1
00:00:03,912 --> 00:00:06,130
(snoring)
2
00:00:08,992 --> 00:00:11,927
Oh, hello.
3
00:00:13,589 --> 00:00:15,764
I must have overslept.
4
00:00:17,426 --> 00:00:19,685
Phil, Randi and I
had a really wild time
5
00:00:19,912 --> 00:00:21,336
at the café last night.
6
00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:22,504
And our next cat looking
7
00:00:22,598 --> 00:00:25,932
for her forever home
is Claw-dia Sniffer.
8
00:00:26,085 --> 00:00:27,768
What she lacks in hair,
she makes up for
9
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,770
with her purr-fect complexion.
10
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:33,240
Her secret?
She never stops grooming.
11
00:00:34,684 --> 00:00:37,611
Randi has built up
quite a social media following
12
00:00:37,763 --> 00:00:39,187
by livestreaming our events.
13
00:00:39,281 --> 00:00:41,189
She even put a GoPro camera
on Meghan Meow-kel
14
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,859
so people online
can watch what she does all day.
15
00:00:45,028 --> 00:00:46,211
What is Meghan doing now?
16
00:00:46,363 --> 00:00:49,965
Still sitting on her ass
like the princess she is.
17
00:00:51,627 --> 00:00:53,052
So exciting.
18
00:00:53,279 --> 00:00:55,279
Doing what you love
with people you love
19
00:00:55,372 --> 00:00:57,038
is a business owner's dream.
20
00:00:57,132 --> 00:00:59,616
And Phil, Randi and I--
we're kind of a dream team.
21
00:00:59,709 --> 00:01:00,951
Speaking of dreams,
22
00:01:01,044 --> 00:01:03,896
I've been having a recurring one
about Max.
23
00:01:05,749 --> 00:01:07,733
You want a banana split?
24
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,810
Where'd you get that?
25
00:01:09,962 --> 00:01:12,571
From that fly-thru
ice cream stand.
26
00:01:12,722 --> 00:01:14,722
You know what I'm thinking?
27
00:01:14,817 --> 00:01:17,725
That we should keep our eyes
peeled for a flying churro cart?
28
00:01:17,861 --> 00:01:20,412
That you're beautiful
in the moonlight.
29
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,492
BOTH:
Oh!
30
00:01:25,661 --> 00:01:28,995
And that's the real reason
I overslept.
31
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,298
And now, on with our show.
32
00:01:33,335 --> 00:01:35,427
♪
33
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,433
(sing-songy):
Guess what I had again.
34
00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:43,343
I told you when I took this job,
35
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,253
there are three things I hate--
building IKEA furniture,
36
00:01:45,347 --> 00:01:48,107
picking up friends from
the airport and guessing games.
37
00:01:48,292 --> 00:01:51,168
It's true. She even put it
on her application.
38
00:01:51,337 --> 00:01:53,428
I had the flying dream
about Max again.
39
00:01:53,522 --> 00:01:56,782
It was so wonderfully real,
to finally touch a cloud,
40
00:01:57,009 --> 00:01:59,618
take in a bird's-eye view
of the city, and wonder,
41
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:03,347
if I pooped on someone,
would they think it was lucky?
42
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,106
Probably not.
43
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,200
So did you kiss him?
44
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,294
I don't dream kiss-and-tell.
45
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,296
No.
46
00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:14,541
Here's an idea. Why don't you
just tell Max about the dream?
47
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,360
Get his reaction.
48
00:02:16,378 --> 00:02:18,137
Gauge whether he wants
to try to kiss you in real life.
49
00:02:18,364 --> 00:02:20,139
He's still hung up
on his ex-girlfriend Brigitte.
50
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,640
Well, she lives in France,
and his penis is here.
51
00:02:21,867 --> 00:02:23,367
That's all I'm saying.
52
00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:26,370
Randi, please.
There are kittens in here.
53
00:02:26,538 --> 00:02:28,313
And to be honest,
54
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:31,132
the real joy of a crush is
that it's one-sided.
55
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,710
It's all mine to do with
as I wish,
56
00:02:33,803 --> 00:02:36,062
without his pesky feelings
getting in the way.
57
00:02:36,231 --> 00:02:37,381
So you're gonna do nothing
58
00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:38,882
because you're afraid
he'll reject you?
59
00:02:39,051 --> 00:02:41,309
-There's that, too.
-Mm.
60
00:02:41,403 --> 00:02:42,477
Excuse me.
61
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,479
Hello. How can I help you,
kind patron?
62
00:02:44,648 --> 00:02:46,072
(Southern accent):
This lemon chiffon cake
is so good,
63
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,407
it made me want
to call my daddy,
64
00:02:47,559 --> 00:02:49,835
and I haven't talked
to him in 15 years.
