1 00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:20,395 [sniffs] 2 00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,903 [inhales deeply] Hmm. 3 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,619 [breathing heavily] 4 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,545 [smacks lips] That's the one. 5 00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:51,510 I have just found the perfect place to be murdered. 6 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:54,429 Oh, are you still planning on playing that stupid game? 7 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:55,389 Absolutely. 8 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:58,892 I see my birthday as the perfect chance for everyone to just come together 9 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:02,396 and have lots of fun within the terms of the rental agreement. 10 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,858 So you're feeling better about turning 50? 11 00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:08,277 Yeah. Yeah, I'm feeling very positive. 12 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,071 Very positive indeed, actually. 13 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,698 - Aw, well, good. - Hmm. 14 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,860 Goodness me. Look at this. 15 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,990 Oh, wow! 16 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,159 Why do you always drive? 17 00:01:57,159 --> 00:02:00,662 Well, your dad's developed terrible road rage since becoming a taxi driver. 18 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:03,999 It's embarrassing, Jase, just gesticulating to everyone. 19 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:07,085 Well, you know what? Maybe if you gesticulated at a few more people, 20 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,463 I wouldn't have to. How about that, hey? 21 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,673 Oh, my Go-- Honestly, that gets me every time. 22 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:12,841 [car horn honks] 23 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,718 - Oy, oy. Here they are. - Yay! [chuckles] 24 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:16,345 You made it then? You all right? 25 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,388 Sorry we're late by my standards. 26 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,474 [Princess] Still getting used to my new car. 27 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,226 [Jason] How was she to drive? 28 00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:24,186 Yeah. She's a good little runner. 29 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,980 I'm gonna take the engine apart when we get home. 30 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,732 - Why? What's wrong with it? - Nothing. 31 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:31,902 Please tell me you strip your engine down for monthly checks. 32 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,362 Oh, yeah. Definitely. 33 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:36,073 I mean, it's slipped a bit recently possibly, but-- 34 00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,199 Here. 35 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:40,744 - Princess was taking notes. - Oh, yeah? [laughs] 36 00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:43,622 - Head notes. - [Jason] Head notes. 37 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:45,666 - Hello! - This is nice. 38 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,125 - You all right? Yeah? - Yeah. 39 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,418 [Jason] Oh, yeah. There they are. 40 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,003 I'll tell you what, the drive's long enough. 41 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,380 - [Nikki chuckles] - How rich are you? 42 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:54,758 Oh, no. No. No, listen... [stammers] ...it's just ours for the weekend. 43 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:58,387 Billiard room's actually quite cramped. And the peacock pictured online, 44 00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,389 - he's rather conspicuous by his absence. - Okay. 45 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,558 - Happy birthday! [chuckles] - Oh-- [chuckles] 46 00:03:02,558 --> 00:03:04,434 - [Jason] Happy birthday to you. - [car horn honks] 47 00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:09,106 Oh, my. Why the hell have they brought that thing? 48 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:12,609 - Are there not enough rooms for everyone? - No, there's plenty of rooms. 49 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,444 They just prefer the caravan. 50 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:15,445 Hello! 51 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,489 Do you know they've got everything in that thing? 52 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,574 - Right. - No, no, I m-- 53 00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:20,951 Oh, no, I mean literally everything. 54 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,245 You can test it. 55 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:29,376 - Aw. Here she is. Hello. - Hello. [chuckles] 56 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,460 Wow. 57 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:36,258 Yeah, so just wondering how the speech is coming along. For after dinner? 