1
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,083
[The Commander] Look, Howard.
I didn't ask you what I should name it.
2
00:00:18,166 --> 00:00:19,726
[Howard] Still loving "Rhinostradamus."
3
00:00:19,791 --> 00:00:22,250
I just need to know what it eats,
what to feed it.
4
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:23,625
Oh, that's easy.
5
00:00:23,708 --> 00:00:25,416
Squirrels and small children, mostly.
6
00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:26,375
Hey, what the...
7
00:00:26,458 --> 00:00:30,083
Uh, you know what happened to the last guy
who did that when I was on the phone?
8
00:00:30,166 --> 00:00:32,916
- No.
- Exactly. And nobody ever will.
9
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,958
Industrial wood chippers
are handy that way.
10
00:00:35,041 --> 00:00:36,458
You and I need to talk.
11
00:00:36,541 --> 00:00:38,583
As in, you can go now.
12
00:00:38,666 --> 00:00:42,708
Is this about you taking acid
and destroying your own home? Classic!
13
00:00:42,791 --> 00:00:45,916
Quick question: did you really drive
a little sports car through your gate?
14
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,458
Little sports car?
15
00:00:47,541 --> 00:00:50,208
It's called a De Tomaso Pantera.
16
00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:53,000
Which I believe is Italian
for "early midlife crisis."
17
00:00:53,083 --> 00:00:55,208
You should come over sometime
and check it out.
18
00:00:55,291 --> 00:00:58,011
Of course, you'll have to make your way
through the thousands of fans
19
00:00:58,041 --> 00:01:00,083
who camp out
in front of Graceland every day.
20
00:01:00,166 --> 00:01:03,750
You know, I almost named my house once,
and then I remembered,
21
00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:06,125
I'm not a fucking child.
22
00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:08,625
Ooh, burn!
23
00:01:08,708 --> 00:01:09,541
[laughs]
24
00:01:09,625 --> 00:01:12,125
Well, that was fun. You can go now.
25
00:01:12,208 --> 00:01:13,833
I got your boy Leary back for you.
26
00:01:13,916 --> 00:01:16,666
Great.
You want a thank-you hug or something?
27
00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:18,291
Hey, Doyle! Come hug Elvis!
28
00:01:18,375 --> 00:01:19,375
[Doyle] What? Really?
29
00:01:19,416 --> 00:01:21,041
Shut the fuck up, Doyle.
30
00:01:21,541 --> 00:01:23,500
Leary mentioned something
that got me thinking.
31
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:24,625
Oh, that right?
32
00:01:24,708 --> 00:01:26,458
Project Tupelo.
33
00:01:26,541 --> 00:01:27,708
"Dirty sandwich,"
34
00:01:27,791 --> 00:01:31,166
in case we're playing a new game
where we just say random words out loud.
35
00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:32,708
Project Tupelo.
36
00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:34,930
- You ever heard of it?
- Can't say I have.
37
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,240
Which doesn't mean you haven't.
38
00:01:36,291 --> 00:01:40,166
Yeah, it's an idiom. Here's another one:
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
39
00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:41,291
Look here.
40
00:01:41,375 --> 00:01:43,958
I think there's a ton of shit
that you're not telling me.
41
00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:45,041
Know that.
42
00:01:48,458 --> 00:01:50,000
- Hang back for a sec.
- What's up?
43
00:01:50,083 --> 00:01:52,041
You're good
at quietly stalking people, right?
44
00:01:52,125 --> 00:01:54,708
Allegedly stalking, to quote my lawyer.
45
00:01:54,791 --> 00:01:57,833
Keep an eye on Elvis for me.
Let me know if he gets up to anything.
46
00:01:57,916 --> 00:01:58,916
Will do.
47
00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:00,666
[laughs]
48
00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:03,000
Yeah, not a chance, little guy.
49
00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:05,458
I'm so gonna die alone.
50
00:02:05,541 --> 00:02:08,333
You're seriously
just now figuring that out?
51
00:02:08,416 --> 00:02:10,625
[ominous music playing]
52
00:02:14,375 --> 00:02:16,333
[feedback squeals]
53
00:02:18,791 --> 00:02:20,750
[dramatic music playing]
54
00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:22,291
[typing]
55
00:02:24,875 --> 00:02:26,875
- Nice setup, Howard.
- [laughs]
56
00:02:26,958 --> 00:02:28,291
Fuck nice.
57
00:02:28,375 --> 00:02:30,750
This little baby is state-of-the-art.
58
00:02:30,833 --> 00:02:35,458
An entire database
that fits inside a single room.
59
00:02:35,541 --> 00:02:36,833
Say, mind if I give it a whirl?
60
00:02:36,916 --> 00:02:38,125
[laughs] Sorry.
