[whispering] Hey.
Jason.
- Jason. - [groans]
Oh.
Are you awake?
- What? - No, I…
- I'm just… I'm off. - Huh?
Just wanted to see you before I went to work.
Why? You see me all the time.
Oh. Okay, I'll let you sleep.
- Mmm, yeah. I'm gonna sleep. - [chuckles]
We're going through the latest sales data at work today.
- Mmm. - Honduras is up by 18%.
Honduras was my idea.
- [chuckles] - Is that good?
Yes, I told you.
It's really hard to get people holidaying there.
So many murders.
- Yay. That's grand. - Yay. [chuckles]
[sighs]
[Jason sighs]
I really hate these early starts with my new job.
I miss my mornings with you all.
[breathes heavily]
Do you think the kids would agree to getting up an hour earlier?
I don't see that gaining traction, no.
It's just that now that Kat's around, I think it's really important
that we show Princess and Tyler that we're a strong family unit.
Look, we discussed this.
Let's try not to worry about things until we have to.
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm. Okay.
[gasps] Oh, can we have pizza night tonight?
- Just the four of us? We love pizza. - Nik… Okay.
- That I think I can swing, yeah. - Okay, great.
- I'll let you sleep now. - Bye.
[kisses, chuckles]
[phone alarm chiming]
[groans]
Why are you still rowing?
Well, I can't turn up in America with tiny arms.
I need arms that look like they've rowed the Atlantic.
- Here you are. - Thank you.
Protein shake and scrambled egg powder.
I'll have it in about 15.
I only covered a mile today.
But you've been rowing for hours.
A strong headwind blew me back.
- What wind? - There's a strong wind
right where I'm meant to be. Just clear of the Azores.
But, Scott, you're not there.
I know.
I just feel better about lying
if I've rowed the Atlantic as realistically as possible.
- [doorbell chimes] - Who's that?
[gasps] Oh. I forgot to cancel Nadya.
Right, stay here or she'll see you.
Row quietly.
[Nadya] Hello?
Hi, Nadya.
It's okay. We don't need any cleaning today.
Why? My cleaning is not good?
I'm… cleaning this week.
[chuckles]
You make joke like Viktor Koklyushkin.
- I don't know who that is. - He's a funny man.
Makes satire on government.
Rest in peace.
Mm-mmm. It's Stevie.
She's ill.
My little potato?
- Hmm. - Stevie…
[stammers] She's infectious.
I don't care. I go to her.
Stevie, I make you ice bath.
She's asleep.
The Hoover, it'll wake her up.
I pick up the dirt with my hands.
No, Nadya. It is fine.
And we will call you when she's better.
You still pay me?
Yes, we'll still pay you.
Okay.
[sighs]
Why does everyone label their food? [chuckles]
Tahini. [chuckles]
I'm not gonna steal your tahini. [chuckles]
- There's exclamation marks. - [stammers]
Still can't get over Honduras.
- It's amazing work. - Oh. Hmm. Thank you. [chuckles]
Just a small bump. [chuckles]
No, it's great.
- S-So many murders. - [chuckles]
We just called the cities "bustling."
Apparently that means "a lot of murders" in the industry. [chuckles]
To be fair, the Mayan Ruins are incredible.
Oh, you, uh, you've been? [chuckles]
I, uh, rebuilt an old Jeep in Mexico and drove through Central America.
- That's impressive. [chuckles] - I'll show you.
Who's that?
- Chantico. - Chantico. [chuckles]
I adopted him as a puppy in Belize and he came with me.
[Nikki] Aw.
[Kerry] Don't you just wanna rub your face all up in his face?
Totally.
[chuckles]
- Totally. - [chuckles]
- Okay, this is Des? Des? Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
Okay. That doesn't feel like a name, but fine.
[sucks teeth] He is from pest control.
Apparently we've got mice.
- Aw. [chuckles] - Yeah, I don't know why.
I think it has something to do with
the 1,000 pastries a day the women in this office eat…
without a plate.
Women do love their pastries.
All right, Des, focus on the mice.
- [Des sighs] - What you gonna do?
Oh. SnapCore9X.
Mouse goes in, eats the poison…
- explodes. - Ooh.
So you can't just, um… just move them on somewhere?
You know, just relocate them?
It's just more cost-effective to explode them.
Oh. Yeah, no. That-That does make sense.
