1 00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:11,425 [birds chirping, singing] 2 00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:16,682 [panting] 3 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,098 [exhales] 4 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:34,827 -Whoo! -[door closes] 5 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,250 Oy, oy, oy. 6 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:40,960 [Jason] Mate. 7 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,456 -What's going on? -Been running. 8 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,967 -What? Why? What's happened? -Nothing's happened. Just been running. 9 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:52,389 -I don't understand. Someone chasing you? -No. [chuckling] No one's chasing me. 10 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,259 I've just been for a run. People run. 11 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:55,346 [Jason inhales] 12 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,520 -Okay. -Ah... 13 00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:00,889 Went to the, uh, corner shop and back. 14 00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:03,148 -Our corner shop? -Oh, yeah. 15 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,570 -On Ellerslie Road? -Yeah. Why? 16 00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:06,979 No, no, no reason. 17 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,487 -Measured the distance, exactly a mile. -Oh. 18 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,030 So... beat my personal best. 19 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,324 What's your personal best? 20 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,867 -Half a mile. -[Nikki chuckles] 21 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:16,794 [Jason whistles] 22 00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:20,709 I think it's difficult for me to shift weight on account of my head being so big. 23 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,829 -Head's half a stone. -Half a stone? 24 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,586 Look, it's extremely big. 25 00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:29,172 Oh, yeah. That is pretty big. 26 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,176 Oh, yeah. 27 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,266 [shower running] 28 00:02:08,961 --> 00:02:12,471 Hmm. I said, "Next time you tell someone you're taking their kids off them, 29 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:13,379 do it with respect. 30 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:16,507 You put on a shirt and some smart shoes with laces." 31 00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:19,465 -I'm not having it, not on my team. -You're such a badass. [chuckles] 32 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:23,437 Excuse me. Sorry, could I trouble you for a glass of water? 33 00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:25,059 Oh, sorry. I don't work here. 34 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,145 No, I know, but it's just over there. 35 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,688 Uh, okay. 36 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:33,243 -So, how are we doing with the family map? -Oh, yeah. 37 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:36,781 Mm. 38 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,544 -[woman] Here you go. -Lovely. Thanks so much. 39 00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:40,738 -Thank you. -[woman] Yeah. 40 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:44,617 Mm. Goody. Lovely. Good old family map. 41 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,956 You'll need this lot. These are your troops. 42 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,842 Adoption panels love a strong family network. 43 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,670 And this lot? They a good bunch? Supportive? 44 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,258 Or is it a tramadol- to-get-through-Christmas situation? 45 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,892 Oh, no. They're great. 46 00:02:57,970 --> 00:03:00,180 We couldn't have wished for a more supportive family. 47 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:04,099 -And how's Jason? -Yeah, he's great. He's perfect. 48 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,814 [stammers] He's working today, which is why he couldn't, you know, um-- 49 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,516 Yeah, totally perfect. [giggles] 50 00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:12,355 [Nikki clears throat] 51 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,742 It's rare to get through this process without some bumps. 52 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:17,280 You know, some doubts, some tension. 53 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:20,204 Honestly, it's all good. It's all good. 54 00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:21,704 -It's all perfect. -Perfect. 55 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,499 Yeah, exactly. 56 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,791 Right, bear with me. Nature calls. 57 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:30,955 Oh, Christ, it is like running a bath with the bloody plug out. 58 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,054 -[Nikki chuckles] -Mm-hmm. 59 00:03:58,822 --> 00:03:59,822 [Penny] Occupied. 