1 00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:30,320 ♪ Beneath the moon ♪ 2 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:34,534 ♪ And starry sky ♪ 3 00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:39,079 ♪ Heaven writes A lover's song ♪ 4 00:00:39,079 --> 00:00:42,124 ♪ Writes a song ♪ 5 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:45,587 ♪ A reverie ♪ 6 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:49,966 ♪ Of happy dreams ♪ 7 00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:55,764 ♪ Midnight comes The nightingale sings along ♪ 8 00:00:57,473 --> 00:01:00,726 ♪ Melody ♪ 9 00:01:00,726 --> 00:01:05,064 ♪ With harmony ♪ 10 00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:11,070 ♪ Makes a lover tune ♪ 11 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:15,784 ♪ The night will play ♪ 12 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:21,790 ♪ Its serenade to you ♪ 13 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:27,003 ♪ Love writes a rhyme ♪ 14 00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:30,673 ♪ And gentle we find ♪ 15 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:37,514 ♪ Magic and beauty begin Or begun ♪ 16 00:01:37,513 --> 00:01:41,517 ♪ Dance until morning ♪ 17 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:46,898 ♪ Drift along ♪ 18 00:01:49,316 --> 00:01:53,445 -♪ Listen ♪ -♪ Listen ♪ 19 00:01:53,445 --> 00:01:59,451 ♪ And you'll hear a song ♪ 20 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,920 Once upon a time in a magical kingdom 21 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:10,879 known as New York City, 22 00:02:10,879 --> 00:02:14,341 in a city that doesn't sleep, but sleeps around a lot, 23 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:17,679 a land of dollar pizza and crowded subways, 24 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,472 there lived two millennials 25 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:22,559 cursed with the paradox of choice. 26 00:02:22,558 --> 00:02:26,103 Like many stories, ours begins on a phone screen 27 00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:28,940 on the latest dating app called Meet Cute. 28 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:34,279 She was Wendy Brinkley, a name derived from the character 29 00:02:34,278 --> 00:02:36,739 who dated the boy who never grew up. 30 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,409 Wendy scoured her albums for a photo 31 00:02:39,408 --> 00:02:42,286 that didn't include necks... 32 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:46,499 and cautiously accepted her new destiny. 33 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:53,922 Then there was Milo Marks 34 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:57,218 and his 77 unread text messages. 35 00:02:57,217 --> 00:02:59,678 To Milo, Meet Cute was just another app 36 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,473 for his dedicated folder. 37 00:03:03,307 --> 00:03:05,351 Milo was a 5'8"... 38 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,729 10? 39 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,856 5'8", born-and-raised New Yorker 40 00:03:09,855 --> 00:03:11,899 who had no shortage of selfies 41 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,652 that he justified as self-love. 42 00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:16,570 The app asked you a few questions, 43 00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:18,864 then wrote your own personal love story. 44 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:27,624 Romantically, Milo knew what he wanted, 45 00:03:27,623 --> 00:03:32,044 as did Wendy, but she was too afraid to admit it. 46 00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:34,129 They had nothing in common, 47 00:03:34,129 --> 00:03:37,966 except an idealized version of modern romance. 48 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,803 With their profiles set, 49 00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:43,514 they swiped left, they swiped right. 50 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:47,935 But one day, thanks to some magic and an algorithm, 51 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,313 they had their Meet Cute. 52 00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:53,565 They met at a cute little spot 53 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,610 in the West Village called Lylis. 54 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,279 Milo found it on the Infatuation's list 55 00:03:58,278 --> 00:04:01,073 of best bars where you won't run into an ex. 56 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,284 -He never came back from London. -He never came back? 57 00:04:03,283 --> 00:04:06,829 -Never came back. -Does he still have your nudes, by any chance? 58 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:09,916 Um, what, are you afraid of him leaking your nudes? 59 00:04:09,915 --> 00:04:11,792 -Sorry, that was a weird question. -If he ever did, 60 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,170 I have nudes of him that are not as favorable. 61 00:04:14,169 --> 00:04:16,005 Really? He has peasant nudes. 62 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:17,840 -What is your baggage? -I just don't have any. 63 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,884 -Wow. -Yeah, I checked my baggage. 64 00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:22,053 -No baggage, no nudes? -Just got my MacBook in a tote bag. 65 00:04:22,052 --> 00:04:23,637 -Oh. -Might get some work done on this flight. 66 00:04:23,637 --> 00:04:25,931 What does it feel like to be so perfect? 67 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,811 Basically, what I tell people is like I'm just like you, except perfect. 68 00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:31,937 -Wow. Oh, my God. 69 00:04:31,937 --> 00:04:33,939 Thank you so much for getting a drink with me. 70 00:04:33,939 --> 00:04:36,233 I don't even know how I made it through my life 71 00:04:36,233 --> 00:04:38,902 until this moment. 72 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:42,657 But, no, honestly, I think whenever I meet someone, 73 00:04:42,656 --> 00:04:45,325 I create this fantasy version of this person. 74 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,704 And then the more that we get to know each other, 75 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:51,124 the more that fantasy just sort of whittles away, 76 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:55,503 and then all that's left is, like, this real person. 77 00:04:55,502 --> 00:05:00,341 And a lot of the time, I don't like the real person 78 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:02,134 as much as I like the fantasy person. 79 00:05:02,134 --> 00:05:05,888 Sounds like you idealize and then devalue. 80 00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:10,559 It's a very clinical language. 81 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,645 -Spot-on. -Thank you. 82 00:05:12,644 --> 00:05:15,898 -Um, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, okay? -Wait, wait, wait. 83 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:18,610 Do you actually have to go or do you just wanna check your phone? 84 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:21,780 If you just wanna check your phone, we could do a mutual check right now. 85 00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:24,698 -I would love to just check my phone. -Okay, okay, me too. 86 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,702 -I could use a hit. 87 00:05:28,702 --> 00:05:30,871 No notifications. 88 00:05:33,415 --> 00:05:36,168 -Uh, cheers to being single. 89 00:05:37,711 --> 00:05:40,047 What? Sorry, um... 90 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,842 It's okay. I like a woman who ignores me. 91 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,705 Only in New York could you make out 92 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:14,373 in front of a bunch of garbage and it's still romantic. 93 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,910 They kissed under the stars. 94 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:55,457 And after a perfectly crafted follow-up text from Milo 95 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:58,876 and an equally witty response from Wendy, 96 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:02,756 they would go weeks before they ever spoke again. 97 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:10,597 Three weeks and no signs of un-ghosting later, 98 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:14,600 Milo and his friend opted to drink overpriced cocktails 99 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,062 to celebrate someone from college's best friend 100 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:20,564 from high school's birthday. 101 00:07:20,564 --> 00:07:23,025 Did you hear about this In-N-Out Burger 102 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,070 that they found at a bus stop in Jamaica, Queens? 103 00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:27,946 How did a cheeseburger fly 3,000 miles? 104 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,075 Yeah, that's fake. That's a viral stunt. 105 00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:32,576 -That's not real. -You serious? 106 00:07:32,576 --> 00:07:35,662 This is Hank Kadner, Milo's best and most put-together friend. 107 00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:38,208 He is a financial analyst at JP Morgan 108 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:41,378 who is as savvy with his spreadsheets as he is with his dating advice. 109 00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:44,296 -People will do anything for clout. -No, it's not fake. 110 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,965 -Whoa. -It was a pristine In-N-Out Burger. 111 00:07:45,964 --> 00:07:47,257 Who's that? 112 00:07:49,259 --> 00:07:50,344 -No. -Yeah. 113 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,554 -Don't. -That's it. 114 00:07:51,553 --> 00:07:54,139 I'm going to marry that woman. 115 00:07:54,139 --> 00:07:56,558 -You know, you always do this. -Do what? 116 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,895 You point at a girl and you say, "I'm gonna marry her." 117 00:07:58,894 --> 00:08:01,188 So, in the off chance you guys do get married... 118 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,108 at your wedding. -...you can say you said that -I don't sound like that. 119 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,276 You look crazy. Look, this is how you look. 120 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,487 "I'm gonna marry her." 121 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,489 -That's not what I sound like. -That is exactly what you sound like. 122 00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:12,157 -That's not what I sound like at all. -Hi. 123 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,202 Can I help you? 124 00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:16,870 -Um, no-- -That's you. 125 00:08:16,870 --> 00:08:19,289 Why did you point at me? 126 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,876 I was making a point. 127 00:08:21,875 --> 00:08:26,338 My friend here, he likes to-- he does this thing where he-- 128 00:08:26,338 --> 00:08:28,132 he points at the prettiest girl at the bar 129 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:29,883 and he says, "I'm gonna marry her." 130 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,636 And in the off chance that he happens 131 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,638 to actually get married to that girl, 132 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,515 then he can say it at the reception 133 00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:37,349 and it can be like a cute moment. 134 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,144 -He does it in every bar we go to. - Aw. 135 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:40,353 -So it's kind of-- -Okay. 136 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,731 So you think I'm the cutest girl at this bar? 137 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,110 I think that-- that's pretty fair to say. 138 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,446 Ap spritzes on me. 139 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:52,907 -Um, go talk to her. -That'd be weird. 140 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:55,326 -I'm not just gonna go talk to her. -Yeah, go. 141 00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,287 -What would I say? -Oh, are you shy? 142 00:08:57,287 --> 00:09:00,957 "Uh, I'm shy. I'm shy." 143 00:09:00,956 --> 00:09:02,791 That's me being shy. How annoying is that? 144 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,337 We don't have time for that. Go talk to that girl! 145 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:07,254 You said you're gonna marry her. Now you won't even talk to her? 146 00:09:07,254 --> 00:09:09,840 Here's what you do you. You go over, say "hi." 147 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,801 -Touch her shoulder a little bit. -Okay. 148 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,054 And then lean in, say something funny. 149 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:18,182 Maybe say it quietly so she has to, like, lean in towards you. 150 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,851 -Okay. -I had an ex who I thought I was interesting for years. 151 00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,936 Turns out he just spoke really quiet. 152 00:09:23,937 --> 00:09:25,314 That's cool. 153 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,986 All right, I'll leave you to it. 154 00:09:32,279 --> 00:09:33,906 -What's up? Hey. -Hi. 155 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,451 -How you doing? I'm Milo. -Hi. 156 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:37,994 -Olivia. -Olivia. 157 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:39,704 -Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. 158 00:09:39,703 --> 00:09:40,788 Where are you from? 159 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,581 -I'm from Texas. -Oh. 160 00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:44,124 A Southern belle. 161 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,210 -Yeah, there we go. -You're in the big city. 162 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,505 Thank you, sir. -Mm, you're welcome, ma'am. 163 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:51,340 -Oh, my God, we're doing accents. 164 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,551 Help! No, just kidding. 165 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:57,055 No, I went to college with, um, a friend of Lucy's 166 00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:59,264 who's also named Olivia. 167 00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:00,474 -Oh. -Which is fun. 168 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,435 -And-- what? 169 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,648 Do you dress up or you're like, "I don't do costumes." 170 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,942 -Um, I don't really... yeah. 171 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,820 -Do costumes? -I like to wear, like, a fun hat. 172 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,488 Just like a normal outfit, fun hat. 173 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,615 -I have a face for hats. -Oh. 174 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,492 It's so round. Look how round it is. 175 00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:19,618 Just thought I'd come, be a little, you know, wingman. 176 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,287 -Oh, a wingman. -Yeah. 177 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,415 That's fun, interesting. I like what you did there. 178 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:25,290 One little wing, yeah. Other wing holding him up. 179 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,502 Yeah, he has really bad social anxiety, so... 180 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,877 -Oh, wow. -...I try to help him out with that. 181 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,088 -Okay, that's intense. -Yeah. 182 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,755 -Touch it. Touch it. -Can I? 183 00:10:31,755 --> 00:10:34,049 -I'm giving you permish. 184 00:10:34,049 --> 00:10:37,469 -It's soft, right? You like that? -Yeah, it's very soft. 185 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,847 - Okay. -Oh, wow. 186 00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,472 -Get the aromatics. -Breathe it in. 187 00:10:40,472 --> 00:10:42,516 -Let the wine breathe. -Wow, look at you go. 188 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:46,312 -Stop-- look at our friends. -Look at them over there. 189 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,441 -Mmm, you are dying to kiss my little mouth. -Maybe I am. 190 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:51,693 I don't have a top lip, but I'm-- I can make it work. 191 00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:55,279 -What do you mean? -I don't have a really big top lip. 192 00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,448 That might be the best wine I've ever tasted. 