1 00:00:02,712 --> 00:00:04,336 Oh, hello. 2 00:00:04,488 --> 00:00:06,063 Nice to see you all. 3 00:00:06,081 --> 00:00:09,233 Some return visitors I see, and some fresh faces. 4 00:00:09,251 --> 00:00:10,843 You know, I was just thinking about 5 00:00:10,994 --> 00:00:13,661 how we put people in boxes and make assumptions about them 6 00:00:13,723 --> 00:00:15,906 based merely on what they do for a living. 7 00:00:15,966 --> 00:00:19,351 You said you owned a cat café, so I drew you living alone. 8 00:00:19,544 --> 00:00:20,911 Cats are like your babies 9 00:00:20,929 --> 00:00:23,480 and you eat canned soup for dinner every night. 10 00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:26,266 Not even close. 11 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,268 Spot-on. 12 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:31,179 My mother's very concerned that because of my job, 13 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,531 I'll be single forever. 14 00:00:32,724 --> 00:00:35,034 She also fancies herself to be a bit of a... 15 00:00:35,185 --> 00:00:36,902 how should I put this? 16 00:00:37,096 --> 00:00:40,372 ♪ Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match ♪ 17 00:00:40,565 --> 00:00:42,766 -♪ Find me a find ♪ -Mother, you can't do this... 18 00:00:42,785 --> 00:00:44,526 -♪ Catch me a catch ♪ -...in the middle of a cat café. 19 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:47,621 ♪ Matchmaker, matchmaker, I'll bring the veil ♪ 20 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,773 ♪ You bring the groom... ♪ 21 00:00:49,792 --> 00:00:52,626 Which is why earlier in the week, this happened. 22 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,219 Katharine, I've found him. 23 00:00:54,412 --> 00:00:56,055 I've found your soul mate. 24 00:00:56,248 --> 00:00:57,539 A gentleman I met at the track. 25 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,634 He seemed very interested in what you do, 26 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:04,546 and when I showed him a picture of you, he didn't balk. 27 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:09,459 Okay, as enticing as that is, I am not gonna go on a date 28 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,553 with a random man you met at the horse track. 29 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:15,557 He's not a random man. He's the track announcer. 30 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,744 I've always been fascinated by that skill set. 31 00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:21,805 And I'm going on a date with a track announcer 32 00:01:21,865 --> 00:01:24,308 because I said Yes To My Mother, Yes To My Mother, 33 00:01:24,368 --> 00:01:26,326 and taking the lead is Hell Must've Frozen Over. 34 00:01:26,478 --> 00:01:29,588 -(bell dings) -Oh. Soup's done. 35 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,965 ♪ ♪ 36 00:01:36,955 --> 00:01:39,840 Daniel, come get your latte before it gets cold. 37 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:41,325 Thank you. 38 00:01:41,385 --> 00:01:43,827 Mm-hmm. 39 00:01:43,887 --> 00:01:45,495 Whoa, hey, Randi. 40 00:01:45,556 --> 00:01:47,589 Can you use a friendlier tone? 41 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,642 Maybe throw in a "Have a meow-tastic day"? 42 00:01:50,836 --> 00:01:52,686 Which is what I do for every other customer. 43 00:01:52,822 --> 00:01:55,856 But Daniel comes in here every damn day and never tips. 44 00:01:56,008 --> 00:01:57,616 Unless you count that one time the loyalty card 45 00:01:57,809 --> 00:01:59,601 from the yogurt shop fell out of his pocket. 46 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,620 And yes, I did use it to get a free yogurt. 47 00:02:01,813 --> 00:02:04,272 Marty used to overtip just to show off. 48 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,941 One time this waiter said he had lost his watch. 49 00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:08,443 Marty gave him a watch. 50 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,445 Well, that sounds very Jesus-like. 51 00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:12,113 It was my watch. 52 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:13,715 (phone rings) 53 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,376 (gasps) Oh, look. 54 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,211 It's Brandon, the track announcer 55 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,396 my mom set me up with. 56 00:02:19,398 --> 00:02:20,788 He sent me a picture 57 00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:22,624 so that I will recognize him when we meet. 58 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:26,720 He is cuter than a calico in a sweater-vest. 59 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:29,314 Ooh, I'd hit that. 60 00:02:29,507 --> 00:02:31,299 That's something I've heard people say. 61 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,134 I wish I hadn't tried it. 62 00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:34,653 RANDI: Well, I predict 63 00:02:34,846 --> 00:02:37,381 that you and Dimples are gonna have a great time. 64 00:02:37,441 --> 00:02:39,474 I hope so. I just don't want to get too excited. 65 00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,142 My mother has a terrible track record 66 00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,220 when it comes to making decisions for me. 67 00:02:43,322 --> 00:02:46,456 SHEILA: Guys love girls with curls. 