58 00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:39,094 Yes. Yeah. Yeah, it's all good. All good. [stammers] That's all-- 59 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:41,471 - That's all in hand. - Wonderful. And I-- [stammers] 60 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,931 - If it doesn't hem you in... - Hmm. 61 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,142 ...I do wonder if you might cap it at half an hour. 62 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,728 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, definitely. I mean-- [stammers] 63 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,479 - Currently a squeak under that, but-- - Right. 64 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,106 - So that's-- - Yep, great. It's just-- 65 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,816 I only have three hours for the parlor games. 66 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:53,901 - Ah. - I mean, 67 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,111 there's barely enough time for one round of The Minister's Cat. 68 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,280 - Sure. - Let alone, uh, Are you there, Moriarty?, 69 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,616 Parson's Biscuits, or indeed, Call me Seamus. 70 00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:04,745 And don't worry. Yes, we will be ending on a round of Pass the Slipper. 71 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,580 - Don't want a riot on our hands. - [both chuckle] 72 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,582 - I know a good game. - Oh? 73 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,168 - It's called Does It Float? - Yeah? 74 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,962 You get a bowl of water and see what things float. 75 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:16,339 - Right. - Hmm. 76 00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,716 Shall I repeat the rules again? 77 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:23,472 No. No, but let's do keep the dialogue open on that. 78 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,557 - Okay. Will do. - Here, mate. Here you go. 79 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,019 Dad, watch this. 80 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:17,401 Uh, hi. Uh, sorry, I just wonder, do you have a hole punch in your caravan? 81 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:18,652 A3 or A4? 82 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:20,904 [stammers] A4. 83 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,289 - [knocking] - Unpacking then? 84 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,791 You missing your granny? 85 00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:35,294 It's hard, innit? 86 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:40,716 When people were around and then they're not. [sighs] 87 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,013 Some people you carry with ya. 88 00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:49,016 I know, but they're heavy. 89 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:51,643 Yeah, they are. 90 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,062 'Cause the card is quality. 91 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,109 Then one day, they seem lighter, 92 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:04,198 and you realize you're not carrying them anymore. 93 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,950 How do you know when it's time to stop carrying them? 94 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,286 I honestly don't know. 95 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:12,664 [Scott] It's time! 96 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:15,667 [crashing] 97 00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:17,377 It's time! 98 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,298 It's time! [chuckles] 99 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,052 God, Scott. 100 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:28,138 Oh, no, no, no. [stammers] It's the Lord of Slaughterbridge Manor. 101 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:33,018 Welcome! Welcome, everyone. Do come in, come in, come in. Come in guys. 102 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,937 - [stammers, chuckles] - [chuckles] 103 00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:36,980 - The gong woke me up. [chuckles] - Well, yes. 104 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,316 I had a tiny driving sherry on the trip down. 105 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:42,361 Right. When this is all over, I think-- I think we should have a little chat. 106 00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:44,404 Oh, yeah, okay. That'd be nice. 107 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,450 - [Karen] Scott. - Uh, who's Scott? 108 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,202 Well, I will tell you who Scott is. 109 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:52,412 He's a man who won't listen to my advice when I tell him 110 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,748 - that nobody wants to play-- - Hello! 111 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,543 And welcome to Slaughterbridge Manor. 112 00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:03,632 Shortly, your host, Lord Slaughterbr-- That's me. I'm Lord Slaughterbridge. 113 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,759 Sorry, I have to-- [stammers, smacks lips] 114 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:11,098 Did ask Karen to, uh, read this bit, but she was... [stammers] ...not keen. 115 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,558 - [chuckles] - [Scott] Um, okay. 116 00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:17,980 So I am Lord Slaughterbridge, and I am inviting you all here to solve a murder. 