kiss him? 44 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,294 I don't dream kiss-and-tell. 45 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,296 No. 46 00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:14,541 Here's an idea. Why don't you just tell Max about the dream? 47 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,360 Get his reaction. 48 00:02:16,378 --> 00:02:18,137 Gauge whether he wants to try to kiss you in real life. 49 00:02:18,364 --> 00:02:20,139 He's still hung up on his ex-girlfriend Brigitte. 50 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,640 Well, she lives in France, and his penis is here. 51 00:02:21,867 --> 00:02:23,367 That's all I'm saying. 52 00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:26,370 Randi, please. There are kittens in here. 53 00:02:26,538 --> 00:02:28,313 And to be honest, 54 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:31,132 the real joy of a crush is that it's one-sided. 55 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,710 It's all mine to do with as I wish, 56 00:02:33,803 --> 00:02:36,062 without his pesky feelings getting in the way. 57 00:02:36,231 --> 00:02:37,381 So you're gonna do nothing 58 00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:38,882 because you're afraid he'll reject you? 59 00:02:39,051 --> 00:02:41,309 -There's that, too. -Mm. 60 00:02:41,403 --> 00:02:42,477 Excuse me. 61 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,479 Hello. How can I help you, kind patron? 62 00:02:44,648 --> 00:02:46,072 (Southern accent): This lemon chiffon cake is so good, 63 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,407 it made me want to call my daddy, 64 00:02:47,559 --> 00:02:49,835 and I haven't talked to him in 15 years. 65 00:02:50,062 --> 00:02:51,336 I know, it's pretty great, right? 66 00:02:51,563 --> 00:02:53,488 And I can brag 'cause I didn't make it. 67 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,400 But I was smart enough to hire the guy who did, so, yay me. 68 00:02:56,493 --> 00:03:00,012 Well, I'm getting married soon, and I was wondering 69 00:03:00,239 --> 00:03:01,996 if you'd be able to make it into a wedding cake. 70 00:03:02,165 --> 00:03:04,165 Maybe to serve about 60 people? 71 00:03:04,259 --> 00:03:06,426 Um, I'll have to check with our baker, 72 00:03:06,578 --> 00:03:08,670 but I'm pretty sure he'll be on board. 73 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,022 Here's all my info. 74 00:03:10,249 --> 00:03:12,557 Look forward to your baker giving me a jingle. 75 00:03:12,784 --> 00:03:15,176 All right, we'll be in touch. Have a Kitty-Rific Day. 76 00:03:15,270 --> 00:03:16,436 Thank you. 77 00:03:16,588 --> 00:03:18,104 Yes! 78 00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:19,847 It starts with one wedding cake, 79 00:03:19,942 --> 00:03:21,758 and pretty soon, we're the official pastry bakers 80 00:03:21,851 --> 00:03:25,095 for the Kentucky Derby and royal weddings all across the globe. 81 00:03:25,188 --> 00:03:26,914 You really can dream, can't you? 82 00:03:28,191 --> 00:03:29,783 -I'm back. -KAT: Oh, Phil, 83 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,043 I have huge news. 84 00:03:31,194 --> 00:03:33,069 You finally kissed Max in your dream. 85 00:03:33,121 --> 00:03:35,214 Less huge. You just missed a customer who asked 86 00:03:35,365 --> 00:03:37,699 if you could make your lemon chiffon cake for his wedding. 87 00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:39,776 Are you squeezing my piping bag? 88 00:03:39,869 --> 00:03:41,127 Somebody wants to eat my cake 89 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,447 as an extension of their love? 90 00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:47,117 Does the phrase "eat my cake" sound dirty to anyone else? 91 00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:50,971 Did you not just hear, "squeezing my piping bag"? 92 00:03:51,139 --> 00:03:52,639 Here's his information. 93 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,400 As soon as we calculate the price for the larger cake, 94 00:03:55,552 --> 00:03:56,810 I'll call and confirm. 95 00:03:56,979 --> 00:03:59,980 Get ready for the wedding cake of your life! 96 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,241 "Lane Gaffney"? 97 00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:03,575 Oh, no. 98 00:04:03,727 --> 00:04:04,985 Are you okay, Phil? 99 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,913 Yeah, you look pale. I mean, paler than usual. 