1 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,177 [breathing heavily] 2 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:14,809 -That was all right, wasn't it? -Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes. 3 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:16,230 [both laugh] 4 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:20,650 -I think it's better now, isn't it? -I agree. Yeah. 5 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:24,779 Well, pressure's off, innit? There's no cycles, ovulation windows. 6 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:28,108 I feel like I'm a professional tennis player... 7 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,775 -Mm. -...who's retired. 8 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,284 And now that I'm playing for fun, 9 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:36,196 I've sort of, like, fallen back in love with the game. 10 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,499 It's nice not to use protection as well, innit? 11 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,461 -Mm-hmm. -You know, you just gotta, 12 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,633 you know, plug and play. 13 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:48,011 I think it's just nature evening things up. 14 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:52,760 Blind people get great hearing, infertile people get great sex! 15 00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:57,023 Hello. 16 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:58,891 Right. 17 00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:06,444 Jason! 18 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,614 Jason! 19 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:12,201 [panting] 20 00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,116 What? 21 00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,663 It's from the adoption people. 22 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:18,914 -Is it? -Yeah. 23 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:21,366 -Don't you want to open it? -No, no. I know what it says. 24 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:22,576 It says we don't give children 25 00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,996 to people who admit they drink too much, smoke and have no money. 26 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,835 Okay. All right. 27 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:38,681 It's fine, it's fine. Just tell me. 28 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,346 -Jason. -It says-- It says... 29 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,019 ...nothing. It's just more forms, by the looks of it. 30 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,106 -What? -Yeah. 31 00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:48,191 -They didn't reject us? -No. 32 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,815 -We're still in with a chance? -It looks like it, yeah. 33 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:50,902 -How? -I don't know. 34 00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:53,066 Maybe they're so desperate for people, they'll take anyone. 35 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:54,445 Oh, that's so great. 36 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,491 -[Jason laughs] -Mm! 37 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:04,499 Look, I think this is gonna be a pretty long, drawn-out process. 38 00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:07,843 So maybe we should just, you know, pace ourselves, take it easy. 39 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,380 -Do you know what I mean? -Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 40 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,423 -Absolutely, absolutely. -Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 41 00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:14,257 I'm gonna go get a pen. I'm so excited. 42 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,373 [chattering] 43 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:39,492 -[Alisha] Jason. -Yeah. 44 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,576 -We need to talk. -Why, is something wrong? 45 00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:44,538 You got problems, dude. 46 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:48,173 You "have" problems, dude. Have problems. 47 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:49,836 Hi. 48 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,634 Do we have to have the talk again? 49 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,393 Alisha, I've got to vary the lessons. They're getting bored. 50 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:57,508 How many times? 51 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:02,176 You cannot teach English through Rihanna songs and football chants. 52 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:05,436 This is a business, not Dead Poets Society. 53 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,519 I know, but it-- 54 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:09,483 Look, I have half the budget and half the time I need 55 00:03:09,565 --> 00:03:11,645 to do this job properly. 56 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:15,953 And I'm too exhausted to argue. Just work the textbook. 57 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,909 Yeah, but the textbooks are old. They need new ones. 58 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,490 Well, we can't afford them. 59 00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:21,785 I mean, the maps have still got Yugoslavia on 'em. 60 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:26,869 Okay, let me explain something to you: Britain is done. 61 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,247 It is done. 62 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:32,463 It is old, and it is dying, and no one is coming here. 63 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,006 And when people don't come, neither does their money. 