65
00:02:50,062 --> 00:02:51,336
I know, it's pretty great,
right?
66
00:02:51,563 --> 00:02:53,488
And I can brag
'cause I didn't make it.
67
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,400
But I was smart enough to hire
the guy who did, so, yay me.
68
00:02:56,493 --> 00:03:00,012
Well, I'm getting married soon,
and I was wondering
69
00:03:00,239 --> 00:03:01,996
if you'd be able
to make it into a wedding cake.
70
00:03:02,165 --> 00:03:04,165
Maybe to serve about 60 people?
71
00:03:04,259 --> 00:03:06,426
Um, I'll have to check
with our baker,
72
00:03:06,578 --> 00:03:08,670
but I'm pretty sure
he'll be on board.
73
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,022
Here's all my info.
74
00:03:10,249 --> 00:03:12,557
Look forward to your baker
giving me a jingle.
75
00:03:12,784 --> 00:03:15,176
All right, we'll be in touch.
Have a Kitty-Rific Day.
76
00:03:15,270 --> 00:03:16,436
Thank you.
77
00:03:16,588 --> 00:03:18,104
Yes!
78
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:19,847
It starts with one wedding cake,
79
00:03:19,942 --> 00:03:21,758
and pretty soon,
we're the official pastry bakers
80
00:03:21,851 --> 00:03:25,095
for the Kentucky Derby and royal
weddings all across the globe.
81
00:03:25,188 --> 00:03:26,914
You really can dream, can't you?
82
00:03:28,191 --> 00:03:29,783
-I'm back.
-KAT: Oh, Phil,
83
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,043
I have huge news.
84
00:03:31,194 --> 00:03:33,069
You finally kissed Max
in your dream.
85
00:03:33,121 --> 00:03:35,214
Less huge. You just missed
a customer who asked
86
00:03:35,365 --> 00:03:37,699
if you could make your lemon
chiffon cake for his wedding.
87
00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:39,776
Are you squeezing my piping bag?
88
00:03:39,869 --> 00:03:41,127
Somebody wants to eat my cake
89
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,447
as an extension of their love?
90
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:47,117
Does the phrase "eat my cake"
sound dirty to anyone else?
91
00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:50,971
Did you not just hear,
"squeezing my piping bag"?
92
00:03:51,139 --> 00:03:52,639
Here's his information.
93
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,400
As soon as we calculate
the price for the larger cake,
94
00:03:55,552 --> 00:03:56,810
I'll call and confirm.
95
00:03:56,979 --> 00:03:59,980
Get ready for the wedding cake
of your life!
96
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,241
"Lane Gaffney"?
97
00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:03,575
Oh, no.
98
00:04:03,727 --> 00:04:04,985
Are you okay, Phil?
99
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,913
Yeah, you look pale.
I mean, paler than usual.
100
00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:11,733
Lane Gaffney is the name
of the boy Marty left me for.
101
00:04:11,827 --> 00:04:16,404
Well, I-I'm sure it's got
to be a different Lane Gaffney.
102
00:04:16,498 --> 00:04:19,424
I bet
that he wrote his name wrong,
103
00:04:19,651 --> 00:04:21,318
because
when he introduced himself,
104
00:04:21,336 --> 00:04:23,762
he said his name was
"Waynes Taffney."
105
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,581
You know, when gay marriage
was made legal,
106
00:04:26,675 --> 00:04:28,416
Marty said it was a conspiracy
107
00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:31,344
by the wedding industry
to get our gay dollars.
108
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,998
But in reality, I guess
he just didn't want to marry me.
109
00:04:35,091 --> 00:04:36,108
RANDI:
Well, doesn't Marty's boyfriend
110
00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:37,943
know that you work here?
I think it's kind of
111
00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:40,170
cruel for him to ask you
to make his cake.
112
00:04:40,188 --> 00:04:42,263
See, "make his cake"
also sounds dirty to me.
113
00:04:42,357 --> 00:04:45,099
Marty suggested
after the breakup
114
00:04:45,193 --> 00:04:47,101
that we not communicate
115
00:04:47,270 --> 00:04:50,772
because he couldn't understand
me through my blubbering.
116
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,609
Well, I-I'm...
I'm just gonna call Lane...
117
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,295
I mean Waynes, and tell him
118
00:04:56,446 --> 00:05:00,190
that we cannot make that cake
because of an egg shortage.
119
00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:01,967
Due to a chicken shortage.
120
00:05:02,194 --> 00:05:04,285
And we just don't know
which came first.
121
00:05:04,379 --> 00:05:06,196
Yeah, you shouldn't have
to make your ex's cake.
122
00:05:06,289 --> 00:05:08,456
You've given him enough
of your frosting.
123
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,867
Okay, that is just filthy.