61
00:02:38,208 --> 00:02:40,083
Walt and I are kind of busy.
62
00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:42,791
- Walt?
- Whoa! Where are my manners?
63
00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:46,625
Say hello to Walt Disney.
64
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:49,291
- Well, a piece of him, anyway.
- What the hell?
65
00:02:49,375 --> 00:02:53,208
He's my best friend/
business partner/murder victim.
66
00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:54,875
Walt Disney wasn't murdered.
67
00:02:54,958 --> 00:02:55,833
Says you.
68
00:02:55,916 --> 00:03:00,708
But did you know Walt's dying words
were the name "Kurt Russell"?
69
00:03:00,791 --> 00:03:03,750
- You don't find that a little suspicious?
- Look here, if I say yes,
70
00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:05,375
can I borrow that computer a sec?
71
00:03:05,458 --> 00:03:07,375
I don't think
I'm supposed to let you do that.
72
00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:09,750
Well, Walt here says it's okay.
73
00:03:09,833 --> 00:03:11,958
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can hear him?
74
00:03:12,041 --> 00:03:12,875
Why not?
75
00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:16,500
Now that actually makes
a ton of sense to me.
76
00:03:16,583 --> 00:03:17,875
[laughs]
77
00:03:17,958 --> 00:03:19,125
Go right ahead.
78
00:03:19,208 --> 00:03:22,791
What else did Walt say? Did he tell you
about the robot assassins I made for him
79
00:03:22,875 --> 00:03:24,458
modeled after US presidents?
80
00:03:25,041 --> 00:03:28,250
Turns out he wanted
something more vanilla.
81
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,083
[typing]
82
00:03:34,916 --> 00:03:35,916
[beeps]
83
00:03:37,375 --> 00:03:38,875
What the hell is Sub-Level 7?
84
00:03:38,958 --> 00:03:39,958
[shushing]
85
00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:42,208
Not what, where? Now...
86
00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:43,375
[shushing]
87
00:03:43,458 --> 00:03:46,875
It's an ultra-classified area.
88
00:03:46,958 --> 00:03:49,208
- But shut the fuck up about it.
- Where is it?
89
00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:50,416
[laughs] Oh!
90
00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:53,208
No idea! Only the Commander knows.
91
00:03:54,458 --> 00:03:57,416
Wait, wait, wait!
Did Walt say anything about his murder?
92
00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:58,958
Just...
93
00:03:59,041 --> 00:04:00,541
that he wasn't murdered at all.
94
00:04:00,625 --> 00:04:01,875
[cackles]
95
00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:05,208
Classic Walt! The king of misdirection.
96
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,666
[muffled protest]
97
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:12,750
Guess it's up to me, then, right, Kurt?
98
00:04:14,083 --> 00:04:16,791
[laid-back funky music playing]
99
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,333
- [static crackling]
- [Bobby Ray grunts]
100
00:04:20,416 --> 00:04:22,833
And the Scatter Cam is up.
101
00:04:22,916 --> 00:04:25,833
We got the front view, side view, and...
102
00:04:26,375 --> 00:04:27,916
That's supposed to be a rear view.
103
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,583
Well, then, unfortunately, it is working.
104
00:04:30,666 --> 00:04:31,875
Scatter, you read?
105
00:04:32,458 --> 00:04:35,375
This is kids' stuff,
simple trail and tail, buddy.
106
00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:37,333
[gibbering]
107
00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:43,791
Oh, come on.
108
00:04:46,875 --> 00:04:48,333
Ah, come on!
109
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,208
[gasps] Oh, come on.
110
00:04:53,291 --> 00:04:55,833
Huh. I always imagined
his days would be busier.
111
00:04:59,875 --> 00:05:01,458
[zipper rasps]
112
00:05:01,541 --> 00:05:03,301
[The Commander]
Oh come on. Come on. Come on.
113
00:05:04,708 --> 00:05:06,958
Come on. Come on. Come on.
114
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,291
[zipper rasps]
115
00:05:12,250 --> 00:05:13,250
Got him.
116
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:15,500
[phone line rings]
117
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:18,791
Bertie, how's my number-one person
in the world doing today?
118
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,125
Buttering you up?
Come on now, that's nonsense.
119
00:05:22,208 --> 00:05:23,291
[chuckles]
120
00:05:23,375 --> 00:05:26,000
But yeah, I need a pretty big favor.
121
00:05:31,583 --> 00:05:32,916
[CeCe] Oh, is that a glory hole?
122
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,541
Guess they're not just
for fun airport bathrooms anymore.
123
00:05:35,625 --> 00:05:37,750
- What are you doing here?
- Take it easy.
124
00:05:37,833 --> 00:05:39,166
Are you fucking stalking me?
125
00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:41,541
Hey, it's not stalking
if I don't think you're hot.