193 00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:58,949 Where did you get this? 194 00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:01,369 Uh, it's my boyfriend's family, actually-- 195 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,079 My boyfriend's family. 196 00:11:03,078 --> 00:11:05,664 My boyfriend's... 197 00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:07,333 family actually owns the vineyard 198 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:12,046 that this is from, and it's a rosé white wine. 199 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,635 -What happened? -Did you get her number, brah? 200 00:11:17,634 --> 00:11:20,012 -No. She actually has a boyfriend. - Oh. 201 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,098 -How'd you find that out? -I think I knew that. 202 00:11:22,097 --> 00:11:24,183 Oh, my-- thanks for telling me. 203 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,727 Cheers for telling me that she had a boyfriend. 204 00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,480 -Drama queen. -Whoa. 205 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,149 -Or king. -Progressive. 206 00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:33,776 I don't wanna put you in a box. 207 00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:36,112 Yeah, drama king, or drama prince over here. 208 00:11:36,111 --> 00:11:37,780 Okay, stop stealing my thunder. 209 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:40,199 People should have to wear these shirts 210 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,077 that say "I'm single." 211 00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:43,494 Uh-huh. 212 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:44,954 Because then it would help us, 213 00:11:44,953 --> 00:11:47,164 know who's single, who's not single. 214 00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:49,875 So, you found out she had a boyfriend, then you just walked away? 215 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,377 Yeah. 216 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,796 -Serious? -The conversation was done. 217 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,422 -Hi. -Oh, my God! 218 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,049 -How are you doin'? -Liv, how are you, babe? 219 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,841 -I'm good. -Good to see you. 220 00:11:57,841 --> 00:12:00,177 So you'll never guess what this guy just did to me. 221 00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:03,389 He walked away because I said I had a boyfriend. 222 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,517 Uh, yes. Yes, I did. 223 00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:09,145 Why would you do that? We were having a conversation. 224 00:12:09,144 --> 00:12:11,188 We can be friends. 225 00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:12,648 I don't know if you guys have heard 226 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,734 of this word before-- friends. 227 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,778 -Absolutely. -I've heard of that too. 228 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,405 I think that's a very normal thing to do 229 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,155 is to make friends. 230 00:12:20,155 --> 00:12:22,574 Theoretically, yes, we can be friends, 231 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,286 but we're in our 20s-- I'm sure you have your friends, 232 00:12:25,285 --> 00:12:27,246 I have my friends, I don't really need more friends. 233 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:30,749 I sort of need something a little bit more serious. 234 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,292 You're looking for a girlfriend? 235 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,087 Not like a girlfriend, girlfriend, but-- 236 00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:36,714 Raise your hand if you're looking for a girlfriend. 237 00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,305 We missed it. 238 00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:54,857 -That girl Jessie was cute. -Yeah, she was really cute. 239 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,484 -You guys seemed to hit it off. -Yeah. 240 00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,696 -She gave me her number. -Really? 241 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:01,239 Are you gonna text her? 242 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,034 -I think I'm gonna call her. -What? 243 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,327 -Yeah. -You're joking. 244 00:13:07,327 --> 00:13:09,621 No. What are you doing? 245 00:13:09,621 --> 00:13:11,248 -You're joking. Hang up. -What? 246 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,835 - What are you doing? -It's her voicemail. 247 00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:15,754 That's worse. That is so much worse. 248 00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:18,131 Hi, Jessie. Yeah, this is-- this is Hank. 249 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:21,050 -Don't hang up, press one. -We met tonight at Jessie's party. 250 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,053 -Press one, press one. -Not Jessie's party. 251 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:25,804 We met tonight at that party. You told me to give you a call. 252 00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:27,931 -Erase it. Pretend it was a butt dial. -So, here I am. 253 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,851 So let me know if you'd like to hang out... 254 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,810 -Do not hang up. -...and get a drink sometime. 255 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,730 -Okay. Bye. -Press one, then three. 256 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:36,900 -What's wrong with you? 257 00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:40,110 -What's wrong with you? -Let me make a phone call. 258 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:43,947 You just met and you just left a voicemail on this person's phone. 259 00:13:43,947 --> 00:13:45,741 Yeah, I mean business. 260 00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:49,036 -Is that okay? -No, that's psychotic! 261 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:52,457 I would not do that, personally. That's not my ministry. 262 00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:56,919 I wouldn't personally do that, but go ahead. 263 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,545 It's not your ministry? 264 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,423 Who are you, Joel Osteen? 265 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:03,718 Leaving someone a voicemail-- that's not your ministry? 266 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:26,907 Do you ever feel like New York is talking to you? 267 00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:36,500 No. 268 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,218 Days later, in a different part of Manhattan, 269 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,681 Wendy and Jessie took New York's most reliable mode of transportation 270 00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:53,768 and floated the idea of never having to be an ex again. 271 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:56,021 -Look into my beautiful green eyes. -Okay. 272 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,855 When someone says they wanna date themself, 273 00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:00,399 there's always an ex, okay? 274 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:03,068 Jessie Katz has been Wendy's best friend 275 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:06,030 since they met at Wesleyan and both got dumped the day before graduation. 276 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:09,366 They were bound by their singlehood and love of New York. 277 00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,827 Sometimes it's us, sometimes it's them, 278 00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:14,788 but behind every disappearing person, there's an ex. 279 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:18,876 -Trust me. -No, I hate that. I don't like exes. 280 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:22,004 I don't like being an ex, I don't like talking about exes, and it stresses me out. 281 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,465 When someone brings up their ex, they're just tryin' to show you 282 00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,259 that they were once a hot commodity. 283 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,136 -Exactly. -So I should like them even more, 284 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:30,471 because they have a series of exes. 285 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,349 -Speaking of people you like, what is going on with-- 286 00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:36,895 It was at this point that the nosy app Meet Cute 287 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:39,021 reminded Wendy of her date with Milo 288 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:42,942 and gave her an idea of how to never be an ex again. 289 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:50,407 Meanwhile, bored and alone on the Upper West Side, 290 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,869 Milo is catching up on his stories. 291 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,788 Instagram stories. 292 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:58,124 - Wait, is that Jessie? 293 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,303 Until all of a sudden... 294 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,196 Unknowing of what was to come, 295 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,949 Milo met Wendy at a neutral diner 296 00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,492 placed equidistant along the F train. 297 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:38,122 So, what do you think? 298 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:39,791 Nope. 299 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,459 No, I'm not. 300 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:43,002 I don't think so. 301 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,796 No, because I'm just gonna fall in love, 302 00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:46,923 I'm gonna get my heart broken, and then you see 303 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,758 how that could be very bad for me. 304 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:52,178 -No. -You use that word so loosely-- fall in love. 305 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:53,804 You literally said you were gonna fall in love 306 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,681 with the girl we saw with the New Yorker bag. 307 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,017 Okay, but did you see her, though? 308 00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,435 Anyway, where were we? 309 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,144 -We were, uh-- -Oh, my God! 310 00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,895 We were acknowledging the fact 311 00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:04,523 that we are both mutually heartbroken people 312 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,400 who want all the benefits of a relationship 313 00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,778 without the miserable torture of actually being in one. 314 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,155 Wendy, a couple hours ago, 315 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,864 I thought that you were ghosting me. 316 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,199 I was ready to cut you out of my life, 317 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,744 forget about you, move, honestly. 318 00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,120 Then you text me out of nowhere, 319 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,707 "Hey, we need to talk. It's very important." 320 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,375 All lowercase. 321 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,877 You can understand how I'm freaking out, right? 322 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:26,128 I'm like, "She's pregnant. She's pregnant." 323 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:29,798 And if you are pregnant, then I'm ready. 324 00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:32,259 Um, we used, like, so many condoms, I wouldn't be worried. 325 00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:35,054 -Thank God you're not pregnant. -Oh, man, I know, I know. 326 00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:39,059 -Wouldn't that be terrible? -Whoo! I was freaking out. 327 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,393 -Like, I said I was ready; I'm not ready. -Rewinding. 328 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,647 Do you not want consistent sex without the emotional attachment? 329 00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,399 Okay, no, I do want consistent sex, I want that, 330 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,819 but I also want the emotional attachment. 331 00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:51,362 Okay, how about this? 332 00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,573 We could be each other's guides, Milo, right? 333 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,283 Like you guide me, I guide you. 334 00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:57,826 I could teach you how to not be ghosted. 335 00:17:57,826 --> 00:18:01,038 I look like I get ghosted? 336 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,122 -Yeah. -Me? 337 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:04,542 -Mm-hmm. -No. I ghost. 338 00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:06,043 -I don't get ghosted. -Oh. 339 00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:08,380 You maybe look like you could use help 340 00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,548 not dating douche bags. 341 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,884 I don't think that men are as complicated as you want us to be. 342 00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:15,387 You're playing chess, we're playing Xbox. 343 00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:18,222 -What? -You're playing chess, we're playing Nintendo 64. 344 00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:20,808 -Who? 345 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,101 Boom. 346 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:26,815 You've never blown a cartridge? 347 00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:28,650 I'm sitting here, I'm listening to you, 348 00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:31,236 I'm thinking, and, you know, you seem like a sweet guy. 349 00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:33,029 You seem like a really, really nice guy, 350 00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:35,823 but I'm thinking that this is just maybe a bad idea, 351 00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:38,118 'cause I'm just being selfish, I'm just being selfish. 352 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:41,203 I'm projecting my own fears, and I don't wanna take advantage of you. 353 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,997 I mean, you're a nice dude and, you know, it's stupid. 354 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:46,835 So, we should probably just sit here, enjoy this meal. 355 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:07,229 Okay, all right, after some non-awkward silence-- 356 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,524 Ah! You've come to your senses. I am so glad! 357 00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:10,774 Okay, let's talk terms. 358 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:15,738 Lucky for you, I come up with this little gem. 359 00:19:15,739 --> 00:19:18,700 This was Wendy's solution to any future heartbreaks, 360 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:23,288 because you can't get dumped if you were never in a real relationship, right? 361 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:28,877 Here's the brass tacks-- basically, we don't get jealous of each other. 362 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:31,628 And for every night that I spend at your place, you spend two nights at mine. 363 00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:33,297 -How is that fair? -You live with your parents. 364 00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:35,884 I don't. I live with my mom and Larry. 365 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,928 And they travel a lot, so I'm being financially responsible. 366 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,102 I'm not even gonna consider signing that 367 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:48,646 until you add cuddling. 368 00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:50,522 -Add cuddling? -Yup. 369 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,608 And none of that on opposite sides of the bed stuff. 