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- You're like a bachelor. - Knock it off!
We're a family, you have to mind the kids too.
I'm always attentive to you, I neglect myself.
Neglect? Is this neglecting yourself?
You're not alone in the world, start thinking about others, Nicola.
- No! - You don't do a thing. - Sara, I'm always here.
- We said 50/50, but I do it all. - Not true, I neglect my work, I don't sleep.
It's all on me! You have no clue what goes on here!
Why? Because I can't keep up with you.
You're precise, inflexible, on how things are done.
- Because it's just me who does them. - Again?
- Tell me what you did today. - I ran the dishwasher, they all saw me.
- Screw you! - You fly right off the handle.
You say "screw you" and think it's over.
If there's something to do, you always do it later.
- We do it together. - That's crap.
- You do things after I already have. - Why do you do things right away?
- What will we do? - It'll work out.
KIDZ
- Will things change a lot? - No, not much, we'll be flexible.
It's gonna be okay.
- Why do they say one and one is 11? - Huh?
One kid plus another aren't two, but eleven.
It's a dreadful saying, funny only for online newspapers.
- Eleven, really? - Yeah.
- It's gonna be okay. - Yes.
- Why are you panting? - I'm not.
- We'll stick together. - Eleven. - Eleven?
Every set of parents has a story and each story is different.
There are apprehensive parents.
They became parents late, their lives circle around their child.
Self-denial, sacrifice, maniacal dedication to the little one,...
..who is cleansed with temperature-controlled oil, has English lessons at six months,...
..almost never goes out, it's either too cold or too hot.
He's smothered with attention which causes damage.
The child thinks being the center of the world is natural.
Instead, growing up, he'll have to face capitalism like us all...
The pen is on the table.
..And the IRS.
The pen is on the table.
There are naturalist parents. Nature is forced on their child.
He can't eat snacks, use an iPad or watch TV.
He gets one shoe at Christmas, the other at Easter,...
..so he won't take things for granted.
But at 18, he'll shoot heroin down by the station.
There are millionaire parents.
They have overpaid nannies who are delegated 100 % of the child's education.
They televote for "The X Factor" on their mega TVs...
..while in a far corner of their vast living room a pair of Filipinos play with the kids,...
..having the children call them "mommy" and "daddy".
There's the separated parent, male, about forty,...
..feeling only pain, anguish and ruin.
Assailed by guilt feelings of Catholic origin,...
..he always sees a priest in the lurk.
You, shit!
You're a real shit.
Single, with endless sex stories, but he's never happy.
There are parents with more than two children.
Pursuing dreams of ancient agro-artisan peoples,...
..they've run up against a huge misconception...
..and are atoning for the suffocation of a life organized to the nth...
..which can collapse into chaos at any minute.
They have continuous accidents and a long list of things to remember,...
..do, buy, they have to yell to be heard.
They're bent and old by now.
In a pocket, if needed, they always keep a cyanide pill,...
..which, amid four screaming kids, the father dreams of swallowing.
There are the very young of twenty-five,...
..flexible and dynamic, they fear nothing.
Their kids climb on perilous reefs, go to school alone, are responsible and mature.
But there are none of these in Italy.
And then there's us.
Fifteen years ago, with our professions, we'd have said "privileged";...
..today, like everyone, we're struggling with the difficulties of our time.
We have satellite TV, but the IRS can knock at any time.
We're lucky, not rich, simple but not elementary, neurotic, but not crazy.
The future is hopeful but has snares.
Our homes are comfortable, but small and have one bath.
- I love you. - I love you.
We conceived Pietro at a hopeful time in our lives.
Lives can be complicated in the present, but in our memories they become beautiful.
It seemed feasible with our first child.
Anna was sweet, flexible, she slept, we took her everywhere...
..and despite new family balances, we mistakenly felt we were ourselves.
It's nice, after plowing through the first 180 pages, it flows.
Why are cooking times for these cool pastas always hidden?
The epitome of chic, but it doesn't say.
Taste it, like in the old days.
Please, lower the music!
A big hand for Andrea!
Andrea is the protagonist of a sensational event.
Truly sensational and now he'll tell us.
- No, I'm embarrassed. - He's shy, I'll tell you.
Andrea has squared his account with the IRS.
How much?
- No! - Embarrassed? Tell me.
Really?
Okay... would you say a few words?
Well...
When my taxes came, I thought I was finished,...
..everything, no clue.
Then, month after month, deadline after deadline,...
..without thinking of the balance to pay, a step at a time,...
..I did it!
I paid the last one!
Wait!
I want to say, to those of you...
..in a similar situation, and I'm sure there are many,...
..I want to tell you, guys, you can see daylight,...
..a step at a time, you can see daylight!
Towards freedom!
See? You did it. Music. So, when will I get that money back?
Let's go, honey.
Put this on her.
- Goodbye. - See you.
Turn right.
Go!
You devil!
Now we'll just check the procedures for conformity and survey the kitchen.
This isn't an inspection, we're not Health Inspectors,...
..we'll just simulate an official inspection to avoid fines in case of an inspection,...