68 00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:52,654 Okay, he says, "Excited to meet you tomorrow. 69 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,081 I'll be there even if I have to come straight from work." 70 00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:56,842 Sweet, flirtatious. 71 00:02:56,993 --> 00:03:03,348 So I'll say, "I'll be there even if I still have diarrhea." 72 00:03:04,501 --> 00:03:05,550 No, I don't have that, 73 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,186 I'm just trying to be flirtatious. 74 00:03:07,379 --> 00:03:08,670 Okay, well, never in the history of flirting 75 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,747 has anyone ever invoked diarrhea. 76 00:03:10,807 --> 00:03:14,359 I'm just impressed you know how to spell it. 77 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,529 I couldn't. 78 00:03:17,681 --> 00:03:19,031 Okay, then, I won't send the diarrhea text. 79 00:03:19,224 --> 00:03:21,925 Oh, I just sent the diarrhea text. 80 00:03:21,944 --> 00:03:23,202 Why do they put the send and delete buttons 81 00:03:23,395 --> 00:03:25,262 so close to each other? 82 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,957 There's an "H" in there somewhere. 83 00:03:30,068 --> 00:03:32,102 So, what if I texted, 84 00:03:32,162 --> 00:03:33,861 "Maybe you come back to my place after 85 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,288 and pet my new kitten?" 86 00:03:35,441 --> 00:03:36,623 Is that flirting? 87 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,051 I don't know, but it made me blush. 88 00:03:39,244 --> 00:03:41,553 Ooh, you're a project, aren't you? 89 00:03:42,598 --> 00:03:44,872 Piano karaoke night. You're all coming. 90 00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,058 Especially you. 91 00:03:46,251 --> 00:03:47,875 You know why. 92 00:03:47,937 --> 00:03:49,803 Me? No? 93 00:03:49,955 --> 00:03:51,212 -Why? -(laughs) 94 00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,515 There was a piano in our college dorm. 95 00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:55,383 Max and I used to meet there at 4:00 a.m. and play 96 00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:58,795 the loudest version of "Piano Man" you've ever heard. 97 00:03:58,814 --> 00:04:01,764 We woke up the whole dorm. It did not make us popular. 98 00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:04,301 -But it made us happy. -So you're in? 99 00:04:04,361 --> 00:04:06,820 I was in before you even invited me. 100 00:04:06,956 --> 00:04:08,488 That's how in I'm in. 101 00:04:08,624 --> 00:04:10,565 Great. All right, I'll see you all there. 102 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,751 Uh-oh. Piano karaoke night is the same night 103 00:04:12,944 --> 00:04:15,236 you're supposed to be hanging out with racetrack dude. 104 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:17,238 -No. -Yes. 105 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,740 But I really want to hang out with Max. 106 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,485 He's a guaranteed good time. He gets me. 107 00:04:21,586 --> 00:04:23,987 But doesn't he have a girlfriend in France? 108 00:04:24,047 --> 00:04:25,764 Ex-girlfriend. Brigitte. 109 00:04:25,957 --> 00:04:27,582 But she sounds awful. 110 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,159 Max said she hated all the best American stuff. 111 00:04:29,219 --> 00:04:31,770 Ketchup, country music, football. 112 00:04:31,921 --> 00:04:36,149 Why don't we just admit it, this is all homoerotic, no? 113 00:04:39,505 --> 00:04:40,670 Let me check and see if Brandon 114 00:04:40,689 --> 00:04:42,355 even responded to the diarrhea text. 115 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:45,600 He's probably figuring out a way to cancel on me anyway. 116 00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:49,012 Oh, wow. He says, "L-O-L. See you tomorrow." 117 00:04:49,072 --> 00:04:50,680 Damn it, he gets me, too. 118 00:04:50,741 --> 00:04:52,457 Oh, why don't you just hang out with Max 119 00:04:52,650 --> 00:04:54,275 for the first half of the night, then go meet up with Brandon 120 00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:55,869 for a drink on the later side? 121 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,462 That's what I would do. 122 00:04:58,248 --> 00:04:59,689 Then that's what I'm gonna do. 123 00:04:59,708 --> 00:05:02,950 39 and killing it on the social scene. 124 00:05:03,012 --> 00:05:05,429 Who would expect that? 125 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,557 Draw me now, bitch. 126 00:05:15,874 --> 00:05:17,173 I'm kind of excited. 127 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,317 The evening feels so full of possibility. 128 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,152 Yeah, it is. Two guys, one night, 129 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,303 so you need to look double cute. 130 00:05:23,181 --> 00:05:25,065 Damn, girl. You've been robbed. 131 00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:26,974 (chuckles) No. 132 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,718 That's my capsule wardrobe. 