126
00:05:41,625 --> 00:05:42,833
To quote my lawyer.
127
00:05:43,458 --> 00:05:44,875
Who I do not think is very good.
128
00:05:44,958 --> 00:05:46,518
You still haven't answered my question.
129
00:05:46,583 --> 00:05:48,791
Look, it wasn't my idea.
The Commander asked me to.
130
00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:51,041
This right here. This right here.
131
00:05:51,125 --> 00:05:53,458
This is why I am done trusting you people.
132
00:05:53,541 --> 00:05:55,250
[sighs] Are you also done
133
00:05:55,333 --> 00:05:56,875
being overly dramatic?
134
00:05:56,958 --> 00:06:00,583
I'm not going to rat you out, okay?
Now, what do you say we hit Sub-Level 7?
135
00:06:00,666 --> 00:06:02,291
This has nothing to do with you.
136
00:06:02,375 --> 00:06:05,541
Oh, come on. I've been dying
to see Sub-Level 7 for years.
137
00:06:05,625 --> 00:06:07,465
Not to mention,
I can maybe find out down there
138
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,916
- if the Commander is secretly my dad.
- What?
139
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,958
Well, I never met my real dad growing up,
140
00:06:12,041 --> 00:06:15,041
and the Commander got super weird
when I tried to seduce him.
141
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,208
You do the math.
142
00:06:16,291 --> 00:06:17,375
[sighs]
143
00:06:17,458 --> 00:06:18,875
Just don't get in my way.
144
00:06:20,666 --> 00:06:21,958
[CeCe] Oh, uh,
145
00:06:22,041 --> 00:06:23,333
based on personal experience,
146
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:26,458
it's a very bad idea to look
directly into a glory hole like that.
147
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:29,541
[Elvis] Jesus,
there are vein lines in there.
148
00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:32,333
Ooh, custom-fit hole, huh?
149
00:06:32,416 --> 00:06:35,000
Okay, well, yours still might work.
Give it a shot.
150
00:06:36,666 --> 00:06:37,791
[sizzling]
151
00:06:41,750 --> 00:06:43,416
Maybe it's all out of acid now?
152
00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:45,375
More like we're totally screwed now.
153
00:06:45,458 --> 00:06:47,583
So you're gonna give up? Just like that?
154
00:06:47,666 --> 00:06:49,541
Wow, you would make a terrible stalker.
155
00:06:49,625 --> 00:06:53,250
Unless there's an exact copy of the guy's
schlong lying around somewhere...
156
00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:54,666
- Actually...
- What?
157
00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:58,041
The Commander was once
in a three-way with Marlon Brando.
158
00:06:58,125 --> 00:07:00,500
What exactly made you think
I wanted to know that?
159
00:07:00,583 --> 00:07:02,458
Ever heard of Penelope Penis Caster?
160
00:07:02,541 --> 00:07:05,083
So let me get this straight.
This woman just runs around
161
00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:07,833
making plaster casts
of famous people's private parts?
162
00:07:07,916 --> 00:07:09,041
Among other things.
163
00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:11,833
She's sort of
a Cynthia Plaster Caster wannabe.
164
00:07:11,916 --> 00:07:14,416
Hang on. You mean
there's more than one of these people?
165
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:17,291
If by "people" you mean artists, then yes.
166
00:07:17,375 --> 00:07:20,208
- [Bobby Ray] Not sure this counts as art.
- This is a real skill.
167
00:07:20,291 --> 00:07:22,625
It takes years to master, okay?
168
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:26,791
You can't just pull perfectly-sculpted
cocks out of thin air, you know,
169
00:07:26,875 --> 00:07:29,916
like some... some birthday party magician.
170
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:33,958
What kind of fucked-up
birthday parties have you been going to?
171
00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:36,000
[funky upbeat music playing]
172
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:38,500
[knocks]
173
00:07:43,041 --> 00:07:47,250
Elvis Presley, as I live and breathe.
174
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:49,041
What brings you to my studio?
175
00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:50,791
Well, I just figured it was time
176
00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:55,416
to wrap my erect penis in plaster
in front of a total stranger.
177
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:58,291
Well, then, you've definitely
come to the right place.
178
00:08:03,833 --> 00:08:07,541
So, how's the papier-mâché dick business?
179
00:08:07,625 --> 00:08:11,708
Belittling description aside,
it's going well. Thanks for asking.
180
00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:15,625
I've waited a long time for this.
181
00:08:15,708 --> 00:08:18,333
Well, you're gonna have to wait
just a bit longer, sweetie,
182
00:08:18,416 --> 00:08:21,041
because my buddy here, he's going first.
183
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,250
What?
184
00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:25,333
You know those folks who taste
your food to make sure it's not poisoned?
