Yeah. So it's really nothing but good news.
Her grades are outstanding and she's great in class.
She asks good questions, and she's got her own opinions.
And I'm sure that when she gets older,
she's gonna be able to do whatever she wants with her life.
Right.
Sorry?
No. Thank you. That's really sweet.
I mean it.
No, I know you do.
-Okay. Well... were there any questions-- -I just--
I used to be like her.
-Right on. -Yep. Yeah.
Oh, God. I would get all straight As when I was 11.
-Nice. -Oh, my God.
And fifth grade? Come on. I was the shit at math.
-I'd get 100s on my math tests. -That's awesome.
I mean, you know, it didn't really matter, but it felt good at the time.
And everybody would tell me the same things, you know?
"She's so smart. She can do anything as long as she puts her mind to it."
Where did that get me, right?
Do you need to get that?
-No, no, no. -No, that's okay. That's fine.
I gotta go anyway. You go ahead and handle that.
-And thank you. No, it's okay. -It's really okay. We can--
It's okay. Thank you so much for your time.
Okay. Thank you.
-Bye. -Bye-bye.
Yo. Can you talk to your dad, please?
-He called you? -He's been calling me, dude.
-I told you not to give him your number. -Like fucking ten years ago?
-What do you want me to do? -Just don't answer.
-Dude, he will not stop calling. -Turn your phone off.
I have a daughter, dude. I can't turn off my phone.
-Can you-- He'll stop after a while, okay? -Please pick up the phone.
-I can't. I can't. Don't do that. -I'm gonna pick up the phone. Yeah, I am.
Yo, Artie. Hey. How's it going?
Hello? Victor?
Hi, Dad.
Josh, Jesus Christ. Thank God.
You can't be calling Victor in the middle of the night.
I'm having a heart attack. Do you hear me?
Please. I'm scared.
You sound fine.
-I need to go to a hospital. -Then go to a hospital.
-I don't have a car. -You had one last time I saw you.
Yeah. Well, I mean, how long ago was that?
Look. If you're really having a heart attack, then you should call 911.
No, they'll never get here in time.
For Christ's sake, you think I'm bullshitting you? I'm not.
I haven't been able to feel my left arm since 7:30.
That's when I called the first time, but you didn't pick up.
And it's getting worse, all right?
I'm having pain in my chest. I can't breathe.
I'm getting dizzy. Oh, Jesus. I am getting dizzy right now.
I'm spinning. I'm spinning. I'm spinning.
Oh, my God. I'm spinning. I'm spinning. I'm spinning. I'm spinning.
Jesus.
-Get in back. -What?
It's a pandemic. You're not even wearing a mask.
-Get in back. -Okay.
-That's a nice place. -Will you drive, please?
You took out a credit card in my name.
What?
I said you took out a credit card in my name.
-I have no idea what you're talking about. -They sent a collection agency after me.
Those things are all scams.
There was a charge at Chez Jay's in Santa Monica.
-A lot of people go to Jay's. -I don't go there, you go there.
So what? So they know where your dad likes to eat.
That's not hard to find out.
I could tell you where that guy's dad likes to eat.
You know, give me till tomorrow. I can get you that information.
You didn't tell them your social, did you?
All right, good night.
What? You're just gonna drop me off like some kind of cab driver?
Yeah, you needed a ride.
-Yeah. -So go.
You're not coming with me?
No. I'm not coming with you into a hospital right now.
Do you pay any attention to what's going on?
Okay. Well, if you're not going, I'm not going.
-You're definitely going. -Why? It's not gonna do any good.
-It will if you're having a heart attack. -Not necessarily.
Okay. So you weren't actually having a heart attack.
Oh, no. I think I was. I just don't think I am anymore.
What, is that a bad thing? Would you rather I be dying right now?
I mean, I had some troubling symptoms. They're subsiding, thank God.
So let's go get a drink.
-Get out. -Come on.
-Where you going? -I'm going home.