64 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:38,680 Alisha, we promise these kids a lot. We're not meeting their expectations. 65 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,260 They're from Eastern Europe. They don't have any expectations. 66 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:45,927 I saw two of them in the toilets taking a selfie with a Dyson Airblade. 67 00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:47,098 No, you didn't. 68 00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:49,515 Just get them out and into jobs 69 00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:51,975 so they can send money back to their haggard families. 70 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:58,235 Yeah, I know you wanna be at the birth, 71 00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:02,162 but it's just a very busy time for us and we just don't have the cars. 72 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,503 Right. Yeah, no. 73 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,749 I know you're frustrated. I do. I understand that. 74 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,382 But this really isn't our fault. 75 00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:12,539 You know, maybe your sister shouldn't have got pregnant 76 00:04:12,628 --> 00:04:14,838 exactly nine months before a bank holiday. 77 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,759 Do you know what I mean? 78 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:21,676 Is Ruby about? Just need her to proofread some contracts. 79 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,352 Oh, I could do that if you want. 80 00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:26,977 Oh. Okay, yeah. 81 00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,228 Uh... 82 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:31,521 No, it's okay. I'll, uh-- 83 00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:34,936 -Yeah. No. Thanks, though. -Oh. Oh. 84 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,485 [chuckles] 85 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:39,988 [Jen] Uh-huh. Well, I literally don't know how to help you. 86 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:45,201 Yeah. Have you thought about getting the bus? 87 00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:50,958 Right, and exactly how far is Cornwall from Scotland? 88 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,545 Oh, yeah, that is far. 89 00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:59,295 [dog barking] 90 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:00,843 Let's see what we've got then. 91 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,889 -Crisps? -Yeah. 92 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,391 -And 7UP? -Lovely. 93 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,682 It's a support group, not a sleepover. 94 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:12,192 -Oh, my God, barbecue? -Well, we love barbecue. 95 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:13,771 They're French. 96 00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,396 Did you get them from the guy at the market 97 00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,032 that we said we weren't gonna go to anymore? 98 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:18,359 -He's all right. -Jase. 99 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:21,493 He sold me some tartar sauce that was best before 2002. 100 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,162 -[laughs] -Barbecue. 101 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,450 They're not-- They're not sophisticated. 102 00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:28,164 -Why didn't you get the posh flavors? -What's the posh flavors? 103 00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,245 Right. It goes: 104 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,329 sea salt and cracked black pepper, salt and balsamic vinegar, 105 00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:34,956 lightly salted, cheese and onion, prawn cocktail, 106 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,883 and then chicken at the bottom, and then barbecue. 107 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,430 Jase, you've got a stain. 108 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,811 Oh. Yeah, I know. 109 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,469 I wetted it and then it was damp, 110 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,227 so I couldn't see if it was still there or not. 111 00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:51,309 Hang on... 112 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,519 [scoffs] 113 00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:56,648 -Made it worse. -Yeah, I know. 114 00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:59,282 -Don't worry about it. -[chattering] 115 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,359 Hello. 116 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,355 We didn't bring a rug. 117 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,122 -All right, mate? -Mm. 118 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,080 -Hiya. -Hello, hi. Marcus. 119 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,540 -I'm Nikki. -Hello, Nikki. 120 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:10,620 Hello, Marcus. Jason. 121 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,334 -Jason, nice to meet you. -Yeah, nice to meet you. 122 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,084 -Brought some things for the... -Oh, thank you. Um... 123 00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,796 Yeah, you know, should we pop this under the table 124 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,260 -outta the sun for now? -Yeah, okay. 125 00:06:22,466 --> 00:06:23,876 There we go. Thank you. 126 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,137 -Is this all up for grabs, Marcus? Yeah? -You help yourself. 