100 00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:11,733 Lane Gaffney is the name of the boy Marty left me for. 101 00:04:11,827 --> 00:04:16,404 Well, I-I'm sure it's got to be a different Lane Gaffney. 102 00:04:16,498 --> 00:04:19,424 I bet that he wrote his name wrong, 103 00:04:19,651 --> 00:04:21,318 because when he introduced himself, 104 00:04:21,336 --> 00:04:23,762 he said his name was "Waynes Taffney." 105 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,581 You know, when gay marriage was made legal, 106 00:04:26,675 --> 00:04:28,416 Marty said it was a conspiracy 107 00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:31,344 by the wedding industry to get our gay dollars. 108 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,998 But in reality, I guess he just didn't want to marry me. 109 00:04:35,091 --> 00:04:36,108 RANDI: Well, doesn't Marty's boyfriend 110 00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:37,943 know that you work here? I think it's kind of 111 00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:40,170 cruel for him to ask you to make his cake. 112 00:04:40,188 --> 00:04:42,263 See, "make his cake" also sounds dirty to me. 113 00:04:42,357 --> 00:04:45,099 Marty suggested after the breakup 114 00:04:45,193 --> 00:04:47,101 that we not communicate 115 00:04:47,270 --> 00:04:50,772 because he couldn't understand me through my blubbering. 116 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,609 Well, I-I'm... I'm just gonna call Lane... 117 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,295 I mean Waynes, and tell him 118 00:04:56,446 --> 00:05:00,190 that we cannot make that cake because of an egg shortage. 119 00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:01,967 Due to a chicken shortage. 120 00:05:02,194 --> 00:05:04,285 And we just don't know which came first. 121 00:05:04,379 --> 00:05:06,196 Yeah, you shouldn't have to make your ex's cake. 122 00:05:06,289 --> 00:05:08,456 You've given him enough of your frosting. 123 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,867 Okay, that is just filthy. 124 00:05:11,795 --> 00:05:13,386 You want to help me drink this expired bourbon? 125 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,556 -Does bourbon expire? -Do you want to help me or not? 126 00:05:16,725 --> 00:05:18,800 I'm in, even though bourbon gives me weird dreams. 127 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,302 Couldn't be any weirder than the dream I keep having. 128 00:05:22,305 --> 00:05:24,564 If he says it's about us flying together, 129 00:05:24,733 --> 00:05:26,399 I'm going to rip my shirt off right now. 130 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,569 Funny. I've been having crazy dreams, too. 131 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,978 What's yours about? 132 00:05:31,073 --> 00:05:33,723 Okay, let's see. I'm in a horse-drawn carriage. 133 00:05:33,892 --> 00:05:35,500 Okay, I guess I'm leaving this on. 134 00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:37,894 Were you driving, or was someone else driving it? 135 00:05:37,987 --> 00:05:39,746 I was driving it, and wearing medieval armor. 136 00:05:39,898 --> 00:05:41,823 And then, suddenly, I get a flat. 137 00:05:41,917 --> 00:05:43,157 But when I get out to take a look at it, 138 00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:44,901 instead of normal carriage wheels, 139 00:05:44,994 --> 00:05:46,570 I have big monster-truck tires. 140 00:05:46,663 --> 00:05:48,905 Monster-truck tires on a horse-drawn carriage. 141 00:05:49,074 --> 00:05:50,331 Lot of themes, lot of themes. 142 00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,166 Yeah. And when I try to change the tire, 143 00:05:52,335 --> 00:05:53,685 it turns into a giant pizza. 144 00:05:53,912 --> 00:05:57,022 But just as I'm about to take a bite... I wake up. 145 00:05:57,249 --> 00:05:58,765 Oh, that's frustrating. 146 00:05:58,917 --> 00:06:00,100 I've had it three nights in a row. 147 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:01,434 So what's it trying to tell me? 148 00:06:01,587 --> 00:06:05,697 Okay, you want to go back in time 149 00:06:05,924 --> 00:06:08,700 when you felt protected, ergo the armor, 150 00:06:08,927 --> 00:06:11,853 and suckle at the teat of pizza. 151 00:06:12,021 --> 00:06:13,947 -Well, I do love pizza. -(laughs) 152 00:06:14,099 --> 00:06:16,449 -What's yours about? -Mm. 153 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,118 Hmm? 154 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:20,545 Your crazy dream-- what's it about? 