60 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,594 -Penny, I can't use them. -What have I told you? 61 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:15,298 Yeah, I know. I just-- I thought it might count against us if we got, 62 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,090 I don't know, an Asian child or-- 63 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,593 Okay, I tell you what... 64 00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:24,005 let's call this whole session off the record. 65 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:28,813 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 66 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:29,904 Could we get a fork? 67 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,859 -Sure. -Aw. 68 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,072 -She's nice. -Mm. [chuckles] 69 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:39,742 [siren wailing in distance] 70 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,986 [Jason] A party? With both of our families? Are you out of your mind? 71 00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,618 [Nikki] Penny thought it might help. 72 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:51,459 -I just think it's a bad idea. -Yes, again, noted. 73 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:55,955 We've got a week till panel, and I've said our family are a great support network. 74 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,836 So basically we've got a week to make them into one. 75 00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,763 Can't we just lie? Say we've done it. I mean, no one's gonna-- 76 00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,012 Jason. This stuff matters. 77 00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:05,138 We're not gonna be able to do all this on our own. 78 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,562 We're gonna need their help. 79 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,850 [baby crying] 80 00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:11,484 -Plus, Erica agrees with me, so... -Erica doesn't know 'em. 81 00:05:11,562 --> 00:05:13,902 Yeah, well, I think she's got an idealized view of families 82 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,071 -'cause both her parents are dead. -Well, I'm sorry about that. 83 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,649 But both of our parents are still alive. And in many ways that's much harder. 84 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,830 [Freddy, indistinct] 85 00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,586 -Mom, would you like some more? -Mm. 86 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,053 Thanks. Oh, that's-- Okay, thanks. 87 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,471 Sandra, would you like a top-up? 88 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,309 -Go and talk to Mum, please. -Why? 89 00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:50,349 Because it's really quiet. It's not going how I hoped. 90 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:51,694 It's fine. It's going well. 91 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:55,018 No. Karen, there's no flow. Parties, they have to have flow. 92 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,435 Oh, it's a party? 93 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,069 [speakers: soft rock] 94 00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:01,361 Oh, okay then. No, no, it's not going well. 95 00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:03,025 Karen, will you just go and talk to her? 96 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,073 I am a 38-year-old woman with no children. 97 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:07,027 I have got nothing to talk to my parents about. 98 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,947 Please. For me. 99 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,873 Fine. 100 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:12,920 I'm taking this though. 101 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:17,537 And at the end of all of it, you're getting a very troubled child. 102 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:21,922 Seems like a lot of hoops to jump through to get something that's already damaged. 103 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,217 I don't think that's quite fair. 104 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:26,470 There are certain things you don't get secondhand. 105 00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:30,716 Underwear, bed linen, children. 106 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:34,943 I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. I just tell it like it is. 107 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,860 -You gonna take the job? -Oh, I don't know. 108 00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:39,729 No, I don't think so. I'm a teacher. I'm not a manager. 109 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,146 Yeah, yeah. 110 00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:44,855 Well, listen, I have a little saying for decisions like this. 111 00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:47,318 "Follow your heart." 112 00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:53,500 What line of work are you looking to get into, Scott? 