I'll be late. I have a meeting at Austin's school.
Okay, see you then.
What are you playing at, little girl?
-What? -Don't do that.
-Don't do what? -Virginia, is this a game to you?
Is this a game, Mom? No, it's not a game.
No one here is playing games but you.
What is it exactly that you want from me?
I need you to grow the hell up, okay? Grow up.
God, I am so mad, I could just--
Kill me?
Austin, let's go!
It's a funny thing to realize your entire life has been a lie.
The only thing you can trust in this world
is that you can't trust anyone.
Except me.
I'm always gonna be here for you.
Come on, get your jacket.
Trust is a funny thing.
It's so easily abused.
And betrayal leaves a metallic taste.
I'm really enjoying having Austin in class,
but he's behind in a few subjects.
I know he's moved around a lot, so that could be part of it.
He's a smart kid.
Whatever he doesn't know, he'll pick up fast.
It's not just that. Has he shown any signs of anxiety?
Of anxiety?
He's nine.
I would love to have the guidance counselor meet with him,
maybe evaluate him for a possible 504 Plan.
No, no, Austin doesn't need whatever that is.
He's fine. Look, if he's behind, we'll study harder at home.
-I'll make sure of it. -Ms. Miller, uh--
-Uh… -Sorry to interrupt.
Give it back. Now.
He said that he took it from the reflection corner.
I found it in his backpack.
She made me sit there forever.
It was 15 minutes, Zach,
to reflect on why we don't call people "bloody booger face."
Tiffany Griffin is a bloody booger.
I'm so sorry.
He's having such a hard time with everything.
-I understand. -No, I'm not.
Don't blame Dad.
Zach, we do not take what doesn't belong to us.
-You're busy, I'm just gonna-- -Oh no. Just-- It'll--
Thank you. Thank you for this.
What's a 504 Plan?
Sneaking in? You really are my kid.
Hunter.
Hey.
Uh, hey.
Thank you.
Yeah, no-- No problem.
Um…
Was that my arch-nemesis?
Yeah, it was nothing.
Are you okay?
-What was that about? -It's nothing.
What?
-Are we hanging out later? -I can't, I have therapy.
I gotta go. I'll see you later.
Guys, Sophie looks so happy.
I hate it.
"Be kind, it's free."
Yeah, real kind, Sophie, when you ripped my heart out.
She kept our pictures up. What do you think that means?
That she loves you and misses you and wants to get back together.
Really?
No.
Perfect.
'Cause I play the evil, unlovable witch in the musical.
So, you know, different from my everyday life.
Why do you wear these?
There's no glass in them.
You're so weird.
What? Zach, you're his friend now?
Shut up.
Zach?
Something tells me this is not work-related.
-Hey. -Hey.
You okay?
Yeah. Just looking at dresses.
Dresses that are far outside of our budget.
Yeah, we should talk about the budget.
-Yeah, what about it? -I hate it.
Mm.
Alas, milady, I am but a humble civil servant,
so you… you need to think smaller.
Think… intimate.
What about your parents?
What are they getting us for a wedding gift?
Not a wedding, which is where you're going with this.
Georgia, we talked about it, okay? I do not take money from my parents.
-I never have, and I'm not starting now.
Mm-hmm. Who paid for your college again?
Remind me whose Netflix account we're on.
Georgia.
I'm sorry, I'm just saying, if someone has money
and they wanna give it to you, it's none of your business.
She's right. You only get married once.
Unless you get married twice before you're 30, like a tramp.
Is this the draft of the long-term financial plan that I asked you for, Nick?
The summary is that Wellsbury is very expensive.
-Yeah, we knew that.
Looks like Cynthia was not wrong.
Most of this budget is going to the schools.
What is the school budget?
$89,000,000.
Jesus.
Ooh.
-Oh, what do you think? -My God, Jess, I love that one.
So do we know who's gonna be in the limo yet?
Derek said he's getting a Hummer.
-No way. -Oh my God.