155 00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:25,291 Well, funnily enough, Max, you are featured in it. 156 00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:27,961 -Really? -Yup. It's a flying dream. 157 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,554 -I love those. -Yeah, me, too. 158 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,890 We're flying over Louisville, sharing a banana split... 159 00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:33,633 I'm more of a savory guy, but go on. 160 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,969 And we're holding hands so that we don't lose each other. 161 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,454 And then we decide to see if we can-- 162 00:06:37,547 --> 00:06:38,471 here goes nothing-- 163 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,565 kiss in the air while flying. 164 00:06:40,717 --> 00:06:42,142 -And can we? -We cannot. 165 00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:44,628 -Ah. -The wind keeps pushing us apart. 166 00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:46,630 It's such a hater. 167 00:06:46,723 --> 00:06:48,573 Anyway, I think that's why it's recurring, 168 00:06:48,725 --> 00:06:49,966 because there's no closure. 169 00:06:50,135 --> 00:06:51,410 You know, same for you. 170 00:06:51,637 --> 00:06:55,488 I never eat the pizza so I keep dreaming about the pizza. 171 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,457 Exactly. 172 00:07:01,496 --> 00:07:03,496 There. Maybe now you can get back to dreaming 173 00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:06,925 about something more fun than boring old me. 174 00:07:08,503 --> 00:07:12,431 Expired bourbon... is the best bourbon. 175 00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:20,087 Good morning. I hope you're enjoying your coffee 176 00:07:20,182 --> 00:07:23,166 and that we're meeting your expectations. 177 00:07:23,185 --> 00:07:25,335 -Guess what? -I told you when I took this job, 178 00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:27,504 there are three things I hate-- building IKEA furniture... 179 00:07:27,522 --> 00:07:30,173 I told Max about my dream, and he kissed me. 180 00:07:30,192 --> 00:07:32,358 (gasps) A long kiss or a short kiss? 181 00:07:32,511 --> 00:07:35,695 Hard to tell because time stood still. 182 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:36,955 What do you think it means? 183 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,606 PHIL: It means be careful. 184 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,960 Love will put rocks in your pockets 185 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,963 and lure you to the deep end of the creek. 186 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,875 Katharine... you must feel terrible. 187 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,135 About what? 188 00:07:50,362 --> 00:07:52,304 Well, I was drinking my morning coffee 189 00:07:52,455 --> 00:07:54,956 and reading your Yelp reviews, as I do every morning. 190 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:58,201 I had no idea. That's kind of sweet. 191 00:07:58,294 --> 00:08:01,538 And I saw you'd gotten your first one-star review. 192 00:08:01,631 --> 00:08:03,982 Ooh, if that's because I spelled that guy's name wrong 193 00:08:04,209 --> 00:08:06,133 on his cup, I'm gonna fire back. 194 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:09,229 If it sounds like an "F," it should be spelled with an "F." 195 00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,881 No, no, it was because you're... 196 00:08:11,975 --> 00:08:13,717 homophobic. 197 00:08:13,885 --> 00:08:15,476 Huh? 198 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,311 I found the review. 199 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:18,388 (yelps) 200 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,665 Did you just yelp while reading Yelp? Wait. 201 00:08:20,892 --> 00:08:23,059 Is that why they call it that? 202 00:08:23,228 --> 00:08:25,337 "The pastries at Kat's Cat Café are wonderful, 203 00:08:25,564 --> 00:08:27,172 "but they are not a welcoming business. 204 00:08:27,399 --> 00:08:29,674 "I discovered this after they refused to bake a cake 205 00:08:29,901 --> 00:08:32,736 for my wedding because I'm gay. Lane G." 206 00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:36,497 -What the...?! -He's evil! 207 00:08:36,591 --> 00:08:39,017 The guy Phil's ex is marrying asked 208 00:08:39,244 --> 00:08:40,835 if we would bake their wedding cake. 209 00:08:41,004 --> 00:08:42,595 Oh, well, that's certainly awkward. 