124
00:05:11,795 --> 00:05:13,386
You want to help me drink
this expired bourbon?
125
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,556
-Does bourbon expire?
-Do you want to help me or not?
126
00:05:16,725 --> 00:05:18,800
I'm in, even though
bourbon gives me weird dreams.
127
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,302
Couldn't be any weirder
than the dream I keep having.
128
00:05:22,305 --> 00:05:24,564
If he says
it's about us flying together,
129
00:05:24,733 --> 00:05:26,399
I'm going to rip my shirt off
right now.
130
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,569
Funny. I've been having
crazy dreams, too.
131
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,978
What's yours about?
132
00:05:31,073 --> 00:05:33,723
Okay, let's see.
I'm in a horse-drawn carriage.
133
00:05:33,892 --> 00:05:35,500
Okay, I guess
I'm leaving this on.
134
00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:37,894
Were you driving,
or was someone else driving it?
135
00:05:37,987 --> 00:05:39,746
I was driving it,
and wearing medieval armor.
136
00:05:39,898 --> 00:05:41,823
And then, suddenly,
I get a flat.
137
00:05:41,917 --> 00:05:43,157
But when I get out
to take a look at it,
138
00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:44,901
instead of normal
carriage wheels,
139
00:05:44,994 --> 00:05:46,570
I have big monster-truck tires.
140
00:05:46,663 --> 00:05:48,905
Monster-truck tires
on a horse-drawn carriage.
141
00:05:49,074 --> 00:05:50,331
Lot of themes, lot of themes.
142
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,166
Yeah. And when I try
to change the tire,
143
00:05:52,335 --> 00:05:53,685
it turns into a giant pizza.
144
00:05:53,912 --> 00:05:57,022
But just as I'm about
to take a bite... I wake up.
145
00:05:57,249 --> 00:05:58,765
Oh, that's frustrating.
146
00:05:58,917 --> 00:06:00,100
I've had it three nights
in a row.
147
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:01,434
So what's it trying
to tell me?
148
00:06:01,587 --> 00:06:05,697
Okay, you want
to go back in time
149
00:06:05,924 --> 00:06:08,700
when you felt protected,
ergo the armor,
150
00:06:08,927 --> 00:06:11,853
and suckle at the teat of pizza.
151
00:06:12,021 --> 00:06:13,947
-Well, I do love pizza.
-(laughs)
152
00:06:14,099 --> 00:06:16,449
-What's yours about?
-Mm.
153
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,118
Hmm?
154
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:20,545
Your crazy dream--
what's it about?
155
00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:25,291
Well, funnily enough, Max,
you are featured in it.
156
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:27,961
-Really?
-Yup. It's a flying dream.
157
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,554
-I love those.
-Yeah, me, too.
158
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,890
We're flying over Louisville,
sharing a banana split...
159
00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:33,633
I'm more of a savory guy,
but go on.
160
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,969
And we're holding hands so
that we don't lose each other.
161
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,454
And then we decide
to see if we can--
162
00:06:37,547 --> 00:06:38,471
here goes nothing--
163
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,565
kiss in the air while flying.
164
00:06:40,717 --> 00:06:42,142
-And can we?
-We cannot.
165
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:44,628
-Ah.
-The wind keeps
pushing us apart.
166
00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:46,630
It's such a hater.
167
00:06:46,723 --> 00:06:48,573
Anyway, I think
that's why it's recurring,
168
00:06:48,725 --> 00:06:49,966
because there's no closure.
169
00:06:50,135 --> 00:06:51,410
You know, same for you.
170
00:06:51,637 --> 00:06:55,488
I never eat the pizza so I keep
dreaming about the pizza.
171
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,457
Exactly.
172
00:07:01,496 --> 00:07:03,496
There. Maybe now
you can get back to dreaming
173
00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:06,925
about something more fun
than boring old me.
174
00:07:08,503 --> 00:07:12,431
Expired bourbon...
is the best bourbon.
175
00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:20,087
Good morning. I hope
you're enjoying your coffee
176
00:07:20,182 --> 00:07:23,166
and that
we're meeting your expectations.
177
00:07:23,185 --> 00:07:25,335
-Guess what?
-I told you when
I took this job,
178
00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:27,504
there are three things I hate--
building IKEA furniture...
179
00:07:27,522 --> 00:07:30,173
I told Max about my dream,
and he kissed me.
180
00:07:30,192 --> 00:07:32,358
(gasps)
A long kiss or a short kiss?
181
00:07:32,511 --> 00:07:35,695
Hard to tell
because time stood still.
182
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:36,955
What do you think it means?
183
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,606
PHIL:
It means be careful.
184
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,960
Love will put rocks
in your pockets
185
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,963
and lure you
to the deep end of the creek.
186
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,875
Katharine...
you must feel terrible.