133 00:05:28,820 --> 00:05:32,222 15 items of clothing that can be worn 47 different ways. 134 00:05:32,282 --> 00:05:34,407 I needed to save money when I opened the café. 135 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,835 Yeah. And the number one thing men are attracted to 136 00:05:37,028 --> 00:05:38,986 in a woman is thriftiness. 137 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,488 Well, in that case, Daniel "No Tipper" 138 00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:43,249 would be super turned on by my closet right now. 139 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:46,011 I would not wish that guy on my worst enemy. 140 00:05:46,162 --> 00:05:47,420 Actually, I would. 141 00:05:47,573 --> 00:05:49,514 Maybe I should set him up with Sienna. 142 00:05:49,707 --> 00:05:52,759 This seems like the perfect night for my green pantsuit. 143 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,687 What-- Didn't Max just see you in that at Tara's wedding? 144 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,005 Yes, but-- Fine. 145 00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,174 I'll wear my favorite leggings. 146 00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,176 Now I know I am not about to watch you 147 00:06:02,270 --> 00:06:04,011 put on a pair of leggings you just pulled 148 00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,922 out of the dirty laundry hamper, am I? 149 00:06:05,982 --> 00:06:07,440 Oh, come on, you've done it. 150 00:06:07,593 --> 00:06:09,350 And you've done it. We've all done it. 151 00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:11,111 You do you, but just so you know, 152 00:06:11,263 --> 00:06:12,687 there's a sock stuck to the butt. 153 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:14,114 (laughs): Oh. 154 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,357 Well, that would've been awkward. 155 00:06:17,193 --> 00:06:18,526 All right, you know how it works. 156 00:06:18,662 --> 00:06:20,194 Sign up for a spot, and when it's your turn, 157 00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,955 you come on up and show us what you got. 158 00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:23,623 Now, this is a safe space. 159 00:06:23,775 --> 00:06:25,050 But if you suck, I'm gonna ring this bell, 160 00:06:25,243 --> 00:06:26,443 and you better back away from the piano 161 00:06:26,503 --> 00:06:28,278 and get your ass off the stage. 162 00:06:28,338 --> 00:06:29,888 All right, let's give a warm welcome 163 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,206 to the Whitworth sisters and Little Andy. 164 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,284 (cheering, applause) 165 00:06:34,386 --> 00:06:36,728 Can you have a dog in a bar? 166 00:06:36,921 --> 00:06:38,622 Can you have a cat in a café? 167 00:06:38,723 --> 00:06:40,047 Touché. 168 00:06:40,109 --> 00:06:42,250 So, I signed us up for the end. 169 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,477 I feel confident we can really bring it home. 170 00:06:44,630 --> 00:06:46,463 I'm supposed to meet someone for a drink later. 171 00:06:46,523 --> 00:06:48,298 Do you think you could move us up to the middle? 172 00:06:48,358 --> 00:06:50,316 Oh, sure. Who you meeting? 173 00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:52,302 Just got a date with a track announcer. 174 00:06:52,362 --> 00:06:54,988 No way. You love that skill set. 175 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,640 Are you sensing a little jealousy? 176 00:06:56,658 --> 00:06:58,583 'Cause I'm sensing a little jealousy. 177 00:06:59,444 --> 00:07:02,587 By the way, I made us a set list. 178 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:06,091 Why did you make a set list without consulting your partner? 179 00:07:06,284 --> 00:07:07,817 Because I knew my partner would like my set list. 180 00:07:07,836 --> 00:07:09,319 It's our old standbys. 181 00:07:09,337 --> 00:07:11,321 But maybe your partner made her own set list. 182 00:07:11,423 --> 00:07:13,247 So even though my partner was invited by me, 183 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,767 -she thinks she's in charge? -Are we having our first fight? 184 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,011 Our first fight was pizza versus Indian food. 185 00:07:18,163 --> 00:07:19,587 We couldn't have made it to the pizza place 186 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:21,347 -before they closed. -If you'd have made a left 187 00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:22,941 instead of a right, we could have. 188 00:07:23,134 --> 00:07:24,109 It was a one-way street. 189 00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:25,669 Not that section of it. 190 00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:29,263 -One more? -You know, why not? 191 00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,191 Marty used to cut me off after one 192 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:34,101 because too much alcohol gives me night sweats. 193 00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:36,604 But he's not around to get wet anymore. 194 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:39,349 I'm sorry to hear that. When did you guys break up? 195 00:07:39,409 --> 00:07:42,035 -Four months ago. -I feel you man. 196 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,020 I just got my divorce papers Thursday. 197 00:07:44,122 --> 00:07:45,464 Hit me like a ton of bricks. 198 00:07:45,615 --> 00:07:47,190 -Mm, bless your heart. -Yeah. 199 00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:48,541 She was always like, "You're never around. 