210 00:08:42,748 --> 00:08:45,248 Exactly. So, I told him we couldn't do it. 211 00:08:45,341 --> 00:08:48,101 -This is all my fault. -KAT: No, it's not. 212 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,604 I mean, who would bake a cake for their ex's wedding 213 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,439 and not put a laxative in it? 214 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,018 Damn. A bunch of people shared that review on Insta, 215 00:08:57,186 --> 00:08:59,020 and we've already lost 200 followers. 216 00:08:59,114 --> 00:09:02,040 We had 200 followers?! Yes! 217 00:09:02,267 --> 00:09:04,859 Kat, I don't want you to lose customers. 218 00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:06,211 Then you need to call Lane back 219 00:09:06,438 --> 00:09:07,862 and tell him to take that review down 220 00:09:08,031 --> 00:09:09,196 and explain to him the real reason 221 00:09:09,365 --> 00:09:11,124 we're not baking that cake. 222 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,126 But if I do that, then Marty will know, while he's moved on, 223 00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:16,137 I'm in the same broken place. 224 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,451 Look, maybe we're overreacting. 225 00:09:21,544 --> 00:09:23,803 You know, we know in our hearts that we weren't discriminating. 226 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,638 Well, you were discriminating. 227 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,808 Not because he's gay. Because he's a homewrecker. 228 00:09:28,977 --> 00:09:31,736 Even so, maybe, 229 00:09:31,888 --> 00:09:34,798 instead of defending ourselves against this one situation, 230 00:09:34,891 --> 00:09:37,634 we need to show people that... that we welcome everyone. 231 00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:40,320 Ooh, how about I showcase Neil Cat-rick Harris 232 00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,413 as our cat of the month? 233 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:42,972 Yes, do that. 234 00:09:43,141 --> 00:09:44,565 And I can go pick up some rainbow balloons 235 00:09:44,659 --> 00:09:47,644 so everybody will know that this is a place where love grows. 236 00:09:47,662 --> 00:09:49,921 Oh. 237 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,318 If everyone can't see how accepting we are, 238 00:09:55,411 --> 00:09:57,429 they can get the heck out! 239 00:09:57,598 --> 00:10:00,432 Well, I see you've gone from sad to bitter. 240 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,083 I like this side more. 241 00:10:02,177 --> 00:10:05,770 And I see you've put the GoPro on Neil Cat-rick Harris. 242 00:10:05,997 --> 00:10:07,588 Yup. I'm calling it "Gay Cat Cam" 243 00:10:07,682 --> 00:10:09,666 so people can see how inclusive we are. 244 00:10:09,684 --> 00:10:12,110 Plus, we can see where the hell Neil Cat-rick goes all day. 245 00:10:12,337 --> 00:10:14,112 Have you noticed he kind of disappears? 246 00:10:14,339 --> 00:10:16,448 Maybe he got left by some tomcat, 247 00:10:16,599 --> 00:10:19,934 and he goes to a safe space to lick his wounds. 248 00:10:20,028 --> 00:10:21,620 If by "wounds," you mean "butt," 249 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:22,621 you're probably right. 250 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,788 (chuckles) 251 00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:26,416 Okay, let's see where he goes. 252 00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,118 Hello, my liege. 253 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,712 Hey. Don't tell me that's the princess hat you bought 254 00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,714 when we went to the Highland Ren Fair senior year. 255 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,142 When you challenged that wizard to a turkey leg eating contest 256 00:10:44,369 --> 00:10:45,702 and then you threw up in my car? 257 00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:47,203 The very same. 258 00:10:47,372 --> 00:10:48,313 And pizza? 259 00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:50,039 I did not have my dream last night, 260 00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:51,632 and I slept like a baby. 261 00:10:51,726 --> 00:10:54,043 I also dreamt about babies. They looked just like him, 262 00:10:54,137 --> 00:10:55,728 stubble and everything. It was weird. 