127 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,390 -Yeah, yeah. -Thank you. 128 00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:28,471 Lovely. 129 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,023 -Cracking spread. -Mm. 130 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,310 So, uh, are all these people adopting? 131 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,404 Trying to. 132 00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:38,112 The borough's pretty oversubscribed. 133 00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:39,480 -God. -Bloody hell. 134 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,726 Excuse me, I'm just gonna... 135 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,777 -Okay. -[Jason] Fair, mate. 136 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,120 Never really thought about there being competition. 137 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:49,329 Don't worry. We got game. 138 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,664 Jason, really. 139 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:52,825 Out of all these people here, 140 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,213 why would they give a kid to a bloke who just licked his own top? 141 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:59,043 There's a razor-thin line between the T-shirts you wear to bed 142 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,627 and the ones you wear during the day. 143 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:01,712 Step it up. 144 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,014 Well, I suppose we're all just waiting 145 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,604 to see the long-term effects of the regional adoption agencies. 146 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:10,680 Yeah. 147 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,724 The Adoption Support Fund's been given 12 million, 148 00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:15,688 -which is, you know, a drop in the ocean. -It's amazing. 149 00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,687 Right, yeah. Of course. 150 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,106 So, what is it that you both do? 151 00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:22,941 I'm an educational consultant. 152 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:24,776 Oh! Cool. 153 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:26,702 -And... -Journalist, political. 154 00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:31,161 Financial advisor. 155 00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:33,333 My wife's an artist, ceramics. 156 00:07:33,412 --> 00:07:34,542 Cardiologist. 157 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,711 Solicitor. 158 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,919 A filmmaker. Wildlife documentaries. 159 00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,381 Oh, I work for the council. 160 00:07:41,170 --> 00:07:42,670 Oh. Okay. 161 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:46,974 Yeah, I'm the strategic lead for business development and commercial partnerships. 162 00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:52,009 [Denise] Have you done much prep reading? 163 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:55,307 [Claudette] Um, have you read The Connected Parent? 164 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,522 -[Jason] No. -It's great on bonding. 165 00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:58,603 -Is it? -[Nikki] No. 166 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,227 [Denise] Five Stages of Infant Attachment? 167 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:04,025 I think we said we wanted to wait for the film on that one, didn't we? 168 00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:05,109 [both laugh] 169 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:09,105 We've been told they like you to have experience with kids, 170 00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:10,698 so we've been volunteering. 171 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,872 Yeah, and luckily my work gives me a lot of exposure. 172 00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:15,372 Yeah, um, what is it that you do exactly? 173 00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:16,874 Educational consultant? 174 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,825 I work with adults with learning and behavioral difficulties. 175 00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:20,917 No way. So do I. 176 00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:23,085 -Really? -Yeah. 177 00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:26,301 My boss. [cackles] 178 00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,471 Your boss has behavioral difficulties? 179 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:31,215 No. 180 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,973 -Sorry, I don't understand. -It was a joke. 181 00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,466 -I was just-- -Ah! 182 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:38,807 'Cause she's a pain in the ass. No, she's all there. 183 00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:40,354 All right. 184 00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,861 So, uh, so what do you do? 185 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:48,281 Me? I teach English as a foreign language. 