Have you sorted out Karen's hen do yet?
Yeah, I think so.
It's tricky though, 'cause I'm scared of checking my emails,
'cause I know there's gonna be bad news about the kids,
-so... -Yeah.
-What you gonna do for Scott? -Just gonna go pub.
-Is that it? -Well...
Jase.
How is that different from any other time you go to the pub?
-Scott's coming. -Jason.
It's a bit weird, innit? I didn't ask to be his best man.
I've only known the fella 18 months.
Yeah, he doesn't have many friends, does he?
Obviously not.
That's what you get when you pronounce it "choritho."
He's given me a list of three people that he wants to invite.
One of them is his barber.
He couldn't even remember who Scott was.
I had to describe the back of his head to the guy.
It's true.
Hello?
Yeah, yeah.
All right. Okay.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Jason!
-Look. -All right then. Thank you. Bye-bye.
I don't believe it! I got the promotion!
I got the promotion! I got the promotion!
-What? -We didn't get the kids.
You need to go.
-We need to talk about what this means. -No, we don't.
-Yeah, but does this mean-- -Doesn't mean anything.
This is not an emotional thing. This is just--
It's just atoms.
And at one point, the atoms were in a certain position,
and then they moved and they were in a different position.
On top of each other. But it is just atoms.
It doesn't-- Do not add emotion to atoms.
Fine.
-What you doing? -Going to the toilet.
-Freddy. -I'm bursting.
-All right. Don't let Lauren see you. -I won't.
-Daddy! -Oh, f--
Hi, darling.
How long have we been here now?
About four minutes.
Really? Feels like longer.
I know.
I miss "five minutes ago" us.
Yep.
Plenty more kids out there for us, Nikki, you know?
Yeah.
Did they not just feel like the ones though?
-Can you not see there? -What?
Can you not see them? There. Look.
-What? Here? -In the distance, there. Our kids. Look.
Can't you see them?
No.
That's because you're very short.
-Is that why? -Yeah.
So you can't see over the horizon.
Look.
Can you see them now?
-Yeah. I can. -Yeah? What do you reckon?
-They're very cute. -They're lovely, ain't they?
Yeah.
I quite like it up here, you know?
Can you not carry me around all day?
-No. -Why?
-You're actually heavier than you look. -You're cheeky.
-Oi. -What?
-Mrs. Manager. -I know!
-I know. Yeah. -All right, I tell you what then.
Show me your best manager point.
-That's easy. -Okay.
-Jase, that's really good pointing.
No. You've gone a bit disco there.
You've gone a little bit Saturday Night Fever.
Right, you wanna trust me.
-Yeah? -I've been a manager for six weeks, okay?
-So you know. -So, it's more like this.
-All right. Yeah. -Oh, turning. Okay.
It's your turn. Yeah, nearly. Ready?
Okay.
Wow.
You're ready.
You're good to go.
Here you go.
Thanks.
Where did you go?
My mum's.
Look, I'm sorry. It just-- It wasn't right.
So I am being dismissed by Miss Newman?
Well, it should never have happened.
It didn't happen.
You're ending an affair that never started.
-Are you gonna be able to get over me? -Well...
At least there's drawings of you all over my house.
That'll help.
It's a shame though.
I literally just decided you were worth pissing off my parents for.
On the plus side,
I got a feeling Raina's gonna get a good end of term report.
No, Deven.
That is not how I do things.
And she has a few things to work on, so...
Hiya.
Scott?
Kaz?
So, how come you needed an alibi? What was that about?
It's fine. It was just a miscommunication thing.
Yeah, but Karen, who were you miscommunicating with though?
I'm sorry, but what is this?
Okay. I figured out what you'd love most by thinking what Erica would hate most.
I hope it's got a bar. What a joke.
Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God. I bloody love it! Yes! -Yes!
-You beauty! -Yeah.
Hello there. Hi, are you in charge?
Is this what you thought it was?
Yes, Mum! She'll love it!
-Okay. As long as you meant it. -Yeah.
On our hens, we just used to have a sherry and a little cry.
Right. Well, there's absolutely no chance
of anyone putting their hand down my top here, is there?
Complete waste of my time.
-I got a babysitter for this? -I got a wax.
You'll be more aerodynamic then, won't you?
There we are.
How long you been barbering, Yusuf?
