1 00:01:12,283 --> 00:01:17,923 Raulhac, Cantal. September 1st, 1905. 2 00:02:35,153 --> 00:02:36,723 I killed François Raulhac. 3 00:02:38,153 --> 00:02:40,193 And I'm here to give myself up. 4 00:03:18,123 --> 00:03:19,283 Reidal! 5 00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:21,473 Follow me. 6 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:33,123 I want the hands stiff. Motionless. 7 00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:35,003 Lean on the chair. 8 00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:42,563 The photo will be blurry. You'll need to help him. 9 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:47,033 Bruno Reidal is presently a young man of 17, 10 00:03:47,753 --> 00:03:52,683 5 feet 3 inches tall and weighing 7 stone 12 pounds. 11 00:03:54,123 --> 00:03:55,283 Inhale. 12 00:03:57,593 --> 00:03:58,683 Slowly. 13 00:04:00,123 --> 00:04:01,123 Close your eyes. 14 00:04:09,033 --> 00:04:11,123 His overall appearance is delicate. 15 00:04:11,523 --> 00:04:13,073 The build is weak, 16 00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:14,633 the chest narrow, 17 00:04:14,723 --> 00:04:16,363 the muscles small, 18 00:04:16,443 --> 00:04:18,483 and the body generally lean and scrawny. 19 00:04:23,273 --> 00:04:24,243 That should do. 20 00:04:37,563 --> 00:04:38,713 Look at the lens. 21 00:04:41,393 --> 00:04:43,393 His gentle and worried expression 22 00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:46,393 gives his physiognomy a certain melancholy. 23 00:04:49,953 --> 00:04:53,393 To everyone he seems taciturn or shifty. 24 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,713 The facial expressions lack spontaneity, 25 00:05:00,313 --> 00:05:01,953 one might even say candour , 26 00:05:02,043 --> 00:05:04,393 if he hadn't been the first to inform us 27 00:05:04,483 --> 00:05:07,873 of his former habit of controlling and hiding his emotions. 28 00:05:10,713 --> 00:05:14,923 "It is when I am tormented by my thoughts of murder," he tells us, 29 00:05:15,713 --> 00:05:17,953 "that I am calmest and quietest." 30 00:05:22,873 --> 00:05:25,073 You know why we are here, don't you? 31 00:05:28,803 --> 00:05:31,313 You want to know whether I'm sick or not. 32 00:05:33,243 --> 00:05:34,833 What is your opinion of the matter? 33 00:05:38,123 --> 00:05:39,363 I am not crazy. 34 00:05:41,593 --> 00:05:42,873 I don't want to be. 35 00:05:45,193 --> 00:05:47,163 My classmates who call me crazy, 36 00:05:48,273 --> 00:05:50,393 I could no longer tell them otherwise. 37 00:05:53,003 --> 00:05:55,393 There is something I can't quite grasp. 38 00:05:55,483 --> 00:05:59,603 During the first investigation, the experts' report was very clear. 39 00:05:59,683 --> 00:06:00,753 I'll read it again. 40 00:06:06,443 --> 00:06:07,923 "Bruno Reidal is abnormal 41 00:06:08,003 --> 00:06:11,043 with regard to satisfying the sexual instinct. 42 00:06:11,123 --> 00:06:13,003 "A bloodthirsty sadist, 43 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,953 "but sadism implies neither irresponsibility 44 00:06:16,393 --> 00:06:17,713 nor madness." 45 00:06:21,633 --> 00:06:23,803 So why challenge that report 46 00:06:23,873 --> 00:06:25,953 since it affirms you are not mad? 47 00:06:28,683 --> 00:06:30,923 They misrepresented what I said. 48 00:06:33,073 --> 00:06:35,803 They made me sound like a hardened criminal. 49 00:06:39,123 --> 00:06:40,633 If I understand properly, 50 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,513 you don't want to be considered 51 00:06:43,593 --> 00:06:44,633 either insane 52 00:06:45,563 --> 00:06:48,163 or criminal. Is that so? 53 00:06:50,713 --> 00:06:53,193 Yet you're not here for no reason, are you? 54 00:06:53,803 --> 00:06:54,803 You did kill 55 00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:57,073 an innocent child. 56 00:06:58,443 --> 00:07:00,193 By cutting off his head. 57 00:07:01,563 --> 00:07:03,043 Have you nothing to say? 58 00:07:06,483 --> 00:07:07,393 Bruno, 59 00:07:08,393 --> 00:07:09,393 look at me. 60 00:07:13,363 --> 00:07:16,313 We've been told you were an excellent student 61 00:07:16,873 --> 00:07:18,923 and a very hard worker. 62 00:07:20,043 --> 00:07:22,683 I'd like you to do a job for me. 63 00:07:23,953 --> 00:07:28,123 A job I sometimes ask of those who seem sincere, honest, and intelligent. 64 00:07:29,393 --> 00:07:33,833 I'd like you to write your life story. Your memoirs, so to speak. 65 00:07:34,953 --> 00:07:38,513 If you could express in your own words what is in your head, 66 00:07:39,163 --> 00:07:41,483 that would help us understand you. 67 00:07:44,593 --> 00:07:46,363 What should I write? 68 00:07:47,563 --> 00:07:48,633 Everything. 69 00:07:49,683 --> 00:07:51,873 You'll have to tell us the whole truth. 70 00:07:53,243 --> 00:07:55,363 We are not your judges, we must know everything. 71 00:08:41,403 --> 00:08:45,713 Information about my family 72 00:08:57,803 --> 00:09:00,953 I was born in Raulhac, in the Cantal, 73 00:09:01,763 --> 00:09:03,803 on June 12, 1888. 74 00:09:06,473 --> 00:09:09,073 I remember that during my early years 75 00:09:09,163 --> 00:09:11,683 I lived with my parents, my grandparents, 76 00:09:12,193 --> 00:09:13,953 and my brothers and sisters. 77 00:09:35,163 --> 00:09:38,193 My parents married in 1871. 78 00:09:39,563 --> 00:09:43,313 My father was 32 then, and my mother 25. 79 00:09:59,763 --> 00:10:02,163 Six children were born to that marriage, 80 00:10:03,193 --> 00:10:04,283 all living. 81 00:10:29,353 --> 00:10:31,683 Marie, the eldest, 82 00:10:32,473 --> 00:10:34,073 is now 34. 83 00:10:35,233 --> 00:10:36,593 She has had four children. 84 00:10:37,953 --> 00:10:42,113 The first one died in Raulhac, at our home, at the age of a few months. 85 00:10:47,073 --> 00:10:49,043 Second child, Antoine: 86 00:10:49,593 --> 00:10:51,803 lives in Paris and runs a restaurant. 87 00:10:54,283 --> 00:10:57,763 In 1900 he had thoughts of suicide and persecution. 88 00:11:06,193 --> 00:11:07,803 You may be seated. 89 00:11:14,043 --> 00:11:15,043 The Lord Jesus 90 00:11:15,563 --> 00:11:19,073 showed us God's love 91 00:11:19,163 --> 00:11:21,073 for children and infants. 92 00:11:21,763 --> 00:11:24,313 Forbid them not to come unto me... 93 00:11:24,403 --> 00:11:27,043 Third child: Joseph. 94 00:11:28,523 --> 00:11:31,443 Currently a soldier in a line infantry. 95 00:11:32,163 --> 00:11:35,043 He would punch his classmates and beat animals. 96 00:11:45,193 --> 00:11:46,683 Eugénie, 23. 97 00:11:48,993 --> 00:11:51,883 She is unmarried and still lives with my mother in Raulhac. 98 00:11:53,073 --> 00:11:54,233 She was anaemic. 99 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,713 She has had nervous episodes and serious illnesses. 100 00:12:00,563 --> 00:12:03,563 The youngest, Jules, is 13. 101 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:05,833 Cheeky and sly, 102 00:12:06,443 --> 00:12:08,953 for him, every means to success is good. 103 00:12:19,473 --> 00:12:21,833 My mother, Marie Ramond, 104 00:12:21,923 --> 00:12:24,193 born August 15, 1846, 105 00:12:24,763 --> 00:12:27,953 was in her youth apparently strong-tempered. 106 00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:33,953 She is quick to anger, very touchy and sensitive. 