1 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,545 That's the one. 2 00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:51,593 I have just found the perfect place to be murdered. 3 00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:54,429 Are you still planning on playing that stupid game? 4 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:55,389 Absolutely. 5 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:58,892 I see my birthday as the perfect chance for everyone to just come together 6 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:02,396 and have lots of fun within the terms of the rental agreement. 7 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,858 So you're feeling better about turning 50? 8 00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:08,277 Yeah. Yeah, I'm feeling very positive. 9 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:12,281 - Very positive indeed, actually. - Well, good. 10 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,860 Goodness me. Look at this. 11 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,990 Wow! 12 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,159 Why do you always drive? 13 00:01:57,159 --> 00:02:00,662 Well, your dad's developed terrible road rage since becoming a taxi driver. 14 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:03,999 It's embarrassing, Jase, just gesticulating to everyone. 15 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:07,085 Well, you know what? Maybe if you gesticulated at a few more people, 16 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,463 I wouldn't have to. How about that, hey? 17 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,174 Oh, my Go-- Honestly, that gets me every time. 18 00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:14,718 - Oy, oy. Here they are. - Yay! 19 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:16,345 You made it then? You all right? 20 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,388 Sorry we're late by my standards. 21 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,474 Still getting used to my new car. 22 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,226 How was she to drive? 23 00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:24,186 Yeah. She's a good little runner. 24 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,980 I'm gonna take the engine apart when we get home. 25 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,732 - Why? What's wrong with it? - Nothing. 26 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:31,902 Please tell me you strip your engine down for monthly checks. 27 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,362 Yeah. Definitely. 28 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:36,073 I mean, it's slipped a bit recently possibly, but-- 29 00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,199 Here. 30 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,535 - Princess was taking notes. - Yeah? 31 00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:43,622 - Head notes. - Head notes. 32 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:45,666 - Hello! - This is nice. 33 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,125 - You all right? Yeah? - Yeah. 34 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,418 Yeah. There they are. 35 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,128 I'll tell you what, the drive's long enough. 36 00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,380 How rich are you? 37 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:54,758 No. No, listen, it's just ours for the weekend. 38 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:58,387 Billiard room's actually quite cramped. And the peacock pictured online, 39 00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,389 - he's rather conspicuous by his absence. - Okay. 40 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,851 - Happy birthday! - Happy birthday to you. 41 00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:09,106 Oh, my. Why the hell have they brought that thing? 42 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:12,609 - Are there not enough rooms for everyone? - No, there's plenty of rooms. 43 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,444 They just prefer the caravan. 44 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:15,445 Hello! 45 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,489 Do you know they've got everything in that thing? 46 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:20,951 - Right. - No, I mean literally everything. 47 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,245 You can test it. 48 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,376 - Here she is. Hello. - Hello. 49 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,460 Wow. 50 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:36,258 Yeah, so just wondering how the speech is coming along. For after dinner? 51 00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:39,928 Yes. Yeah, it's all good. All good. That's all in hand. 52 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:42,931 Wonderful. And I-- If it doesn't hem you in, 53 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,142 I do wonder if you might cap it at half an hour. 54 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,728 Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I mean-- 55 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,479 - Currently a squeak under that, but-- - Right. 56 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,106 - So that's-- - Yep, great. It's just-- 57 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,317 I only have three hours for the parlor games. 58 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:56,111 I mean, there's barely enough time for one round of The Minister's Cat. 59 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,280 - Sure. - Let alone, Are you there, Moriarty?, 60 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,616 Parson's Biscuits, or indeed, Call me Seamus. 