Oh, my God. What is going on?
Okay. I really need to start seeing people get dressed now.
This is not 11:15 Nikki anymore, this is-- Well, this is 11:28 Nikki.
And if you don't like her, imagine what twelve o'clock Nikki's gonna look like.
So let's just up our game. Lorna, Lorna.
I need you to talk to the photographer
because he's taking pictures of the geese on the lawn
and they're not officially involved in the wedding,
but if he takes any more, everyone's gonna think it's geese-themed,
and we're better than that.
-Okay. -Okay? Okay.
I talked to the head poncho.
We missed breakfast, but he said I could take some leftover sausages.
Oh, my God. What is he doing?
She should have paid for someone proper.
Who uses her fiancé's barber?
-Okay. I think it is there. -Okay.
How we getting on here?
Amy is now done.
It's the pop star Sebnem Ferah meets the great Levent Yuksel.
Okay.
I don't know who those people are or why they're meeting.
I can only assume to talk about how weird their hair is.
For a new theme let's try nice hair meets quickly. Okay?
My God.
God, weddings are fun.
Did I tell you I'm giving up the writing?
-Oh, yeah? -Yeah.
Heading back to finance.
Freddy. Freddy.
-Can I have a word? -Yeah.
And I know exactly what you're gonna say.
"Excuse me, Scott. I seem to recall you declaring yourself a socialist
on June 18th, 2011
after determining that capitalism, or should I say neo-feudalism,
is incompatible with democracy."
Well, here's what I'd say to that...
Yeah.
Right. Listen, mate, I need a bit of relationship advice.
Well, I'm single,
and I'm at a wedding with my wife and her boyfriend.
So, yeah, I'm pretty much definitely your guy.
Okay. I'm thinking about asking Nikki to marry me.
Mate. That is awesome.
-Congratulations. -But here.
What, here at the wedding?
Yeah. I mean, we wouldn't tell anyone about it, obviously.
Oh, I don't know, mate.
Proposing to someone at a wedding,
that is like murdering someone at a funeral.
That is gonna draw focus.
Is it a bit much, do you think?
It's a hat on a hat, mate.
-Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right. -Yeah.
Right. I gotta go. Got a wax booked.
What do you think?
Hold on. Hello?
Hello?
Can you get a signal here?
I don't know. I've had my phone turned off so I could enjoy the spa.
-There's a spa? -Yeah, by the orangery.
-There's an orangery? -Yeah, right behind the sun terrace.
There's a-- No. Okay. Stop.
But I've got to hand out six buttonholes by 2:00 p.m.
and I didn't want the stress of that hanging over me.
-Okay. -What you doing?
-Nailing it. -Oh, yeah?
'Cause I'm a manager now and I know how to get shit done.
-Oh, for God's sake. I've got to go. -Where you going?
Don't forget the rings.
Hey! No more geese.
No, no, no, no. No more geese.
No, they're lovely. It's just-- It's not a geese-themed wedding.
-Karen. Karen. -What's going on?
-Well, she won't come out. -Why?
Best guess this side of the door is probably some sort of Scott-based doubt.
What? Why?
Well, he's just a bit manscape-y and metrosexual, isn't he?
No, I mean--
Like one of those guys who fully crosses his legs, like, knee on knee.
Yeah. Exactly.
-Kaz? -We're okay for a while.
Kaz, can I come in?
Do I look okay?
Of course you do.
I don't like lots of people looking at me.
Right. Aren't you a teacher?
Well, children aren't people.
Karen.
You look beautiful.
I don't feel like me.
No, it's you.
Oh, I forgot. They're asking about music.
I'm gonna play it off my phone.
Right.
Aren't there adverts on that app?
They're not gonna cut in and ruin the mood?
I'm not paying for premium just for one night.
-Yeah. -Jesus.
That's definitely you.
I thought we were in the field.
No, he said there's been a change of plan, and we needed to carry on straight.
Listen.
-Nikki. -What?
-Have you seen the vicar? -Ca--
-Absolute VILF. Yeah. -I was--
-No. -Isn't he?
Yeah, are you into him?
-Yeah. He's so fit. -Really?
I love a man with a job.
Hi. Hi. Hi. Freddy.
Elliot.
I left my jacket on the train.
And my shirt.
Such a long way from the toilets.
I don't know why everyone's following me.
Here we go. Here's a door.
-Oh, wow. -Wow.
-Should I knock or what? -Yeah. You should always knock.
-Oh, my God. -Yeah.
-It's The Secret Garden. -Yeah.
Jase, did you--
Nah. No. Not a clue. No.
-Hello. -Hello. Hiya.
-Jase. -Hello.
Oh, Scott.
Hello, handsome.
-Look at this. -This is so beautiful.
Are these our hydrangeas?
Yeah, it's just on a lend.
He's a sweet boy, but he's got no brain for plants.
Bloody hell. How much did this lot cost?
Just wondering.
Has Erica got a favorite book?
Hello.
Welcome to the Secret Garden.
I'm supposed to ask if you'll sit on Scott's side...
