[intriguing music]
[Tory] Richard!
- Richard! - What?
- Come here! - I'm coming.
- Look! - Mate, I'm busy.
Look. Out there!
What?
It's a flying pig, a floating pub,
a boat full of supermodels? - Yes!
Is it?
It's a boat!
- Where? - Right out there.
Look.
It's a container ship.
[intriguing music]
- What ship? - Out there.
- Where? - You don't see it?
Tory, how long have you been staring out to sea through these?
- Give me that. - Tory...
[Tory] Where did it go?
I know how much you want to get off this island,
but you're sending yourself mad.
Do what I'm doing, give yourself some quality time.
I'm enjoying a lovely bath, you can use the water after me if you'd like.
Relax, you'll hurt your head.
And get out of the sun as well.
Where did it go?
[soft music]
Put it this way, if there was a ship out there that day, I didn't see it.
This is what I was saying about being worried about Tory.
He spent all day every day up in that tower, on his own,
staring through binoculars.
And I think the sun and the solitude frankly were starting to get to him.
[Tory] I don't know what he told you
but trust me, I saw a boat that day.
And that's when I decided I was going to figure out
how often they sailed past.
[intriguing music]
[birds chirping]
Tory?
- Richard. - Are you all right?
- I'm glad you're here. - I've not seen you for days.
I think I figured it out. Every three days,
two ships go by.
There's a shipping lane,
just off the coast.
- Are you living up here now? - I have to.
So, you never go down?
No.
What do you do if you need to... you know, go?
[flies buzzing]
[Tory] Feel free to use it if you have to go.
Oh!
Mate, just have a shower and then come down
and tell me all about what you've worked out.
Okay, yeah. We need to build a raft.
It's simple, we just gotta build a raft.
[Tory] So I figured if we could just reach
the shipping lane, we'd be rescued.
It couldn't have been more than ten miles.
Richard wasn't having it though, but I finally convinced him
that a raft was going to be our best way to escape.
At this point, I just want to say for the record,
I like cars, he does...
explosions or whatever.
We neither of us know anything about boats.
He's probably told you I offered to help with his raft.
I was humouring him. I was trying to stop him going mad.
Plus, if his plan had worked,
I'd have been left alone on the island with a chicken and a football.
[soft music]
[Tory grunting]
Ta-da!
What's that for?
It's for the raft.
You're gonna make your raft out of driftwood?
Yeah.
If you want it to sink!
Listen, I wouldn't call myself a boat expert.
I'm going to have to agree with you on that one.
You're the reason we're in this predicament in the first place.
You're going to have to let that one go soon, it's poisoning you.
I'm still working through it.
I've watched enough survival shows to know that's what you build a raft from.
Big chunks of wood,
that's what a raft is.
Wanna have a boat build off?
Yeah, we'll have a floatation face off.
A buoyancy battle.
- God. - Yeah.
- All right, you're on. - Okay.
I'll see you at the beach.
[Richard] There! Since the dawn of time,
humankind has made rafts like this.
Wood.
It's light, it's strong, and thanks to the air
trapped between the fibers, it's buoyant,
it's plentiful, renewable,
environmentally and ecologically sound, that is a classic for good reason.
Actually, that is what I was picturing when we said raft.
But we also have modern day materials.
Look at mine.
Buoyancy, that's what I have working for me.
Each of these 40-gallon barrels has enough air
to keep me afloat.
If I looked out of my window at home
and my neighbours had that in their garden,
I would ring the council and complain.
Looks like somebody has been fly-tipping. It's hideous.
This ugly thing is going to get us off this island.
[Richard] If you've got to have a raft, have a classic.
Whoever's raft stays afloat the longest is the design we're going with.
Yeah, all right.
And don't try to take my design idea after it works.
[action music]
Surprisingly heavy.
Any minute now.
Need help with your raft? [laughing]
We're not having a launching competition.
It's a competition to see which is best.
You wait till she's afloat.
See you out at sea.
[action music continues]
Okay.
[whimsical music]
Tory, I'm sinking.
Wanna get onto mine?
I thought wood floated.