186 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:51,952 Oh! I did that for a summer when I was 18. Yeah. 187 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:54,874 [clears throat] Yeah. Lot of fun. Lot of fun. 188 00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:58,659 Oh, God. 189 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,213 We're competing against the cream here, Jase. 190 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,631 Yeah. Maybe we should just move to a shittier borough, hey? 191 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,130 Yeah, maybe. 192 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,632 I mean, that Ben man talked to me about American politics for 30 minutes. 193 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,545 -Oh, God. -I couldn't talk about any politics 194 00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:11,934 for 30 minutes. 195 00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:15,011 Well, not unless I talked really, really slowly. 196 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,849 -Hang on. Magic. -[ice cubes clatter] 197 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,570 [chattering] 198 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:32,489 So, this group's a little like prison. 199 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:35,163 You're not supposed to ask why people are here, but... 200 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,582 Well, we had some fertility issues. 201 00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:38,871 Oh, I'm so sorry. 202 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:40,911 -Cheesecake's out. -Oh. 203 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,828 -Hello. -This is Luke. Luke, this is Jason. 204 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,996 -Jason. How are you, mate? -Yeah, nice to meet you. 205 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,922 -IVF? -Oh, yeah. 206 00:09:48,005 --> 00:09:50,465 -We tried it, but it's complicated. -Mm. 207 00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:52,929 Juice not worth the squeeze, Luke, if you know what I mean. 208 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:54,850 My window wasn't as big as other people's. 209 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,928 -No. -I should have been sluttier in my 20s. 210 00:09:57,014 --> 00:10:00,184 -Well, you gave it a good go. -Yeah, I did. 211 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,439 So, why are you adopting? 212 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:07,441 -Uh, we both have penises. -Oh. 213 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,994 -That makes sense, yeah. -And where are you at with it all? 214 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:11,398 -We're going for our second. -Wow. 215 00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:12,486 -Really? -Yeah. 216 00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:15,991 -Uh, this is Jade, our first. -Stop it. 217 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,704 -Gorge. -Absolutely beautiful. 218 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,874 -She's so beautiful. -Actually, really beautiful, man. 219 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,623 -I hate you so much. -Yeah, we've been really lucky. 220 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,540 Passed panel first time. Got the child of our dreams. 221 00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:27,746 Getting on really well with the biological parents. 222 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,206 That is so good to hear. 223 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,626 Honestly, it's amazing. You're gonna love it. 224 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:35,466 Oh, God. I mean, can we adopt you? Like, is that-- 225 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:36,852 Well, I only wanna give you a hug. 226 00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:38,599 -Is he available? -I'm gonna do it. I'm giving a hug. 227 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,140 Here, Jase. Can you hold my drink? Come here. 228 00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:42,225 This is good. 229 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:45,149 -All right. Careful, he's not on fire. -Mm. [laughs] 230 00:10:45,938 --> 00:10:47,938 All right, should we go? Just-- 231 00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:50,283 [Nikki mumbling] 232 00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:53,149 -Handshake. All right, then. -Come here. 233 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:54,612 This is nice. 234 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:00,660 Thanks, guys. 235 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:01,754 Mm. 236 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:07,707 -I see you met, uh, Luke and Kwame. -Yeah, so nice, so positive. 237 00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:10,003 Yeah. But then, I would be too. 238 00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:14,757 I think it's a bit easier when you're, you know, black. 239 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,393 Yeah, this area has a lot of minority kids, 240 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:22,771 and, uh, they like to, you know, "match." 241 00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,020 Yeah. Well, I mean, that makes sense, doesn't it? 242 00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:30,728 Good to go? 243 00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:34,904 Have you got worms? 244 00:11:35,988 --> 00:11:37,528 They're just a couple of racists. 245 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:40,244 The sort of people who think immigrants get all the council houses. 246 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,905 -No, they didn't look racist. -You can't tell anymore. 247 00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:44,995 It's all white-collar now. It's been gentrified. 