1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,916
‪NETFLIX 原创剧集

2
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:12,184
‪嘿

3
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:14,562
‪-今天早上发生了什么事？
‪-太多了

4
00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:17,229
‪我醒来 脚抽筋得厉害

5
00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:19,938
‪我只能一瘸一拐地下楼拿香蕉

6
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,400
‪然后踢伤了另一只脚的脚趾

7
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,823
‪我能出现在这儿就是个奇迹

8
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:28,492
‪有事吗？

9
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:31,277
‪我们9点要跟固特异轮胎公司开会

10
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:32,284
‪没人告诉我啊

11
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,325
‪我给你的日历发了一堆邀请

12
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:37,079
‪-我怎么不知道？
‪-你打开消息通知了吗？

13
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,082
‪当然 我打开通知了 就是…

14
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,424
‪现在开了

15
00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:49,628
‪那…

16
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:55,929
‪会开得怎样？

17
00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:01,137
‪因为你不在 所以改期了
‪我也给你发了邮件

18
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:03,976
‪收到了

19
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:07,649
‪那是谁？

20
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,534
‪弗兰克？那是贝丝的男朋友

21
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,241
‪真的吗？我还以为你们俩…

22
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:14,621
‪不…为什么…我和贝丝…不
‪我怎么可能那么做？

23
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:18,698
‪是啊 她能找到比你更好的
‪她也的确找到了

24
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,459
‪弗兰肯斯坦！

25
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,790
‪它活过来了！

26
00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,053
‪来抱一个 你这个丑八怪

27
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:29,665
‪你真好闻 喷的什么香水？

28
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:30,586
‪我只用肥皂

29
00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:32,933
‪-我喜欢 很酷
‪-谢谢

30
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:36,049
‪-你不是要去休斯顿吗？
‪-马上去机场

31
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,967
‪贝丝把手机充电器落在我家了

32
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:41,307
‪-嘿 亲爱的 对不起 我迟到了
‪-喂

33
00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:43,772
‪堵车太严重 谢谢你把我的午餐送来

34
00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:46,313
‪-到了之后记得给我发…
‪-你的午餐？

35
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,648
‪-等等 你刚才说…
‪-没有

36
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:51,443
‪-等一下 不 有人骗了我
‪-凯文 别

37
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:55,318
‪你说是你的午餐
‪他说是手机充电器 怎么回事？

38
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,827
‪哦 贝丝

39
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,710
‪你是宇航员？

40
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,668
‪我有睡眠呼吸暂停症

41
00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:10,761
‪-我一小时能死过去13次
‪-对 弄得我也精神紧张

42
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:13,679
‪急救电话刚打完前两个数字就要挂断

43
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:17,178
‪我不是禽兽

44
00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:20,766
‪我好几周没洗这个玩意了

45
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,365
{\an8}‪大家早上好

46
00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:41,999
{\an8}‪首先 我想恭喜整个团队
‪在波科诺比赛中的稳定发挥

47
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:44,618
{\an8}‪我们的排名提升到了26位

48
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:48,376
{\an8}‪好的 杰克 太棒了 谢谢大家

49
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,802
{\an8}‪顺带一提 阿米尔修好了电控单元
‪干得漂亮

50
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,460
{\an8}‪不然我们整个周末都废了

51
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:54,795
{\an8}‪我很抱歉

52
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,802
{\an8}‪她在表扬你 白痴

53
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:05,561
{\an8}‪如大家所知 我们上周不得不

54
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:08,443
{\an8}‪跟我们的老朋友大蹄烧烤分道扬镳

55
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:12,191
{\an8}‪-当然了 所有人都知道
‪-但还有好消息

56
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:15,195
{\an8}‪我们找到了更好的赞助商

57
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:18,775
{\an8}‪鲍比斯宾塞车队
‪将成为一个新产品的代言人

58
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:22,575
{\an8}‪我知道大家都非常好奇
‪现在我终于能揭晓…

59
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:23,620
{\an8}‪那是乌龟吗？

60
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:26,873
{\an8}‪对 就是乌龟

61
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,955
{\an8}‪看起来像乌龟 这形状一看就是