You're kind of like half way on the raft, half way in the water.
It's like, you...
It doesn't work.
So, do you agree, my design is better than yours?
Yes, mine has sunk.
- This is the design we're going with? - Yes!
Here.
No, I'm going home.
[light music]
I win.
So, yes, yes, I let him win on purpose.
You are both very stupid men.
Quite honestly, I'm surprised we're not both dead.
So, what happened next?
[Tory] We built a version
of my winning design big enough for the both of us.
I added a mast and a sail,
and we were getting out of there.
[intriguing music]
[Tory] All right, that's it.
So, we got food, we got water, we got the oars.
Gin.
[Tory] We got the gin.
- Why are we taking Clarkson? - We're a team!
I know but he takes up so much room.
We're not going to leave somebody behind.
Okay.
How far are we really going to get
on this heap of junk?
We don't have to go far. All we have to do
is get out to that shipping lane.
If we get out there, we'll get seen, we'll get rescued.
Wait, wait.
Bye-bye,
beautiful tree house.
Bye-bye four-poster bamboo bed.
Bye-bye Monster the chicken, you're in charge now.
We're leaving Monster?
I opened the door, she can get out.
Okay. All right, you ready?
Yep.
Finally, we can get off this land.
[action music]
Do you know how to sail?
No.
Neither do I.
So now what then, captain?
Isn't it supposed to just fill up with wind and push you along?
Ah, but it doesn't, does it?
You're being pulled along because you've got high pressure
on one side of it, and then lower pressure
on the other side, and actually it's the lower pressure that pulls you toward it,
so technically you're being pulled when you're sailing,
not pushed.
[Richard] When do we start drinking our own pee?
[Tory] Let's wait till we run out of water first.
[Richard] Okay.
[Tory] I thought this was going to be a lot easier.
We're going to die out here on the water, and we're going to die
of boredom.
I tell you what I'm going to do. I can't take much more of this.
- What are you doing? - I'm going home. We've tried.
Get back here. You can't just jump ship.
[light music]
Look, there is a wind coming!
It's working,
I'm going to get rescued!
No, no, no, no!
And there it is.
See you at home.
[Tory] Traitor!
Yeah, it turns out sailing is a lot harder than it looks.
Especially when your mast gets snapped by a light breeze.
It's like I told you: I do cars, he makes things go bang.
We don't do boats.
Hello, my darling.
Looks like we're going to be here a little bit longer than I thought.
So next thing I'm thinking is maybe building a raft
with some kind of mechanical device on it, something that we can control.
And I'm hoping if I can get Richard involved,
because he does love mechanical things,
I could get his help in getting us
off this island,
because at the moment it seems like he wants to stay.
[soft music]
Too bad we can't ride
of this island huh? - Yeah well, we can't.
Edison didn't invent the light bulb right.
He took somebody else's idea and then he improved on it.
Yeah?
Your idea for a raft
is the good basis of an idea.
Oh, thank you.
But it needs a visionary to complete it and make it work.
Okay.
We need your raft,
and peddle power.
Keep going.
If we're going to do this, Tory,
I need 100% commitment.
And your bicycle.
Well look who just showed up.
Finally.
I thought I was the only one that wanted off this island.
Let's do this.
We've got your bicycle, here's the other one.
One each
on one raft.
What we don't want to do is mount these up side by side on the raft, do we?
Because then whichever of us is pedaling the strongest,
we'll keep going around corners.
Why don't we do tandem?
One behind the other?
- Yep. - Okay let's dismantle.
[rock music]
Right, don't need that bit.
[saw whirring]
My plan is,
this can actually operate the rudder.
This is your build.
[rock music continues]
So, it's going to look something like...
- This sort of thing. - Yeah.
Chain, chain,
tensioners... - Welding.
Both driving.
This is going to work.
Let's attach it to the other bike.
Tory, how many paddles do you think we need in our paddlers?
I don't know. How many you got so far?
Well, three on each wheel.
If one came in too quickly after one had just gone in it would be going
into turbulent water and it would be inefficient.
Your guess is as good as mine.
[intriguing music]
[Richard] This is it then.
This is when it gets its power.