248 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,620 -We're at the bottom of the queue. -[baby fusses] 249 00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:51,127 They all go to museums and art galleries. They have degrees. 250 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,131 -Degrees don't mean anything. -Mm. 251 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,590 Yeah, you can say that. You all have one. 252 00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,184 Yeah, but theirs are from Portsmouth. 253 00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,595 -It's a good uni. -It's a conference center with a motto. 254 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,389 -It's top 15 in sports science. -[sighs] 255 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,563 He's literally got a degree in burpees. 256 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,942 -[baby crying] -This doesn't work when I do it. 257 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,100 Can you... 258 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,276 -Shh, shh, shh. -Doesn't mean anything. 259 00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:15,533 Yeah. 260 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:18,195 You should read The Connected Parent though. 261 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,280 It's great on bonding. 262 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:27,290 Turn to page 22 in the textbooks. We're gonna look at, um, greetings. 263 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,292 Formal and informal greet-- Yes? 264 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,884 -The answers are already in here. -What? 265 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,210 Someone has written already the answers in the book. 266 00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:36,297 -Really? -Yeah. 267 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:38,971 -Has everyone got that? -Yes. 268 00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:43,715 I'm sorry. Um, all right. So let-- 269 00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:46,015 Everyone put their left hand over the answers 270 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,269 that have been written in their book. 271 00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:48,851 What is "tosser"? 272 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,150 What? What's "tosser"? 273 00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:52,650 Tosser. 274 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,822 Well, it's-- Let's have a look. 275 00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:01,454 Wow, yeah. 276 00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:05,661 This is quite offensive. Um... 277 00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:09,464 We need new books. We pay our money for this. 278 00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:12,173 I know. 279 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:16,088 Listen, though, do you know what? This is good. 280 00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:17,591 Actually, this is good, 281 00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:19,803 'cause if you're gonna work with English people, 282 00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:22,013 then you're gonna need to know these words. 283 00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:27,104 Um... Okay, right. No, this is-- this is good. 284 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:30,692 Toss-er. Um... 285 00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:33,149 Any other words you've come across that you might not understand? 286 00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,190 "Knobhead"? 287 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,440 Knobhead. 288 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,574 It's a silent K. 289 00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:41,662 Knob as in "penis," head. 290 00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,033 Lovely. Anything else? 291 00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:45,656 "Wanker." 292 00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:47,948 -"Wanker." -Wanker. 293 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,286 Wanker, exactly. 294 00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:55,541 Wank-er. Wanker. There you go. 295 00:13:58,172 --> 00:13:59,172 Hi. 296 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,175 [Jason stammers] 297 00:14:33,749 --> 00:14:34,789 -So... -[phone ringing] 298 00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:37,995 ...it's basically a competition and the winner gets a kid? 299 00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:41,296 Um, try not to think of it like that, Jen. 300 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,971 -Oh, so everyone gets a kid? -No. 301 00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,431 So, how do they decide? 302 00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,011 It's just based on how good a candidate you are. 303 00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:51,676 Right. Does sound like a competition. 304 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,691 Sort of think it can't be that hard if Madonna did it. 305 00:14:56,772 --> 00:14:58,822 No, I don't-- I don't think she went through the council. 306 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,479 She-- She sort of went direct. 307 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,071 -Ruby, have you got those contracts? -The ones you wanted proofread? 308 00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:05,914 Fantastic. Thank you. Oh, you're great. 309 00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,239 -Thank you. Cheers. -Anytime. 310 00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,366 [sighs] 311 00:15:20,212 --> 00:15:21,382 -Hey. -Oh. Hello. 