117 00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:18,939 - [gasps] - Ooh. 118 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:24,069 Yes, that's right. I am soon to be murdered by someone in this room. 119 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,154 - Yeah. I can see that for you. - [exhales sharply] 120 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,990 - [Jilly chuckles] - [Nikki] Princess. 121 00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:31,994 But who are the suspects? Hmm. 122 00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,581 - Take a prop. - Oh. 123 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:42,087 Ah, Slenderwell, the venerable vicar. 124 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:43,255 - [Nikki] Ooh. - [Scott] Hmm. 125 00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:46,717 Madame Rashevsky, 126 00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:48,677 - the eccentric spiritualist... - Hmm. 127 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,053 ...who can commune with the dead. 128 00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:53,473 [gasps] I've always felt a connection with the other side. 129 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,392 - [chuckles] - Jason is... 130 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:58,562 - [groans] Come on. - ...Dick Malone, the hard-boiled PI. 131 00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:01,440 He can distill a man to his soul with a look. 132 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,524 [Princess] Mmm. 133 00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:04,693 Adept to using liquor to loosen tongues. 134 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:07,196 - M-Maybe we could pair up. - All right, Jill, love, yeah. 135 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:09,323 - [Nikki] Bloody hell. - [Scott] Ah, the doctor. 136 00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,867 Always trustworthy. Apart from the ones on the news. 137 00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:14,328 Oh, okay. So the men are the detectives and the doctors. 138 00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:17,247 Oh, my God. Can't we have an afternoon off? 139 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,332 Well... 140 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,877 [Scott] Oh, Delilah Deville. 141 00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:26,048 Hot lips! The young, cunning femme fatale, corrupting any man she-- 142 00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:27,716 Right. Okay, all right. I think we got it. 143 00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:33,138 Um... [smacks lips] ...works with, uh, respectfully, whilst earning equal pay. 144 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,097 Better. 145 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:36,390 Langley Truman, ace newshound. 146 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:37,851 [Nikki, Karen chuckle] 147 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,645 - Isabella and Isadora Slaughterbridge... - [Nikki] Mmm. 148 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:43,982 ...granddaughters and heirs to the Slaughterbridge fortune. 149 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,651 - [Nikki] Ooh. [chuckles] - Interesting. 150 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:46,568 Karen. 151 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:50,614 - And last but not least, Carla Santiago... - [Nikki] Aw. [chuckles] 152 00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:53,367 - ...assistant to the Spanish ambassador. - [Nikki, Princess chuckle] 153 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:56,286 [Scott] How about that? They didn't have, uh, children's options. 154 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,914 But, um, don't worry, it's a largely ceremonial role. 155 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:04,545 Now, once you have discovered my body somewhere in the house, 156 00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:09,383 you will follow the clues that will lead you to the murderer among us. 157 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:12,678 And you may start your search in one minute. 158 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,472 Actually, make it two, 'cause it's all the way down the corridor... 159 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:18,392 [smacks lips] ...or is it? 160 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:21,103 Look, we don't have to play this if you don't want to. 161 00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:23,355 I mean, we can just go and have a drink on the-- 162 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,816 All right. Well, he's gone already, so-- [stammers] 163 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,568 - [Jason] Nik, Nik, Nik. - [Nikki] Yes? 164 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,653 Listen, we need to talk about Scott. 165 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,321 - What, like an intervention? [chuckles] - No, 166 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,782 I mean this speech that he wants me to give after dinner. 167 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:35,701 - I haven't written it. What do I say? - I don't know. 168 00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:38,370 - Just stuff you know about him. - I don't know anything about him. 169 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:41,290 Jase, you've known him for years. You were best man at his wedding. 