263 00:10:56,806 --> 00:10:59,807 By making my dream come true, you broke the cycle. 264 00:10:59,901 --> 00:11:01,401 So I thought I would do the same for you. 265 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,977 Henceforth, 266 00:11:03,071 --> 00:11:04,979 -your tire. -Aw, man. 267 00:11:05,073 --> 00:11:06,723 Mikey's Pizza. Thank you. 268 00:11:06,816 --> 00:11:07,999 CARTER: Yeah. Thanks, Kat. 269 00:11:08,226 --> 00:11:09,742 I love it when people bring food from other places 270 00:11:09,895 --> 00:11:12,061 into my restaurant. 271 00:11:12,155 --> 00:11:13,487 Well, don't be too mad, 'cause I'm hoping 272 00:11:13,581 --> 00:11:15,398 I can request a favor from you both. 273 00:11:15,567 --> 00:11:17,734 A favor from both of us but the pizza's for him? 274 00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:19,160 Not very well-played, Kat. 275 00:11:19,254 --> 00:11:21,905 Not very well-played. 276 00:11:21,998 --> 00:11:23,348 Please? 277 00:11:23,575 --> 00:11:26,167 The guy Phil's ex is marrying left a brutal Yelp review 278 00:11:26,261 --> 00:11:27,835 because we wouldn't bake his wedding cake. 279 00:11:27,929 --> 00:11:29,245 So I was hoping you both 280 00:11:29,414 --> 00:11:31,523 could write glowing reviews to drown his out. 281 00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:34,934 And bonus points if you pretend to be a gay couple. 282 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,436 Wouldn't be the first time. 283 00:11:36,588 --> 00:11:39,513 Got us backstage at the Elton John concert. 284 00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:41,282 But I get half that pizza. 285 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,776 Yeah, we'll write a review. 286 00:11:43,929 --> 00:11:45,686 And this was so nice of you. 287 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,113 Oh, wait, there's more. 288 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,282 In order to continue making your dreams come true, 289 00:11:49,492 --> 00:11:50,542 I got us... 290 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,194 two tickets to the monster truck show Saturday! 291 00:11:53,288 --> 00:11:55,029 No way. (announcer voice): "This Saturday, 292 00:11:55,198 --> 00:11:58,441 Saturday, Saturday, prepare to be annihilated!" 293 00:11:58,534 --> 00:11:59,718 Is that a yes? 294 00:11:59,869 --> 00:12:01,869 "I have to ask Carter, Carter, Carter 295 00:12:01,963 --> 00:12:05,390 for the night off. I'll let you know ASAP!" 296 00:12:05,541 --> 00:12:07,308 Ow. That hurts my throat. 297 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,786 The guy that does those commercials 298 00:12:09,879 --> 00:12:10,970 must have no larynx left. 299 00:12:11,139 --> 00:12:13,139 Okeydoke. Well, I shall await 300 00:12:13,308 --> 00:12:14,733 your response by carrier pigeon. 301 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,777 I bid you adieu. 302 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,314 Uh, by "carrier pigeon," I just mean "text." 303 00:12:21,483 --> 00:12:23,316 You can just shoot me a text. Okay. 304 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,634 Huzzah! 305 00:12:24,803 --> 00:12:27,487 Hey, is it cool if I take Saturday night off? 306 00:12:27,639 --> 00:12:29,080 Kat asked me to the monster truck show that night. 307 00:12:29,232 --> 00:12:31,808 Oh. Well, if you got plans with your girlfriend, 308 00:12:31,826 --> 00:12:33,418 I can try and make that happen. 309 00:12:33,645 --> 00:12:35,328 She's not my girlfriend. 310 00:12:35,497 --> 00:12:37,213 Does she know that? 311 00:12:39,317 --> 00:12:41,985 Ooh, nice balloons. I feel so welcome here. 312 00:12:42,003 --> 00:12:43,577 What are y'all doing? 313 00:12:43,671 --> 00:12:45,079 Watching Neil Cat-rick Harris. 314 00:12:45,173 --> 00:12:47,657 He got into the air vent and he's wandering around. 315 00:12:47,675 --> 00:12:49,100 Well, it's clearly not his first time up there. 316 00:12:49,327 --> 00:12:52,604 There's his plush sushi toy, his catnip hedgehog. 317 00:12:52,831 --> 00:12:54,439 Ooh, and my lucky scrunchie. 318 00:12:54,666 --> 00:12:56,015 Ooh, he's right over the Middle C. 319 00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:57,500 I can see Max and Carter through the vent. 320 00:12:57,519 --> 00:12:59,944 Ooh, turn up the volume. To be a fly on the wall. 321 00:13:00,171 --> 00:13:01,929 -Or a cat in the vent, as they say. -(laughter) 322 00:13:02,023 --> 00:13:03,597 CARTER: She brought you a pizza. 323 00:13:03,766 --> 00:13:05,842 The last girl that brought me a pizza I married. 