62
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:31,793
{\an8}‪请容我介绍…

63
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,956
{\an8}‪假牛排

64
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,680
{\an8}‪什么是假牛排？

65
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,512
{\an8}‪美国最新蘑菇类牛肉替代品

66
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,098
{\an8}‪狗爱吃这个？

67
00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:48,101
{\an8}‪这是给人吃的

68
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:51,396
{\an8}‪这是不可能汉堡的高端版本

69
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:54,481
{\an8}‪假牛排将开展全国宣传推广
‪更棒的是

70
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,987
‪他们想请我们的杰克马丁拍广告

71
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,361
‪好啊 杰克

72
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,657
‪-这是开玩笑的吧？
‪-希望如此

73
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,121
‪来吧 凯文 你愿意尝尝的吧？

74
00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:05,832
‪为什么 我做了什么？

75
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,828
‪凯文 来享用一口假牛排

76
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,456
‪-你在开玩笑吗？
‪-对

77
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,419
‪哇 闻起来像乌龟

78
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,351
‪你会喜欢的

79
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,390
‪这是我们新的引擎盖赞助商
‪你兴奋一点

80
00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:33,403
‪好吧

81
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:41,156
‪凯文 要不我拿个喷枪来
‪帮你把这一口冲下去

82
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:50,248
‪这个入口完全不会化

83
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:58,757
‪你必须自己决定

84
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,182
‪什么时候把它咽下去

85
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,716
‪嘿 你现在有空吗？

86
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,477
‪我不想聊假牛排的事

87
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:13,439
‪是啊 没人想聊
‪它吃起来像是在水洼里找到的创可贴

88
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,983
‪他们是赞助商 你必须让大家同意

89
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:22,364
‪我们喜欢大蹄烧烤
‪我们的标志都是公牛 好吗？

90
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,817
‪我们的粉丝名是“蹄踏”
‪现在该叫什么？

91
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:27,287
‪-叫 “一地蘑菇”吗？
‪-菜地

92
00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:29,785
‪好吧 你说出来不觉得可笑吗？

93
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:33,291
‪菜地？这哪是赛车队的名字
‪这是你为了让奶奶戒烟

94
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,004
‪给她粘上的尼古丁贴片

95
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:39,341
‪这名字或许不完美
‪但公司热情很高涨

96
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,422
‪是吗？我们团队可没什么热情

97
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:45,178
‪有一个大问题
‪杰克没办法代言这玩意儿

98
00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:48,561
‪那是你的问题
‪因为广告明天就要开拍了

99
00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:50,308
‪这可不好说

100
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:53,101
‪你加油 他必须参加 必须好好表现

101
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,016
‪要是做不到 我就找你算账

102
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,231
‪话还没说完呢

103
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:58,225
‪已经说完了

104
00:05:58,816 --> 00:05:59,816
‪现在才算完

105
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,531
‪卢 别瞪了 我跟你说过的

106
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:12,785
‪哇 瞧瞧你

107
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,963
‪你就像一只在玩激光笔的愤怒的猫

108
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,883
‪坐下吧 杰克 我想跟你聊聊

109
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:22,130
‪关于假牛排的事

110
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:26,085
‪看来那不是玩笑

111
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:29,347
‪大蹄有什么问题？他们的食物很好吃

112
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:32,230
‪我去哪一家都能免费用餐

113
00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:33,888
‪而且我可不止13岁

114
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,560
‪但那只有几家餐馆
‪这可是全国播放的广告

115
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:40,267
‪-所有人都会知道你是谁
‪-对啊 因为假肉而知道我

116
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:44,238
‪那是假肉中的凯迪拉克 MM豆
‪在被凯尔布许代言之前也不酷吧？

117
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,950
‪谁说的 MM豆一直很棒

118
00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:48,950
‪它们会在口中融化 捏在手中却不会
‪像魔法一样

119
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,236
‪这么说吧

120
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:54,624
‪我也不喜欢假牛排 完全受不了

121
00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:56,825
‪但你知道吗？我们能做到的

122
00:06:56,916 --> 00:07:00,916
‪我们只能尽力而为 再说了
‪你的俊脸上电视？

123
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:01,923
‪简直天作之合

124
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,880
‪-对 我的脸是很漂亮
‪-对吧？

125
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:08,143
‪我都害怕你被好莱坞的人挖走

126
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,719
‪好吧 接着说

127
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,724
‪我说完了 就刚才那些话

128
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:14,523
‪-那是全国广告？
‪-对

129
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,310
‪-他们会让我脱掉上衣吗？
‪-不会

130
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:20,186
‪好吧 我还是会拍的

131
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,736
‪你去哪儿了？他们马上就要开拍了

132
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:31,033
‪你把我的引擎盖掀开了？

133
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,737
‪我觉得这样在背景里好看些
‪所以跟导演提议了