..we're here for you, for your customers and the entire community.
Get used to it.
They're all like this.
This job will make you see...
..the lack of love this country is capable of.
The nausea isn't for this smell, is it?
Oh!
Is everything okay? Eh?
Do you love me?
- You're pregnant? - Yes.
It's fantastic news!
- Are you sure it's a good idea? - It's wonderful, Sara.
- It's such a mess. - Not at all!
It's heroic, in this country of zero growth. No one has kids anymore.
- There must be a reason. - We'll give a strong signal, I want to shout it.
- We're having another kid! - Who gives...?
Because we still believe in this country.
Nicola, be quiet!
We have experience from the first, it's gonna be okay.
- Boy or girl? - How do I know!
- What would you like? - I don't know. - Let's go home?
Tell me again it's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.
- I heard. When did it happen? - A couple of weeks ago.
- I'm so sorry. - No, actually...
I tell everyone to stop at the first kid.
I put it on social media,...
..I wrote an article, I shouted it around the neighborhood.
- C'mon, in the end... - No, dammit, Nicola!
No, not at all!
Okay...
I'm here for you.
Thanks.
Bye.
Let's go home.
- Hurry! - Careful.
I don't remember a thing.
- Diapers, nursing, salves... - Me, neither.
Chapter 1 SLEEP
Can I sleep here, too?
Sweetie, we won't all fit.
He'll be with us only at first, like you were.
Then he'll be with you.
Was another kid really necessary? We were all just fine.
You'll see, it will all work out.
Couldn't he stay in the hospital? They were all so nice.
- Anna, we had him for you too. - For me?
You're too young now to understand, but Pietro will bring balance.
The three of us were fine together, why did you change everything?
You're both a mess, especially you, Daddy.
Why? Listen to her!
An immediate tickling.
- In silence or you'll wake him. - You'll wake him.
No tickling, please!
Stop.
It's a beautiful thing.
It's normal you don't see it as beautiful.
Look, come here. I'll show you something.
So...
This...
..is Mommy's heart as it was before.
MOMMY, DADDY, ANNA.
And this is Mommy's heart...
..now.
It's a much bigger heart.
MOMMY, DADDY, ANNA, PIETRO
- There's more room for everyone. - Can I keep it? - It's for you.
- Let's go to bed. - A kiss.
- Say good night to your brother. - Night.
Come here.
- Fine, right? - What? - Are you happy? - Yes.
- There's a nice atmosphere. - Yes.
The country too lately,...
..I feel it expresses, now and then...
- Let's not exaggerate. - No, right.
The first three months were the calm before the storm.
The baby slept, nights were peaceful, things went smoothly.
Except for the first signs of disparity, in the morning before going to work.
- Leather working became widespread... - Sorry, I was distracted.
- So, earthenware pottery... - Jewelry, clothes and sculptures.
You said them all, sorry.
In the forests of the East, leather working became widespread,...
..the decorating of vases, bags, belts, among which, those with symbolic designs.
Also the art of wooden masks for religious purposes...
..portraying demons and spirits...
If I'd been a wise Indian chieftain, I'd have felt the storm coming.
Excellent! Put this in your schoolbag and let's go.
Bye, darling. Let's go, Anna!
- Be back soon? - Of course.
- Not going for cigarettes? - No!
Say bye to Mommy. - Bye.
Bye. Let's jump!
The storm came in the third month.
The baby had a growth spurt.
He changed his rhythm, re-regulated the flow of milk,...
..broke his nursing balance and threw his mom for a loop.
In a word, he said: "I'm here".
BY AGREEMENT, IN PLACE OF THE BABY'S CRYING,
BEETHOVEN'S SONATA NO. 8 "PATHETIQUE"
Little love! What's happening, come here.
No, no, no...
No, no.
What a blow I got!
- A tremendous blow. - Ssh.
Lord!
No, little love, don't cry.
- What's happening? - Nothing, everything's fine.
- It's all okay. - Everything's fine, go back to bed.
- It's normal. - Tell me what's happening?
- He's crying, it's normal. - Why's he crying like crazy?
It's normal, don't worry. Take Anna to bed?
- We're going. - Then go! - What a blow!
Nicola, why are you just standing there? - What?
Oh, honey!
Want one?
It'll be okay, just a moment of transition.
Right, sweetie?
Anna's going to school with Luigi, they'll pick her up.
In ten minutes.
- Bye, honey. - Bye.
Fuck off!
I'll have mozzarella and...
- And? - And...
- Arugula and salmon? - No.
With the first child you have incredible energy,...
..you gave life, you feel like a demigod.
This new sensation compensates for the sleepless nights,...
..the inhuman effort required.
- Mozzarella and... - And anchovies? - Too salty, I can't sleep.
With the second, the same effort bursts in your face, you'd underestimated it...
..and it's no longer compensated by that divine euphoria.
The second kid's a shock.
Mozzarella, tomato confit and wild herbs.
- No, good heavens! - No, uh?
Ditch the family, ditch it all.
Say you're crazy, do two months in Psychiatry and you're free.