370 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:57,654 I need, boom, 75% of the night together, at least. At least. 371 00:19:57,654 --> 00:20:00,616 Separation, that makes me think of divorce. 372 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:03,202 -I don't like it. -Most marriages end in divorce anyway. 373 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,286 No deal. 374 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:10,417 Fine! Fine, you can have cuddling. 375 00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:12,670 ♪ We're gonna cuddle I'ma be big spoon ♪ 376 00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:16,007 ♪ Sometimes little spoon 'Cause I like feelin' safe ♪ 377 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,385 -♪ What? ♪ -You have a nice voice and we can sing later. 378 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:19,843 You have to ad lib. 379 00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:21,596 -♪ What? ♪ -I don't know. 380 00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:24,349 -Okay, go on, go on, go on. Go. -Okay, one more thing. 381 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:25,933 -This is very important. -Mm-hmm. 382 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:28,394 The words "I love you," in that order, 383 00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:31,355 cannot be shared with one party to the other 384 00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,440 unless they are used in a non-affectionate way. 385 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,318 What does this mean? Let me explain it to you. 386 00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,111 Any example of that exemption would be 387 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:38,905 if we were to impersonate someone 388 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:42,157 or if we use it in a sarcastic and/or educational 389 00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:44,201 and/or non-truthful tone. 390 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:46,578 Does that make sense? 391 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,831 -Okay. -We shake. 392 00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:51,418 And so, once upon a time, in New York City, 393 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:55,421 Milo and Wendy's non-love story finally began. 394 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:58,466 -Everything was perfect. 395 00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:02,053 This is going to end with one of you guys getting your heart broken. 396 00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:04,097 No, we're not, because we're being really open 397 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,556 and transparent about the whole thing. 398 00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:07,100 We're not playing any games. 399 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,476 Okay, but in the entire history of romance, 400 00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:13,231 whenever two people start sleeping together, like, it gets complicated. 401 00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:16,650 That's why we did the contract, so we know what we can and cannot do. 402 00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:18,987 We set boundaries, so no one's heart's getting broken. 403 00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:22,490 Yeah, the contract that establishes you guys as friends with benefits? 404 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,409 Oh... 405 00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:26,453 This is going to end poorly for you, my friend. 406 00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:29,038 Look, it's not like we were friends, you know, 407 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,622 and then we started sleeping together, 408 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,334 and now we're reverting back to friendship. 409 00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,919 It's like, you know, we started with sex, 410 00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:37,255 and now we're turning that into a very beautiful 411 00:21:37,255 --> 00:21:40,717 and respectful friendship with sex. 412 00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:42,552 Here's where I think it's gonna go, okay? 413 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:45,387 Act one, inciting incident-- you sign the contract. 414 00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:47,973 You're laughing, laughing, laughing, having amazing sex. 415 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:50,309 Congratulations. Having the time of your life. 416 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,852 You start to get some inside jokes. 417 00:21:51,853 --> 00:21:53,688 "I'm hilarious." 418 00:21:53,688 --> 00:21:55,440 That's my impression of you in this fun relationship. 419 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,192 Act two-- fun and games. 420 00:21:57,192 --> 00:21:59,235 You guys start to have the perks of a relationship 421 00:21:59,234 --> 00:22:01,612 without actually having to deal with being in a relationship, 422 00:22:01,613 --> 00:22:04,908 because being in a relationship is famously hell on Earth. 423 00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,534 And then act three-- one of you randomly decides 424 00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,412 you do actually want to be in a relationship... 425 00:22:09,412 --> 00:22:11,664 And then, yeah, boom, movie's done. 426 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,624 I don't believe in traditional three-act structure. 427 00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:15,584 Not every movie needs three acts. 428 00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:18,421 Some are just one honeymoon act. 429 00:22:18,421 --> 00:22:20,590 It's kind of risk-free and there's ultimately-- 430 00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:23,050 it's just like me wearing the pants, which is kinda nice. 431 00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,468 But does he know that? 432 00:22:24,469 --> 00:22:26,471 Plus, I think she's as in love with me 433 00:22:26,471 --> 00:22:30,475 as I am with her, so it's gonna work out. 434 00:22:33,103 --> 00:22:35,355 And the friends that I was talking about, 435 00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:41,236 they got back together and, uh, were confused. 436 00:22:41,236 --> 00:22:43,655 They were confused as to why they got back together. 437 00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:45,781 And they were like, "Oh, we don't know 438 00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:48,117 how we got back together after all this time." 439 00:22:48,117 --> 00:22:49,535 They were apart three years. 440 00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,246 They weren't together for three years. 441 00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:53,998 They get back together, and then they're asking me like, 442 00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:56,751 "What do you think it was?" I'm like, "I know what it was. 443 00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:59,044 It was roll-over feelings. 444 00:23:00,672 --> 00:23:02,549 Which is when you're in a relationship, 445 00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:05,634 you got feelings, you got the relationship planned, 446 00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:08,470 hoping it's gonna be a family plan, right? 447 00:23:09,263 --> 00:23:13,308 Then you break up, but then you get back together 448 00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:16,729 with those same minutes from that phone 449 00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:18,732 and it's like same phone. 450 00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,149 Who this? 451 00:23:20,150 --> 00:23:24,446 Whoo! Amazing! 452 00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:27,865 -I think I'm gonna marry her. - Because she laughed at your jokes? 453 00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:29,742 I don't think her mom likes me, though. 454 00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:31,910 - You met her mom? -Yeah, accidentally. 455 00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:33,413 - How? -Bloomie's. 456 00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:35,331 What were you doing at Bloomingdale's? 457 00:23:35,330 --> 00:23:37,833 -I was getting free cologne. -You're stealing cologne now? 458 00:23:37,834 --> 00:23:39,669 No, you just walk in, 459 00:23:39,669 --> 00:23:42,213 and then you get your free sample, and then you go. 460 00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:45,257 -Anyway, I see Wendy's mom. -Wait, Wendy wasn't there? 461 00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:47,469 No, but I recognize her mom from her Instagram. 462 00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:49,512 -Cool. -So, I go over to say hello. 463 00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,764 So I walk up to her and I'm like, "Oh, hello." 464 00:23:51,765 --> 00:23:53,975 And then she's like, "Uh, who are you?" 465 00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:56,185 I'm like, "Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm Milo. 466 00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:59,146 I met Wendy on a dating app and we're sort of friends now. 467 00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:00,647 You're Wendy's mom, right?" 468 00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:02,191 She's like, "Yeah, yeah, indeed I am. 469 00:24:02,192 --> 00:24:04,694 I don't know who you are." 470 00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:06,570 She didn't know who I was. 471 00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:11,241 So that either means that A, Wendy did tell her about me 472 00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:14,286 and she doesn't like me, so she's trying to neg me 473 00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:16,122 by acting like she doesn't know who I am 474 00:24:16,122 --> 00:24:21,836 or Wendy didn't tell her, because she takes me as a joke. 475 00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:24,839 -Wait, do we care what Wendy's mom thinks? -Yes. 476 00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:28,592 I mean, I want Wendy to like me, so I want her mom to like me. 477 00:24:28,593 --> 00:24:32,430 Okay, never underestimate the will of a girl 478 00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:35,600 to disrespect her parents' wishes, okay? 479 00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:37,393 Make sure you get my T-zone. 480 00:24:37,394 --> 00:24:39,145 I've been told it's very oily. 481 00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:41,897 Ooh, did I tell you that I broke up with Katie 7F? 482 00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:44,608 What? I didn't even know that you were dating her. 483 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:46,527 You're already breaking up with her? 484 00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:48,905 Katie 7F grew up on the seventh floor 485 00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:51,448 in apartment letter F in Milo's building. 486 00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:54,786 They rediscovered each other sexually after a romantic elevator ride 487 00:24:54,786 --> 00:24:58,206 wherein Milo AirDropped his phone number to her phone, 488 00:24:58,205 --> 00:24:59,665 by mistake, of course. 489 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:10,092 - That's a good one, yeah. 490 00:25:10,093 --> 00:25:12,095 Is that gonna make it to your Instagram? 491 00:25:12,095 --> 00:25:13,722 What? 492 00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:16,682 Is it just gonna make it to your grid? 493 00:25:16,682 --> 00:25:18,976 'Cause I'm usually in your story, which is dope, 494 00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:21,563 love that, just hoping that, you know, 495 00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:25,025 maybe we can make the next step, go to the grid. 496 00:25:25,025 --> 00:25:26,401 What do you mean? 497 00:25:26,401 --> 00:25:29,821 I've posted you on Instagram before. 498 00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:32,031 -No, you haven't. -Yes, I have! 499 00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:35,909 That one time we were in Maine at that ice cream store, Scoop Du Jour. 500 00:25:35,910 --> 00:25:37,454 We had mousse vanilla. 501 00:25:37,453 --> 00:25:39,496 I remember you posted the ice cream cone 502 00:25:39,497 --> 00:25:41,708 and then you tagged me 503 00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:43,084 in the photo of the ice cream cone. 504 00:25:43,084 --> 00:25:45,587 No, your name was in the photo. 505 00:25:45,586 --> 00:25:48,047 Okay, that's not my face, though, 506 00:25:48,048 --> 00:25:50,175 that's my Instagram handle. 507 00:25:51,384 --> 00:25:53,678 Well, what do you mean? 508 00:25:53,678 --> 00:25:56,306 People are gonna be like, "Oh, he made that ice cream for her." 509 00:25:56,306 --> 00:26:00,602 I didn't. I was there, took the train up with you. 510 00:26:00,602 --> 00:26:02,687 -Do you not get that? -Yes. 511 00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:04,438 -You do get that? -I-- 512 00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:05,690 So you know, but you're just ashamed. 513 00:26:06,316 --> 00:26:07,984 No, it was on my Instagram. I don't understand the problem. 514 00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:10,152 -We should break up. -Serious? 515 00:26:10,153 --> 00:26:12,364 Yeah! I think we should break up. 516 00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:14,866 -Actions speak louder than captions! -Please stop yelling at me! 517 00:26:14,865 --> 00:26:18,285 It's really nice, because I realize the role that I play 518 00:26:18,286 --> 00:26:21,873 is I'm sort of like this between-relationship doula for women. 519 00:26:21,873 --> 00:26:23,583 Am I not present with you right now? 520 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:25,126 You're screaming at me in the middle of the park! 521 00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:26,710 -I'm not screaming at you! -Yes, you are! 522 00:26:26,711 --> 00:26:28,254 No, I was tryin' to have a conversation with you! 523 00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:29,880 This is so embarrassing! 524 00:26:29,881 --> 00:26:31,758 So they could go from, like, one guy, 525 00:26:31,758 --> 00:26:33,718 improve themselves, and then go on to the next guy. 526 00:26:33,718 --> 00:26:36,179 I'm sort of like a manic pixie dream boy in that way. 527 00:26:36,179 --> 00:26:37,931 I think we need to just break up with each other. 528 00:26:37,931 --> 00:26:39,599 -What? -I think it's over. 529 00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:41,850 You're obsessed with Instagram, with social media. 530 00:26:41,851 --> 00:26:43,770 I'm not obsessed. 531 00:26:43,769 --> 00:26:45,646 You have a sick obsession with how people think about you. 532 00:26:45,646 --> 00:26:46,980 What are you talking about? 533 00:26:46,980 --> 00:26:48,399 It's like, "Damn, you're awesome, 534 00:26:48,692 --> 00:26:51,403 but Wendy, she's uh-- she's the one, you know?" 535 00:26:51,403 --> 00:26:52,904 -Right... -Or at least I think. 536 00:26:52,903 --> 00:26:54,196 -I don't know. -Yeah. 537 00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:56,281 So, it's over, 538 00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:58,450 because she wouldn't post a picture of you two? 539 00:26:58,451 --> 00:26:59,577 Yeah. 540 00:26:59,576 --> 00:27:01,161 I think that she was embarrassed 541 00:27:01,162 --> 00:27:03,039 to have people know that we were dating. 542 00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:04,748 -Hmm. -I know. 543 00:27:04,749 --> 00:27:07,544 So I had to break up with her. Had to do it. 544 00:27:07,544 --> 00:27:09,963 Oh, don't be rude to my friend Milo. 545 00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:12,673 Oh. Yeah... I don't know. 546 00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:15,551 Over before it started, on to the next one, 547 00:27:15,551 --> 00:27:17,970 which is the name of my dating podcast, by the way. 548 00:27:17,971 --> 00:27:20,807 -The one you haven't started yet? -We're looking for guests. 549 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:22,642 I don't know if it's about dating yet. 550 00:27:22,642 --> 00:27:24,185 It might just be about life, but if you wanna come on, 551 00:27:24,184 --> 00:27:25,436 talk about any guys that you're dating, 552 00:27:25,436 --> 00:27:27,521 that you might really like. 553 00:27:27,521 --> 00:27:29,690 If it is, can you talk about people who break up with you, 554 00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:31,401 and then still follow you on Instagram, 555 00:27:31,401 --> 00:27:33,361 and like all your photos and your pictures? 