[chuckles]
[upbeat music playing]
- Hi. - Oh. All right?
Are you coming to the mixer tonight, Mr. Ross?
Again, it's Jason.
It's not Mr. Ross.
And no. What mixer? I've not been invited to a mixer.
- It's posted on the group WhatsApp. - Well, I had to mute that.
Pinging every five minutes, doing my head in.
Okay, next time we'll put a little card in the newsagents' window for ya.
Also, we just assume that you have to stay at home
and stare out the window at the suspicious cars
- parked in the neighborhood. - Right.
Come if you wanna come.
Just don't be all old and dress up smart or bring potato salad or anything.
Right. Are these jokes gonna last all year?
- If you do, yeah. - Yeah? [chuckles]
So, we've got "Theories and Models" now?
No, this is "Approaches and Methods." "Theories and Models" was Tuesday.
I thought it was Tuesday.
Do you not have your days written on your pillbox?
Okay, they're trailing off in quality now,
- just so you know. - [both chuckle]
[upbeat guitar music playing]
[advertiser] The SnapCore9X.
The most lethal mousetrap on the market.
- [mouse squeaking] - [advertiser] Attract.
[tense music playing]
Trap.
Destroy.
- [explosion] - [gasps]
[advertiser] SnapCore9X.
[upbeat guitar music playing]
[panting] How can I be a cleaner, Scott?
Yeah, every item of clothing I own is designer.
You can't even dry-clean this top.
If it gets dirty, you just have to throw it away.
- What are you doing? - [clicks tongue]
Was just layering up a self-tan.
- Oh, for God's sake. - I'm gonna need a rower's tan
and, uh, dropped a few shades from hiding in the basement.
Hang on.
Is that my Célique hydrating self-tanning face cream?
For the backs of your legs?
That is £200 a pot!
Give it to me!
Do not go and use the new pot in the bathroom,
because I've just bought it.
Is this the new pot from the bathroom?
Nope.
[tense, playful music playing]
[groans] Get back here!
Hi!
[vocalizing]
Ooh. [exhales deeply]
How was everyone's days?
Princess?
Yeah? Oh, yeah, it was fine.
- [Nikki] Yeah? - Yeah.
[sighs] What did you do?
Know what? It's all covered on my social media.
It's probably quicker to just check on there.
Ah. Got it.
All right. Well, who's excited for pizza night?
[cheers, chuckles]
Tyler, do you wanna have a little choose of your pizza?
Oh. Um, I'm going to Barbara's for dinner.
Oh, my God. Can you tell him?
It's ridiculous.
- Barbara. - It's her name.
[sighs] Yours is Princess.
All right, guys. Thank you very much.
Has she not got a nickname or a middle name that we could use?
- No. - 'Cause I-I'm thinking Babs.
- Oh, Jase. No. - [Princess] Way worse.
All right then. Well, we're all gonna have to adapt, aren't we?
It's ridiculous.
It's not ridiculous. Babs is ridiculous.
- Princess is ridiculous. - What about you?
Little… Ooh. Veggie supreme. That looks nice.
Oh, no, sorry. I'm going to Mum's
- to help her decorate her new place. - [Nikki] Oh!
She found this amazing warehouse community.
What's that?
Just like a place for creative people
and then also noncreative people who are going through a divorce
to, like, come together and live as one community.
- [Nikki] Very nice. - Yeah.
- Actually, probably gonna go now. - Right. Okay. Yeah.
- Well, uh, enjoy. [chuckles] - Bye.
- [Nikki] Bye. - Bye-bye. Bye.
Did you not tell them about the plan?
I'm sorry. Look, what could you do? They had arrangements.
Jase, this is how it starts.
- This is how we lose her. - Well, I don't know, Nik.
One minute you're worried about Kat leaving.
Now you're worried about her staying.
'Kay. Fine.
Fine. Go on. Choose your pizza.
[inhales deeply, sighs]
Oh, what?
There's a mixer at college tonight.
I told you about it.
- Did you? - It's been on the calendar for ages.
- Has it? - Yeah.
- Oh. - Y-Yeah.
I've gotta go. I'm gonna cycle there.
- Okay. - I won't be back late, all right?
- Okay. Okay. - I love you. I'm sorry.
- All right. See you, darling. Bye-bye. - Okay. Bye.
- Love you. Be careful. - Bye. All right.
[gasps] Unbelievable!