185
00:08:25,416 --> 00:08:27,625
It's basically that, but for erections.
186
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:29,750
[gibbers]
187
00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:31,583
Don't worry, I got this.
188
00:08:31,666 --> 00:08:35,875
I can tell what any man's penis looks like
just by looking at him.
189
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,291
It's a thing, trust me.
190
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,000
[uplifting music playing]
191
00:08:52,125 --> 00:08:53,375
There it is.
192
00:08:54,125 --> 00:08:55,791
That is definitely the one.
193
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,000
Huh?
194
00:09:00,375 --> 00:09:02,416
Oh yeah, well, also could be that one.
195
00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:05,041
[Bobby Ray] Ow! Damn it!
196
00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:07,375
- [Penelope] Just relax.
- How's it going in there?
197
00:09:07,458 --> 00:09:09,500
- [wet squishing]
- A little hot at first, but...
198
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:10,833
Ooh!
199
00:09:10,916 --> 00:09:12,500
[Bobby Ray groaning]
200
00:09:13,083 --> 00:09:15,041
But then it's like a warm marshmallow
201
00:09:15,125 --> 00:09:18,041
trying to swallow you whole
from the groin up.
202
00:09:21,583 --> 00:09:24,017
[chuckles] Well, you're painting
quite a picture there, buddy,
203
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:25,441
- but we gotta go.
- [snaps fingers]
204
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,458
[dramatic music playing]
205
00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:31,875
[lock chimes]
206
00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:35,833
Wait, what if the Commander's down there?
207
00:09:35,916 --> 00:09:37,291
Bertie's got it covered.
208
00:09:40,208 --> 00:09:42,833
Gotta be honest, I was a little
surprised you invited me over.
209
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,416
You and me both.
210
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,833
- I'm sorry, what?
- Nothing.
211
00:09:45,916 --> 00:09:48,666
[laughs] I mean,
given how our last date ended.
212
00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:53,458
Oh, you mean the date where you murdered
a bunch of animal rights activists?
213
00:09:53,541 --> 00:09:54,708
Yeah, that's the one.
214
00:09:54,791 --> 00:09:57,791
Know what?
Let's not dwell on the ugly past.
215
00:09:57,875 --> 00:09:59,833
That's my motto. Word for word.
216
00:10:01,416 --> 00:10:04,833
Mind if I slip into something
a little more comfortable?
217
00:10:04,916 --> 00:10:05,791
Mm.
218
00:10:05,875 --> 00:10:07,041
By all means.
219
00:10:07,125 --> 00:10:09,208
[mellow adult contemporary music playing]
220
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,000
Jesus!
221
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:18,916
Christ almighty!
What the hell are you doing?
222
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,500
Apparently, misreading the room. Fuck.
223
00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:28,333
[elevator dings]
224
00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:30,791
[CeCe] Wow.
225
00:10:30,875 --> 00:10:32,250
[Elvis] What is this place?
226
00:10:32,791 --> 00:10:36,500
Yeah, and how come he gets all this,
and I can't even get assigned parking?
227
00:10:38,583 --> 00:10:41,250
- Is that...
- [Elvis] A Beechcraft Bonanza.
228
00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:43,333
Just like the one that killed Buddy Holly.
229
00:10:43,416 --> 00:10:45,250
Uh, more than "just like."
230
00:10:45,791 --> 00:10:47,000
"Project Cricket"?
231
00:10:49,833 --> 00:10:50,833
[Elvis] Is that
232
00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:52,625
the James Dean car?
233
00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:56,750
- There's the Caddy Hank Williams died in.
- Must have all been TCB agents.
234
00:10:56,833 --> 00:10:59,708
More like agents
that TCB got killed, apparently.
235
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:02,708
Okay, what the hell's with the bathtub?
236
00:11:02,791 --> 00:11:03,666
[CeCe gasps]
237
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:06,916
[CeCe] Holy shit! Is that the one
Jim Morrison died in?
238
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,000
[Elvis] Looks like it.
239
00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:09,791
- Goddamn it!
- What?
240
00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:13,000
I could've been hanging out
with Jim Morrison this whole fucking time?
241
00:11:13,083 --> 00:11:15,416
No offense taken,
in case you're wondering.
242
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,291
Is it just me,
or is it creepy as shit down here?
243
00:11:18,375 --> 00:11:19,291
Yeah.
244
00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:22,083
Speaking of,
you know who'd love this place?
245
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:23,166
Comfy?
246
00:11:23,208 --> 00:11:24,666
What the hell is this?
247
00:11:25,541 --> 00:11:26,708
Are you fucking insane?
248
00:11:26,791 --> 00:11:30,125
Don't play stupid, Kurt Russell.
You're not that good of an actor.