-No way. -I'm so excited!
That's pretty.
I love that color.
-Thanks. -Are you shopping for prom too?
Mom.
Can I pretty, pretty please get this purse?
"Mom?"
So last session I heard about your childhood and what got you here.
That was like the tip of the childhood iceberg.
You said you grew up in poverty.
Did you ever feel like you weren't taken care of?
No. No, it wasn't like that.
Georgia took care of us.
It's just her methods were questionable.
I'm sorry, how is any of this related to my self-harm?
We wanna keep identifying your triggers.
Let's talk about the last time you self-harmed.
Thanksgiving.
Okay. And what was going on then?
Do you remember what you were feeling at Thanksgiving?
No.
I'm sensing that you're angry.
Oh, are you? That doctorate really coming through.
I'm sorry.
We have to figure out how we work together so that I can help you help yourself.
You're saying I need to trust you.
Is that a problem for you? It sounds like it is.
Mm. Don't I have to? That's why people come to therapy.
Why did you come to therapy?
To get better.
To not hurt myself.
Thank you.
These are tools I want you to try.
The rubber band is a distractor.
When you feel you wanna self-harm,
snap the rubber band to distract yourself, get out of that moment.
And then when you're out of danger, write your feelings in the notebook.
And if you really think you are going to self-harm,
I want you to call me instead.
Does that sound doable?
I need a commitment that you're going to try.
Giving them to you does nothing if you don't use them.
I'll try the tools.
And, Ginny, it's good that you're angry.
You're letting yourself feel.
Keep watching out for your triggers.
I can't see.
You can't see? Well, that's silly.
Okay.
Now, do you trust me? Okay.
I'm sorry, my daughter must have grabbed this.
-I didn't notice. -Yeah.
No problem.
Did you know that Edith Wharton's home is available for weddings?
The Mount.
Isn't that romantic?
I… I didn't take you for an Edith Wharton fan.
A bunch of the Neighborhood Club women have been to weddings there.
-They were talking about it. -I see.
Hey, by the way, I'm sorry you didn't get into the Neighborhood Club.
-I know you really wanted it. -It's not over till it's over.
I do not want to know what that means.
Hey.
-What about a barn?
-A barn? -Yeah, like a charming, rustic barn.
-Like a barn, like pigs? -No, not pigs. Okay, no.
My friend and his wife, they… they found this barn in Maine,
and they got married there, and it was… it was beautiful.
-I like pigs. You do your homework, you.
I don't wanna get called in for any more "talks."
-What's this? -It's for Austin.
Oh.
Whoa, awesome!
Paul, are you bribing this boy?
What? No, I didn't get him that.
I love this game.
Oh, hi, Mom. Come on in.
You went into my purse?
You used Austin's name.
I figured he might as well get something out of it.
I did that out of necessity.
You like it here? You like this house?
'Cause we almost lost it all.
But why do you still have it?
My credit score is a 315. How'd you figure that?
You think you are so clever, but you are playing with fire.
I'm not scared of you.
Scared of me?
I'm scared of you. You can't be trusted.
-What was that about? -What'd you hear?
Nothing. Just heard the door slam. You guys fighting?
No, it's nothing.
Okay.
-There's a lot of nothing going on. -What's that supposed to mean?
It's…
It's just getting hard to pretend…
…that something's not going on with you.
Oh.
It's hard for you, is it?
Well, if I'm so hard, why don't you just leave?
-What are you doing? -I'm not doing anything, Marcus.
You keep coming here and getting up in my shit,
and honestly, it's annoying.
Yeah, I'm not doing this.
License for a pickleball court. Wanted to hand-deliver it.
How exciting.
Oh, that's wonderful.
-Thank you. -Of course.
-Did Paul go for the Mount? -Mm-mm.
Listen, I know this might be a long shot after Cynthia, but I was thinking--
It's nothing personal, Georgia. It's just the process.
There's a waitlist.
Besides, I'm dealing with a mini-crisis right now.