113 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,420 Right. Um, I used to work in finance. 114 00:06:57,501 --> 00:07:01,301 Uh, I think, at root, I'm a storyteller. 115 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,724 Right. 116 00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:12,846 -Are you okay? -Yeah. No, yeah. I'm fine. 117 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:16,653 I'm just... [sighs] I just want everyone to get along. 118 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,438 Will you go and speak to Jason's dad? 119 00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:20,652 He's just reading his iPad. He's not really engaging. 120 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,612 Yeah, okay. Where is he? 121 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,419 Vic, what are you doing? 122 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,959 Well, there's no point in being here if I'm not gonna be useful. 123 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,803 There are other reasons to be here. 124 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:44,169 Like spending time with your family. Come on. 125 00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:47,892 Oh. I can fix that lock as well, if-- 126 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,388 No, come on. Down-- 127 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,799 Actually... 128 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,059 No, come on. Downstairs. 129 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,515 -[Vic] All right. -You take a seat over there, Vic. 130 00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:59,103 I'll go grab you a drink. 131 00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:05,109 [sighs] 132 00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,529 What did you do for tea last night? 133 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:11,237 Uh... lasagna. 134 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,289 Just lasagna? 135 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,451 And salad. 136 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,120 That's nice. 137 00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,335 -And you? -Sausages. 138 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:25,376 What, just sausages? 139 00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:27,295 And a bit of mash. 140 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,092 Cool. 141 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,265 [Scott] There we are. 142 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,680 I know a fellow tech-head when I see one. 143 00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:41,095 -It's Vic, isn't it? -[Vic] Yes. 144 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:45,318 -Has Scott had any luck work-wise? -No. 145 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,440 [Scott] Oh, what are we up to? 146 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:52,948 I just want him to find something before all of his self-confidence drains away. 147 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:56,035 [Scott] It's small talk, isn't it? That's the hard-- That's the icebreaker. 148 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:59,829 That's the hard thing, I think, is just to sort of come in, as I did then, 149 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:02,625 -and break the proverbial ice. -I think we've got a while. 150 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,129 [Scott] It's just-- It's small talk. It's language. 151 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,922 And we talk a lot about the contingency of language, don't we? 152 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:11,636 But, for me, the real wolf at the door, subjectivity-wise, 153 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,218 and apologies to Rousseau for saying this, 154 00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,184 but none of us self-create. 155 00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:20,022 Although I do feel very historically contingent. I don't know if you do. 156 00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:41,873 [Nikki sighs] 157 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,544 All right. Go and have a drink with my dad. 158 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,633 That's much better. 159 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,216 [Nikki sighs] 160 00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:54,143 Okay. 161 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,389 Good. 162 00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:58,102 [whispering] Oh... 163 00:09:58,182 --> 00:09:59,352 Good. 164 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,604 This is your dad's. Can you hide it? 165 00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:04,556 -I want him to talk to people. -Why? 166 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,436 Because we need to be able to walk into that panel and say, 167 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:09,233 "Yes, our family are supportive and engaged." 168 00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:12,528 -That's not really his sort of thing. -Don't know how your mum does it. 169 00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,663 How can anyone be with someone that unavailable? 