200 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:51,027 You're out at that bar every night." 201 00:07:51,046 --> 00:07:52,453 Because I own a bar. 202 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:55,790 You knew that when you met me in the bar. 203 00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:57,217 Marty was the opposite. 204 00:07:57,369 --> 00:07:58,868 He used to say, "You don't want to go anywhere." 205 00:07:58,887 --> 00:08:01,721 But I like being home and tending to my garden. 206 00:08:01,873 --> 00:08:04,724 And I cannot be away from my sourdough starter 207 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,876 for longer than 12 hours. 208 00:08:06,937 --> 00:08:08,153 You got to feed the beast. 209 00:08:08,346 --> 00:08:10,989 You got to feed the beast. 210 00:08:11,182 --> 00:08:13,325 -Thank you. -Thank you. 211 00:08:13,518 --> 00:08:15,810 Hey, hey, I know that guy. Did he tip you, Carter? 212 00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:17,053 Aw, come on, man. 213 00:08:17,155 --> 00:08:18,404 Uh, excuse me. 214 00:08:18,557 --> 00:08:20,557 I thought it was just me you didn't tip. 215 00:08:20,659 --> 00:08:22,501 I thought it was some weird little dance that we were doing. 216 00:08:22,652 --> 00:08:24,060 But when you don't tip my friends, 217 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,319 I require an explanation. 218 00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:27,321 It's not illegal not to tip. 219 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,323 It's also not illegal to leave your shopping cart 220 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,085 in the parking lot, but that really fires me up, too. 221 00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:34,161 Hmm. You're a passionate person. 222 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,515 Mm-hmm. And you're a fancy lawyer. 223 00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:38,925 I know that 'cause I got your name from your credit card 224 00:08:39,077 --> 00:08:40,577 and looked your ass up. 225 00:08:40,637 --> 00:08:42,746 So you're one of those well-off cheapskates, huh? 226 00:08:42,764 --> 00:08:45,265 I have a reason for not tipping. Want to hear it? 227 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:46,358 Was it because your mommy's from Europe 228 00:08:46,509 --> 00:08:47,767 and they don't tip there? 229 00:08:47,919 --> 00:08:50,144 Because tipping fosters sexual harassment, 230 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,179 reflects and amplifies racial discrimination 231 00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:54,307 and allows businesses to off-load the burden 232 00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:56,442 of paying workers a fair wage. 233 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:59,520 Well, do you know what else tipping fosters? 234 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,522 My beautiful foam art that you will never see, 235 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,783 which includes two cats holding a heart 236 00:09:03,935 --> 00:09:05,693 and a grandpa cat sitting in front of a rainbow. 237 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:09,196 And you know he's a grandpa because he's smoking a pipe. 238 00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,532 Huh. So, that's why it takes forever to get a coffee. 239 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:14,201 Well, if you want fast coffee, make it at home. 240 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:17,222 Well, what's the fun in that? 241 00:09:18,508 --> 00:09:22,894 Honey, is it just me, or do you need a cigarette? 242 00:09:24,088 --> 00:09:25,455 -(cheering) -Yeah! Good job. 243 00:09:25,557 --> 00:09:28,049 We'll have to bring you back. All right. 244 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,459 You might recognize this next guy. 245 00:09:29,519 --> 00:09:30,902 All right, he's our bartender. 246 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,237 And just because he's my good friend 247 00:09:32,388 --> 00:09:33,813 doesn't mean I won't ring this bell 248 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,815 and throw his ass off the stage. 249 00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:36,983 All right? Let's welcome 250 00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:38,985 Kat Silver and Max Kingbird, 251 00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:40,912 aka Silver Bird! 252 00:09:41,105 --> 00:09:42,806 -All right. -(cheering) 253 00:09:42,866 --> 00:09:44,749 How you all doing tonight? 254 00:09:44,942 --> 00:09:46,309 (whooping) 255 00:09:46,369 --> 00:09:48,402 -You know... -(playing piano) 256 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:51,831 Max and I went to college together at U of L. 257 00:09:51,983 --> 00:09:53,483 Go, Cards! 258 00:09:53,543 --> 00:09:56,502 Max and I are just reconnecting after, 259 00:09:56,655 --> 00:09:58,504 oh, about ten years apart. He was working overseas. 260 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,324 Max, of all the places you traveled to, 261 00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:03,250 what would you say is your favorite? 262 00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:05,011 I would have to say Paris. 