187
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,135
About what?
188
00:07:50,362 --> 00:07:52,304
Well, I was drinking
my morning coffee
189
00:07:52,455 --> 00:07:54,956
and reading your Yelp reviews,
as I do every morning.
190
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:58,201
I had no idea.
That's kind of sweet.
191
00:07:58,294 --> 00:08:01,538
And I saw you'd gotten
your first one-star review.
192
00:08:01,631 --> 00:08:03,982
Ooh, if that's because
I spelled that guy's name wrong
193
00:08:04,209 --> 00:08:06,133
on his cup, I'm gonna fire back.
194
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:09,229
If it sounds like an "F," it
should be spelled with an "F."
195
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,881
No, no, it was because you're...
196
00:08:11,975 --> 00:08:13,717
homophobic.
197
00:08:13,885 --> 00:08:15,476
Huh?
198
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,311
I found the review.
199
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:18,388
(yelps)
200
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,665
Did you just yelp
while reading Yelp? Wait.
201
00:08:20,892 --> 00:08:23,059
Is that why they call it that?
202
00:08:23,228 --> 00:08:25,337
"The pastries
at Kat's Cat Café are wonderful,
203
00:08:25,564 --> 00:08:27,172
"but they are not
a welcoming business.
204
00:08:27,399 --> 00:08:29,674
"I discovered this after
they refused to bake a cake
205
00:08:29,901 --> 00:08:32,736
for my wedding
because I'm gay. Lane G."
206
00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:36,497
-What the...?!
-He's evil!
207
00:08:36,591 --> 00:08:39,017
The guy Phil's ex is marrying
asked
208
00:08:39,244 --> 00:08:40,835
if we would bake
their wedding cake.
209
00:08:41,004 --> 00:08:42,595
Oh, well,
that's certainly awkward.
210
00:08:42,748 --> 00:08:45,248
Exactly. So, I told him
we couldn't do it.
211
00:08:45,341 --> 00:08:48,101
-This is all my fault.
-KAT: No, it's not.
212
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,604
I mean, who would bake a cake
for their ex's wedding
213
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,439
and not put a laxative in it?
214
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,018
Damn. A bunch of people
shared that review on Insta,
215
00:08:57,186 --> 00:08:59,020
and we've already lost
200 followers.
216
00:08:59,114 --> 00:09:02,040
We had 200 followers?! Yes!
217
00:09:02,267 --> 00:09:04,859
Kat, I don't want you
to lose customers.
218
00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:06,211
Then you need to call Lane back
219
00:09:06,438 --> 00:09:07,862
and tell him
to take that review down
220
00:09:08,031 --> 00:09:09,196
and explain to him
the real reason
221
00:09:09,365 --> 00:09:11,124
we're not baking that cake.
222
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,126
But if I do that, then Marty
will know, while he's moved on,
223
00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:16,137
I'm in the same broken place.
224
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,451
Look, maybe we're overreacting.
225
00:09:21,544 --> 00:09:23,803
You know, we know in our hearts
that we weren't discriminating.
226
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,638
Well, you were discriminating.
227
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,808
Not because he's gay.
Because he's a homewrecker.
228
00:09:28,977 --> 00:09:31,736
Even so, maybe,
229
00:09:31,888 --> 00:09:34,798
instead of defending ourselves
against this one situation,
230
00:09:34,891 --> 00:09:37,634
we need to show people that...
that we welcome everyone.
231
00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:40,320
Ooh, how about I showcase
Neil Cat-rick Harris
232
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,413
as our cat of the month?
233
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:42,972
Yes, do that.
234
00:09:43,141 --> 00:09:44,565
And I can go pick up
some rainbow balloons
235
00:09:44,659 --> 00:09:47,644
so everybody will know that this
is a place where love grows.
236
00:09:47,662 --> 00:09:49,921
Oh.
237
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,318
If everyone can't see
how accepting we are,
238
00:09:55,411 --> 00:09:57,429
they can get the heck out!
239
00:09:57,598 --> 00:10:00,432
Well, I see you've gone
from sad to bitter.
240
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,083
I like this side more.
241
00:10:02,177 --> 00:10:05,770
And I see you've put the GoPro
on Neil Cat-rick Harris.
242
00:10:05,997 --> 00:10:07,588
Yup. I'm calling it
"Gay Cat Cam"
243
00:10:07,682 --> 00:10:09,666
so people can see
how inclusive we are.
244
00:10:09,684 --> 00:10:12,110
Plus, we can see where the hell
Neil Cat-rick goes all day.
245
00:10:12,337 --> 00:10:14,112
Have you noticed
he kind of disappears?
246
00:10:14,339 --> 00:10:16,448
Maybe he got left
by some tomcat,
247
00:10:16,599 --> 00:10:19,934
and he goes to a safe space
to lick his wounds.