324 00:13:05,935 --> 00:13:07,285 Plus, what was all that 325 00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,103 "You helped me with my dream" business? 326 00:13:09,197 --> 00:13:11,956 Oh, she told me about this dream where we almost kissed, 327 00:13:12,183 --> 00:13:16,628 so, I don't know, it was late, and I just kind of kissed her. 328 00:13:16,855 --> 00:13:17,962 On the lips? 329 00:13:18,189 --> 00:13:19,372 It was a peck. 330 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:22,467 Last girl I pecked I put a baby inside. 331 00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:25,119 I may have picked up a bad habit in Europe. 332 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,696 Everybody kisses everybody there. 333 00:13:26,789 --> 00:13:29,532 My landlady kissed me for paying my rent on time. 334 00:13:29,625 --> 00:13:30,867 With tongue. 335 00:13:31,036 --> 00:13:32,459 Well, welcome to America, buddy. 336 00:13:32,628 --> 00:13:34,203 Unless you plan on giving your friend some benefits, 337 00:13:34,297 --> 00:13:35,796 you better check yourself. 338 00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:38,057 I'm telling you, girlfriend wants to be your girlfriend. 339 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,967 Oh, no. We've been friends forever. 340 00:13:40,103 --> 00:13:42,320 I could never date Kat. 341 00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,975 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. 342 00:13:48,069 --> 00:13:50,954 Maybe the hat was a bit much. 343 00:13:58,654 --> 00:14:01,798 KAT: I'll make this quick and painless. 344 00:14:08,089 --> 00:14:10,423 His memory will live on in our margaritas. 345 00:14:11,593 --> 00:14:13,667 Marty and Max should both be shot out of a cannon 346 00:14:13,761 --> 00:14:15,912 and I'll light the wick. 347 00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:18,005 At least you had something real with Marty. 348 00:14:18,099 --> 00:14:19,640 The only romance I've ever had with Max 349 00:14:19,751 --> 00:14:22,509 was the one in my mind, and now I don't even have that. 350 00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:24,320 Well, you can still fantasize about him. 351 00:14:26,349 --> 00:14:28,366 I'm sorry, did you say something? 352 00:14:28,593 --> 00:14:30,109 Nope. 353 00:14:30,261 --> 00:14:31,202 Oh. 354 00:14:33,781 --> 00:14:36,165 Actually, I don't think I can. 355 00:14:37,026 --> 00:14:38,692 What are you doing? 356 00:14:38,861 --> 00:14:40,361 (chuckles): Ooh, sorry. 357 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,881 Daniel's in Lexington for work and he wanted a photo. 358 00:14:43,032 --> 00:14:44,239 Things have been going really great with us, 359 00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:45,699 but I didn't want to make a big to-do 360 00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:48,177 because, well, look at y'all. 361 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,538 Well, I'm happy for you. 362 00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:53,207 I'm just trying to figure out how to be around Max 363 00:14:53,301 --> 00:14:55,226 and keep what I overheard a secret. 364 00:14:55,378 --> 00:14:59,639 All you have to do is set your internal thermostat on ice cold. 365 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,233 That's what my mama did to our neighbor lady 366 00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:05,645 after she called the cops for a wellness check 367 00:15:05,813 --> 00:15:08,072 'cause us kids were running around the yard 368 00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:10,241 without our shirts on. 369 00:15:10,393 --> 00:15:12,076 Wait, someone called the cops on you for that? 370 00:15:12,303 --> 00:15:14,412 Mm. But it might've been 'cause one of my sisters 371 00:15:14,639 --> 00:15:16,372 was 22 at the time. 372 00:15:20,328 --> 00:15:22,420 Hey. Just here for my dinner order. 373 00:15:22,647 --> 00:15:24,664 Yep. Right here. 374 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,073 -All ready for you. -Cool. 375 00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:27,741 Cool beans. Yeah, Randi, Phil and I 376 00:15:27,835 --> 00:15:29,152 are having a threesome tonight. 377 00:15:29,170 --> 00:15:31,320 That's what I call three people hanging out. 378 00:15:31,339 --> 00:15:33,097 I'm trying to take words with sexual connotation 379 00:15:33,324 --> 00:15:34,657 and make them clean again. 380 00:15:34,676 --> 00:15:35,825 Great. 