- Mozzarella and... - And stop, huh?
Mozzarella and stop. Good man, it was easy! Mozzarella and stop.
Let's do this.
Darling? Hello?
What is it? Yes. Just tell me.
I can't hear you... Yeah. Go.
Valpasin. Dobrecin. Drops?
When your kid hasn't slept for weeks, doesn't eat, it's a time bomb...
Oh!
..You have to find someone to help.
Why's he screaming like that? No, good heavens!
That someone is the pediatrician.
Generally, out of guilt, you choose the most expensive.
The one they say is tops, a guru.
Chapter 2 THE PEDIATRICIAN GURU
Art works around the office are typical of the pediatrician guru,...
..rich detail, Persian rugs, velvet drapes.
Hello.
The aim is to have you see what the furnishings cost...
..so you'll understand what the return must be.
My God.
You should listen.
It sounds very difficult, but if you reflect, it's also simple.
The pediatrician guru says elementary things that never crossed your mind.
Not sleeping, not eating, is perhaps his only way to be heard.
And you cry, moved either by the simplicity and power of those words...
..or by the imagined cost of the visit.
Sorry, I don't know why I feel like crying.
Now I'll make all those faces we make when we're trying not to cry.
Don't worry.
Thanks.
May I?
It's been only three months but I feel my husband has stopped seeing me.
For some psychoanalytical reason, in front of the pediatrician guru,...
..we say things that we don't at home.
It's like I were a function for him:...
..just the mother of his children.
Actually I don't feel equal to the task.
I don't feel equal to the task either.
- I'm such scum! - Yes.
You should each try putting yourselves in the other's shoes.
And you must spend more time with the baby.
How? Nicola works and I'm soon going back to work myself.
Then the pediatrician guru takes a quantum leap.
No, not work. Think up something, work can wait.
- Like what? - Don't you have an income?
A house to rent on the beach, in the mountains?
An income, a monthly revenue.
Don't we have a house in the mountains to rent? Eh?
No...
Find an income, give up work and spend more time with him.
An income, you say.
Meanwhile, I'll prescribe something for the baby.
- I'll see you in a month. - Thank you.
- Good, isn't she? - Dunno.
She seemed extremely well-prepared. Almost two hundred euros!
Ever notice you always agree with the last person you talk to?
- Especially if he's expensive. - I notice you get aggressive.
- No, I'm very calm. - You were moved too.
Maybe because I'm stressed out.
- What about the money? - We'll find a way.
We need someone to stay with the baby at least in the morning.
We can ask my mother.
I have to get back to work or we can't pay the rent.
Things are fine, okay? C'mon!
That's 329 euros.
The prescription... don't lose it!
Here.
And God saw that Man wasn't suffering enough.
And so he created the mother-in-law.
We'll now be together for 20 years.
And although you think you make all the decisions,...
..deep down, you'll see that my opinion weighs like a millstone.
Chapter 3 THE IN-LAWS
Honey, I can't.
- Mom! - I'd love to, but I can't.
I already take Anna to all her activities in the afternoon.
I even keep her in the evening when I can.
- But why? - I don't have the strength.
- You go swimming every day. - If you knew the energy it costs!
It would be very important for us.
- Promise you'll think it over. - No.
And Dad?
We just can't handle it, don't you see?
I have an article on grandparents being saddled with their grandchildren.
- Oh, my God... - Why are you so angry?
Because your generation ate up everything.
You were born postwar, a childhood in a generous family network,...
..you enjoyed the economic boom,...
..you accumulated and squandered in the '80s and '90s,...
..believing well-being would last forever.
You didn't think about future generations and you still don't.
Today, with a pension you'll be the last to enjoy,...
..you revel in your first and second houses.
You make vacation plans, invest in stocks, take out twenty-year loans.
You get impeccable check-ups, enjoy social media...
..and especially, you believe in a future you'll be the last to have...
..because you no longer die off!
Okay...
You have to understand something, once and for all.
We elderly are a strength,...
..silent and calm, but if we get pissed off, it's trouble.
Because there are more of us. We're a great number.
For every 100 young people, there are 165 elderly,...
..meaning, an absolute majority:...
..virtually, Congress, Senate and Government.
We have the TV, conditioning show-planning and editorials.
The Song Festival is done for us. As are the big national TV series.
The advertisers that make the world turn, are obsessed with us.
The houses and savings accounts that support the entire economy...
..and without which we'd close shop like Greece, are in our hands.
Theater, what's left of cinema hang on thanks to us.
Our pensions hold hostage the entire national economy.
All we lack is awareness and cohesiveness...
..and we're ready to screw them all!
DEMOCRACY THE ONLY WAY!
Like to go?
What your mother says is true, she's right.
- Should I worry? - Those guys will screw us all.
We'll find a solution, don't worry.
We have dinner with Dad tomorrow, we'll talk, it's gonna be okay.
I can't help you, I don't understand what the baby says.
He's 3 months old, doesn't talk. "I don't understand what he says..."
He's always got a cold.
- I can stay with him, but you have to take care of his needs. - Of course.
If only Mom were still here! That damned diet took her away.