134
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,208
‪他说：“行吧 无所谓” 就是这样

135
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,705
‪好 阿米尔 我这么告诉你吧

136
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:43,302
‪我就像不愿意分享私人秘方的厨师

137
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:46,299
‪因为有一些食材是违法的

138
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:52,637
‪好吧 要是我们被曝光 厨师会有麻烦

139
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:56,562
‪不会 因为厨师已经计划好了
‪把锅甩给服务生

140
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,860
‪嘿 我们把引擎盖合上拍吧

141
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:02,979
‪行吧 无所谓

142
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,436
‪没事了

143
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:08,820
‪我们先拍车子 然后再拍车手

144
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,815
‪-你在布置镜头？
‪-对

145
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,414
‪我猜也是 我以前也是干这行的

146
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,504
‪主要是选美比赛

147
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:18,708
‪1991年的梅克伦堡县小姐选美
‪怎么样？

148
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:22,377
‪好了 我们开始吧 明星进场了

149
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,170
‪谢谢你这么说 但我不是明星

150
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:26,803
‪我只是一个非常成功的顶尖运动员

151
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:29,011
‪而且愿意脱掉上衣

152
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:33,466
‪好的 今天的拍摄非常简单
‪站在车子前面

153
00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:36,774
‪咬一口假牛排
‪然后说：“盒子上写着假…”

154
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,099
‪“但吃起来是真牛排”

155
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,354
‪真好 我都起鸡皮疙瘩了

156
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,193
‪太棒了 杰克 但最后要笑一下 宝贝

157
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:44,612
‪不露八齿 何来头冠

158
00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:48,858
‪好了 都准备好了

159
00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:52,448
‪开拍 杰克

160
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,739
‪-这话一般是我来说的
‪-等他说了就开拍

161
00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:56,986
‪行 很好

162
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:57,908
‪开拍

163
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:04,963
‪不！

164
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:08,054
‪-卡！让我来
‪-对 卡

165
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:12,223
‪嘿 兄弟 你刚才…

166
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,262
‪太棒了 一点小建议

167
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:19,135
‪-试着别表现出憎恨的样子
‪-太难吃了

168
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,555
‪我知道 昨天吃了一口
‪我现在打嗝都有味儿

169
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:25,064
‪但你可以装一装 对吧？

170
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,147
‪就像是…

171
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,612
‪还记那次 贝丝试用有机除臭剂

172
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:31,033
‪然后我们都告诉她闻不出区别？

173
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,322
‪-对 就这么干
‪-嘿

174
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:35,905
‪是 你知道吗？
‪腋窝下糊一把蜂蜡是没用的

175
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:37,624
‪开始吧

176
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,789
‪-准备好了吗？
‪-好了

177
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:40,710
‪好的

178
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:43,288
‪-能让我喊吗？
‪-当然 你做得很好

179
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,214
‪谢谢你 开拍

180
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,707
{\an8}‪盒子上写着假 但…

181
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:51,257
‪必须卡掉 抱歉

182
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:54,590
‪-我还没演完
‪-但你在吃之前就哼了一声

183
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:57,427
‪-是你让我假装喜欢的
‪-对 但你还没吃进去呢

184
00:09:58,347 --> 00:09:59,767
‪你知道我尝过的

185
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:04,564
‪但是看广告的人不知道

186
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,318
‪-接得好
‪-行了 好

187
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,736
‪我们可以从头开始吗？来吧

188
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,528
‪-很好 开拍
‪-好的

189
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,830
‪不行 卡 不

190
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:21,041
‪你的“啊”好像在说它很清爽

191
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,830
‪-是的
‪-不 这又不是柠檬水 这是食物