312 00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:24,803 -Want some? -I've just-- I'm trying to give up. 313 00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:26,053 -Oh. -Yeah. 314 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,224 Good to you. 315 00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:32,218 -[siren wailing in distance] -[chattering] 316 00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:37,765 -Sorry to be complaining. -Oh, that's okay. I... 317 00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:41,360 I need to speak better for work. 318 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,861 Oh. Do you have work? 319 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,403 -Yeah. -Mm. 320 00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,196 In restaurant only. 321 00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:49,701 What would you like to do? Where would you like to work? 322 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:52,083 -I'm a teacher. -Ah, no way. 323 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,580 Yeah. Was a teacher at home. 324 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:56,495 I just need to... 325 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,207 Speak better. 326 00:15:58,292 --> 00:15:59,292 -Yeah. -Yeah. 327 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:04,340 Right. Well, listen, you're not gonna get what you need here. 328 00:16:04,423 --> 00:16:08,143 So, you should maybe think about some, um, private tuition. 329 00:16:08,677 --> 00:16:10,927 Oh. [chuckles] I have no money. 330 00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:13,853 Right. Which you can't get until you get a better job, 331 00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:16,482 -which you can't get until you can, uh... -Speak better. 332 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,350 Right, yeah, yes. 333 00:16:19,438 --> 00:16:20,438 Yeah. 334 00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:26,743 Listen, if you want, I could give you some extra help. 335 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,410 -I have no money, remember? -Yeah, I know. 336 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,029 But I don't need money. So... 337 00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:34,157 -What? Really? -Yeah, it's fine. 338 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:37,955 Thank you. 339 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,960 -It's okay. -Cool. 340 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,133 [chuckles] 341 00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:47,091 [Erica] Don't worry too much about reading all of these. 342 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:50,089 It's 80% making sure you've got wet wipes. 343 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:53,637 And it'll be easier for you 'cause you can just drink all the way through it. 344 00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:56,432 I mean, I sort of did too, but you're not supposed to. 345 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,360 And your body's not gonna change. 346 00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,319 Oh, I really miss my tits. [chuckles] 347 00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:06,608 I used to have spectacular tits. 348 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,613 I mean, I love my kids. I wouldn't swap my kids for my tits. 349 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,025 Okay, well, no. That's good. 350 00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:14,494 But if I could just have my tits at, like, weekends 351 00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:17,246 and then get the kids back on Monday, then I'd probably do that. 352 00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:18,619 [Nikki chuckles] 353 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,460 [Nikki sighs] 354 00:17:25,921 --> 00:17:28,011 I don't think it's supposed to feel like this. 355 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:33,182 [inhales deeply] It didn't with Lauren. 356 00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:36,854 Hey. 357 00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,193 -How are things with Freddy? -Oh! 358 00:17:46,692 --> 00:17:48,152 Right, still no sex. 359 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:53,953 He says that he has been emotionally scarred by the birth. 360 00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:56,542 -Wow. Right. -[chuckles] Mm. 361 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:59,498 Okay, well, that's quite an annoying thing to say. 362 00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:02,580 Uh, because you were actually scarred by the birth. 363 00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:05,666 -Yeah, he can be quite an annoying person. -Mm-hmm. 364 00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:09,297 No, it's fine. It's just a difficult time. 365 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:11,550 It'll pass. 366 00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:15,718 Oh! 367 00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:17,974 -Oh, God. They are lovely. -Oh! 368 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:20,433 [Nikki chuckles] 369 00:18:21,894 --> 00:18:23,564 [both laugh] 370 00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:26,518 Let's go out. [clears throat] I'll buy you dinner. 371 00:18:26,607 --> 00:18:28,977 Yeah? I mean, I think you sort of have to now. 372 00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:40,035 I booked us tickets to a lecture. 373 00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:44,075 -On purpose? -Yes, on purpose. 374 00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:49,626 It's more of a talk on child psychology. 