I don't even know why we're doing this. I've already got a shirt for work.
You need more than one outfit, Jase. You're not a cartoon character.
You're a manager now.
You can't go to work dressed in the same shirt you buried your uncle in.
And we can't sit at home waiting for news about James.
As soon as you forget, the thing that you're waiting for happens.
Everyone knows that.
I don't wanna be one of those people who sells out as soon as they make it.
I become a manager and then suddenly I'm wearing a £34 shirt,
like I forgot where I came from.
Jase, this is not Dylan going electric.
This is you looking smart on your first day after promotion.
Oh, no, it's just Karen.
She's asked me to go wedding dress shopping.
She never asks me to do things like that.
Right, I need to nail this.
Maybe I should take the morning off work tomorrow to do a mood board.
No, that's crazy. I'll just do a couple of hours when I get in tonight.
-Oh, look! This is nice. -Yeah.
-That's lovely. -You like that? Let's have a look.
Yeah. That's all right, actually, innit?
-Yeah? -Yeah, I don't--
-No, hang on a second. -Yeah?
-Those are little ducks. -I know.
-No, no. I thought they were dots. -No, they're little ducks.
Nikki, my dad's from Dagenham. He left school when he was 16.
-I can't wear a shirt with ducks on it. -No, they're nice ducks.
I'm gonna spend the whole day making sure people don't get close enough
to see they're not dots but little ducks.
-It's a lot of extra stress I don't need. -I'm sorry. We're gonna get it.
It makes you look grown-up. It makes you look like a manager, like a dad.
-Yeah, but I wanna be a cool dad. -No. No, no.
No one wants cool parents. My friend Cecile had cool parents,
and she had to do her homework on a mini trampoline
because her mum sold her kitchen table to pay for a clowning workshop.
We're just-- We're gonna be boring, okay?
-For James. -Hey.
You know it's not definite that we're getting him, don't you?
-Yes, yes. -Yeah?
No, I know. It's just... I've got a good feeling about it.
Let's have a look.
-Yeah. All right, then. -Yeah?
Is that the-- Yeah, right size. Let's do it. Okay.
-I think it's nice. -Okay.
Mate, just so as you know, they're little ducks.
They made 'em really small so they look like dots, but they're not. They're ducks.
FYI.
-Hello. -All right.
Hi.
Any news on James?
No, not yet, but we're hoping to hear today, so...
-Okay. -Okay, so...
I don't wanna get crazy with this
like some people do.
No. Yeah, no. Of course not.
It's not like I've had a vision of this day since I was a kid.
I'm not that sort of woman.
You know, I don't even wear perfume.
I just smell like whoever's shirt I bought from the charity shop.
It's fine. It's just a dress. Just a dress.
Okay.
-Oh, my God. -Oh, God.
What she come as?
-Hello. -Hello.
-Hello, muffin. Is this smart enough? -What, to go to a shop? Yes, Mum.
Yeah, but it is posh, though, isn't it?
If it's not smart enough, I'm really happy to stand outside.
-Oh, don't be daft. -You're not standing outside.
-You been doing some painting? -What?
No, it's my shirt.
-Should we go? -Oh, Jesus.
Come on. Let's go.
-Where is it? -Okay. It's just there.
Oh, fantastic.
Hi, guys.
Sweets there. So, everyone-- Okay.
So, guys. Wha-- Guys.
Come on, guys. Listen up a sec, please.
Lads!
The Wicked Witch is dead.
And finally, the townspeople are free.
No, no, seriously, though.
I've got a few things that I want to talk about.
A few boring things. Get them out the way.
So I'm gonna put on my little manager's hat.
Written a few things down. Oh, hang on a sec.
Right, anyway. Yeah. So, back to it.
All of your schedules should now be synced to the online diary, so please read.
Mate, if I didn't read Anne Frank's diary for my GCSEs,
what chance have you got? Do you know what I mean?
Nice one. Nice one.
No, no-- Seriously, though. Seriously do have a read.
Okay, I wanna talk about lesson planning, because it--
Sorry. I've just got to... Yeah.
-Hello. -Any news?
-I'm in a meeting. -Okay, you sure you got a signal?
I'm in London, and I'm on the phone to you, so--
Kaia, those are for everyone. Okay?
-Are you sure your phone's fully charged? -It was, but you keep calling me.
-Jack, mate. -Come on.
Listen, I've got to go.
Come on.
Yes. Sorry, sorry. Sorry.
Guys, so what I was saying about less--
All right. Okay, let's just do this one, and then we'll...
Hey! All right, let's-- Have a seat now.
Everyone stop...