192
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:25,422
‪这个…

193
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,964
‪这个更有感觉 就这样

194
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,094
‪-我明白了
‪-好了 摄像机不要停

195
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:32,171
‪-没停过 好的
‪-好

196
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:33,546
‪开拍

197
00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:37,757
{\an8}‪天哪

198
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,097
‪-那是什么鬼
‪-我不知道

199
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,433
‪你看起来像罗伯特德尼罗

200
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,099
‪我不知道

201
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,730
‪你看起来很犹豫 拜托 情绪要到位

202
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,686
‪你的摩托车会发出什么声音？

203
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:58,737
‪就这样 保持二档 继续 二档

204
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:01,488
‪他们开始生气了

205
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:05,077
‪-他们说什么了？
‪-“我们开始生气了”

206
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,832
‪开拍吧

207
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:12,171
{\an8}‪盒子上写着牛排 但吃起来是假的

208
00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:27,555
‪盒子上写着牛排 但吃起来是假的

209
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:29,272
‪还是错的

210
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:34,402
‪我觉得没关系 等剪辑好了就没事了

211
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:37,025
‪-我会不会看起来很蠢？
‪-你会很棒的

212
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,373
‪你知道演雷神的演员吗？
‪克里斯海姆斯沃斯？

213
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,278
‪知道

214
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,623
‪他其实是个侏儒

215
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:43,542
‪什么？

216
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,873
‪那是视觉错觉 让他离镜头近

217
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,746
‪其他人站得很远

218
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,423
‪-不可能！
‪-可神奇了

219
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:51,461
‪嘿

220
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,344
‪克里斯海姆斯沃斯是个侏儒

221
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:54,761
‪-谁说的？
‪-我说的

222
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,839
‪让杰克对他的广告自信一点

223
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:59,304
‪没错 他个子很小

224
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:03,805
‪-大家都在啊？
‪-别挑事 布莱尼

225
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,849
‪就是想介绍一下我兄弟 科尔卡斯特

226
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:07,943
‪你们一般只看得到他的后脑勺

227
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:09,728
‪因为他们总排在我后面

228
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,062
‪我知道 所以我才这么说

229
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,069
‪谢谢你的问候 瑞安布莱尼

230
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,859
‪我们能不能盯着你嘴唇下的东西
‪直到它变成一只蝴蝶？

231
00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:24,163
‪说得真好 兄弟

232
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,083
‪话说 这盒子里是什么

233
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,499
‪周边啊 真好

234
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:31,250
‪你们走之后送到的
‪这是假牛排的新周边

235
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,091
‪这是公羊吗？

236
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,299
‪这看起来像我没修剪的脚趾

237
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:40,127
‪像蘑菇和奶牛生的孩子 很丑的孩子

238
00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:44,054
‪我辛辛苦苦造的车
‪引擎盖上就只能印这个？

239
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:47,058
‪我知道很丑 但我们的工资
‪都是引擎盖赞助商发的

240
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,391
‪我可不要戴

241
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:52,270
‪做一个车手最重要的
‪不是往车上贴谁的商标

242
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:53,734
‪而是在赛道上驰骋

243
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,694
‪这才是你凌晨四点起床训练的原因

244
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,895
‪-我其实不爱早起
‪-行吧

245
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:01,907
‪重点是 你很有天赋

246
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:03,369
‪你有无限可能

247
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,909
‪你心无旁骛 只想着赢

248
00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,543
‪我很喜欢你这一点

249
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,830
‪别管其他事了 你可以的

250
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,834
‪好的 也许我可以

251
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,536
‪这不是《雷霆壮志》的台词吗？

252
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,546
‪对 这要是不管用的话
‪他会说《追梦赤子心》里的那段

253
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,379
‪把橄榄球替换成赛车

254
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:24,354
‪-请告诉我这是你们的新赞助商
‪-对 他们赞助了一大笔钱

255
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,005
‪要不是钱给得多 谁愿意戴这玩意

256
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,270
‪祝你好运

257
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:34,766
‪-我做不到
‪-你可以的 别听他们的

258
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,975
‪我和布莱尼到达终点的时候
‪观众会为谁欢呼？

259
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,527
‪辣蘑菇肉还是金钱狮？

260
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:43,821
‪金钱和狮子？这是最棒的两个东西

261
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,528
‪我选蘑菇肉

262
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:49,657
‪因为狮子会背叛你
‪不信去问齐格菲和罗伊