[clicks tongue]
[gasps]
["Boys in the Better Land" playing]
[whistles]
["Be Myself" playing softly on speakers]
Hi, Mr. Ross.
Call me Jason.
What's this?
I was looking forward to a big night.
It is big. There's a jigsaw race.
A jigsaw race is not a big night, okay?
- You all right? - Here you are.
Oh, no. I'm not security.
- No, I'm just… [stammers] - All right.
- [chuckles] - Well, what is a big night?
I don't know. Like a noughties night.
You know, like aggressive drinking and dancing
and a fight and a kebab on the way home. You see…
No. Again, no, I'm-I'm not security.
- I'm a student. I know. It's just… - [laughing]
It's just 'cause I'm wearing this. I cycled in.
- You don't even have a helmet. - Helmet.
What is wrong with your generation?
[stammers] Wear helmets, go to the doctors, use sunscreen.
Look after yourself, for God's sake.
Yeah, whatever. Hang on, lads. Let's have a look.
Yeah, all right. Crack on. Have a good one.
Come on, youse lot.
Let's have a proper night. Who's up for shots?
- Okay. - Sure.
Come on!
I'll have a wheatgrass shot, a ginger shot and a turmeric shot.
And a pint of Stella.
- All right. - Ta.
Yes! I found another corner piece.
[groans] God.
[person on TV] It seems Pierce has his pick of the litter.
But first, it looks like Carl's back is against the wall while Jenna and Mel…
[groans]
[chattering on TV]
["All the Wrong Decisions" playing on speakers]
Come on, guys.
Let's go out properly, huh?
I wanted to get home early tonight.
Oh, come on. Your gratitude journal can wait.
And honestly, what is the point of having a gratitude journal
if you're not gonna experience the life that you say you're grateful for?
It's not my gratitude journal actually.
It's my sleep journal.
And I'm seeing real benefits.
Look, I don't wanna generalize,
but every single one of your generation is a narcissist.
Why? Because we practice self-care?
Exactly. It's obscene.
And you're no fun. Well, how can you be fun
when you're treating your body like a temple?
Let me tell you, your body is not a temple, it's a rental car.
You've only got it for a little while. So let's see how far we can take it, huh?
Honestly, you're all gonna die alone at 103
- surrounded by your perfect gut bacteria. - [phone chimes]
It's blue light cutoff time.
Mate.
Do you know the-the coolest one of you would've been a nerd in the '90s?
I do spend a lot of time thinking about my gut bacteria.
Fine. Let's go out.
- Now we're talking. - [phone chimes]
- Caffeine cutoff. - Right.
We won't be having espresso martinis, will we?
No, we will not.
Give us your phones. They're a distraction from life.
Just to warn you, it will buzz every half hour to remind me to drink.
You don't need this to remind you to drink. I'm here now.
Let's have it.
[upbeat music playing]
- Light work. - Uh…
[scoffs]
- [coworker 1] Right. I'll see you then. - [coworker 2] Yeah, see you later.
[suspenseful music playing]
[shutters closing]
- Oh, hi. - [gasps]
- [chuckles] - [sighs] What are you doing here?
I've just got some stuff to finish up before tomorrow.
- What about you? - Yeah, no, same.
- Yeah. - Uh, better get on.
Yes. Me too. [chuckles]
Okay. Thank you.
So, first rule of a big night out is choose the first boozer well.
Nothing fancy.
No admission fee, velvet rope nonsense.
No. A big night out isn't high culture.
It's for the people. A sea of people. All equal.
Never ever chase the cool crowd.
- Mission completely accomplished. - [Jason] Come on.
["Rock & Roll Queen" playing on speakers]
Why are you drinking it like you're eating an oyster?
'Cause it's disgusting.
But you need to lay down a good base level of drunk first.
Trust me. You'll thank me later.
This is gonna be brilliant.
Yeah.
That's it. Get it down.
Now, this was my breakfast in my 20s.
This is gonna be amazing!
[sighs deeply]
[printer whirring]
Oh, is… Um… Is this yours?
Oh, uh… No, it's-it's okay. Don't, Nikki. I can--
- It's okay. - No, no.
Oh.
Oh, you're in a band.
Uh, yeah.
- Yeah. - Aw.
- Well, no. It's just me really. - Oh. [chuckles]
- I've got nowhere else to print it. - Ah.