61 00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:04,745 And don't worry. Yes, we will be ending on a round of Pass the Slipper. 62 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,706 - Don't want a riot on our hands. - I know a good game. 63 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,168 - It's called Does It Float? - Yeah? 64 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,962 You get a bowl of water and see what things float. 65 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:16,339 Right. 66 00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,716 Shall I repeat the rules again? 67 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:23,472 No. No, but let's do keep the dialogue open on that. 68 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,557 - Okay. Will do. - Here, mate. Here you go. 69 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,019 Dad, watch this. 70 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:17,401 Hi. Sorry, I just wonder, do you have a hole punch in your caravan? 71 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:18,652 A3 or A4? 72 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:20,904 A4. 73 00:05:29,288 --> 00:05:30,289 Unpacking then? 74 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,791 You missing your granny? 75 00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:35,294 It's hard, innit? 76 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:39,798 When people were around and then they're not. 77 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,013 Some people you carry with ya. 78 00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:49,016 I know, but they're heavy. 79 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:51,643 Yeah, they are. 80 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,062 'Cause the card is quality. 81 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,109 Then one day, they seem lighter, 82 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:04,198 and you realize you're not carrying them anymore. 83 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,950 How do you know when it's time to stop carrying them? 84 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,286 I honestly don't know. 85 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:12,664 It's time! 86 00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:17,377 It's time! 87 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:20,881 It's time! 88 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,052 God, Scott. 89 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:28,138 No, no. It's the Lord of Slaughterbridge Manor. 90 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:33,018 Welcome! Welcome, everyone. Do come in, come in. Come in guys. 91 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,980 - The gong woke me up. - Well, yes. 92 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,316 I had a tiny driving sherry on the trip down. 93 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:42,361 Right. When this is all over, I think we should have a little chat. 94 00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:44,404 Yeah, okay. That'd be nice. 95 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,450 - Scott. - Who's Scott? 96 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,202 Well, I will tell you who Scott is. 97 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:52,412 He's a man who won't listen to my advice when I tell him 98 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,748 - that nobody wants to play-- - Hello! 99 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,543 And welcome to Slaughterbridge Manor. 100 00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:03,632 Shortly, your host, Lord Slaughterbr-- That's me. I'm Lord Slaughterbridge. 101 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:04,800 Sorry, I have to-- 102 00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:11,098 Did ask Karen to read this bit, but she was not keen. 103 00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:12,558 Okay. 104 00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:17,980 So I am Lord Slaughterbridge, and I am inviting you all here to solve a murder. 105 00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:24,069 Yes, that's right. I am soon to be murdered by someone in this room. 106 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,863 Yeah. I can see that for you. 107 00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:30,492 - Princess. - But who are the suspects? 108 00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,289 Take a prop. 109 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:42,087 Slenderwell, the venerable vicar. 110 00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:46,717 Madame Rashevsky, 111 00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:50,554 the eccentric spiritualist who can commune with the dead. 112 00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:53,473 I've always felt a connection with the other side. 113 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,392 Jason is... 114 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:58,562 - Dick Malone, the hard-boiled PI. - Come on. 115 00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:02,024 He can distill a man to his soul with a look. 116 00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:04,693 Adept to using liquor to loosen tongues. 117 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:07,196 - Maybe we could pair up. - All right, Jill, love, yeah. 118 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:09,323 - Bloody hell. - The doctor. 119 00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,867 Always trustworthy. Apart from the ones on the news. 120 00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:14,328 Okay. So the men are the detectives and the doctors. 