1 00:00:10,798 --> 00:00:12,497 JOHN WILSON: Hey, New York. 2 00:00:12,564 --> 00:00:14,631 ♪ (QUIET MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 3 00:00:14,698 --> 00:00:16,898 I spend a lot of time with my landlord. 4 00:00:18,331 --> 00:00:21,764 I usually go down to her apartment around 7 o'clock, 5 00:00:21,831 --> 00:00:23,931 and we watch Jeopardy! together. 6 00:00:25,431 --> 00:00:27,030 She even gives me slippers 7 00:00:27,097 --> 00:00:29,297 to make sure that, uh, my feet aren't cold, 8 00:00:29,364 --> 00:00:32,230 and insists that I call her "Mama." 9 00:00:32,664 --> 00:00:33,831 Thank you, Mama. 10 00:00:34,764 --> 00:00:36,631 She also likes to come into my apartment 11 00:00:36,698 --> 00:00:39,898 and handpick all the trash out of my trash can, uh, 12 00:00:39,964 --> 00:00:43,364 so that I can save money on trash bags. 13 00:00:43,431 --> 00:00:45,464 She shows me, uh, art that she made. 14 00:00:45,531 --> 00:00:47,331 Oh, that's very nice. 15 00:00:47,397 --> 00:00:49,064 And brings me cactus. 16 00:00:49,564 --> 00:00:51,130 And cucumbers. 17 00:00:51,197 --> 00:00:53,664 And insists on doing my laundry, 18 00:00:53,731 --> 00:00:56,931 uh, because she says that the laundromat has lice in it. 19 00:00:56,997 --> 00:00:58,898 Oh, thank you. 20 00:00:58,964 --> 00:01:02,798 She's the only person in my life that I never vape around. 21 00:01:02,864 --> 00:01:04,798 If I ever need to take a puff, 22 00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:07,197 I always just run back to my apartment first... 23 00:01:09,497 --> 00:01:11,397 and then I come back down. 24 00:01:11,464 --> 00:01:14,431 And she never seems to notice. 25 00:01:14,497 --> 00:01:16,864 But the nicest thing is that she likes to cook for me 26 00:01:16,931 --> 00:01:18,497 all the time. 27 00:01:18,564 --> 00:01:21,997 Sometimes it's a stew or a dessert, 28 00:01:22,064 --> 00:01:23,698 but it's always delicious. 29 00:01:23,764 --> 00:01:24,931 Thank you. 30 00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:26,264 I really wanted to repay her 31 00:01:26,331 --> 00:01:28,931 for all the amazing food she made me. 32 00:01:28,997 --> 00:01:30,698 Then I remembered she once mentioned 33 00:01:30,764 --> 00:01:32,931 that her favorite food was risotto, 34 00:01:32,997 --> 00:01:34,564 and I bet it would impress her a lot 35 00:01:34,631 --> 00:01:36,831 if I could figure out how to do it right. 36 00:01:36,898 --> 00:01:38,631 So like any good tenant, 37 00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:40,531 I decided to surprise my landlord 38 00:01:40,597 --> 00:01:45,297 and see how hard it really is to cook the perfect risotto. 39 00:01:48,531 --> 00:01:50,264 ♪ (ITALIAN MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 40 00:01:50,331 --> 00:01:53,497 JOHN: As legend has it, the first documented risotto 41 00:01:53,564 --> 00:01:57,798 was made by a glassblower's apprentice around 1809, 42 00:01:57,864 --> 00:02:00,130 uh, for a wedding feast. 43 00:02:00,197 --> 00:02:02,097 And ever since, it's been enjoyed 44 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:05,097 and reinterpreted by chefs all over the world. 45 00:02:06,964 --> 00:02:09,431 When preparing an ethnic dish, 46 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:11,464 the most important thing is to respect 47 00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:15,030 the rich cultural heritage from which it emerged. 48 00:02:15,097 --> 00:02:17,564 And a great way to do that is to learn a few words 49 00:02:17,631 --> 00:02:18,864 of the language. 50 00:02:20,097 --> 00:02:23,097 Buongiorno, uh, means "good morning." 51 00:02:24,030 --> 00:02:26,664 Buonasera, uh, means "good night." 52 00:02:27,531 --> 00:02:29,898 A cavalla is a horse. 53 00:02:29,964 --> 00:02:33,230 But we both have the exact same word for limousine 54 00:02:33,731 --> 00:02:35,097 and peperoni. 55 00:02:35,164 --> 00:02:38,931 And if anyone is rushing you, just kindly say, "Un momento," 56 00:02:38,997 --> 00:02:41,130 and that should solve the problem. 