You'd been separated for 35 years!
- That diet killed her! - Just the opposite.
If she done the diet, she'd still be alive.
Here we are! Come here.
- Beautiful Come here, darling. - Coming, dear.
- See my priest friend, Busta? - Yes.
- He didn't eat gluten for a month. - Oh!
He got a tumor.
And God saw that Woman wasn't suffering enough either...
..and so, he created both the father-in-law...
..and Brazilian music.
Hear that rhythm? Doesn't it grab you? Listen!
In the 1980s we couldn't decide if buying a house at the beach,...
..whose value quintupled in these 30 years,...
..or here in the Tuscia countryside whose value dropped 90 % in the same period.
We had no doubts.
Should that make us unhappy? No way, long live the countryside!
Long live the countryside!
- Hear the shots? Hunters. - Eh...
If you could see the enthusiasm.
They drink, so now and then someone gets killed.
- They shoot each other, but by mistake! - Ah...
- They're an enormous resource for our territory. - True!
I'll take advantage of this nice moment to make an announcement.
Angelina and I...
..want a child.
- We're working on it, right? - Yes.
- Hurray! - Hurray! - Hurray!
Thank you.
We'll call him Cabo, like his father.
Cabo Jr.
Be close to us, help us.
Especially you young people, who have strength,...
..energy, free time.
Right.
Hurray! - Long live the countryside, long live us all!
Chapter 4 JOSEPHINA
Not having revenue as the wealthy pediatrician thought,...
..having to work, unable to count on grandparents,...
..there was just one answer to all our problems.
Josephina.
Josephina is fun, reliable, creative,...
..you needn't explain anything to her, she finds things in the house on her own,...
..she adores children, children adore her, she's in love with her job.
According to Victor Turner, ritual has its roots in social drama...
..which reveals the most concrete aspects of social life.
Josephina has just one big problem.
She doesn't exist.
In her place, a series of dubious babysitters come to the door.
The African who only speaks Wolof.
Inps, spaghetti, up yours...
The unemployed college graduate.
The young sex maniac.
I adore dads without beards.
And other monsters you've seen in headlines.
Smoking's okay, right?
My name is Manuela, I'm 35.
I've already done babysitting, the baby was 16,...
..and I helped get him off drugs.
My name's Erica, I'm 22.
I just love children.
Especially when they're sleeping.
I'd do anything to see them sleep.
Out of exhaustion, we chose the worst,...
..a farm girl with no experience, so to entertain the kids...
..she proposed just one thing.
I cook them a "roached" egg.
Before dinner, eight drops of sub-lingual antihistamine.
Under the tongue...
Before bed, a nasal wash, we brush our teeth, don't forget.
Hear your mommy? Don't be a rascal.
Then to bed, 9:30 at the latest.
Understand, dear? Don't be a rascal. Listen to your mommy?
- Thank you - Bye, sweetie.
- Good evening. - We thank you. Bye, sweetie.
I don't want a "roached" egg, I'm scared.
Of what?
Sweetie, don't worry, it's gonna be okay.
- Watch a movie. - "Titanic"?
Again? Isn't it too sad?
- I really like it. - Ok... - If you like it...
Come here, little one! Come here, we'll make a "roached" egg.
A "roached" egg.
Let's go there.
- It's our first time out since when? - Since forever.
- Tell me what we'll do tonight. - Everything. - What a thrill!
Help!
- I'd really like to go home. - I know.
- We can't, right? - Unfortunately not.
- What time is it? - Eh? - What time is it?
9:40.
- What did we do to deserve this? - I don't know.
We have to stay out and have fun at all costs.
- Hungry? - No.
I like this restaurant, it's old,...
..the old waitresses still like their work.
- Have you inspected it? - Twice.
- What's it like? - Perfect, that's why we're here.
- I have to say something tremendous. - What?
- I'm embarrassed. - Say it.
- It's not easy. - Say it.
- I miss them like crazy. - Me too, so much.
What can we do?
- Let's look at their pictures. - Okay.
- Look at this. - Sweetie! You're so beautiful!
Darling!
See how pretty Anna is here.
- What are they doing now? - A "roached" egg.
- Let's go home. - No.
- How long do we have to stay out? - At least till midnight.
Lord!
Okay, wake me in ten minutes?
- Good evening. - Good evening.
The baby woke up just once. I gave him some milk and he went back to sleep.
- The little girl watched "Titanic", but she's still crying. - Really?
The little girl is suffering, she's jealous, pay attention to her.
- Yes... - My sister ruined my life, even today I'd like to kill her.
- Ok... - She got all the - "You're so pretty, you're so tiny..."
- I felt like the pits. - Thank you, has Anna eaten?
- An egg. - "Roached"?
- "Roached". - Thank you.
You're still awake? You have school tomorrow.
Tomorrow's Sunday.
- Why are you crying? Eh? - Huh?
Will you tell me?
I knew this movie was too sad.
Sweetheart...
- Sweetheart! - Hey.
Here's what we'll do.
Let's draw the Titanic on April 16, 1912.