121 00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:17,247 Oh, my God. Can't we have an afternoon off? 122 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,332 Well... 123 00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:21,877 Delilah Deville. 124 00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:26,048 Hot lips! The young, cunning femme fatale, corrupting any man she-- 125 00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:27,716 Right. Okay, all right. I think we got it. 126 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:33,138 Works with respectfully, whilst earning equal pay. 127 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,097 Better. 128 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:36,390 Langley Truman, ace newshound. 129 00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:40,645 Isabella and Isadora Slaughterbridge, 130 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:43,982 granddaughters and heirs to the Slaughterbridge fortune. 131 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:45,651 Interesting. 132 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:50,614 - Karen. - And last but not least, Carla Santiago, 133 00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:53,367 assistant to the Spanish ambassador. 134 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:56,286 How about that? They didn't have children's options. 135 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,914 But don't worry, it's a largely ceremonial role. 136 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:04,545 Now, once you have discovered my body somewhere in the house, 137 00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:09,383 you will follow the clues that will lead you to the murderer among us. 138 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:12,678 And you may start your search in one minute. 139 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,472 Actually, make it two, 'cause it's all the way down the corridor... 140 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,392 or is it? 141 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:21,103 Look, we don't have to play this if you don't want to. 142 00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:23,355 I mean, we can just go and have a drink on the-- 143 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,816 All right. Well, he's gone already, so-- 144 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,568 - Nik, Nik, Nik. - Yes? 145 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,653 Listen, we need to talk about Scott. 146 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,321 - What, like an intervention? - No, 147 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,782 I mean this speech that he wants me to give after dinner. 148 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:35,701 - I haven't written it. What do I say? - I don't know. 149 00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:38,370 - Just stuff you know about him. - I don't know anything about him. 150 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:41,290 Jase, you've known him for years. You were best man at his wedding. 151 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:44,251 Just-- I don't know, just draw on your shared memories. 152 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,754 - Dad. - Nikki. 153 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:48,881 Yes? 154 00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:51,341 Do you just wanna sack this off and go and eat all the canapés? 155 00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,051 Yeah. 156 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:57,389 Dad. Have you got any observations about Scott, 157 00:09:57,389 --> 00:10:00,809 like memories, funny stories, anything for this bloody speech? 158 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,728 I try to block him out for the most part. 159 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,191 He's tall. I've noticed that. 160 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,862 Thanks very much. Yeah, that's very helpful. 161 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:25,584 Okay. Well, he's not in there, so I'm sort of done, really. 162 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,171 I think I need to move on. 163 00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:33,175 Well, we can try the drawing room, but I really CBA, TBH. 164 00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:35,010 No, not like that. 165 00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:41,266 I downloaded this dating app. 166 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:46,772 But I don't know what to do. I mean, it's a different world now. 167 00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:50,150 Well, it's not changed that much. I mean, how did you get together with grandma? 168 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,862 We went for gimlets on Friday, and I wrote to her father on the Monday. 169 00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:55,531 Okay. 170 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,283 Well, yeah, it's changed a bit. 171 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:02,663 Right. We need a description of yourself for your bio. 172 00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,790 Here. What about this? 173 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,047 This is an alphabetized list of your medical issues. 174 00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:14,383 You think it should go serious to mild? 175 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,469 I'll put "health-conscious." 176 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,556 Okay. What about a profile photo? 