Eight years in Turkey.
Four years here. Not happy.
No?
Okay.
But thanks for coming.
No, I want to. Things are not good at home.
What grade is that?
-It was a four, I think. -No, no.
It makes your head look big, man. Like pumpkin.
Okay, good. I'm just gonna get some shots here, all right?
Let's at least take our coats off. Bloody hell, lads.
Hello, mate. Can I have four shots of tequila, please?
Hello? No. Hold on.
Hold on. Hold on.
-Yes. -Hi, babe. It's me.
-I need your help. -Why? What's happened?
Well, I've Jason'd it and I should've Nikki'd it.
And now it's like the worst stag do ever and Scott seems really upset.
Well, what do you want me to do about it?
Can we have one of your activities, please?
-No! They're mine! -Oh, come on.
-Where are you now? -Go-karting.
Go-karting! That sounds amazing.
I'd love to go-- Where you going afterwards?
Graffiti workshop.
Okay, can we have the graffiti workshop, please?
No! We want graffiti.
Look, you're going go-karting and then a graffiti workshop.
That's two arm things. Your arms are gonna get tired.
Okay, fine. But you pay for graffiti.
-And another session here. -Yes.
Thank you so much, Nikki. I love you.
It's booked for 11 people.
That could be a bit of a stretch, but...
Okay, bye.
All right. We ready?
-Yes! -Yeah? Come on!
Let's go.
Come on. Come on.
Go.
Okay, racers, we go on green.
Are you ready, Mum?
I'm in the zone, love!
All right.
Oi! Why you being weird?
It's nothing.
Okay. Fine.
-I slept with Freddy. -What? Why?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Erica, what are you--
-Hey, Nikki. -What?
-I'm thinking of calling off the wedding. -What?
-Karen! -And we're off.
Karen!
Wait! Wait!
Graffiti, yeah? The language of the disenfranchised.
Right, this one costs 69 quid a pop, so these lot are pretty franchised.
Thanks for coming, Dad.
Your mum says I've got to do one new thing every day
so if I do this, I don't have to eat the moussaka.
That's the spirit.
Yeah!
Oh, for God's sake.
This is so fun!
What are you doing?
Look, it's not what you think.
I slept with him as a father, not as a man.
And why you calling off the wedding?
-What? -I don't know!
You calling off the wedding?
You're calling off the wedding? Can I get changed?
-No! -Is it 'cause of Deven?
Absolutely not!
-Who's Deven? -And we're off!
Oh, God! Will you stop doing that?
Bloody hell!
The theme today for you is love.
Remember, everyone, to follow your passion
and be free with your art.
But also, remember, please, to put the lids back on the cans.
You are having too many head thoughts.
You need some gut thoughts.
Listen to what it's telling you.
-Just don't overthink it. -Don't overthink it.
Bloody hell, that's coming on, innit, John?
It's getting there, Jason. It's getting there.
Grasmere looking down from Loughrigg Terrace.
You avoid a lot of the mist you get up at Castlerigg.
How you getting on, Dad?
Nah, I've lost it.
-It's got away from me. -What is it, mate?
Harry and Meghan.
I have to tell you something.
All right, go on then.
Nah, don't worry.
All right. Good chat.
Karen!
-What you doing? -Would you just bloody talk to me?
-Pull over! -What? No!
Karen, pull over!
No!
-Just stop, Karen! Pull over! -What you doing?
Pull over now, Kare--
-Hey. -What's going on?
-I found his wedding vows. -All right.
They were from a template.
Okay.
That's all right. Loads of people use them.
What, those seven special words every woman wants to hear?
"My life changed on 'enter date here.'"
He's supposed to be a writer.
Yeah, but he's not a very good one, is he?
Yeah, but that's the thing, isn't it?
He thinks he is.
If he's not even self-aware, how is he gonna be me-aware?
Watch out!
-For God's sake! -What's going on?
We are going to get a drink.
-Finally. Right. -Thank God.
Come on. Let's go.
No! No, guys. I didn't plan for this.
It's not on the email!
Is it a satire?
No. It's just a unicorn in a hat.
Hello, mate. You all right?
Yeah.
No. Actually, no, I'm not.
Mate, I...
I slept with Erica.
And now I don't know what to do about Harper.
-Right. -Yeah.