The day after the sinking but perfectly integral,
as it's sailing peacefully.
We'll imagine the Titanic never sank?
Can I sleep in the big bed?
Chapter 5 SUNDAY
Oh, no, stop! Stop.
He has a high fever.
- Oh, no... - Please get some water?
Oh God, what did I do to myself!
Oh no! I hurt myself really badly.
- Gentle, though! What are you doing? - Yes.
- I'll pull it out, on three. - It already hurts, careful and fast.
One, two, three.
- Look. - Very nice!
It's the Titanic the day after it sank. It's sailing calmly.
Go open the door, it's Grandpa. - Okay.
The problem isn't my baby brother, they can have another two.
- I have a personal problem with him. - Why?
He cries all the time, even with no reason. - Why does he cry?
He wants everyone around him and when everyone's around him, know what he does?
- What? - He keeps crying.
That's a real problem.
Don't let him fool you, never be alone with him.
Thank you for the advice.
- You're welcome. - I have something for you.
Here, honey, open it.
- What is it? - Look.
- A cuckoo clock! - Yes! Isn't it beautiful?
Listen how it goes.
- It's beautiful. - You're right, it's beautiful.
Why are you so short of breath?
No, it's normal breathing.
Nicola, I'm going out today.
Meaning?
I'm spending the day with Federica, she has to talk to me.
About what?
Are you capable of staying one day with the baby?
- You're father's here too. - Don't count on me.
I'll watch the baby when he can talk, he'll say he's hungry, thirsty...
..and he always has a cold.
Of course, I am.
We could ask Federica to come here, couldn't we?
Today it might be nice to be all together.
You stay all together since you're never here.
Why do you always say that, as if I spent my days playing pool?
If you did, we wouldn't be together at all.
- You understand what I mean. - No, I don't.)
That's the point, we don't understand one another.
I need to breathe.
I'm in here all day, I can't take any more, I have to go out.
You're scared of being alone with the baby,...
..since you never are you don't know how, and that makes me mad.
I have zero fear.
- You're short of breath. - No. - You do.
Can we make tea and spend the afternoon all together?
Your only contribution is work.
Sorry! Sorry, if I bust my butt so we don't sink.
- I apologize. - How I envy you.
I'd like to work all day while you nurse and take care of the baby.
Half and half, like we've always said.
Want us to argue today too, should I start yelling?
- Sara... - Bye.
It's not nice to leave on a bad note.
This bitch won't go in!
- Want a hand, dad? Huh? - No.
- Why? Why! - Ok. - What's okay? - Stay calm.
- Be good, Pietro. - Let's stay calm.
Go see him, get used to it.
- What's he doing? - Crying.
Can you understand him or does he have to talk?
I'm left with this one screw, that means I forgot something. I made a mistake.
- So? - Let's hope it holds.
- I can't reassemble the whole thing. - No.
Bye, son.
What the fuck, though!
Look.
Do you realize little Pietro will have a best friend.
- Who's his uncle. - Yes, his uncle!
His uncle!
Anna, sweetie? Be with me today.
It's me, you and the little delinquent, are you happy?
- But I have a party. - What do you have?
It's Giorgia's party, you've known for days.
You can't have a teenager's life already.
Your social life is more intense than ours.
Parties, pizzas, pajama parties, sports events, Pilates, c'mon!
- You're envious. - Yes, I am. Come here.
- No tickling. - You'll make it worse. - C'mon!
It's them!
I'm coming.
Bye, huh? Not even bye.
Not even bye.
Up we come.
What is it?
Look.
I was wondering if you'd like to come for coffee.
- An herbal tea... - You're alone with the baby?
No way, no!
Oh, you shit!
Okay, it's me and him, but things are fine.
- I'd like to see you. - Sure... but I can't.
- I'm seeing the urologist. - It's Sunday!
Hey?
He hung up.
Okay, listen to me, my son.
Listen, it's an awful tough day for us, huh?
It's called "situation of peril".
But if you don't mess up and we stick together,...
..we'll get through this and it'll bring us together forever.
What do you say?
Good boy. Ssh... Good boy.
Good boy.
There was someone who made you up, inflatables, salami sandwiches.
You're sure you want just small pasta? - Yes, I'm not very hungry.
Here, it's ready. It's ready, bibsy.
A complete meal includes fruit.
Fruit, not up for it? He's not up for it.
"He asked his cousin Eddie if he could hold his teddy.
The teddy said hello... to Grandpa Joe.
Old cyclops says not a word as home he leads his herd."
You're a big man, Nico!
- Let's drive around again, Federica, please. - It's useless.
- C'mon, it's gonna be okay. - I don't want to go in, I'm not happy.
Bye.
- How are you? - Fine. You? - Fine.
Well, I tidied the living room, Dad had left a mess,...
..the baby ate, I washed and changed him, he took his drops.
Anna came back at 8:30, she ate too, different menu,...
..then she made some fuss, so, like when she was little,...
..I read her "The Cyclops Family".
They're neurotic like us, but they react like...
- Anyway, they're both asleep. - Good.
Well?
What?
Nothing to say?