248
00:10:20,028 --> 00:10:21,620
If by "wounds,"
you mean "butt,"
249
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:22,621
you're probably right.
250
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,788
(chuckles)
251
00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:26,416
Okay, let's see where he goes.
252
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,118
Hello, my liege.
253
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,712
Hey. Don't tell me that's
the princess hat you bought
254
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,714
when we went to the Highland
Ren Fair senior year.
255
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,142
When you challenged that wizard
to a turkey leg eating contest
256
00:10:44,369 --> 00:10:45,702
and then you threw up in my car?
257
00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:47,203
The very same.
258
00:10:47,372 --> 00:10:48,313
And pizza?
259
00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:50,039
I did not have my dream
last night,
260
00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:51,632
and I slept like a baby.
261
00:10:51,726 --> 00:10:54,043
I also dreamt about babies.
They looked just like him,
262
00:10:54,137 --> 00:10:55,728
stubble and everything.
It was weird.
263
00:10:56,806 --> 00:10:59,807
By making my dream come true,
you broke the cycle.
264
00:10:59,901 --> 00:11:01,401
So I thought
I would do the same for you.
265
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,977
Henceforth,
266
00:11:03,071 --> 00:11:04,979
-your tire.
-Aw, man.
267
00:11:05,073 --> 00:11:06,723
Mikey's Pizza.
Thank you.
268
00:11:06,816 --> 00:11:07,999
CARTER:
Yeah. Thanks, Kat.
269
00:11:08,226 --> 00:11:09,742
I love it when people bring food
from other places
270
00:11:09,895 --> 00:11:12,061
into my restaurant.
271
00:11:12,155 --> 00:11:13,487
Well, don't be too mad,
'cause I'm hoping
272
00:11:13,581 --> 00:11:15,398
I can request a favor
from you both.
273
00:11:15,567 --> 00:11:17,734
A favor from both of us
but the pizza's for him?
274
00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:19,160
Not very well-played, Kat.
275
00:11:19,254 --> 00:11:21,905
Not very well-played.
276
00:11:21,998 --> 00:11:23,348
Please?
277
00:11:23,575 --> 00:11:26,167
The guy Phil's ex is marrying
left a brutal Yelp review
278
00:11:26,261 --> 00:11:27,835
because we wouldn't bake
his wedding cake.
279
00:11:27,929 --> 00:11:29,245
So I was hoping you both
280
00:11:29,414 --> 00:11:31,523
could write glowing reviews
to drown his out.
281
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:34,934
And bonus points if you pretend
to be a gay couple.
282
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,436
Wouldn't be the first time.
283
00:11:36,588 --> 00:11:39,513
Got us backstage
at the Elton John concert.
284
00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:41,282
But I get half that pizza.
285
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,776
Yeah, we'll write a review.
286
00:11:43,929 --> 00:11:45,686
And this was so nice of you.
287
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,113
Oh, wait, there's more.
288
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,282
In order to continue making
your dreams come true,
289
00:11:49,492 --> 00:11:50,542
I got us...
290
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,194
two tickets to the monster truck
show Saturday!
291
00:11:53,288 --> 00:11:55,029
No way. (announcer voice):
"This Saturday,
292
00:11:55,198 --> 00:11:58,441
Saturday, Saturday,
prepare to be annihilated!"
293
00:11:58,534 --> 00:11:59,718
Is that a yes?
294
00:11:59,869 --> 00:12:01,869
"I have to ask Carter,
Carter, Carter
295
00:12:01,963 --> 00:12:05,390
for the night off.
I'll let you know ASAP!"
296
00:12:05,541 --> 00:12:07,308
Ow. That hurts my throat.
297
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,786
The guy that does
those commercials
298
00:12:09,879 --> 00:12:10,970
must have no larynx left.
299
00:12:11,139 --> 00:12:13,139
Okeydoke.
Well, I shall await
300
00:12:13,308 --> 00:12:14,733
your response by carrier pigeon.
301
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,777
I bid you adieu.
302
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,314
Uh, by "carrier pigeon,"
I just mean "text."
303
00:12:21,483 --> 00:12:23,316
You can just shoot me a text.
Okay.
304
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,634
Huzzah!
305
00:12:24,803 --> 00:12:27,487
Hey, is it cool
if I take Saturday night off?
306
00:12:27,639 --> 00:12:29,080
Kat asked me to the monster
truck show that night.
307
00:12:29,232 --> 00:12:31,808
Oh. Well, if you got plans
with your girlfriend,
308
00:12:31,826 --> 00:12:33,418
I can try and make that happen.
309
00:12:33,645 --> 00:12:35,328
She's not my girlfriend.
310
00:12:35,497 --> 00:12:37,213
Does she know that?