249
00:11:30,208 --> 00:11:31,041
[laughs]
250
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:32,500
So you are insane, then.
251
00:11:32,583 --> 00:11:35,125
We both know you killed Walt Disney.
252
00:11:35,208 --> 00:11:37,250
Now you just need to admit it!
253
00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:38,333
Well, I can't.
254
00:11:38,791 --> 00:11:40,666
But only because
I didn't invent lung cancer.
255
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:43,500
- [electricity crackles]
- Oh no, no, no, no! [screams]
256
00:11:44,958 --> 00:11:46,291
[footsteps]
257
00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:48,500
What's this?
258
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:52,208
Kinda looks like the Hall of Presidents
at the World's Fair.
259
00:11:52,791 --> 00:11:55,083
Want some popcorn?
There's a machine in the corner.
260
00:11:55,166 --> 00:11:57,291
No. And stop touching things, would you?
261
00:11:57,375 --> 00:11:58,916
We don't know what's booby-trapped.
262
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,458
Who booby-traps popcorn?
Hey, what do you think this button does?
263
00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:05,708
Hey, focus. We're looking for answers.
264
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,541
Care to be more specific?
265
00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:09,333
Project Tupelo. You ever heard of it?
266
00:12:09,416 --> 00:12:10,291
Uh, nope.
267
00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:13,166
But if I were you, then I'd check out
that creepy-ass tarp over there.
268
00:12:14,541 --> 00:12:16,416
[ominous music playing]
269
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,541
- You sure you want to do that?
- What?
270
00:12:18,625 --> 00:12:21,125
I'm just saying,
sometimes ignorance is bliss.
271
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:24,583
Like when you give herpes to an entire
lacrosse team without even knowing it.
272
00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:26,125
Hypothetically.
273
00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:27,541
[Bertie] You know what you need?
274
00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:30,083
A splash of vermouth would be nice.
275
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,875
What you need is more Jesus in your life.
276
00:12:32,958 --> 00:12:33,791
Ooh.
277
00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:36,458
Afraid I'm gonna
have to pass on the Jesus, yeah.
278
00:12:36,541 --> 00:12:38,583
I'm more of an autotheistic nihilist.
279
00:12:38,666 --> 00:12:40,166
An auto-what now?
280
00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:42,625
It means if there's a God,
it's probably me,
281
00:12:42,708 --> 00:12:44,083
and I still don't give a shit.
282
00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:49,166
See? That right there is exactly why
you need to open your heart to the Lord.
283
00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:50,958
[laughs] Uh, why?
284
00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:53,666
Because then
maybe you wouldn't strip naked
285
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:55,416
in the middle of the damn living room
286
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:58,750
like some half-assed
home invasion porno star.
287
00:12:58,833 --> 00:13:01,073
Where does it say in the Bible
that Jesus never did that?
288
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,791
[Elvis] That's my first guitar.
289
00:13:09,375 --> 00:13:11,333
And there's my old Army uniform.
290
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:15,458
And that's me backstage at my first
concert at the Overton Park Shell.
291
00:13:15,541 --> 00:13:17,083
This is my whole life.
292
00:13:17,583 --> 00:13:18,666
What's this doing here?
293
00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:21,000
Yeah, real head-scratcher.
294
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:22,666
I'm going for a refill.
295
00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:30,708
[ominous music playing]
296
00:13:33,291 --> 00:13:34,291
Again!
297
00:13:35,208 --> 00:13:36,375
Again!
298
00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:37,541
Again!
299
00:13:37,625 --> 00:13:39,291
- [screams]
- Again!
300
00:13:41,083 --> 00:13:43,333
[Elvis breathing heavily]
301
00:13:43,916 --> 00:13:44,916
[CeCe] Are you okay?
302
00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:46,875
What?
303
00:13:46,916 --> 00:13:49,416
You were mumbling,
like in a trance or something.
304
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,083
Holy shit, I remember.
305
00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:53,750
I mean, not everything, but...
306
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,916
Well, I bet this file
might fill in the gaps.
307
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,142
[automated voice]
You fucked with the Commander's shit.
308
00:13:59,166 --> 00:14:00,833
Countermeasures deployed.
309
00:14:00,916 --> 00:14:03,416
Yeah, how about
we don't find out what those are?
310
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:06,041
[ominous music playing]
311
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:10,583
Fucking Howard.
312
00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:14,958
- [electricity crackling]
- [screaming]
313
00:14:15,458 --> 00:14:19,583
Oh hey, listen to me, listen to me.
I didn't fucking kill Walt Disney, okay?
314
00:14:19,666 --> 00:14:21,125
I barely knew the guy.
315
00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:23,958
He was on set
for one day of Follow Me, Boys,
316
00:14:24,041 --> 00:14:25,041
and he was super nice.