-What you gonna do there? -Go to sleep. It's 2:00 in the morning.
You go home right now, you won't be able to sleep anyway.
Come on. One nightcap.
-Bars are closed. -I know a place we can go. It's just a--
You know I'm sober, right? I've been sober since I was 13 years old.
Do you not remember that?
Okay, fine. Let's get coffee.
-Everything is closed, Dad. -Then we'll go to a fucking McDonald's.
I'm not going inside a McDonald's!
Would you just take one? I got it for you.
No, thanks.
Okay. Well, I'll just drink from one of them
in case you change your mind.
-I'm not gonna change my mind. -Okay.
Oh, shit. I think I might've drank from both of 'em now.
-I don't care. -All right.
So... how are you?
I'm fine. How are you?
Well, how do you want me to answer that?
Are you sincerely curious about how I am, or are you just placating me?
-What you up to these days? -Why do you wanna know?
I wanna know because I am sincerely curious about how you are.
I mean, you may not be curious about me but, you know, I'm old, I'm boring.
And you're young. You're supposed to have shit going on.
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you.
-Come on. You never-- -What do you want?
I don't want anything. I just wanna know about you.
I wanna hear about your life. You know, what's on your mind.
You know, you're my son. I wanna know everything.
Come on. I'll take anything. What did you do today?
You baking bread like everyone else?
I keep hearing everybody's baking bread during all this.
You know, everyone wants yeast and no one can get it.
You get all the yeast?
Nope. Just working.
-You're getting gigs? Like on Skype or-- -Not gigs. It's a job.
Oh, no, I know it's hard work when you do it for a living.
I'm a teacher.
Oh, right. Okay. Like what? Like private lessons?
I teach fifth grade. Van Nuys West Elementary.
Wait, you're-- you're teaching at a school?
Yep. I mean, now it's on Zoom, but yep.
-Don't you need credentials? -I got a teaching degree.
Jesus.
And, like, how's it all going?
I love it.
Well, that is great. Honestly, I'm so fucking proud of you.
Like, you just made my day. You just made my goddamn year.
You-- You found something you love doing and you're doing it.
What else is there? And you're teaching. You're helping kids.
I feel like a good person just being next to you.
I wanna call everyone I know right now and tell them my son's a teacher.
Okay.
Anyway, I think it's great what you're doing.
-I really do. -Well, thanks.
So what are you up to?
Me? Oh, you know.
I'm-- I've been reading a lot, as a matter of fact.
You know, just leaving the TV off, opening a book.
-You ever read Crime and Punishment? -No.
It's incredible. Like, very Russian.
It's about this guy who kills this old lady,
and not for money or anything.
He doesn't have any practical reason for killing her.
But the thing is, you understand why he did it.
He's losing his mind but, you know, you can relate because
-he doesn't have anybody to talk to-- -What are we doing?
What-- Well, I'm talking. We're getting to talk again.
-But we're not talking about anything. -Okay. What you wanna talk about?
You know what? Why don't we--
-I'll just turn back. -How's Beth?
-How are the kids? -They're fine.
-You know, I don't see them that often. -Well, more often than me.
I mean, I haven't even met the young one. Sara, that's her name, right?
-Yeah. -Well, I'm sure I don't need to tell you.
It causes me a lot of genuine pain
to have a granddaughter and not be allowed to see her.
Any idea what that's about? 'Cause frankly, I'm confused.
I mean, your sister's always overreacted to things,
but this is another order of magnitude.
I show up late a couple of times to the playground and all of a sudden--
It wasn't that you were late. You were high. And you dropped David.
-Excuse me. I was not high on that day. -I was there.
-I know you've seen me high. -You were 100% high that day.
-You're not listening. -What am I not listening to?
I was trying to save that other kid from falling.
I don't know if you remember, because you've obviously chosen
to make this a story about how I'm a fuck-up.
But there was another kid climbing up on that thing, whatever they call it,
and the parents were nowhere to be found. Probably on their phones or something.