The book of Emily Dickinson's poems is missing.
What?
Just gone. Middle of the night, someone picked the lock.
Oh no, that's terrible. Who would do something like that?
Well, I'm hoping not one of our members, but…
Maybe it's just a prank.
The historical society is pulling everything we have on loan.
It's horrible.
The whole club's reputation is at stake.
I'm sure it'll turn up.
Hey, are you okay?
I'm fine.
Switch with me?
-Hey. -Hi, Padma.
Could I just grab a… a salted caramel latte?
-Oh, Bracia… -Hey, guys.
-Hey. -Hey, Ginny.
Hi.
-What's wrong? -Only everything.
We got our cast photos back today.
They got me looking like a Milk Dud.
It's not… that bad.
This ain't it. What did Beyoncé say?
-You can't put blue lights on Black girls. -Period.
Mm. The caucacity.
Look what they did to Bryon.
Oh. Still fine though.
At least you'll match.
Hey, what are you doing tonight?
Slowly dying, I guess.
I have an idea.
The food is so good here.
It's nice here. This isn't Sarabeth's.
-This one. -Hi.
Hey, Ginny.
Uh, what can I get for you guys?
Can we get the sweet potato fries?
-Yeah, I'll just, uh, be right back. -Cool.
Hey, why so glum?
-Nothing. -Nothing.
-Couple of grinches.
Yeah.
How was rehearsal?
Well, my character is the evil, ugly witch.
One of my lines is literally, "My jowls quiver with spite."
Oh, well, that's fun.
Mom, it's tragic.
There are no small roles, only small actors.
Dad, gross.
I wanted to be the lead and be all hot, and maybe win Sophie back.
You need to get over Sophie.
Mom, that is the most insensitive thing you could say to me.
I loved her, and I can't just get over her.
That would be like me telling you to just get over Dad.
I mean, it's not exactly like getting over Dad. I hope.
You guys are so mean.
I'm heartbroken, and I cry like every night.
I don't hear you cry.
Oh, that's 'cause you're too busy jerking off!
And what's bothering you?
Global warming.
-Hello. -Periwinkle, lavender, or thistle?
Last one sounds weirdly erotic, but I'm kinda into it.
Come again?
Figuring out my wedding colors.
Ah.
I just wanted to know if you were coming.
Oh, Peach… Uh…
No, I know.
I know.
I don't think I can.
Yeah, I get it. I just--
Is it weird I think you might be one of my only friends?
No. No, it's not weird. You mean a lot to me. You know that.
I love you. I'll always love you.
Yeah. Same.
How fun for us.
That is exactly why I can't be there.
Yeah, I just--
I don't really have family, you know, and that's you.
Thistle.
-Yeah, you think? - Definitely.
Trust the photographer.
Okay, now let's decide on the table settings.
Okay, I'm trying to be understanding here.
All right, fine.
No more wedding talk. We'll just stick to co-parenting.
Oh, hey, your daughter's a demon.
Well, Beelzebub and Bracia just got here, so I gotta go.
Ginny's there?
Hold-- Who's Bracia?
Hello?
Thank you so much, Mr. Miller. This is beyond.
Hey, no problem.
-You're in great hands. My dad's the best. -Clearly.
Um, where was this one shot?
I shot that for National Geographic on my last trip to India.
Oh, casual.
-Uh, so where else have you been? -Everywhere.
Oh yeah. The most dangerous of places.
From the mountains of the Himalayas to the biker bars of Georgia.
Okay, Dad, save it for the book.
Okay, let's go.
All right.
Hey, do whatever feels natural.
Pick up your shoulders,
now drop them.
Breathe.
Forget you've ever felt joy.
Yeah, now glare at me.
-You hate me. Okay.
Okay, uh, now your leg is broken and you're in pain,
but like a cute kind of pain, like a pouty pain.
Yeah.
Ginny, get in there.
What? -Ginny, get in here, please.
Okay.
-Okay. Yes.
Ginny, come on.
