1
00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:16,750
[insects chirruping]
2
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,416
["Money Honey" playing]
3
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,125
[car door closes]
4
00:00:25,583 --> 00:00:29,666
♪ You know, the landlord rang
My front doorbell ♪
5
00:00:30,250 --> 00:00:33,333
♪ I let it ring for a long, long spell ♪
6
00:00:33,416 --> 00:00:37,000
♪ I went to the window
I peeped through the blind ♪
7
00:00:37,083 --> 00:00:40,000
♪ And asked him
To tell me what was on... ♪
8
00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:41,291
- Gabriel!
- Father!
9
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:45,041
Uh, hey, I thought you had
a-a-a televised sermon tonight.
10
00:00:45,125 --> 00:00:46,583
Yeah, I did.
11
00:00:46,666 --> 00:00:51,625
It was all about Jesus
and his duel with the devil in the desert,
12
00:00:51,708 --> 00:00:53,916
which Jesus won!
13
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,208
Thanks to karate.
14
00:00:55,291 --> 00:00:56,625
Wait, really?
15
00:00:56,708 --> 00:01:00,333
But little did I know
that I would come home
16
00:01:00,416 --> 00:01:05,625
to find Satan's very own music
playing in my house!
17
00:01:05,708 --> 00:01:08,083
[stammering]
It... I swear it won't happen again!
18
00:01:08,166 --> 00:01:11,625
[laughs] Boy, I can guarantee that.
19
00:01:12,458 --> 00:01:13,875
♪ Money, honey ♪
20
00:01:14,791 --> 00:01:17,375
♪ Mm-hmm, money, honey ♪
21
00:01:18,666 --> 00:01:20,416
♪ Money, honey... ♪
22
00:01:21,166 --> 00:01:25,000
I banish this devil's vinyl
to the fires of...
23
00:01:25,083 --> 00:01:27,041
- [wind gusts]
- Oh shit!
24
00:01:27,125 --> 00:01:27,958
[screams]
25
00:01:28,041 --> 00:01:29,041
[Gabriel] Father!
26
00:01:29,458 --> 00:01:31,125
Damn you, polyester!
27
00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:32,541
[screams]
28
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:37,583
♪ I finally got my baby
About half past three ♪
29
00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:39,875
Father!
30
00:01:40,916 --> 00:01:43,208
♪ I said, money, honey ♪
31
00:01:43,958 --> 00:01:46,750
♪ Uh-huh, money, honey ♪
32
00:01:48,291 --> 00:01:49,291
[Gabriel] Elvis!
33
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:55,041
You burned/drowned my father!
34
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,375
[Elvis] Now, you see? What'd I tell you?
35
00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:08,333
This is kind of nice.
36
00:02:08,416 --> 00:02:11,291
I promised you more time for us,
and that starts right now.
37
00:02:11,375 --> 00:02:13,916
[laughs]
Feels like I've heard that before.
38
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,125
Oh ye of little faith.
39
00:02:16,208 --> 00:02:17,666
Uh, hate to interrupt...
40
00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:19,430
But you're gonna muscle through it anyway?
41
00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:20,541
Just wanted to say hi.
42
00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:22,625
Then your work is done here, ace.
Good job.
43
00:02:22,708 --> 00:02:24,458
Gabriel Wolf, by the way.
44
00:02:24,541 --> 00:02:26,458
President of Wolf World Communications.
45
00:02:26,541 --> 00:02:28,125
Very excited about your concert.
46
00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:31,416
First ever broadcast
via satellite around the world,
47
00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:32,875
it's kind of impossible not to be.
48
00:02:32,958 --> 00:02:33,791
[chuckles]
49
00:02:33,875 --> 00:02:37,458
You know, we bid for the broadcast rights,
but we lost out to NBC, damn it.
50
00:02:37,541 --> 00:02:38,750
Guess you can't win them all.
51
00:02:38,833 --> 00:02:41,958
Well, Gabriel, based on
my personal life experience,
52
00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:43,458
you actually can.
53
00:02:43,541 --> 00:02:44,416
Now, you mind?
54
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,041
[chuckles]
55
00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:47,166
Of course.
56
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,416
Good luck tomorrow.
57
00:02:49,083 --> 00:02:50,083
[laughing]
58
00:02:50,166 --> 00:02:52,375
Hey, bet you can't guess
who I just ran into.
59
00:02:52,458 --> 00:02:54,625
Safe bet, given I'm not even gonna try.
60
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:57,583
Hawaii Five-O's very own Jack Lord.
61
00:02:57,666 --> 00:02:58,541
[laughs]
62
00:02:58,625 --> 00:03:01,750
Who, turns out, does not like to be
hugged in the men's room, by the way.