170 00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:19,539 -Jason. -Yes, sorry. Go on. 171 00:10:22,915 --> 00:10:25,915 I've got to go to the shop and get some posh wine for your mum. 172 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,461 She's doing her face again. 173 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,594 Have you got 8 quid? 174 00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:39,765 Can't believe it's still light. I sort of thought it would be dark by now. 175 00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,768 -We've only been in there two hours. -Yeah. 176 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,730 Two hours with Jason's mum feels like a week with anyone normal. 177 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:45,811 Oh, yeah. 178 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,860 -Hey, you really okay? -Yeah, why? 179 00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:52,896 You just seem a bit on edge. 180 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,775 Something's going on with Jason. I don't really know what. 181 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,276 -The training thing? -Yeah. 182 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,540 Also... 183 00:11:02,371 --> 00:11:03,411 What? 184 00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:08,666 I saw a text he got from this woman called Sofia. 185 00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:11,632 We don't know anyone called Sofia. 186 00:11:19,096 --> 00:11:20,596 So, what did it say? 187 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:22,931 "We should do that again soon." 188 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:25,392 And then two kisses at the bottom. 189 00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:26,597 Right. 190 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:30,688 -Still, though, Jason... -Also, he's running. He never runs. 191 00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:31,614 Hmm. 192 00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,442 So I'm thinking, who is he getting in shape for? 193 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,492 No, look. I'm sure it's completely fine. 194 00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:39,623 You're probably just thinking the worst because, 195 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,700 you know, that's how you two got together. 196 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:51,497 And chili in everything. 197 00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:54,505 I mean, in an omelet? 198 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:58,470 They'll be putting samosas in a full English breakfast next. 199 00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:01,222 One thing I will say is, for the multiculturalism, 200 00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:03,345 if you do want a plumber at Christmas... 201 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,520 I'll bet they charge you the earth, do they, at Christmas? 202 00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:09,482 Obviously, your own child is preferable. 203 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,030 -They did try. -Oh, God, yeah. 204 00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:15,528 I'd think to myself, "Christ, they're still trying." 205 00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:18,201 They had to give it a shot. 206 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,160 But it is very modern, isn't it? To try and change things? 207 00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:23,485 I think for our generation, 208 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,907 if you couldn't do something, you just did something else. 209 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,753 There are more options now. 210 00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:29,331 But is that good? 211 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,706 I don't know. 212 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:33,842 We saw what it did to Nikki, emotionally. 213 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:36,471 I mean, you know what she's like. [giggles] 214 00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:41,932 Would you like to try this wine, Sandra? 215 00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:43,012 Oh. 216 00:12:54,525 --> 00:12:55,645 There you go. 217 00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:06,119 [sighs] It's worse. 218 00:13:15,546 --> 00:13:20,046 The real question is, is it even moral to have a baby? You know? 219 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:25,013 Just to rip it out of nonexistence into a dying world? 220 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,603 Scott, would you mind taking some ice through to Sandra? 221 00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:31,902 Yeah, sure. Where is it? 222 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,109 Where's what? 223 00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:34,188 The ice. 224 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,358 -Where's the ice? -Yeah. 225 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,238 Well, it's in the freezer. 226 00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:42,952 Right. Yeah. Yeah, I was thinking probably freezer. 