- Tell me when you have it in. - Hold on, yep.
Okay.
- [hammer knocking] - Subtle engineering.
- All right, we're in. - Oh yeah.
Now if we run that round,
it should...
It's on!
All right.
Pedals are turning.
- It works. - Shall we go for a spin?
Yeah let's go rafting.
[Richard grunting]
- You gonna be at the front? - Oh yeah.
- So how do we steer this thing? - Well normally,
a boat's rudder is at the back.
It sort of pivots the boat in the middle. That's how they work.
But we've got the paddles at the back,
so I've had to put the rudder at the front.
The steering is going to be a little vague.
- You ready? - Yeah.
- Let's go. - And begin.
- That works. - Is it turning?
Yeah. That's pretty good.
- It works! - Yeah.
The horizon is just roaring towards us.
[bell ringing]
Rescue us.
This is a world changing machine.
I wouldn't go that far.
I'm going to call it the bi-sea-cle. Bi-sea-cle.
That's clever! Bi-sea-cle, I get it.
The irony will be when I make a fortune.
[Tory] We'll come back and buy this island.
I'm going to buy it.
- [Richard] Bi-sea-cle TM. - This is the last place I wanna be.
Captain's log 204.
I've invented a whole new type of vehicle,
the bi-sea-cle.
Consider it my gift to human kind.
A pedalo. Richard had "invented" a pedalo.
[action music]
This is epic.
- It's working. - Is it ever!
It is a treat to watch you mastermind something.
Thank you.
I'm excited about your new invention.
This is a world changer this thing.
Which way do you have that thing pointed?
What?
Our rudder.
That way.
Looks like we might need to go a little bit to the left.
I didn't fit satnav.
You said it's just out to sea. Ten miles.
[Richard] Ten miles isn't far.
[stressful music]
We've been going for a while now.
Feel like we've been pedaling for hours.
[Richard] Are you peddling? It's getting more difficult.
- Feel the burn? - Yeah, I am feeling the burn.
[Tory gasping]
[Tory] My legs are burning.
I mean, it was clear from the off that the bi-sea-cle
was an engineering masterpiece.
But it was, I'll grant you, more suited to...
athletic types like me.
God I was exhausted.
I've never been so tired in my life.
I mean the only thing that was keeping me going was
the thought of getting off that island and getting home.
Let's keep going.
- Yeah, let's keep... - Head down.
- Ten miles? - Yep.
Okay.
[Tory] At least.
I'll have a look, see how far we've come.
Tory do not look.
- Are we far? - Don't look. Just keep going.
[Tory crying] Oh, no.
[Richard] You looked.
[Tory] We're never going to get off this island.
I'm sorry, I'm going home.
[Tory] I knew this thing wouldn't work.
[Richard] Another two hours and we can be home.
Obviously, it was disappointing that Tory just didn't have the power
to make the bi-sea-cle really work.
I was desperate to get off the island.
And to get Richard to stop saying "bi-sea-cle".
I had to come up with another plan.
[light music]
- Water's almost ready. - Good.
What are you going to imagine the yucca is tonight?
Well, it's treat night for me.
Once a week I imagine it's steak.
Oh, that's a good one...
- Yeah - That sounds delicious.
What are you going to imagine it is?
I'm going to imagine lobster.
Oh surf and turf! We could half and half.
All right, so, let's think about this again.
- The raft... - Yes.
- [Tory] What went wrong? - Everything.
So the sail was probably not the best idea.
No, it was a stupid idea. It didn't work.
And then the manpower...
- That was worse! - Yeah.
So, I suggest we drop the idea of rafts.
They don't work.
We've tried it, but we've failed.
Steam!
What?
We can make a steam engine!
Now, I know a steam engine sounds crazy.
Richard said the same thing. But you have to understand, I had a plan...
[intriguing music]
What are you doing?
Look what I found.
Remember this? It's the boiler.
I remember that.
Yeah, that was the hoist that pulled up the anchor,
but now we could use that for our steam boat.
What, so we've got the whole lot?
Yeah, boiler, engine.
All we need to do is build a paddle system.