311
00:12:39,317 --> 00:12:41,985
Ooh, nice balloons.
I feel so welcome here.
312
00:12:42,003 --> 00:12:43,577
What are y'all doing?
313
00:12:43,671 --> 00:12:45,079
Watching Neil Cat-rick Harris.
314
00:12:45,173 --> 00:12:47,657
He got into the air vent
and he's wandering around.
315
00:12:47,675 --> 00:12:49,100
Well, it's clearly not
his first time up there.
316
00:12:49,327 --> 00:12:52,604
There's his plush sushi toy,
his catnip hedgehog.
317
00:12:52,831 --> 00:12:54,439
Ooh, and my lucky scrunchie.
318
00:12:54,666 --> 00:12:56,015
Ooh, he's right over
the Middle C.
319
00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:57,500
I can see Max and Carter
through the vent.
320
00:12:57,519 --> 00:12:59,944
Ooh, turn up the volume.
To be a fly on the wall.
321
00:13:00,171 --> 00:13:01,929
-Or a cat in the vent,
as they say.
-(laughter)
322
00:13:02,023 --> 00:13:03,597
CARTER:
She brought you a pizza.
323
00:13:03,766 --> 00:13:05,842
The last girl that brought me
a pizza I married.
324
00:13:05,935 --> 00:13:07,285
Plus, what was all that
325
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,103
"You helped me with my dream"
business?
326
00:13:09,197 --> 00:13:11,956
Oh, she told me about this dream
where we almost kissed,
327
00:13:12,183 --> 00:13:16,628
so, I don't know, it was late,
and I just kind of kissed her.
328
00:13:16,855 --> 00:13:17,962
On the lips?
329
00:13:18,189 --> 00:13:19,372
It was a peck.
330
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:22,467
Last girl I pecked
I put a baby inside.
331
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:25,119
I may have picked up
a bad habit in Europe.
332
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,696
Everybody kisses
everybody there.
333
00:13:26,789 --> 00:13:29,532
My landlady kissed me
for paying my rent on time.
334
00:13:29,625 --> 00:13:30,867
With tongue.
335
00:13:31,036 --> 00:13:32,459
Well, welcome to America, buddy.
336
00:13:32,628 --> 00:13:34,203
Unless you plan on giving
your friend some benefits,
337
00:13:34,297 --> 00:13:35,796
you better check yourself.
338
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:38,057
I'm telling you, girlfriend
wants to be your girlfriend.
339
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,967
Oh, no.
We've been friends forever.
340
00:13:40,103 --> 00:13:42,320
I could never date Kat.
341
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,975
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
342
00:13:48,069 --> 00:13:50,954
Maybe the hat was a bit much.
343
00:13:58,654 --> 00:14:01,798
KAT:
I'll make this quick
and painless.
344
00:14:08,089 --> 00:14:10,423
His memory will live on
in our margaritas.
345
00:14:11,593 --> 00:14:13,667
Marty and Max should
both be shot out of a cannon
346
00:14:13,761 --> 00:14:15,912
and I'll light the wick.
347
00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:18,005
At least you had something
real with Marty.
348
00:14:18,099 --> 00:14:19,640
The only romance
I've ever had with Max
349
00:14:19,751 --> 00:14:22,509
was the one in my mind,
and now I don't even have that.
350
00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:24,320
Well, you can still
fantasize about him.
351
00:14:26,349 --> 00:14:28,366
I'm sorry,
did you say something?
352
00:14:28,593 --> 00:14:30,109
Nope.
353
00:14:30,261 --> 00:14:31,202
Oh.
354
00:14:33,781 --> 00:14:36,165
Actually, I don't think I can.
355
00:14:37,026 --> 00:14:38,692
What are you doing?
356
00:14:38,861 --> 00:14:40,361
(chuckles):
Ooh, sorry.
357
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,881
Daniel's in Lexington for work
and he wanted a photo.
358
00:14:43,032 --> 00:14:44,239
Things have been going
really great with us,
359
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:45,699
but I didn't want
to make a big to-do
360
00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:48,177
because, well, look at y'all.
361
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,538
Well, I'm happy for you.
362
00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:53,207
I'm just trying to figure out
how to be around Max
363
00:14:53,301 --> 00:14:55,226
and keep what I overheard
a secret.
364
00:14:55,378 --> 00:14:59,639
All you have to do is set your
internal thermostat on ice cold.
365
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,233
That's what my mama did
to our neighbor lady
366
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:05,645
after she called the cops
for a wellness check
367
00:15:05,813 --> 00:15:08,072
'cause us kids
were running around the yard
368
00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:10,241
without our shirts on.
369
00:15:10,393 --> 00:15:12,076
Wait, someone called the cops
on you for that?