556 00:27:33,361 --> 00:27:35,280 Orbiters. They're orbiting you. 557 00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:38,032 -What do they do? -They're orbiting, you know, like... 558 00:27:38,032 --> 00:27:39,825 Oh, my God, you're gonna poke my eye out! 559 00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:42,078 -Stop, stop. I get it, I get it. -Okay, whoa. 560 00:27:42,077 --> 00:27:44,788 All right, but there was this New York Times article that I sent you. 561 00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:47,041 I don't read any of the articles that you send me. 562 00:27:47,041 --> 00:27:49,501 -You never read any of the articles that I send you? -Who has time? 563 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:51,378 -You know what really does annoy me, though? -Hmm? 564 00:27:51,378 --> 00:27:53,839 I hate it when someone posts something 565 00:27:53,839 --> 00:27:56,133 and you can really tell that they're trying 566 00:27:56,134 --> 00:27:59,012 -to get under your skin, you know? -Mm-hmm. 567 00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:02,639 They'll post something at a place that was special to the both of you. 568 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,352 And then it's like, "Oh, who's this new person? 569 00:28:05,352 --> 00:28:07,145 They just invited some new person." 570 00:28:07,144 --> 00:28:09,688 -Yep. -And they're at Shakespeare in the Park 571 00:28:09,689 --> 00:28:13,401 and they're just having a great time at Shakespeare in the Park 572 00:28:13,401 --> 00:28:15,528 with some guy probably named Greg or something, 573 00:28:15,528 --> 00:28:17,447 who works in finance and is a loser. 574 00:28:17,446 --> 00:28:21,784 That is honestly called "targeted offensive orbiting," 575 00:28:21,785 --> 00:28:23,536 and it is a serious problem. 576 00:28:23,536 --> 00:28:26,122 It's like a lighthouse in the deep, dark sea of emotion 577 00:28:26,122 --> 00:28:27,832 that's tryin' to get the boat back to the dock. 578 00:28:27,832 --> 00:28:30,210 It's literally someone going, "Hey, look at me. 579 00:28:30,210 --> 00:28:32,253 I'm recreating this experience that we had together 580 00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:34,546 with someone else, and I am happier doing it. 581 00:28:34,547 --> 00:28:36,091 Ha ha ha ha ha." 582 00:28:36,090 --> 00:28:37,966 It's like a foghorn. 583 00:28:37,967 --> 00:28:40,595 -It's... - Foghorning! Yes! 584 00:28:40,595 --> 00:28:42,681 -Okay, that was good. -Oh, my God, okay. 585 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:53,774 I need some time. 586 00:28:53,775 --> 00:28:56,069 -I'm almost ready, I'm almost ready. -Silence is boring. 587 00:28:56,068 --> 00:28:59,029 Shh, hurry up. Are you ready? 588 00:28:59,029 --> 00:29:00,739 I'm ready. What are your thoughts? 589 00:29:00,740 --> 00:29:04,577 I thought that was funny, but it could be shorter. 590 00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:06,120 I thought it was really long. 591 00:29:06,121 --> 00:29:08,373 But it was funny, though. It was funny. 592 00:29:08,373 --> 00:29:10,083 Okay, okay. 593 00:29:10,083 --> 00:29:14,421 I am still trying to figure out what the movie's about. 594 00:29:14,421 --> 00:29:16,464 Does it have to be about something? 595 00:29:16,463 --> 00:29:18,841 It's about a dude that turns into a dog. 596 00:29:18,842 --> 00:29:21,344 I'm trying to think of what the movie's trying to say, 597 00:29:21,344 --> 00:29:23,847 because that's just such a basic plot point. 598 00:29:23,846 --> 00:29:25,347 A guy turning into a dog? 599 00:29:25,347 --> 00:29:26,974 It's saying that, wow, isn't it crazy 600 00:29:26,974 --> 00:29:28,517 when someone turns into a dog? 601 00:29:28,518 --> 00:29:30,228 I feel like that's what they're saying. 602 00:29:30,228 --> 00:29:31,855 No, art is art because it lets us feel something. 603 00:29:31,855 --> 00:29:33,231 Here's my gist. 604 00:29:33,230 --> 00:29:34,815 I think it's about parenthood 605 00:29:34,816 --> 00:29:36,568 and how it's difficult to raise a child, 606 00:29:36,567 --> 00:29:38,402 because we really take advantage of the little moments 607 00:29:38,403 --> 00:29:41,573 and how we need to savor life a little bit more. 608 00:29:41,573 --> 00:29:43,324 That's just off the top of my head. 609 00:29:43,324 --> 00:29:44,909 -I need more time to think. -That was smart. 610 00:29:44,909 --> 00:29:46,703 -Thank you. -You're making me a cinephile. 611 00:29:46,702 --> 00:29:48,662 -I know. -That was good. 612 00:29:48,663 --> 00:29:50,832 What if we were a movie? What would our movie be? 613 00:29:50,832 --> 00:29:55,086 Oh, my God, I think it would be like a slasher horror film 614 00:29:55,086 --> 00:29:56,755 where Denzel Washington plays you 615 00:29:56,755 --> 00:29:58,381 -and Margot Robbie plays me. -Okay. 616 00:29:58,381 --> 00:30:00,425 And we both get gutted and die together. 617 00:30:00,424 --> 00:30:02,051 And then we have to solve our own murders. 618 00:30:02,051 --> 00:30:03,510 And then we come alive in different universes 619 00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:05,137 and solve who murdered each of us. 620 00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:07,264 I like the different universe aspect of it. 621 00:30:07,265 --> 00:30:09,100 -That's nice. -Yeah, and then we-- exactly. 622 00:30:09,099 --> 00:30:11,560 And then we, and then we, and then we. 623 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,103 -Stop, stop, stop! -And then we-- 624 00:30:13,104 --> 00:30:15,857 -Clever, but, no. -No? No hand holding? 625 00:30:15,856 --> 00:30:18,108 Why? No! Do you want my social too? 626 00:30:18,108 --> 00:30:20,110 -Yeah, that'd be nice. -I'll give you all my credit card numbers. 627 00:30:20,111 --> 00:30:23,198 Honestly, I would love that. You pay for dinner anyway, so. 628 00:30:23,198 --> 00:30:24,324 -That's true. 629 00:30:25,157 --> 00:30:28,369 So what about holding hands makes you uncomfortable? 630 00:30:28,369 --> 00:30:30,371 That's Milo's doorman Cole. 631 00:30:30,372 --> 00:30:33,124 I hear he's a really handsome and charming guy. 632 00:30:33,124 --> 00:30:35,794 -Well, he's not my boyfriend, so why would he hold my hand? -Right. 633 00:30:35,794 --> 00:30:38,505 -Can you guys go on dates with other people? - Duh. 634 00:30:38,505 --> 00:30:39,964 -That's the whole point. -Why not? 635 00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,173 Who pays for dinner? 636 00:30:41,173 --> 00:30:42,508 -She does. -We split it. 637 00:30:42,509 --> 00:30:44,803 -Hmm, no. -Excuse me? 638 00:30:44,803 --> 00:30:46,471 -You do. 639 00:30:46,471 --> 00:30:48,640 I literally have sent you, like, 50 Venmo requests, 640 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,893 and they're all sitting there, and I am being a gentle woman 641 00:30:51,893 --> 00:30:53,895 by not reminding you that they are there. 642 00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:58,982 Okay, I got one more very, very important question. 643 00:31:03,113 --> 00:31:04,364 Hang on. 644 00:31:04,364 --> 00:31:05,365 Hi. 645 00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:08,701 Sorry about that. Uh, who are you here to see? 646 00:31:08,701 --> 00:31:10,619 -7F? What's your name? -Brian. 647 00:31:10,619 --> 00:31:13,664 -Brian, all right. -Okay, he's also totally lying 648 00:31:13,664 --> 00:31:15,874 -about not telling people's business. -Oh, my God. 649 00:31:15,875 --> 00:31:19,379 He was the person that told me my parents were having an affair. 650 00:31:19,378 --> 00:31:21,046 -Stop! -Yeah. 651 00:31:21,047 --> 00:31:23,299 -That's unreal. -I know. 652 00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:25,843 -I'm sorry! -It's totally unreal because I'm just messing with you. 653 00:31:25,844 --> 00:31:27,387 -That didn't really happen. -Are you kidding? 654 00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:30,180 Sorry about that. Where were we? 655 00:31:30,181 --> 00:31:31,599 Important question. Ready? 656 00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:39,898 What happens when one of you catches feelings? 657 00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:43,694 Uh, you mean if one of us catches feelings? 658 00:31:49,742 --> 00:31:52,828 Yeah, yeah, if. 659 00:31:52,828 --> 00:31:56,248 No, no, I mean when. 660 00:31:56,249 --> 00:31:58,668 It's never if. 661 00:31:58,667 --> 00:31:59,835 It's never, ever if. 662 00:31:59,836 --> 00:32:02,589 It's-- it's always when. 663 00:32:06,259 --> 00:32:08,636 You guys are gonna have a lot of fun... 664 00:32:10,512 --> 00:32:12,556 but it's never gonna work out. 665 00:32:14,558 --> 00:32:16,393 Take it from me. 666 00:32:27,364 --> 00:32:28,782 Sweet and salty. 667 00:32:30,115 --> 00:32:31,241 How's that? 668 00:32:32,826 --> 00:32:34,119 Hmm. 669 00:32:36,455 --> 00:32:38,624 How about the Razzle Dazzle? 670 00:32:38,625 --> 00:32:40,292 Does it razzle? 671 00:32:40,292 --> 00:32:41,460 Does it... 672 00:32:42,420 --> 00:32:43,630 Dazzle? 673 00:32:45,089 --> 00:32:46,799 All right, that's it. 674 00:32:48,259 --> 00:32:50,303 -No. It's not. -No. Okay. 675 00:32:50,303 --> 00:32:52,138 Well, at least you're predictable. 676 00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:53,472 Huh? 677 00:32:53,472 --> 00:32:54,640 Cookie dough. 678 00:32:54,641 --> 00:32:56,059 Why would you say that? 679 00:32:56,058 --> 00:32:57,518 Well, you just gotta pick a flavor 680 00:32:57,519 --> 00:32:59,437 and then just go with that flavor. 681 00:32:59,436 --> 00:33:01,689 And why would I pick a flavor and just go with that flavor 682 00:33:01,690 --> 00:33:03,024 when I can try all the flavors? 683 00:33:03,023 --> 00:33:04,566 Because if you try all the flavors, 684 00:33:04,567 --> 00:33:06,361 then you never really get to experience 685 00:33:06,361 --> 00:33:12,200 just one good flavor at once. 686 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,953 - Let me think about that. -Mm-hmm, yeah. 687 00:33:14,952 --> 00:33:17,371 Yeah, I think I'm just gonna exercise my right 688 00:33:17,372 --> 00:33:20,542 -to try all the flavors because I can. -Okay. 689 00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:22,501 And I'm going to get the vanilla cone. 690 00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:24,586 - Boring. Predictable. -That's not boring. 691 00:33:24,586 --> 00:33:27,464 No, I like vanilla, because I'm traveled, I'm wise, 692 00:33:27,464 --> 00:33:29,341 I'm cultured, I've had the other flavors. 693 00:33:29,342 --> 00:33:31,761 Chocolate varies too much brand to brand. 694 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,263 -Cotton candy, that's one of the fun flavors, right? -Yeah. 695 00:33:34,263 --> 00:33:36,348 You take two bites of that, too sweet. 696 00:33:36,348 --> 00:33:37,766 Thank you. 697 00:33:37,767 --> 00:33:39,894 -It's melting and everything. -Cheers. 698 00:33:41,438 --> 00:33:45,066 Okay, well, I guess you'll never experience the joy 699 00:33:45,066 --> 00:33:48,236 of having a Razzle Dazzle, salted caramel, 700 00:33:48,236 --> 00:33:52,449 -and cookie dough, in a cup, please. - Okay. 701 00:33:52,449 --> 00:33:55,660 I guess you'll never experience the joy of committing to something. 702 00:34:00,664 --> 00:34:04,168 What are you guys really talking about? 703 00:34:04,169 --> 00:34:05,920 Just some metaphors. 704 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,964 Yeah, metaphors are great ways to talk about things 705 00:34:07,963 --> 00:34:10,758 -that you don't actually wanna talk about. -Mm-hmm. 706 00:34:14,179 --> 00:34:17,015 Do-- do you wanna check out? 707 00:34:17,014 --> 00:34:19,975 Three avoided "what are we" conversations later, 708 00:34:19,976 --> 00:34:24,022 Milo wished he was the flavor that could make Wendy happy. 709 00:34:24,021 --> 00:34:26,607 -I think you make me a better person. 710 00:34:26,608 --> 00:34:29,694 I'm literally the same person you've dated your entire life, 711 00:34:29,693 --> 00:34:32,571 and if you're really on the quest to look for the one, 712 00:34:32,572 --> 00:34:35,116 then you really have to stop looking in the same place. 713 00:34:35,115 --> 00:34:36,867 I think you need to give yourself more credit. 714 00:34:36,867 --> 00:34:38,494 You don't make me a better person. 715 00:34:38,494 --> 00:34:40,120 That's why this works so well. 716 00:34:40,121 --> 00:34:42,165 We're like the TV show you watch every night, 717 00:34:42,164 --> 00:34:44,667 that episode of The Office that you know line by line. 718 00:34:44,668 --> 00:34:46,586 You just know what to expect. 719 00:34:47,461 --> 00:34:48,587 What's wrong with that? 720 00:34:48,588 --> 00:34:50,256 Okay! 721 00:34:51,925 --> 00:34:53,968 Hook, Hook, Hook. Wait, wait, wait. 722 00:34:53,967 --> 00:34:57,638 Um, no, I know-- stop, I know who is in Hook. 723 00:34:57,639 --> 00:34:59,766 -Rufio. -Whoa! 724 00:34:59,766 --> 00:35:01,976 -Um, yes, that's his na-- -Has a name. 725 00:35:01,976 --> 00:35:03,603 Okay, calm down. 726 00:35:03,603 --> 00:35:05,438 Uh, his name is, uh... 727 00:35:05,438 --> 00:35:06,606 - Three... -Two... 728 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:08,858 No, wait, no, no, no, stop! 729 00:35:08,858 --> 00:35:10,777 -...one. -Stop! 730 00:35:10,777 --> 00:35:14,239 Chug, chug, chug, chug! 731 00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:15,532 -Chug it, chug it. -That's alcohol. 732 00:35:15,532 --> 00:35:17,242 -No more. 733 00:35:17,242 --> 00:35:20,495 - Oh, Dante Basco, duh. -Should we split it? 734 00:35:20,494 --> 00:35:23,414 -No, I think we should do individually. -Why? 735 00:35:23,414 --> 00:35:26,458 -That's, like, extremely difficult... -Hank had two mains. 736 00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:28,002 He did, didn't he? 737 00:35:28,003 --> 00:35:30,005 Yeah, I'm bulking. 738 00:35:30,005 --> 00:35:31,715 You ate like two people. 739 00:35:31,715 --> 00:35:34,175 You got the sea bass and you got a hanger steak. 740 00:35:34,175 --> 00:35:38,013 But that hanger steak was not for the table, that was for you. 741 00:35:38,012 --> 00:35:40,681 Okay, fine, I'll-- I will pay the tip. 742 00:35:40,681 --> 00:35:42,307 -Okay. -Okay. 743 00:35:42,307 --> 00:35:44,560 -Aw! You guys! - Settled. That's fair. 744 00:35:44,561 --> 00:35:47,063 Say "Thank you, Daddy" on three. One, two, three. 745 00:35:47,063 --> 00:35:49,107 -Thank you, Daddy. - Very good. 746 00:35:49,106 --> 00:35:50,774 -Why didn't you say it? -'Cause it's uncomfortable. 747 00:35:50,775 --> 00:35:52,944 -I always tell them that. -He liked that too much. 748 00:35:52,943 --> 00:35:56,405 Now that that's settled, Wendy has big news, speaking of news. 749 00:35:56,405 --> 00:36:00,075 -Oh, does she? -Wendy is moving to LA. 750 00:36:00,076 --> 00:36:01,870 She's movin' to LA. She just told me. 751 00:36:01,869 --> 00:36:03,996 -That's exciting, that's awesome. - No... 752 00:36:03,996 --> 00:36:06,123 -I-- what? -I'm-- I'm just... 753 00:36:07,291 --> 00:36:10,377 contemplating a life there... 754 00:36:10,378 --> 00:36:12,297 Like, on purpose? 755 00:36:12,297 --> 00:36:13,798 Hate that for you. 756 00:36:13,797 --> 00:36:16,633 -LA is a haunted house... -Oh, my God. 757 00:36:16,634 --> 00:36:18,887 ...full of cardboard sunshine people. 758 00:36:18,887 --> 00:36:20,472 Why did you do that? See, you've made her mad. 759 00:36:20,472 --> 00:36:22,891 -You're being a child. -I'm not being a child. 760 00:36:22,891 --> 00:36:24,601 -You're being a child. -Mm-mm. 761 00:36:24,601 --> 00:36:26,061 You look like a child right now. 762 00:36:26,061 --> 00:36:28,229 The way you're drinking is childlike. 763 00:36:28,228 --> 00:36:31,732 If they're not a couple, they're definitely fighting like a couple. 764 00:36:31,733 --> 00:36:34,194 -Well, they are. -I don't think-- that was bickering. 765 00:36:34,193 --> 00:36:36,236 -I don't think that was fighting. -It wasn't fighting. 766 00:36:36,237 --> 00:36:37,822 You were being kind of dramatic. That wasn't fighting. 767 00:36:37,822 --> 00:36:39,783 That was a discussion. We were discussing. 768 00:36:39,782 --> 00:36:42,326 It was-- it was a salon. 769 00:36:42,327 --> 00:36:45,622 Oh, uh, my ex just moved to LA. 770 00:36:45,621 --> 00:36:47,414 - Oh, really? -I'll give you her number. 771 00:36:47,414 --> 00:36:48,749 -You guys would totally get along. - Yeah. 772 00:36:48,750 --> 00:36:51,126 Oh, amazing. 773 00:36:51,126 --> 00:36:54,338 That sounds incredible. What's up with your ex? 774 00:36:54,338 --> 00:36:56,340 Cool. 775 00:36:56,340 --> 00:36:59,051 She just moved there a few months ago. 776 00:36:59,052 --> 00:37:00,970 I didn't know you still talked to her. 777 00:37:00,969 --> 00:37:03,597 -I don't, really. 778 00:37:03,597 --> 00:37:06,016 She just told me that she was leaving to New York. 779 00:37:06,016 --> 00:37:08,519 She told you? Like, you guys text? 780 00:37:08,519 --> 00:37:12,439 Not often, but she texted me because we have... 781 00:37:13,900 --> 00:37:17,320 a "text when a big life event happens" type of relationship. 782 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,197 She's moving to LA? What is she, an actress? 783 00:37:19,197 --> 00:37:20,907 -She's moved to LA. -She's an actress? 784 00:37:20,907 --> 00:37:22,450 -No, she works in PR. -Is she blonde? 785 00:37:22,449 --> 00:37:24,618 Okay, how tall she? Look at me in the eyes. 786 00:37:24,619 --> 00:37:26,746 How-- hey! 787 00:37:26,746 --> 00:37:28,498 How tall is she? 788 00:37:28,498 --> 00:37:30,375 You know, that's something-- that we don't do that. 789 00:37:30,375 --> 00:37:32,794 We don't have to do that. We're immune to stuff like that. 790 00:37:32,793 --> 00:37:35,671 -We are immune. -We don't have that element to be worried about it. 791 00:37:35,672 --> 00:37:37,298 We can't even get to the point where we fight. 792 00:37:37,297 --> 00:37:39,383 - I'm not mad. -You're overreacting-- 793 00:37:39,384 --> 00:37:42,137 -I'm overreacting? It's called reacting, so. -You're-- I-- 794 00:37:42,137 --> 00:37:44,014 -You know that I hate-- -I've mentioned that-- 795 00:37:44,014 --> 00:37:46,683 Overreacting? Are you serious? 