227 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,121 Okay. 228 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:47,950 What? 229 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,866 [scraping] 230 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:57,168 [John] But, you know, that's the way the world looks at it. 231 00:13:57,754 --> 00:14:01,094 Yeah. If you don't have competition, you never get any better, do ya? 232 00:14:02,134 --> 00:14:03,724 If you want the family to get along, he's part of the family, all right? 233 00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:05,602 I'm sorry, I just-- I don't get it. 234 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:09,349 She doesn't even want kids. She's got time to find someone proper. 235 00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:11,193 Do you know he claims he's never heard of Beyoncé? 236 00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:14,648 Beyoncé. I mean, why would you even boast about that? 237 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:16,860 [Vic] Yeah, yeah. Well, we invented cricket, didn't we? 238 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,730 And now we go over there, they hammer us. 239 00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:19,817 [John chuckles] 240 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:23,032 -I think our dads are bonding over racism. -At this point, I'm glad they're talking. 241 00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,163 -[dishes rattle] -[Nikki sighs] 242 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,990 [Vic] The thing is, you walk down the street... 243 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,535 -What? -[Vic, indistinct] 244 00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:30,450 -Jase. -Hmm? 245 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:33,367 Nikki. Can I just have a word, please? 246 00:14:33,457 --> 00:14:36,497 -Can I come and find you in a bit? -No, it's all right. You carry on. 247 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,085 I'm gonna go and break up the English Defence League 248 00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:39,800 before they start printing pamphlets. 249 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:43,837 [John and Vic, indistinct] 250 00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:45,468 [Nikki] What's up? 251 00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:48,758 I think that we should just take it outside. Yeah? 252 00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:52,427 [Vic, indistinct] 253 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:57,611 -[sighs] All right. What's the matter? -You got something to say about Scott? 254 00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,439 What? No. What do you mean? 255 00:14:59,525 --> 00:15:01,235 I just get the sense you're not happy for me. 256 00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:05,358 Why? I think it's great. I'm glad that you found someone. 257 00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:07,487 Just tell me what you think of him. 258 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,454 Well, I-- Yeah, I like him. 259 00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,868 -Nikki. -I do. 260 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,787 You are so full of shit. 261 00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,544 Oh, my God. What do you want me to say? 262 00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:19,036 I want you to tell me the truth. 263 00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,377 I want you to stop being so bloody nice. 264 00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:28,511 It is not nice to be so nice all the time. It is oppressive. 265 00:15:30,556 --> 00:15:33,266 Fine. Fine, I don't like him. 266 00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:36,520 Look, I'm sure I'll come to like him. But currently, I'm sorry, I do not. 267 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,274 I knew it. 268 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:42,484 You just hate that I am getting my shit together, don't you? 269 00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:44,698 [laughing] Oh, my God. Why would I hate that? 270 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,948 -'Cause you're insecure. -Oh, wow. I'm insecure. 271 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,910 You're the one marrying a man you barely like just for the company. 272 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,617 I am happy. 273 00:15:51,702 --> 00:15:55,792 Please. If you were so happy about this, you wouldn't need me to be. 274 00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,791 You do not know him. 275 00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:01,753 I know him enough to know he's not good enough for you. 276 00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:05,382 Karen-- Karen! 277 00:16:06,717 --> 00:16:09,467 -You know, it's not like I'm the only one. -Oh, really? 278 00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:10,553 -Yes. Yeah. -Right. Right. 279 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:11,717 More drama. 