Should I say you're great?
- For example. - Why?
- Maybe because it's true? - Do you tell me that?
You did what I do everyday without blinking and without being told I'm great.
I always say you're great.
- Never. - Always.
- What's this ridiculous outfit? - What outfit?
This super hero outfit, you're ridiculous.
I have no outfit.
You think that because I'm the mom,...
..doing all these things that make you feel like a super hero,...
..come natural to me, they're easy, give me pleasure.
- There's nothing wrong with that. - Screw you.
You fly right off the handle.
Centuries of male supremacy have formatted us forever.
Equality, my ass, 50/50, my ass!
We don't need to be ideologically inverted. Why shouldn't you be happy to be a mother?
I want to work, make something of myself, travel, screw, be happy.
I'm not even sure I love you. I'm in a shambles, I can't even remember why I'm with you.
I heard you're having problems with your son.
- Meaning? - You're not right, you complain.
Who are you?
You always want to know everything, give a name to things,...
..I'm here to help you.
C'mon, tell me what the fuck's going on?
It's a little hard keeping things together, that's it.
- With two kids? - Yes. We feel, how can I put it...
..alone.
Yes.
Meaning?
Well,...
..our parents' generation didn't give a damn about anything,...
..they raised us as it came,...
..without giving us the tools to be good parents ourselves.
So, we swing between trying not to make their mistakes...
..and the inevitable application of their educational model.
- See? - Wow, how brainy!
- Right? - Yes! - Why?
What a likeable person you are. Coffee? I've just made some.
With a drop of milk, thank you.
- Does the older one give you problems? - No.
Well, it all seems okay.
Some people live in five in less than 50 square meters.
Families who can't make ends meet, kids who push drugs.
- What's the problem? - It's all relative.
Up to a certain point... Thank you.
What's this, the old adage that many are worse off than us?
Huh?
I can do something for you.
For example?
I can make your baby disappear if you don't want him anymore.
Are you a wizard?
You always want to understand everything, with your western mind.
- Coffee's good! - Thank you.
Everything can change in life.
- You don't like that picture of your ancestor, right? - Right.
- But that... - And that shit chandelier?
- And the baby? - No!
No!
Chapter 6 THE RULES
- Me, the pool, Anna, Wednesday, right? - Mmh.
Then... Take to school, me all week.
- Me, groceries on Thursday. - Mmh.
- And me, the babysitter this week. - Right? - Yes.
CLASS CHAT
- I can't do the class chat. - It's your item.
I can't fit it in!
I'd hoped it would never get to this, but...
Then what's the use?
Hello, I'm calling about the vaccination. Eight months.
Okay for everything.
CLASS CHAT
We've stopped arguing over the rules, but it's all cold.
Today's our free evening.
Huh... It's Thursday!
Yes.
The saddest thing in the world is couples in a restaurant...
..who dine without saying a word, isn't it?
Wouldn't you like to go see your friends tonight?
- Maybe I would. - Well, okay.
Are you ready? My spirit is, not my body.
- Give me time. - Everyone would like some.
The most intimate, personal, elusive thing we all have,...
..the remote control.
Do you understand anything?
I don't think so, it's different from mine.
Exactly, we have identical apartments, cars, television sets,...
..but the remote controls are all different.
Can't do it.
The knight is down there, playing chess.
I see that too, what's so terrible about it?
- Can't you see his adversary? - He likes being alone. Why scare me like that?
- It's not true he's alone. - Who's he with? - Death.
- What a scare! - Never again, huh?
- You promised we'd always be together. - It's that damned schedule board.
It's even okay, but it robs us of an important thing, chance.
You're right. You're right.
Do you agree because I'm the last person you talked to?
Yes, maybe.
Good evening.
- We've been really fine. - Great.
We made a "roached" egg, now they're sleeping peacefully.
I'll take you home.
2 JUNE 2009 - AIRBUS 447
TWIN TOWERS 12 SEPTEMBER 2009
1 MARCH 2019
Anna drew our family,...
..with today's date, but without Pietro.
We're doing things all wrong with her.
Me, with them both.
What would these people's' parents say, seeing them unhappy and tormented?
Would they ever have imagined their kids,...
..who once ran on grass and skinned their knees on gravel,...
..would have rotted on Bus 48 to go earn peanuts doing a job they don't love?
What's the sense? What do we want? What do we believe in?
Are we a country, a community? What's the sense of life?
Why do we have kids?
- Careful. - What?
- Careful. - What did you say? - Careful!
- I'll bust your ass. - You'll do what? - I'll bust your ass.
- I don't understand. - Can't hear? I'll bust your ass.
- You? I'll bust your ass! - Oh!
- You'll do what? Repeat that. - No, you'll do what?
- You repeat that. - Repeat what you said.
- You to me?
- You repeat. - Oh, no. I'll bust your ass.
Conflicts can often be reduced to problems of communication.
Communicating is the most difficult thing.
You'll see, when Pietro can talk, you'll become friends.
He'll always protect you and you'll want to protect him.
I saw your drawing of our family.
Yes, because...
..if tragedies can really be canceled by drawing...