177 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:23,267 Here. 178 00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:25,519 Yeah. 179 00:11:30,983 --> 00:11:35,904 Granddad. I think we may need some new ones. 180 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:43,495 - Shouldn't we be looking for Uncle Scott? - Well, we are, mate, in a way. 181 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:46,331 Look, if I don't find something to put in this speech, 182 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,584 then he's not going to be the only one dying. Trust me. 183 00:11:48,584 --> 00:11:51,211 And anyway, there's loads of people looking. 184 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,754 Someone else will find him. 185 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,315 I mean, the man's invisible. 186 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:14,902 I put in "Scott Filbert" and it said, "Did you mean 'soft filters?'" 187 00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,571 Then it takes me through to this cameras accessory website. 188 00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:21,533 How're you getting on? You found anything? Let's have a look he-- 189 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:25,454 Yeah, I don't know if I can weave 30 minutes of material 190 00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:29,333 out of an air fryer review and an out-of-date listing on Companies House. 191 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:34,421 It may be time for some old-fashioned detective work, my friend. 192 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,590 Follow me. 193 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,467 Shouldn't we be looking for Scott? 194 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,886 It's fine. There's loads of them. Someone else will find him. 195 00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:43,847 Okay. Push your lips forward like you're gonna give someone a kiss. 196 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:46,934 Slims the face. Now stand at a slight angle. 197 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,146 Okay, and lift your arms away from your body to create a gap. 198 00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:52,439 It makes you look thinner. 199 00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,111 Okay, forget that one. Just smile. 200 00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:01,532 Think of something that makes you happy? 201 00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:05,452 Right. Remember before we left, 202 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:08,539 when we proved that mechanic wrong by replacing the distributor cap ourselves 203 00:13:08,539 --> 00:13:11,500 by first locating the cap, removing it from its housing, 204 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,669 being mindful of the spark plug wires 205 00:13:13,669 --> 00:13:16,588 and then carefully attaching the spark plug itself to the new cap? 206 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:17,714 Head notes. 207 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,049 There he is. 208 00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:23,804 Okay. Good, but we're gonna need some more. 209 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,269 All right, Princess? 210 00:13:30,269 --> 00:13:33,939 Hello. I just wondered, have you got champagne flutes, 211 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:37,067 a straw hat and some reading glasses? 212 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,695 And some golf clubs. 213 00:13:39,695 --> 00:13:40,946 Righto. 214 00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,448 Should we be going through his stuff? 215 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,743 Look, if you wanna know a man, then check his pockets. 216 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:49,788 - Come on, Scott. Give me something. - Library card. 217 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,125 When does it expire? 218 00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:54,877 Quite soon. 219 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:57,462 Is that good speech material? Lost my bearings. 220 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,800 Yeah. I'll get a couple of minutes out of that. 221 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,886 All right. Good. Good. Keep looking. 222 00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,247 Sip from the glass. 223 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,708 Maybe I'm too past it for this. 224 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:38,504 You look great, but there are things we can do to make you look younger. 225 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:43,008 We're down to mid-sixties already. Do up the top button of your shirt. 226 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,054 Hey, don't make me look too young. I don't want to attract younger women. 227 00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:49,348 I can't deal with that in-your-face, 228 00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:51,808 quick-talking sass of woman in their early sixties. 229 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:52,893 Got it. 230 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,194 I found someone, and I swiped right. 231 00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:04,279 You're supposed to swipe on lots of people. 232 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,657 That's disgusting. 233 00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:07,741 - Nikki. - Yeah? 234 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:08,951 I'm worried. 235 00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:13,121 Ever since I put this hat on, I feel that I've awakened something within me. 236 00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:17,292 I think I saw a figure in the window upstairs. 237 00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:19,753 Something not of this world. 