57 00:02:41,197 --> 00:02:42,798 ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 58 00:02:42,864 --> 00:02:44,798 If it's your first time making risotto, 59 00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:47,164 you'll wanna research who the best in the world is 60 00:02:47,230 --> 00:02:48,764 and see how they do it. 61 00:02:49,431 --> 00:02:50,964 Based on the videos you find, 62 00:02:51,030 --> 00:02:53,831 it seems like you need to be in a completely tranquil, 63 00:02:53,898 --> 00:02:57,364 zen state in order to do it well. 64 00:02:57,431 --> 00:03:00,664 DANILO CORTELLINI: (ON COMPUTER) There's always been a certain charm about risotto. 65 00:03:00,731 --> 00:03:03,631 But charm by itself doesn't cut it. 66 00:03:03,698 --> 00:03:05,264 You need the perfect texture. 67 00:03:06,564 --> 00:03:08,464 You need the perfect flavor. 68 00:03:08,531 --> 00:03:10,964 JOHN: It also seems like having a risotto journal, 69 00:03:11,030 --> 00:03:13,130 uh, helps a lot, because you need a place 70 00:03:13,197 --> 00:03:15,798 to sketch your dream risotto, 71 00:03:15,864 --> 00:03:18,264 uh, and take notes during the process. 72 00:03:19,431 --> 00:03:21,864 But if you don't personally know any competitive chefs, 73 00:03:21,931 --> 00:03:24,497 it might be a good idea to just ask around 74 00:03:24,564 --> 00:03:26,531 to see if anyone knows how to cook it. 75 00:03:27,764 --> 00:03:30,030 So when you're walking around your neighborhood, 76 00:03:30,097 --> 00:03:34,597 just keep your eyes, uh, peeled for, uh, any Italian flags. 77 00:03:34,664 --> 00:03:37,397 And if you see one, just start walking towards it, 78 00:03:37,464 --> 00:03:39,731 and hopefully someone near the flag 79 00:03:39,798 --> 00:03:41,230 will know how to cook it. 80 00:03:41,297 --> 00:03:42,564 Do you know how to make risotto? 81 00:03:42,631 --> 00:03:45,431 Risotto is actually one of my favorite dishes. 82 00:03:45,497 --> 00:03:46,497 JOHN: Oh, really? 83 00:03:46,564 --> 00:03:47,964 And if you ask nicely, 84 00:03:48,030 --> 00:03:50,864 he might actually give you a lesson in his kitchen, 85 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,464 just for you, one on one. 86 00:03:52,531 --> 00:03:54,798 Your stock has to be really good. 87 00:03:54,864 --> 00:03:57,597 -JOHN: Oh, yeah? -Because if it's not... (SCOFFS) 88 00:03:57,664 --> 00:03:59,464 JOHN: What kind-- what kind of rice do you use? 89 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:02,030 Oh, you have to use Arborio, there's no choice. 90 00:04:02,097 --> 00:04:03,297 -Monica! -MONICA: Yeah? 91 00:04:03,364 --> 00:04:06,397 GIO: We need-- we need the Arborio rice up here. 92 00:04:06,464 --> 00:04:09,564 -MONICA: Okay, I'm coming. -GIO: I think it's, uh, I think it's still downstairs. 93 00:04:09,631 --> 00:04:11,997 I do butter, I do butter and olive oil. 94 00:04:12,064 --> 00:04:13,798 -Extra virgin, has to be. -JOHN: Okay. 95 00:04:13,864 --> 00:04:16,464 (KNIFE SHARPENER WHIRRING) 96 00:04:16,531 --> 00:04:20,030 GIO: Here we go, we do the ar-- Oh! I'm so sorry. 97 00:04:20,097 --> 00:04:21,698 I've been doing this for many, many years. 98 00:04:21,764 --> 00:04:22,931 I don't measure anything. 99 00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:25,331 Monica! I need the small cutting board, 100 00:04:25,397 --> 00:04:26,898 under the sink, please. 101 00:04:27,698 --> 00:04:30,297 Bam, bam, bam. 102 00:04:30,364 --> 00:04:32,698 You have to constantly stir. 103 00:04:33,331 --> 00:04:34,397 Bam! 104 00:04:34,464 --> 00:04:37,097 Parmigiano-Reggiano, you have to use that cheese. 105 00:04:37,164 --> 00:04:39,064 -JOHN: Okay. -Hold on! 106 00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:40,931 -Don't distract me. -JOHN: Okay. 107 00:04:40,997 --> 00:04:42,798 -You need sea salt. -JOHN: Okay. 108 00:04:42,864 --> 00:04:43,964 -Sea salt! -JOHN: Okay. 109 00:04:44,030 --> 00:04:47,664 Monica, is my-- is my, uh, my white pepper up here? 110 00:04:47,731 --> 00:04:49,331 No, I think it's downstairs. 111 00:04:49,397 --> 00:04:50,497 GIO: Okay, thank you. 112 00:04:50,564 --> 00:04:52,097 You gotta follow the rules. 