Oh my God.
No!
She's everywhere. She's haunting me.
-Oh my-- She looks phenomenal.
I mean, they both do.
Okay, I did not need to see her looking that good today.
I did not need to see that.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
-What? What? -Ow, ow, ow. Cramp attack. Ow.
And you wore white?
I know, okay? Don't remind me.
-You want an Advil or something? -No.
Or a muzzle.
Babe, I can't reach.
-Press, you couldn't handle a period. -Mm.
-Okay, ready? -Mm-hmm.
-Think so. -Yeah, here we go.
Uh, Hunter, bro, you… you good?
What?
It's not like it's about anybody.
No, no, no. Guys, come on, gas up the band. Gas up the band.
-Great job! Yeah!
-Guys, it's a great song! -Babe, so good.
-It's a sad song, but it's great. -Yay.
Jordan, man, you were sloppy on the chorus.
Dog, I am tits-deep in a weed gummy right now.
-I--
Oh, babe, do you want one? It might be good for the cramps.
-Oh. Mm-hmm. -Aw.
Hey, how high do I have to be to never think anything ever again?
Um…
That was really special. Thank you.
Hey, no sweat.
It's good to see you expanding your friend circle.
Is that code for "finally making Black friends"?
So how are things going with Dr. Lily?
She wants me to write my feelings in a journal.
What am I supposed to say?
"Are you there, God? It's me, Ginny."
"Dear Diary, today I wanna burn myself."
How about poetry? You liked making a poem for that contest, right?
Yeah, I didn't win.
Right, because therapy is about winning.
Look, the poem you wrote was beautiful and it came from the heart.
Why not try that?
Dear Diary, today I wanna burn
When, oh, when will I ever learn?
God, she's healed. It's a miracle.
Thank you, God. Thank you, Freud. Thank you, Amanda Gorman.
There's that smile.
It's good to see that smile.
Thanks for not telling Mom.
Hey, as long as you're safe and healthy.
Ginny, music down!
You don't want me to come in there.
So this is sad.
-You have lunch this block? -No, I'm in chem.
-I don't wanna talk. -Okey doke.
I'm sorry.
-What? -I'm sorry.
-What? -Okay, yeah.
-What are you writing? -Poetry. Ew.
-I said it out loud, and I hate it. -Why? Poetry's cool.
Can I hear one?
A poem?
Yeah.
Okay. Um…
Give me a word, any word.
Uh…
Christmas.
-"Christmas?" -Yeah.
That rhymes with like nothing.
-Poems don't have to rhyme. -I know that.
Christmas. Christmas.
Christmas feels like Halloween
I'm haunted
-I like that. -Shut up, I'm doing poetry.
Christmas feels like Halloween
I'm haunted
The air is dusty, the room is musty
The crab is crusty
-See, that rhymes. Yeah? -Mm. Mm-hmm.
In your absence, everything's tense
Nothing makes sense
Are you coming back?
Am I in denial, or just incredibly dense?
There's a shiver, dust in the air
Am I dumb? Yes
But have things been damaged Beyond repair?
Oh shit.
I stubbornly stay stuck in a place Not wanting to break free
Not wanting to leave the space Where you used to be
Allowing you room to come back to me And make it right
But I know you're never coming back
Not after that night
Not after that fight
I'm coming back. I'm back.
-No, it's not about you. It's just a poem.
-Okay. -So…
Christmas feels like Halloween
I'm haunted
This is sickening.
Are you gonna blow him? Kinda looks like you're gonna blow him.
Piss off, Max.
Bite me, Marcus.
Oh.
Max, can I talk to you for a sec?
-No, thanks. -Oh. I know, I know.
I just wanted to tell you, um,
that I was at Blue Farm, and I saw Sophie there.
What?
And she was on a date with a guy.
-I wanted you to hear it from me first-- -Screw you, Abby.
-That's a new low, even for you. -Oh no, Max, I did not--
No, please leave me alone.
Do you wanna skip next block and go smoke weed?