238 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:22,673 Right. We're definitely gonna have that chat. 239 00:15:24,508 --> 00:15:25,509 Here you go. 240 00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:28,095 - Spirit level? - Yes. 241 00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:30,138 - Glue stick? - Yes. 242 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,390 Some chalk for a pool cue? 243 00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:33,809 Be no point in bringing the pool cues without it. 244 00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:37,980 - Junior badminton set? - Y-- 245 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:41,441 No. I don't think we do. 246 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,943 Get in! 247 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,781 Hang on. Hold on. Where's Scott? 248 00:16:09,511 --> 00:16:10,512 Have you been... 249 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,807 there the whole day? 250 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:19,062 Well, we couldn't find you anywhere, could we? 251 00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,606 I mean, we've been-- 252 00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:22,524 - we've been worried sick. - We were. 253 00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:24,109 Yeah. 254 00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:27,654 Jason. 255 00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:29,781 Will you do your speech now? 256 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,200 'Cause he said after pudding. 257 00:16:37,706 --> 00:16:40,792 Hello, everyone. Yeah, thank you. Speech time... 258 00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:49,551 Right. So, we are gathered here today 259 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:55,057 to celebrate 50 great years of Scott Filbert. 260 00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:02,648 I mean, what can you say about Scott Filbert? 261 00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,568 He's a man. 262 00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:09,029 A tall man. 263 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,198 A married man. 264 00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:15,618 A tall, employed, married man 265 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:19,289 with a house and a wife and a daughter. 266 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,306 Jase? 267 00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:47,192 He's a library member. 268 00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:48,944 But not for long. 269 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,074 I'm really sorry. 270 00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:59,204 He is a man with very high standards. 271 00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:00,664 Not for him, 272 00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:03,083 an air fryer with long frying times 273 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:08,088 as opposed to the more conventional, deep fat ones. 274 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:14,845 Stevie's here, ladies and gentlemen. Give it up for Stevie. Yep. 275 00:18:14,845 --> 00:18:16,138 Hello. 276 00:18:18,015 --> 00:18:19,933 - You okay? - Big wallet fan. 277 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,018 Loves his wallets. 278 00:18:21,018 --> 00:18:23,562 Other famous Scotts include-- 279 00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:33,906 Yeah. I think the reason he's struggling to say anything meaningful is... 280 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,492 there's really nothing meaningful to say. 281 00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:39,703 - No. - No, no-- Well, I mean, 282 00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:42,789 I was dead for three hours. Nobody noticed. 283 00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:46,210 Well, I think I died as I lived: Unnoticed. 284 00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:51,381 A man of no consequence, admired only for his looks. 285 00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:54,927 But I've been given a second chance at life today, 286 00:18:54,927 --> 00:19:00,432 a second chance to lead a life worthy of being missed. 287 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:04,978 And the man I am today need not be the man I am tomorrow, after all. 288 00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:07,022 So I've made a decision. 289 00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:13,362 And to raise awareness of rising sea levels-- 290 00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:16,532 something that's been on Stevie's mind-- 291 00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:21,787 I have decided to single-handedly row the Atlantic Ocean. 292 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:31,964 Okay. 293 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,385 Yeah, I'm just gonna-- 294 00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:56,196 Is everything okay? 295 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,241 - Very much so, yes. - Well, I only ask 296 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:02,202 'cause you've just announced you're gonna row across an ocean. 297 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:05,497 That's right. I am. 298 00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:09,084 Okay. Well, what's brought this on? 299 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,382 I've done very little with the time I've been given, Karen. 300 00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:20,637 And it turns out, the little I have done has been evil. 301 00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,515 - What? - Two years ago, I wrote a report 302 00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:26,476 advocating the expansion of drilling rights in the Arctic. 