263
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:52,325
‪-他们那是老虎
‪-别帮倒忙

264
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:56,749
‪听着 每次比赛我都觉得自己会赢

265
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,916
‪我现在不这么想了

266
00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:01,924
‪那个凯瑟琳从来的第一天起
‪就开始针对我

267
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,054
‪她针对的是所有人

268
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:06,394
‪首先 让已经被录用的我们面试

269
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:09,770
‪然后不跟我们商量 就换了赞助商

270
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:14,399
‪我当过杯赛的年度新秀
‪我上过《体育画报》的封面

271
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,856
‪亲爱的 那是我们
‪在六旗游乐园给你做的

272
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,188
‪对 没错

273
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:25,570
‪听着 我一直都很信任你

274
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,866
‪如果你告诉我一定要这么做
‪我会做的

275
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,870
‪但你也当过车手 你懂的

276
00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:33,542
‪你能在自我怀疑的时候好好赛车吗？

277
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,080
‪不能

278
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,627
‪那我为什么要这么做？

279
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:43,259
‪如果你连自己都不信任
‪那我们是不可能赢的

280
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:47,468
‪所有人 把帽子摘下来放进盒子里

281
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,310
‪-查克 你喜欢烧东西对吧？
‪-当然了

282
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:51,389
‪把这些销毁掉

283
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:52,733
‪-没问题
‪-你要去哪儿？

284
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:55,228
‪我去解决这个问题
‪我要让大蹄烧烤回来 还有…

285
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:58,401
‪你知道吗？假牛排就是个笑话
‪品牌标志也丑爆了

286
00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,690
‪广告拍得一塌糊涂

287
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:02,943
‪-但你说过…
‪-骗你的 克里斯海姆斯沃斯一米九

288
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:08,574
‪昨天的拍摄怎么样？

289
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,873
‪惨不忍睹

290
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,789
‪但你冲进去挽回了局面

291
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:17,788
‪不 我就在车里 怎么冲进去

292
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:22,343
‪这件事的重要性我说得不够明白吗？

293
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:25,091
‪你说得很明白
‪所以我也要跟你说清楚

294
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,844
‪假牛排不能留

295
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,263
‪不

296
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,854
‪-我不是想推翻你的决定
‪-那我可松了口气

297
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,140
‪那并不是适合纳斯卡赛车的产品

298
00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:37,143
‪我知道你是好意
‪但我知道自己在做什么 好吗？

299
00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:40,557
‪我会给大蹄打电话 跟罗伯谈谈
‪尽量让他们重新赞助我们

300
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,318
‪哦 凯文

301
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:44,609
‪我已经跟你争累了

302
00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:47,243
‪我们已经上了假牛排的独木船
‪顺流而下了

303
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:50,871
‪你现在要么拿起桨划船 要么下船

304
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,950
‪好啊 桨上有没有那个愚蠢的标志？

305
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:53,945
‪有的

306
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:58,619
‪你猜怎么着？这城里还有别的独木船

307
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:01,707
‪-我说的独木船 是指别的车队
‪-我知道

308
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,254
‪是我先这么比喻的

309
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,383
‪再给你比喻一个 我弃船了

310
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:11,848
‪问题解决了吗？

311
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:15,096
‪某种意义上来说 解决了

312
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:16,272
‪那就是没有

313
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,520
‪我把事情弄得更糟了

314
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:22,609
‪你们想不想为更大更好的团队工作？

315
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:26,570
‪-你准备怎么做？
‪-我一直没告诉你们 但是…

316
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:30,356
‪知道吗？很多大车队一直都在招揽我

317
00:16:30,447 --> 00:16:31,367
‪很多年了

318
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:35,488
‪凯文 你就没瞒过 还经常拿出来炫耀

319
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:36,825
‪行吧

320
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:41,503
‪但是我以前总是拒绝他们
‪今天 我要答应了

321
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:45,383
‪因为如果我们无法
‪在自己建造的地方获得尊重

322
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:47,302
‪那就需要另寻去处了

323
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:50,761
‪-不好说 听起来很冒险
‪-我什么时候让你们失望过？

324
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:54,433
‪三分钟前 你还说要挽回赞助商
‪然后失败了