280 00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,135 Okay. Well, let's just see what everyone else thinks then, shall we? 281 00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,484 No. No, don't tell her. It's a trick. She doesn't really wanna know. 282 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,650 -She says she does, but she doesn't. -Hang on. Hang on. What's going on here? 283 00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:20,730 Nikki's just getting herself 284 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:21,944 -all worked up. -Aw! 285 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,324 -This is what I'm talking about. -What did she say? 286 00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:25,361 -Why is she always criticizing me? -Pipe down, Mum. 287 00:16:25,444 --> 00:16:27,074 She's not always criticizing. Are you? 288 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,204 I just tell it like it is. 289 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:31,030 You ever notice no one says anything nice after that though? 290 00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:35,286 I mean, no one ever says, "I tell it like it is. Them glasses really suit you." 291 00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:38,790 He speaks. How long have you been plucking up courage to say that, John? 292 00:16:38,874 --> 00:16:41,844 -Mum! -Well, he's a slow puncture, that one. 293 00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:44,799 -It's called being nice. -Oh, the cavalry's arrived. 294 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,300 At least she's being honest, not like us. 295 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,972 It's not always good to be honest, Karen. 296 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,681 -Right. So, you don't like him either? -Who's that? 297 00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:54,142 -We didn't say that. -Not to his face. 298 00:16:54,223 --> 00:16:56,393 Everyone just calm down. Please. 299 00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:58,765 We're supposed to be a family, not West Side bloody Story. 300 00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:01,232 I don't think you, of all people, should be lecturing anyone. 301 00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:02,313 -Erica. -What? 302 00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:04,017 I think we've all just had a bit too much to drink. 303 00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:06,147 I wish. Have you tasted this? 304 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:10,574 Oh, my God. Sandra, I am sorry that you don't like any of the wine. 305 00:17:10,656 --> 00:17:12,486 Do you know what? There's some rum and raisin cake in the fridge. 306 00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,284 Why don't you just suck the alcohol out of that? 307 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,657 -Oh! -[Scott] Yeah. You know, 308 00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,253 I actually find that conflict can be quite useful. 309 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:20,419 -[Jason] Sit down, mate. Keep out of it. -[Nikki] Just shut up, Scott. 310 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:22,666 [Nikki sighs] 311 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,844 -[Karen groans] -Yeah, lovely. 312 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,263 -[Nikki sobs] -[footsteps approaching] 313 00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:41,812 [muffled] Ahhh! 314 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,111 -[pants slowly] -[door closes] 315 00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:54,029 I think it's going very well. 316 00:17:57,703 --> 00:17:58,703 [Nikki sighs] 317 00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:02,580 I think we need to talk. 318 00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:06,586 Ah. 319 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:12,470 Our families are useless, so clearly all we have is each other. 320 00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:14,601 So we just need to be totally honest. 321 00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:18,521 Yeah. Okay. 322 00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:22,935 It feels like there's something going on. 323 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:26,110 And I didn't wanna believe it. But then I spoke to Erica, and-- 324 00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:29,190 She's just-- She's made me think. 325 00:18:35,324 --> 00:18:36,744 Is there another woman? 326 00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:43,825 -There is? -Yeah. 327 00:18:43,916 --> 00:18:45,456 [sighs] 328 00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:48,629 -Oh, my God. -Yeah. 329 00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:51,342 [panting] 330 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,756 -How long has it been going on? -Quite a while. 331 00:18:59,348 --> 00:19:01,388 How could you lie to me? This is us. 332 00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:03,345 -This is you and me. -I know. I just thought 333 00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:07,105 that if it ended before anyone could find out, then it would just-- 334 00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:09,439 It would be a mistake and everything would just go back to normal. 335 00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:12,025 No. Things don't go back to normal after something like this, Jason. 336 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:13,860 -You know that. -I know. I know. 337 00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:15,066 -Bastard! -But, look. 338 00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,365 Things haven't been right for a while, okay? 339 00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:20,449 And I think if we're being honest, there's probably blame on both sides. 