303 00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:30,772 And now they drill for shale gas in East Greenland, 304 00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:34,943 which just happens to be the main breeding ground 305 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,196 of the Weddell seal. 306 00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:38,989 There he is. 307 00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:42,659 Yeah. Yeah, it's a seal with an annoying face. So what? 308 00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:47,539 Well, since drilling began, the population has decreased by 40%. 309 00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:50,876 I have all but killed off the Weddell seal, 310 00:20:50,876 --> 00:20:52,711 one of the main sorts of seal. 311 00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:55,380 I didn't even know there were different sorts of seals. 312 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,591 I just thought there was one. Seal. 313 00:20:57,591 --> 00:20:59,301 Well, there probably is now, thanks to me. 314 00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:00,385 Do you know what, Scott? 315 00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:02,971 Maybe they need to be less fussy about where they have sex. 316 00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:05,933 I mean, I've seen seals. They're lucky they're getting laid at all. 317 00:21:07,184 --> 00:21:11,688 You know I've pretty much failed at everything I've done in life. 318 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,441 Except Stevie. 319 00:21:16,235 --> 00:21:17,694 I am not gonna fail her. 320 00:21:18,946 --> 00:21:21,698 I am not gonna actively destroy her future. 321 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:24,701 Oh, come on, Scott, you're 50 years old. 322 00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:27,538 I mean, you don't even go to the gym. 323 00:21:27,538 --> 00:21:30,165 Stevie loves you the way you are. 324 00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:32,626 Listen, my dad died when he was 51 years old. 325 00:21:32,626 --> 00:21:34,419 That makes you think, doesn't it? 326 00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,047 I mean, how much more time do I have? 327 00:21:37,047 --> 00:21:39,258 Well, he fell off the roof trying to fix a TV aerial. 328 00:21:39,258 --> 00:21:42,177 - I mean, that's hardly hereditary, Scott. - It makes you think. 329 00:21:45,389 --> 00:21:46,849 It's time for me to make my mark. 330 00:21:49,685 --> 00:21:50,686 Come on. 331 00:21:57,818 --> 00:22:00,070 That's why I was asking you about stories for it. 332 00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:03,156 - Shall I ca-- No? - No, not now. 333 00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:08,036 Okay. Well, if we're gonna play Parson's Biscuits, 334 00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:10,205 we best get started or we'll be here till midnight. 335 00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:12,624 So, everyone take off their left shoe, 336 00:22:12,624 --> 00:22:15,836 think of their favorite foreign secretary and don't tell anyone. 337 00:22:15,836 --> 00:22:18,088 - No, we don't wanna do that, Scott. - All righty then. 338 00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:28,432 - I know a game. - Oh, no. Not now, love. 339 00:22:28,432 --> 00:22:29,641 It is fun. 340 00:22:33,187 --> 00:22:34,605 Okay. What's it called? 341 00:22:35,189 --> 00:22:36,064 It's called... 342 00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:42,446 Does it float? Does it float? Does it float? Does it float? 343 00:22:42,446 --> 00:22:45,657 Does it float? Does it float? 344 00:22:48,035 --> 00:22:50,495 - Sink. Sink. Sink. - Float. Float, Float. 345 00:22:50,495 --> 00:22:52,581 Sink. Sink, sink, sink. 346 00:22:53,832 --> 00:22:55,292 He said float, yeah. 347 00:22:55,292 --> 00:23:01,924 Does it float? Does it float? Does it float? Does it float? 348 00:23:01,924 --> 00:23:04,593 Sink, sink, sink, sink! 349 00:23:04,593 --> 00:23:06,386 Sink, sink, sink, sink, sink! 350 00:23:07,179 --> 00:23:09,890 You're all wrong. You're all wrong. 351 00:23:09,890 --> 00:23:16,104 Does it float? Does it float? Does it float? Does it float? 352 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:26,281 Okay. 353 00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:29,785 Listen, sorry again about the speech. 354 00:23:30,619 --> 00:23:34,623 When a man wants a window, a friend offers him a mirror. 355 00:23:34,623 --> 00:23:37,543 Well, yeah. I mean, that's-- that's what I thought. 356 00:23:37,543 --> 00:23:38,961 - Yeah. - Come here. 357 00:23:39,628 --> 00:23:41,046 Hey. Okay. 358 00:23:42,714 --> 00:23:44,258 Here we go. 359 00:23:45,092 --> 00:23:47,386 Okay. In you get. 360 00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:55,561 All right, Mum? Seen a ghost in the window? 361 00:23:55,561 --> 00:23:57,229 I'm so embarrassed. 362 00:23:57,229 --> 00:23:59,189 It's been a real wake-up call for me. 363 00:23:59,690 --> 00:24:02,276 I won't be drinking again until we get home. 364 00:24:03,986 --> 00:24:05,863 - Love you. - You too. Bye. 365 00:24:05,863 --> 00:24:07,948 - See ya, Jill, love. Hang on. One more. - Bye-bye. 366 00:24:08,866 --> 00:24:10,242 - There you go. - Okay. Okey dokey. 367 00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:12,411 Please can I drive? Please. 368 00:24:13,495 --> 00:24:14,496 Please? 369 00:24:15,122 --> 00:24:16,290 Fine. 370 00:24:16,290 --> 00:24:18,375 All right, but Jase, one hint of road rage, 371 00:24:18,375 --> 00:24:20,919 - and we swap back. Really? Yeah? - Not gonna be. Yeah. 372 00:24:23,005 --> 00:24:25,174 - All right. You got everything? - Yeah. 373 00:24:25,174 --> 00:24:26,633 I've got everything I need. 374 00:24:27,426 --> 00:24:28,427 Come on. 375 00:24:29,219 --> 00:24:30,721 - Bye! - Bye! 376 00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:15,265 Okay. 377 00:25:45,879 --> 00:25:47,256 All right. 378 00:25:48,715 --> 00:25:49,716 Let's get out of here.