63
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:04,375
He's in town filming the show.
You know I'm a huge fan.
64
00:03:04,458 --> 00:03:06,375
Sounds like Jack knows that now too.
65
00:03:06,458 --> 00:03:09,583
Oh, and speaking of fans,
yours are starting to pile up over there.
66
00:03:09,666 --> 00:03:10,666
[girls screaming]
67
00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:12,583
Mind if I go say hi?
68
00:03:12,666 --> 00:03:14,583
Oh, I'm used to it.
69
00:03:14,666 --> 00:03:15,875
Back before you know it.
70
00:03:16,583 --> 00:03:18,166
[chuckling] Yes.
71
00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:19,166
Mm-hmm.
72
00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:20,083
Yes, ma'am.
73
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,666
[cameras clicking]
74
00:03:23,083 --> 00:03:24,833
Well, thank you very much.
75
00:03:25,416 --> 00:03:26,541
What are you doing here?
76
00:03:26,625 --> 00:03:30,625
Oh, well, I thought I was in line
to get Don Ho's autograph, so,
77
00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:32,083
color me disappointed.
78
00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:33,250
Come here.
79
00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:37,250
If you're here to try to get me
to come back, you can fucking forget it.
80
00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:41,833
[laughing] Somebody's doing just fine
in the self-important department. Good.
81
00:03:41,916 --> 00:03:42,916
I'm serious.
82
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,041
News flash,
the world doesn't revolve around you.
83
00:03:45,666 --> 00:03:46,791
[excited screams]
84
00:03:46,875 --> 00:03:47,976
- [snaps fingers]
- [silence]
85
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,291
Wanna bet?
86
00:03:49,375 --> 00:03:52,416
Hey there, Mrs. P.
You and Elvis having a good time?
87
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,791
Do me a favor, Bertie.
88
00:03:53,875 --> 00:03:55,541
If he ever gets done over there,
89
00:03:55,625 --> 00:03:57,875
tell him I caught a flight
back to Memphis.
90
00:03:58,875 --> 00:04:00,083
[CeCe] I don't give a shit.
91
00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:01,458
Believe whatever you want.
92
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,833
You people just stay away from me.
93
00:04:03,916 --> 00:04:04,916
Done.
94
00:04:05,708 --> 00:04:06,976
Oh, uh, quick question though...
95
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,708
No, I don't fucking know
where Don Ho lives.
96
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,208
[ominous music playing]
97
00:04:15,583 --> 00:04:17,708
[feedback squeals]
98
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:21,083
[reporter] And speaking of big things
coming in small packages, coming up,
99
00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:24,500
Hervé Villechaize,
star of the new James Bond film,
100
00:04:24,583 --> 00:04:27,458
stops by our studio
for an exclusive interview.
101
00:04:27,541 --> 00:04:29,291
I'm smoking indoors.
102
00:04:29,916 --> 00:04:31,250
What the hell is this shit?
103
00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:33,083
First I've seen him since I asked him
104
00:04:33,166 --> 00:04:35,708
to go get me some potato chips
from the lobby two days ago.
105
00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:38,333
Looks like he forgot the potato chips.
106
00:04:38,416 --> 00:04:39,541
Is he even alive?
107
00:04:39,625 --> 00:04:40,625
No idea.
108
00:04:40,958 --> 00:04:42,291
Hey, have you seen Priscilla?
109
00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:45,041
Yeah, look, about that.
110
00:04:45,125 --> 00:04:46,583
[distant police siren]
111
00:04:46,666 --> 00:04:50,208
Oh no, no, no, no.
Don't you even think about it, goddamn it!
112
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:51,958
[gunfire]
113
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,916
[action music playing]
114
00:04:57,833 --> 00:04:59,166
[explosion]
115
00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:04,458
- What?
- I know your car-chase face when I see it.
116
00:05:04,541 --> 00:05:08,250
You left all that secret agent
nonsense behind you. Remember?
117
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,666
What about Priscilla?
118
00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:13,083
- She had to catch a flight to Memphis.
- Really?
119
00:05:13,166 --> 00:05:17,041
Something came up.
You should give her a call later.
120
00:05:17,125 --> 00:05:19,666
But right now, you need to get ready.
121
00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:22,208
Bobby Ray will be back
in a sec to pick you up.
122
00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:23,208
Back from where?
123
00:05:23,291 --> 00:05:24,916
- From picking up the kid.
- What kid?
124
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,291
The kid.
125
00:05:26,375 --> 00:05:30,875
Beautiful day, top down,
wind in your hair. Isn't this great?
126
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:36,416
Yeah, I thought you'd like it.