796 00:37:46,682 --> 00:37:49,101 I am going to go. 797 00:37:49,101 --> 00:37:51,603 This was so freaking cool and fun. 798 00:37:51,603 --> 00:37:54,148 - Bye. - Bye. 799 00:37:54,148 --> 00:37:56,525 - Have an amazing night, everyone. - Love you. 800 00:37:56,525 --> 00:37:58,610 - Love you. - Later. 801 00:38:01,739 --> 00:38:03,824 You still have her number? 802 00:38:03,824 --> 00:38:05,784 Yeah, what am I supp-- 803 00:38:05,784 --> 00:38:08,287 Am I not allowed to have an ex-girlfriend? 804 00:38:08,288 --> 00:38:09,789 You need a whole new phone now. 805 00:38:09,789 --> 00:38:13,460 I'm gonna go, um, deal with this. 806 00:38:13,460 --> 00:38:15,128 - Okay. - Okay? 807 00:38:15,128 --> 00:38:17,630 -Are you leaving without paying? -Leave a card. 808 00:38:17,630 --> 00:38:21,259 -Definitely leave a card. -But you got a lobster, that's not even-- 809 00:38:21,259 --> 00:38:22,510 Even the size, what do you think? 810 00:38:22,510 --> 00:38:25,555 Is there-- no way. 811 00:38:25,554 --> 00:38:27,514 -No kiss? No kiss? -No. 812 00:38:27,514 --> 00:38:29,516 PDA is a no-no for us. 813 00:38:29,516 --> 00:38:32,686 -Come on, just give me a kiss. -It's gross, it's gross. 814 00:38:32,686 --> 00:38:34,396 -I don't wanna do it. -Look at them. 815 00:38:34,396 --> 00:38:36,065 Are you kidding? 816 00:38:36,065 --> 00:38:37,649 I think they're overcompensating for something. 817 00:38:37,650 --> 00:38:39,903 I mean, they were literally just fighting. 818 00:38:39,902 --> 00:38:42,404 And now they're not. I don't know. 819 00:38:42,405 --> 00:38:44,407 I think they really love each other. 820 00:38:44,407 --> 00:38:46,826 And I think that they've been dating for, like, two weeks. 821 00:38:46,826 --> 00:38:49,496 Two months! 822 00:38:49,496 --> 00:38:52,332 They don't love each other. That is the honeymoon stage. 823 00:38:52,331 --> 00:38:54,249 I don't know. 824 00:38:54,250 --> 00:38:55,669 So? 825 00:38:55,668 --> 00:38:58,003 What? My place, your place? 826 00:38:58,003 --> 00:39:01,006 What are we doing, hmm? What are we doin'? 827 00:39:01,007 --> 00:39:03,885 I think I owe you two sleepovers, so. 828 00:39:03,885 --> 00:39:07,180 Um, actually... 829 00:39:08,139 --> 00:39:11,393 -I do. -You got other plans? 830 00:39:11,393 --> 00:39:12,727 Okay, all right. 831 00:39:12,726 --> 00:39:14,645 So what? That's a date? 832 00:39:14,646 --> 00:39:17,899 Yeah. Yeah, I already got a date. 833 00:39:19,483 --> 00:39:20,526 All right. 834 00:39:22,987 --> 00:39:25,365 I have to dip my toes back in the water. 835 00:39:25,364 --> 00:39:26,490 Come on. 836 00:39:26,490 --> 00:39:28,367 Actually, while I have you, 837 00:39:28,367 --> 00:39:30,786 is this a good text to send someone 838 00:39:30,786 --> 00:39:33,539 or is it, like, way too aggressive? 839 00:39:35,833 --> 00:39:37,626 -Really? -What? 840 00:39:37,626 --> 00:39:39,378 Wendy, no matter what I tell you, 841 00:39:39,586 --> 00:39:42,256 you're just gonna like the guy that doesn't like you back. 842 00:39:42,257 --> 00:39:46,302 Hey, emotionally unavailable people need love, too, so help. 843 00:39:47,594 --> 00:39:49,805 We're more afraid of you than you are of us. 844 00:39:49,806 --> 00:39:51,307 That's not helpful. 845 00:39:51,306 --> 00:39:54,226 Give me something more. Elaborate, please. 846 00:39:54,226 --> 00:39:58,731 Huh. You know, be your charming self, make small talk, 847 00:39:58,731 --> 00:40:03,360 have an emotional connection, you know, bite your lip, right? 848 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,946 But you can't text him. Do not! 849 00:40:05,947 --> 00:40:07,949 Seriously, you have to act like he died. 850 00:40:07,949 --> 00:40:10,618 Do not text him, and then, boom, he's yours. 851 00:40:12,454 --> 00:40:14,914 He'll fall in love with you. 852 00:40:14,914 --> 00:40:16,624 Thank you. 853 00:40:16,623 --> 00:40:18,834 But I have to go, and I'm gonna call you later. 854 00:40:28,052 --> 00:40:33,265 Uh, yeah, thank you for the drinks. 855 00:40:33,266 --> 00:40:35,101 I mean, I kind of wish you let me split it, 856 00:40:35,101 --> 00:40:37,395 but, whatever, it was really nice of you. 857 00:40:37,394 --> 00:40:40,939 Um, so thank you... again. 858 00:40:40,940 --> 00:40:43,401 Yeah, of course, no worries. 859 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,819 Uh, so drinks again next week. 860 00:40:45,820 --> 00:40:47,447 This was Mort, 861 00:40:47,447 --> 00:40:49,532 a man Wendy matched with on Meet Cute. 862 00:40:49,532 --> 00:40:53,453 He lived only one train stop away and was a clean 6'2". 863 00:40:53,452 --> 00:40:56,663 Rather than seeing a therapist, Mort co-hosted a podcast 864 00:40:56,664 --> 00:40:59,709 where he interviewed ex-girlfriends about what went wrong, 865 00:40:59,708 --> 00:41:02,920 called Let's Catch Up, available on iTunes and Spotify. 866 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,922 So, I'll see you again for drinks next week. 867 00:41:04,922 --> 00:41:07,132 We'll do drinks next week. 868 00:41:07,132 --> 00:41:09,134 No, actually. 869 00:41:09,135 --> 00:41:10,595 What? Why? what? 870 00:41:10,594 --> 00:41:12,763 I mean, you lied. 871 00:41:12,764 --> 00:41:14,015 About? 872 00:41:14,014 --> 00:41:15,140 Come on. 873 00:41:15,849 --> 00:41:17,309 -What? -Mort. 874 00:41:17,309 --> 00:41:19,520 -Yes? -Mort, you said you were 6'2". 875 00:41:22,856 --> 00:41:27,152 I am essentially 6'2". 876 00:41:27,152 --> 00:41:28,821 What-- what are you talking about? 877 00:41:28,822 --> 00:41:31,950 You're not 6'2". 878 00:41:31,949 --> 00:41:34,618 Okay, fine. 879 00:41:34,619 --> 00:41:37,288 I'm like 6-- I'm like 6-- I'm like a solid 6 foot. 880 00:41:37,288 --> 00:41:38,957 I'm like a clean 6-- 6'0". 881 00:41:40,458 --> 00:41:42,002 Sure, you know what? You're right. 882 00:41:42,001 --> 00:41:45,170 If I take off my shoes, yeah, I'm six foot. 883 00:41:45,170 --> 00:41:47,756 -But shoes back on, I'm probably like 6'3". -It's okay, honestly. 884 00:41:47,757 --> 00:41:51,052 6'2" is merely a number. 885 00:41:51,052 --> 00:41:52,721 You don't wanna give this a chance 886 00:41:52,721 --> 00:41:55,015 'cause I'm slightly smaller than I said I was? 887 00:41:55,014 --> 00:41:57,766 "Slight" is generous, Mort, but I appreciate you keeping yourself up. 888 00:41:57,766 --> 00:42:00,728 Here, come take a seat, let me explain something to you. 889 00:42:02,021 --> 00:42:06,817 Your optimism is endearing, honestly, but let's dig deeper. 890 00:42:07,777 --> 00:42:09,362 Why do you feel the need 891 00:42:09,362 --> 00:42:12,240 to exaggerate certain aspects of your profile? 892 00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:15,659 -I mean, do you not love you? -I do love me. 893 00:42:15,659 --> 00:42:18,579 Oh, good. Let's start there. 894 00:42:18,579 --> 00:42:23,042 It's just that dating-- dating can be so hard. 895 00:42:23,043 --> 00:42:25,587 It is. It can be. 896 00:42:25,586 --> 00:42:29,965 And I go on all these dates and I finally meet people that I like, 897 00:42:29,965 --> 00:42:32,718 and then the more I like them, the less they like me. 898 00:42:33,594 --> 00:42:35,929 Hmm, I know the feeling. Do you smoke? 899 00:42:35,929 --> 00:42:37,264 -No. -I don't either. 900 00:42:37,264 --> 00:42:39,933 Listen, Mort, here's the thing. 901 00:42:39,934 --> 00:42:43,313 Sometimes things in life just don't pan out the way we want them to, 902 00:42:43,313 --> 00:42:46,608 but you have to be able to get over it and you have to be okay with that. 903 00:42:46,608 --> 00:42:49,110 On a different couch, in a different part of Manhattan, 904 00:42:49,110 --> 00:42:51,363 Milo was enjoying temporary validation 905 00:42:51,362 --> 00:42:54,406 from all the likes on his most recent selfie. 906 00:42:54,407 --> 00:42:56,368 He was surprised, but not shocked, 907 00:42:56,367 --> 00:42:58,869 to see that Katie 7F liked his photo 908 00:42:58,869 --> 00:43:01,705 despite their theatrical Central Park breakup. 909 00:43:01,706 --> 00:43:03,541 He quickly scrolled her grid, 910 00:43:03,541 --> 00:43:05,710 and with no evidence of a significant other, 911 00:43:05,710 --> 00:43:10,048 her percentage of singlehood was likely high. 912 00:43:26,940 --> 00:43:29,859 Did you know that Sunday is the busiest day for people on dating apps? 913 00:43:29,858 --> 00:43:34,238 I wonder if it's because of the impending horror of the work week. 914 00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:37,617 -Actually, I'm sure that's probably it, yeah. 915 00:43:37,617 --> 00:43:41,079 Oh, and January sixth is the busiest day of the year. 916 00:43:41,079 --> 00:43:42,288 Why is that? 917 00:43:42,288 --> 00:43:44,207 'Cause people want Valentines? 918 00:43:44,206 --> 00:43:45,874 No, I think it's because people break up 919 00:43:45,875 --> 00:43:47,711 after they go meet each other's families, 920 00:43:47,710 --> 00:43:49,712 'cause they realize, "I was just in this relationship 921 00:43:49,713 --> 00:43:53,133 so I wouldn't be the only single person at Thanksgiving dinner." 922 00:43:53,132 --> 00:43:57,177 Ooh, and did you know that you're 80% more likely to be swiped right on 923 00:43:57,177 --> 00:43:59,346 if you use the word guacamole in your profile? 924 00:43:59,347 --> 00:44:01,558 -Guacamole? -Mm-hmm. 925 00:44:01,557 --> 00:44:03,225 Hmm. 926 00:44:03,226 --> 00:44:05,603 Do you know what men lie about? 927 00:44:05,603 --> 00:44:06,771 Their height? 928 00:44:07,771 --> 00:44:09,606 How did you know that? 929 00:44:09,606 --> 00:44:12,192 Because I'm 5'8", not 5'11". 930 00:44:12,985 --> 00:44:14,945 Mmm, right. 931 00:44:14,945 --> 00:44:16,947 Yes, I wish I knew that. 932 00:44:19,617 --> 00:44:21,202 Do you wanna come over? 933 00:44:21,202 --> 00:44:23,955 -That's a rule breaker. -What. 934 00:44:23,954 --> 00:44:26,457 I am sleepy, and I'm already in bed, 935 00:44:26,458 --> 00:44:30,211 and I'm watching Harry Potter, and... yeah. 936 00:44:30,210 --> 00:44:32,713 But I can talk to you until I fall asleep. 937 00:44:32,713 --> 00:44:36,091 -Okay, I'll settle for that. -Mm-hmm. 938 00:44:37,802 --> 00:44:40,930 Wait, where did you go? 939 00:44:40,929 --> 00:44:45,851 I just, uh, checked Instagram. 940 00:44:46,936 --> 00:44:49,564 -Oh, my God. 941 00:44:49,563 --> 00:44:52,816 -Thank-- -But, uh, yeah, yeah, I have to go. 942 00:44:52,817 --> 00:44:54,486 What? Wait, what? 943 00:44:54,485 --> 00:44:56,528 Yeah, I gotta-- I gotta go for real. 944 00:44:56,528 --> 00:44:58,906 Whatever, you suck. 945 00:45:10,085 --> 00:45:11,378 - Hi. -Hey, what's up? 946 00:45:11,378 --> 00:45:12,879 -Hey. 947 00:45:12,878 --> 00:45:14,463 -Thanks for coming. -Yeah, for sure. 948 00:45:14,463 --> 00:45:16,882 -Do I...? -Good, yeah, yeah, yeah. 949 00:45:16,882 --> 00:45:19,968 Um, so, yeah. 950 00:45:19,969 --> 00:45:21,930 Easy time getting here? 951 00:45:21,929 --> 00:45:24,598 Yeah, I mean, all of six minutes it took me. 952 00:45:24,599 --> 00:45:26,851 -I took the stairs. - Oh, okay. 953 00:45:26,851 --> 00:45:29,229 -A little cardio, a little workout, that's good. -Got my steps in. 954 00:45:29,228 --> 00:45:32,898 -Right, right, that's good. Do you want some wine? -I would love some wine. 955 00:45:32,898 --> 00:45:34,608 -Yeah, okay. -Yes, one of those days. 956 00:45:34,608 --> 00:45:37,069 -I've got a nice Flemish red. -Yep. 957 00:45:37,070 --> 00:45:39,030 Okay. 958 00:45:41,199 --> 00:45:42,784 -You like wine? -Yeah. 959 00:45:42,784 --> 00:45:44,160 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 960 00:45:44,159 --> 00:45:45,953 You know, I indulge, I would say. 961 00:45:45,954 --> 00:45:47,789 -Um... 962 00:45:47,789 --> 00:45:50,333 - It's hard not to miss it, eh? 963 00:45:50,333 --> 00:45:53,586 - Right. Cheers. - Cheers. 964 00:45:53,585 --> 00:45:56,714 Despite the contract stating they could sleep with others, 965 00:45:56,715 --> 00:45:58,800 Milo had a rush of morning guilt 966 00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,011 and Wendy couldn't help but feel a little bitter. 967 00:46:01,010 --> 00:46:03,387 I guess there's something you can learn from that. 968 00:46:03,387 --> 00:46:07,224 Like don't be stupid, don't just immediately have sex with someone, I guess. 969 00:46:07,224 --> 00:46:09,768 But like any healthy adult relationship, 970 00:46:09,768 --> 00:46:13,105 the two addressed their emotions head-on. 971 00:46:13,106 --> 00:46:15,108 -Why are you being moody? 972 00:46:15,108 --> 00:46:17,777 -I'm not. -You're being really moody. 973 00:46:17,777 --> 00:46:20,905 -No, I'm not being moody. -Oh, my God, let's not play this game. 974 00:46:20,905 --> 00:46:22,365 Just tell me if you're mad. 975 00:46:22,364 --> 00:46:23,907 If you're mad, we can talk about it. 976 00:46:23,907 --> 00:46:26,827 I'm not mad, I'm not. I was just saying. 977 00:46:26,827 --> 00:46:29,830 While one relationship tiptoed around their feelings, 978 00:46:29,831 --> 00:46:33,460 another was about to take a huge step forward. 979 00:46:33,460 --> 00:46:36,463 Okay, this neighborhood is very hot, very hot. 980 00:46:36,463 --> 00:46:38,340 Did you notice the Whole Foods they were building? 981 00:46:38,340 --> 00:46:40,800 -They were opening one down the street. -Oh, on 24th? 982 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,470 -No, the one on 23rd. -Uh, how's the landlord? 983 00:46:43,469 --> 00:46:45,220 Oh, completely insane. 984 00:46:45,221 --> 00:46:47,974 You'd be lucky if you get your security deposit back, 985 00:46:47,974 --> 00:46:51,186 but you have to ignore all these red flags for... 986 00:46:52,478 --> 00:46:53,896 natural light. 987 00:46:53,896 --> 00:46:55,814 It's a little small, right, Hanky? 988 00:46:57,275 --> 00:46:58,860 It's New York! 989 00:46:58,860 --> 00:47:00,487 Yeah, uh, can I think about it? 990 00:47:00,487 --> 00:47:01,988 Well, not too long, 991 00:47:01,987 --> 00:47:04,740 because this place is gonna be snapped up. 992 00:47:04,740 --> 00:47:08,118 A place like this in this hot neighborhood, very desirable. 993 00:47:08,119 --> 00:47:10,080 Take five seconds. 994 00:47:10,079 --> 00:47:11,955 Five, four, three, two-- 995 00:47:11,956 --> 00:47:13,833 -I'll take it! 996 00:47:13,833 --> 00:47:16,044 -Good choice. -Are you serious? 997 00:47:16,043 --> 00:47:17,920 -She's good. -Okay, let's go. 998 00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:19,797 You're very good at your job. All right, let's see. 999 00:47:19,797 --> 00:47:22,049 You're gonna definitely have to move some of this furniture. 1000 00:47:22,050 --> 00:47:25,387 It's very sad. Very, very sad couch over there. 1001 00:47:25,387 --> 00:47:27,263 And you're gonna wanna move that up. 1002 00:47:27,262 --> 00:47:30,140 You're gonna have to get rid of literally everything in here. 1003 00:47:30,141 --> 00:47:32,227 This is the saddest couch in the universe. 1004 00:47:32,226 --> 00:47:34,353 That's scientific fact. 1005 00:47:34,353 --> 00:47:37,231 The sad Eiffel Tower, "I'm a girl who studied abroad" painting, 1006 00:47:37,231 --> 00:47:38,565 you'll have to move that. 1007 00:47:38,565 --> 00:47:41,777 -Come on. -You mean, um... 1008 00:47:41,777 --> 00:47:45,030 You mean, we're gonna have to move that. 1009 00:47:45,030 --> 00:47:46,740 What are you talking about? 1010 00:47:48,034 --> 00:47:50,829 -I know that your lease is up. -Okay. 1011 00:47:50,829 --> 00:47:53,665 It's coming up, and you don't like living with roommates... 1012 00:47:53,664 --> 00:47:58,460 -I don't. -But what if you live with me and I was your roommate? 1013 00:48:00,422 --> 00:48:01,923 -Are you askng me to move in with you? -Mm. 1014 00:48:01,922 --> 00:48:04,383 -In front of our new friend? -Yeah. 1015 00:48:04,384 --> 00:48:06,136 -Are you nervous right now? -A little bit. 1016 00:48:06,135 --> 00:48:08,345 I know, I could tell. What do you want me to say? 1017 00:48:08,346 --> 00:48:10,598 -You think I'm gonna say no? -I want you to say yes. 1018 00:48:10,597 --> 00:48:12,766 -Of course I'll say yes! -'Cause I like you so much. 1019 00:48:12,766 --> 00:48:14,643 I like you! I like you so much. 1020 00:48:14,643 --> 00:48:16,562 -What do you mean? Wait. - What? 1021 00:48:16,563 --> 00:48:18,398 -You-- you like him? -Yeah. 1022 00:48:18,398 --> 00:48:19,899 -You like her? -Yeah. 1023 00:48:19,898 --> 00:48:21,233 - Big-time. -Do you love her? 1024 00:48:21,233 --> 00:48:22,943 -Do you love him? 1025 00:48:22,943 --> 00:48:24,486 The first time I'm gonna say it in front of-- 1026 00:48:24,487 --> 00:48:26,823 -He's obsessed with me. -Yeah, I love you. 1027 00:48:26,822 --> 00:48:30,159 -I love you too. -Oh, so beautiful! 1028 00:48:30,159 --> 00:48:31,744 We're gonna live in this little shit-hole together. 1029 00:48:31,744 --> 00:48:33,912 Okay, but first, you're gonna have to-- 1030 00:48:33,913 --> 00:48:37,167 first and last month's rent and my commission. 1031 00:48:37,166 --> 00:48:38,542 You know what? Anything for you. 1032 00:48:38,543 --> 00:48:40,503 You're a queen. Come here. 1033 00:48:40,503 --> 00:48:42,547 -You're our girl. - Oh! 1034 00:48:42,547 --> 00:48:44,299 -Oh, that-- that's nice. -Thank you. 1035 00:48:46,217 --> 00:48:47,552 We live here now! 1036 00:48:47,552 --> 00:48:49,721 That's my shitty couch! 1037 00:48:53,349 --> 00:48:56,769 ...to grab your attention with its nice, broad green leaves 1038 00:48:56,769 --> 00:48:58,437 and its air filtering prowess. 1039 00:48:58,438 --> 00:48:59,981 Now give it a little touch. 1040 00:48:59,981 --> 00:49:02,692 -Don't-- no, no, not too much. -Sorry. 1041 00:49:02,692 --> 00:49:04,652 Now it might require a little bit more maintenance 1042 00:49:04,652 --> 00:49:06,404 -than the other plants... -Mm-hmm. 1043 00:49:06,403 --> 00:49:08,697 ...but as we all know, nothing good comes easy, right? 