Astra, Sienna, Lavinia.
All these dresses sound like people
that would have been a bitch to me at school.
This is all too nice. I should go.
-Would you like a drink? -Bubbly?
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
-Very nice. -I wasn't expecting this.
-Cheers to you. -Cheers.
Yeah, no. No fuss.
All right, ladies. How we doing?
-Hello. -Daryl.
-Hi. -All right?
My wife's ill. Sorry, I'm not usually here, so...
I don't really know about all the dresses and that, but I'll give it a whirl.
I'm exhausts mainly, yeah.
Yeah, she was gonna shut, but to be honest,
it's ten exhausts to one of these,
so shut the garage instead. You know what I mean?
Yeah, so go on. Who's getting married?
-Karen. -My daughter.
All right. Yeah, nice. Congratulations.
-And what's your fella's name? -Scott.
Scott? That's my middle name.
-How funny. -Funny.
What are chances of that? That's magic. Brilliant.
Right.
So... you know, style-wise, what ya--
What are you gonna go for then?
Well, just don't wanna look shit.
Okay, yeah. No, fair play, fair play.
Melinda.
The steer is "not shit."
-Sure, we can do that. -Thanks, love.
-Would you like to follow me? -Go on, Karen.
Go on. Enjoy yourself.
She'll have a nice time.
-"A structured applique bodice"-- -Yeah, I don't like it.
Okay.
Yeah, I do prefer the ones with the... long bit.
-Sleeves? -Yeah, sleeves. That's it, yeah.
Yeah, sleeves.
"The classic A-line is a tiered chiffon which drapes effortlessly"...
-No! -It's...
-Off she goes again. -Yeah.
-So is your wife very poorly then? -Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Both ends. Bless her. Yeah.
Here we go. Look at that. That's the business.
-Karen. -I like it.
-Yeah. It's nice with that. -Yeah.
Cinderella once said, "A dream is a wish your heart makes."
So, you know.
I don't know. It's fine. How am I supposed to feel?
Well, Carol says when it's the one, you cry. That's how you know.
Well, I haven't cried since 2012.
I don't sort of tend to go, but when I go, like--
-I'll go, do you know what I mean? -Do ya?
Yeah.
-Take your watch off. -Why?
You don't wear a Casio watch with a £2,000 wedding dress.
Well, how will I know what time it is?
It's your wedding day. People will tell you the time.
That's why brides don't get to the church on time.
People literally taking their watches off them.
Don't touch me.
Is it her first wedding?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Oh, it is. Right, yeah. Yeah, it's the best one, innit?
Come on, come on, come on.
Yeah!
Okay. All right, please.
-Forty. We're gonna make it forty. -Forty, forty, forty, forty, forty, forty.
Okay. All right. So--
Oh, no. Hang on, don't leave. We've still got lots of things to get through.
Guys. Guys, there's lots to get through still-- you can't--
Do you know what that was about?
Why hold a meeting if you've got nothing to say?
Bloody hell.
I'm having a lovely time.
Do you know, I've always sort of wanted to be in a women's prison.
There's so much camaraderie, et cetera.
What about this?
-Oh, no. -No.
Do you think she's happy?
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
You were always happy.
Well, in your way.
I just want to see her smile.
Any news?
No, not yet.
I've a good feeling, though.
What's it like?
What?
To have kids. To have all of this.
It's like the sun on your back.
-You know, I kissed a girl once. -Okay. All right.
-This one's not bad. -Come on.
We're coming. We're coming.
Yeah.
-We're coming. -We're coming.
Karen.
-That's beautiful. -Yeah.
-It is. -Is it?
Yeah. Yeah, it is, yeah. It's banging, that is.
-Innit? Yeah. It's ab-- -Yeah.
It's absolutely banging.
-I'm going, aren't I? -Yeah.
Come here.
Bloody hell! Three grand?
If I ask you for some management advice,
is there any chance of you not being smug and annoying?
-Mate, of course. -Freddy.
-Sure? -I'm sure.
Okay. All right. So what do I do?
Well. Here's the thing. Good managers are born.
Can't learn how to be a manager.
-Learned that at management school. -Smug and annoying.
-Hey, Jase. -Hiya. Little hug. Okay.
There you go.
You're so British.
-Any news on James? -No. Hopefully today or tomorrow.
Want some caraway seed bread?
-No, thanks. I'm trying to give it up. -No, try.
Yeah?
All right. Just as is? Okay.
-Oh, my God. -I know.
I tell you what, that is-- Yeah.
I'm obsessed with it. It's the main reason I can't afford to buy an apartment.
-What's going on? -Jason can't handle his staff.