325
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,675
‪好吧 除了这个

326
00:16:57,766 --> 00:17:00,136
‪你还说过不会跟我妈妈约会

327
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:02,977
‪我们只是去了必胜客…我跟她没可能

328
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,654
‪我在杰克逊维尔被捕的那次呢？

329
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:08,363
‪我说的不是这种小事 好吗？

330
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,280
‪我在监狱里蹲了三天

331
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,873
‪我现在就出门
‪去给我们找一个更好的车队

332
00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:15,279
‪我现在就去找

333
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,042
‪我得了肝炎

334
00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:20,792
‪行吧…这也太疯狂了

335
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:27,956
‪-有什么事吗？
‪-对

336
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:32,721
‪让我缓一会儿 刚才爬了太多楼梯

337
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:35,886
‪我从来没生着气冲上来过

338
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:37,677
‪天哪

339
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,024
‪请你坐下

340
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:46,015
‪你知道凯文已经出去…抱歉

341
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,030
‪我还以为能找回刚才的情绪

342
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:51,315
‪我需要喝口水

343
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,242
‪抱歉 这我肯定捡不到

344
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:00,576
‪再来一瓶

345
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,370
‪看来你已经跟凯文聊过了

346
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,126
‪我不希望他离开

347
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:08,049
‪但他要走的话
‪还有很多好队长任我挑选

348
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,220
‪没有他那样的

349
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:17,392
‪你觉得他会一个人离开这里吗？

350
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,351
‪他要是找到工作 大家都会跟着走

351
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:22,731
‪不可能 凯文不可能在周日前
‪组织好一个团队

352
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:23,940
‪他不需要这么做

353
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:26,149
‪你这周末必须去印第安纳波利斯

354
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,190
‪除非你可以造台车自己开

355
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,283
‪不然那将会是这个车队
‪30年来第一次缺席

356
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,860
‪但大家不可能就这样辞职

357
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,276
‪他们可以

358
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:39,084
‪赶不上比赛的话
‪整个赛季的所有分数就都作废了

359
00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:40,949
‪你可能会失去比赛资格

360
00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:43,616
‪鲍比斯宾塞车队可能就此终结了

361
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:47,416
‪是吗？不会的 因为我有个计划

362
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,631
‪-什么计划？
‪-这是个秘密

363
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:52,005
‪但我的计划很棒

364
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:56,390
‪当我告诉你的时候 你会说：

365
00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:58,142
‪“哇”

366
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:03,393
‪失陪了 我得把我的计划付诸行动

367
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:07,145
‪我再坐一会儿
‪直到我听不见自己脉搏的声音

368
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:11,938
‪（哈斯车队）

369
00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:12,855
‪马克

370
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,323
‪-嘿 凯文 好久不见
‪-是啊

371
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,414
‪我正想去店里

372
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:20,489
‪买一些美味的史密斯菲尔德培根

373
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:23,116
‪我总是忘记史密斯菲尔德
‪是你的赞助商之一

374
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:25,119
‪世界真小

375
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:28,666
‪你来这儿 跟鲍比的退休有关吧？

376
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,380
‪不 没有

377
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:31,838
‪毫无关系

378
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,011
‪但鲍比的确要退休了

379
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:39,682
‪听说哈斯车队要组织第四个团队
‪需要一个队长

380
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:41,011
‪你知道我很喜欢…

381
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:44,386
‪而且我不是一个人 所有人都会过来

382
00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:45,394
‪我的整个团队

383
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:48,403
‪我希望你喜欢香槟的味道

384
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:51,188
‪因为你会在胜利车道上喝到很多香槟

385
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,479
‪我戒酒三年了

386
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:57,740
‪戒晚了点 没能挽救我的婚姻

387
00:19:57,821 --> 00:20:02,081
‪或者跟我孩子的关系
‪但是现在 感谢上帝

388
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,199
‪我已经进入戒酒12步骤项目了

389
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,252
‪阿门

390
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:11,706
‪凯文 你是很棒的队长 我很想雇用你

391
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,673
‪太好了 我明天就能上班
‪别继续说了 别毁掉这个时刻

392
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:16,799
‪你要是早来找我就好了

393
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:20,892
‪我可以告诉你我们的所有秘密
‪我们经常作弊 每周都作弊

394
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:23,925
‪听着 时代变了

395
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:28,104
‪我们都知道 现在那套更像电子游戏
‪而不是比赛