170 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:44,251 Just-- I don't know, just draw on your shared memories. 171 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,754 - Dad. - Nikki. 172 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:48,881 Oh, yes? 173 00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:51,341 Do you just wanna sack this off and go and eat all the canapés? 174 00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,051 Yeah. 175 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:57,389 Dad. Have you got any, um, observations about Scott, 176 00:09:57,389 --> 00:10:00,809 like memories, funny stories, anything for this bloody speech? 177 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,728 I try to block him out for the most part. 178 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,191 He's tall. I've noticed that. 179 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,862 Thanks very much. Yeah, that's-- that's very helpful. 180 00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:14,907 [sighs] 181 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:25,584 Okay. Well, he's not in there, so I'm sort of done, really. 182 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,171 I think I need to move on. 183 00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:33,175 Well, we can try the drawing room, but I really CBA, TBH. 184 00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:35,010 No, not like that. 185 00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:41,266 I, um-- [sighs] I downloaded this dating app. 186 00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:42,768 Oh. 187 00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:46,772 But I don't know what to do. I mean, it's a different world now. 188 00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:50,150 Well, it's not changed that much. I mean, how did you get together with grandma? 189 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,862 We went for gimlets on Friday, and I wrote to her father on the Monday. 190 00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:58,283 Okay. [stammers] Well, yeah, it's changed a bit. 191 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:02,663 Right. We need a description of yourself for your bio. 192 00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,790 - Here. What about this? - [sighs] 193 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,047 This is an alphabetized list of your medical issues. 194 00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:14,383 You think it should go serious to mild? 195 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,469 I'll put "health-conscious." 196 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,556 Okay. What about a profile photo? 197 00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:23,267 Hmm. Oh, here. 198 00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:26,353 - Yeah. - [Princess sighs] 199 00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:28,605 [groans, chuckles] 200 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,776 Aw, Granddad. [chuckles] 201 00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:35,904 I think we may need some new ones. 202 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:43,495 - Shouldn't we be looking for Uncle Scott? - Well, we are, mate, in a way. 203 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:46,331 Look, if I don't find something to put in this speech, 204 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,584 then he's not going to be the only one dying. Trust me. 205 00:11:48,584 --> 00:11:51,211 And anyway, there's loads of people looking. 206 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,754 Someone else will find him. 207 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,315 I mean, the man's invisible. 208 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:14,902 I put in "Scott Filbert" and it said, "Did you mean 'soft filters?'" 209 00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,571 Then it takes me through to this cameras accessory website. 210 00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:21,533 How're you getting on? You found anything? Let's have a look he-- 211 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:25,454 Yeah, I don't know if I can weave 30 minutes of material 212 00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:29,333 out of an air fryer review and an out-of-date listing on Companies House. 213 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:34,421 It may be time for some old-fashioned detective work, my friend. 214 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,590 Follow me. 215 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,467 Shouldn't we be looking for Scott? 216 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,886 It's fine. There's loads of them. Someone else will find him. 217 00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:43,847 Okay. Push your lips forward like you're gonna give someone a kiss. 218 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:46,934 Slims the face. Now stand at a slight angle. 219 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,146 Okay, and lift your arms away from your body to create a gap. 220 00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:52,439 It makes you look thinner. 221 00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,111 Okay, forget that one. Just smile. 222 00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:01,532 Think of something that makes you happy? 