375 00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:52,133 -Luke and Kwame go to them. -All right, yeah. 376 00:18:52,216 --> 00:18:54,046 Jase, this is just something that we do now. 377 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,224 Okay. 378 00:18:56,512 --> 00:18:58,392 Also, we should start watching the news. 379 00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:00,352 -I already watch the news. -Oh, do ya? 380 00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:03,982 Yes, I do. Sometimes it's nice to see someone else having a worse day than you. 381 00:19:08,232 --> 00:19:09,532 What you doing? 382 00:19:09,608 --> 00:19:10,898 -Lesson plan. -Mm. 383 00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:15,196 -You got nice writing. -Why, thank you. 384 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,080 It's nice how your generation values good penmanship. 385 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,368 [siren wailing in distance] 386 00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:26,327 Oi! Get off me. 387 00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:29,497 Oi! Get-- J, get off me. 388 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:33,840 [murmuring] 389 00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:36,344 [Jason] It's a queue. You bought us tickets to a queue. 390 00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:37,506 [Nikki] Stop it. 391 00:19:39,972 --> 00:19:43,642 Twenty pounds? For a book we're not even gonna read? 392 00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,185 You have to buy the book. It's rude otherwise. 393 00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:48,480 -How long is it? -It's about, I don't know, 400 pages. 394 00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:50,824 -No, I mean the lecture. -It's one hour. 395 00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:53,567 -Then another hour. -Mate. 396 00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,526 -It's just 20 minutes after that. -[sputters] 397 00:19:58,323 --> 00:19:59,623 What's it even about? 398 00:20:00,659 --> 00:20:03,369 "Sub-- Subjectivity speak--" How am I gonna understand the lecture 399 00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:05,503 if I can't understand the title of his book? 400 00:20:05,581 --> 00:20:06,791 Twenty pound-- All right, mate. 401 00:20:06,874 --> 00:20:07,884 Hiya. 402 00:20:08,959 --> 00:20:11,589 Could you put, um, uh, "To Nikki and Jason. 403 00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:15,130 Thank you for coming. Always keep learning. 404 00:20:17,176 --> 00:20:19,596 And good luck with the adoption"? 405 00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:28,352 [Jason] Sorry. 406 00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:36,105 Oh, that was weird. 407 00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:38,655 Shut up. I get nervous around clever people. 408 00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:46,749 [zipper zips] 409 00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:49,423 Mm. 410 00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:51,669 -Got all the gear, haven't you? -Yeah. 411 00:20:51,752 --> 00:20:54,802 -Three different color highlighters? -Yeah, 'cause we might need them. 412 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:56,970 -Got your compass in there? -No. 413 00:20:57,049 --> 00:20:59,219 -Set square? -It's not that kind of lecture. 414 00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:01,261 -Protractor? -Shut up. 415 00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,847 Welcome, and thank you so much for coming. 416 00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:08,392 Okay, so, uh, let's slay some dragons. 417 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:11,231 What I propose is a link 418 00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:17,783 between Winnicott's transitional object and Lacan's objet petit a... 419 00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:22,989 viewed in the context of the child's development of desire and subjectivity. 420 00:21:23,951 --> 00:21:27,701 -And so, let Winnicott be our guide. -"Allcock." 421 00:21:27,788 --> 00:21:31,628 On this, I can really recommend his whole oeuvre. 422 00:21:31,708 --> 00:21:33,458 In fact, I would recommend everyone... 423 00:21:33,544 --> 00:21:34,964 -What's an oeuvre? -Don't embarrass me. 424 00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:38,255 ...in this room to go right back to his clinical notes on child disorder... 425 00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:45,060 So, we've understood self as subject, self as object 426 00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:48,018 and the self with object. 427 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,350 Okay, I think we'll take a short break here. 428 00:21:51,436 --> 00:21:53,516 Is everyone happy if I lose this from the screen? 429 00:21:53,605 --> 00:21:55,645 Oh, no, no. Hang on. Hang on. 430 00:22:00,404 --> 00:22:01,414 Great. 431 00:22:02,239 --> 00:22:06,449 When we come back, we'll be moving on to self as other. 432 00:22:06,535 --> 00:22:08,905 Ooh! There be monsters. 433 00:22:08,996 --> 00:22:11,866 [all chuckle] 434 00:22:11,957 --> 00:22:14,127 Is that it? All right, thank God for that. Come on, let's go. 435 00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:15,749 No, I'm enjoying it. I'm learning a lot. 436 00:22:15,836 --> 00:22:17,586 You don't understand this any more than I do. 437 00:22:17,671 --> 00:22:18,671 Yes, I do. 438 00:22:18,755 --> 00:22:21,715 Says the woman who had to pause Avengers: Infinity War every five minutes. 439 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,850 -Come on. -At least I'm trying. 440 00:22:24,928 --> 00:22:27,598 [stammers] What's the matter? 441 00:22:29,558 --> 00:22:31,388 -What's the matter? -You're not taking it seriously. 442 00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:32,636 'Cause this isn't us. 443 00:22:32,728 --> 00:22:35,808 We hate stuff like this. We make fun out of people who come to stuff like this. 444 00:22:35,898 --> 00:22:37,898 Well, maybe I'm tired of being that person. 