Uh, yup.
This is really cute.
What, my room?
Eh.
Okay.
Yes.
If you're to look like anybody, who would you wanna look like?
-I don't know. Willow Smith. -Mm.
-How about you? -Oh, Hailey Bieber, easy.
She's such a queen.
I feel like it's a privilege to exist at the same time that she exists.
True.
-Thank you. -Yeah.
Blow, marry, kill.
Jordan, Press, Brodie.
Ew.
Do it.
-Do it. - That's gross.
-Ugh! Okay.
-I'd… I'd blow Brodie. -Yeah, you would.
-I'd… I'd kill Press. -Yeah, you would.
And I'd marry Jordan.
-Ew! -What? Jordan. I'd marry Jordan.
It's like a full-on 7-Eleven in there.
Oh, I try to avoid leaving these four walls as much as possible, dude.
It's been so weird with my mom these past couple of days.
It's just like weirdly… quiet.
I'm sorry.
Mm, not your fault. It's my dad's fault for leaving.
-Yeah, but that sucks, and I get that.
Yeah.
Well, I'm probably just gonna end up blowing a bunch of guys
and it's gonna be his fault for giving me daddy issues.
Speaking of…
you're, like, totally with boy Baker now, aren't you?
-Right? -Yeah, I think so.
Definitive.
I-- I mean, we're talking, and… he sleeps over a lot.
-Oh, scandalous! -No, no, no, no.
-No, it's not-- It's not like that. -What do you mean?
No, it's nice. It's nice. He's…
He's…
You really like him, huh?
Yeah.
We should start a girl band called Daddy Issues.
-We could have matching teen pregnancies.
And if I got a teen pregnancy, my mom would abort me.
She'd keep the baby, but she'd abort me.
I wonder what we'd even look like if we were pregnant.
Mm.
Hot.
You're really pretty, you know that?
Ew.
It is so wild to me, bro, that your mom was pregnant right now.
At our age. Like that could literally be us,
except I don't have sex 'cause everybody's terrible.
And not to, like,
-talk shit or anything… -Oh, no, Abby, talk shit. Give it to me.
…Maxine is being…
-Say it. -…a raging bitch.
-Thank you. I know. I agree. -But it's just, like, get over yourself.
-You know what I mean? Get over yourself. -Thank you.
I really hate Norah for just going along with everything Max is saying.
I know. It stings.
And I hate Hunter for blaming me for everything that happened.
I hate Press for being such a bullshit sociopath.
-He full on scares me. -What the--
But so do you, so…
I scare you?
Oh, very much. Yes, definitely.
Okay, what are you--
Are you scared, Miller?
Do you feel better?
What do you think?
You wanna do something crazy?
Um…
Yeah. I-- Maybe. Why, what is it?
Mm. This is an example of you scaring me.
Josh Spear. That's who Sophie was on a date with.
I found a Venmo payment.
-I'm sorry, babe. -I just don't get it, you know?
Like, how can she go from me to him so quick?
We just broke up. I feel really stupid.
Look, I'm sure you're gonna get over her a lot faster than you think you will.
That's, like, not very supportive.
I'm not being supportive?
Ginny Miller. Abby Littman.
Were you just skipping class?
Come with me.
Hello.
This is she.
Okay.
I'm sorry, if Ginny says she was at a dentist appointment,
why are you calling me?
Are you insinuating that my daughter is lying?
No, that's okay.
I understand. No, of course you have to check.
All right.
Thanks so much. Bye-bye.
-Hi. -Hi.
Here you go.
All right, let's go.
Hey there.
Hi, Mom.
I know that you've been having a hard time lately,
so… I bought you a present.
And it comes with a really pretty girl on the bag.
Mom, this is really cute.
Thanks, Mom.
I love you.
I love you too, sweetie.
I'm so sorry for stopping by like this.
It seems like Zach was playing with Austin's new game,
-and now Austin can't find it. -Oh.