263 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,772 Beautiful people, flaky croissants, 264 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,349 and the language is so beautiful, 265 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:12,152 you hardly notice the cigarette breath. 266 00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:16,764 I wonder what time it is in Paris right now. 267 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:17,857 Well, that depends. 268 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,342 What time is it here? 269 00:10:19,402 --> 00:10:24,347 ♪ It's 9:00 on a Saturday ♪ 270 00:10:24,407 --> 00:10:26,032 ♪ Regular crowd ♪ 271 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,441 ♪ Shuffles in ♪ 272 00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,853 ♪ There's an old man ♪ 273 00:10:29,871 --> 00:10:31,688 ♪ Sitting next to me ♪ That's you, sir. 274 00:10:31,748 --> 00:10:34,448 ♪ Making love to his tonic and gin ♪ 275 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:38,637 ♪ He says, son, can you play me a memory? ♪ 276 00:10:38,830 --> 00:10:42,382 ♪ I'm not really sure how it goes ♪ 277 00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:45,051 ♪ But it's sad, and it's sweet ♪ 278 00:10:45,203 --> 00:10:46,870 ♪ And I knew it complete ♪ 279 00:10:46,888 --> 00:10:50,056 ♪ When I wore a younger man's clothes ♪ 280 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,893 ♪ Oh, la, la-la, di-dee-da. ♪ 281 00:10:54,045 --> 00:10:58,064 ♪ Reunited and it feels so good ♪ 282 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,716 It really does, Kat. 283 00:10:59,776 --> 00:11:03,887 ♪ Reunited, 'cause we understood ♪ 284 00:11:03,905 --> 00:11:05,071 Yeah, we did. 285 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,480 ♪ There's one perfect fit ♪ 286 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:10,484 ♪ And, sugar, this one is it ♪ 287 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,338 ♪ We both are so excited 'cause we're ♪ 288 00:11:13,531 --> 00:11:16,582 ♪ Reunited, hey, hey... ♪ 289 00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:19,160 -♪ Gloria ♪ -♪ Gloria ♪ 290 00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:21,070 ♪ I think they got your number ♪ 291 00:11:21,131 --> 00:11:22,496 ♪ Gloria ♪ 292 00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:23,682 ♪ I think they got the alias ♪ 293 00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:25,183 ♪ Alias ♪ 294 00:11:25,376 --> 00:11:26,351 ♪ That you've been living under ♪ 295 00:11:26,502 --> 00:11:27,927 ♪ Gloria ♪ 296 00:11:28,079 --> 00:11:29,595 ♪ But you really don't remember ♪ 297 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:33,082 ♪ Was it something that they said? ♪ 298 00:11:33,143 --> 00:11:36,419 ♪ Are the voices in your head ♪ 299 00:11:36,479 --> 00:11:39,180 ♪ Calling, Gloria? ♪ 300 00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:41,449 -(song ends) -(cheering, applause) 301 00:11:42,819 --> 00:11:44,619 (barking) 302 00:11:51,235 --> 00:11:53,453 (whooping, laughing) 303 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:56,272 (laughs): Okay, first of all, that was hot. 304 00:11:56,332 --> 00:11:58,216 You two really undersold yourselves. 305 00:11:58,409 --> 00:12:00,385 And then second of all, it's time for you to go. 306 00:12:00,578 --> 00:12:02,612 -No. Really? -Yeah. If you leave now, 307 00:12:02,672 --> 00:12:04,556 you'll be fashionably late to meet Brandon. 308 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,307 Oh, I'm not going. 309 00:12:07,118 --> 00:12:09,060 I'm not going. 310 00:12:09,253 --> 00:12:10,711 So, wait. You're just gonna stand Brandon up 311 00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:12,455 after you told me I had to be nice 312 00:12:12,515 --> 00:12:14,307 to everybody, including Daniel? 313 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,884 Oh. Which, by the way, turned into a whole other thing, girl. 314 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,903 I'll tell you about that later. 315 00:12:19,055 --> 00:12:20,646 Look, you saw us up there. 316 00:12:20,799 --> 00:12:23,483 Maybe there's some reason that Max broke up with Brigitte 317 00:12:23,635 --> 00:12:25,818 and ended up working next door to me. 318 00:12:25,971 --> 00:12:27,320 Maybe he's the first person 319 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,080 who had to leave Paris to find love. 320 00:12:29,232 --> 00:12:30,397 I have to play this out. 321 00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:31,824 So what are you gonna tell Brandon? 322 00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:32,917 I don't know. 323 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,253 That my diarrhea got real bad. 324 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,647 Okay, well, you know in order to be the kind of girl 325 00:12:37,707 --> 00:12:39,466 who goes out on two dates in one night, 326 00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,760 you actually have to go on both dates. 327 00:12:41,953 --> 00:12:43,628 But your call. 328 00:12:43,822 --> 00:12:45,246 Wingwoman out. 329 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,349 RANDI: Hey, guys. 330 00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:50,918 Don't judge me. 331 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:53,104 I mean, you saw what I felt. 332 00:12:53,297 --> 00:12:55,982 We "Gloria'd" in unison. 