340 00:19:20,536 --> 00:19:24,036 No. No. No, Jason. There is blame on one side. 341 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,462 When something like this happens, 342 00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:29,711 it is usually a big sign there is something very wrong in the relationship. 343 00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:30,875 [whispering] Oh, my God. 344 00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:33,422 I know. 345 00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:40,721 So, that's it then? 346 00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:47,557 -It's over? -Honestly, I don't know. 347 00:19:48,105 --> 00:19:49,895 I don't know. 348 00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:54,902 But what I hope, right, [stammers] what I genuinely hope 349 00:19:54,987 --> 00:19:57,157 -is that we can all stay friends. -What? 350 00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,159 -The three of us. -Are you insane? 351 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:02,491 -I know it will be awkward at first-- -Why would I ever want to do that? 352 00:20:02,578 --> 00:20:04,328 Because there's a whole shared history between us. 353 00:20:04,413 --> 00:20:07,173 -What? -Look, he's important to me, all right? 354 00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:08,749 -They both are. -Who are? 355 00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:11,304 -Erica and Freddy. -What's it got to do with them? 356 00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:12,958 -What do you mean? -What? 357 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:14,966 -What? -Sorry, what are we talking about? 358 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,428 Freddy's affair. What are you talking about? 359 00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:19,298 -I'm talking about your affair. -My affair? I'm not having an affair! 360 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,506 -What? -What? 361 00:20:23,098 --> 00:20:25,478 -Freddy had the affair? -Yes! 362 00:20:26,435 --> 00:20:28,725 Wha-- Then, who's Sofia? 363 00:20:28,812 --> 00:20:30,942 -Who? -Sofia, Jason. Who's Sofia? 364 00:20:31,023 --> 00:20:32,483 Some girl at the language school. What's she gotta do with it? 365 00:20:32,566 --> 00:20:35,436 -Why has she been messaging you? -She-- Have you been reading my texts? 366 00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:37,237 "We should do that again soon. Kiss, kiss." 367 00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:39,411 My God, I've been giving her some extra tuition, all right? 368 00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:42,529 Oh, right. And you only tutor cute girls called Sofia? 369 00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:44,788 She asked for my help, so I gave her some help. 370 00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:47,410 -Isn't that what this is all about, Nikki? -Out of the goodness of your heart? 371 00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:50,497 Yeah, 'cause I'm not an arsehole or a child. Remember that? 372 00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:54,464 Well, what about the gym? And all your running? 373 00:20:54,546 --> 00:20:57,126 Fine. Fine! I-- 374 00:20:58,258 --> 00:20:59,468 The-- 375 00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,891 My medical's come through much sooner than I imagined, 376 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:04,180 and I've not been sticking to my regime at all! 377 00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:08,144 -I've been smoking. -Yeah, no. I know you have. 378 00:21:08,227 --> 00:21:11,017 -I smell it on your clothes. -And I just-- 379 00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:13,824 I've let you down. 380 00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:16,435 And this could really mess things up. 381 00:21:16,527 --> 00:21:18,107 And I've been running [stammers] 382 00:21:18,195 --> 00:21:20,775 and doing everything I can to try and make it better. 383 00:21:25,911 --> 00:21:27,041 What are you laughing at? 384 00:21:28,497 --> 00:21:30,367 -Jason. -Yes? 385 00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:32,750 You can't... 386 00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:36,628 You can't cram for a medical. It's not a GCSE. 387 00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,803 -I know now. -[Nikki laughs] 388 00:21:39,550 --> 00:21:41,050 Come here. 389 00:21:41,635 --> 00:21:44,555 -[Nikki laughing] -Not having a bloody affair. 390 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,480 Wait. Sorry, sorry, sorry. 391 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:50,940 Freddy's having an affair? 392 00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:53,692 -I feel like we've been through this. -But does Erica know? 393 00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:56,782 -No. -Bastard! 394 00:21:56,859 --> 00:21:57,729 Where are you going? 395 00:21:57,818 --> 00:22:00,028 I've got a lot of anger that I was gonna use on you 396 00:22:00,112 --> 00:22:01,492 that I now need to get rid of. 397 00:22:01,572 --> 00:22:03,912 [Jason groaning] 398 00:22:07,703 --> 00:22:09,293 -Oh, hey. Got any more of those-- -I want a word with you. 399 00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:11,331 Ow. Wait. Why are you pushing me? 400 00:22:11,415 --> 00:22:12,995 -Hey. All right. All right. -Get in there. 