God. Okay. Please excuse the mess. I haven't had any time to clean,
and I'm in the middle of a mental breakdown.
And now I have to find his backpack. Uh…
Oh yeah.
Christ, that's brutal. I'd want someone to pull the plug.
It would be a mercy, but we're not here to play God.
-I'm so sorry about this. -Oh, don't be.
Oh, what's that?
Oh, crap.
Crap.
-Crap, crap! -Oh.
They sent an email out about this. He must have nicked it.
Oh, you must be loving this.
No, I'm honestly not.
I know how hard it is for a kid to lose their dad.
Austin didn't speak for a month when his dad was arrested.
Yeah, I was just gonna say that I'll have his dad talk to him, but I…
I can't say that, can I?
Hey, we moms have to stick together, okay?
Yeah, right.
I'm not a monster, Cynthia.
Okay, well, I'm gonna ignore that.
How about this?
I'll take the book and return it to the club.
Say it was turned in to the mayor's office anonymously.
-Zach never needs to be mentioned. -You'd do that?
Of course.
You know, and maybe you could do a little, tiny something for me.
No eating unless you're on break.
Are you high?
-No. -You're totally stoned right now.
What is going on with you?
I'm fine.
Are you having another date?
Yikes. Stern Joe.
Mm. I am stoned. Yeah.
Marcus is really rubbing off on you.
Maybe I'm rubbing off on Marcus.
Hey, can I ask you something?
What happened between you and Hunter?
'Cause at rehearsal, he was, like… very sad.
Why? What did he say?
He wrote a song.
Not another song.
It sucks when you're with someone
and you're into them way more than they're into you.
I was into Hunter.
I was just into Marcus way more.
I'm sorry.
I just get why Hunter's upset.
Yeah, you know, I'm the bad guy who cheated on perfect Hunter, okay?
I'm the villain, I'm evil. Oh, it's just so fun to hate Ginny.
It wasn't just me, you know? He's not completely blameless.
Sorry to unload on you. I'm just--
I'm going through a lot right now, you know?
And I can't even talk to anyone about what's really going on,
not even my therapist.
By the way, I'm in therapy now.
I don't know why I'm telling you this.
I'm really stoned.
I don't think you're evil.
Thank you.
Well, I did it. We're in the Neighborhood Club.
Really?
Even after Cynthia ripped you a new one?
She had a change of heart. Poor thing, she's going through a hard time.
And how, may I ask, did you do that?
Never mind. Never mind.
As usual, you got what you wanted.
-That's gotta make you happy, right? -So happy.
Everything's perfect.
Mm.
Your hair.
Ya like?
I hate it.
Excuse me, miss, not so fast.
I covered for you today, thank you very much.
Where were you? I know you weren't at the dentist.
I was smoking weed and skipping school. Is that what you wanna hear?
Oh yeah, that's my dream.
Sure you want Paul here for this?
I'm done. I can go.
Paul's marrying me. He's here for all of it.
You sure about that? All of it?
Go to your room.
-Right now. -Why?
We're all such a happy family. You, me, Paul, Austin, Mary.
Who's Mary?
Hey--
What do you think makes a bad person?
A bad person?
Yeah.
I guess a desire to do bad things.
What if they… they do these things, but they think they need to?
Uh, I think it's rare for things to be as clean-cut as good or bad.
It's usually something in the middle.
What if it's something that's undeniably terrible?
Is there any redemption for that?
I think I need details.
It's my mom.
She's done some really messed up…
I can't even say it.
Just think about the worst thing you could do.
What, did she murder someone?
Oh.
Okay.
Damn. Um…
Something just changed.
Like, I know, it's… it's so bad and it's dark,
and now there's this something in the room with us.
No. Come on.
This is my mother.
This is the woman that gave birth to me, and she… she did this…
this horrific thing, and--
-Who else knows about it? -I don't know.
This detective guy, he's a private investigator.
Who'd she kill?
-Jesus. -What?
Who'd she kill? Like that's a normal question?