107 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:36,803 Give me your knife. 108 00:12:38,643 --> 00:12:39,563 Look. 109 00:12:39,953 --> 00:12:41,473 You think we can peel so thick? 110 00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:43,923 She would beat us violently. 111 00:12:45,563 --> 00:12:48,113 Rarely did she stroke or kiss us. 112 00:13:02,043 --> 00:13:04,763 "You will do exactly" she would tell us, 113 00:13:05,233 --> 00:13:07,443 "what you say you don't want to do. 114 00:13:08,313 --> 00:13:10,833 "I learned early on to work and to suffer. 115 00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:12,833 It will be the same for you." 116 00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:30,563 Put it in the shade. 117 00:13:33,353 --> 00:13:37,193 My father Jean-Marie, born in 1839, 118 00:13:37,923 --> 00:13:41,163 was a man of medium build with a full beard. 119 00:13:46,953 --> 00:13:49,193 Watch. Later, you'll do it yourself. 120 00:13:52,113 --> 00:13:53,163 You're watching? 121 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:56,113 He was intelligent and had some schooling. 122 00:13:57,833 --> 00:14:01,043 He had the reputation of a very good man and a fine peasant. 123 00:14:01,113 --> 00:14:02,043 I cut off the knots. 124 00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:05,593 So it's smooth. 125 00:14:07,443 --> 00:14:10,113 And to finish, you make a little cove. 126 00:14:11,233 --> 00:14:12,353 It's more comfortable. 127 00:14:15,043 --> 00:14:16,523 He would go to the inn. 128 00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,683 At home he often drank brandy. 129 00:14:25,163 --> 00:14:26,283 Here, it's yours. 130 00:14:29,043 --> 00:14:30,073 Go and try it. 131 00:14:30,163 --> 00:14:32,593 I don't know what illnesses he had, 132 00:14:32,683 --> 00:14:34,233 or what illness he died of. 133 00:14:39,883 --> 00:14:42,683 He'd thrash us, but less violently than our mother. 134 00:14:44,193 --> 00:14:45,473 - You like it? - Yes. 135 00:14:46,993 --> 00:14:47,923 Good. 136 00:14:48,283 --> 00:14:49,283 He was gentler, 137 00:14:49,713 --> 00:14:51,993 and more loved by my siblings and me. 138 00:15:14,073 --> 00:15:14,993 One day, 139 00:15:16,113 --> 00:15:19,043 in very fine weather with a hot sun for the season, 140 00:15:19,593 --> 00:15:21,953 I went to guard our cows in a field. 141 00:15:34,763 --> 00:15:36,593 I had no cap with me 142 00:15:36,683 --> 00:15:39,353 and I was bare-headed for quite a while. 143 00:16:19,683 --> 00:16:21,073 After that sunstroke, 144 00:16:22,113 --> 00:16:24,163 I was bedridden for a fortnight. 145 00:16:27,313 --> 00:16:29,073 I don't know if I was delirious. 146 00:16:30,353 --> 00:16:32,563 But I certainly was so ill 147 00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:33,763 Any pain? 148 00:16:33,833 --> 00:16:35,923 That my parents feared I would die. 149 00:16:53,883 --> 00:16:57,113 It is certain that it was not a result of that illness 150 00:16:57,193 --> 00:16:59,403 that I had my first thoughts of murder. 151 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,403 I'd already had them the winter before. 152 00:17:14,473 --> 00:17:15,403 Our family, 153 00:17:16,123 --> 00:17:18,363 like all of our neighbours, 154 00:17:19,643 --> 00:17:21,233 killed a pig every year. 155 00:17:42,993 --> 00:17:44,843 He'll calm down. 156 00:18:08,473 --> 00:18:10,233 I was glad to see a pig killed. 157 00:18:11,033 --> 00:18:13,793 Not to see it bleed, because when we bled it, 158 00:18:14,123 --> 00:18:15,923 I'd run away when I heard it squeal. 159 00:18:16,843 --> 00:18:19,193 I was glad because after bleeding it, 160 00:18:19,993 --> 00:18:20,953 we'd burn it, 161 00:18:21,513 --> 00:18:22,443 butcher it, 162 00:18:23,193 --> 00:18:25,553 make sausages, and even have a party. 163 00:18:44,443 --> 00:18:45,953 To the pig's health! 164 00:18:48,603 --> 00:18:49,923 He was one good pig. 165 00:18:51,233 --> 00:18:52,713 And fat, too. 166 00:18:53,603 --> 00:18:55,553 We killed the pig by bleeding it, 167 00:18:56,883 --> 00:18:58,883 and in my child's imagination, 168 00:18:59,603 --> 00:19:00,843 killing meant bleeding. 169 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,603 Then one day, 170 00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:08,643 I heard my parents say someone had killed a man. 171 00:19:10,553 --> 00:19:11,953 And I thought to myself: 172 00:19:13,273 --> 00:19:14,603 are men killed too? 173 00:19:16,513 --> 00:19:17,553 Like pigs? 174 00:19:33,403 --> 00:19:34,323 At night, 175 00:19:35,033 --> 00:19:35,953 in bed, 176 00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:38,753 before going to sleep, 177 00:19:40,473 --> 00:19:43,923 I pictured myself hurting the boys my age 178 00:19:45,033 --> 00:19:47,323 with whom I often found myself. 179 00:19:50,713 --> 00:19:53,923 I thought I'd take great pleasure in striking them with a knife. 180 00:19:54,843 --> 00:19:56,883 Not with the aim of killing them: 181 00:19:57,273 --> 00:19:59,083 whether they died was irrelevant. 182 00:20:00,993 --> 00:20:03,473 But I thought I would enjoy torturing them. 183 00:20:03,553 --> 00:20:05,403 Average, as is your wont. 184 00:20:05,843 --> 00:20:07,753 I fear you will linger there forever. 185 00:20:12,233 --> 00:20:14,603 In second place our dear shaker, Reidal. 186 00:20:15,403 --> 00:20:16,323 9 out of 10. 187 00:20:17,843 --> 00:20:19,923 - Can you read that for me? - 11. 188 00:20:19,993 --> 00:20:20,993 I couldn't. 189 00:20:21,083 --> 00:20:23,443 With better penmanship you could be first. 190 00:20:24,163 --> 00:20:25,683 Improve that, it's illegible. 191 00:20:27,473 --> 00:20:28,403 First: 192 00:20:28,713 --> 00:20:30,923 Deslauriers Emile. 10 out of 10. 193 00:20:31,403 --> 00:20:32,363 Keep it up. 194 00:20:39,193 --> 00:20:40,953 We will now do a dictation. 195 00:20:50,953 --> 00:20:52,993 - Can I play? - There's enough of us. 196 00:21:19,513 --> 00:21:20,603 When I was ten, 197 00:21:21,683 --> 00:21:23,643 I lost my beloved father. 198 00:21:30,793 --> 00:21:31,713 For a long time, 199 00:21:32,683 --> 00:21:34,083 even while dreaming at night, 200 00:21:35,033 --> 00:21:37,033 even now after seven years, 201 00:21:37,883 --> 00:21:39,163 I cry when I remember 202 00:21:39,233 --> 00:21:42,953 my mother leading us to his deathbed, 203 00:21:43,953 --> 00:21:44,883 telling us: 204 00:21:46,233 --> 00:21:47,993 "Kiss him, poor children, 205 00:21:49,363 --> 00:21:51,033 it will be the last time." 206 00:23:00,083 --> 00:23:01,603 Dammit Bruno, what are you doing? 207 00:23:01,953 --> 00:23:03,553 Hurry it up! 208 00:23:21,553 --> 00:23:23,163 Tomorrow at dawn, 209 00:23:23,233 --> 00:23:25,603 when the countryside whitens, I will set out. 210 00:23:26,473 --> 00:23:28,363 You see, I know that you wait for me. 211 00:23:28,993 --> 00:23:31,923 I will go by the forest, I will go by the mountain. 212 00:23:31,993 --> 00:23:34,323 I can no longer remain far from you... 213 00:23:39,753 --> 00:23:41,403 I remember that one day, 214 00:23:42,473 --> 00:23:43,643 in primary school, 215 00:23:45,323 --> 00:23:48,083 I felt the desire to kill more keenly. 