-Okay. -...because it's just a bit, well...
-lopsided friends and family-wise. -Is it?
-Okay. All right. -Okay.
Thank you so much.
-Hiya. -Hello. You all right?
The Secret Garden. Do we sit on Scott's side?
Is your stomach feeling weird?
-I'm fine. Yeah. -Just me?
You all right?
So, what? Are we getting those hydrangeas back or what?
Yeah, we'll get them back.
Look.
Did you know about this?
Not really. I mean, I built the arch but...
You-- God.
What? It's a very basic wooden arch.
Oh, no, I can't.
This concealer's really shit and expensive.
Oh, wow.
First cry since 2012.
-Mo Farah. -Oh, right.
Hi.
Thank you.
It's okay.
I mean, as a novel,
I still find it a little too insistent on its own moral universe but--
Thank you.
In the presence of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
we have come together to witness the marriage
of Karen Mary Newman
and Scott Excalibur Atalanta Filburt.
"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.
If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one."
Do you think you could do a pull-up on that arch?
"But it will become unbreakable.
-Oh, my-- -To love is to be vulnerable."
That was beautiful. You're a beautiful writer.
Oh, no. I didn't--
Wonderful.
Do they think I wrote that?
Well, if it's famous you're supposed to say who it's by.
In order to come to love another, we must first come to love ourselves.
Will you love her, comfort her
and, forsaking all others,
keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?
I will.
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Thank you.
Thank God for that. I'm busting for a pee.
Very pleased the words touched you, but no. No current plans to publish.
You understand the anatomy of sadness, don't you?
Oh, yeah, I know my onions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
-Do you know the only man -Go on.
who never disappointed me was Jesus?
Yeah. Anyway, good catch up.
Hello.
-Are you all right, Shakespeare? -Yeah, yeah. You all right?
-Yeah. -Lovely service, wasn't it?
I mean, no one's ever not said that after a service,
but yeah, it was lovely.
Yeah. Well, let's go there.
Wait. Where we going? The reception's that way.
Will you just walk with me for a little second
before the speeches.
-Is that okay? Yeah. -Okay.
I don't wanna be too long, though. I need to explain the wedding gift.
I don't want her to think that we went for the third cheapest thing on the list
like everyone else does
even though that's what we definitely did do.
Oh, my God.
I love you...
Nikki.
And I know that proposing at a wedding
is a little bit, you know, a man wearing a hat.
But since realizing that I should, every day that I didn't,
it felt weird and strange, and it almost felt like a sort of betrayal.
You are twice as amazing as you need to be
for me to love you for the rest of both of our lives.
All this is just leftover amazing-ness that I don't ev--
If there was a whole nother me here, right now,
there will be enough for him to love for the rest of his life.
Nikki Newman.
Would--
Nikki Newman.
Oh, my God. Nikki, are you gonna say no?
Wha--
Hi.
This is a good time?
So sorry to gate crash.
-I did try to call. -No, there's no signal.
-Only in the atrium. -There's an atrium?
In the end, rang your work, spoke to Jen.
I could make up a story, but the fact is that girl knows your email password.
No.
But she had the good grace to pretend it was a guess.
So, what's happened?
Okay, so-- Right. We have found ourselves in a situation.
Princess and Tyler's placements have broken down.
Already? Why?
Nikki, these are complicated children,
and not everyone has the stomach for the fight.
So now we have got two kids sat in a council office with nowhere to go.
Fosterers can't take them back. Beds are already taken.
So I am here to ask if you'll take Princess.
Temporarily at first, but with you, there's a chance of it becoming permanent.
Otherwise, it's just another foster home in God knows where,
and that's just kicking the can down the road.
But we would be asking you to take a child you may not get to keep.
Well, why us?
Because you are passionate, and you're committed,
and you built an extra room in your house in a day.
And we don't have a lot of other options.
Okay, can we have some time?
Yes. Yes, anytime in the next 60 seconds. Absolutely fine.
Okay, can we have a little chat right here?
-Yes, yes. No, go on, go on. -All right.
-Shit. -Yes. Yeah. Okay.
-All right. What you feeling? -Sick.
-What, good sick or bad sick? Or-- -I don't know, Jason.
I'm wearing Spanx, so it's complicating things.
We might not even be able to keep her.
She's sat in an office, Jason.
-On her own. With no one. -I know. I know.
I know.
Oh, my God. I can't think in these bloody shoes.
We moved on. I'm scared to go back.
I know. I know.
So...
Come on.
-Let's do it. -Yeah, okay. Come on.
Okay.
-Karen. We've got to go. -What?
It's Princess.
It's complicated, but we may be taking her.
You joking.
I'm so sorry.
No, don't be sorry. Oh, my God. You go and get your daughter.
-I love you. All right. -I love you.
Come on. Let's go.
-Yeah, go on, go on. -See ya later.
I'll text you the speech, mate. Okay? Sorry.
-Follow me. -All right. Okay.
Right! Okay! Go, go, go!
Jason, the hand brake!