445 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,530 Oi! 446 00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:46,624 Nikki. 447 00:22:47,117 --> 00:22:51,327 -Nikki. Hey. What's going on? -No, I don't want to talk about it. 448 00:22:52,206 --> 00:22:53,206 Okay. 449 00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:57,673 I want to have something to say when I talk to these people. 450 00:22:58,378 --> 00:23:00,838 -What people? -You know, the people. 451 00:23:00,923 --> 00:23:03,383 The people, Jason. The people that are gonna be judging us 452 00:23:03,467 --> 00:23:05,297 and taking notes on everything we say from now on. 453 00:23:05,385 --> 00:23:08,385 You've met one bloke who's read a book on American politics and you flip out. 454 00:23:08,472 --> 00:23:11,482 -Yeah, because I'm sick of feeling stupid! -Nikki, you are not-- 455 00:23:11,558 --> 00:23:14,808 Sorry, but I am. I'm sick of panicking in every conversation I have 456 00:23:14,895 --> 00:23:16,895 just in case I use a word in the wrong way, 457 00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:19,270 or in case someone asks me where I went to university. 458 00:23:19,358 --> 00:23:21,778 -Come on. None of that stuff matters. -It matters to me! 459 00:23:26,490 --> 00:23:30,830 These people, Jason, they always see through me, 460 00:23:30,911 --> 00:23:32,791 and so will the social workers. 461 00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:35,709 Well, you know what? 462 00:23:36,792 --> 00:23:39,342 Screw 'em, hey? Screw 'em. 463 00:23:40,295 --> 00:23:42,205 They're no better than us. 464 00:23:42,297 --> 00:23:45,837 We're good people. We love each other. We got good jobs. 465 00:23:45,926 --> 00:23:48,176 [sputters] Yeah, right. 466 00:23:48,929 --> 00:23:54,559 There is a sign near my desk reminding me to say my name when I answer the phone. 467 00:23:54,643 --> 00:23:57,693 We've got jobs that people get stuck in, not jobs people choose. 468 00:23:57,771 --> 00:24:00,321 Look, I might not have a fancy title and earn lots of money, 469 00:24:00,399 --> 00:24:02,029 but it's a good job, all right? 470 00:24:03,318 --> 00:24:07,068 And I work hard. I work really hard. So, can we-- can we-- Look... 471 00:24:08,574 --> 00:24:13,794 Can we just go home? 'Cause, actually, I'd love to just watch Avengers now. 472 00:24:14,246 --> 00:24:15,246 No. 473 00:24:16,081 --> 00:24:18,291 If you wanna go, go. 474 00:24:18,375 --> 00:24:20,085 But I'm gonna take this seriously. 475 00:24:20,169 --> 00:24:23,839 I am 33 and I want to take something in my life seriously. 476 00:24:26,008 --> 00:24:28,588 And maybe if we'd taken ourselves seriously earlier, 477 00:24:28,677 --> 00:24:32,347 we wouldn't both be stuck in jobs that pay nothing and are really hard. 478 00:24:33,098 --> 00:24:33,928 Sorry. 479 00:25:05,756 --> 00:25:08,376 [lecturer, indistinct] 480 00:25:16,225 --> 00:25:18,135 -Excuse me. -Yeah, of course. Sorry, mate. 481 00:25:35,118 --> 00:25:37,788 -Cheers. Thank you. -There you go. Enjoy your meal. 482 00:25:48,674 --> 00:25:51,804 [slurping] 483 00:25:53,136 --> 00:25:55,426 Do you know that Steve Jobs never went to university? 484 00:25:57,266 --> 00:25:58,516 Nor did Oprah Winfrey. 485 00:26:01,395 --> 00:26:04,565 Or, uh, Larry Ellison. 486 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,280 -Who's Larry Ellison? -No idea. But he never went to university. 487 00:26:12,281 --> 00:26:14,621 Is this supposed to be an apology? 488 00:26:15,534 --> 00:26:18,624 If you wanna go to more talks and stuff, then we can do that, all right? 489 00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:22,711 -It's fine. It doesn't matter. -No, no, really. I was actually-- 490 00:26:23,542 --> 00:26:28,342 I was quite getting into it near the end. There were some pretty interesting points. 491 00:26:29,006 --> 00:26:30,046 -Jason. -Yeah. 492 00:26:30,132 --> 00:26:31,552 This isn't just about us anymore. 493 00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:33,473 We need to convince other people that we're great. 494 00:26:33,552 --> 00:26:35,972 I know, Nikki, but the people that we need to convince 495 00:26:36,054 --> 00:26:39,354 aren't the social workers and the adoption panels or any of that. 496 00:26:39,433 --> 00:26:40,643 It's the kids. 497 00:26:41,768 --> 00:26:44,098 The kids are the ones that have gotta love us. 498 00:26:44,188 --> 00:26:47,358 And you know who loves rubbish films 499 00:26:47,441 --> 00:26:50,111 and eating burgers and hates learning stuff? 500 00:26:50,194 --> 00:26:51,204 Kids. 501 00:26:52,654 --> 00:26:55,324 We're gonna be their favorites. They're all gonna wanna come home with us. 502 00:26:55,407 --> 00:26:58,987 We're gonna have to back the car up and just start piling 'em in. 503 00:27:04,625 --> 00:27:06,165 You don't have to say all this. 504 00:27:06,877 --> 00:27:08,667 Who are they gonna prefer? Hmm? 505 00:27:08,754 --> 00:27:15,434 People that make them go to museums and art galleries, or people that do this? 506 00:27:16,094 --> 00:27:17,644 [chuckles] 507 00:27:18,096 --> 00:27:18,926 See? 508 00:27:20,265 --> 00:27:22,845 -You got the mind of a child. -Hmm. 509 00:27:22,935 --> 00:27:24,385 They're gonna love you. 510 00:27:26,188 --> 00:27:27,398 And I love you. 511 00:27:28,899 --> 00:27:30,109 I love you. 512 00:27:32,402 --> 00:27:34,242 You're so ridiculous. 513 00:27:37,407 --> 00:27:39,327 It's all right. They'll-- They'll oeuvre it up later. 514 00:27:39,409 --> 00:27:43,329 -[Nikki laughs, snorts] -See. Look, she loves it. 515 00:27:45,249 --> 00:27:46,749 Have I got something on my lip? 516 00:27:48,085 --> 00:27:49,415 You're so daft. 517 00:28:05,435 --> 00:28:06,645 What do you guys do? 518 00:28:06,728 --> 00:28:11,478 Well, it's taken a lot. Started training and... 519 00:28:14,778 --> 00:28:16,778 -This one's ready. -Okay. 520 00:28:16,864 --> 00:28:19,874 And then the two salads and... 521 00:28:23,036 --> 00:28:25,246 All right, gents. In the back! 522 00:28:25,789 --> 00:28:26,959 Sofia. 523 00:28:29,334 --> 00:28:30,384 [phone bings]