No, it's not that. It's tricky.
Because it's-- Because they're my friends as well.
Yeah, well, that shit doesn't work.
You can't be their friend if you're their boss.
Why not?
Well, because people like to hate their bosses.
Not all the time.
-Did you hate your last boss? -Yeah, but it was different 'cause we--
Look, we go to the pub and things like that.
Yeah, well, you shouldn't because they go there to talk about you.
Look, you're the pilot, they're the passengers.
How'd you feel if the pilot stopped flying the plane,
came and sat next to you, and started eating a tiny bag of peanuts, huh?
You'd freak out. 'Cause then you're asking yourself, "Who's flying this plane?"
You're a grown-ass man. Not everyone needs to like you.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, ready in 20?
-Yeah. -It's gonna be a big one.
-The Bolivians are gonna come. -All of them?
Oh, yeah.
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
Great. Clever.
-How's it going, mate? -Yeah, it's great. It's great.
-I am knackered. -Yeah?
We got in at 4:00 this morning,
and we were up at 7:00 to go and help her friend move flat in Walthamstow.
Oh, no.
She's just so perky and undefeated.
It's like her shoulders haven't dropped yet. When does that happen?
Twenty-nine in the city, 32 in the smaller towns.
Right. Good.
Hello.
-What? When? -Go, go, go.
All right, I'm coming.
-I'm coming. See ya, mate. -Good luck.
Did they give a reason at all?
You can say.
Like if they felt that Jason didn't sell himself
or that he looked too stern in the photo.
-All me then, yeah? -No, okay, sorry, no, it--
Yeah, it could be me.
Maybe they thought I looked too young to be a mum.
Okay.
They chose another couple who already had a child of a similar age to James.
Okay.
Well, I mean, that hardly seems very fair, does it,
considering they already have one.
No, that's-- That makes sense.
It's nice that he'll have a brother or sister to play with, so...
that's the best outcome really, isn't it?
Look, I know you were all in, but this is not the last chopper out of Saigon.
So what happens next?
Well, when things don't just fall into place,
we just have to jiggle the key in the lock a little bit. Yeah?
So, how would you like to meet some kids?
Yeah? Yeah, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring it on.
Yeah, no, I think we'd really pop in person.
-Tomorrow. -Tomorrow?
"Adoption Activity Day."
Every six months or so, we get all the kids we haven't found homes for
and all the people looking for kids and smoosh them together in a big party
and see what happens.
It's a worrying indictment of a broken system,
but there is cake, so we plod on.
How many kids are we talking here?
25 or so. Budget for a migraine.
Actually, I have the same approach to dating.
Group them all together like a flat viewing.
Saves time, 'cause men my age are rapidly losing their looks.
Luckily, I'm only gradually losing mine, so it's advantage Penny.
Okay, so basically we have two hours to bond with a child
and get them to like us...
in fancy dress. Wow.
Oh, yeah. The theme is, "What I want to be when I grow up."
-So think on, you know? -Okay.
No. Don't worry, please. It's just a bit of football in a park with some kids.
Football? Just a bit of football in the p--
-That's good. Yeah, it's fine. -Yeah.
Yeah, don't race ahead, okay, and overinvest emotionally.
Oh, God, no. We've not been doing that. Have we?
-No. God, no. No, no, no. -No.
Sometimes you just miss someone in time.
I know.
It's a bit like breaking up with someone.
You've just got to, you know, you've got to move on.
Yeah, no, I don't really do that.
I'm still friends with everyone I've ever slept with, so...
Okay, that's unsettling.
What are we gonna do about costumes?
Oh, yeah. Well, what did you wanna be when you're older?
I wanted to be working on the phones in a car rental firm. So...
-There you go. -Absolutely nailed that.
-Boom. -Thank you very much. What about you?
-My dad's friend Michael. -Oh, yeah?
Yeah. He was so fun when I was a kid.
But then I got older and I realized that he was just an alcoholic. Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, he's dead now. Bless him.
Drunk himself to death, he did.
Are we okay?
Yeah.
The kids are gonna like us, aren't they?
Yes.
Penny's right. We just-- We shouldn't overthink it.
-Yeah. -We're going to kick a football around
with some kids.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Okay, we've got 20 minutes, so we just need to be in and out.
Yeah, no bother. I know what I want.
-Here, what about this? -No.
Nothing here is appropriate.
Is there any animal they can't sexify?
Armadillo? That's the one we can't crack.
Excuse me. Hiya.
Do you have any costumes for women that are more positive role models?
We got role-play, up there on the left.
No. I mean, the theme is what you wanna be when you grow up.