1044 00:49:08,697 --> 00:49:11,950 Ah, ha! Do you have anything from the Jurassic era? 1045 00:49:11,951 --> 00:49:13,661 -You know what, let me check. -I'll look too. 1046 00:49:13,661 --> 00:49:15,497 -Let me see. -I'll give it a quick gander. 1047 00:49:15,496 --> 00:49:17,206 You guys just do your thing. 1048 00:49:17,206 --> 00:49:19,166 I want something that looks like it came out of a movie. 1049 00:49:19,166 --> 00:49:20,751 So you want a fossil? 1050 00:49:20,751 --> 00:49:22,920 I would also want a fossil, but... 1051 00:49:26,757 --> 00:49:28,717 Is there a price tag? 1052 00:49:31,387 --> 00:49:32,846 What's wrong? 1053 00:49:32,847 --> 00:49:34,724 - We have to go now. -Why? 1054 00:49:34,724 --> 00:49:37,477 -I wanted to get the plant. - We have to go now. 1055 00:49:37,476 --> 00:49:39,812 Don't forget, don't forget, don't forget, don't forget. 1056 00:49:39,813 --> 00:49:42,357 -Hey, Bradley! -Who is-- 1057 00:49:42,356 --> 00:49:44,775 Damn, damn... Wendy, Wendy. Okay, basically, listen, here. 1058 00:49:44,775 --> 00:49:46,151 SparkNotes version. 1059 00:49:46,152 --> 00:49:47,904 I dated that guy Bradley over there 1060 00:49:47,903 --> 00:49:49,988 and he basically ghosted me for an unknown reason. 1061 00:49:49,989 --> 00:49:51,741 Maybe it could have been because I texted him a bunch of times. 1062 00:49:51,740 --> 00:49:53,283 I'm not sure, but he's here, so we're gonna say hi. 1063 00:49:53,284 --> 00:49:54,577 -All right. -We're gonna be fierce. 1064 00:49:54,577 --> 00:49:57,539 Be the better version of you. 1065 00:49:57,539 --> 00:49:59,666 -Hey! -Hello! 1066 00:49:59,666 --> 00:50:01,334 Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. 1067 00:50:01,333 --> 00:50:03,043 I was blind, but now I see. 1068 00:50:03,043 --> 00:50:04,920 -I see you. -Duh, missed it, missed it. 1069 00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,923 Sorry, that was aggressive. 1070 00:50:07,923 --> 00:50:09,925 -Hi, what's up? - Kind of insensitive, given the climate. 1071 00:50:09,925 --> 00:50:11,760 -Okay. -How are you? 1072 00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,346 Good. I mean, I don't know, how is the sun, you know? 1073 00:50:14,347 --> 00:50:17,642 How is the sky? It's grateful and expansive. 1074 00:50:17,641 --> 00:50:20,102 -Thank you, Father, up there. - Thank you. 1075 00:50:20,103 --> 00:50:21,855 Thank you for asking me. How are you? 1076 00:50:21,855 --> 00:50:24,607 -I'm amazing. Look, I'm-- -Come here, come here. 1077 00:50:24,606 --> 00:50:27,443 -Oh, okay. -Mm. 1078 00:50:27,443 --> 00:50:30,362 Mm, yeah, it is you, it is you. Sorry, sorry, sorry. 1079 00:50:30,362 --> 00:50:32,239 Brad, baby, I found one. 1080 00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:33,574 Oh, Erica. 1081 00:50:33,574 --> 00:50:35,451 Hey, uh, this is Wendy, actually. 1082 00:50:35,452 --> 00:50:37,370 -Oh, hi. -Hi. 1083 00:50:37,369 --> 00:50:39,496 - Hi... - Hey. 1084 00:50:39,496 --> 00:50:41,999 She looks just like you. 1085 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,753 -Oh, stop, that's so-- -You're so sweet. 1086 00:50:44,753 --> 00:50:46,504 This is Milo. Sorry, this is Milo. 1087 00:50:46,503 --> 00:50:48,547 -He's, um... He's my friend. -Yeah, hey. What's up? 1088 00:50:48,547 --> 00:50:50,674 He's my, um, sex friend. 1089 00:50:50,675 --> 00:50:53,261 -Yeah, by contract. -By contract, by contract. 1090 00:50:53,260 --> 00:50:55,512 Well, Erica's my fiancée. 1091 00:50:55,512 --> 00:50:56,972 So, we're waiting. 1092 00:50:56,972 --> 00:50:58,640 Just kidding! We're freaks! 1093 00:50:58,641 --> 00:51:00,894 Wow! Did you hear that, Milo? 1094 00:51:00,893 --> 00:51:02,853 He has a fiancée now. 1095 00:51:02,853 --> 00:51:04,980 That's crazy! It's wild! 1096 00:51:04,981 --> 00:51:07,984 I just-- I remember you kind of saying something along the lines 1097 00:51:07,983 --> 00:51:10,819 of, "Hey, you know, Wendy, I don't wanna date you anymore. 1098 00:51:10,820 --> 00:51:12,447 I wanna date myself and be single." 1099 00:51:12,447 --> 00:51:14,824 And I was like, "Oh, cool, you go do that." 1100 00:51:14,824 --> 00:51:17,660 Well, last time you saw me, I was like... "Whoo!" 1101 00:51:17,659 --> 00:51:19,620 -You know? That was me! - Yes, yes. 1102 00:51:19,621 --> 00:51:22,123 But not anymore, not anymore, 'cause I was looking. 1103 00:51:22,123 --> 00:51:23,750 I was searching, I was searching. 1104 00:51:23,750 --> 00:51:25,584 But, you know, the universe provides, right? 1105 00:51:25,585 --> 00:51:27,545 "I was trying to date myself," you know, 1106 00:51:27,545 --> 00:51:29,255 what an egotistical thing to say. 1107 00:51:29,255 --> 00:51:31,299 -No, babe, that was your past. -That was my past. 1108 00:51:31,298 --> 00:51:33,842 Then they put us together at the singles' table 1109 00:51:33,842 --> 00:51:36,136 at a mutual friend's wedding and, um... 1110 00:51:36,137 --> 00:51:38,056 I don't know how to describe it, we just fell in love. 1111 00:51:38,056 --> 00:51:39,974 We just fell in love. 1112 00:51:39,974 --> 00:51:41,893 I'm so happy to say that out loud. 1113 00:51:41,893 --> 00:51:44,562 - It still gets me. Oh, my God. -Yeah, baby. 1114 00:51:44,561 --> 00:51:46,105 Isn't that great? 1115 00:51:46,106 --> 00:51:47,482 -Wow. -We found the energy. 1116 00:51:47,481 --> 00:51:48,982 -Isn't that great? -That's great. 1117 00:51:49,192 --> 00:51:53,697 You know what that is? That's rollover feelings. 1118 00:51:56,657 --> 00:51:59,326 It's like rollover minutes, but with feelings. 1119 00:52:00,161 --> 00:52:01,371 Huh. 1120 00:52:02,121 --> 00:52:05,708 It's like rollover minutes, but it's with feelings 1121 00:52:05,708 --> 00:52:07,960 and you got the family plan of feelings. 1122 00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,045 -Like the phone plan! -Oh, my God, oh, my God! 1123 00:52:10,045 --> 00:52:12,589 -I'm gonna roll over with laughter from that. -Yeah, oh, my God! 1124 00:52:12,590 --> 00:52:15,552 You jokester. So charming. He's funny. 1125 00:52:15,552 --> 00:52:17,470 You're very funny. What does he do? 1126 00:52:17,469 --> 00:52:19,680 -It's a new bit I'm working on. -He's a comedian. 1127 00:52:19,681 --> 00:52:21,349 -Oh, I love Canadians. -Me too. 1128 00:52:21,349 --> 00:52:23,268 That's so cool. They are very funny. 1129 00:52:23,268 --> 00:52:25,478 I have some rollover feelings about a coffee table there. 1130 00:52:25,478 --> 00:52:28,106 -Yeah. Oh, my God! -I'm sorry, I stole your joke. 1131 00:52:28,106 --> 00:52:29,566 -Mee-lo? -Milo. 1132 00:52:29,565 --> 00:52:31,108 -Milo, great. Okay. -Milo. 1133 00:52:31,108 --> 00:52:32,818 - Bless you. -Yeah. 1134 00:52:32,818 --> 00:52:34,820 Uh, good luck with the sex. It sounds fantastic. 1135 00:52:34,820 --> 00:52:36,238 -Bye. - Goodbye. 1136 00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:38,366 Blessings to you. 1137 00:52:38,365 --> 00:52:40,242 After running into Bradley, 1138 00:52:40,242 --> 00:52:43,454 Wendy was visited by Ghost of Boyfriends Past. 1139 00:52:43,454 --> 00:52:46,582 Always the heartbroken and never the heartbreaker, 1140 00:52:46,583 --> 00:52:48,543 it finally clicked. 1141 00:52:48,543 --> 00:52:53,173 To never feel heartbreak again, she need only do one thing. 1142 00:53:00,429 --> 00:53:03,849 On a different phone screen, with no new matches, 1143 00:53:03,849 --> 00:53:06,643 Milo made a life-changing decision. 1144 00:53:19,865 --> 00:53:21,700 As both were down on dating, 1145 00:53:21,701 --> 00:53:24,537 Milo and Wendy visited Tompkins Square Park, 1146 00:53:24,536 --> 00:53:27,873 New York's breakup hot spot, to relieve some despair 1147 00:53:27,873 --> 00:53:31,710 via people who were full of even more resentment than they were. 1148 00:53:31,710 --> 00:53:33,921 "You don't take my food blogging seriously." 1149 00:53:33,922 --> 00:53:36,091 "I would love to take your food blogging seriously, 1150 00:53:36,090 --> 00:53:39,593 but you literally only blog things I'm allergic to, I can't eat." 1151 00:53:39,594 --> 00:53:41,721 "Uh, yeah, I blog things that you're allergic to 1152 00:53:41,721 --> 00:53:44,307 because I wanna raise awareness around your allergy." 1153 00:53:44,306 --> 00:53:47,059 -"Oh, babe, I need you to stop crying." -"I'm not crying." 1154 00:53:47,059 --> 00:53:49,061 -"You're always crying." -"I don't always cry." 1155 00:53:49,061 --> 00:53:51,063 "Can we just have an adult conversation for once?" 1156 00:53:51,063 --> 00:53:52,731 "We're are having an adult conversation." 1157 00:53:52,731 --> 00:53:55,150 -"Oh, my God." -"Stop. Stop it." 1158 00:53:55,150 --> 00:53:57,194 "I literally can't. I need to go have a beer." 1159 00:53:57,195 --> 00:53:59,280 -"You're just not emotionally vulnerable like I am." -"I am!" 1160 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:00,907 "And that's something that you need to work on." 1161 00:54:00,907 --> 00:54:02,909 "I bought the journal like you told me to." 1162 00:54:02,909 --> 00:54:05,161 -"I bought it!" -"You never use it, 'cause I've read it." 1163 00:54:05,161 --> 00:54:08,331 You ever think about how now it's so easy to break up with someone? 1164 00:54:08,331 --> 00:54:10,166 Back in the day, what? 1165 00:54:10,166 --> 00:54:14,921 You had to, like, show up to their house, do it in person. 1166 00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:18,090 Now you can just... "It's not workin' out, slanty face." 1167 00:54:18,090 --> 00:54:22,720 I, for such an occasion, have a pre-written breakup text. 1168 00:54:22,721 --> 00:54:24,806 -Like a template? -Yeah. 1169 00:54:24,806 --> 00:54:26,182 -Seriously? -Yeah. 1170 00:54:26,181 --> 00:54:27,808 -Show me. -No. 1171 00:54:27,809 --> 00:54:29,310 Why? 1172 00:54:29,309 --> 00:54:30,686 Fine. 1173 00:54:30,686 --> 00:54:32,312 -You ready? -Lay it on me, yes. 1174 00:54:32,313 --> 00:54:34,607 -Break up with me, break my heart. -Okay. 1175 00:54:36,735 --> 00:54:39,779 "Hey, insert name there, 1176 00:54:39,778 --> 00:54:42,031 thank you so much for the last couple of dates. 1177 00:54:42,032 --> 00:54:44,409 They were really fun. 1178 00:54:44,409 --> 00:54:47,787 Unfortunately, I feel more of a friend vibe going, 1179 00:54:47,786 --> 00:54:50,372 but you're such a great person, and I really hope 1180 00:54:50,373 --> 00:54:53,293 that you have a great future and a successful year." 1181 00:54:53,293 --> 00:54:54,711 -That's it? -That's it. 1182 00:54:54,710 --> 00:54:57,212 You feel more of a friend vibe going? 1183 00:54:57,213 --> 00:54:58,715 If I got that after a date, I'd be like, 1184 00:54:58,715 --> 00:55:00,175 "Oh, great, they wanna see me again." 1185 00:55:00,175 --> 00:55:03,178 -What? -Yeah, that doesn't seem bad. 1186 00:55:03,177 --> 00:55:06,138 I think you're the only person that would read that text that way. 1187 00:55:06,139 --> 00:55:07,849 Honestly, just ghost me. 1188 00:55:07,849 --> 00:55:10,977 I'm not even... I don't wanna even get the text. 1189 00:55:10,976 --> 00:55:14,563 Just let me spiral, let me make up my own story. 1190 00:55:14,563 --> 00:55:17,524 -Let me write that in my Noteshelf. -Okay, I keep it in mine. 1191 00:55:17,525 --> 00:55:19,652 "Ghost Milo." 1192 00:55:19,652 --> 00:55:21,863 It's just every time I've liked someone, they've ghosted me. 1193 00:55:21,862 --> 00:55:25,616 And at this point, fine, I'll just be single forever. 1194 00:55:25,617 --> 00:55:28,995 -Are you kidding? -It's like, what am I-- what am I doing? 1195 00:55:30,204 --> 00:55:35,959 You are smart, and funny, and kind, and inspiring, 1196 00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:39,673 and hard-working, and determined, and passionate. 1197 00:55:41,757 --> 00:55:43,467 You're gonna be just fine. 1198 00:55:47,597 --> 00:55:48,598 Okay. 1199 00:55:50,307 --> 00:55:51,892 -That was a good pep talk. -Thank you. 1200 00:55:51,893 --> 00:55:53,436 I think I know what I want now. 1201 00:55:54,813 --> 00:55:56,022 What is that? 1202 00:55:57,481 --> 00:55:59,608 "I think I'm gonna be a food blogger and..." 1203 00:55:59,608 --> 00:56:00,609 "You're gonna be a food blogger?" 1204 00:56:01,945 --> 00:56:03,780 "I'm gonna start by blogging about this brunch we're going to." 1205 00:56:03,780 --> 00:56:05,949 -"I'm all about brunch." -"It's gonna be so good." 1206 00:56:05,949 --> 00:56:09,202 "It's gonna be so good, right? It's gonna be so good." 1207 00:56:09,202 --> 00:56:10,870 -"You want a ride?" -"Okay, go." 1208 00:56:12,121 --> 00:56:14,164 To blogging! 1209 00:56:15,166 --> 00:56:18,003 - Oh, my God. - Your curls are literally perfect today. 1210 00:56:18,003 --> 00:56:20,964 -Can I touch one? -Yes, every curl has a story. 1211 00:56:20,963 --> 00:56:23,173 Does it? Tell me this one's story. 1212 00:56:23,173 --> 00:56:24,925 What happened to this one? 1213 00:56:24,925 --> 00:56:27,761 -He is a first-generation college student. -Mm-hmm. 1214 00:56:27,762 --> 00:56:30,181 And he is going to be taking care of his family. 1215 00:56:30,181 --> 00:56:33,977 -Oh, sad. -Which is so-- But he really takes pride in it. 1216 00:56:33,976 --> 00:56:35,894 He really takes pride and enjoys it. 1217 00:56:35,894 --> 00:56:39,273 -Get another one. -All right, I want this one. 1218 00:56:39,273 --> 00:56:42,317 - That one is a billionaire, actually. -Okay. 1219 00:56:42,318 --> 00:56:45,572 All the other curls hate him. - That makes sense. 1220 00:56:45,572 --> 00:56:47,032 -That's makes sense. -Yeah. 1221 00:56:47,032 --> 00:56:48,575 Like the Daddy Warbucks. 1222 00:56:48,574 --> 00:56:50,534 I don't know why I'm referencing musicals today. 1223 00:56:50,534 --> 00:56:52,453 What's going on here? 1224 00:56:53,663 --> 00:56:55,415 -What? -What? 1225 00:56:55,414 --> 00:56:57,958 You decided to sit on the same side of the booth. 1226 00:56:57,958 --> 00:57:00,669 It's kind of a pretty big booth. 1227 00:57:00,670 --> 00:57:03,882 Uh, would-- yeah, well, if we sat right there, 1228 00:57:03,882 --> 00:57:06,259 we'd be closing ourselves off from the world. 1229 00:57:06,259 --> 00:57:08,845 Exactly, I like to look. Like, "Oh, hey, what's up?" 1230 00:57:08,844 --> 00:57:10,763 Oh, look, that guy-- that's a great coat. 1231 00:57:10,764 --> 00:57:12,265 -Maybe I wanna get that coat. -Wow. 1232 00:57:12,264 --> 00:57:14,600 -Oh, a taxi! -Oh, look, there's a taxi. 1233 00:57:14,601 --> 00:57:16,561 We're taking in New York. 1234 00:57:16,561 --> 00:57:19,064 Also, the seat creases there. I don't wanna sit in the sink. 1235 00:57:19,063 --> 00:57:20,647 If you don't like the streets, don't live in New York. 1236 00:57:20,648 --> 00:57:22,400 Also, I like to look at you in the eye. 1237 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:24,361 I like to have a conversation with you eye to eye. 1238 00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:26,737 Are you gonna pull up a chair right there and then-- 1239 00:57:26,737 --> 00:57:28,113 Exactly! Exactly, that's so rude. 1240 00:57:28,447 --> 00:57:31,158 - It only makes sense. -Something's different. 1241 00:57:33,911 --> 00:57:36,288 You guys are more into each other than you were before. 1242 00:57:39,958 --> 00:57:42,920 -That-- I mean, yeah. - No. 1243 00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:44,713 It's, uh... 1244 00:57:44,713 --> 00:57:47,049 You've noticed that we have a... 1245 00:57:47,050 --> 00:57:48,677 -Have a freelance. -We upgraded. 1246 00:57:48,677 --> 00:57:51,221 We're freelancing an upgraded relationship. 1247 00:57:51,221 --> 00:57:52,722 Yeah, a freelance relationship. 1248 00:57:52,722 --> 00:57:56,059 Oh, a free-- a freelance relationship? 1249 00:57:56,059 --> 00:57:57,727 Funny you should ask because... 1250 00:57:57,726 --> 00:58:01,313 Because a freelance relationship is, uh... 1251 00:58:01,313 --> 00:58:04,900 a relationship where you are... 1252 00:58:04,900 --> 00:58:07,736 Given your status, you have a fair amount of benefits. 1253 00:58:07,737 --> 00:58:10,073 You have a certain amount of relationship benefits. 1254 00:58:10,072 --> 00:58:14,660 Benefits that you can take, and you leave the awful ones. 1255 00:58:14,661 --> 00:58:16,746 So it's friends without benefits. 1256 00:58:16,746 --> 00:58:19,958 Depending on your employer and your insurance package. 1257 00:58:19,958 --> 00:58:21,626 -Boom. -It's a bit I'm working on. 1258 00:58:21,626 --> 00:58:23,670 -You got yours wallet-size? -I did, actually. 1259 00:58:23,670 --> 00:58:26,006 -It's really nice. Here, I made you one too. -Oh, thank you. 1260 00:58:27,132 --> 00:58:28,967 Let me see this. 1261 00:58:28,967 --> 00:58:30,301 And look, laminated. 1262 00:58:30,300 --> 00:58:32,386 You went to Staples, 1263 00:58:32,387 --> 00:58:34,014 and took a little piece of paper, 1264 00:58:34,014 --> 00:58:35,849 and made them laminate it? 1265 00:58:35,849 --> 00:58:38,226 -Why are you so invested? -What is this? Do you litigate? 1266 00:58:38,226 --> 00:58:40,437 Okay, can you guys stop talking? 1267 00:58:41,353 --> 00:58:44,440 I called you here today because, um... 1268 00:58:53,615 --> 00:58:54,700 Yes! 1269 00:58:55,952 --> 00:58:57,328 Yes! 1270 00:58:57,327 --> 00:58:59,872 Yes, put it on, put it on! 1271 00:58:59,873 --> 00:59:02,917 -Okay, seriously, though, that is-- -That is-- 1272 00:59:02,916 --> 00:59:04,293 Amazing! 1273 00:59:04,293 --> 00:59:06,837 Yeah, I'm gonna ask her on Thanksgiving. 1274 00:59:06,838 --> 00:59:09,049 -Wow. -You wanna touch the box? 1275 00:59:09,048 --> 00:59:11,175 -Yeah, it's velvet. -This whole relationship 1276 00:59:11,175 --> 00:59:13,969 is moving at seventh grade speeds. 1277 00:59:13,969 --> 00:59:15,929 -Yeah, we're doing... -It is, kind of. 1278 00:59:20,976 --> 00:59:23,645 Is it messed up if... 1279 00:59:24,646 --> 00:59:26,190 Huh, okay. 1280 00:59:26,190 --> 00:59:30,444 Do I owe this girl-- woman a breakup text 1281 00:59:30,445 --> 00:59:33,073 if we only went on one date? 1282 00:59:33,072 --> 00:59:34,740 No. 1283 00:59:34,740 --> 00:59:37,368 Maybe, honestly, if you had sex with her. 1284 00:59:37,369 --> 00:59:39,371 -Did you have sex with her? -No. 1285 00:59:39,371 --> 00:59:41,664 Well, then you don't really need to explain anything. 