381 00:15:35,843 --> 00:15:37,326 Oh, and, uh, by the way, 382 00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:39,829 sadly, I can't go to the monster truck show this weekend. 383 00:15:39,847 --> 00:15:41,981 Carter needs me to work. 384 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,667 Oh, well, that's actually a relief, 385 00:15:44,686 --> 00:15:46,669 because I can't go, either. 386 00:15:46,688 --> 00:15:47,946 But it was your idea. 387 00:15:48,173 --> 00:15:49,522 Yeah. I know, but I do some volunteer work 388 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,175 for the police department and they have a new cold case 389 00:15:52,193 --> 00:15:54,118 -that they need me to look at. -Really? 390 00:15:54,270 --> 00:15:56,179 Yeah, yeah. They call me the Wolf down at the station 391 00:15:56,272 --> 00:15:57,997 'cause I always catch the sheep. 392 00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:03,019 -Uh, quick question, Max. -Yeah. 393 00:16:03,112 --> 00:16:05,129 What does "I could never date Kat" mean? 394 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,966 I mean, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, 395 00:16:08,193 --> 00:16:10,117 it's just, uh, it's an interesting choice of words. 396 00:16:10,253 --> 00:16:12,619 "I could never." Because, you know, technically, 397 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,956 uh, someone could do anything that they want to. 398 00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:17,700 Did Carter say something to you? 399 00:16:17,793 --> 00:16:19,385 No. 400 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,537 Neil Cat-rick Harris was up in the vents 401 00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:23,055 and he was wearing a GoPro, 402 00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:25,725 so I caught your entire conversation with Carter. 403 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,226 Kat, that's a little hard to believe. 404 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,562 -(cat meows) -Easier now. 405 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,823 Neil, go home. 406 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,977 I love you, Kat. 407 00:16:37,071 --> 00:16:38,888 There's never a dull moment when we hang out. 408 00:16:38,981 --> 00:16:40,481 You make everything fun. 409 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,074 Plus, you're crazy smart 410 00:16:42,227 --> 00:16:47,672 and a really generous person, but... 411 00:16:47,899 --> 00:16:49,915 I hate the word "but." 412 00:16:50,068 --> 00:16:52,326 I just see you as a friend. 413 00:16:52,495 --> 00:16:55,588 And-and considering my dating history, 414 00:16:55,757 --> 00:16:58,332 my friendships last a lot longer than my relationships, 415 00:16:58,426 --> 00:17:00,593 so that's actually a much better category to be in. 416 00:17:00,745 --> 00:17:05,005 Because I hope that we'll be friends forever. 417 00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:07,734 Then why'd you just cancel on me? 418 00:17:08,603 --> 00:17:10,319 I didn't want to lead you on. 419 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,197 I mean, is that what a real friend would do? 420 00:17:13,424 --> 00:17:15,107 Or-or would they have a-an honest 421 00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:17,785 and-and perhaps difficult talk? 422 00:17:18,687 --> 00:17:19,895 Because, you know, avoiding me 423 00:17:19,947 --> 00:17:22,331 is-is a sure way to ruin our friendship. 424 00:17:24,193 --> 00:17:25,526 (sighs) In that case, 425 00:17:25,694 --> 00:17:27,453 I would love to go to the monster truck show 426 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,339 with you this weekend, if the offer still stands. 427 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:35,553 (announcer voice): 'Cause we'll have a blast! 428 00:17:37,131 --> 00:17:38,872 Well, let me just see if I can, uh, 429 00:17:38,966 --> 00:17:40,966 reschedule that police work and, um, 430 00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,135 I'll get back to you. 431 00:17:43,304 --> 00:17:46,639 One could argue that was still pretty cool. 432 00:17:46,808 --> 00:17:48,066 Oh... 433 00:17:49,961 --> 00:17:53,738 I'd like to place a dinner order to go. 434 00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:55,406 Hey, guess what. 435 00:17:55,633 --> 00:17:57,316 Ooh, what's going on here? 436 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,984 Unfortunately, Twitter decided 437 00:17:59,153 --> 00:18:01,153 the Neil Cat-rick Harris thing was a PR stunt 438 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,139 rather than an attempt at a meaningful conversation, 439 00:18:03,232 --> 00:18:06,567 so they're calling for a boycott of the café on Saturday. 