So, that's why you're here, is it?
Yeah. I know I shouldn't use the office to do it.
Can you keep a secret?
["Sandstorm" remix playing]
[Jason] Right. Best thing about the '90s, no camera phones.
So you don't need to look cool. You can lose yourself.
All right. Listen, dance floor rules, yeah?
You commit or you quit.
Full body. Full heart. No judgment here.
And when the drop comes, hands in the air, all right?
It's coming.
Get ready.
It's coming. Any minute now.
It's coming.
[cheering]
There you go! [cheers]
Aren't people gonna see that you've taken them?
Well, no, because I'm gonna hide them in my locker,
come in early tomorrow morning,
- and then put them back out again. - Right.
From what I've been reading, you can't get rid of mice
unless you deal with the underlying problem anyway.
And is one of the underlying problems
that someone keeps collecting up all the traps?
Possibly. Yeah, yeah. It's not fair.
People bring their dogs into this office every single day
licking themselves, having a sniff of everything.
I've never had a mouse crawl up my leg
and put his entire little face into my crotch.
It's animal racism.
So…
- What are you doing? - [sighs]
Well, I'm no racist.
Oh. [chuckling]
- Oh, there's another one. - Ooh. Okay.
So, how long have you wanted to be a social worker?
It's a long story.
Yeah, I've got a couple of long stories at home myself.
[gentle club music playing]
I used to be in foster care.
I don't need no sympathetic head tilts to the side from you.
No. Absolutely. You're right.
And I didn't have many friends.
That's when I got into horses.
What, as in…
As in heroin? Skag?
- No, as in horses. - Actual horses, right. Yeah.
And there was this social worker.
She sort of took me on.
Found this scheme where I could go riding every week.
[Jason] Hmm.
She took me up there every Saturday with all the Emilys.
Me in my PE kit.
- I was the horses' favorite. - I don't doubt it.
Then, one day, some horsey woman gives me an envelope
to give to the social worker.
- Yeah. - I opened it.
It was a bill. To her.
There was no scheme.
- She'd been paying. - Right.
Every week for two years.
Wow. What did you say to her?
I didn't say anything.
Neither did she.
We just sort of carried on.
Anyway, I'd quite like to be that for someone.
This social worker…
she wasn't called Penny, by any chance, was she?
No, Cally.
- Who's Penny? - No, it's just a…
Well, we had a-a Cally too.
Right, that's enough of that. Come on.
Let's get some espresso martinis.
- [Kerry] Oh, look, there he is. - [Nikki] Oh, I think he looks hungry.
Ooh, try some of Jeanette's Halloumi with Dan's sweet chili sauce.
Okay.
- So, um… - Mm-hmm?
What's going on?
Is everything okay?
What do you mean?
Well, we're sat in the office watching mice in the middle of the night
with a bunch of mousetraps in your bag.
I just really love mice.
I mean, someone's got to look out for them, haven't they?
No idea what the real world's like, just…
innocently running around living their lives.
They can't see the dangers, can they?
They think they're grown-up just because they dyed their hair.
I feel like this might not just be about the mice.
[clicks tongue]
Our kids' biological mum's come back,
and no one else is worried about that except for me.
Well, that sounds like a lonely place to be.
I keep having negative thoughts about her.
Oh, I'm sure they're not that bad.
Last night I dreamed I'd hit her with my car.
- Okay… [chuckles] - No.
Well, you don't laugh.
A good person would never think that, not even in their sleep.
Kerry, I just… I know who this person is.
She makes you fall in love with her,
she can't handle it, she panics
and then she leaves.
And I feel like I'm the only one that senses that she's trouble.
Does she fancy a holiday?
Maybe to Honduras?
Because I know some bustling cities she could visit.
[laughs] "Some bustling cities."
I think it'd probably be better
if I was a slightly different person actually.
You have quite a low opinion of yourself, don't you?
Well, I mean, I would know.
I'm me.
Tell me one positive thing about yourself.
- Kerry. [scoffs] - Tell me one positive thing
- about yourself. Come on. - [groans, chuckles]
[scoffs]
I'm very good at measuring out the right amount of pasta when I cook.
Okay. Well, that's a start.
Yep. [chuckles]
Because to those of us who don't know you, you seem…
pretty great.
[breathes deeply] Okay, I need a dessert.
[sighs]
I think Pat's got some tiramisu.