And I was the only one around. And that kid started to fall, right?
And I managed to get one of my hands under him.
If I hadn't done that, that kid probably would've broken his neck.
And yes, I did have to take one of my hands off of David.
And yes, he did slip down onto the ground, you know, flat onto his back.
No injury at all, just scared him.
But apparently, the lesson is I'm some kind of menace.
It's not my decision.
Well, I appreciate your support.
Anyway, who cares about David? He's always been a little shit.
What's Sara like?
She's totally different than David. She's wonderful.
Praise the Lord.
So tell me about her.
-How old is she now? -She's five.
Oh, God.
She...
She likes really quiet sounds.
Like we'll... we'll just sit in the backyard together
if we ever get time alone,
and we just listen to, you know, the wind, or an owl or whatever.
And we tell each other what we hear.
And we try to talk in really quiet voices. Like we see who can whisper most quietly.
-And it's sort of this thing. -Well, sure.
-That's what we used to do. -What's what we used to do?
Who can whisper most quietly. That was one of our games.
-No, it wasn't. -Yes, it was.
-You kidding me? You don't remember? -No.
Well, you were very young. The same age as her.
She probably won't remember doing it with you either
-when she gets older. -I think she will.
You know, this is unfair. This is insanity.
I mean, you and me, absolutely, when you were a little boy,
we used to whisper back and forth.
-Whoever was quieter would win the game. -Sorry. I just don't remember that.
I don't know what to say.
I'm heartbroken.
You probably don't remember a lot of things we did together.
You remember the night I played the Troubadour?
You bring it up a lot.
No, not from me talking about it. You were there.
-Yeah, I know. I've seen the photo. -Not from the photo. Do you remember it?
Maybe. It's hard to tell. I was young.
Well, you really wanted to go. You remember that?
I was getting ready to walk out the door, and you really wanted to come with me.
And I said to Ruth, "I want my son to see me play the Troubadour."
And she said you were too young. You were already in bed. And I said...
"Okay, I'm not gonna argue about this.
This is the greatest night of my artistic life.
I'm not gonna sit here and have an argument."
So, I walked out the door. I got in the car.
I drove around the block so that she could hear me drive off.
I got out of the car. I walked back to the house.
I climbed in your bedroom window and I got you out.
And that's why you were in pajamas in that photo, 'cause I snuck you out.
Right? And we rode in the car together,
just you and me, over Coldwater Canyon into Hollywood.
You don't remember that?
-I might. -Come on, try.
It's hard to say. Yeah, I might remember it.
It was the greatest moment of my life. I'm not exaggerating. It really was.
Driving to the Troubadour with you riding shotgun.
That was the moment that I still cherish to this day because,
I mean, then, you know, the show itself-- It's not that it was disappointing.
It just wasn't anything to write home about, you know.
The place wasn't full. It was a Tuesday night.
The crowd was a bunch of, you know, trendy pricks,
all thought they were too badass rock and roll
to appreciate a set of proper songwriting.
I mean, unless you had a pair of fucking Marshall Stacks and a wah-wah pedal
and some stupid name like Slash or Puff,
or whatever all those Zeppelin-wannabe hair bands had, no one was interested.
And there you have the story of my godforsaken career.
But you...
You were having a blast.
You were right there on the side of the stage,
'cause there's no backstage at the Troubadour.
So I could see you, right?
And every time I got sick and tired of these jerk-offs in their leather pants
having their own conversations while I was trying to sing,
I'd look over, and I'd see you looking right back at me.
And it was so clear from the look on your face that...
that you were really listening to the music, right? And...
Like, do you remember that at least? You remember me singing?
Yeah.
Yeah, you do, right?
I mean, not to blow smoke up my own ass, but from the day you were born,
whenever I'd sing to you, you'd tune right into it.
I knew even before you could crawl you were gonna be a musician.
And I don't mean in the music business. I mean a--
You know, a real musician, an artist. You always felt it so deeply.
I used to just hold you and walk around the house singing to you.