- Do you think it'll work? - I don't know.
Will you help me pull this out?
All right.
You might actually be on to something here, I'm just saying.
Look at that, teamwork see?
When we work together, we can do anything.
So, that is the boilery bit.
Yes.
So this inside of here is a pressure tank.
We'll fill this up with water, light the fire
just inside of here.
That'll heat up the water,
create steam, and we just pump that steam into our steam engine.
And this is the engine that does the actual power.
Yeah, so now we just need to get this
hooked up to that.
We'll fill it with water, light the fire, see if it works.
This could work.
[rock music]
This is very important.
This is our pressure gauge.
We don't want to overpressure this thing
because it could end up turning into a giant bomb.
That's the point with these things because people think
a steam engine is nice and fluffy and benign.
But the contained energy is...
Yeah, if this thing were to overpressure and explode...
- We'd die. - Not to mention destroying our raft,
we'd be dead.
Steam comes down the hose, into the cylinders,
the cylinders stay pressurized, like a backwards and forwards movement
so it's like pressures going this way.
Different valve opens up and it pushes the piston back that way.
That moves the crankshaft.
Crankshaft is attached to our gears,
and that's going to spin our axle which we will attach a paddle to eventually.
We're talking a lot because we are putting off the inevitable
which is getting this baby going.
- Err, should we light the fire? - Wait.
- Yes? - We need hats.
I'm not running a steam engine without a hat.
All right, let's get our hats on and then we'll light the fire.
- This feels kind of like a ceremony... - Yeah it is.
We've got hats, we've got fire.
Well, this could be our ticket off this island.
Right, there is water in. You can see it in the gauge on the side.
[Tory] All right.
- [Richard] I'm now lighting the fire. - Okay.
Stuff's catching.
[Richard] Now close this.
All right I got this valve open.
And our steam valve is closed.
It's exactly like lighting a log burner at home.
Now what?
I think we just wait till the steam builds up.
[Tory] I can already here the water bubbling.
Something elemental about this, isn't there?
Because it's fire, water...
- Yeah. - ... pressure.
Well it's like, neither of us know how to sail,
so that was a terrible idea. - Yeah that was your idea.
The man-power thing, I mean it was a funny design
but it was too much work.
This could be our answer.
I can't wait to see this thing move, alive.
- Yeah me too. - [Richard hissing]
[water bubbling]
- Woohoo, I think we got steam. - Be careful! That's gonna be hot.
Woo, it's hot.
Right so now that's building pressure because you've shut that valve.
- Yeah. It's very exciting. - We've started the process.
- We're building pressure. - Yeah, it's happening.
It's like a ticking time bomb.
And the worst part is, you don't know when it's gonna...
[engine backfiring]
[Tory] The pressure release valve is working!
- Isn't it? - Yeah!
I think I just did a poo in my pants.
I released my own pressure at the same time as that, all of it!
- Okay so we have steam. - Yeah we have.
That's obvious.
- Is that valve open? - That valve is open.
Okay I'm going to open this one slowly.
[Richard] Okay we should see that come out here.
[ Richard] Yeah, there's water and vapour.
- [Tory] Okay that's a good sign. - Wait a minute.
Now that's just vapour.
So that is steam all the way through.
We got steam!
So, you shut that off.
- Okay you close... - And I shut this valve.
And at that point, when you turn that on...
- We should have... - It should run.
All right. Here we go.
Slowly.
I feel like Frankenstein.
[Richard] Oh!
It lives!
-[Richard] It lives! - It works!
[epic music]
Richard, we have a steam engine.
- [Tory screaming] - It works!
Oh my god! It's beautiful!
- We're spinning our wheels! - We have power.
[Tory] Now we just need to mount this to our raft,
put on a paddle or something. - Yeah.
And we'll get off this island.
- [Tory screaming] - That is beautiful.
[Tory] It's like "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang".
[epic music continues]
We've figured a way off this island.
We're making a steam powered boat. I'm coming home to you.
Oh my gosh. I can't wait to see you,
tell you about this crazy adventure.
I miss you so much.
[knocking]
Tory.
Here we go.