333 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,759 That was fun. 334 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,128 So fun. 335 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,762 So, you're really into France, huh? 336 00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:03,114 We should go there someday. 337 00:13:03,307 --> 00:13:04,949 Maybe get on the French cabaret circuit? 338 00:13:05,142 --> 00:13:06,100 Oh, I would love that. 339 00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:07,844 I do need to get back there. 340 00:13:07,904 --> 00:13:09,529 See Brigitte. 341 00:13:10,314 --> 00:13:12,773 Oh? I thought you broke up with her. 342 00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:14,183 No. 343 00:13:14,285 --> 00:13:17,020 She broke up with me. 344 00:13:17,038 --> 00:13:19,589 But I'm gonna get her back. 345 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,858 Really? 346 00:13:21,918 --> 00:13:24,302 Well, I know you can do anything 347 00:13:24,495 --> 00:13:25,878 -you set your mind to. -Hmm. 348 00:13:26,031 --> 00:13:27,806 Remember when you won those two giant pandas 349 00:13:27,999 --> 00:13:30,457 at the "water in the clown's mouth" game at Kentucky Kingdom? 350 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:33,144 I mean, I've seen people win one giant animal, 351 00:13:33,296 --> 00:13:34,887 but you won two. 352 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,648 (laughs): I forgot about that. 353 00:13:36,799 --> 00:13:38,207 I didn't. 354 00:13:38,268 --> 00:13:40,043 Wow, total misread. 355 00:13:40,103 --> 00:13:42,728 I have to get out of here. 356 00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:45,156 So... I got to go. 357 00:13:45,349 --> 00:13:48,051 Oh, right. 'Cause you got your drinks thing. 358 00:13:48,152 --> 00:13:51,054 Yeah. Yeah, that's it. (chuckles) 359 00:13:51,114 --> 00:13:52,722 I'll see ya. 360 00:13:52,782 --> 00:13:54,315 Hey, Kat? 361 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,500 Yeah? 362 00:13:55,693 --> 00:13:57,585 There's something around your ankle. 363 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,154 (gasps) No way! 364 00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:03,049 This is so much worse than a sock. 365 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,418 Oh, Andy, oh... 366 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,236 Andy. No. Andy. 367 00:14:07,297 --> 00:14:08,680 Andy, I got to go. 368 00:14:08,873 --> 00:14:10,164 Heel! Heel! Andy! 369 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,240 Little Andy, release the panties! 370 00:14:11,301 --> 00:14:12,241 Release the panties! 371 00:14:12,302 --> 00:14:14,310 Stop staying "panties"! 372 00:14:20,051 --> 00:14:22,026 (toilet flushing) 373 00:14:25,056 --> 00:14:26,680 How you doing? 374 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,183 Well, ironically, I seem to have given myself diarrhea. 375 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,536 Oh, that reminds me. 376 00:14:31,729 --> 00:14:33,946 Carter found your drawers underneath a table, 377 00:14:34,099 --> 00:14:35,356 and he dropped them off for you. 378 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,950 Wow. He even put them in a plastic bag 379 00:14:38,103 --> 00:14:39,377 like they're evidence. 380 00:14:39,570 --> 00:14:43,030 That would never happen to me. 381 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,866 Let me guess: because you don't wear underwear? 382 00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:51,297 No. Because my buttocks holds my thong so securely in place. 383 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,374 Brigitte, I can't with you right now. 384 00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:56,043 I can't with you right now. 385 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,787 Listen, you entertained 386 00:14:57,847 --> 00:15:00,231 a lot of people in a lot of different ways last night. 387 00:15:00,424 --> 00:15:02,308 I don't think you should feel bad. 388 00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:03,793 Oh, I don't feel bad. 389 00:15:03,811 --> 00:15:05,144 I feel exhausted. 390 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,238 Dating takes so much effort and energy. 391 00:15:07,431 --> 00:15:10,557 And I didn't even go on a date. 392 00:15:11,302 --> 00:15:12,635 Well, let me ask you something. 393 00:15:12,654 --> 00:15:14,987 When's the last time you had a boyfriend? 394 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,656 Serious boyfriend? 395 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,249 It's been a minute. 396 00:15:18,401 --> 00:15:21,068 I dated a guy named Walter for four years. 397 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,903 He was a teacher. 398 00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:24,405 Good one. Chemistry. 399 00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,758 Then he had all these medical bills, 400 00:15:26,909 --> 00:15:28,317 and he needed more money, 401 00:15:28,378 --> 00:15:31,003 so he started using his skills to make meth. 402 00:15:31,156 --> 00:15:34,182 No, uh-uh, that's Breaking Bad. 403 00:15:35,051 --> 00:15:37,310 It did break bad. 404 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,495 Fine. 405 00:15:39,514 --> 00:15:42,423 My longest relationship lasted three months. 