Least I could do after, well, you know.
127
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,458
Hang on, are we already filming?
128
00:05:38,541 --> 00:05:40,375
Wait, is that my beer back there?
129
00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:42,166
[screams]
130
00:05:44,041 --> 00:05:45,681
[Bobby Ray]
And let me tell you something.
131
00:05:45,708 --> 00:05:48,875
You, my friend, are an inspiration.
132
00:05:48,958 --> 00:05:51,541
Living proof that
even with a shattered windpipe,
133
00:05:51,625 --> 00:05:54,250
collapsed lung, no spleen,
and only half a kidney left,
134
00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:56,375
there is always a silver lining.
135
00:05:57,291 --> 00:06:00,416
No idea what it is, though,
but at least you get to meet Elvis,
136
00:06:00,916 --> 00:06:02,750
for a couple seconds, anyway. No promises.
137
00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:03,750
Want a beer?
138
00:06:03,833 --> 00:06:06,041
After the soundcheck,
you'll come back here.
139
00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:08,208
And I mean straight back here.
140
00:06:08,291 --> 00:06:10,083
I'm sensing a little subtext there.
141
00:06:10,166 --> 00:06:12,708
I saw you talking
to that woman last night.
142
00:06:12,791 --> 00:06:14,583
The bimbo in the tiny bikini.
143
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:18,625
Okay, this may sound bad, but you're
gonna need to be way more specific.
144
00:06:19,208 --> 00:06:21,375
I'm counting on you. All of you.
145
00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:24,375
CeCe, Hawaii Five-O's Jack Lord.
146
00:06:24,458 --> 00:06:26,416
Nobody knows this island better than you.
147
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,500
Character actor Hervé Villechaize.
148
00:06:28,583 --> 00:06:31,500
Time to put that wonderfully
compact frame of yours to work.
149
00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:35,041
Now get this done.
Otherwise, millions of people could die.
150
00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:37,833
Oh, so no pressure then.
Great. Thanks for that, by the way.
151
00:06:37,916 --> 00:06:39,041
Any other fun news?
152
00:06:39,125 --> 00:06:42,291
One more thing.
These bad guys we've been after?
153
00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:43,541
We finally have a name.
154
00:06:43,625 --> 00:06:46,333
When we captured the asshole
with that blueprint over there,
155
00:06:46,416 --> 00:06:47,708
he gave us one word.
156
00:06:47,791 --> 00:06:49,083
Malus.
157
00:06:49,166 --> 00:06:50,708
And he was wearing this.
158
00:06:50,791 --> 00:06:52,750
Oh! Is that the guy's fucking finger?
159
00:06:52,833 --> 00:06:55,166
Well, it's not
somebody else's fucking finger.
160
00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:57,166
I mean, that would be seriously twisted.
161
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,500
[laughs] Oh!
162
00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:04,416
Hey there, pookie bear.
163
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:06,625
No. Still not a thing.
What are you doing here?
164
00:07:06,708 --> 00:07:09,458
What? A girl can't come to Hawaii
to have a little fun?
165
00:07:09,541 --> 00:07:11,750
With that self-absorbed douchebag?
166
00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:12,875
No, she can't.
167
00:07:12,958 --> 00:07:13,875
Mm!
168
00:07:13,958 --> 00:07:15,583
Isn't he great?
169
00:07:15,666 --> 00:07:18,333
We've been sort of
rekindling an old flame.
170
00:07:18,416 --> 00:07:19,833
Bumped into each other in Vietnam,
171
00:07:19,916 --> 00:07:23,916
and he has been
sweeping me off my feet ever since.
172
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,000
- Whoa, hang on.
- It's almost like a fairy tale.
173
00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:29,833
I mean, if fairy tales had, like,
174
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:32,375
way more vodka tonics and oral sex.
175
00:07:32,458 --> 00:07:33,541
- [chuckles]
- Oh God!
176
00:07:33,625 --> 00:07:34,916
[gags and coughs]
177
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,166
You okay?
178
00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:38,458
Shut up. What do you mean rekindling?
179
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,625
We had a fling years ago,
before you were born.
180
00:07:41,708 --> 00:07:44,416
If you're about to tell me
Robert Goulet is my father,
181
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:46,416
then I am going to shoot both of you.
182
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,708
Like, over and over!
183
00:07:47,791 --> 00:07:50,458
Relax. There's not a chance.
184
00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:51,541
I don't think.
185
00:07:51,916 --> 00:07:54,708
[eerie music playing]
186
00:07:54,791 --> 00:07:56,541
[grunts] Shit! Shit!
187
00:07:56,625 --> 00:07:58,500
Shit! Shit!
188
00:07:59,166 --> 00:08:00,416
Oh shit.