440 00:18:06,661 --> 00:18:08,160 PHIL: But do not worry. 441 00:18:08,329 --> 00:18:09,979 I'm gonna make this right for you, Kat. 442 00:18:10,072 --> 00:18:12,164 Randi is fixing to film my statement. 443 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,408 I'm gonna tell Lane and Marty and all our followers 444 00:18:14,502 --> 00:18:17,653 that I'm the reason we cannot make that cake. 445 00:18:17,822 --> 00:18:19,430 Phil, I can't let you do that. 446 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,991 Oh, hallelujah. 447 00:18:22,084 --> 00:18:25,511 Thank you so much. That's what I was hoping you'd say. 448 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,105 But what you are gonna do 449 00:18:27,332 --> 00:18:28,755 is bake that wedding cake for Lane and Marty. 450 00:18:28,850 --> 00:18:31,834 -But I don't... -No, listen. 451 00:18:31,927 --> 00:18:33,277 Look, I just saw Max, 452 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,429 and I thought it was gonna be so painful 453 00:18:35,523 --> 00:18:37,598 now that I know we'll only ever be friends. 454 00:18:37,692 --> 00:18:41,786 But when I left the Middle C, I felt amazing. 455 00:18:42,013 --> 00:18:43,788 Like I could really fly. 456 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,832 Like I had just been set free from something 457 00:18:46,017 --> 00:18:47,941 that had been holding me back and, Phil, 458 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,535 I want to set you free, too. 459 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,855 But even if I made that cake, it wouldn't taste right. 460 00:18:52,948 --> 00:18:54,690 I have to bake with love in my heart 461 00:18:54,783 --> 00:18:57,784 and my heart is broke plumb in two. 462 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,286 Well, Phil, you love me, 463 00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:00,863 'cause look what you were just about to do for me. 464 00:19:00,956 --> 00:19:02,882 And you love Randi a-and the café. 465 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,625 And all the cats. 466 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:08,629 And my mama. My seven brothers and sisters. 467 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,723 My baby ducks. 468 00:19:10,892 --> 00:19:13,300 You are surrounded by love, Phil. 469 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:16,729 I mean, the ducks thing is kind of weird, but we got you. 470 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,948 -Here. -(line ringing) 471 00:19:21,903 --> 00:19:23,310 Hello? 472 00:19:23,404 --> 00:19:24,328 Hello, Lane? 473 00:19:25,406 --> 00:19:27,890 This is the baker from Kat's Cat Café. 474 00:19:27,983 --> 00:19:30,059 I would be honored to bake your wedding cake 475 00:19:30,228 --> 00:19:33,671 for you and your soon-to-be husband. 476 00:19:33,898 --> 00:19:36,465 What'd I tell you? Dream team. 477 00:19:41,239 --> 00:19:43,072 God, you look beautiful tonight. 478 00:19:43,165 --> 00:19:45,391 -I know. -(chuckles) 479 00:19:46,427 --> 00:19:47,685 Come here, you. 480 00:19:47,912 --> 00:19:49,979 -(screams) -(grunts) 481 00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:53,065 What the...? 482 00:19:58,347 --> 00:20:00,180 ♪ 483 00:20:00,274 --> 00:20:02,182 ♪ I want to say hello to the world ♪ 484 00:20:02,276 --> 00:20:03,442 (applause, whooping) 485 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,278 ♪ And it feels so good... ♪ 486 00:20:06,431 --> 00:20:08,280 ♪ Wave your hands and say ♪ 487 00:20:08,433 --> 00:20:10,541 ♪ Hello to the world ♪ 488 00:20:10,693 --> 00:20:14,361 ♪ Do the things you always wish you would ♪ 489 00:20:14,455 --> 00:20:18,791 ♪ Wave your hands and say hello to the world ♪ 490 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,718 ♪ ♪ 491 00:20:20,869 --> 00:20:22,778 ♪ Hello to the world ♪ 492 00:20:22,871 --> 00:20:24,705 -♪ Feels so ♪ -♪ Feels so good ♪ 493 00:20:24,799 --> 00:20:25,547 ♪ Feels so ♪ 494 00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:30,803 ♪ Do the things you always wish you would ♪ 495 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:34,065 ♪ Wave your hands and say hello to the world. ♪ 496 00:20:34,216 --> 00:20:35,958 Captioning sponsored by WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 497 00:20:36,051 --> 00:20:38,361 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org