216 00:23:56,643 --> 00:23:59,233 One of my schoolmates stood up, 217 00:23:59,323 --> 00:24:00,923 and I had him in front of me. 218 00:24:02,193 --> 00:24:03,793 Very good, Emile. Sit down. 219 00:24:13,513 --> 00:24:17,513 My desire to kill him made itself felt so strongly 220 00:24:17,603 --> 00:24:19,643 that I thought, sooner or later, 221 00:24:20,683 --> 00:24:22,473 this need to kill 222 00:24:23,403 --> 00:24:26,033 which should bring me such great pleasure 223 00:24:26,123 --> 00:24:27,443 would have to be satisfied. 224 00:24:28,553 --> 00:24:30,363 And I thought as I looked at him: 225 00:24:31,993 --> 00:24:33,683 "You shall not grow old." 226 00:24:51,923 --> 00:24:52,843 Your turn, Louis. 227 00:24:53,443 --> 00:24:56,363 Here, you hit it, you get to keep it. 228 00:24:57,233 --> 00:24:58,363 Your turn, Pierre. 229 00:25:04,193 --> 00:25:05,193 You're cheating... 230 00:25:11,713 --> 00:25:12,923 You're hurting me. 231 00:25:14,793 --> 00:25:16,363 Stop or we'll tell. 232 00:25:45,753 --> 00:25:47,643 Have you ever tortured an animal? 233 00:25:53,643 --> 00:25:54,553 I don't think so. 234 00:25:59,273 --> 00:26:00,603 Oh yes, once. 235 00:26:02,793 --> 00:26:05,193 I stepped on a lamb in a sheepfold. 236 00:26:05,923 --> 00:26:07,513 - Did you kill it? - No. 237 00:26:08,363 --> 00:26:10,843 - Did you get pleasure from it? - No. 238 00:26:12,923 --> 00:26:15,403 I tend to feel sorry for the poor beasts. 239 00:26:30,883 --> 00:26:31,793 Bruno, 240 00:26:32,993 --> 00:26:34,993 have you ever wanted to kill a girl? 241 00:26:38,953 --> 00:26:39,883 No. 242 00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:44,123 It started in school, 243 00:26:44,643 --> 00:26:47,473 it was some of my schoolmates that I wanted to kill. 244 00:26:48,793 --> 00:26:50,643 So from age 6 or 7? 245 00:26:51,473 --> 00:26:52,403 From age 6. 246 00:26:56,273 --> 00:26:57,193 Bruno, 247 00:26:57,643 --> 00:26:59,713 are you attracted to girls or boys? 248 00:27:06,753 --> 00:27:07,683 I don't know. 249 00:27:08,643 --> 00:27:11,603 Do you remember at what age you started masturbating? 250 00:27:15,193 --> 00:27:17,083 I'd rather write it down for you. 251 00:27:38,553 --> 00:27:39,473 Hey, kid. 252 00:27:40,793 --> 00:27:41,713 Got any wine? 253 00:27:44,323 --> 00:27:45,993 - I have milk. - What? 254 00:27:46,443 --> 00:27:47,363 I have milk. 255 00:27:49,273 --> 00:27:50,193 Ok, gimme some. 256 00:28:23,993 --> 00:28:25,123 You're all alone here. 257 00:28:27,403 --> 00:28:28,553 No, I was hired out. 258 00:28:31,603 --> 00:28:32,643 Hired out to who? 259 00:28:35,273 --> 00:28:36,193 The Lacombes. 260 00:28:40,443 --> 00:28:41,403 The Lacombes... 261 00:28:43,193 --> 00:28:44,193 Do you know them? 262 00:28:51,273 --> 00:28:52,713 You're not from around here. 263 00:28:54,273 --> 00:28:55,643 Where are you from? 264 00:28:57,323 --> 00:28:58,233 From Raulhac. 265 00:29:00,403 --> 00:29:01,363 What's your name? 266 00:29:02,793 --> 00:29:03,713 Reidal. 267 00:29:04,713 --> 00:29:05,683 Reidal what? 268 00:29:06,323 --> 00:29:07,233 Reidal Bruno. 269 00:29:08,403 --> 00:29:09,323 One day, 270 00:29:09,753 --> 00:29:11,123 I met a shepherd, 271 00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:13,993 and he forced me to the ground 272 00:29:14,083 --> 00:29:16,473 and against my will started masturbating me. 273 00:29:27,473 --> 00:29:28,403 Hot, isn't it? 274 00:29:32,953 --> 00:29:34,323 - Lie down. - I have to go, sir. 275 00:29:35,713 --> 00:29:37,993 - I told you to lie down. - Stop it, sir... 276 00:29:38,473 --> 00:29:39,473 Stop. 277 00:29:43,953 --> 00:29:44,953 Leave me alone. 278 00:29:45,473 --> 00:29:46,473 Stop moving. 279 00:29:46,883 --> 00:29:48,883 Sir, please stop, you're hurting me. 280 00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:51,233 Stop squirming or I'll really hurt you. 281 00:29:56,403 --> 00:29:58,793 Let's see if you're a good mountain shepherd. 282 00:30:01,553 --> 00:30:02,473 There you go. 283 00:30:04,233 --> 00:30:05,163 Sir... 284 00:30:08,233 --> 00:30:09,403 Stop struggling! 285 00:30:12,033 --> 00:30:12,953 That's good. 286 00:30:14,843 --> 00:30:15,923 That's good... 287 00:30:15,993 --> 00:30:16,923 Sir... 288 00:30:31,793 --> 00:30:32,953 After a while 289 00:30:33,793 --> 00:30:36,403 I stopped struggling and I reached orgasm. 290 00:30:54,123 --> 00:30:56,473 Henceforth I knew how to masturbate. 291 00:31:20,323 --> 00:31:22,713 Here you are already! 292 00:31:23,683 --> 00:31:25,323 What a mess he is! 293 00:31:26,513 --> 00:31:28,083 Go change your clothes! 294 00:31:37,993 --> 00:31:38,923 At first 295 00:31:40,123 --> 00:31:43,123 I masturbated rarely, if ever. 296 00:31:45,083 --> 00:31:46,713 I wasn't able to ejaculate, 297 00:31:47,843 --> 00:31:50,643 and had great difficulty achieving orgasm. 298 00:32:52,513 --> 00:32:53,443 One day, 299 00:32:54,363 --> 00:32:57,033 while I was masturbating and couldn't orgasm, 300 00:32:58,193 --> 00:33:00,713 the thought of murder came to me by chance. 301 00:33:23,883 --> 00:33:25,363 During the following months, 302 00:33:27,193 --> 00:33:28,403 I masturbated often, 303 00:33:29,713 --> 00:33:30,923 several times a day, 304 00:33:31,753 --> 00:33:34,843 imagining myself killing one or another of my classmates. 305 00:33:38,753 --> 00:33:41,163 If I felt pleasure coming, I would stop. 306 00:33:43,473 --> 00:33:46,553 Then start again imagining another classmate. 307 00:33:47,753 --> 00:33:50,883 And I would make the pleasure last from five to ten minutes. 308 00:33:57,473 --> 00:33:59,553 To be tempted to kill a person, 309 00:34:00,473 --> 00:34:03,923 he had to meet several conditions that I will try to list. 310 00:34:05,883 --> 00:34:06,793 First, 311 00:34:07,123 --> 00:34:08,513 I had to know him, 312 00:34:09,403 --> 00:34:11,553 to have spent some time with him. 313 00:34:13,283 --> 00:34:15,553 He had to have a pleasant physiognomy, 314 00:34:16,283 --> 00:34:17,923 considerable intelligence, 315 00:34:18,953 --> 00:34:22,403 and a certain pride in his gait, behaviour, and gestures. 316 00:34:26,953 --> 00:34:29,593 And then I killed him, but as if regretfully, 317 00:34:30,113 --> 00:34:32,843 because I loved him but could not do otherwise. 318 00:34:41,843 --> 00:34:43,203 You never say explicitly. 319 00:34:43,283 --> 00:34:47,073 Did the desire to kill give you an erection, or the contrary? 320 00:34:48,363 --> 00:34:50,473 I would imagine myself killing someone. 321 00:34:51,993 --> 00:34:53,993 It was after that I got an erection. 322 00:34:55,203 --> 00:34:57,593 And did you ever dream about murder? 323 00:34:59,323 --> 00:35:00,243 Yes, often. 324 00:35:00,723 --> 00:35:02,203 Did it give you pleasure? 325 00:35:03,633 --> 00:35:04,553 Yes. 326 00:35:05,073 --> 00:35:08,673 How did that manifest itself? Did you ejaculate in your sleep? 327 00:35:12,953 --> 00:35:16,073 No one ever noticed you were masturbating so often? 328 00:35:17,323 --> 00:35:18,363 I don't know. 329 00:35:18,803 --> 00:35:22,923 Have you ever masturbated with someone else? 330 00:35:23,513 --> 00:35:24,923 No, that would disgust me. 331 00:35:26,153 --> 00:35:29,153 Not even at the seminary or with one of your brothers? 332 00:35:29,243 --> 00:35:30,513 No, I said no. 333 00:35:34,923 --> 00:35:38,473 Are you still masturbating here, in prison? 334 00:35:43,283 --> 00:35:45,923 - When was the last time? - None of your business. 335 00:35:46,843 --> 00:35:48,153 We need to know everything. 