401 00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:14,963 Ow! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 402 00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:16,463 Ow! Aw! 403 00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:19,837 -Ow! What are you doing? -Now, you listen to me. 404 00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:22,342 Do you know who future Freddy is without Erica? 405 00:22:22,426 --> 00:22:23,636 -What? -I'll tell you who he is. 406 00:22:23,719 --> 00:22:26,809 He's a creepy old man in a bad suit soaked in Paco Rabanne, 407 00:22:26,889 --> 00:22:29,889 begging women who, by the way, are only talking to him ironically, 408 00:22:29,975 --> 00:22:33,055 to come back to his sad, lonely, little apartment his children never visit. 409 00:22:33,979 --> 00:22:35,649 This is your last warning. 410 00:22:36,190 --> 00:22:37,360 End it. 411 00:22:37,441 --> 00:22:38,531 [muffled] I just-- Look. 412 00:22:38,901 --> 00:22:42,741 Okay, I just-- I will. I just need to find the right way and the right time. 413 00:22:42,821 --> 00:22:44,741 The right way is with your mouth. 414 00:22:44,823 --> 00:22:47,413 And the right time is now. Okay? 415 00:22:47,492 --> 00:22:51,082 And if you ever do anything like this to my friend again, I will come for you, 416 00:22:51,163 --> 00:22:54,633 and I will pop your head off your body like a bloody champagne cork. Understand? 417 00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:57,208 Yes, yes. Please, just don't tell Erica. 418 00:22:59,171 --> 00:23:00,301 Please. 419 00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:02,381 [Nikki sighs] 420 00:23:05,511 --> 00:23:06,511 [hand slaps leg] 421 00:23:09,139 --> 00:23:10,139 [door rattles] 422 00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:20,650 [door slams] 423 00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:21,864 -What's the matter? You all right? -Yeah. 424 00:23:22,861 --> 00:23:23,781 [Freddy sobs] 425 00:23:23,862 --> 00:23:26,492 -You made him cry? -Oh, please. He's crying for himself. 426 00:23:27,032 --> 00:23:28,162 Like OJ. 427 00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:32,701 [sighs] So, this is our support network? 428 00:23:32,788 --> 00:23:34,998 -Yeah. -I heard what she said. 429 00:23:35,082 --> 00:23:37,542 Tell you what though. Everyone's still here. 430 00:23:37,626 --> 00:23:40,586 -[snickers] That supposed to cheer me up? -Well, it's a shit party, innit? 431 00:23:40,671 --> 00:23:42,341 No one here gets along, and no one's having fun. 432 00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:44,802 -Well, Jason, that isn't really-- -But no one's left. 433 00:23:44,883 --> 00:23:47,223 [Karen and Jilly, indistinct] 434 00:23:47,302 --> 00:23:48,892 We want people that we can rely on. 435 00:23:48,971 --> 00:23:51,101 -I am not sensitive. -You are. You are. 436 00:23:51,181 --> 00:23:52,891 And who else would still be here? 437 00:23:52,975 --> 00:23:56,055 -[Jilly] Well, sometimes you are. -[Karen] I am not! 438 00:23:57,312 --> 00:24:00,522 Guys. Say if not. Any chance I could have a quick bath? 439 00:24:03,402 --> 00:24:05,402 [Nikki] Just, you need to kinda-- You need to shift your body over. 440 00:24:05,487 --> 00:24:06,947 -[Jason] I've shifted my body over... -[Nikki laughs] 441 00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:08,030 ...as far as I can. 442 00:24:08,115 --> 00:24:09,655 -Yeah, drop your head onto it. -I'm not gonna drop it on it. 443 00:24:09,741 --> 00:24:10,991 -It'll hurt, won't it? -Drop your head onto it. 444 00:24:11,076 --> 00:24:13,286 -I'm gonna place it on nice and gently. -Okay. [laughs] 445 00:24:13,370 --> 00:24:15,000 Now, what's the reading? What's the reading? 446 00:24:16,373 --> 00:24:17,923 Well, you've gone up. You're a stone and a half. 447 00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:20,671 -Stone and a half? -Yeah. 448 00:24:20,752 --> 00:24:22,172 You see. Massive. 449 00:24:22,254 --> 00:24:23,424 [chuckles] 450 00:24:27,718 --> 00:24:28,718 Are we okay? 451 00:24:30,804 --> 00:24:31,644 Yeah. 452 00:24:32,389 --> 00:24:33,809 'Cause I meant what I said. 453 00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:35,888 I need you with me. 454 00:24:37,561 --> 00:24:41,061 I don't wanna turn into Erica and Freddy and their terrible, perfect lives. 455 00:24:41,148 --> 00:24:43,148 -Well, we won't. -[sighs] 456 00:24:46,445 --> 00:24:48,355 I was frightened, you know. 457 00:24:51,074 --> 00:24:52,534 -Are you frightened now? -No. 458 00:24:54,036 --> 00:24:55,286 No, I'm not. 459 00:24:55,370 --> 00:24:57,160 [siren wailing in distance] 460 00:24:59,750 --> 00:25:01,670 I don't wanna be the Paco Rabanne guy. 461 00:25:05,839 --> 00:25:07,929 We've got the adoption panel coming up. 462 00:25:08,008 --> 00:25:10,928 And we have to convince other people that we're a perfect couple. 463 00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:13,684 Well, we will. 464 00:25:15,474 --> 00:25:17,144 I'm just gonna tell them the truth. 465 00:25:19,478 --> 00:25:22,688 That I can't imagine ever being apart from you. 466 00:25:26,151 --> 00:25:31,201 Because I'm trapped in the orbit of your stupid, fat head. 467 00:25:36,370 --> 00:25:38,250 Stone and a half. 468 00:25:38,330 --> 00:25:40,210 [Nikki laughing] 469 00:25:48,215 --> 00:25:49,675 [chattering] 470 00:25:49,758 --> 00:25:51,468 -It's cold. -You cold? 471 00:25:51,552 --> 00:25:52,552 Yeah. 472 00:25:54,096 --> 00:25:55,176 There we go. 473 00:25:57,349 --> 00:25:58,389 Gorgeous. 474 00:26:12,573 --> 00:26:16,373 -[Jason, indistinct] -[Nikki laughs]