[both grunting]
Alright the height of this is going to be kind of important.
We need to have it dipping deep into the water to push us along.
Actually, no, if you think about it we don't because
if they dip too deep, if the water is like here,
it goes along there and that's pushing forwards, pushing forwards.
But from there it's just creating drag as it lifts water up needlessly
so they need to be quite shallow.
They just want to dip, push and then get out.
So, you're better off with them just above the water
so it just dips and comes out, dips and comes out.
The problem is we don't know exactly where
this boat is going to sit on the water yet.
- No. So what I've done... - Yeah?
... is guess.
Oh, you've made a scientific guess.
No just a straight up guess.
- Oh. - Just a guess.
- Let's hope your guess was right. - It looks pretty good.
Yeah it looks great.
[Tory] Stick it in.
[Tory] Alright shall we get the other one on?
[upbeat music]
There.
- Good? - Yeah.
There you go.
- Ta-da! Come on! - [Tory screaming]
- It's beautiful. - Ah yeah that is proud.
So, we've still got to put the rudder on...
And then we have to put the boiler on,
and then we can test this bad boy out.
Oh yeah.
Ah, I wish you guys could've seen the steamboat.
It was beautiful.
And once we had it fuelled it up with driftwood,
we were ready to set sail.
[epic music]
[Tory] We are at full steam captain.
[Richard] Carry on number one, carry on.
I'm feeling good about this one.
[epic music continues]
This boat, it actually worked?
[Tory] Yeah it totally worked.
But have you ever been on a steam powered paddle boat
with a bored five-year-old?
Try doing it with Richard Hammond.
It's worse.
[whimsical music]
- Tory? - Yes?
- Are we nearly there yet? - No.
What about now, are we nearly there now?
Not yet.
- Tory captain? - Yes captain?
Might I enquire of you
as to the proximity of us
towards our shared objective,
namely being there yet.
God, I thought it was bad being on an island with you.
If we're going to be a long time at sea
you're going to have to lighten up, chum.
Come on.
Listen we got food and water for four days.
We're going to be out here for a while
so let's try not to get on each other's nerves.
[Richard] How are we going to know how far we've gone anyway?
With this.
-[Richard] A plank? - No.
We're going to measure how fast we're going in knots,
like the old sailors used to do. - Go on.
Since we had time I thought maybe we should come up
with a crude measuring system.
So, I took all the rope that I could find on the ship,
tied it together, and every metre I have tied a knot.
What I'm going to do is throw off the buoy or how you call it a "boy"...
"Boy", it's what it is.
And then what I'll do is have you time every 30 seconds
I'll see how many knots go through my hand.
- Ah, the knots are a metre apart? -Yes.
So, we'll know how many metres we've gone in 30 seconds,
which we can extrapolate how many metres we've done in a minute,
and then how many metres an hour, which is kilometres an hour.
Precisely.
- Boom. - Then we'll know roughly
how fast we're going and how far we're going.
You've been thinking.
There's nothing else to do on this ship.
That's where knots came from.
Based on nautical miles.
All right you ready?
You tell me when it's in the water and I'll time it.
Okay.
- Buoy out. - Okay.
- [Richard] Might me counting. - One.
- That's five seconds. - Two.
Three.
- [Richard] 15 seconds gone. - Four.
Five.
- Five seconds to go. - Six.
Three, two, one.
- Seven. - Seven in 30 seconds.
So that's 14 metres a minute, what's 14 times 60?
I haven't eaten in days, I can't do math.
Wait a minute,
14 times 10 would be 140, times 6,
840 metres an hour.
That's very nearly 1 kilometre an hour
which is incredibly slow.
Yeah, small problem with steamboats. Not fast.
But I didn't give up, even with the crazy man-child driving me nuts.
[Richard] Can I drive?
- Do you want to do something helpful? - Yeah.
- You want to take coordinates? - That sounds complicated.
- Can I feed the fire? - Absolutely not.
- Can I watch you feed the fire? - Only if you don't talk.
Oh, come on.
I could do that.
Don't even think about it.
[Richard] How will we know when we get to your shipping lane?
What does a shipping lane look like?