336 00:35:48,673 --> 00:35:51,803 If any of our questions make you angry, so be it. 337 00:35:53,253 --> 00:35:57,163 We aren't here to please you. So now answer the question. 338 00:35:57,773 --> 00:35:59,653 - When did you masturb... - I don't remember. 339 00:36:01,423 --> 00:36:03,093 You don't remember 340 00:36:03,903 --> 00:36:05,653 or you don't want to remember? 341 00:36:08,093 --> 00:36:12,213 You do remember that you fell from a window at age 3 and a half, 342 00:36:12,303 --> 00:36:15,303 that the weather was cloudy that very day, 343 00:36:15,383 --> 00:36:17,383 maybe even a bit rainy... 344 00:36:17,463 --> 00:36:19,613 Your memories of that are very accurate. 345 00:36:20,903 --> 00:36:23,573 But you don't recall your last masturbation? 346 00:36:24,173 --> 00:36:25,863 Bruno, please answer. 347 00:36:26,693 --> 00:36:29,773 We know you don't like to talk about it, but it's important. 348 00:36:30,423 --> 00:36:31,343 You have to tell. 349 00:36:37,253 --> 00:36:38,863 It's been 2 months and 13 days. 350 00:36:39,543 --> 00:36:40,463 Pardon? 351 00:36:40,903 --> 00:36:43,423 We can't hear you. Speak up, articulate. 352 00:36:46,093 --> 00:36:47,863 It's been 2 months and 13 days. 353 00:37:01,053 --> 00:37:02,383 Other than us, 354 00:37:02,943 --> 00:37:05,463 have you ever spoken about this to anyone else? 355 00:37:05,543 --> 00:37:06,463 About what? 356 00:37:09,053 --> 00:37:10,613 About masturbating, 357 00:37:11,343 --> 00:37:13,823 your thoughts of murder, your dreams... 358 00:37:16,093 --> 00:37:17,863 About my dreams, no. 359 00:37:21,303 --> 00:37:23,343 I never thought it was really a sin. 360 00:37:25,343 --> 00:37:26,253 And the rest of it? 361 00:37:27,903 --> 00:37:30,173 I started talking about it last year. 362 00:37:31,303 --> 00:37:32,423 At Easter time. 363 00:37:33,093 --> 00:37:36,173 I will see her one day 364 00:37:37,053 --> 00:37:40,213 In heaven, in her fatherland 365 00:37:41,093 --> 00:37:43,823 Yes, I will see Mary 366 00:37:44,943 --> 00:37:48,173 In her heavenly home 367 00:37:48,943 --> 00:37:52,613 In heaven, in heaven... 368 00:37:53,133 --> 00:37:55,823 I will see her one day 369 00:37:59,463 --> 00:38:01,093 In April 1904, 370 00:38:01,773 --> 00:38:04,343 a mission came to my parish in Raulhac. 371 00:38:11,133 --> 00:38:13,303 I resolved to take the opportunity 372 00:38:13,383 --> 00:38:15,733 to put my conscience in order, 373 00:38:16,773 --> 00:38:20,343 and I went to confess to the priest who was preaching the mission, 374 00:38:20,423 --> 00:38:23,463 who was the superior of the minor seminary of Saint-Flour. 375 00:38:58,423 --> 00:39:00,463 What do you mean by bad thoughts? 376 00:39:02,093 --> 00:39:03,023 I have 377 00:39:06,463 --> 00:39:07,903 hateful thoughts. 378 00:39:10,613 --> 00:39:11,653 Sometimes I... 379 00:39:13,383 --> 00:39:14,943 I almost want to kill them. 380 00:39:17,773 --> 00:39:20,693 - What did these classmates do to you? - Nothing. 381 00:39:22,173 --> 00:39:23,093 Nothing at all. 382 00:39:26,503 --> 00:39:27,423 What else? 383 00:39:31,213 --> 00:39:33,463 Despite myself I commit acts of impurity. 384 00:39:34,093 --> 00:39:35,823 - Regularly? - Yes, often. 385 00:39:39,983 --> 00:39:41,383 I sometimes tell myself 386 00:39:44,943 --> 00:39:46,383 that I'll never be able 387 00:39:47,613 --> 00:39:48,653 to resist. 388 00:39:51,823 --> 00:39:54,303 So to stop committing the sin, 389 00:39:54,383 --> 00:39:56,903 to stop having these thoughts, 390 00:39:57,863 --> 00:39:59,543 maybe I have to kill myself. 391 00:40:03,213 --> 00:40:05,053 Suicide is a grave sin, Bruno. 392 00:40:05,943 --> 00:40:07,543 Perhaps the gravest of all. 393 00:40:08,213 --> 00:40:11,543 It is refusing the gift of life that God has given us. 394 00:40:13,023 --> 00:40:14,733 It blasphemes His divine creation. 395 00:40:15,613 --> 00:40:18,613 All suicides suffer eternal damnation. 396 00:40:18,693 --> 00:40:20,463 - You know that. - Yes, Father. 397 00:40:21,903 --> 00:40:23,253 Listen well, my son. 398 00:40:24,343 --> 00:40:25,823 I believe 399 00:40:25,903 --> 00:40:27,823 you know right from wrong. 400 00:40:27,903 --> 00:40:31,613 That's the best way to fight these sins, which are very grave. 401 00:40:32,253 --> 00:40:35,823 Pray to God to save you and He will do it. 402 00:40:35,903 --> 00:40:37,053 But Father, 403 00:40:37,133 --> 00:40:39,733 every day I fight against these thoughts, 404 00:40:39,823 --> 00:40:42,773 every day I pray, but the thoughts return. 405 00:40:42,863 --> 00:40:44,653 You have to fight harder. 406 00:40:45,823 --> 00:40:47,303 Each of us must struggle. 407 00:40:47,693 --> 00:40:50,383 Our Lord himself was tempted by the devil, 408 00:40:50,463 --> 00:40:51,693 but defeated him. 409 00:40:54,943 --> 00:40:56,133 Perhaps 410 00:40:58,023 --> 00:41:02,303 your greatest sin is to see everything a little too darkly, don't you think? 411 00:41:03,053 --> 00:41:03,983 Yes, Father. 412 00:41:08,023 --> 00:41:09,213 How old are you? 413 00:41:10,213 --> 00:41:12,383 15. I'll be 16 soon. 414 00:41:13,613 --> 00:41:15,133 And you say you pray every day. 415 00:41:15,823 --> 00:41:18,213 Yes, Father. Morning and evening. 416 00:41:21,053 --> 00:41:22,823 And you have a taste for school. 417 00:41:23,253 --> 00:41:25,383 I've always been first in my class. 418 00:41:26,903 --> 00:41:27,823 Tell me, Bruno. 419 00:41:30,423 --> 00:41:34,253 Have you even felt a vocation to become a priest? 420 00:41:37,863 --> 00:41:38,773 A priest? 421 00:41:42,383 --> 00:41:43,693 I've never thought about it. 422 00:42:01,383 --> 00:42:02,303 At first 423 00:42:03,253 --> 00:42:05,343 I wasn't thinking about becoming a priest. 424 00:42:07,613 --> 00:42:09,653 But I believed that in a seminary 425 00:42:09,733 --> 00:42:12,093 I would be much safer from myself. 426 00:42:18,383 --> 00:42:21,023 The thought of being a priest appealed to me. 427 00:42:21,573 --> 00:42:23,093 Not to live comfortably, 428 00:42:23,173 --> 00:42:25,733 to be paid well, and to work little, 429 00:42:26,343 --> 00:42:29,253 but I would have been happy to lead an orderly, 430 00:42:30,343 --> 00:42:31,253 holy, 431 00:42:31,653 --> 00:42:32,653 penitent life, 432 00:42:32,733 --> 00:42:35,253 free from disorder and sin. 433 00:42:39,383 --> 00:42:40,693 Thank you, my Lord. 434 00:42:42,173 --> 00:42:43,093 Thank you. 435 00:42:44,503 --> 00:42:46,343 I am at present entirely yours. 436 00:42:48,613 --> 00:42:49,823 I will sin no more. 437 00:42:51,253 --> 00:42:52,173 Never again. 438 00:42:54,463 --> 00:42:56,943 Let me find peace at the seminary, please. 439 00:43:00,543 --> 00:43:02,343 I hope my father is with you. 440 00:43:05,863 --> 00:43:06,773 Amen. 441 00:43:35,903 --> 00:43:36,823 Blondel? 442 00:43:37,693 --> 00:43:38,693 What time is it? 443 00:43:45,053 --> 00:43:46,343 25 minutes to 3. 444 00:43:47,943 --> 00:43:48,863 Thank you. 445 00:43:51,253 --> 00:43:52,463 Do we arrive soon? 446 00:43:53,503 --> 00:43:54,943 In a little under two hours. 447 00:44:07,093 --> 00:44:09,983 The cost of education was too high for my family, 448 00:44:10,573 --> 00:44:14,863 but a wealthy landlord in Raulhac agreed to pay my fees for us. 449 00:44:17,543 --> 00:44:20,023 And so it was decided that I would study 450 00:44:20,093 --> 00:44:22,053 at the minor seminary of Saint-Flour. 