370
00:15:12,303 --> 00:15:14,412
Mm. But it might've been
'cause one of my sisters
371
00:15:14,639 --> 00:15:16,372
was 22 at the time.
372
00:15:20,328 --> 00:15:22,420
Hey. Just here
for my dinner order.
373
00:15:22,647 --> 00:15:24,664
Yep. Right here.
374
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,073
-All ready for you.
-Cool.
375
00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:27,741
Cool beans.
Yeah, Randi, Phil and I
376
00:15:27,835 --> 00:15:29,152
are having a threesome tonight.
377
00:15:29,170 --> 00:15:31,320
That's what I call
three people hanging out.
378
00:15:31,339 --> 00:15:33,097
I'm trying to take words
with sexual connotation
379
00:15:33,324 --> 00:15:34,657
and make them clean again.
380
00:15:34,676 --> 00:15:35,825
Great.
381
00:15:35,843 --> 00:15:37,326
Oh, and, uh, by the way,
382
00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:39,829
sadly, I can't go to the
monster truck show this weekend.
383
00:15:39,847 --> 00:15:41,981
Carter needs me to work.
384
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,667
Oh, well,
that's actually a relief,
385
00:15:44,686 --> 00:15:46,669
because I can't go, either.
386
00:15:46,688 --> 00:15:47,946
But it was your idea.
387
00:15:48,173 --> 00:15:49,522
Yeah. I know,
but I do some volunteer work
388
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,175
for the police department
and they have a new cold case
389
00:15:52,193 --> 00:15:54,118
-that they need me to look at.
-Really?
390
00:15:54,270 --> 00:15:56,179
Yeah, yeah. They call me
the Wolf down at the station
391
00:15:56,272 --> 00:15:57,997
'cause I always catch the sheep.
392
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:03,019
-Uh, quick question, Max.
-Yeah.
393
00:16:03,112 --> 00:16:05,129
What does
"I could never date Kat" mean?
394
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,966
I mean, I don't mean
to make you uncomfortable,
395
00:16:08,193 --> 00:16:10,117
it's just, uh, it's
an interesting choice of words.
396
00:16:10,253 --> 00:16:12,619
"I could never."
Because, you know, technically,
397
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,956
uh, someone could do
anything that they want to.
398
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:17,700
Did Carter say something to you?
399
00:16:17,793 --> 00:16:19,385
No.
400
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,537
Neil Cat-rick Harris
was up in the vents
401
00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:23,055
and he was wearing a GoPro,
402
00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:25,725
so I caught your entire
conversation with Carter.
403
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,226
Kat, that's a little hard
to believe.
404
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,562
-(cat meows)
-Easier now.
405
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,823
Neil, go home.
406
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,977
I love you, Kat.
407
00:16:37,071 --> 00:16:38,888
There's never a dull moment
when we hang out.
408
00:16:38,981 --> 00:16:40,481
You make everything fun.
409
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,074
Plus, you're crazy smart
410
00:16:42,227 --> 00:16:47,672
and a really generous person,
but...
411
00:16:47,899 --> 00:16:49,915
I hate the word "but."
412
00:16:50,068 --> 00:16:52,326
I just see you as a friend.
413
00:16:52,495 --> 00:16:55,588
And-and considering
my dating history,
414
00:16:55,757 --> 00:16:58,332
my friendships last a lot longer
than my relationships,
415
00:16:58,426 --> 00:17:00,593
so that's actually a much
better category to be in.
416
00:17:00,745 --> 00:17:05,005
Because I hope
that we'll be friends forever.
417
00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:07,734
Then why'd you just
cancel on me?
418
00:17:08,603 --> 00:17:10,319
I didn't want to lead you on.
419
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,197
I mean, is that what
a real friend would do?
420
00:17:13,424 --> 00:17:15,107
Or-or would
they have a-an honest
421
00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:17,785
and-and perhaps difficult talk?
422
00:17:18,687 --> 00:17:19,895
Because, you know, avoiding me
423
00:17:19,947 --> 00:17:22,331
is-is a sure way
to ruin our friendship.
424
00:17:24,193 --> 00:17:25,526
(sighs)
In that case,
425
00:17:25,694 --> 00:17:27,453
I would love to go
to the monster truck show
426
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,339
with you this weekend,
if the offer still stands.
427
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:35,553
(announcer voice):
'Cause we'll have a blast!
428
00:17:37,131 --> 00:17:38,872
Well, let me just see
if I can, uh,
429
00:17:38,966 --> 00:17:40,966
reschedule that police work
and, um,
430
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,135
I'll get back to you.
431
00:17:43,304 --> 00:17:46,639
One could argue
that was still pretty cool.
432
00:17:46,808 --> 00:17:48,066
Oh...
433
00:17:49,961 --> 00:17:53,738
I'd like to place
a dinner order to go.