[exhales]
[tense music playing]
- Oh, no. - What's wrong?
We missed one.
[Kerry sighing] Oh, no.
- Is it… - I don't know.
- Do you want me to-- - Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's…
exploded.
Do you know what? That was actually quite fun.
Well, it's only quarter past 11:00. So, uh, let's go on somewhere, shall we?
I'm pretty tired.
Well, let's have a kebab at least. Come on. Yeah?
Got to have a kebab. It rounds off the night, innit?
You learn things about yourself, truths become clear.
A kebab shop's old-school therapy.
I've got parents that pay for actual therapy.
Have ya?
Phones, do ya?
All right.
- All right. Well… - Thanks, Mr. Ross.
- Yeah, get home safe, all right? - Okay.
- Night. - [Jason] Bye.
- What's going on? What's happening here? - What? Nothing. Nothing's going on.
You know phones aren't the only way people distract themselves?
Why did you need a big night out so badly?
[Kerry] We're here to remember…
Mouse.
- [sentimental music playing] - Friend, colleague…
Father.
Mouse was-was always there with a smile and a joke,
the-the, uh, kind of mouse who--
Sorry, it-it-it makes it sadder if he was a great mouse.
Gotcha.
He was a bit of a dick of a mouse actually.
- Was he? Really? - Yeah.
When he went to parties,
he'd always drop into the chat that he brought the expensive wine.
And he's always like,
"Why don't you have some of that one that I brought? It's really nice."
There's literally… There's no need.
We're all friends and no one's asked you to bring an expensive bottle
- so… [chuckles] - Exactly.
And when he got invited to social events,
- he'd always bring his kid. - Oh.
And you can't really say anything. Obviously.
But it's like, "Come on, man. It's a totally different vibe now."
Good riddance then.
[emotional music playing]
- You okay? - Yeah. [chuckles]
You just, you…
You do your best and you lose focus for one minute
and then something happens that you can never take back.
[inhales shakily]
- [chuckles] Sorry, uh… - No.
- I, um… I've got to, uh… - Yep. Yep.
- [chuckles] Yeah. - Totally. Hey, Nikki?
- Hmm? - Uh, if you wanna come…
Sure. Yeah. [chuckles]
- Yeah? - Yeah. [chuckling] Thanks.
Cool.
Well… [chuckles]
- She just turned up at your flat? - [Jason] Just turned up.
And, listen, I understand that it's difficult,
but Nikki's gone into complete panic mode.
You have to give this relationship time to breathe.
You can't just keep staring at it every second of the day,
waiting for it to blow up like a Chinese fireworks factory.
And, also, um, my brother-in-law's rowing the Atlantic.
Long lost mum, upset wife and a brother-in-law in the Atlantic kicker.
That is a pickle.
Look, of course Princess is gonna wanna spend time with her mum.
Biological mum. It's her mum. For goodness' sake.
Anyway, it's…
I'm finding it very stressful
and I… I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it.
Well, have you tried sounding less like a whiny Insta girl
who's making it all about you?
I mean, you can see how hard this must be for Nikki, right?
- Yeah? - Are you being there for her?
- I'm there for her all the time. - Really?
'Cause it kind of seems like you're in a kebab shop at midnight.
'Cause if this was a second dad on the scene, I doubt I'd be seeing this,
"all you need is love," tie-dye, drum-circle of a man I see before me now.
It'd be like those stags when they go at each other with antlers.
Do you know what? I did get weirdly jealous
when Princess put up a poster of Harry Styles in her room.
- [chuckles] - I panicked and I bought a velvet jacket.
No, you'd be arm-wrestling this guy at her 18th birthday party
right there on the present table.
So if I were you, I'd be building up a bit of credit
for the day Princess gets obsessed with her new deadbeat, neck-tatted barista dad
who gives her and her mates free lattes.
You see, this is it. This now.
This is the magic of the kebab shop.
Even you're wise here.
You know what? Maybe we should come here once a week.
- No. - Talk about it.
- I don't think you've really understood. - You're gonna make an amazing Cally…
one day. You are.
[tender music playing]
- Mate. - Yeah?
Do you do pizzas by any chance?
[gentle pop music playing]
Hey. Wake up.
[sighs] What time is it?
6:30.
[Nikki groans]
You're missing pizza morning.
Huh?
Ridiculous.
[no audible dialogue]
[grunting]