317
00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:27,166
I mean, he gave all the kids cigarettes.
318
00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:29,000
Ah, you know what, Kurt?
319
00:14:29,083 --> 00:14:31,625
It kind of feels like
we're just going in circles here.
320
00:14:31,708 --> 00:14:33,875
Well, the important thing is we tried.
321
00:14:33,958 --> 00:14:35,125
Ahem, can I go now?
322
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,250
Or...
323
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:41,791
maybe instead, we should focus on how
you can pay Walt back for your treachery.
324
00:14:42,291 --> 00:14:44,458
Perhaps, and I'm just spitballing here,
325
00:14:44,541 --> 00:14:46,791
with your entire body.
326
00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:48,083
[chuckles]
327
00:14:48,166 --> 00:14:49,708
Actually, minus the head.
328
00:14:49,791 --> 00:14:51,375
The hell are you talking about?
329
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,166
A head transplant, you moron.
330
00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:54,750
A head transplant?
331
00:14:54,833 --> 00:14:55,875
What the fuck?
332
00:14:55,958 --> 00:14:57,208
[Howard] Just picture it!
333
00:14:57,833 --> 00:15:02,208
Walt's beautiful head
on your just-okay body.
334
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:04,333
Jesus!
335
00:15:04,416 --> 00:15:06,291
[ominous music playing]
336
00:15:06,375 --> 00:15:07,916
[gunfire]
337
00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:11,000
- [device beeping]
- What's that?
338
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:12,083
Ugh.
339
00:15:14,375 --> 00:15:16,458
Shit. I gotta get back to the office.
340
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:19,958
Oh, come on.
Can't you just stay a little bit longer?
341
00:15:20,041 --> 00:15:21,166
Really wish I could. Can't.
342
00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:22,625
Seriously, you can't go.
343
00:15:22,708 --> 00:15:24,416
Okay, wait,
what the hell is going on here?
344
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,666
What? Nothing, I swear.
345
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:28,000
I'm leaving.
346
00:15:29,166 --> 00:15:31,583
I'm sorry, but I can't let you do that.
347
00:15:32,416 --> 00:15:33,416
Fuck me.
348
00:15:34,666 --> 00:15:35,666
Oh shit.
349
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:36,916
[gunfire]
350
00:15:38,875 --> 00:15:40,583
You thinking what I'm thinking?
351
00:15:40,666 --> 00:15:42,958
Doubt it. I'm still
kind of stuck on the popcorn.
352
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:48,791
[explosion]
353
00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:50,708
[metal creaking]
354
00:15:50,791 --> 00:15:52,791
[suspense music playing]
355
00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:58,958
Shit! What now?
356
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,541
[Elvis] What are the chances
that thing's still got gas?
357
00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:03,791
How are we doing?
358
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:06,500
Great! I'm having a wonderful time!
359
00:16:07,583 --> 00:16:09,666
Ah, ah. Not falling for that again.
360
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:12,125
Oh good.
So they're invincible and annoying.
361
00:16:13,875 --> 00:16:15,208
No, wait!
362
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:16,791
We gotta go back!
363
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:19,333
Nah, what we gotta do
is find a way out of here.
364
00:16:19,416 --> 00:16:20,416
I need that file!
365
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,708
Do you need it more than being alive?
366
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:28,375
[both grunt]
367
00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:29,750
[tires squeal]
368
00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:33,291
[gunfire]
369
00:16:33,375 --> 00:16:34,541
[Elvis groaning]
370
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,083
[grunts]
371
00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:49,708
- [rumbling]
- [alarm blaring]
372
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:01,916
[elevator dings]
373
00:17:08,708 --> 00:17:09,708
[pee tinkles]
374
00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:11,750
Close one, huh?
375
00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:13,291
So, where are we going?
376
00:17:13,916 --> 00:17:15,875
Maybe go grab a drink, shake it off?
377
00:17:16,375 --> 00:17:18,291
Okay, this is not a reassuring silence.
378
00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:19,416
[Howard panting]
379
00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:23,708
Say, have either of you seen a young man
with a dotted line across his neck?
380
00:17:24,416 --> 00:17:25,333
[Elvis] I'm going home.
381
00:17:25,416 --> 00:17:27,458
And don't fucking follow me.
382
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,250
- [elevator dings]
- Fine.
383
00:17:29,958 --> 00:17:31,083
Nice tone, by the way.
384
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,791
Met your fun little robot friends.
385
00:17:33,875 --> 00:17:35,125
George!
386
00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:38,833
Yep, looks dead to me.
387
00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,875
It wasn't my fault. I swear.
388
00:17:40,958 --> 00:17:43,750
I was just trying to keep him here
like Elvis told me to.
389
00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:46,125
Then look on the bright side:
mission accomplished.