434
00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:55,406
Hey, guess what.
435
00:17:55,633 --> 00:17:57,316
Ooh, what's going on here?
436
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,984
Unfortunately, Twitter decided
437
00:17:59,153 --> 00:18:01,153
the Neil Cat-rick Harris thing
was a PR stunt
438
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,139
rather than an attempt
at a meaningful conversation,
439
00:18:03,232 --> 00:18:06,567
so they're calling for a boycott
of the café on Saturday.
440
00:18:06,661 --> 00:18:08,160
PHIL:
But do not worry.
441
00:18:08,329 --> 00:18:09,979
I'm gonna make this right
for you, Kat.
442
00:18:10,072 --> 00:18:12,164
Randi is fixing
to film my statement.
443
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,408
I'm gonna tell Lane and Marty
and all our followers
444
00:18:14,502 --> 00:18:17,653
that I'm the reason
we cannot make that cake.
445
00:18:17,822 --> 00:18:19,430
Phil, I can't let you do that.
446
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,991
Oh, hallelujah.
447
00:18:22,084 --> 00:18:25,511
Thank you so much. That's what
I was hoping you'd say.
448
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,105
But what you are gonna do
449
00:18:27,332 --> 00:18:28,755
is bake that wedding cake
for Lane and Marty.
450
00:18:28,850 --> 00:18:31,834
-But I don't...
-No, listen.
451
00:18:31,927 --> 00:18:33,277
Look, I just saw Max,
452
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,429
and I thought
it was gonna be so painful
453
00:18:35,523 --> 00:18:37,598
now that I know
we'll only ever be friends.
454
00:18:37,692 --> 00:18:41,786
But when I left the Middle C,
I felt amazing.
455
00:18:42,013 --> 00:18:43,788
Like I could really fly.
456
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,832
Like I had just been set free
from something
457
00:18:46,017 --> 00:18:47,941
that had been holding me back
and, Phil,
458
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,535
I want to set you free, too.
459
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,855
But even if I made that cake,
it wouldn't taste right.
460
00:18:52,948 --> 00:18:54,690
I have to bake
with love in my heart
461
00:18:54,783 --> 00:18:57,784
and my heart is broke
plumb in two.
462
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,286
Well, Phil, you love me,
463
00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:00,863
'cause look what you were
just about to do for me.
464
00:19:00,956 --> 00:19:02,882
And you love Randi
a-and the café.
465
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,625
And all the cats.
466
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:08,629
And my mama.
My seven brothers and sisters.
467
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,723
My baby ducks.
468
00:19:10,892 --> 00:19:13,300
You are surrounded
by love, Phil.
469
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:16,729
I mean, the ducks thing is
kind of weird, but we got you.
470
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,948
-Here.
-(line ringing)
471
00:19:21,903 --> 00:19:23,310
Hello?
472
00:19:23,404 --> 00:19:24,328
Hello, Lane?
473
00:19:25,406 --> 00:19:27,890
This is the baker
from Kat's Cat Café.
474
00:19:27,983 --> 00:19:30,059
I would be honored
to bake your wedding cake
475
00:19:30,228 --> 00:19:33,671
for you
and your soon-to-be husband.
476
00:19:33,898 --> 00:19:36,465
What'd I tell you? Dream team.
477
00:19:41,239 --> 00:19:43,072
God, you look beautiful tonight.
478
00:19:43,165 --> 00:19:45,391
-I know.
-(chuckles)
479
00:19:46,427 --> 00:19:47,685
Come here, you.
480
00:19:47,912 --> 00:19:49,979
-(screams)
-(grunts)
481
00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:53,065
What the...?
482
00:19:58,347 --> 00:20:00,180
♪
483
00:20:00,274 --> 00:20:02,182
♪ I want to say hello
to the world ♪
484
00:20:02,276 --> 00:20:03,442
(applause, whooping)
485
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,278
♪ And it feels so good... ♪
486
00:20:06,431 --> 00:20:08,280
♪ Wave your hands and say ♪
487
00:20:08,433 --> 00:20:10,541
♪ Hello to the world ♪
488
00:20:10,693 --> 00:20:14,361
♪ Do the things
you always wish you would ♪
489
00:20:14,455 --> 00:20:18,791
♪ Wave your hands
and say hello to the world ♪
490
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,718
♪ ♪
491
00:20:20,869 --> 00:20:22,778
♪ Hello to the world ♪
492
00:20:22,871 --> 00:20:24,705
-♪ Feels so ♪
-♪ Feels so good ♪
493
00:20:24,799 --> 00:20:25,547
♪ Feels so ♪
494
00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:30,803
♪ Do the things
you always wish you would ♪
495
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:34,065
♪ Wave your hands and say hello
to the world. ♪
496
00:20:34,216 --> 00:20:35,958
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