223 00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:05,452 Right. Remember before we left, 224 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:08,539 when we proved that mechanic wrong by replacing the distributor cap ourselves 225 00:13:08,539 --> 00:13:11,500 by first locating the cap, removing it from its housing, 226 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,669 being mindful of the spark plug wires 227 00:13:13,669 --> 00:13:16,588 and then carefully attaching the spark plug itself to the new cap? 228 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:17,714 Head notes. 229 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,049 There he is. 230 00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:23,804 Okay. Good, but we're gonna need some more. 231 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,269 All right, Princess? 232 00:13:30,269 --> 00:13:33,939 Hello. I just wondered, have you got champagne flutes, 233 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:37,067 a straw hat and some reading glasses? 234 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,695 Ooh, and some golf clubs. 235 00:13:39,695 --> 00:13:40,946 Righto. 236 00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,448 Should we be going through his stuff? 237 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,743 Look, if you wanna know a man, then check his pockets. 238 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:49,788 - Come on, Scott. Give me something. - Library card. 239 00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:53,125 Uh, when does it expire? [sighs] 240 00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:54,877 [sighs] Quite soon. 241 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:57,462 Is that good speech material? Lost my bearings. 242 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,800 Yeah. I'll get a couple of minutes out of that. 243 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,886 All right. Good. Good. Keep looking. 244 00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,247 Sip from the glass. 245 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,708 Uh, maybe I'm too past it for this. 246 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:38,504 You look great, but there are things we can do to make you look younger. 247 00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:40,047 [groans, sighs] 248 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:43,008 We're down to mid-sixties already. Do up the top button of your shirt. 249 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,054 Hey, don't make me look too young. I don't want to attract younger women. 250 00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:49,348 I can't deal with that in-your-face, 251 00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:51,808 quick-talking sass of woman in their early sixties. 252 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:52,893 Got it. 253 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,194 I found someone, and I swiped right. 254 00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:04,279 You're supposed to swipe on lots of people. 255 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,657 That's disgusting. 256 00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:07,741 - [Jilly] Nikki. - Yeah? 257 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,117 - I'm worried. - Oh? 258 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:13,121 Ever since I put this hat on, I feel that I've awakened something within me. 259 00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:17,292 I-I think I saw a figure in the window upstairs. 260 00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:19,753 Something not of this world. 261 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:22,673 Right. We're definitely gonna have that chat. 262 00:15:24,508 --> 00:15:25,509 - Here you go. - Uh-- 263 00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:28,095 - Spirit level? - Yes. 264 00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:30,138 - Glue stick? - [chuckles] Yes. 265 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,390 Some chalk for a pool cue? 266 00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:33,809 Be no point in bringing the pool cues without it. 267 00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:34,893 [sighs] 268 00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:37,312 Junior badminton set? 269 00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:41,441 Y-- Um, no. I don't think we do. 270 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,735 - Get in! [chuckles] - [chuckles] 271 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,781 Hang on. Ho-- Hold on. Where's Scott? 272 00:16:09,511 --> 00:16:10,512 Have you been... 273 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,807 there the whole day? 274 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:19,062 Well, we couldn't find you anywhere, could we? 275 00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,606 - [guests clamoring] - I mean, we've been-- 276 00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:22,357 - we've been worried sick. - [Jason] We were. 277 00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:24,109 - [groans] - [Jason] Yeah. 278 00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:27,654 - Jason. - Hmm? 279 00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:29,781 Will you do your speech now? 280 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,200 'Cause he said after pudding. 281 00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:35,787 [clinking] 282 00:16:37,456 --> 00:16:38,707 - [guests murmuring] - Hello, everyone. 