No, it's not normal.
I don't like how calm you're being. It's really freaking me out.
I mean, how can you be so calm after what I've just told you?
I wouldn't put much past your mom.
-She's a-- -Psycho.
A force.
Anything that gets in her way gets taken down.
-This… kinda makes sense.
Nothing makes sense. Are you kidding me?
-Literally, nothing makes sense. -Hey, breathe.
Am I like that?
Am I a force?
Are you?
I don't know.
-Who'd she kill?
My stepdad.
Was he a good guy?
No, not really.
Okay, then.
What?
"Okay, then?"
Like, so it's just fine? He's not a good guy, so uh-oh time to die?
You're acting like you want me to get mad at you or something.
You didn't do this.
No, but I know about it, and I feel like I did it.
How'd she do it?
Poison.
-Badass. -Marcus.
Shit. I can't…
I can't believe your mom killed a guy.
Yeah.
Hey.
-What… What are you doing? -I don't wanna think, hmm?
Hey, no. No.
Come on.
-Never mind. I gotta-- I need to go. -No. Hey, come on.
-Ginny-- Ginny, stop. -Just let me--
-Marcus-- -Stop.
I wonder what it felt like…
for the air to leave your lungs like that.
For you to know that that's your last breath.
-Come on.
-Come here.
Marcus, you can't tell anyone, okay?
I mean it.
I won't.
Come on.
-It's okay.
I don't wanna be like her.
I don't wanna be a force.
Why'd you do it, Mom?
Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.
I need to know.
For you.
For me.
For my family.
It wasn't something I did lightly.
I'm not proud of how I got us here, but I'm proud I got us here.
I never said I was a good person.
You're my mom.
I need to believe you're a good person.
It would be nice, huh?
If it was that simple, huh?
You wanna know why I did it?
I don't know that I ever felt I had another option.
You could always not murder.
Not murdering is an option.
Do you even feel remorse?
There was no one protecting me, Ginny.
No one.
You have no idea how lucky you are to have me. I'd kill for you.
I'd actually kill for you.
Let that sink in. That's not nothing.
And I may be wrong, and I may be horrible,
and I may be ugly and not worthy of anything.
Fine, I'm not worthy of anything.
But you are.
And it was up to me to make sure you got that.
And I did that. Like it or not, I did that.
I took all the darkness, and I ate it.
I became it, like fricking Bane.
Okay? So that you, my daughter, could live a good life.
I kept you safe. 'Cause that hand doesn't stop on the thigh,
and I spent my whole childhood wishing my mom would stop that hand.
I've got a lot of demons. A lot of nightmares in my past.
And I had a choice.
I could live in the past, drown in it, feel it every day, be there.
But you have to live for the future, 'cause the past'll eat you.
There's more to life than that hell.
You and Austin, you're my future.
You're what I live for.
The second that test told me I was pregnant…
I mean, I was 15. I was younger than you are right now.
And then that strip turned pink in a rest station bathroom in Georgia,
and everything had to change.
I left that bathroom, and I saw this group of kids. They were so happy.
They didn't have a care in the world.
They wore nice clothes, and they were smiling,
and they were loved.
You could tell these kids were loved, they were taken care of.
They were my age, but they were loved and I wasn't.
I decided right then you were never gonna be like me,
you were gonna be like them.
And I knew I would do anything, anything to make that happen.
And it took a long time, and it wasn't easy, but I did it.
I got you on that bus with those kids.
So you can hate me,
you can think I'm the worst mother in the entire world, and maybe I am,
but I got you on that bus.
I did what I had to do, and I'd do it again.
I have no remorse.
Everything I do is for you and your brother.
You don't trust me? Trust that.
And I really do like your hair.
Thanks, Mom.
Come here.
But you can't tell anyone.
You know that, right? Promise me.
I promise.
Me and you against the world, right?
Mom, if you're done borrowing my game, can I have it now?
Mm.
Trust is a tricky thing…
-because trust goes both ways.
We're in this together now.