189
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,333
I gotta go.
190
00:08:01,416 --> 00:08:04,416
Telling you, Jack Lord's basically
the mayor of this entire island.
191
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:06,958
Even lives here.
Show you his house if you want.
192
00:08:07,041 --> 00:08:08,041
Only from the car though.
193
00:08:08,125 --> 00:08:10,750
The cease-and-desist letter
was pretty clear on that.
194
00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:13,083
[dreamy luau music playing]
195
00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:16,416
[car approaching]
196
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,083
Hey, CeCe with an E!
197
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:20,166
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
198
00:08:21,916 --> 00:08:23,875
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
199
00:08:23,958 --> 00:08:26,041
No, no, no! Hervé! The car! The car!
200
00:08:27,416 --> 00:08:29,333
- [phone ringing]
- Say words. Go.
201
00:08:30,708 --> 00:08:32,416
The fuck? Both of them?
202
00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:38,458
[Elvis] Think I'll try the Aloha tacos.
203
00:08:38,541 --> 00:08:40,333
And put yourself down
for a Cadillac, boss.
204
00:08:40,416 --> 00:08:42,000
Yes, sir.
205
00:08:42,083 --> 00:08:43,958
Anything else I can get you, Mr. Presley?
206
00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:46,625
Maybe a side order
of giant fucking asshole.
207
00:08:46,708 --> 00:08:49,875
Ooh, wait a minute, never mind.
Turns out I got one right here.
208
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:51,625
Fuck off.
209
00:08:51,708 --> 00:08:54,708
[laughs] Now, is that any way
to talk to an old friend?
210
00:08:54,791 --> 00:08:56,875
No, but since you're not, fuck off.
211
00:08:56,958 --> 00:08:59,458
Just checking in.
Want to see how you're doing, buddy.
212
00:08:59,541 --> 00:09:02,125
Well, I'm about to play
the biggest concert of my life
213
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,916
for the entire fucking planet.
214
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,458
- [The Commander] Wow.
- So, doing just fine without you.
215
00:09:06,541 --> 00:09:09,583
Ha! Obviously. Need a quick favor though.
216
00:09:09,666 --> 00:09:11,250
Fuck off.
217
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:12,541
Ah, so you've said.
218
00:09:12,625 --> 00:09:15,458
But what if I told you
there's a problem with your concert?
219
00:09:15,958 --> 00:09:17,125
- Explain.
- Okay.
220
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:20,000
You remember that sonic weapon
we've been after?
221
00:09:20,541 --> 00:09:23,208
Well, we tracked particles
emitted by that weapon...
222
00:09:23,291 --> 00:09:24,541
Explain faster.
223
00:09:24,625 --> 00:09:25,541
...to outer space.
224
00:09:25,625 --> 00:09:26,958
What are you talking about?
225
00:09:27,041 --> 00:09:29,041
Oh, look who's interested all of a sudden.
226
00:09:29,125 --> 00:09:30,833
Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah.
227
00:09:30,916 --> 00:09:33,416
Attached to the satellite
that'll broadcast your concert
228
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:35,291
to millions of Elvis fans watching...
229
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,625
Uh, try billions.
230
00:09:36,708 --> 00:09:39,000
Uh, number sounds a tad high.
231
00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:43,250
Your show, your music, is about
to infect people around the world,
232
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:47,208
turning them into bloodthirsty lunatics.
It'll be a global bloodbath.
233
00:09:47,291 --> 00:09:50,458
Then what the fuck are you doing
sitting here? Take care of it!
234
00:09:50,541 --> 00:09:51,666
That's why I need you.
235
00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:52,791
You've got people.
236
00:09:52,875 --> 00:09:54,541
I got people? I got people? Guess what.
237
00:09:54,625 --> 00:09:57,875
I got two less after your idiot friend
ran over them in the parking lot.
238
00:09:57,958 --> 00:09:59,625
Fucking Bobby Ray.
239
00:09:59,708 --> 00:10:01,250
I'm running out of people I can trust.
240
00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:02,541
What are you talking about?
241
00:10:02,625 --> 00:10:05,083
TCB's got a mole. A traitor.
242
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:07,625
- [Elvis] What?
- The stolen sonic tech. The weapon.
243
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,083
It's got to be an inside job.
244
00:10:09,583 --> 00:10:11,541
[dramatic music playing]
245
00:10:13,958 --> 00:10:15,000
Won't be long now.
246
00:10:15,541 --> 00:10:16,875
My grand finale.
247
00:10:16,958 --> 00:10:20,208
After tonight,
Elvis Presley will no longer be beloved.
248
00:10:20,291 --> 00:10:21,583
He'll be reviled.