113 00:04:52,164 --> 00:04:53,831 But you also gotta make your own rules 114 00:04:53,898 --> 00:04:55,097 that work for you. 115 00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:58,164 It's not-- it's not one size fits all, my friend. 116 00:04:58,230 --> 00:05:00,397 -JOHN: Okay, so-- -This is how you make a risotto. 117 00:05:00,464 --> 00:05:02,497 JOHN: And after the lesson, if you're lucky, 118 00:05:02,564 --> 00:05:04,631 uh, he may also show you some of his artwork 119 00:05:04,698 --> 00:05:05,864 that he made. 120 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,397 Now, this is the Southwest. It's like-- like, uh, 121 00:05:08,464 --> 00:05:12,097 the petroglyphs, uh, Arizona. 122 00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:15,764 I believe there was also, you know, alien beings 123 00:05:15,831 --> 00:05:18,264 over there that-- that gave us a little bit more knowledge. 124 00:05:18,331 --> 00:05:20,431 -JOHN: In Arizona? -This is an-- 125 00:05:20,497 --> 00:05:23,731 Arizo-- Yeah, all over, you know, the Aztecs, the Incas. 126 00:05:24,997 --> 00:05:28,064 JOHN: They-- Wait. The-- the aliens, like-- 127 00:05:28,130 --> 00:05:29,664 Well, we-- I think we are-- 128 00:05:29,731 --> 00:05:32,331 we have definitely been-- might have-- 129 00:05:32,397 --> 00:05:34,397 we have been impregnated by, uh-- 130 00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,230 We have some, uh-- We are actually the aliens. 131 00:05:36,297 --> 00:05:38,364 -♪ (ITALIAN MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -JOHN: So, once you've heard enough, 132 00:05:38,431 --> 00:05:41,331 uh, head straight to the store and get all your ingredients. 133 00:05:41,397 --> 00:05:43,964 Chicken stock, Parmigiano, 134 00:05:44,030 --> 00:05:46,898 uh, butter, shallot, garlic, 135 00:05:46,964 --> 00:05:49,997 and that special Arborio rice. 136 00:05:50,064 --> 00:05:52,297 -And don't forget the pesce. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 137 00:05:52,364 --> 00:05:53,597 And when you get home, 138 00:05:53,664 --> 00:05:55,597 it's time to put everything you learned into practice. 139 00:05:55,664 --> 00:05:57,030 ♪ (PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 140 00:05:57,097 --> 00:06:00,497 Start by getting into that tranquil, uh, zen state of mind. 141 00:06:00,564 --> 00:06:02,364 DANILO: You need the perfect texture. 142 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,297 You need the perfect flavor. 143 00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:07,898 JOHN: Then you're gonna boil four cups of chicken broth 144 00:06:07,964 --> 00:06:09,597 and set it aside for later. 145 00:06:10,698 --> 00:06:12,864 Then you cook the shallot, uh, I think, 146 00:06:12,931 --> 00:06:14,531 and then the garlic. 147 00:06:14,597 --> 00:06:17,331 Then after a couple of minutes, you put the rice in 148 00:06:17,397 --> 00:06:18,964 and stir it around. 149 00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:22,997 And then a little wine, I think. I'm pretty sure. 150 00:06:23,064 --> 00:06:25,831 Then, uh, while that's going, you're gonna need to check 151 00:06:25,898 --> 00:06:28,431 one of your eBay listings, uh, that's ending soon 152 00:06:28,497 --> 00:06:30,064 while the wine reduces. 153 00:06:30,130 --> 00:06:34,230 But then it starts to smell, so, uh, you put it on medium. 154 00:06:34,297 --> 00:06:37,030 Med-- medium low, that-- that seems good. 155 00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:40,597 Then you take the broth and pour it in a ladle at a time 156 00:06:40,664 --> 00:06:43,197 until it's absorbed by the rice. 157 00:06:43,264 --> 00:06:44,931 And while you're waiting for that, 158 00:06:44,997 --> 00:06:46,931 you try to say hello to your landlord, 159 00:06:46,997 --> 00:06:48,531 who's gardening outside. 160 00:06:49,064 --> 00:06:50,331 'Ello, Mama! 161 00:06:55,497 --> 00:06:56,997 But if she doesn't hear you, 162 00:06:57,064 --> 00:06:59,631 just put in a ladle of broth and try again. 163 00:07:00,531 --> 00:07:02,798 Hey, Mama! Hey, Mama! 164 00:07:05,731 --> 00:07:08,631 And continue this process, uh, until you're out of broth. 165 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:10,731 'Ello, Mama! 166 00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:15,364 This should take around 15 minutes. 