That was the go-to move when you were a baby.
If you were upset, if you were crying, it was, "Hand the boy over to me,"
and after a couple of songs, you know, you'd calm down.
Then bedtime, I'd sing to you every night. Same song for years.
You remember that, right?
You remember the song?
-Moon river -Dad.
Dad, can you not?
Wider than a mile
I'm crossing you in style someday
Oh, dream maker, you heartbreaker
Wherever you're goin' I'm goin' your way
Two drifters
Off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbow's end
Waitin' 'round the bend
My huckleberry friend
Moon river and me
And then I'd say, "Good night. I love you."
And what would you say?
I should get home. I have work in the morning.
Yeah. Me too.
You too?
-Yeah. What, you surprised? -Yeah.
Well, a lot can happen in a year or two. I mean, what's it been, two years?
-Almost three. -Yeah, so...
-What are you doing? -What do you mean?
You said you have work. What are you doing?
Oh, yeah. I'm... back to sales, same old game.
You know, pounding the phones, cashing the checks.
It's a catastrophe.
-Are people buying things in a pandemic? -Supposedly some people are.
But even before all this craziness, the job had changed.
There's no more dignity in it.
The lead hates you before they even pick up the phone.
I mean, it-- it's unsustainable. I'm gonna get out of it.
-Uh-huh. -Yeah.
I'm just saving up, you know.
As soon as I can get together 20K, if I can get it on time, I got a path.
What?
You just happen to be trying to get together $20,000,
and then you have a fake heart attack and then you call me?
You asked me what I was doing. I didn't bring it up. You brought it up.
I'm pursuing an opportunity,
and I was telling you about it in the course of conversation
-because you asked. That's all. -Okay.
Come on. It's Chuck Ferguson. You know Chuck.
Come on, we spent that day on his houseboat in the marina.
-You remember that boat. -I actually think I do, yeah.
Yeah. So, Chuck's done really well over the last 20 years in mini storage.
People have all this shit they don't need.
They don't wanna throw it away. They gotta put it somewhere.
Chuck's in deals on a couple dozen of them.
Mostly central California,
but he's looking at a new one in Lancaster. He told me about it.
The management's no good, so he'll buy it, increase revenue.
Gets great returns. Plus, it's recession-proof.
They're actually doing great during all this because, you know,
when people start losing their houses,
they still need somewhere to put their shit.
Thing pays for itself in a couple of years.
I'd have to ask Chuck, but I could probably cut you in
-if you want. -See, there it is.
-No, look, I'm not trying to push the-- -Dad, I don't have $20,000.
-I don't have any dollars. -I didn't come to you for money.
Even if I did have money in the bank, which I don't,
I wouldn't give any to you, because we both know what you would do with it.
-That's not true. -I'm going home.
Hey, I said that's not-- You have no idea what my life is!
Hey!
Hey, don't walk away from me.
Look, I'm-- I'm not like I used to be. I'm not.
You're exactly the same as you've always been.
And I can't help you.
You know, you're just like me.
No. I spent my life trying not to be like you!
You hate yourself, just like me!
You can't stop thinking about all the things you should've done
and why you didn't do 'em.
Now it's too late.
And your brain goes round in circles, just like mine does.
The difference is, I don't blame anybody but myself.
And you blame me.
And that's nice, isn't it?
To have it be someone else's fault, not your own.
Yeah. Feels good.
Sort of like a drug.
Hey. Do you have somewhere to go?
Don't worry about me.
Josh! Hey, wake up. I'm not gonna let you miss this.
You can see it. Come on. Here we go.
I know, I know it's hard, but we can do it.
It's gonna be worth it. Didn't I tell you a meteor was coming?
I told you this is the end of everything.
There. See it? I don't want you to be scared.
It's not gonna hurt. It's gonna happen so fast.
It's gonna be the brightest fucking thing you've ever seen, then it's gonna be over.
But that's okay, because we got to see it. And I love you.
I love you both so much. I love you. I love you.