249
00:10:21,666 --> 00:10:24,958
You asked me why I didn't
let you kill him at the Jaycees Awards.
250
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,166
Well, today is why.
251
00:10:27,875 --> 00:10:29,458
The day Elvis goes down in history
252
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:32,000
as the man whose music
caused millions to die.
253
00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:34,916
The day the world will
finally loathe Elvis as I do,
254
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,750
for as the Bible foretold,
255
00:10:36,833 --> 00:10:40,041
"And the bedazzled,
caped man who sangeth evilly
256
00:10:40,125 --> 00:10:42,458
was finally brought to his knees."
257
00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:45,041
Leviticus 4:12. Pretty sure.
258
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:47,958
Close enough for me.
259
00:10:49,791 --> 00:10:51,208
So let me get this straight.
260
00:10:51,708 --> 00:10:53,708
You get me drafted into the Army
261
00:10:53,791 --> 00:10:56,875
so you could make
a mind-control device based on my DNA,
262
00:10:56,958 --> 00:10:57,958
that you then lose,
263
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,416
and now has ended up on a fucking
satellite about to destroy the world,
264
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,541
and you want me to do something about it?
265
00:11:03,625 --> 00:11:06,041
Ooh! Well, that was kind of a long road,
266
00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:07,500
but yeah, pretty much.
267
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:11,125
You realize you're basically asking me
to save the world from myself?
268
00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:14,041
Yeah. And if it's not this concert,
it'll be the next one.
269
00:11:14,125 --> 00:11:16,250
Goddamn it. You know what?
270
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:18,458
I was doing a hell of a lot better
before I met you.
271
00:11:18,541 --> 00:11:19,625
[laughs]
272
00:11:19,708 --> 00:11:22,958
Oh come on. You were moonlighting
as a dime-store vigilante.
273
00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:24,250
It was pathetic.
274
00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,166
I took you global, kid.
275
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:29,500
No, what you did was take me
down a rabbit hole full of your bullshit.
276
00:11:29,583 --> 00:11:32,166
Yeah. And then
you shot me twice and quit.
277
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:33,416
After all I did for you.
278
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,416
How do you think that made me feel, huh?
279
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:36,500
You'll get over it.
280
00:11:36,541 --> 00:11:40,333
- I was emotionally sodomized.
- Where do you come up with this shit?
281
00:11:40,416 --> 00:11:41,916
Writer's room, I don't know.
282
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,041
Point is, are you going to help me or not?
283
00:11:44,125 --> 00:11:45,666
We're running out of time.
284
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,208
[grumbles]
285
00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:51,208
Okay, I'll do it.
286
00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:53,208
But not because you asked me.
287
00:11:53,291 --> 00:11:56,583
More because these assholes
aren't about to ruin my show.
288
00:11:56,666 --> 00:12:00,750
And "Elvis Saves the World,"
it's got a nice ring to it.
289
00:12:00,833 --> 00:12:03,625
Ha-ha! And I haven't
even told you the best part yet.
290
00:12:04,416 --> 00:12:05,833
[spy music playing]
291
00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:16,333
Do you actually enjoy
being this predictable?
292
00:12:16,416 --> 00:12:17,416
[sighs]
293
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:18,333
Excuse me?
294
00:12:18,416 --> 00:12:20,541
So knew you'd fall for the jetpack.
295
00:12:20,625 --> 00:12:21,750
What's he doing here?
296
00:12:21,833 --> 00:12:23,458
And where the hell are my potato chips?
297
00:12:24,666 --> 00:12:27,541
Yeah, sorry, had to borrow
your little friend here. We need him.
298
00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:28,916
- For what?
- For that.
299
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:33,708
The capsule was designed for Hervé
300
00:12:33,791 --> 00:12:36,833
to fly up to the satellite
and disarm the sonic weapons.
301
00:12:36,916 --> 00:12:39,750
But since Hervé's busy
bleeding out in a parking lot,
302
00:12:39,833 --> 00:12:41,916
we're gonna have to go
with the next best thing.
303
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,125
Remember all those assholes at NASA
304
00:12:44,208 --> 00:12:46,375
who kicked you out
for arguably understandable reasons?
305
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:50,833
Well, this is your chance
to prove them wrong. Own it.
306
00:12:51,541 --> 00:12:52,625
[inhales]
307
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:54,750
Yeah.
308
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:56,958
No way this ends badly.
309
00:12:57,041 --> 00:12:58,458
[buzzer sounding]
310
00:12:58,541 --> 00:13:00,208
[engines erupt]
311
00:13:06,666 --> 00:13:08,750
Godspeed, drunk monkey.