396
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,725
‪我们跟赞助商说要雇一个新队长

397
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:34,192
‪问他们的第一个问题就是
‪他拿的哪个学校的工程学位

398
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:36,654
‪你想让我为你的竞争对手工作吗？

399
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:37,855
‪你已经这么做了

400
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,567
‪我知道 我指另一个竞争对手

401
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:44,532
‪城里其他车队的说辞肯定也一样

402
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,538
‪我们这些人就像恐龙

403
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:50,710
‪你是说我们在食物链顶端？

404
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:53,381
‪巨大的牙齿 短短的手

405
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,710
‪一扫尾打翻一片人

406
00:20:58,590 --> 00:20:59,420
‪不

407
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:00,965
‪灭绝了

408
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:05,972
‪我的建议是 你用两只小短手
‪紧紧抓住你的工作

409
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,518
‪要是我松手了呢？

410
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:13,556
‪那你就犯错误了

411
00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:17,727
‪好吧 那就这样了

412
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,154
‪好吧

413
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,237
‪等等 凯文

414
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,827
‪我不能让你这样离开

415
00:21:25,909 --> 00:21:27,369
‪谢谢你 马克

416
00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:32,001
‪这是一张四斤半培根的优惠券

417
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,923
‪试试蜂蜜脆培根 好吃得离谱

418
00:21:42,342 --> 00:21:43,892
‪-你回来了
‪-对

419
00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:47,101
‪-今天可真刺激
‪-是啊

420
00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:49,808
‪嘿 我们能谈谈吗？

421
00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:52,391
‪听着 我欠你一个道歉

422
00:21:58,817 --> 00:21:59,937
‪没错

423
00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:06,244
‪我们都对车队充满热情
‪情绪激动了些

424
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:11,082
‪你的经验那么丰富
‪我却愚蠢地忽视了这点

425
00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:12,963
‪我不会再那么做了

426
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:17,290
‪好 你能说出这些话肯定不容易
‪但你也必须这么说

427
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:20,014
‪我接受你的道歉

428
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:23,219
‪我知道你去见其他车队老板了

429
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:27,764
‪-你应该也收到很多邀约
‪-对

430
00:22:29,931 --> 00:22:32,771
‪往水里滴血 鲨鱼就会游过来

431
00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:37,809
‪听着 换赞助商是一件大事

432
00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:40,278
‪我不应该对你和杰克搞突然袭击

433
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,859
‪这既是你团队 也是我的团队

434
00:22:43,945 --> 00:22:46,065
‪也不完全一样 这是我的团队

435
00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:49,446
‪所以我的名字签在支票前面
‪而你的在后面 但这是你的团队

436
00:22:49,951 --> 00:22:52,791
‪很好 我去给大蹄打电话 让他们…

437
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:54,581
‪这真的不是你的团队

438
00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:59,344
‪听着 大蹄是过去式 我们签了新合约
‪那个老板是我朋友

439
00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:02,049
‪所以 要是你无法接受假牛排
‪必须离开的话…

440
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,630
‪等等 首先

441
00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:06,262
‪你怎么突然说我无法接受？

442
00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:08,433
‪那个…我不是完全不能接受

443
00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:09,722
‪是吗？我没觉得

444
00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:11,805
‪-我也没有
‪-没有谁不能接受

445
00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:14,100
‪-我完全同意
‪-好的

446
00:23:18,021 --> 00:23:20,071
‪但是能不能退一步

447
00:23:20,565 --> 00:23:23,985
‪让杰克不用为新产品抛头露面

448
00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:26,069
‪是吗？抱歉 他必须接受

449
00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:33,334
‪好吧

450
00:23:34,871 --> 00:23:36,831
‪他可以出面 但不用穿那件衣服

451
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:38,955
‪-他必须穿那件衣服
‪-我不介意

452
00:23:39,042 --> 00:23:40,342
‪我不介意 你知道的

453
00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:42,796
‪我觉得他也不会介意的

454
00:23:42,879 --> 00:23:45,799
‪但是他不用吃假牛排
‪这一点我立场坚定

455
00:23:45,882 --> 00:23:48,182
‪他必须吃 这一点是必须的

456
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,850
‪我也觉得 我没立场了

457
00:23:55,308 --> 00:23:57,098
‪那就说好了 对吧？

458
00:23:57,185 --> 00:24:00,805
‪谈判就是这样的
‪双方多少都会有些肉疼

459
00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:03,607
‪我觉得挺好的 那要握握手吗？