..then I canceled him.
Do you trust mommy?
Believe me, you'll soon change your mind about him.
You'll play together, invent fantastic things,...
..it's easier to make fun of your parents.
You'll be allies against us.
But I'll always find you out.
- I don't think so. - I really do.
- No. - Yes! - No!
Can I have a hug?
What did you say? Tell me what you said, repeat it.
You won't? Oh, ok.
No, you...
chapter 7 THE CRISIS
Aunts, dogs, cousins, grannies, tables piled with food,...
..it was the enlarged family.
A great family network...
- Listening to me? - Sure.
He always does things later. "I'll do it later".
He always has all the world's ills, I never have crap.
I ask him to get something? He can never find it.
It's right under his nose, he can't see it: "It's not here".
Kids expect their parents to be anchors. Careful, this jackass is gonna shoot.
Ow! Eugenio! I'll kill you, by God!
What was I saying?
Disgusting! What is it?
A dormouse.
- What's a dormouse? - A dormouse is a dormouse.
- You eat it? - Except the teeth.
Listen,...
..I believe we all...
..have to develop a sense of community.
We have to see that we're united, we're not enemies.
The problem isn't the dormouse,...
..but this kitchen is in disastrous conditions,...
..the areas are dirty, the food's preserved badly.
It's not only dangerous, it's also very sad.
Besides, recently my wife's been having a serious problem with her head.
What problem?
Huh? - Something neurological, she has to do a CAT scan.
- I'm sorry, I didn't know. - Happens.
Meaning?
She doesn't see what I do.
She doesn't realize the incredible effort I make at home.
She doesn't acknowledge it, doesn't see it. It's clearly something with the brain.
- Sara, exactly the same. - See?
- Mine, too. - Mine too, she just criticizes.
An MRI is a good idea.
See? He shoots!
I think it's my fault.
For how I was raised, for how my dad was at home.
Maybe I can't keep the pace, although I think I do so much.
Doing "so much" is always compared to an imagined average of fathers who do nothing.
I wasn't raised to take care of others.
- What's your name, sweetie? - Pietro.
What interesting things have you done today?
- We took a walk. - A walk?
You're such a good boy! Where?
- To the park. - You went to the park!
So, you had fun.
He can't talk, he's just a few months old.
- Can't talk, little one? When's your birthday? - No, huh?
Did you tell mommy and daddy what cake you want? And the gifts you want?
I bet you asked for lots of gifts!
- The cake will have lots of candles. - No, not many.
- He's not even a year old. - Did you tell mum and dad...
Fuck off!
- Do you like chocolate? - Oh, yes...
- What is it? - I have to tell you something.
There's another man?
Tuesday's Daniel's birthday, there's a party in a party factory.
Then a dinner for carnival with the parents of Anna's class.
It's really important to her and we have to go.
A dinner for carnival?
- Yes. - In costume? - Yes.
- Do you love me? - Yes, dammit!
- You know I don't know? - Don't worry.
- Sorry, I'm so tired. - It'll pass.
- It will? - I don't know.
All parents suffer a crisis sooner or later.
Yes!
- I want Leticia and Jhun! - Sweetie, they're on vacation.
- I don't want you, I want them! - Honey, they're in the Philippines.
I don't want you, I want to go to Manila! I want mommy Leticia!
You shit!
Your son's asking for you and you're here having sex with a no-good Venetian.
Actually, Samantha's from Friuli.
We each experience the crisis our own way.
But all parents have one thing in common.
In a country where we all hate everyone, at work, in politics,...
..in condominium meetings,...
..the distress level can be seen by the small things.
Like the odd, incontestable freedom to use a certain violence...
..when cleaning a child's mouth.
After two swipes, the next one is harsh, violent.
Fathers, mothers, grandmothers, at the third swipe, pull out a certain anger,...
..like saying: "Kid, you're a pain in the ass".
Whatever we encounter in there,...
..we have more chance of survival if we stick together.
- Okay. - Okay.
Let's leave, what are we doing here?
Are you crazy? Over my dead body. Let's go.
Anna, how about a nice ice cream cone? - No.
- A fun fair? - No.
- Euro Disney Paris, we'll leave tonight. - Don't worry Dad, we're here.
For some mysterious reason...
..party factories are always managed by convicted felons.
Oh!
There are 300 children in five or six parties playing in different adjacent areas.
So, for a child to get lost and be kidnapped by one of the delinquents...
..is a plausible scenario.
- This was a fucking stupid thing to do. - Anna, You'll get hurt!
Friends used to meet over dinner, in clubs,...
..now, at the drugstore or places like this.
- Look! - Pay attention, Anna!
- What's happened to us? - You're right.
It's a disaster.
I think if Italy is at zero growth levels, there must be a reason.
Always putting Italians down...
..instead they've discovered, before others,...
..that having kids is a screw-up.
We should lay bets on food service and death.
But the two combined. The key is to destroy ourselves.
Knock ourselves out with plates of lasagna.
See that guy? He, before others, understood that principle.
- Which guy? - That guy. - Which one? - That guy!