312
00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:10,041
Godspeed.
313
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,000
[knock on door]
314
00:13:14,666 --> 00:13:16,208
Bertie, what are you...
315
00:13:16,291 --> 00:13:18,041
[screams]
316
00:13:18,125 --> 00:13:19,445
- [electricity crackles]
- [gasps]
317
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,041
[Elvis] Scatter okay?
318
00:13:21,125 --> 00:13:23,250
[CeCe] He's fine.
It's telemetry from the rocket.
319
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:25,614
We knew there was a signal station
somewhere on the island
320
00:13:25,666 --> 00:13:28,416
that's been hacking into the satellite,
and now we know where.
321
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:31,416
Heh. Well, then,
what the hell are we waiting for?
322
00:13:35,083 --> 00:13:38,458
[Bertie] Elvis had
this zapper gun of yours ever since Vegas.
323
00:13:38,958 --> 00:13:39,958
He loves it.
324
00:13:40,375 --> 00:13:42,291
Oh, and it's growing on me too.
325
00:13:42,375 --> 00:13:44,083
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
326
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:45,750
Wait. Okay.
327
00:13:45,833 --> 00:13:49,666
First off, kind of turned on right now.
I'm just putting that out there. Second...
328
00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:50,750
- Shut up!
- Copy that.
329
00:13:50,791 --> 00:13:53,166
Now where the hell's my Elvis?
330
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:55,666
Doing what he was born to do.
331
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:59,125
I'm not gonna let you
ruin that boy's life all over again.
332
00:13:59,208 --> 00:14:00,416
Ruin his life?
333
00:14:00,958 --> 00:14:03,458
That man's literally trying
to save the world right now,
334
00:14:03,541 --> 00:14:06,000
and instead, you want him
to do what, a fucking sound check?
335
00:14:09,541 --> 00:14:12,750
Better not be a scratch on him, or else.
336
00:14:12,833 --> 00:14:14,500
Or else what, exactly?
337
00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:16,083
[electricity powering up]
338
00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:20,583
Okay, if you don't put that thing down,
one of two things is gonna happen here.
339
00:14:20,666 --> 00:14:23,125
- [electricity crackles]
- [screams]
340
00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:26,750
Huh. Wonder what the other thing was.
341
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,416
[dramatic music playing]
342
00:14:31,666 --> 00:14:35,250
Guess we aim for the cartoonishly large M.
343
00:14:39,375 --> 00:14:40,875
[funky rock music playing]
344
00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:46,375
[groans]
345
00:14:46,458 --> 00:14:47,875
[shrieks]
346
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,360
[CeCe] Where are all the bad guys?
347
00:14:57,916 --> 00:15:00,250
[Elvis] You just had to fucking ask,
didn't you?
348
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:11,250
[man screams]
349
00:15:12,166 --> 00:15:13,166
Ah shit!
350
00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:20,958
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
351
00:15:27,166 --> 00:15:28,000
Ha-ha!
352
00:15:28,083 --> 00:15:31,708
Honestly, I don't know which was better,
my aim or my entrance.
353
00:15:32,708 --> 00:15:33,625
Thanks for that.
354
00:15:33,708 --> 00:15:34,625
Don't mention it.
355
00:15:34,708 --> 00:15:36,291
What? You saving my ass?
356
00:15:36,375 --> 00:15:37,291
[chuckles]
357
00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:38,500
That won't be a problem.
358
00:15:38,583 --> 00:15:41,041
Now, you, my friend,
have a concert to get to.
359
00:15:41,125 --> 00:15:43,958
[Elvis] Not until we take out that dish.
360
00:15:44,041 --> 00:15:47,250
Oh, get on with your show.
I'll take care of it, trust me.
361
00:15:48,583 --> 00:15:50,375
You know what? I don't think I will.
362
00:15:50,958 --> 00:15:52,416
- [cocks hammer]
- Uh...
363
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:53,750
What are you doing?
364
00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:56,958
Forgot to check the grip
on your rocket launcher there.
365
00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:58,333
Goddamn it.
366
00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:00,336
You know they put
these stupid M's on everything.
367
00:16:00,416 --> 00:16:02,708
It's like they're selling
fucking time-shares.
368
00:16:02,791 --> 00:16:05,000
So you're the fucking traitor.
369
00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:07,166
"Traitor" is such an ugly word.
370
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:08,750
Accurate, but ugly.
371
00:16:10,375 --> 00:16:11,541
[gunfire]
372
00:16:14,958 --> 00:16:17,458
Such a pompous prick!
373
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:18,583
Correction.
374
00:16:18,666 --> 00:16:21,541
Tony Award-winning pompous prick!
375
00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:23,208
There's a big difference.