451 00:44:37,573 --> 00:44:38,653 Hello, Father. 452 00:44:53,773 --> 00:44:55,943 Blondel and Langlois, show him the dormitory. 453 00:44:56,023 --> 00:44:56,943 Yes, Father. 454 00:45:03,053 --> 00:45:04,173 Stand up straight. 455 00:45:07,173 --> 00:45:09,213 Did you study over the summer? 456 00:45:09,733 --> 00:45:11,693 Ready for the new school year? 457 00:45:12,463 --> 00:45:13,383 Very good. 458 00:45:20,213 --> 00:45:23,383 When I first got to the seminary, I was very much behind. 459 00:45:27,903 --> 00:45:30,613 I had never studied Latin or Greek. 460 00:45:33,693 --> 00:45:36,133 Having been the best in primary school, 461 00:45:36,903 --> 00:45:39,863 I believed my intelligence to be completely superior. 462 00:45:41,543 --> 00:45:45,823 I'd never thought the other students would all be very intelligent, 463 00:45:47,053 --> 00:45:49,093 and that to make up for lost time 464 00:45:49,173 --> 00:45:52,543 I'd have to rely less on my intelligence than on hard work. 465 00:47:34,733 --> 00:47:36,503 I would like to welcome 466 00:47:36,573 --> 00:47:40,053 those who are joining us here this year. 467 00:47:47,173 --> 00:47:50,823 "He who lives by the rule lives by God." 468 00:47:52,093 --> 00:47:54,573 If you understand that, you understand the essential. 469 00:47:56,053 --> 00:47:59,093 We expect from you an abiding taste for study, 470 00:47:59,543 --> 00:48:01,503 total obedience to your teachers 471 00:48:02,423 --> 00:48:04,653 and respect for your fellow students. 472 00:48:05,983 --> 00:48:10,053 You must now think of the entire minor seminary of Saint-Flour 473 00:48:10,943 --> 00:48:12,503 as your new family. 474 00:48:14,693 --> 00:48:16,343 And now, let us pray. 475 00:49:01,573 --> 00:49:02,543 Silence! 476 00:49:32,383 --> 00:49:33,503 Move closer together. 477 00:49:35,213 --> 00:49:36,343 A little closer. 478 00:49:38,213 --> 00:49:41,253 I was the only boy whose fees were paid by charity. 479 00:49:42,383 --> 00:49:43,733 Always poorly dressed, 480 00:49:44,253 --> 00:49:45,173 gauche, 481 00:49:45,573 --> 00:49:48,343 scrawny, and expressing myself with difficulty... 482 00:49:51,463 --> 00:49:53,023 I was dark and lonely. 483 00:49:58,773 --> 00:50:02,053 As for my schoolmates, they all enjoyed wealth, 484 00:50:02,543 --> 00:50:03,463 pride, 485 00:50:03,943 --> 00:50:05,253 physical beauty, 486 00:50:06,093 --> 00:50:07,613 ease of speech, 487 00:50:08,253 --> 00:50:09,733 boldness, and joie de vivre. 488 00:50:17,173 --> 00:50:18,773 Look at the lens. 489 00:50:24,053 --> 00:50:25,573 How I resented them! 490 00:50:27,543 --> 00:50:29,903 How I would gladly have made them suffer! 491 00:50:32,053 --> 00:50:35,733 How I would have liked to deprive them of their enjoyable life! 492 00:50:43,383 --> 00:50:45,543 But killing them would have been too simple. 493 00:50:47,823 --> 00:50:50,253 I had to subjugate them, humiliate them, 494 00:50:51,983 --> 00:50:54,863 shred their beautiful clothes and faces, 495 00:50:57,863 --> 00:51:00,543 see them humble and obedient under the knife, 496 00:51:01,343 --> 00:51:03,613 torture them, behead them. 497 00:51:56,343 --> 00:51:58,543 How did you resist for a whole year? 498 00:52:03,253 --> 00:52:04,213 I studied hard. 499 00:52:23,503 --> 00:52:25,173 My classmates made fun of me 500 00:52:25,253 --> 00:52:28,943 when I told them I wanted to get through three classes in one year. 501 00:52:34,863 --> 00:52:36,093 They said I was mad. 502 00:52:50,613 --> 00:52:53,543 "That Reidal, who never plays with the others, 503 00:52:53,613 --> 00:52:55,383 "who doesn't want a holiday, 504 00:52:55,943 --> 00:52:59,303 "who spends his breaks walking alone in the yard... 505 00:53:06,343 --> 00:53:08,253 "He's not mean, Reidal. 506 00:53:08,343 --> 00:53:10,053 "He's a bit mousy. 507 00:53:11,343 --> 00:53:14,503 "Even if he is taciturn, his conversation is cheerful. 508 00:53:15,133 --> 00:53:16,863 "He is quick with a joke. 509 00:53:18,343 --> 00:53:19,983 Reidal is a pretty good fellow." 510 00:53:34,213 --> 00:53:36,573 Were you happy at the seminary? 511 00:53:41,463 --> 00:53:42,943 When my studies went well, 512 00:53:46,573 --> 00:53:49,613 and I didn't have to fight too hard against my inclinations, 513 00:53:51,943 --> 00:53:53,253 I thought myself happy. 514 00:55:01,773 --> 00:55:03,093 At the end of the year, 515 00:55:03,173 --> 00:55:05,093 my success was beyond all expectations. 516 00:55:06,133 --> 00:55:07,253 I received seven prizes: 517 00:55:08,733 --> 00:55:10,943 1st in Religious Instruction, 518 00:55:11,023 --> 00:55:12,733 2nd in Excellence, 519 00:55:12,823 --> 00:55:14,383 1st in Greek translation, 520 00:55:14,693 --> 00:55:16,253 1st in Natural History, 521 00:55:16,863 --> 00:55:18,823 1st in History and Geography, 522 00:55:19,213 --> 00:55:20,693 2nd in Mathematics, 523 00:55:21,343 --> 00:55:23,303 2nd in Quarterly exams. 524 00:55:26,573 --> 00:55:28,773 Inwardly, I was swollen with pride. 525 00:55:42,693 --> 00:55:43,613 Alas, 526 00:55:44,573 --> 00:55:46,383 when I saw myself attain a goal 527 00:55:46,463 --> 00:55:48,133 I had longed for, 528 00:55:49,343 --> 00:55:51,983 and in which I had seen all of my happiness, 529 00:55:53,773 --> 00:55:58,133 I was suddenly disgusted to see my life without any difficulty to overcome. 530 00:55:59,423 --> 00:56:01,863 Come children. Let's hurry. 531 00:56:03,983 --> 00:56:06,543 Then I saw existence as something bland. 532 00:56:07,253 --> 00:56:08,693 Enjoy the holiday, Odoul. 533 00:56:09,613 --> 00:56:10,543 You too. 534 00:56:12,303 --> 00:56:14,543 Something empty and monotonous. 535 00:56:14,613 --> 00:56:16,573 - Good-bye, Bruno. - Good-bye, Jean. 536 00:56:17,303 --> 00:56:19,053 Something I'd had enough of. 537 00:56:24,133 --> 00:56:26,503 I was overcome with a great languor. 538 00:56:31,093 --> 00:56:32,613 I wished no longer to live. 539 00:57:40,693 --> 00:57:43,133 Ma, Eugénie! Bruno's here! 540 00:58:31,693 --> 00:58:35,343 Gentlemen, my apologies, there was an emergency at the asylum. 541 00:58:51,733 --> 00:58:53,173 It's alright, I'm ready. 542 00:58:57,863 --> 00:59:01,253 So, we were at the holidays that preceded the crime. 543 00:59:01,823 --> 00:59:04,653 You wrote that you held them in great fear. 544 00:59:06,303 --> 00:59:07,573 Can you explain why? 545 00:59:08,823 --> 00:59:11,903 Surely you were tired after your year at the seminary. 546 00:59:11,983 --> 00:59:12,903 That's true. 547 00:59:14,303 --> 00:59:15,343 I was exhausted. 548 00:59:17,343 --> 00:59:19,573 But during the holidays I was at home. 549 00:59:20,343 --> 00:59:21,463 I didn't do much. 550 00:59:22,983 --> 00:59:26,543 And I know that when I am idle, I am most prone to evil. 551 00:59:26,613 --> 00:59:28,573 You were tempted at the seminary, too. 552 00:59:29,133 --> 00:59:31,573 Yes, but at the seminary I was supervised. 553 00:59:32,693 --> 00:59:35,173 And that alone kept you from succumbing? 554 00:59:36,343 --> 00:59:37,253 I think so. 555 00:59:38,213 --> 00:59:39,863 And I was working really hard. 556 00:59:41,133 --> 00:59:43,653 - You had work in the summer as well. - Very little. 557 00:59:45,053 --> 00:59:48,503 My mother could not find to hire me out. 558 00:59:49,383 --> 00:59:51,773 Everyone complained about my clumsiness. 