1286 00:59:41,664 --> 00:59:44,042 It's not really ghosting if there's no sex involved 1287 00:59:44,041 --> 00:59:46,126 or if you went on more than one date. 1288 00:59:47,711 --> 00:59:50,005 Okay, I lied. We had sex, we had sex. 1289 00:59:50,005 --> 00:59:51,548 Then you should probably send a text. 1290 00:59:51,548 --> 00:59:54,009 You should send, like, a simple breakup text. 1291 00:59:54,010 --> 00:59:56,721 But I feel like if I do that, then she's gonna think 1292 00:59:56,721 --> 00:59:59,474 that it's because we had sex, but it's not. 1293 00:59:59,474 --> 01:00:02,769 It's because... I just didn't like her. 1294 01:00:02,768 --> 01:00:03,769 Oh. 1295 01:00:03,769 --> 01:00:05,312 She just... 1296 01:00:05,313 --> 01:00:07,273 I feel like that sounds harsh, but she... 1297 01:00:07,273 --> 01:00:10,110 It does. 1298 01:00:10,110 --> 01:00:14,072 She just wasn't it. She just, she just wasn't it. 1299 01:00:14,072 --> 01:00:17,701 She kept asking what time I was born, and that was the only question 1300 01:00:17,701 --> 01:00:20,120 she asked about my personal life at all. 1301 01:00:20,119 --> 01:00:21,995 The whole date. And then at the end of the night, 1302 01:00:21,996 --> 01:00:24,791 she was like, "Have a wonderful night," 1303 01:00:24,791 --> 01:00:27,961 just like in this weird tone, like Mary Poppins tone. 1304 01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:30,879 -Mm-hmm. -And she lives in Murray Hill, so. 1305 01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:33,091 -Oh, very dramatic. -That is a no. 1306 01:00:33,090 --> 01:00:34,258 Well, why don't you just be like, 1307 01:00:34,259 --> 01:00:38,138 "Hey, you know, date was fine, 1308 01:00:38,137 --> 01:00:41,181 we're better as friends"? 1309 01:00:41,181 --> 01:00:43,934 I don't wanna see her again. I don't wanna see her again. 1310 01:00:43,934 --> 01:00:47,938 Okay, then just be like, "Hey, I'm not looking for anything serious." 1311 01:00:47,938 --> 01:00:50,024 Well, that'd be lying. 1312 01:00:50,025 --> 01:00:53,153 Okay, then just don't say anything at all. 1313 01:00:53,152 --> 01:00:55,362 Okay, settled. I won't say anything. 1314 01:00:55,362 --> 01:00:56,822 -Boom. Nailed it. -Easy. 1315 01:00:59,451 --> 01:01:00,452 Boom. 1316 01:01:01,452 --> 01:01:03,245 Could you pass me a fortune cookie? 1317 01:01:03,246 --> 01:01:05,749 No, it is bad luck to eat a fortune cookie 1318 01:01:05,748 --> 01:01:07,541 before you have finished your meal. 1319 01:01:07,541 --> 01:01:10,502 -Okay. That makes sense. -You're welcome. 1320 01:01:10,503 --> 01:01:14,591 Just gonna... get some dinner running. 1321 01:01:16,384 --> 01:01:19,763 - God. So smooth. 1322 01:01:27,686 --> 01:01:30,939 -What if we became boyfriend and girlfriend? 1323 01:01:30,940 --> 01:01:32,942 Yeah, what if we were boyfriend and girlfriend? 1324 01:01:32,942 --> 01:01:36,112 -No, I'm serious. -It's a great idea. 1325 01:01:36,112 --> 01:01:38,031 What if we were exclusive? 1326 01:01:39,365 --> 01:01:41,116 But you don't want that. 1327 01:01:41,117 --> 01:01:42,202 Yeah, I do. 1328 01:01:43,869 --> 01:01:47,122 Wait, why are-- why are you doing this? 1329 01:01:48,583 --> 01:01:53,171 Because I think that we would be good together? 1330 01:01:53,170 --> 01:01:54,171 Mm-hmm. 1331 01:01:54,922 --> 01:01:57,257 And I like what we're doing. 1332 01:01:58,092 --> 01:02:00,803 You know, we're-- we're-- we have this great thing where 1333 01:02:00,804 --> 01:02:03,390 we're allowed to be single but not be lonely. 1334 01:02:03,389 --> 01:02:06,892 -Like, that's the dream. -Oh, I don't know. 1335 01:02:06,893 --> 01:02:08,353 I feel like we have two different versions 1336 01:02:08,353 --> 01:02:09,938 of what a dream is. 1337 01:02:12,898 --> 01:02:17,820 Okay, well, then maybe we should stop. 1338 01:02:19,155 --> 01:02:20,865 Stop what? 1339 01:02:20,864 --> 01:02:23,784 Stop hanging out, stop talking every day, 1340 01:02:23,784 --> 01:02:27,121 stop watching TV shows together. 1341 01:02:27,121 --> 01:02:28,122 Okay. 1342 01:02:30,833 --> 01:02:34,086 That's cool, but the thing is... 1343 01:02:38,090 --> 01:02:39,383 I love you. 1344 01:02:42,177 --> 01:02:43,178 -I love you. 1345 01:02:44,431 --> 01:02:46,266 I'm sorry. 1346 01:02:46,266 --> 01:02:48,101 You don't love me. 1347 01:02:48,101 --> 01:02:49,644 There's no way, you don't love me! 1348 01:02:49,643 --> 01:02:51,478 How could you love me? 1349 01:02:55,483 --> 01:02:57,819 What do you mean how could I love you? 1350 01:02:57,818 --> 01:03:00,237 What-- we spend so much time together. 1351 01:03:00,237 --> 01:03:04,116 -Milo, Milo, Milo, Milo, Milo, you love everyone. -We're always-- 1352 01:03:04,117 --> 01:03:06,661 You love everyone and everything. 1353 01:03:08,704 --> 01:03:09,788 You're afraid. 1354 01:03:10,914 --> 01:03:12,708 -You're afraid. -Excuse me? 1355 01:03:12,708 --> 01:03:14,918 -You're afraid. -What are you even talking about? 1356 01:03:14,918 --> 01:03:18,047 -You're afraid to be loved. -That's not fair. I'm not afraid. 1357 01:03:18,047 --> 01:03:19,131 You... 1358 01:03:20,925 --> 01:03:25,221 So if it's going good, you like it, you're having a good time, 1359 01:03:25,221 --> 01:03:28,725 which is what you said, we're havin' a good time, what's stopping you? 1360 01:03:28,724 --> 01:03:31,935 Okay, okay, you wanna know what happens? What happens when we date? 1361 01:03:31,936 --> 01:03:33,688 Let's just say we start dating, all right? 1362 01:03:33,688 --> 01:03:36,483 And then suddenly, there are all these expectations 1363 01:03:36,483 --> 01:03:37,859 and they just keep piling, and piling, 1364 01:03:37,858 --> 01:03:39,568 and piling, and piling, and piling, 1365 01:03:39,568 --> 01:03:42,029 and then suddenly, you know, I'm getting mad at you, 1366 01:03:42,030 --> 01:03:44,908 because, you know, you're not, you're not expressing your feelings well enough 1367 01:03:44,907 --> 01:03:47,534 or you don't even wanna come near me, 1368 01:03:47,534 --> 01:03:49,787 because I'm suffocating you all the time. 1369 01:03:49,788 --> 01:03:52,415 And then we finally get to the point where we break up, 1370 01:03:52,414 --> 01:03:54,416 and we never see each other again, 1371 01:03:54,416 --> 01:03:57,753 and we have no friends, and we're just alone. 1372 01:03:59,005 --> 01:04:01,132 That wouldn't happen. 1373 01:04:01,132 --> 01:04:03,259 That wouldn't happen. 1374 01:04:03,259 --> 01:04:04,260 Not to us. 1375 01:04:06,429 --> 01:04:07,847 You're afraid of being alone. 1376 01:04:07,847 --> 01:04:09,099 I'm not afraid of being alone. 1377 01:04:09,099 --> 01:04:10,684 I love bein' alone. 1378 01:04:10,684 --> 01:04:12,977 I've been alone so much. 1379 01:04:12,976 --> 01:04:14,353 I just wanna be alone with you. 1380 01:04:14,353 --> 01:04:16,397 And I wanna be alone alone. 1381 01:05:20,670 --> 01:05:25,258 -I haven't even thought about her in what? Uh, three weeks. 1382 01:05:25,257 --> 01:05:30,387 -I can't even-- it-- it's so far out of mind at this point. -That's great! 1383 01:05:30,387 --> 01:05:33,432 - I can't get Milo out of my head. 1384 01:05:33,432 --> 01:05:36,560 Mm, I'm sorry, it'll pass. Remember, half the time you were together 1385 01:05:36,561 --> 01:05:38,355 equals the time it takes to get over them. 1386 01:05:38,355 --> 01:05:40,774 It's math. I'm basically a scientist. 1387 01:05:40,773 --> 01:05:43,317 We were supposed to be the unsinkable relationship, you know? 1388 01:05:43,318 --> 01:05:46,613 -Like the Titanic. -The Titanic sunk, dude. 1389 01:05:46,612 --> 01:05:48,030 But the love lasts forever. 1390 01:05:48,030 --> 01:05:49,406 I'm worried I made a mistake. 1391 01:05:49,407 --> 01:05:51,910 No, it didn't work out, that's okay. 1392 01:05:51,909 --> 01:05:54,828 Just 'cause it ends doesn't mean it wasn't a successful thing when it was happening. 1393 01:05:54,829 --> 01:05:57,248 -You know what I mean? -Yeah, but what if I didn't give it a real shot? 1394 01:05:57,248 --> 01:05:59,751 -I always do this to myself. -Is this self-sabotage? 1395 01:05:59,751 --> 01:06:01,836 I mean, I really just hope that she found somebody that she likes. 1396 01:06:01,835 --> 01:06:03,962 Like, I'm good, I just hope she's good. 1397 01:06:03,963 --> 01:06:07,008 What? Why are you wishing-- look, look, 1398 01:06:07,007 --> 01:06:09,968 you are being way too hard on yourself, okay? 1399 01:06:09,969 --> 01:06:12,889 You guys weren't supposed to be "not together" together anyways. 1400 01:06:12,889 --> 01:06:15,183 I mean, how can you even break up when-- 1401 01:06:15,182 --> 01:06:17,351 -You weren't even dating. - It's for the best. 1402 01:06:17,351 --> 01:06:19,353 I'm sure he'll just fall in love with the next girl 1403 01:06:19,353 --> 01:06:21,105 he locks eyes with on the L train. 1404 01:06:21,106 --> 01:06:23,858 -Have you spoken to each other? -Have you spoken to her? 1405 01:06:23,858 --> 01:06:25,485 -No. -I accidentally viewed her LinkedIn. 1406 01:06:25,485 --> 01:06:27,904 Well, he viewed my LinkedIn. 1407 01:06:27,903 --> 01:06:29,780 -How is he? -How is she? 1408 01:06:29,780 --> 01:06:32,116 -You'll see her at the wedding. -You'll see him at the wedding. 1409 01:06:32,117 --> 01:06:33,785 -Are you alone? -Wait, who are you talking to? 1410 01:06:33,784 --> 01:06:35,744 -Oh, I'm with Hank. -I'm with Jess. 1411 01:06:35,744 --> 01:06:37,413 -Pi-pa-po. -That's so cute. 1412 01:06:37,414 --> 01:06:38,581 Cute. 1413 01:06:38,581 --> 01:06:40,125 Are you seeing anyone? 1414 01:06:40,125 --> 01:06:41,834 I'm just sort of, like, dating myself right now. 1415 01:06:41,835 --> 01:06:44,921 Yeah, just-- yeah, and I'm really happy about it. 1416 01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:46,547 Yeah, actually, this guy. 1417 01:06:46,547 --> 01:06:48,424 He's in finance, he works constantly, 1418 01:06:48,425 --> 01:06:49,968 and he's completely emotionally unavailable, 1419 01:06:49,967 --> 01:06:52,469 which is perfect, and I'm really happy. 1420 01:06:52,469 --> 01:06:54,096 That's great. 1421 01:06:54,097 --> 01:06:55,682 Dating sucks. 1422 01:06:55,681 --> 01:06:57,933 - Uh-huh. 1423 01:06:58,809 --> 01:06:59,810 Absolutely. 1424 01:07:00,728 --> 01:07:05,107 Well, we can definitely be there Monday if we have to. 1425 01:07:05,108 --> 01:07:07,527 I would never say we won't. 1426 01:07:07,527 --> 01:07:09,154 Okay. 1427 01:07:09,153 --> 01:07:11,155 Absolutamente. 1428 01:07:11,155 --> 01:07:13,157 No, we're delighted. 1429 01:07:13,157 --> 01:07:14,950 You kidding me? This is great! 1430 01:07:14,951 --> 01:07:17,495 -So, hey. - This was Trent Wilkinson, 1431 01:07:17,494 --> 01:07:21,081 an incredibly emotionally unavailable 34-year-old 1432 01:07:21,081 --> 01:07:24,626 who lied about his age to make the Feingold 30 Under 30 list 1433 01:07:24,626 --> 01:07:28,881 for selling his sock company, GotSoxx, spelt with two Xs. 1434 01:07:28,882 --> 01:07:31,885 He DM'd Wendy on Instagram after finding her geo tag 1435 01:07:31,885 --> 01:07:33,803 at Surf Lodge in Montauk. 1436 01:07:33,802 --> 01:07:36,263 Wendy had spent the last three weekends 1437 01:07:36,264 --> 01:07:37,932 at Trent's apartment in Tribeca 1438 01:07:37,931 --> 01:07:40,476 and even had her own toothbrush. 1439 01:07:40,476 --> 01:07:44,480 Attention, uh, Kmart shoppers, I'm gonna be presenting 1440 01:07:44,481 --> 01:07:47,233 to, like, a whole bunch of restaurant groups 1441 01:07:47,233 --> 01:07:49,277 because they said that my app is brilliant. 1442 01:07:49,277 --> 01:07:52,614 -Wow! That's amazing! That's so amazing! -Yeah! I know. 1443 01:07:52,614 --> 01:07:55,116 Oh, my God! I mean, it is brilliant and you're brilliant. 1444 01:07:55,115 --> 01:07:57,242 -Yeah. Makes sense right? -Yeah. It does. 1445 01:07:57,242 --> 01:08:00,245 -But, yeah. -It makes perfect sense. When are you, um, leaving, then? 1446 01:08:00,246 --> 01:08:04,459 Uh, it's, like, Sunday. 1447 01:08:05,418 --> 01:08:07,295 Sunday night. 1448 01:08:07,295 --> 01:08:09,881 Sunday, like tomorrow? 1449 01:08:09,880 --> 01:08:13,175 Uh, yeah. 1450 01:08:13,175 --> 01:08:16,053 -Tomorrow, uh-- tomorrow night. -Awesome. 1451 01:08:16,054 --> 01:08:18,431 Awesome, and how long are you gonna be gone? 1452 01:08:18,430 --> 01:08:21,100 They said, uh, it was gonna be like meetings, 1453 01:08:21,100 --> 01:08:22,976 and greetings, and stuff like that 1454 01:08:22,976 --> 01:08:25,145 for, like, a couple of weeks. 1455 01:08:25,145 --> 01:08:26,438 -Wow! -Yeah. 1456 01:08:26,439 --> 01:08:28,733 -That's amazing! -Yeah. 1457 01:08:28,733 --> 01:08:32,570 No, I know, it just, uh, maybe we could, like, uh, 1458 01:08:33,529 --> 01:08:37,449 just kinda slow her down a little bit. 1459 01:08:37,783 --> 01:08:40,369 Yeah, I-- I know. I-- yeah, I mean. 1460 01:08:40,369 --> 01:08:45,082 Just, like, pull the car over for a bit. 1461 01:08:45,291 --> 01:08:47,085 -Oh. -Bad metaphor. 1462 01:08:47,085 --> 01:08:48,461 Uh, just slow down. 1463 01:08:52,673 --> 01:08:55,217 While Wendy sold all her stock in Trent, 1464 01:08:55,217 --> 01:08:57,261 Milo was three stops into the one 1465 01:08:57,261 --> 01:09:00,556 on his way to a John Mayer concert. 1466 01:09:00,556 --> 01:09:04,059 Did I tell you about the time that I got a fortune cookie? 1467 01:09:04,060 --> 01:09:06,938 -No fortune in the fortune cookie. -No. 1468 01:09:06,938 --> 01:09:11,901 Her name was Jenna Brookes, and she was a recent graduate of NYU's Gallatin program 1469 01:09:11,900 --> 01:09:15,195 where she wrote her thesis on the life, death, and rebirth 1470 01:09:15,195 --> 01:09:18,282 of chivalry in millennial dating culture. 1471 01:09:18,283 --> 01:09:20,535 Yeah, there was no fortune in the fortune cookie. 1472 01:09:20,534 --> 01:09:23,287 -That's crazy, yeah. -That's crazy. 1473 01:09:23,287 --> 01:09:25,164 -What's wrong? 1474 01:09:25,164 --> 01:09:26,582 -Nothing. No. -Something's wrong, what's wrong? 1475 01:09:26,582 --> 01:09:28,751 -No, I'm excited. -No, you're not. 1476 01:09:28,752 --> 01:09:30,462 -Yes, I am. -You're not excited, something's up. 1477 01:09:30,462 --> 01:09:32,213 -No. -We're going to see John Mayer. 1478 01:09:32,212 --> 01:09:35,049 -Yay! -You don't seem stoked. 1479 01:09:35,050 --> 01:09:37,218 -No, I'm excited. -Something's wrong. 1480 01:09:37,217 --> 01:09:39,553 ♪ Something is wrong ♪ 1481 01:09:39,554 --> 01:09:40,847 I'm not going to stop bothering you 1482 01:09:40,846 --> 01:09:42,473 until you tell me what's wrong. 1483 01:09:42,474 --> 01:09:45,226 I think-- I think we want different things. 1484 01:09:45,225 --> 01:09:46,393 What? 1485 01:09:46,394 --> 01:09:47,687 What, what do you mean? 1486 01:09:47,686 --> 01:09:49,480 What are you talking about? 1487 01:09:49,480 --> 01:09:52,316 I don't-- I don't think I see a future with us. 1488 01:09:55,319 --> 01:09:56,320 No. 1489 01:09:57,363 --> 01:09:58,906 You FaceTimed my mom. 1490 01:09:58,907 --> 01:10:00,533 -Yes, that was-- -I let you FaceTime my mom. 1491 01:10:00,533 --> 01:10:02,202 Well, she's wonderful. I loved her! 1492 01:10:02,202 --> 01:10:04,204 Oh, I wish that we-- I love her. 1493 01:10:04,203 --> 01:10:05,746 The next stop is Heartbreak Boulevard. 1494 01:10:05,747 --> 01:10:09,042 I think you, uh, I like you. 1495 01:10:09,042 --> 01:10:11,544 You deserve someone great, so... 1496 01:10:16,091 --> 01:10:19,052 No, I'm sorry, I don't wanna kiss you. 1497 01:10:19,051 --> 01:10:20,386 Okay, don't cry. 1498 01:10:20,386 --> 01:10:22,096 I have to-- I have to go. 1499 01:10:22,096 --> 01:10:23,847 - Dang it! 1500 01:10:23,847 --> 01:10:25,432 Things turn around, they change. 1501 01:10:25,432 --> 01:10:27,976 That sounds like it should be encouraging, 1502 01:10:27,976 --> 01:10:30,270 but it's actually really depressing. 1503 01:10:30,270 --> 01:10:32,231 Okay, new topic. 1504 01:10:32,231 --> 01:10:35,275 Uh, the podcast thing. The podcast thing. 1505 01:10:35,275 --> 01:10:37,945 Did you-- did you start it? You should start it. 1506 01:10:37,945 --> 01:10:41,073 Yeah. Yeah, I'm probably gonna do some, some episodes. 1507 01:10:41,073 --> 01:10:43,200 I just gotta get a microphone, 1508 01:10:43,201 --> 01:10:44,786 and then come up with some ideas 1509 01:10:44,786 --> 01:10:46,830 for episodes and the podcast. 1510 01:10:46,829 --> 01:10:48,997 Well, here's an idea. You should have me on as a guest. 1511 01:10:48,997 --> 01:10:50,958 Maybe not like your first guest out of the gate, 1512 01:10:50,958 --> 01:10:53,377 but let me-- I quit this place, 1513 01:10:53,377 --> 01:10:55,796 I'm gonna spill all the tea on everybody. 1514 01:10:55,796 --> 01:10:57,506 I mean, there's some stuff that's going on in here 1515 01:10:57,506 --> 01:10:59,049 that I think the listeners 1516 01:10:59,050 --> 01:11:00,677 would wanna know. 1517 01:11:00,676 --> 01:11:02,344 -Oh. -Yeah. 1518 01:11:02,345 --> 01:11:04,806 Come on, man, I miss you smilin'. 1519 01:11:04,805 --> 01:11:05,889 You're, like, one of the few reasons 1520 01:11:05,890 --> 01:11:07,183 why I stay in this place. 1521 01:11:07,182 --> 01:11:08,434 The phone never stops here-- 1522 01:11:08,435 --> 01:11:11,312 -Front desk. 1523 01:11:11,311 --> 01:11:12,563 At a bar in Hell's Kitchen, 1524 01:11:12,564 --> 01:11:14,232 where she would never return, 1525 01:11:14,231 --> 01:11:16,233 Wendy listened to a man she met at Whole Foods 1526 01:11:16,234 --> 01:11:18,361 talk about his screenplay that would never get made. 1527 01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:20,070 Yeah, so the script's back at my place 1528 01:11:20,070 --> 01:11:22,865 -if you wanna come read it. -So this is really fun. 1529 01:11:22,865 --> 01:11:26,285 Um, I might-- I'm gonna go to the bathroom first before that. 1530 01:11:26,286 --> 01:11:29,289 -Lovely invite, thank you. -We can go right now. 1531 01:11:29,288 --> 01:11:31,582 -I'm actually right around the corner. -Um... yeah. 1532 01:11:31,582 --> 01:11:33,125 You know, uh, I could play the lead or, 1533 01:11:33,126 --> 01:11:34,961 -or you could play the lead. -Yep. 1534 01:11:34,961 --> 01:11:38,173 -It's sort of a strong female heroine. -Yep. 1535 01:11:38,172 --> 01:11:40,507 And, you know, we're thinking... 