376
00:16:23,291 --> 00:16:24,541
[both grunt]
377
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:28,250
Okay, that sucked.
378
00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:30,541
Oh come on. Don't be like that.
379
00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:33,666
We're just getting to the fun part.
380
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:34,958
For me, I mean.
381
00:16:35,958 --> 00:16:37,666
Remember those experiments
382
00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:40,208
the Commander performed on you
in the Army?
383
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,458
I was there.
384
00:16:44,125 --> 00:16:46,958
Back then,
I was the Commander's right-hand man.
385
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:52,791
I watched you turn into an animal.
You should have died.
386
00:16:53,458 --> 00:16:54,833
Sorry to disappoint.
387
00:16:54,916 --> 00:16:56,666
And then you came back.
388
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:59,750
Waltzing into TCB like you own the place,
389
00:16:59,833 --> 00:17:04,458
with your sculpted hair
and your granite jawline,
390
00:17:04,541 --> 00:17:08,000
and-and that pouty yet inviting mouth.
391
00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:11,166
Uh, starting to feel like
this is about something else.
392
00:17:11,958 --> 00:17:13,916
[Goulet]
Like you didn't already have it all.
393
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,125
The talent, the legions of fans,
394
00:17:16,208 --> 00:17:17,791
the amazing music.
395
00:17:17,875 --> 00:17:19,208
That wasn't enough?
396
00:17:19,291 --> 00:17:23,083
You had to take TCB away from me too?
397
00:17:23,166 --> 00:17:24,166
Ah.
398
00:17:24,791 --> 00:17:26,375
So you do like my music.
399
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:30,208
Um, is that seriously
all you got out of that?
400
00:17:30,791 --> 00:17:32,500
[groaning]
401
00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:35,166
Hey! Aren't you
supposed to be boning my mom?
402
00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:36,250
Hyah!
403
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,458
You okay?
404
00:17:40,041 --> 00:17:40,875
Yeah.
405
00:17:40,958 --> 00:17:43,541
- What was that all about?
- Fucking Goulet.
406
00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:45,750
[Goulet]
Interesting choice of dying words,
407
00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:48,083
but hey, at least I'm in there somewhere.
408
00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:50,291
[suspenseful spy music playing]
409
00:17:56,416 --> 00:17:59,708
Uh, did I miss the fucking meeting?
What the hell'd you do that for?
410
00:17:59,791 --> 00:18:02,708
Ah, believe it or not, he might be my dad.
411
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,583
- So the hell what?
- [machinery whirring]
412
00:18:07,541 --> 00:18:08,916
[powering up]
413
00:18:13,666 --> 00:18:15,708
[dramatic music playing]
414
00:18:18,125 --> 00:18:19,250
[coos]
415
00:18:21,291 --> 00:18:22,583
[monitors beeping]
416
00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:24,041
What in the fuck?
417
00:18:27,791 --> 00:18:29,291
[Scatter gibbering]
418
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,208
["Also sprach Zarathustra" playing]
419
00:18:38,416 --> 00:18:40,083
[beeping]
420
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:45,583
Hey, think your super great dad's
gonna mind if I borrow this?
421
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:46,666
Shut up.
422
00:18:50,916 --> 00:18:52,833
[rapid beeping]
423
00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:55,250
No! No, no, no, no, no, no!
424
00:18:55,833 --> 00:18:59,958
By Jesus
and his seven glorious dwarf apostles,
425
00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:01,666
I swear this ain't over.
426
00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:04,333
Fucking Goulet.
427
00:19:04,416 --> 00:19:06,208
Are you serious? He's the mole?
428
00:19:06,291 --> 00:19:07,166
Very.
429
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:10,583
Hey, I've been telling folks for years,
this guy is a bag of shit.
430
00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:12,416
[sighs] Well, either way,
431
00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:14,125
job well done.
432
00:19:14,208 --> 00:19:16,750
We still gotta get Scatter
when he comes back down.
433
00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:19,708
Comes back down? What are you...
434
00:19:19,791 --> 00:19:22,458
No, no, no, that was a one-way trip.
He's stuck up there.
435
00:19:22,541 --> 00:19:24,416
What the fuck are you talking about?
436
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:26,708
Which is exactly what Hervé would've said.
437
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,250
So, yeah, I didn't tell him either.
438
00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:33,541
- Where are you going?
- To the airport, goddamn it!
439
00:19:34,958 --> 00:19:37,458
- [door slams]
- God, I love his angry energy.
440
00:19:38,041 --> 00:19:40,750
[CeCe] Let me get this straight.