Does it have lines down the middle and lights?
And which side of the sea do they drive on?
I mean, you don't want to be going the wrong way up the shipping lane,
on the wrong side,
and the same side as the oncoming ships traffic.
I can feed the fire. Every fifteen minutes,
one log.
See, I know.
All right, fine.
I'll let you stoke the fire if you promise to stop talking.
Can you do that?
Okay now listen,
just make sure you keep your eye on the gauge
so we don't over pressurize this vessel.
Because if that happens, this whole thing could explode,
taking this ship out and us with it.
So, whatever you do, don't overfeed the fire.
Got it? All right.
I'm going to take a nap.
Another twelve minutes to go and this is going in.
[Tory sighing]
[playful music]
Clarkson, psst.
Clarkson, are you awake?
Right, here's the score.
He puts one log in that boiler every fifteen minutes.
Here's my thinking: that's boring.
Why don't I just put four logs in
once an hour then I can have the rest of the hour
to you know have a snooze, talk to a dolphin,
have a snooze.
It's the same thing, four logs an hour.
It's efficiency.
Glad you agree.
Plan.
[playful music continues]
Uh-oh!
[intriguing music]
There you go.
Easy.
Nice idea, Clarkson, well done mate.
So, it turns out that putting lots of wood on at once
isn't time saving brilliance.
I know that now.
[stressful music]
[metal clanging]
[steam hissing]
What's going on?
- [Richard] What? - What did you do?
What do you mean, what did I do?
[Tory] The pressure!
We're maxed out on the gauge. This is not good, Richard.
I haven't touched the gauge.
- How much wood did you put in there? - Same as you.
You overfed it, didn't you?
I didn't want to put in a bit at a time, I put it in in one go.
- It's the same. - This thing could blow!
What do you mean blow?
- Abandon ship! - Do what?
- Abandon ship. - I'm not getting in there.
There's sharks in there.
Richard do whatever you want. I'm getting off this boat.
You can't just go.
[Richard] Well wait a minute, there's protocol in abandoning ship.
I'm going to do it with dignity and style.
Are there sharks?
[epic music]
[Richard] Clarkson!
[Richard] Oh, no!
- [Tory] Hey, it didn't explode! - No and it's still going.
[Richard] Well now we're not on it.
How is this better than being on our beautiful island home?
If a shark eats me, I'll be bloody furious!
If you hadn't overfed the furnace, we would still be on there.
You put four logs in, each that big,
one every fifteen minutes.
I put four logs in at the same time.
Exactly. That's why it overheated and that's why it almost exploded.
[Tory] You almost killed us with that little stunt of yours.
[Richard] Yeah almost is the key thing.
Well it looks like it's slowing down.
[Tory] We could probably catch it.
[Richard imitating Tory] Unless it explodes.
It's stopped.
[Tory] You know what though, better to be safe than sorry.
Yeah.
- That could have taken us both out. - Yeah.
All right, let's get this thing fixed.
From here on out, I'm in charge of the wood.
It's manual labour anyway, I don't do that.
I'm officer grade.
And then what happened?
So yeah, I calmed down, got the boiler working again,
and we finally made it to what I guessed was the shipping lane.
This is it.
- This is the shipping lane? - Yep.
[playful music]
Well what do we do now then?
We wait.
[playful music continues]
[stressful music]
How much longer do we wait?
- Until a ship comes. - It's been four days.
We've run out of food, we've run out of water,
I'm starving, Clarkson's bored.
Everything in my calculations says
this should be the shipping lane
and a ship should have come by by now.
Can I have a look at your calculations?
[playful music]
This is what we came out here based on? It's garbage!
That's a picture of a table lamp!
These insane ramblings...
What is that?
[laughing] That's you.
I've let myself be dragged out here to die on the sea...
... by what is now evidently a lunatic.
How much worse can things can get?
Well, this is all the wood we have left to get back.
And there it is. Now we really are screwed.
[Richard] We're stuck out here with no fuel,
no sail, and no hope.
[sailor music]
[Richard] Help! Somebody help me!
[Richard screaming]
Subtitling: ECLAIR