283 00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:42,002 Yeah. Thank you. Speech time... 284 00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:49,551 Right. So, we are gathered here today 285 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:55,057 to celebrate 50 great years of Scott Filbert. 286 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,977 [guests cheering, chuckling] 287 00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:02,648 I mean, what can you say about Scott Filbert? 288 00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,568 He's a man. 289 00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:09,029 A tall man. 290 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,198 A married man. 291 00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:15,618 A tall, employed, married man 292 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:19,289 with a house and a wife and a daughter. 293 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,306 Jase? 294 00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:47,192 He's a library member. 295 00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:51,071 But not for long. [laughs] 296 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:55,284 - [Jason sighs] - I'm really sorry. 297 00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:59,204 He is a man with very high standards. 298 00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:00,664 Not for him, 299 00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:03,083 an air fryer with long frying times 300 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:08,088 as opposed to the more conventional, uh, deep fat-- deep fat ones. 301 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,592 Oh, Stevie's here, ladies and gentlemen. 302 00:18:11,592 --> 00:18:14,845 - [guests applauding, chuckling] - [Jason] Give it up for Stevie. Yep. 303 00:18:14,845 --> 00:18:16,138 Hello. 304 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,933 - [Jason] Um, big wallet fan. - [mouthing] You okay? 305 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,018 [Jason] Loves his wallets. 306 00:18:21,018 --> 00:18:23,562 Other famous Scotts include-- 307 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:31,028 Uh, yeah. [stammers] I think the reason he's, uh, struggling 308 00:18:31,028 --> 00:18:33,906 to say anything meaningful is, um... 309 00:18:33,906 --> 00:18:37,492 [inhales deeply, stammers] ...there's really nothing meaningful to say. 310 00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:39,703 - No. - [Scott] No, no, no-- Well, I mean, 311 00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:42,789 I was-- I was, uh, dead for three hours. Nobody noticed. 312 00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:46,210 Well, I think I died as I lived: Unnoticed. 313 00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:51,381 A man of no consequence, admired only for his looks. 314 00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:54,927 But I've been given a second chance at life today, 315 00:18:54,927 --> 00:19:00,432 a second chance to lead a life worthy of being missed. 316 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:04,978 And the man I am today need not be the man I am tomorrow, after all. 317 00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:07,022 So I've made a decision. 318 00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:13,362 And to raise awareness of rising sea levels-- 319 00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:16,532 something that's been on Stevie's mind-- 320 00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:21,787 I have decided to single-handedly row the Atlantic Ocean. 321 00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:31,380 [smacks lips] Okay. 322 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,385 Yeah, I'm just gonna-- 323 00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:42,724 [chuckles] 324 00:19:53,402 --> 00:19:56,196 Um, is everything okay? 325 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,241 - Very much so, yes. - Well, I only ask 326 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:02,202 'cause you've just announced you're gonna row across an ocean. 327 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:05,497 That's right. I am. 328 00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:09,084 [laughs] Okay, okay. Well, what's brought this on? 329 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,382 I've done very little with the time I've been given, Karen. 330 00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:20,637 And it turns out, the little I have done has been, um... [smacks lips] ...evil. 331 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:22,014 [chuckles] What? 332 00:20:22,014 --> 00:20:23,515 Two years ago, I wrote a report 333 00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:26,476 advocating the expansion of drilling rights in the Arctic. 334 00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:30,772 And now they drill for shale gas in East Greenland, 335 00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:34,943 which just happens to be the main breeding ground 336 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,196 of the Weddell seal. 337 00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:38,989 There he is. 338 00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:42,659 Yeah. Yeah, it's a seal with an annoying face. So what? 339 00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:47,539 Well, since drilling began, the population has decreased by 40%. 340 00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:50,876 I have all but killed off the Weddell seal, 341 00:20:50,876 --> 00:20:52,711 - one of the main sorts of seal. - Oh. 342 00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:55,380 I didn't even know there were different sorts of seals. 