-Okay? Yeah. -Yeah.
What's the collective noun for foxes?
I don't know, Jase. Why?
'Cause it just seems like the sort of thing we should know now.
Can you look it up for me?
Yeah, okay.
Did you steal the little shampoos from the hotel, yeah?
Yes, of course I stole the shampoos from the hotel. We have a family now.
It's a skulk. A skulk of foxes.
-A skulk? -Yep.
Are you sure?
Are deciduous trees the ones that--
-Jase, breathe, breathe. -Yeah? Okay. All right.
We're ready.
Yeah. Yeah.
Can you look up deciduous trees for me?
Yes, okay.
I'm sad we're missing the speeches.
I bet they're beautiful.
So I have a list here
of people who specifically said that this would never happen.
"Abigail Turner."
Yeah. No, we don't all need to look at her. She knows who she is.
"Celeste Davies." There we go.
"Catherine Murphy."
Yep, there we are.
No plus-one? All right.
-Hi. -Hi.
-All right? -Good. Good.
-Hi. -Hello.
So this is Nikki and Jason,
and they were wondering whether you would like to go
and stay with them for a little while.
Yeah? Good girl.
Come on, Tyler. Let's go.
No, sweetheart, because--
Do you remember Tyler's not coming with you today?
But we are gonna see him on Tuesday. Aren't we?
Okay?
So, why don't you give Tyler a big old hug,
and we will see him on Tuesday?
Good girl.
Okay, darling. Come here, sweetheart.
Gregg, would you mind?
Come here, darling. Come on, darling.
I know this is hard.
-Come on, Tyler. -Would you mind just giving us a sec?
-Yeah. -Of course.
Princess. Come on, love, please.
It's gonna be absolutely fine. You are gonna have the best...
Yeah?
-Hello, darling. -Hello.
Hello. Hiya.
-It's okay, darling. -You gonna come get in the car?
-Go on, sweetheart. It'll be fine. -It's okay.
Good girl, look.
Here we are. Just parked here, look.
Come on.
Good girl.
There we go.
Do you want to come and stay maybe just for tonight
and then, you know, like... forever.
No, no. No time for that.
You're parents... for now.
You have a job to do.
You are the flight attendants.
She's watching to check that everything's okay.
Okay?
You're gonna be great.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please show your love and affection for Karen and Scott
as they take their first dance.
To some music which is very close to Scott's heart.
-Are you ready? -Yeah.
Don't be silly. Come on.
A group of foxes is called a skulk.
No, Jase. Let it come up organically.
All right.
Home sweet home.
Let's do it.
Come on then.
You all right, sweetheart?
Yes, this is us.
We need to get her bag.
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
I just need to find my keys.
Nikki.
-Nikki. -What?
Can you come here, please?
Just grab her bag.
No, seriously! Can you come here?
What?
Oh, my God.
Okay.
What do we do?
I don't know.
Get him out.
-Come on, matey. You all right? -Hello.
-What are you doing in there? -What you doing in there, hey?
Where's Princess?
-She's just over there. -She's over there.
-Princess! -Tyler.
I can't believe you're here.
-What do we do? -I don't know.
Oh, my God. Jase. Seriously, what do we do?
I don't know. You just asked me that, Nikki, and I still don't know. Okay?
Should we get him in the house?
No, no. We can't do that. That's kidnapping.
-We've already kidnapped him. -No, no, it--
We haven't because we didn't know he was in there.
Now we know that he's there. If we move him that is kidnapping.
But if we stay still--
if we stay still then they won't arrest us.
You know that's not a plan, don't you? Just standing still isn't a plan.
Ring Penny.
At Dowdens Kitchens,
we'll create your perfect fitted kitchen from scratch.
And with up to 50% off showroom prices,
there's never been a better time to head to Dowdens.
Dowdens, your home away from home.
Minimum contract applies. See terms and conditions for details.
Yeah. No, no, I understand.
Okay.
Thanks very much. Thank you.
-What did they say? -Well, they said that
we can look after him tonight and then tomorrow they'll...
Come and take him.
Probably, yeah. Yeah.
-They can't take him. -Oh, Nikki.
No. They can't. Look at them.
Yeah, but we still haven't got enough space.
Jase, please.
We left him on his own and he ran away and hid in the boot of a car for an hour,
and now he's holding that girl's hand so hard his knuckles are turning white.
If there is one thing that kid does not want it's his own space.
We finally got our family, Jase.
All we need to do now is hold onto it.
-Oh, my God. -What?
You asked me to marry you.
Yeah, well... technically, I didn't get that far.
Jason.
I can't believe I forgot you asked me to marry you.
No, it's fine. We can, you know--
We'll circle back to it.
I think we've got... more important things to focus on now.
-I'll get back to it. I promise. -Yeah, yeah. We can wait.
One expensive thing at a time, hey?
On second thoughts, I think we've waited long enough.
Do you know what?
I think we've got this.
Yeah? Me too.
Nikki, I'm scared.
Yeah. Me too.
You okay, sweetheart?