460
00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:05,822
‪你想一抱泯恩仇？双枪离场？

461
00:24:05,902 --> 00:24:08,032
‪你可以走了 把门带上

462
00:24:08,113 --> 00:24:11,323
‪好吧 我…那我把它们收回枪套…

463
00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:18,620
‪如果需要进另一个车队的话
‪我已经物色好了

464
00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:21,497
‪但我是这么想的 有一点不一样

465
00:24:21,585 --> 00:24:24,665
‪我们可以继续留在鲍比斯宾塞车队

466
00:24:24,754 --> 00:24:26,884
‪卖假牛排？这也是一种方式

467
00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:28,625
‪人家没录用你吧？

468
00:24:28,717 --> 00:24:32,097
‪记得兰迪约翰逊的投球击中了一只鸟
‪然后它爆炸了吗？

469
00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:33,179
‪是啊

470
00:24:33,263 --> 00:24:34,263
‪我就是那只鸟

471
00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:40,516
‪我调查了一下假牛排
‪这个产品很重要的

472
00:24:40,604 --> 00:24:42,614
‪-真的吗？
‪-得了吧

473
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:46,487
‪告诉你们 植物蛋白才是未来主流

474
00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:49,648
‪大猩猩都只吃蔬菜 我以前都不知道

475
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:51,988
‪它们是地球上最强壮的动物

476
00:24:52,699 --> 00:24:55,739
‪大猩猩可可
‪知道他学会的第一个手势是什么吗？

477
00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:57,077
‪-是她
‪-行吧

478
00:24:59,539 --> 00:25:03,419
‪他打的第一个手势
‪他明明可以选其他任何词

479
00:25:03,502 --> 00:25:05,752
‪你知道他比划的什么吗？蘑菇

480
00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:07,837
‪好吧 不 凯文…这肯定不是真的

481
00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:09,973
‪真的 我看的一部纪录片上这么说的

482
00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:10,880
‪-真的？
‪-对

483
00:25:10,967 --> 00:25:13,427
‪是摩根弗里曼解说的
‪所以肯定是真的

484
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:14,802
‪-我相信他
‪-不 等等

485
00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:17,345
‪实际上 可可说的第一个词是爱

486
00:25:17,432 --> 00:25:18,852
‪那蘑菇就是第二个词

487
00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:21,944
‪-这不重要 不…
‪-不 凯文 第二个词是朋友

488
00:25:22,437 --> 00:25:24,437
‪我告诉你第三个词是什么 好吗？

489
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:28,570
‪-这看起来挺像蘑菇的
‪-像蘑菇 但实际上是小拳拳

490
00:25:28,652 --> 00:25:31,492
‪反正 我的重点是

491
00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:35,367
‪接纳健康的生活方式也没什么坏处

492
00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:37,830
‪我们可以开始吃更健康的食物
‪同意吗？

493
00:25:37,911 --> 00:25:38,751
‪-好
‪-当然

494
00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:41,328
‪-好吧
‪-好了！想吃点什么？

495
00:25:41,414 --> 00:25:42,964
‪给我来一个肉酱三明治

496
00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:44,788
‪-手撕猪肉
‪-炸鸡

497
00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:47,046
‪-肉饼
‪-你们还不限量供应肉丸吗？

498
00:25:47,128 --> 00:25:49,418
‪-有的
‪-先给我们上几桶开开胃

499
00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:51,263
‪看 我的广告！

500
00:25:58,473 --> 00:26:02,143
‪盒子上写着假 但吃起来是真牛排

501
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:04,147
‪对吧 纳斯卡赛车巨星 杰克马丁？

502
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:05,359
‪对

503
00:26:05,438 --> 00:26:06,648
{\an8}‪（假牛排）

504
00:26:10,193 --> 00:26:11,033
‪哇

505
00:26:13,363 --> 00:26:14,413
‪别难过 兄弟

506
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,784
‪我真是帅呆了

507
00:27:14,924 --> 00:27:17,684
‪字幕翻译：Zeo Niu