343 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,591 I just thought there was one. Seal. 344 00:20:57,591 --> 00:20:59,301 Well, there probably is now, thanks to me. 345 00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:00,385 Do you know what, Scott? 346 00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:02,971 Maybe they need to be less fussy about where they have sex. 347 00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:05,933 I mean, I've seen seals. They're lucky they're getting laid at all. 348 00:21:07,184 --> 00:21:11,688 You know I've pretty much failed at everything I've done in life. 349 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,441 Except Stevie. 350 00:21:16,235 --> 00:21:17,694 I am not gonna fail her. 351 00:21:18,946 --> 00:21:21,698 I am not gonna actively destroy her future. 352 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:24,701 Oh, come on, Scott, you're 50 years old. 353 00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:27,538 I mean, you don't even go to the gym. 354 00:21:27,538 --> 00:21:30,165 Stevie loves you the way you are. 355 00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:32,626 Listen, my dad died when he was 51 years old. 356 00:21:32,626 --> 00:21:34,419 That makes you think, doesn't it? 357 00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,047 I mean, how much more time do I have? 358 00:21:37,047 --> 00:21:39,258 Well, he fell off the roof trying to fix a TV aerial. 359 00:21:39,258 --> 00:21:42,177 - I mean, that's hardly hereditary, Scott. - It makes you think. 360 00:21:45,389 --> 00:21:46,849 It's time for me to make my mark. 361 00:21:49,685 --> 00:21:50,686 Come on. 362 00:21:57,818 --> 00:22:01,071 That's why I was asking you about stories for it. [shushes] 363 00:22:01,071 --> 00:22:03,156 - Oh, shall I ca-- No? - No, not now. 364 00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:08,036 Okay. Well, if we're gonna play Parson's Biscuits, 365 00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:10,205 we best get started or we'll be here till midnight. 366 00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:12,624 So, everyone take off their left shoe, 367 00:22:12,624 --> 00:22:15,836 think of their favorite foreign secretary and don't tell anyone. 368 00:22:15,836 --> 00:22:18,088 - No, we don't wanna do that, Scott. - All righty then. 369 00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:28,432 - I know a game. - Oh, no. Not now, love. 370 00:22:28,432 --> 00:22:29,641 It is fun. 371 00:22:33,187 --> 00:22:34,605 Oh, okay. What's it called? 372 00:22:35,189 --> 00:22:36,064 It's called... 373 00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:39,526 [all chanting] Does it float? Does it float? 374 00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:45,657 Does it float? Does it float? 375 00:22:45,657 --> 00:22:47,951 [guests clamoring] 376 00:22:47,951 --> 00:22:50,495 - Sink. Sink. Sink. - Float. Float, Float. 377 00:22:50,495 --> 00:22:52,581 [Jason] Sink. Sink, sink, sink. 378 00:22:52,581 --> 00:22:55,292 - [all cheering] - He said float, yeah. 379 00:22:55,292 --> 00:22:58,504 [all chanting] Does it float? Does it float? 380 00:22:58,504 --> 00:23:01,924 Does it float? Does it float? Whoo! 381 00:23:01,924 --> 00:23:04,593 [all] Sink, sink, sink, sink! 382 00:23:04,593 --> 00:23:06,386 Sink, sink, sink, sink, sink! 383 00:23:06,386 --> 00:23:09,890 - Oh, you're all wrong. You're all wrong. - [all chuckling, clamoring] 384 00:23:09,890 --> 00:23:12,643 [all chanting] Does it float? Whoo! Does it float? 385 00:23:12,643 --> 00:23:16,104 Does it float? Does it float? 386 00:23:18,148 --> 00:23:19,858 [all cheering] 387 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:26,657 Okay. 388 00:23:26,657 --> 00:23:29,785 Um, listen, sorry again about the speech. 389 00:23:30,619 --> 00:23:34,623 When a man wants a window, a friend offers him a mirror. 390 00:23:34,623 --> 00:23:37,543 Well, yeah. I mean, that's-- that's what-- that's what I thought. 391 00:23:37,543 --> 00:23:38,961 - [stammers] Yeah. - Come here. 392 00:23:39,628 --> 00:23:41,046 Hey. Okay. 393 00:23:42,714 --> 00:23:44,258 [straining] Here we go. 394 00:23:45,092 --> 00:23:47,386 - Okay. In you get. - [Jilly] Oh! 395 00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:55,561 All right, Mum? Seen a ghost in the window? 396 00:23:55,561 --> 00:23:57,229 I'm so embarrassed. 397 00:23:57,229 --> 00:23:59,189 It's been a real wake-up call for me. 398 00:23:59,690 --> 00:24:02,985 I won't be drinking again until we get home. [sighs] 399 00:24:03,986 --> 00:24:05,863 - [Nikki] Love you. - You too. Bye. 400 00:24:05,863 --> 00:24:07,948 - See ya, Jill, love. Hang on. One more. - [Jilly] Bye-bye. 401 00:24:08,866 --> 00:24:10,242 - There you go. - Okay. Okey dokey. 402 00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:12,411 Please can I drive? Please. 403 00:24:13,495 --> 00:24:14,496 Please? 404 00:24:15,122 --> 00:24:16,290 Fine. 405 00:24:16,290 --> 00:24:18,375 All right, but Jase, one hint of road rage, 406 00:24:18,375 --> 00:24:20,919 - and we swap back. Really? Yeah? - Not gonna be. Yeah. 407 00:24:23,005 --> 00:24:25,174 - All right. You got everything? - Yeah. 408 00:24:25,174 --> 00:24:27,342 I've got everything I need. [chuckles] 409 00:24:27,342 --> 00:24:28,427 [Nikki] Come on. 410 00:24:29,219 --> 00:24:30,721 - Bye! - Bye! 411 00:25:05,255 --> 00:25:08,258 [car horn honking] 412 00:25:11,595 --> 00:25:12,763 [smacks lips] 413 00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:15,265 Okay. 414 00:25:45,879 --> 00:25:47,256 [Vic] All right. 415 00:25:48,715 --> 00:25:49,716 Let's get out of here.