406 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,758 They just sort of peter out. 407 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:48,171 Which is funny, because that's exactly what my ex, Peter, said 408 00:15:48,231 --> 00:15:50,006 when we broke up. 409 00:15:50,066 --> 00:15:52,283 But he said it like, "Peter out." 410 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:56,179 Well, you know dating is just dating until you get married. 411 00:15:56,197 --> 00:15:57,622 It's not supposed to last. 412 00:15:57,815 --> 00:16:00,866 I know. But I had a date with a nice, dimple-y guy, 413 00:16:01,019 --> 00:16:03,352 and then I was so sure that something was happening 414 00:16:03,413 --> 00:16:05,871 with me and Max when apparently nothing was happening 415 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,040 with me and Max. 416 00:16:08,193 --> 00:16:09,450 Can I tell you something? 417 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,044 You make running a business look easy. 418 00:16:12,197 --> 00:16:13,954 I wouldn't know what the hell to do. 419 00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:15,990 Dating is hard for some people. 420 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:18,184 Don't beat yourself up. 421 00:16:19,003 --> 00:16:20,478 Thank you, Randi. 422 00:16:20,629 --> 00:16:23,222 Plus, you don't have to give up on Dimples. 423 00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:25,041 You think he'd still go out with me 424 00:16:25,059 --> 00:16:27,560 after I so rudely blew him off at the last minute? 425 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:31,572 Us dating professionals call that playing hard to get. 426 00:16:33,476 --> 00:16:36,285 I've always wanted to play hard to get. 427 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,222 Hey, hey. What's up, little man? 428 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,742 -We still on for tonight? -Yeah. We gonna drink some beer 429 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,669 and watch some sports-ball? 430 00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:47,321 I thought you said you were gonna teach me and Carter Jr. 431 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,065 how to make cinnamon rolls. 432 00:16:49,083 --> 00:16:51,400 Oh, thank God. I couldn't remember what we settled on. 433 00:16:51,461 --> 00:16:53,753 Those two beers had me sweating so bad, 434 00:16:53,905 --> 00:16:55,829 I fell asleep on the kitchen floor 435 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:57,590 with the refrigerator door open. 436 00:16:57,742 --> 00:17:00,351 I used a bag of frozen corn as a pillow. 437 00:17:00,544 --> 00:17:03,521 Hey, all right, well, I'll pick you up at 6:00. 438 00:17:03,714 --> 00:17:05,314 Okay. 439 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,359 Oh, hello. 440 00:17:08,552 --> 00:17:11,270 Well, my boss says I have to be nice to you, so: 441 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,514 -Welcome to Kat's Cat Café. -(chuckles) 442 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,350 How can we make your day purr-fect? 443 00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:18,852 (chuckles) I'll have my regular, please. 444 00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:22,265 Oh, no, no, no, I'm sorry, remembering customers' orders 445 00:17:22,325 --> 00:17:24,375 is another perk of tipping. 446 00:17:24,568 --> 00:17:27,045 -Soy vanilla latte. -Mm. 447 00:17:27,238 --> 00:17:30,590 And I brought you... this. 448 00:17:31,793 --> 00:17:33,276 Film? 449 00:17:33,336 --> 00:17:34,868 Yeah. Looked you up, too. You're a photographer. 450 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,220 I like your stuff. 451 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,964 I'm pretty sure that's the kind of film you use. 452 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,617 So is this my tip? 453 00:17:41,677 --> 00:17:42,727 No. No. 454 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,878 It's, um... it's a gift. 455 00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:46,230 So you're still not tipping? 456 00:17:46,382 --> 00:17:48,291 Mm-mm. No, sticking to my guns on that one. 457 00:17:48,351 --> 00:17:50,384 They actually had a tip jar at the camera store. 458 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,977 I didn't tip there, either. 459 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,796 Wait, a tip jar at a camera store? 460 00:17:53,856 --> 00:17:55,314 Okay, now, that is bananas. 461 00:17:55,466 --> 00:17:58,076 (mock gasp) So we agree on something. 462 00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:01,287 -That'll be $3.45. -(chuckles) 463 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,417 And not a penny more. 464 00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:11,647 Whoa, he is a piece of work. 465 00:18:11,666 --> 00:18:14,050 So are you gonna go out with him? 466 00:18:14,852 --> 00:18:16,076 Maybe. 467 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,721 Will you drop my number at his table? 468 00:18:21,092 --> 00:18:22,934 Are you Brandon? 469 00:18:23,085 --> 00:18:24,844 -I am. -I'm Kat. 470 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:25,937 Oh, Kat. 471 00:18:26,130 --> 00:18:27,754 Yeah. Yeah. I just... 472 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,941 I feel terrible about blowing you off last night. 