You were so consumed with jealousy
441
00:19:40,833 --> 00:19:44,291
over the fake Apollo moon landing
that you spent millions of dollars
442
00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:47,458
to convert this thing
into a half-ass space plane?
443
00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:51,958
Well, when you put it like that,
yeah, it sounds kind of pathetic.
444
00:19:52,041 --> 00:19:53,750
[uplifting dramatic music playing]
445
00:19:59,625 --> 00:20:01,375
[engines roaring]
446
00:20:06,083 --> 00:20:07,833
You brought your fucking Grammys?
447
00:20:10,541 --> 00:20:13,000
Are those... potato chips?
448
00:20:14,041 --> 00:20:15,708
That little motherfucker.
449
00:20:16,291 --> 00:20:17,291
Hang on.
450
00:20:17,708 --> 00:20:18,625
What the hell?
451
00:20:18,708 --> 00:20:20,708
[funky music playing]
452
00:20:28,208 --> 00:20:29,666
[beeping]
453
00:20:40,875 --> 00:20:42,958
Okay, that's just fucking wrong.
454
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:44,250
I'm going to get him.
455
00:20:45,208 --> 00:20:48,708
[CeCe] You just happened to have
Neil Armstrong's spacesuit handy?
456
00:20:48,791 --> 00:20:51,500
Uh, kinda. Yeah.
457
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:52,500
[CeCe] Hang on.
458
00:20:52,583 --> 00:20:56,666
You two morons were actually gonna try
and fly this piece of shit to the moon?
459
00:20:59,166 --> 00:21:00,291
[Elvis] Come on, damn it.
460
00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:03,083
I think you're supposed
to blow in his mouth or something.
461
00:21:03,166 --> 00:21:05,333
Obvious STDs notwithstanding.
462
00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:08,541
[blows]
463
00:21:10,791 --> 00:21:12,083
[gasps]
464
00:21:13,583 --> 00:21:15,541
Why is that like that right now?
465
00:21:15,625 --> 00:21:17,166
Ugh, God, can we go home?
466
00:21:17,250 --> 00:21:19,666
Oh yeah, about that.
467
00:21:19,750 --> 00:21:20,916
Unfortunately, no.
468
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,360
[CeCe] What are you talking about?
469
00:21:22,416 --> 00:21:24,333
Little problem with the heat shield.
470
00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:26,916
Uh, what's the little problem?
471
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,541
I haven't installed one yet.
472
00:21:28,625 --> 00:21:30,333
Uh, we'll burn up on re-entry.
473
00:21:30,416 --> 00:21:31,958
You know, hearing that out loud,
474
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,916
it's kind of
a bigger than a little problem.
475
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,250
God... Jesus!
476
00:21:35,333 --> 00:21:36,583
Wait, what?
477
00:21:36,666 --> 00:21:38,416
Are you out of your fucking mind?
478
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:40,500
["Also sprach Zarathustra" playing]
479
00:21:42,458 --> 00:21:43,458
[Bobby Ray] Hang on, E.
480
00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:45,291
[CeCe]
You can't do this.
481
00:21:45,333 --> 00:21:47,458
You can't pretend to be
a human heat shield.
482
00:21:47,541 --> 00:21:48,625
You'll burn alive!
483
00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:51,291
Boss, are you sure about this?
484
00:21:51,375 --> 00:21:52,916
I got a show to do, buddy.
485
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,791
You never leave a packed house waiting.
486
00:21:54,875 --> 00:21:55,875
Hey, look at me.
487
00:21:55,916 --> 00:21:57,625
Don't do this!
488
00:21:57,708 --> 00:21:58,708
Look.
489
00:21:59,416 --> 00:22:00,875
I've gotta at least try.
490
00:22:01,833 --> 00:22:03,208
You folks best strap in.
491
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,125
You know what?
492
00:22:08,208 --> 00:22:11,000
Just now realizing
I haven't checked in with Priscilla,
493
00:22:11,083 --> 00:22:12,958
and that's probably not a good sign.
494
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:14,625
[CeCe] Just take care of yourself.
495
00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:18,666
But yeah, relationship-wise,
it's not a great sign at all.
496
00:22:18,750 --> 00:22:20,750
["Also sprach Zarathustra" continues]
497
00:22:29,541 --> 00:22:31,708
[upbeat swing music playing]
498
00:22:45,583 --> 00:22:48,208
[The Commander]
Howard, listen, I may need you
499
00:22:48,291 --> 00:22:50,750
to resume your cloning research.
500
00:22:50,833 --> 00:22:53,416
[Howard, on phone]
Uh... I was supposed to stop?
501
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,583
Yeah, we're probably
gonna need a new Elvis.
502
00:22:57,666 --> 00:22:59,666
[upbeat swing music playing]