390
00:17:46,208 --> 00:17:47,541
Will you shut the hell up?
391
00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:49,958
Just relax. It'll be fine.
392
00:17:50,041 --> 00:17:50,916
How?
393
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,750
Because this, my friend,
is why God invented unmarked graves.
394
00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:56,000
[gibbering]
395
00:17:56,083 --> 00:17:57,625
- A chain saw?
- Well yeah!
396
00:17:57,708 --> 00:18:00,583
If you chop them up,
the body fits in a way smaller hole.
397
00:18:00,666 --> 00:18:02,386
We used to do it on the farm
all the time...
398
00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:03,958
with cows, mostly.
399
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:05,666
[Scatter chuckling]
400
00:18:08,916 --> 00:18:09,916
Ah!
401
00:18:10,750 --> 00:18:12,625
Fuck! What the hell are you people doing?
402
00:18:12,708 --> 00:18:13,625
[Elvis] Sit down.
403
00:18:13,708 --> 00:18:15,416
[dramatic music playing]
404
00:18:16,708 --> 00:18:18,833
You sit down!
Your friends are about to fuck...
405
00:18:18,916 --> 00:18:20,291
- [gunshot]
- Oh!
406
00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:23,208
Did you seriously
just give me a warning shot?
407
00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:25,833
Nope.
408
00:18:26,291 --> 00:18:27,291
Ah! Fuck!
409
00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:29,125
That was a warning shot.
410
00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:30,750
Now sit.
411
00:18:32,416 --> 00:18:33,583
What the fuck do you want?
412
00:18:33,666 --> 00:18:37,291
I saw my little tribute wall
down on Sub-Level 7.
413
00:18:37,375 --> 00:18:39,208
Sub-Level 7? What's that?
414
00:18:39,291 --> 00:18:40,583
[screams]
415
00:18:40,666 --> 00:18:42,083
Goddamn it!
416
00:18:42,625 --> 00:18:45,875
Oh hell, yeah.
Now this is how you get shit done, King.
417
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:46,791
Good for you.
418
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:47,958
Project Tupelo.
419
00:18:48,041 --> 00:18:50,166
[The Commander]
I told you before, never heard of it.
420
00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:54,083
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Oh, you mean that Project Tupelo.
421
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:55,083
Start talking.
422
00:18:55,166 --> 00:18:56,250
Okay.
423
00:18:57,083 --> 00:19:00,666
You know, I've been
a fan of yours for a long time.
424
00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:02,333
Mm-hmm. Get that a lot.
425
00:19:02,416 --> 00:19:04,250
Not of your music, sorry.
426
00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:05,583
But of your power.
427
00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:09,500
The way you controlled the audience.
Your legions of fans. It was hypnotic.
428
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:12,208
Yeah, if you're done blowing me,
how about you get to the point?
429
00:19:12,291 --> 00:19:14,250
You were the cultural phenomenon.
430
00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:17,625
You started a revolution,
sonny boy, and that scared people.
431
00:19:17,708 --> 00:19:20,041
You had Hoover
and the FBI shitting themselves.
432
00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:22,000
- What?
- Oh yeah.
433
00:19:22,083 --> 00:19:25,250
But what they saw as a threat,
I saw as an opportunity.
434
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:27,375
- For what?
- Oh, you're going to love this.
435
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:28,708
Somehow I doubt that.
436
00:19:28,791 --> 00:19:31,083
The chance to weaponize rock and roll.
437
00:19:31,166 --> 00:19:32,541
- Sorry?
- Imagine it,
438
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:37,125
a device that could duplicate the power,
the control you had over people.
439
00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:39,666
But to do that, first we needed you.
440
00:19:39,750 --> 00:19:41,625
So I had you drafted into the Army.
441
00:19:41,708 --> 00:19:42,708
That was you?
442
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,958
Exactly how long
have you been fucking with my life?
443
00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:48,458
[The Commander]
We had to study you,
444
00:19:48,541 --> 00:19:51,000
to see what makes you tick,
and that's where Leary comes in.
445
00:19:51,083 --> 00:19:52,809
- [Elvis] Oh shit.
- [The Commander] Oh yeah.
446
00:19:52,833 --> 00:19:55,125
He pumped you full
of all kinds of psychedelic crap
447
00:19:55,208 --> 00:19:57,541
that frankly,
I don't even wanna understand.
448
00:19:57,625 --> 00:19:59,750
How come I don't remember any of this?
449
00:19:59,833 --> 00:20:02,875
Well, probably
the exploratory brain surgery.
450
00:20:02,958 --> 00:20:06,375
That, or the mind-erasing chemicals
Leary injected into your eyeball.
451
00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:07,375
It's hard to say which.
452
00:20:07,458 --> 00:20:11,125
The fuck? What, you went inside my head?