559 00:59:55,503 --> 00:59:57,093 What did you do with your time? 560 00:59:59,653 --> 01:00:02,053 I would go and guard our cows. 561 01:00:03,093 --> 01:00:07,213 Or I'd take one of my prize-books and go read it somewhere. 562 01:00:08,303 --> 01:00:09,693 You didn't do anything else? 563 01:00:13,093 --> 01:00:15,693 When there was an errand to run, I'd do it. 564 01:00:17,133 --> 01:00:18,053 Or I would 565 01:00:18,613 --> 01:00:21,023 go fetch grass for my mother's rabbits. 566 01:00:21,733 --> 01:00:24,653 Since she was sick, it was up to me. 567 01:00:26,383 --> 01:00:27,823 You didn't masturbate? 568 01:00:33,503 --> 01:00:35,093 I resisted for the first days. 569 01:00:38,383 --> 01:00:42,133 But thoughts of murder and sexual pleasures were very strong. 570 01:01:04,503 --> 01:01:05,823 Get out! 571 01:01:08,423 --> 01:01:09,823 Go on, get out, now! 572 01:01:10,343 --> 01:01:12,773 Find yourself a husband. And a job! 573 01:01:13,213 --> 01:01:15,093 That'll be one less mouth to feed! 574 01:01:15,583 --> 01:01:16,863 Ungrateful girl! 575 01:01:29,823 --> 01:01:31,423 After four or five days, 576 01:01:32,253 --> 01:01:34,573 the idea came that, no matter how much I resisted, 577 01:01:35,423 --> 01:01:38,693 I'd never be able to resist all summer, despite my will. 578 01:01:46,463 --> 01:01:48,863 I wanted to go to confession, but I didn't. 579 01:01:50,213 --> 01:01:53,543 And I continued for a fortnight to masturbate 580 01:01:54,253 --> 01:01:55,173 five, 581 01:01:55,773 --> 01:01:58,173 six, seven, eight times a day. 582 01:02:44,613 --> 01:02:46,093 I was struggling, though. 583 01:02:48,253 --> 01:02:52,613 If I hadn't tried to hold back, I would have masturbated even more. 584 01:03:04,543 --> 01:03:07,463 My aversion to sexual pleasure was such 585 01:03:07,543 --> 01:03:11,023 that I thought I would be less guilty were I to commit a crime 586 01:03:11,093 --> 01:03:13,133 that would put an end 587 01:03:13,213 --> 01:03:15,613 to this sin I indulged in every day, 588 01:03:16,133 --> 01:03:19,253 than to commit every day the sin of masturbation. 589 01:04:10,903 --> 01:04:14,823 From August 12th to 23rd, I managed to stop masturbating. 590 01:04:21,613 --> 01:04:22,543 Bruno! 591 01:04:25,213 --> 01:04:26,863 - Bruno! - What? 592 01:04:27,693 --> 01:04:28,613 Come here! 593 01:04:41,383 --> 01:04:42,503 And your parents? 594 01:04:42,573 --> 01:04:43,733 My parents are fine. 595 01:04:44,343 --> 01:04:45,863 What about your little brothers? 596 01:04:46,613 --> 01:04:49,303 One will start at the minor seminary too. 597 01:04:49,383 --> 01:04:50,303 That's good. 598 01:04:51,463 --> 01:04:52,653 Here he is, I'll leave you. 599 01:04:56,823 --> 01:04:59,303 - Hello Bruno, am I disturbing you? - No. 600 01:04:59,653 --> 01:05:00,863 What were you doing? 601 01:05:01,343 --> 01:05:02,613 I was doing the hay. 602 01:05:03,343 --> 01:05:04,343 What do you want? 603 01:05:05,173 --> 01:05:08,173 I need a Latin dictionary. Could you lend me yours? 604 01:05:10,863 --> 01:05:12,023 I'll get it for you. 605 01:05:13,383 --> 01:05:14,303 Wait here. 606 01:05:26,863 --> 01:05:28,213 You still have your shaking? 607 01:05:30,693 --> 01:05:31,613 I still get it. 608 01:05:32,903 --> 01:05:34,613 Can I get it back to you next week? 609 01:05:35,133 --> 01:05:36,773 Yes, whatever you want. 610 01:05:37,343 --> 01:05:39,133 - You won't need it? - No. 611 01:05:39,983 --> 01:05:40,903 Thank you. 612 01:05:47,983 --> 01:05:50,253 We could go for a walk together sometime. 613 01:06:45,863 --> 01:06:48,383 "God, grant me the grace to remain faithful 614 01:06:48,463 --> 01:06:50,863 "to the resolutions I will make in writing 615 01:06:51,253 --> 01:06:52,903 "to remember more easily. 616 01:06:55,253 --> 01:06:59,303 "For me, you opened paradise, and closed the infernal abyss under my feet. 617 01:06:59,613 --> 01:07:01,173 "I loved you, O my Lord. 618 01:07:06,303 --> 01:07:09,983 "But the demon seduced me with the lure of fictitious pleasure, 619 01:07:10,423 --> 01:07:12,173 "closing my eyes to the light. 620 01:07:12,253 --> 01:07:13,463 "And I listened. 621 01:07:14,903 --> 01:07:15,863 "I succumbed, 622 01:07:16,613 --> 01:07:18,733 "I betrayed you cowardly, O my Lord. 623 01:07:20,053 --> 01:07:24,423 "I consented not to see you and possess you eternally in heaven 624 01:07:24,503 --> 01:07:26,343 "in exchange for a moment of pleasure 625 01:07:26,823 --> 01:07:28,383 "and an eternity of tears. 626 01:07:30,173 --> 01:07:34,943 "What wouldn't I sacrifice to return to the moment when I succumbed? 627 01:07:35,693 --> 01:07:37,573 "But the evil has been committed. 628 01:07:38,863 --> 01:07:41,173 "There is no more hope. Oh! yes... 629 01:07:41,943 --> 01:07:44,693 "The source of your mercy is inexhaustible. 630 01:07:46,023 --> 01:07:48,903 "Forgive, O Lord. I will sin no more in the future. 631 01:07:49,253 --> 01:07:52,573 I would rather die than commit that sin again." 632 01:07:57,303 --> 01:08:00,823 Do you remember when you wrote these "solemn resolutions"? 633 01:08:04,253 --> 01:08:05,543 It was August 23rd. 634 01:08:06,503 --> 01:08:09,943 And how soon after that did you succumb again? 635 01:08:14,253 --> 01:08:15,253 That same evening. 636 01:08:18,503 --> 01:08:22,853 And that was when you wrote this in the margin: 637 01:08:24,613 --> 01:08:26,173 "impossible to fight it" 638 01:08:26,253 --> 01:08:28,733 as well as "renewed resolutions"? 639 01:08:37,773 --> 01:08:40,693 In one of your notebooks you mention suicide. 640 01:08:44,223 --> 01:08:46,613 I've thought about it since I was 13 or 14. 641 01:08:47,973 --> 01:08:50,813 In your opinion, what stopped you from doing it? 642 01:08:52,573 --> 01:08:55,773 My religion says that suicide is an irreparable sin, 643 01:08:56,383 --> 01:08:58,463 followed by eternal damnation. 644 01:08:58,813 --> 01:09:02,343 But your religion also says that homicide is a very grave sin. 645 01:09:03,143 --> 01:09:04,143 Of course. 646 01:09:05,343 --> 01:09:08,503 But you consider it less serious to kill someone else 647 01:09:08,573 --> 01:09:09,973 that to kill yourself? 648 01:09:10,063 --> 01:09:11,543 I did not say that. 649 01:09:11,613 --> 01:09:12,573 Well then? 650 01:09:13,343 --> 01:09:16,973 After you kill someone you can repent and expiate your sin. 651 01:09:18,693 --> 01:09:20,383 Whereas for suicide 652 01:09:21,253 --> 01:09:22,303 that is impossible. 653 01:09:29,063 --> 01:09:31,733 Now you will have to tell us about September 1st. 654 01:09:33,253 --> 01:09:35,093 You already know all of the details. 655 01:09:35,733 --> 01:09:37,893 It's your story that we want to hear. 656 01:09:57,423 --> 01:09:59,093 The night of September the 1st, 657 01:09:59,733 --> 01:10:03,173 I dreamt about murder and I ejaculated in my sleep. 658 01:10:12,013 --> 01:10:13,423 The following morning, 659 01:10:13,503 --> 01:10:16,303 my bloodthirsty obsessions felt quite enjoyable. 660 01:10:30,813 --> 01:10:32,813 Good morning Mrs Reidal. Am I disturbing you? 661 01:10:33,423 --> 01:10:34,653 No, what is it? 662 01:10:34,733 --> 01:10:37,463 I've come to return Bruno's dictionary. Here. 663 01:10:37,543 --> 01:10:38,573 Thank you so much. 664 01:10:39,173 --> 01:10:40,093 You're welcome. 