473 00:18:30,134 --> 00:18:31,609 It's just not who I am. 474 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:35,171 So, um, I brought you some pastries from my café 475 00:18:35,231 --> 00:18:37,598 -by way of apology. -Oh. 476 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:38,765 Thank you. 477 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,009 How's the tummy? 478 00:18:40,069 --> 00:18:41,844 Right as rain. 479 00:18:41,904 --> 00:18:44,771 It's still a little bubbly. 480 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:48,793 Look, maybe you would consider giving us a second chance 481 00:18:48,986 --> 00:18:50,444 to, like, go out on the town, 482 00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:53,689 let our hair down, maybe kick off our heels... 483 00:18:53,791 --> 00:18:54,966 Oh! 484 00:18:56,210 --> 00:18:57,117 -You okay? -Yeah. 485 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,452 (clicks tongue, chuckles) 486 00:18:58,513 --> 00:19:00,379 There must be some misunderstanding. 487 00:19:00,531 --> 00:19:02,956 When I asked your mother if you'd be open to meeting up, 488 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,308 it wasn't for a date. 489 00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:05,626 Oh... 490 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:08,146 Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it. 491 00:19:08,297 --> 00:19:09,981 (chuckles): Yeah. Ooh. 492 00:19:10,174 --> 00:19:11,649 Uh, what was it for? 493 00:19:11,842 --> 00:19:14,043 It was to get your advice on starting a business. 494 00:19:14,061 --> 00:19:15,711 See, my real dream is to open a cigar bar. 495 00:19:15,771 --> 00:19:19,323 Call it something like Butts on Fire, maybe Nice Ash. 496 00:19:20,809 --> 00:19:23,219 I'm sorry for the confusion. I'm married. 497 00:19:23,321 --> 00:19:26,222 Oh. Ho-ho, so you are. 498 00:19:26,282 --> 00:19:28,224 Oh, and your kids have dimples, too. 499 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,075 That is a dominant gene, you know. (chuckles) 500 00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:33,562 Dimple, dimple, dimple. Oh. 501 00:19:33,581 --> 00:19:36,540 -(shatters) -Oh, sorry! That is broken, yeah. 502 00:19:36,693 --> 00:19:37,842 Um, I... 503 00:19:37,993 --> 00:19:40,419 I'll send you a new frame. (chuckles) 504 00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:43,072 Hey, Bran, you ready for lunch? 505 00:19:43,132 --> 00:19:45,016 Oh. Yeah. Are you okay? 506 00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:47,685 Absolutely. Yeah. Enjoy your lunch. 507 00:19:47,878 --> 00:19:48,928 After you. 508 00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,439 No. After you. 509 00:19:55,686 --> 00:19:59,012 There are times in your life when you think: 510 00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,847 what did it all mean? 511 00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:02,942 You know, what was the lesson? 512 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,851 I bet on two different guys 513 00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:08,021 only to discover that I didn't have much of a chance 514 00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:09,949 with either one of them. 515 00:20:10,101 --> 00:20:11,934 But I say it was worth it. 516 00:20:11,994 --> 00:20:13,285 It was all worth it. 517 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,630 'Cause it led me here. 518 00:20:16,666 --> 00:20:18,532 (sighs) 519 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:22,220 Lemons, meet lemonade. 520 00:20:28,752 --> 00:20:30,377 And they're off! 521 00:20:30,471 --> 00:20:32,212 And taking the lead, it's Don't Get Set Up by Your Mama. 522 00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:34,548 Coming up quickly in second is A Friend's a Friend Forever, 523 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,049 followed by ♪ Gloria! ♪ 524 00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:38,477 Gaining on the pack is Stay Positive, 525 00:20:38,629 --> 00:20:40,463 but Sweet Lemonade is coming up fast! 526 00:20:40,523 --> 00:20:44,700 Oh, it's Sweet Lemonade for the win! Whoo! 527 00:20:49,273 --> 00:20:50,806 Oh, my God, Katharine, it turns out 528 00:20:50,825 --> 00:20:53,659 -Brandon is married. -Married. I know it, Mother. 529 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:56,254 But not to worry, because I found another prospect. 530 00:20:56,447 --> 00:20:57,997 I am never going out with someone 531 00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,757 you set me up with again. 532 00:20:59,908 --> 00:21:01,000 He drives a Zamboni. 533 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,168 I am fascinated by that skill set. 534 00:21:03,321 --> 00:21:06,913 -I know you are. -Let me see a picture. 535 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:09,308 ♪ ♪ 536 00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:28,511 Let me see that picture again. 537 00:21:28,529 --> 00:21:30,121 -So he is actually a Zamboni... -He's got a mustache. 538 00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,864 -Is that a problem? -How do you spell "Zamboni"? 539 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:34,274 (overlapping chatter) 540 00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:36,127 Captioning sponsored by WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 541 00:21:36,278 --> 00:21:38,713 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org