So something like businessperson or doctor, lawyer.
Yeah, that sort of thing.
We got a judge.
Yes. Perfect.
This is so bad.
Yeah.
No, I'm sorry. I can't go dressed like this.
Look, you--
No, all right. Okay. What about a princess?
Princesses are very successful.
Have you seen a real-life princess, Jase? They're miserable.
Not all girls wanna be princesses.
The last thing I'd want for a daughter is a princess.
Is there anything in this shop that is not demeaning to women?
-I'm a bit nervous. -What's that?
I said I'm a bit nervous.
-Yeah. I know. -And hot.
Imagine being inside this in Kenya.
I was thinking,
I might show them some of my martial arts moves to impress 'em.
-From when you were a teenager? -Yeah. What do you reckon?
Show me.
-Okay. Just hold that a second. -I'll have the hat.
So, you would be...
Are you making this up?
No, it's-- I've forgotten quite a lot of it.
But that's potentially good,
because if I don't know what's next, then neither do my opponents.
-Yeah. -So...
I'd leave it.
-Can I have my hat? -Yeah, your hat.
See, I knew we'd be the only ones in fancy dress.
-Good. -Yeah, but--
-We'll be memorable. -Yeah.
-We should probably go speak to a kid. -Yeah.
Look, he's on his own.
Yeah. All right, quick, before someone else gets to him.
Hello.
-Hello, mate. You all right? -Hi.
-I'm Nikki. This is Jason.
Hiya.
-What's your name? -Ethan.
-Hi, Ethan. Who's this? -He's my friend.
Do you know why we're here?
We're here to play with you and for you to see if you like us.
Why?
Well, so that you can maybe come back to our house and live with us.
No.
Oh, no. It's all right, mate. Not straightaway.
-No, no, no. -Ethan?
It's okay. No, we didn't do anything.
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday...
-Oh, shit. -Okay.
-I don't want to go. -We should-- Sorry. Sorry about that.
-Sorry, sorry. -Yeah, sorry about that.
-You said this was the right place. -Yes, I thought it was.
-Cumberland Gate. -No, this is Cumberland Green.
Well, we must be close.
No, no. No, Cumberland Gate is in Hyde Park, Nikki.
-This is Regent's Park. -Oh, shit.
-Okay. Can you run in that? -Yes.
All right, come on. Let's go.
Bus. Jase.
Thank you. Thank you.
It's fine. Look.
-We're gonna make it, all right? Just. -Okay.
-It's all right. It's all right. -Oh, God.
We'll get there.
Bonjour. Marble Arch.
Which Marble Arch, mate? Tube or not tube?
Do you want Marble Arch tube?
Tube? Station?
-Come on. Bloody hell. -Oh, my God.
No, Marble Arch. The bâtiment with the marble inside.
Okay, fine.
-Hiya. -Hello, where are you trying to get to?
-Marble Arch. -Marble Arch.
Marble Arch? Why would you wanna go see Marble-- Marble Arch is shit. It's tiny.
Everyone knows that. Where you from?
Paris.
Paris? You've come from Paris to see Marble Arch? Are you insane?
Just stand further away from the Arc de Triomphe. That's Marble Arch.
Marble Arch.
-Oh, my God. -Come on. Let's go.
Marble Arch.
Cumberland Gate, okay.
Which way?
-Over here. -Yeah?
-Why are they clapping us? -They think we're on a bloody fun run.
-Hello, mate. Hiya. -Hey. Hi.
Can you get us to the other side of the park, please?
No, mate. Look, don't give up. You're nearly there.
-Go on. You can make it. -We're not part of the fun run.
Look, I can't help people cheat. It wouldn't be fair on all the others.
-Yeah, but we're not part of-- -No, no, no.
-I'm not helping cheats. No way. -Come on.
-Sorry. -Sorry.
-Sorry. Sorry. -Cheers, mate.
-Hello. -Hi. Where were you?
-Are there any children left? -What?
-Children. -I don't think so.
Well-- It's okay.
We met the most amazing little girl.
We spent all afternoon together. I think she really liked us. And...
-Nikki. -She was... really lovely.
Nikki.
Sorry. She--
There you are. You got me worried there for a minute.
-Should we go back to the bus? -I need to get my bag.
Oh. Come on then. Let's go get it.
-Okay. Let me take your badge. -Okay.
I'll be right back. I won't be a sec.
Some of them just aren't ready.
-All right, sweetie. Come on. Let's go. -Okay.
Hey.
What are you crying for?
Because when it's the one...
...you cry.
Happy?
Yeah.
Then why have you got your head in your hands?
Shut up.