- That's Farinetti! - They're the gurus of our times.
They see what we don't. Inserisci solo
- Don't you have a deli? - Yeah.
Good, he's the father of my daughter's friend, I'll introduce you.
Shh. Hold still!
I understand, you're good.
I'll drop by. - We want to grow.
Why don't we go outside? I can't hear a thing. - I can't, my daughter's here.
Come over to Eataly, we can talk.
- What? - It's a nightmare. - Eataly is a nightmare?
It's a horrible thing, emblematic of our times.
Something must have happened.
Suddenly, his face changed and he walked away.
There was such a ruckus... But he was nice.
Want me to push? Huh?
What was it? Let's stick together?
The grill is everything and we owe everything to the grill.
- Know why? Nicola, right? - Yeah.
In prehistoric times, Man's huge step was when he started cooking meat.
Dinner became a moment of sociability, Man's jaw changed...
..he no longer had to rip off hunks of meat to nourish himself...
..and he started to talk.
We owe everything to the barbecue.
Like the lemon tree, if you want it to bear fruit, you have to beat it.
You start at the base of the trunk and... Pem! Pem!
Then move up, not all the way obviously, it's too high. Pem! Pem! Pem! Oh?
Bio is dead, bio doesn't exist, bio my ass. Look.
- Mommy, I'm thirsty. - Yes.
- Taste these tomatoes, they come from the farm. - I'll eat them later.
- Just taste. - We've had desert.
In fact, they're sweet, taste them.
- Excuse me. - Good? Don't throw it out.
- I'll take him for some air. - Better not to.
- Why? - He's not used to it.
1920, Henry Ford made a car of hemp.
Steering wheel, dashboard, chassis of hemp. It ran on grain alcohol.
- Guess what he did? - He smoked it? - No.
The Americans bought the patent for the fuel and made it disappear.
- Excuse-me. - Okay.
- Sorry! Where are you going? - To breathe.
Single mother, you go to breathe and toss the kid in the stroller?
- I tossed the kid in the stroller? - Didn't you?
When the crisis appears irreversible, various scenarios open.
You have no idea what responsibility means.
You don't know the ones I take on.
You don't hear me? Because you never do.
You don't hear me! You never listen to me.
You've never been there, your kids don't know you.
- That's not true! - Reveal yourself!
I assume my responsibilities but you don't see them,...
..there's just you, your mother and the devil take you, sorry, Your Honor.
You're an amoeba, always on the couch. I don't see you, you're an ectoplasm.
I DON'T SEE YOU BECAUSE YOU DON'T EXIST, GODDAMMIT!
- You don't see me. - You don't see me. - I'll jump!
Some don't decide anything and keep arguing,...
..raising the temperature higher and ruining their kids' lives.
Some decide to return home later and later.
THE ADVENTURES OF ALICE IN WONDERLAND
And then, some try to stay.
The baby will start to calm down when you do.
Chapter 8 THE LITTLE THINGS
If you're not frustrated, he won't be.
He's what you are,...
..and will be what you decide to be.
You made him,...
..he represents, puts on stage,...
..your relationship.
That's why you must give yourselves peace.
So, he'll also give you peace.
When you put him to sleep, if you hold him in nervous arms...
..because you have to go out or something,...
..looking at the time continuously, he won't fall asleep.
But if you try to breathe, be relaxed,...
..even find pleasure in putting him to sleep,...
..without counting the minutes, being with him,...
..you'll look at him and he'll already be sleeping.
The same thing for the older one.
If you accept the baby, she will too.
You have to move to acceptance, you have to accept him.
Things can change only if first you accept them.
It's the same for everything.
For your country, your Party, your family.
Learn to accept.
Learn to stay.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- They're delicious. - Thank you.
I love small things. They're the hardest to do, they speak of care.
You prove that managing a restaurant with love and care can be done.
They're the best meatballs in the world.
I woke with a desire for meatballs this morning.
- It must be the first cravings. - Because...
- Yes, I'm pregnant. - Congratulations! - Thank you.
- Is it the first? - The second.
- I also have two. - What's it like? Can it be managed?
Yes, it can.
Hi.
Hi, honey. - Hi, Mommy.
- Hi, how are you? - Fine, you? - Fine. How were things?
- Fine! The kids? - Great.
- Did you give Pietro his medicine? - Oh Lord! No.
No matter, I will, where are they?
- Where are they? - I asked that. Looking among the CDs?
Sorry...
Did you buy them? I asked you to buy them, remember? - I'm off.
- I remember, you said in the afternoon. - No, morning.
We both saw the pediatrician, I shouldn't be the only one to remember.
We both have to remember.
- Don't grumble. - I'm not grumbling.
- You grumbled. - No!
- You grumbled. - What a pain! Yes, I grumbled! You know the day I had?
Want to know mine?
I asked if you wanted to know mine. Should we first talk about yours?
- What did you do today? - The dishwasher, they all saw me.
- Screw you. - You fly right off the handle.
If there's something to do, you always do it later...
We do things together, we do everything together!
- You do things after I already have. - Why do you do things right away?