665 01:10:41,543 --> 01:10:44,543 I'm going to go read on the boulder. Want to come with me? 666 01:10:46,613 --> 01:10:47,543 May I? 667 01:10:48,063 --> 01:10:50,303 Like you meant to do anything today? 668 01:10:54,693 --> 01:10:55,613 I'll get my book. 669 01:10:57,573 --> 01:10:59,383 Eugénie, hand me my knife. 670 01:11:48,343 --> 01:11:52,063 Ah! I thought to myself, what is the point of fighting fate? 671 01:11:52,853 --> 01:11:56,653 You're meant to be a murderer, what has to happen will happen. 672 01:11:59,423 --> 01:12:00,343 Rejoice! 673 01:12:01,093 --> 01:12:03,143 Soon you will strike Blondel down. 674 01:12:03,973 --> 01:12:05,343 Blondel, so handsome, 675 01:12:06,463 --> 01:12:08,253 so proud, so intelligent, 676 01:12:08,653 --> 01:12:10,093 he whom you love so much. 677 01:12:12,253 --> 01:12:13,343 You will hold him, 678 01:12:14,383 --> 01:12:16,653 you will possess him, kill him. 679 01:12:17,223 --> 01:12:19,733 He will be yours, yours alone. 680 01:13:22,063 --> 01:13:22,973 Is it good? 681 01:13:24,383 --> 01:13:25,303 I don't know. 682 01:13:26,013 --> 01:13:28,303 To tell you the truth, I just started it. 683 01:13:29,013 --> 01:13:31,343 Can you lend it to me when you're done? 684 01:13:32,173 --> 01:13:33,093 If you like. 685 01:13:41,893 --> 01:13:43,853 I could see his beautiful face, 686 01:13:44,693 --> 01:13:46,063 his beautiful colours. 687 01:13:51,853 --> 01:13:53,813 I saw myself cutting off his head 688 01:13:53,893 --> 01:13:55,813 and hiding it and his clothes 689 01:13:55,893 --> 01:13:59,893 so no one would know if it was him or me who had been beheaded. 690 01:14:15,063 --> 01:14:17,173 It was the beginning of September. 691 01:14:20,463 --> 01:14:23,853 There were all kinds of fruit outside that I could eat. 692 01:14:26,303 --> 01:14:28,343 I saw myself travelling South, 693 01:14:29,013 --> 01:14:30,773 towards the land of good weather. 694 01:14:31,853 --> 01:14:34,653 From there I would somehow find a way 695 01:14:34,733 --> 01:14:36,173 to embark for a colony. 696 01:14:38,573 --> 01:14:42,383 I'd go to an African mission where I'd make a general confession. 697 01:14:43,933 --> 01:14:46,463 There are those who, once the crime committed, 698 01:14:46,543 --> 01:14:48,343 give themselves up. 699 01:14:50,223 --> 01:14:51,613 How stupid they are! 700 01:14:52,933 --> 01:14:54,653 Don't you even think about that. 701 01:14:56,063 --> 01:14:58,573 You'd be very foolish to get in a state 702 01:14:58,653 --> 01:15:00,573 on a happy day like today. 703 01:15:02,853 --> 01:15:06,013 This evening you will have cut Blondel's head off 704 01:15:07,093 --> 01:15:08,613 and then you will be free. 705 01:15:10,613 --> 01:15:12,013 You will live a new life 706 01:15:12,543 --> 01:15:14,893 until the day God sends death unto you 707 01:15:14,973 --> 01:15:18,693 to free you from a life that has been nothing but a long burden 708 01:15:19,063 --> 01:15:21,573 and to give you real bliss in eternity. 709 01:15:48,143 --> 01:15:49,463 The crime was committed. 710 01:15:50,063 --> 01:15:52,013 All that remained was to enjoy it. 711 01:15:53,853 --> 01:15:55,253 I'm cold, aren't you? 712 01:15:57,303 --> 01:15:58,463 A little. 713 01:15:58,543 --> 01:16:00,573 Why don't we go back into the woods? 714 01:16:01,253 --> 01:16:02,613 There's a nice view here. 715 01:16:03,063 --> 01:16:05,093 It doesn't matter, we're reading. 716 01:16:05,573 --> 01:16:06,503 You're right. 717 01:16:07,383 --> 01:16:08,303 Let's go. 718 01:16:15,653 --> 01:16:16,893 How happy I was! 719 01:16:17,893 --> 01:16:19,253 He was entering the trap. 720 01:16:30,933 --> 01:16:32,573 The opportunity had come, 721 01:16:32,973 --> 01:16:35,063 it was time to take advantage of it. 722 01:17:00,383 --> 01:17:01,653 I'll be right back. 723 01:17:39,383 --> 01:17:41,893 He finds life beautiful and I find it awful... 724 01:17:46,173 --> 01:17:47,423 I will open his chest, 725 01:17:48,613 --> 01:17:49,853 rip his heart out, 726 01:17:50,733 --> 01:17:52,693 and take it with me in memory of him. 727 01:18:24,063 --> 01:18:26,303 Will you come back for a walk tomorrow? 728 01:18:27,143 --> 01:18:28,063 If you want. 729 01:18:29,063 --> 01:18:31,143 And what are you doing this evening? 730 01:18:32,143 --> 01:18:34,223 I'm going to Badailhac to visit my cousins. 731 01:18:35,853 --> 01:18:36,773 Oh, alright. 732 01:18:38,543 --> 01:18:40,383 So I'll see you tomorrow. 733 01:18:40,813 --> 01:18:43,303 - Shall I pick you up? - As you like. 734 01:18:58,813 --> 01:19:00,463 After masturbating, 735 01:19:00,543 --> 01:19:02,503 when I thought about killing Blondel, 736 01:19:03,253 --> 01:19:05,253 I no longer saw any pleasure in it. 737 01:19:26,653 --> 01:19:30,093 I blamed myself for masturbating and failing the crime. 738 01:19:33,813 --> 01:19:35,653 It had to be done at all cost. 739 01:19:37,253 --> 01:19:38,893 I could think of nothing else. 740 01:19:40,143 --> 01:19:41,503 I couldn't keep still . 741 01:19:48,063 --> 01:19:50,653 I felt myself compelled to get up, 742 01:19:50,733 --> 01:19:53,503 to go look for someone to kill. 743 01:19:55,813 --> 01:19:58,013 Yet I remained at the table with my family. 744 01:19:58,093 --> 01:19:59,143 What? 745 01:19:59,223 --> 01:20:00,423 How old are you now? 746 01:20:00,853 --> 01:20:02,773 - 17. - 17? 747 01:20:02,853 --> 01:20:05,223 When I was 17, I was helping my parents! 748 01:20:05,303 --> 01:20:07,893 You'll give us a hand. It won't take long. 749 01:20:09,173 --> 01:20:10,813 Toward two in the afternoon, 750 01:20:11,613 --> 01:20:14,383 I figured that in the fields or on the paths 751 01:20:14,463 --> 01:20:15,463 I would find 752 01:20:15,543 --> 01:20:18,693 someone or other guarding some herd, and I'd kill him. 753 01:20:20,383 --> 01:20:23,503 I thought that the knife would cut my victim better 754 01:20:23,573 --> 01:20:24,733 if it was sharp. 755 01:20:26,503 --> 01:20:29,693 So I went and carefully sharpened my knife. 756 01:22:06,693 --> 01:22:07,613 François? 757 01:22:08,813 --> 01:22:09,733 What? 758 01:22:12,853 --> 01:22:14,013 Do you recognize me? 759 01:22:15,813 --> 01:22:17,143 You're Jules's brother. 760 01:22:24,693 --> 01:22:25,693 I saw you at mass. 761 01:22:26,853 --> 01:22:28,063 You're an altar boy. 762 01:22:29,253 --> 01:22:30,223 Yes, what of it? 763 01:22:32,223 --> 01:22:33,463 Nothing, just asking. 764 01:22:38,253 --> 01:22:39,503 What are you doing? 765 01:22:40,143 --> 01:22:41,423 Can't you see? 766 01:22:47,383 --> 01:22:48,613 Are you going home? 767 01:22:48,693 --> 01:22:50,813 First I have to get some kindling. 768 01:22:52,813 --> 01:22:54,693 He's not as good as Blondel, 769 01:22:55,223 --> 01:22:57,613 but I'll have a better chance of grabbing him. 770 01:22:59,013 --> 01:23:00,143 Can I come with you? 771 01:23:00,693 --> 01:23:01,613 If you want. 772 01:23:09,143 --> 01:23:12,303 "Well, here's what I need," I immediately thought. 773 01:23:34,773 --> 01:23:35,933 Are you tired? 774 01:23:36,773 --> 01:23:37,693 A little. 775 01:23:41,973 --> 01:23:44,093 Let's go gather some hazelnuts. 776 01:23:44,173 --> 01:23:46,303 - Is it far? - No, just over there. 777 01:23:47,573 --> 01:23:48,893 Leave your things here. 778 01:23:51,383 --> 01:23:52,303 Come on! 779 01:24:00,423 --> 01:24:02,173 Go ahead, it's right over there. 780 01:24:26,143 --> 01:24:28,773 Let's see if you're a good mountain shepherd. 