-So, what do you wanna do? -I don't know.
I mean, she's great, but she's not my wife.
Maybe you should get her a card with that on it.
Sorry.
Sorry. Go on.
Seriously. Maybe if we gave it time, we could really be something.
Yeah, but, Freddy, do you not think you maybe want it to be something
so then you haven't, you know, left your wife and kids for nothing?
Do you think I love her?
I don't. No.
'Cause I don't think that that is what love is.
-What is it then? -I don't know. It's not that, is it?
It's peace.
You know when a sound
that you didn't know was there suddenly stops, right?
And then you get this second of, like, exquisite peace.
Yeah? It's like that.
But all the time.
Or maybe I'm just high off whatever's in these cans.
Is that what that is then? Peace?
No.
That's because I don't know where I end and she begins.
I mean, it hasn't totally come together as I would've hoped.
Do you wanna talk about it? Or--
No, I just need some time to think about things.
Okay.
Do you think that's gonna be more or less than a week?
Because obviously that's when the wedding is--
I don't know, Nikki.
You know how sometimes you see a bright star better
if you look away slightly?
I think Scott is like that.
So I'm just gonna look away for a bit and then look back really quickly,
and I will see it all.
-Yeah, I've seen your wrist. -Okay.
-Wristband? -We going to the pub.
All right, good.
-Hi! -Thank you.
These last few months have been so great.
I just think that you are this amazing and courageous person.
And you live so bravely and so boldly.
And when you laugh, it's this full--
If you're gonna break up with me, do you wanna just--
'Cause this is seriously an insane amount of time to talk at a person.
Okay.
Okay. Well, then,
I think it would be for the best if we broke up.
-But I hope you're not... -Okay.
...too upset.
Clearly not.
Have you seen Scott?
-What? -Have you seen Scott?
No.
Kaz?
Yeah, no, it's sticky.
I'm trying to look back and see it all.
Yeah?
But I can't.
Maybe it'll come when you least expect it.
-Yeah. -Yeah. Come here.
How does Jason make you feel?
I don't know, Kaz.
Come on.
So much noise going around my head.
About everything.
Took me three months to decide whether to buy these shoes.
I went into the shop seven times.
Became friends with the assistant. I went to see her band play.
I doubt every decision I make.
All these questions just swirl around in my head.
Except with him.
With him, when I met him...
All the questions just stopped.
And now I just-- I can't imagine him not being there.
If Scott wasn't there...
How would I feel?
I don't know, Kaz.
White wine, please.
That's Lauren. She's nine.
Oh, my God. Look at them.
They're so cute.
I know.
They just grow up so slowly.
Has anyone seen Karen?
-Karen. -No.
Scott.
Scott?
Scott, are you here?
Oh, God, no.
Oh, my God.
God.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
It was in a box in the garage.
Sorry, looking everywhere.
For what?
I thought you'd left.
No.
No. Here I be.
Come here.
Everything okay?
Yeah, yeah.
It's just been really noisy tonight.
The peace is nice.
Listen...
I wanted to thank you for putting up with...
You know, all of this.
What do you mean?
Well, I know that I'm not everybody's cup of tea.
Don't say that.
Kaz, there were three people at my stag do.
I might not be the most self-aware person in the world, but I know how to count.
And it's fine. I get it.
-I mean, I am a joke to most people. -You--
I mean, it's-- You know, I'm pretentious.
I use big, fancy words when they're not strictly perimetric,
but I look at you...
And I think, "I can't be that bad, can I?"
If you're with me.
I know how lucky I am.
I've been making some bad choices recently,
and I really think we need to talk about it.
You don't have-- It's--
I think that would be supererogatory.
What does that mean?
-All right? -Yeah, she's home.
-What's she gonna do? -I don't know, Jase.
Tonight, I was Karen and she was me,
and I'm gonna have to start being a lot nicer to her,
because it is much harder than it looks.
Are we okay?
Yeah.
No.
But we will be.
We always are.
Yeah. We always are.
Will you lift me up again, please?
Go on then.
-It's peaceful. -Yeah.
Don't forget you still owe me for graffiti.
What? Are you really gonna charge me for that?
Yeah, of course I am.
-Okay. -In the water!
No!
-Can we go home? -Yes, please.
Twenty, 40, 60...
Yeah, and the rest.
Thank you. There.