453
00:20:11,208 --> 00:20:12,791
Hey, we had to.
454
00:20:12,875 --> 00:20:15,166
That's science. I don't make the rules.
455
00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:18,541
But the good news is
we eventually had a prototype ready,
456
00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:20,416
and we put my idea to the test,
457
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:24,458
harnessing your essence,
your very DNA, in an actual device.
458
00:20:24,541 --> 00:20:28,083
I mean, if Elvis can send
an audience into a sex-crazed delirium,
459
00:20:28,166 --> 00:20:29,458
what else could it do?
460
00:20:29,541 --> 00:20:31,916
Could it make you punch?
Could it make you kick?
461
00:20:32,791 --> 00:20:34,625
Could it make you kill?
462
00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:36,666
[chuckles] And it worked.
463
00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:38,500
- But...
- But what?
464
00:20:38,583 --> 00:20:40,208
But we couldn't control it.
465
00:20:40,291 --> 00:20:42,875
It turns you into an animal,
a homicidal maniac,
466
00:20:42,958 --> 00:20:44,291
and not in a good way.
467
00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:46,083
You son of a bitch.
468
00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:48,041
Yeah, so we had
to shut the whole thing down.
469
00:20:48,125 --> 00:20:49,875
But hey, you're better now though, right?
470
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:51,916
[chuckles]
So what do you say? Bygones?
471
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,166
You know, I was glad
I destroyed your fucked-up Sub-Level 7,
472
00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:57,958
but now you know
what makes me even more happy?
473
00:20:58,041 --> 00:20:59,958
The fact that I shot you twice.
474
00:21:00,041 --> 00:21:01,083
[scoffs] Please.
475
00:21:01,166 --> 00:21:03,125
The real stuff's on Sub-Level 8.
476
00:21:03,208 --> 00:21:06,875
Sub-Level 7 was just a decoy in case
someone ever stole a copy of my penis.
477
00:21:06,958 --> 00:21:07,833
[sighs] Look,
478
00:21:07,916 --> 00:21:10,583
I performed
horrifying experiments on your brain,
479
00:21:10,666 --> 00:21:12,083
you shot me a couple of times.
480
00:21:12,166 --> 00:21:13,875
Point is, things happened.
481
00:21:13,958 --> 00:21:15,250
It doesn't matter anymore,
482
00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:17,041
because you're in TCB now.
483
00:21:17,541 --> 00:21:19,166
I've been watching you for years,
484
00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:22,583
and when your '68 comeback special
put you on top of the world,
485
00:21:22,666 --> 00:21:23,958
I knew it was time.
486
00:21:24,041 --> 00:21:27,416
Time for Elvis Presley
to become Agent King,
487
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:28,875
my greatest triumph!
488
00:21:29,625 --> 00:21:31,708
You really want to throw all that away?
489
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,180
Okay, I really thought I sold that better.
490
00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:36,291
Elvis, look at me.
491
00:21:36,375 --> 00:21:37,958
That won't solve anything.
492
00:21:38,041 --> 00:21:39,541
[CeCe] This probably will though.
493
00:21:40,375 --> 00:21:41,416
[screeches]
494
00:21:43,583 --> 00:21:46,208
[The Commander]
Wow! Wow. Solid entrance.
495
00:21:46,291 --> 00:21:47,416
Picking sides, are you?
496
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:50,166
Look, I know he can be
a complete and total dick sometimes...
497
00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:51,750
Standing right here.
498
00:21:51,833 --> 00:21:53,000
...but you can't kill him.
499
00:21:53,083 --> 00:21:54,750
TCB is the only family I've got.
500
00:21:54,833 --> 00:21:56,833
Sad but true.
I mean, you've met her mother, right?
501
00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:59,708
Look, asshole, I put up
with all your secret agent bullshit
502
00:21:59,791 --> 00:22:01,583
because I thought I could do some good.
503
00:22:01,666 --> 00:22:04,666
Maybe make a difference.
Maybe make tomorrow a little bit better.
504
00:22:04,750 --> 00:22:07,000
Yay. Nice speech. You feeling better now?
505
00:22:07,083 --> 00:22:08,208
You used me.
506
00:22:08,291 --> 00:22:11,666
You used me to create
some kind of rock-and-roll terror weapon.
507
00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:14,041
So no, I'm not exactly feeling better.
508
00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:15,166
[inhales sharply]
509
00:22:15,666 --> 00:22:16,791
But this might help.
510
00:22:22,958 --> 00:22:24,625
[dramatic music playing]
511
00:22:34,958 --> 00:22:35,958
I quit.
512
00:22:36,291 --> 00:22:38,583
Now get the fuck out of my house.
513
00:22:38,666 --> 00:22:41,291
[upbeat rockabilly music playing]