781 01:24:28,853 --> 01:24:30,143 You're crazy! That hurts! 782 01:24:36,693 --> 01:24:38,613 When the poor little boy shouted: 783 01:24:38,693 --> 01:24:41,063 "Reidal, you're crazy, you're hurting my neck," 784 01:24:42,853 --> 01:24:44,253 I hesitated for a moment. 785 01:24:47,093 --> 01:24:50,573 I was starting to realize the seriousness of what I was doing. 786 01:24:53,013 --> 01:24:54,423 I might have let go, 787 01:24:54,503 --> 01:24:58,303 but I thought I had hurt him badly and that he'd tell his mother. 788 01:26:19,973 --> 01:26:23,733 After holding the head in my hands for about ten seconds, 789 01:26:23,813 --> 01:26:26,173 I saw that this was only a cadaver. 790 01:26:28,543 --> 01:26:29,973 It disgusted me so much 791 01:26:30,063 --> 01:26:32,613 that I threw it 3 or 4 meters from the body. 792 01:26:45,013 --> 01:26:47,063 I didn't masturbate, and I thought: 793 01:26:48,653 --> 01:26:51,063 "Is this how long this pleasure lasts?" 794 01:27:41,253 --> 01:27:43,253 I tried to cry to soothe myself, 795 01:27:44,173 --> 01:27:45,343 but I couldn't. 796 01:27:56,933 --> 01:28:00,463 "Mary, refuge of sinners and the desperate..." 797 01:28:01,773 --> 01:28:04,573 After praying for a moment, I thought: 798 01:28:05,893 --> 01:28:07,813 "What does God require of you? 799 01:28:09,543 --> 01:28:10,893 "It's only natural. 800 01:28:11,853 --> 01:28:13,693 "He asks only to forgive you, 801 01:28:13,773 --> 01:28:16,573 on the condition that you sincerely repent." 802 01:29:27,773 --> 01:29:30,973 I killed François Raulhac and I'm here to give myself up. 803 01:29:35,933 --> 01:29:38,063 Major crime, the gendarmes said. 804 01:29:39,693 --> 01:29:43,503 I did not understand the meaning, the scope, the weight, 805 01:29:43,573 --> 01:29:44,613 the value of those words: 806 01:29:45,543 --> 01:29:46,463 major crime. 807 01:29:53,813 --> 01:29:56,693 You feel no remorse for what you did to François? 808 01:29:58,693 --> 01:29:59,613 François? 809 01:30:01,143 --> 01:30:03,423 He looked happy and proud. 810 01:30:04,693 --> 01:30:06,653 Besides, he didn't like me very much. 811 01:30:08,933 --> 01:30:11,933 And those are sufficient reasons to have killed him? 812 01:30:21,503 --> 01:30:22,653 Please, 813 01:30:22,733 --> 01:30:25,423 we would like to know exactly what happened yesterday. 814 01:30:31,383 --> 01:30:33,093 Well, gendarmes, 815 01:30:33,773 --> 01:30:35,933 perhaps you can show him what he did. 816 01:30:36,013 --> 01:30:38,143 Show Mr. Reidal what he did yesterday. 817 01:30:38,223 --> 01:30:39,423 Remove these sheets. 818 01:30:42,613 --> 01:30:43,543 Come closer. 819 01:30:43,893 --> 01:30:45,223 Come closer! Close. 820 01:30:49,173 --> 01:30:50,173 Take a good look. 821 01:30:56,893 --> 01:30:58,093 Don't you remember this? 822 01:31:00,653 --> 01:31:02,933 Tell us exactly what happened yesterday. 823 01:31:05,143 --> 01:31:06,423 It's so very clear. 824 01:31:07,343 --> 01:31:09,933 We see a young boy who died in terrible pain. 825 01:31:10,013 --> 01:31:12,343 How do you explain it? You monster! 826 01:31:13,933 --> 01:31:18,143 If my conscience made it my duty to feel pity for François, 827 01:31:19,093 --> 01:31:21,653 I felt rather more inclined to hate him, 828 01:31:22,573 --> 01:31:25,853 jealous that he was being pitied while I was being insulted, 829 01:31:25,933 --> 01:31:28,343 I who felt much more unfortunate than he. 830 01:31:29,343 --> 01:31:30,613 That's enough! 831 01:31:31,463 --> 01:31:34,253 Take him to the prison in Vic. I'll see him later. 832 01:31:34,343 --> 01:31:36,503 "Scoundrels!" I thought to myself, 833 01:31:37,253 --> 01:31:40,853 "is this how you should treat a child unable to resist?" 834 01:31:40,933 --> 01:31:44,223 Young François, his face was a great deal nicer than yours... 835 01:31:44,933 --> 01:31:46,813 You deserve the same thing. 836 01:31:49,573 --> 01:31:50,693 I didn't cry. 837 01:31:53,093 --> 01:31:56,573 I might have cried if anyone had shown me compassion. 838 01:31:58,693 --> 01:32:00,463 And my thoughts turned to God. 839 01:32:03,013 --> 01:32:04,853 "My God, forgive me, 840 01:32:04,933 --> 01:32:07,543 and forgive them, for they know not what they do." 841 01:32:36,933 --> 01:32:39,343 Today, December 3rd, 842 01:32:40,653 --> 01:32:41,573 it is raining. 843 01:32:43,733 --> 01:32:46,693 My thoughts are darker and above all rather vague. 844 01:32:49,573 --> 01:32:51,423 My days are sad and monotonous, 845 01:32:52,503 --> 01:32:53,973 but don't seem long to me. 846 01:32:55,853 --> 01:32:58,143 I spend my time writing my memoirs, 847 01:32:58,503 --> 01:33:00,933 reliving in thought the life I have lived. 848 01:33:33,463 --> 01:33:36,383 I think often of the minor seminary of Saint-Flour, 849 01:33:36,813 --> 01:33:38,653 which is so dear to my heart. 850 01:33:40,463 --> 01:33:43,773 I am troubled to be so far from those I love, 851 01:33:45,543 --> 01:33:46,773 from those I loved, 852 01:33:47,693 --> 01:33:49,303 from those places I loved. 853 01:33:51,973 --> 01:33:54,653 All of my happiness lies in what I no longer have, 854 01:33:55,503 --> 01:33:57,093 in what I will no longer have. 855 01:33:59,543 --> 01:34:02,143 Everything that could make me happy is over there, 856 01:34:02,813 --> 01:34:04,853 at the minor seminary of Saint-Flour. 857 01:34:07,173 --> 01:34:10,093 Do they ever think of me, those friends I mourn? 858 01:34:12,653 --> 01:34:14,383 Will I ever see them again? 859 01:34:17,573 --> 01:34:19,253 What misfortune is mine? 860 01:34:33,063 --> 01:34:35,813 For months I've been struggling and struggling 861 01:34:36,303 --> 01:34:38,573 to keep the idea from coming back. 862 01:34:41,423 --> 01:34:43,173 And with all of your questions... 863 01:34:49,253 --> 01:34:50,543 I am a coward. 864 01:34:51,543 --> 01:34:54,383 I always say I won't do it again, and then I do. 865 01:34:59,573 --> 01:35:00,613 What happened? 866 01:35:04,253 --> 01:35:06,343 I masturbated last Thursday. 867 01:35:18,503 --> 01:35:20,253 I had a dream about Blondel. 868 01:35:23,933 --> 01:35:27,253 I saw him on the boulder where we went for a walk. 869 01:35:29,253 --> 01:35:32,573 I saw myself hit him over the head with a stick. 870 01:35:33,573 --> 01:35:35,973 And then I saw him there, on the ground. 871 01:35:39,893 --> 01:35:42,223 And I had a great erection. 872 01:35:47,223 --> 01:35:48,423 Imagine, 873 01:35:50,303 --> 01:35:52,693 what a joy for me to possess Blondel. 874 01:35:54,253 --> 01:35:56,813 He whom I consider almost like a demi-God. 875 01:36:00,543 --> 01:36:03,063 At every moment Blondel is in my mind. 876 01:36:06,253 --> 01:36:09,613 I imagine myself furrowing his face with a knife. 877 01:36:15,503 --> 01:36:16,543 All day long, 878 01:36:17,143 --> 01:36:19,613 thinking about him, I want to kill him. 879 01:36:24,463 --> 01:36:26,423 I'll never be done with Blondel. 880 01:36:31,933 --> 01:36:33,253 No matter what I do, 881 01:36:34,773 --> 01:36:37,613 for me, scenes of murder are full of charm. 882 01:36:59,143 --> 01:37:01,503 Based on the report by Professor Lacassagne, 883 01:37:01,573 --> 01:37:04,013 Bruno Reidal was interned in an insane asylum. 884 01:37:05,613 --> 01:37:10,093 He entered the asylum at Aurillac on January 16th, 1907. 885 01:37:11,653 --> 01:37:16,253 He died there on September 13th, 1918 at the age of 30.