1536 01:11:44,429 --> 01:11:46,139 Hello, hello, hello. 1537 01:11:46,139 --> 01:11:49,309 I only got about five, so let's keep 'em comin'. 1538 01:11:49,309 --> 01:11:51,102 Hey, hey, yeah, um, okay, um, 1539 01:11:51,101 --> 01:11:52,436 so who paid for dinner? 1540 01:11:52,436 --> 01:11:54,146 He did, but I did offer to split, 1541 01:11:54,146 --> 01:11:55,939 and then he insisted on doing it, 1542 01:11:55,939 --> 01:11:57,691 so I was like, "Whatever, this is terrible anyway." 1543 01:11:57,692 --> 01:11:59,527 Will you ever see him again? 1544 01:11:59,527 --> 01:12:01,321 You know, I like to go into these things open-minded. 1545 01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:03,697 You know, if it goes well, it goes well, but-- 1546 01:12:03,698 --> 01:12:05,241 Look, we all know dating sucks, 1547 01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:06,450 but wouldn't you just rather be with Milo 1548 01:12:06,451 --> 01:12:07,952 than keep this up? 1549 01:12:11,081 --> 01:12:14,751 Is this an interview or is it a therapy session? 1550 01:12:14,751 --> 01:12:16,961 -Thank you so much, goodnight. 1551 01:14:40,979 --> 01:14:43,816 So, Milo, you just got your heart broken. 1552 01:14:43,817 --> 01:14:46,986 How are you feeling? What's going through your mind right now? 1553 01:14:46,985 --> 01:14:49,697 Uh, thanks for having me, I'm really excited to be here. 1554 01:14:49,698 --> 01:14:52,325 I am completely dead inside. 1555 01:14:52,324 --> 01:14:54,743 I feel nothing. 1556 01:14:54,743 --> 01:14:57,996 I feel like a no one, a nobody. 1557 01:14:57,997 --> 01:15:01,584 I haven't showered in a long time. 1558 01:15:01,583 --> 01:15:03,877 Wow, that's amazing! 1559 01:15:03,877 --> 01:15:07,006 Everybody, give it up for this guy, he's so good. 1560 01:15:07,006 --> 01:15:10,300 So are you wondering why maybe the breakup happened? 1561 01:15:10,301 --> 01:15:11,803 Do you think it's something that you said 1562 01:15:11,802 --> 01:15:13,512 or maybe something that you didn't say 1563 01:15:13,512 --> 01:15:16,515 or are you just totally broken as a human being? 1564 01:15:16,515 --> 01:15:19,685 I'm sort of like a cracked iPhone screen right now. 1565 01:15:19,685 --> 01:15:24,148 Yeah, you could fix me, but it's probably best to just upgrade to the next 1566 01:15:24,149 --> 01:15:26,693 and better thing. 1567 01:15:26,693 --> 01:15:29,654 All right, everybody, that's all the time that we have. 1568 01:15:29,654 --> 01:15:31,406 Give it up again for Milo. 1569 01:15:31,405 --> 01:15:34,825 He's so good, he's so funny, isn't he great? 1570 01:15:34,826 --> 01:15:35,952 Isn't he amazing? 1571 01:15:35,952 --> 01:15:38,163 Isn't he great? 1572 01:15:38,162 --> 01:15:39,455 Isn't he so good? 1573 01:15:39,456 --> 01:15:42,250 Milo's so great, he's so good! 1574 01:15:42,250 --> 01:15:43,250 Isn't he great? 1575 01:15:43,251 --> 01:15:44,711 Isn't he amazing? 1576 01:15:44,711 --> 01:15:46,171 Isn't he great? 1577 01:15:46,171 --> 01:15:48,048 Isn't he amazing, isn't he so good? 1578 01:15:48,047 --> 01:15:49,173 Such a good catch. 1579 01:15:49,173 --> 01:15:51,508 So funny, so good, so funny. 1580 01:15:51,509 --> 01:15:55,096 You're strong, you care, you're a catch, you're humble. 1581 01:15:55,095 --> 01:15:56,638 You're-- you're underappreciated. 1582 01:15:56,639 --> 01:16:01,269 You, um... You're trying. 1583 01:16:01,269 --> 01:16:05,732 You're trying, you're trying, you're, um... 1584 01:16:07,024 --> 01:16:08,942 Ugh, I love New York. 1585 01:16:08,943 --> 01:16:10,487 The only place where you can get toilet paper, 1586 01:16:10,487 --> 01:16:11,738 a toothbrush, and a turkey bacon sandwich 1587 01:16:11,738 --> 01:16:13,656 all in one place. 1588 01:16:13,655 --> 01:16:17,159 This is a decent one, but I really like a "bougdega" 1589 01:16:17,159 --> 01:16:19,203 -instead of just a plain bodega. - Oh, no. 1590 01:16:19,203 --> 01:16:21,246 -You know what I'm sayin'? -This is, this is New York. 1591 01:16:21,247 --> 01:16:22,916 -This has everything. -Yes, I know the rent is gonna go up, 1592 01:16:22,916 --> 01:16:25,126 but the gluten-free pasta is kind of worth it. 1593 01:16:25,126 --> 01:16:26,544 Yeah, but I wanna see a cat. 1594 01:16:26,543 --> 01:16:28,671 Oh, planning a wedding is so stressful! 1595 01:16:28,671 --> 01:16:31,298 Come on, man, I don't know why you're so stressed about this. 1596 01:16:31,298 --> 01:16:33,342 You're getting married to the love of your life. 1597 01:16:33,342 --> 01:16:35,219 Didn't you get like a wedding planner or something like that? 1598 01:16:35,220 --> 01:16:36,721 No, do you know how much they cost? 1599 01:16:36,720 --> 01:16:39,056 I watch a lot of wedding videos on YouTube, 1600 01:16:39,056 --> 01:16:42,142 I could do it for like 800. But I do like a minimal fare sort of thing. 1601 01:16:42,143 --> 01:16:44,854 -Yeah, thank you, thank you. -Small invite list. 1602 01:16:44,854 --> 01:16:47,732 an article Which is good, because I read We're doing it together! 1603 01:16:47,731 --> 01:16:49,900 that said that couples that plan together stay together. 1604 01:16:49,900 --> 01:16:51,026 What was that, a late daily? 1605 01:16:51,027 --> 01:16:53,988 No, it was a meme on Instagram. 1606 01:16:53,988 --> 01:16:55,657 How do you know that she's the one? 1607 01:16:55,657 --> 01:16:56,658 Jessie. 1608 01:16:57,867 --> 01:16:59,452 Oh, I don't know. 1609 01:17:00,578 --> 01:17:03,039 I guess I don't think about it. 1610 01:17:03,038 --> 01:17:06,500 I guess we both just don't overthink it. 1611 01:17:06,501 --> 01:17:07,585 Well, what if you're in a relationship 1612 01:17:07,585 --> 01:17:09,629 and you're both like prone 1613 01:17:09,628 --> 01:17:11,964 to overthinking things, then? 1614 01:17:11,965 --> 01:17:13,466 If you need to get over this girl, 1615 01:17:13,466 --> 01:17:15,010 you need to delete all the apps, okay? 1616 01:17:15,010 --> 01:17:17,220 No Venmo, no Instagram. No Twitter, none of it. 1617 01:17:17,220 --> 01:17:18,888 Because if you don't, you'll be getting into this space, 1618 01:17:18,887 --> 01:17:20,681 which is like this weird spiral depression 1619 01:17:20,681 --> 01:17:22,808 Where you become very annoying and a hypochondriac. 1620 01:17:22,809 --> 01:17:25,895 -Did I tell you that I found a lump? -Where'd you find a lump? 1621 01:17:25,895 --> 01:17:27,689 -Right there. -That's your Adam's apple. 1622 01:17:27,689 --> 01:17:29,065 That's not what the internet said. 1623 01:17:29,064 --> 01:17:30,816 -So you're gonna reach out? -No. 1624 01:17:30,817 --> 01:17:32,485 That would just make her mad, so I'm not gonna do it. 1625 01:17:32,484 --> 01:17:34,153 I'm just gonna fall back, give her her space. 1626 01:17:34,154 --> 01:17:35,321 -That's it. -Really? 1627 01:17:35,320 --> 01:17:36,989 No grand romantic gesture? 1628 01:17:36,989 --> 01:17:39,283 That stuff is the take-me-back-culture thing. 1629 01:17:39,283 --> 01:17:41,326 No, that's toxic, it's a disease, 1630 01:17:41,327 --> 01:17:43,246 and I'm gonna be the cure, 1631 01:17:43,246 --> 01:17:45,040 even if that means I never get to tell her that I love her. 1632 01:17:45,039 --> 01:17:46,498 Right, you've told her that you love her. 1633 01:17:46,498 --> 01:17:47,541 Yeah, but I mean tell her I love her 1634 01:17:47,542 --> 01:17:49,336 and mean it, you know? 1635 01:17:49,336 --> 01:17:50,795 Like, I love you. 1636 01:17:50,795 --> 01:17:53,173 Like, like-- what's that? 1637 01:17:53,172 --> 01:17:55,632 -Incense, Jessie loves it. 1638 01:17:55,632 --> 01:17:57,509 She likes bodega incense? 1639 01:17:58,845 --> 01:18:00,680 Wendy cherished New York 1640 01:18:00,680 --> 01:18:02,932 for its endless encounters with the people you love 1641 01:18:02,931 --> 01:18:05,142 and the places you learn to love them. 1642 01:18:33,003 --> 01:18:34,004 Sir. 1643 01:18:37,509 --> 01:18:39,719 By now, you've probably figured out 1644 01:18:39,719 --> 01:18:43,139 that I am that soothing, old voice you've been hearing 1645 01:18:43,139 --> 01:18:45,809 holding your hand through this tale of commitment. 1646 01:18:45,809 --> 01:18:48,895 Did I mention that I also moonlight as a voice-over artist? 1647 01:18:48,895 --> 01:18:51,481 -Hang on. 1648 01:18:51,480 --> 01:18:53,691 -Wendy! -Hey! 1649 01:18:53,692 --> 01:18:56,444 -Hi! -Cole, what are you doing here? 1650 01:18:56,444 --> 01:18:58,363 -My job. -Oh, wow. 1651 01:18:59,238 --> 01:19:00,239 What's up? 1652 01:19:01,990 --> 01:19:03,659 -You okay? -Yeah, I'm great. 1653 01:19:03,659 --> 01:19:05,494 I'm great, I'm not here to see Milo. What? 1654 01:19:05,494 --> 01:19:07,538 -What? -Who said that? 1655 01:19:07,538 --> 01:19:12,084 No, no, I'm here to-- to go to a meeting. 1656 01:19:12,085 --> 01:19:14,421 -I'm here to go to a meeting, a meeting. -Oh, here. 1657 01:19:14,421 --> 01:19:17,298 No, no, no, no, no, just in the area. 1658 01:19:17,798 --> 01:19:20,634 It's this way. Um... It's this way. 1659 01:19:20,635 --> 01:19:22,470 -Okay. -So bye. 1660 01:19:22,470 --> 01:19:23,930 -Bye. -Bye. 1661 01:19:27,016 --> 01:19:30,561 I love a good New York love story. 1662 01:19:30,561 --> 01:19:32,604 The city, you know, it's one of the only places 1663 01:19:32,604 --> 01:19:34,023 where you could-- 1664 01:19:35,108 --> 01:19:36,526 -Hi. -Hi. 1665 01:19:36,525 --> 01:19:37,943 -Um... -What's up? 1666 01:19:37,944 --> 01:19:40,655 Just a quick question. It's nice. 1667 01:19:40,654 --> 01:19:44,575 Um, is Milo, uh, upstairs? 1668 01:19:45,618 --> 01:19:47,328 Yeah, nope. 1669 01:19:47,328 --> 01:19:49,164 I don't think so. 1670 01:19:49,163 --> 01:19:50,998 Oh, cool. Cool. Uh... 1671 01:19:50,998 --> 01:19:52,958 Did he maybe say when he was gonna be back? 1672 01:19:52,958 --> 01:19:54,710 If he's maybe gonna be gone all night 1673 01:19:54,711 --> 01:19:56,963 or just like five more minutes? 1674 01:19:56,962 --> 01:19:58,797 -Wendy. -Right. 1675 01:19:58,797 --> 01:20:00,758 -I hate to be the one to tell you this. -Okay. 1676 01:20:00,759 --> 01:20:03,261 I think he's seeing someone. 1677 01:20:07,556 --> 01:20:08,557 Okay. 1678 01:20:09,934 --> 01:20:10,935 Okay. 1679 01:20:12,354 --> 01:20:13,438 I'll see you. 1680 01:20:14,773 --> 01:20:16,608 I'll see you, Wendy. 1681 01:20:18,318 --> 01:20:21,696 Little did she know that Milo wasn't seeing anybody 1682 01:20:21,695 --> 01:20:24,990 and was, in fact, painfully single. 1683 01:20:24,990 --> 01:20:27,701 And where better to doubt your own singlehood 1684 01:20:27,702 --> 01:20:29,788 than under holy matrimony 1685 01:20:29,787 --> 01:20:31,914 at the very bar in which they met, 1686 01:20:31,914 --> 01:20:34,166 where love filled the air-- 1687 01:20:34,167 --> 01:20:37,337 the wedding of Hank and Jessie. 1688 01:20:37,337 --> 01:20:39,631 I'm not sweaty, it's just really hot. 1689 01:20:39,631 --> 01:20:41,049 Okay, I'm nervous, I'm nervous, I'm nervous. 1690 01:20:41,048 --> 01:20:43,217 Uh, you're gonna do great, man. 1691 01:20:43,217 --> 01:20:44,927 How are you so calm? 1692 01:20:44,927 --> 01:20:47,179 Of course I'm calm. 1693 01:20:47,180 --> 01:20:49,432 I'm marrying the love of my life. 1694 01:20:49,431 --> 01:20:50,933 -I'm proud of you, man. -Thanks. 1695 01:20:50,934 --> 01:20:52,602 I'm so proud of you. I really am. 1696 01:20:52,601 --> 01:20:53,936 So what are you gonna say to her? 1697 01:20:53,936 --> 01:20:55,604 -Who? -Don't "who" me. 1698 01:20:55,604 --> 01:20:57,106 I don't know who you're talking about. 1699 01:20:57,106 --> 01:20:58,107 I love you. 1700 01:20:59,192 --> 01:21:01,861 -Bring it in. -Mm. Thanks. 1701 01:21:01,860 --> 01:21:04,071 And you are not an ugly Jon Hamm, I take it back. 1702 01:21:04,072 --> 01:21:05,615 You are a hot Jon Hamm. 1703 01:22:14,184 --> 01:22:16,019 Everyone, please take your seats. 1704 01:22:18,479 --> 01:22:20,022 The bride and groom would like to share their vows 1705 01:22:20,023 --> 01:22:22,901 with us tonight and with each other. 1706 01:22:22,900 --> 01:22:24,985 -Jessie. -Yeah. 1707 01:22:24,985 --> 01:22:27,821 The first day that I saw you, I pointed at you 1708 01:22:27,822 --> 01:22:30,200 and said, "I am going to marry that girl." 1709 01:22:30,199 --> 01:22:32,159 -I know. 1710 01:22:32,159 --> 01:22:34,036 -Jess, it's my vows. -Okay, sorry. 1711 01:22:34,037 --> 01:22:35,663 -Okay. -You go. 1712 01:22:35,662 --> 01:22:37,790 Mm, no, stop Not yet! Stop, don't do it yet. 1713 01:22:37,791 --> 01:22:39,834 Sorry. 1714 01:22:39,833 --> 01:22:41,293 -Start over. -Okay. 1715 01:22:41,293 --> 01:22:43,128 -Mm-hmm. -First day that happened. 1716 01:22:43,128 --> 01:22:45,214 -Yes. -I was doing it as a joke. 1717 01:22:45,215 --> 01:22:47,884 -Uh-huh. -But you have kept me laughing ever since. 1718 01:22:47,884 --> 01:22:50,595 -Mm-hmm. -I promise to be your best friend 1719 01:22:50,595 --> 01:22:52,931 and to love you always. I love you. 1720 01:22:52,930 --> 01:22:54,598 I love you. 1721 01:22:54,599 --> 01:22:57,435 Hank, a lot of people say that cheesy thing 1722 01:22:57,435 --> 01:22:59,688 where they're like, "I don't always like you, but I love you," 1723 01:22:59,688 --> 01:23:01,773 but I like you and I love you. 1724 01:23:01,773 --> 01:23:05,151 And I don't even care that you always fall asleep 1725 01:23:05,150 --> 01:23:07,069 the second we pick a movie, 1726 01:23:07,069 --> 01:23:08,779 and I don't care that sometimes 1727 01:23:08,779 --> 01:23:10,572 you only respond "ha-ha" to my texts 1728 01:23:10,573 --> 01:23:13,201 and don't add additional info. 1729 01:23:13,201 --> 01:23:15,286 And I really love that we both like that meme 1730 01:23:15,286 --> 01:23:18,707 about birds that look like old ladies wearing hats. 1731 01:23:18,707 --> 01:23:20,333 And I just love you so much 1732 01:23:20,332 --> 01:23:22,835 and I'm the luckiest girl in the world 1733 01:23:22,836 --> 01:23:24,713 that you love me, too. 1734 01:23:24,712 --> 01:23:26,296 Is that good? 1735 01:23:26,296 --> 01:23:27,506 You like that shit? 1736 01:23:30,885 --> 01:23:32,095 Ooh! 1737 01:23:34,055 --> 01:23:35,682 Fashion moment. 1738 01:23:35,681 --> 01:23:37,349 -Same time. -At same time? 1739 01:23:37,350 --> 01:23:40,979 -Okay. -One, two, three. 1740 01:23:40,979 --> 01:23:42,939 You may now kiss the bride. 1741 01:23:47,652 --> 01:23:50,030 All right, let's get drunk. 1742 01:23:58,537 --> 01:24:02,166 ♪ Relive that moon ♪ 1743 01:24:02,167 --> 01:24:06,171 ♪ And starry sky ♪ 1744 01:24:06,171 --> 01:24:11,176 ♪ Heaven writes A lover's song ♪ 1745 01:24:12,886 --> 01:24:19,851 ♪ The reverie of happy dreams ♪ 1746 01:24:19,850 --> 01:24:27,191 ♪ Midnight comes A nightingale sings along ♪ 1747 01:24:27,192 --> 01:24:34,115 ♪ Melody with harmony ♪ 1748 01:24:34,114 --> 01:24:41,163 ♪ Makes a better tune ♪ 1749 01:24:41,163 --> 01:24:44,625 ♪ The night will play ♪ 1750 01:24:44,626 --> 01:24:50,548 ♪ Its serenade to you ♪ 1751 01:24:51,925 --> 01:24:55,261 ♪ Love writes a rhyme ♪ 1752 01:24:55,261 --> 01:24:58,848 ♪ And chance that we find ♪ 1753 01:24:58,847 --> 01:25:01,975 ♪ Magic and beauty ♪ 1754 01:25:01,975 --> 01:25:05,938 ♪ Begin, ah, begun ♪ 1755 01:25:05,939 --> 01:25:12,821 ♪ Dance until morning Drifts along ♪ 1756 01:25:14,738 --> 01:25:18,409 ♪ Listen ♪ 1757 01:25:18,409 --> 01:25:24,665 ♪ And you hear the song ♪ 1758 01:25:45,770 --> 01:25:47,480 Do you not want consistent sex 1759 01:25:47,479 --> 01:25:48,981 without the emotional attachment? 1760 01:25:48,981 --> 01:25:50,524 I want that, but I also want 1761 01:25:50,524 --> 01:25:51,775 the emotional attachment. 1762 01:25:51,775 --> 01:25:53,068 The words "I love you," 1763 01:25:53,069 --> 01:25:54,154 in that order, 1764 01:25:54,154 --> 01:25:55,363 cannot be shared 1765 01:25:55,363 --> 01:25:56,906 with one party to the other. 1766 01:25:56,905 --> 01:25:58,407 You just gotta pick a flavor 1767 01:25:58,408 --> 01:25:59,993 and then just go with that flavor. 1768 01:25:59,993 --> 01:26:02,328 I care about you so much, Milo. 1769 01:26:02,328 --> 01:26:03,830 Will I see you again? 1770 01:26:07,500 --> 01:26:10,837 -Yeah. 1771 01:26:14,716 --> 01:26:16,718 -Hello. Hey, hey, what's up? -Hi, hi. 1772 01:26:16,717 --> 01:26:17,968 -How's it going? 1773 01:26:21,264 --> 01:26:22,932 I really miss you. 1774 01:26:24,600 --> 01:26:26,268 I really miss you. 1775 01:26:27,311 --> 01:26:32,733 And I would really like it if you were back in my life. 1776 01:26:35,110 --> 01:26:37,988 I'd like to be back in your life, too. 1777 01:26:37,988 --> 01:26:43,077 And I promise I'm done trying other flavors. 1778 01:26:44,287 --> 01:26:45,622 I just want one. 1779 01:26:49,250 --> 01:26:51,002 I love you so much. 1780 01:26:53,337 --> 01:26:54,463 I love you, too. 1781 01:27:09,604 --> 01:27:12,273 Once upon a time, 1782 01:27:12,273 --> 01:27:15,568 in a magical kingdom known as New York City, 1783 01:27:15,568 --> 01:27:19,322 there lived a happily married couple. 1784 01:27:19,322 --> 01:27:23,785 Then there was Milo and Wendy or Wendy and Milo. 1785 01:27:23,784 --> 01:27:27,413 Maybe it was vows, the ubiquitous feeling of romance, 1786 01:27:27,413 --> 01:27:29,331 or the magic of Manhattan, 1787 01:27:29,332 --> 01:27:33,086 but they finally had true love's kiss, 1788 01:27:33,086 --> 01:27:35,839 and the heartbroken learned to love again. 1789 01:27:37,881 --> 01:27:39,758 Their thread began again 1790 01:27:39,759 --> 01:27:43,263 and they finally dated happily ever after. 1791 01:27:47,225 --> 01:27:49,811 For a few more months.