167 00:07:15,431 --> 00:07:17,130 Now it's time for the pesce. 168 00:07:17,197 --> 00:07:18,898 But you don't have a blowtorch, 169 00:07:18,964 --> 00:07:21,898 so, uh, you can just throw it on the grill. 170 00:07:21,964 --> 00:07:25,564 Uh, but don't forget about the... (CLEARS THROAT) ...rice. 171 00:07:25,631 --> 00:07:27,597 When the fish is on fire, you can take it off. 172 00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:28,831 Uh, it should be done. 173 00:07:28,898 --> 00:07:31,631 Then you gotta grate some cheese as a finishing touch. 174 00:07:31,698 --> 00:07:34,030 Uh, but not before you notice that there's cat vomit 175 00:07:34,097 --> 00:07:37,397 all over the floor and you have to clean that up first. 176 00:07:37,464 --> 00:07:39,030 And then you stir in the cheese. 177 00:07:39,097 --> 00:07:40,397 But you're not quite done yet. 178 00:07:40,464 --> 00:07:42,097 DANILO: Then stir and toss with energy 179 00:07:42,164 --> 00:07:43,731 until oozy and creamy. 180 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,464 ♪ (MUSIC SWELLS) ♪ 181 00:07:54,764 --> 00:07:56,431 JOHN: And then you're on the home stretch, 182 00:07:56,497 --> 00:07:58,964 and you can put everything on the plate. 183 00:07:59,030 --> 00:08:02,164 ♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ 184 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,164 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 185 00:08:19,230 --> 00:08:20,664 And your risotto is complete. 186 00:08:21,431 --> 00:08:22,698 But when you're done, 187 00:08:22,764 --> 00:08:26,597 uh, it doesn't look quite like the Italian's did. 188 00:08:26,664 --> 00:08:28,798 And it may seem a little... gluey. 189 00:08:28,864 --> 00:08:30,197 ♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 190 00:08:30,264 --> 00:08:33,431 And when you review everything you did in your risotto journal, 191 00:08:33,497 --> 00:08:35,931 you can't understand where you went wrong. 192 00:08:38,431 --> 00:08:40,664 You figure homemade chicken stock could help, 193 00:08:40,731 --> 00:08:44,097 but it's not enough to save your second attempt. 194 00:08:44,164 --> 00:08:46,964 And your third attempt is a scorched mess. 195 00:08:47,864 --> 00:08:49,631 Mushrooms didn't help your fourth. 196 00:08:49,698 --> 00:08:51,197 It's gluey again. 197 00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,497 And despite your rigorous note-taking, 198 00:08:53,564 --> 00:08:56,197 each time you try, you'll fail, 199 00:08:56,264 --> 00:08:59,597 for reasons that you don't fully understand. 200 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:01,898 And you may start feeling a carousel 201 00:09:01,964 --> 00:09:05,698 of frustrating emotions that are brand new to you. 202 00:09:05,764 --> 00:09:07,964 But just make sure to swallow your frustration, 203 00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:09,798 and try not to ruin the surprise 204 00:09:09,864 --> 00:09:11,898 for the person you're cooking for. 205 00:09:11,964 --> 00:09:13,764 ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 206 00:09:13,831 --> 00:09:16,264 At this point, you may notice that you're also having 207 00:09:16,331 --> 00:09:20,064 a hard time with other simple, everyday tasks, 208 00:09:20,130 --> 00:09:22,864 and it's not just your risotto that's suffering. 209 00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:27,464 And then you realize that all your problems 210 00:09:27,531 --> 00:09:29,731 may have something to do with the fact that 211 00:09:29,798 --> 00:09:32,164 you haven't had nicotine in over a week. 212 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:34,531 ♪ (QUIET MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 213 00:09:34,597 --> 00:09:36,497 Back when you were in your early twenties, 214 00:09:36,564 --> 00:09:38,230 you started smoking to look cool. 215 00:09:38,964 --> 00:09:40,597 And it worked. 216 00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:43,364 But that slowly developed into a pack-a-day habit 217 00:09:43,431 --> 00:09:46,230 that went on for a lot longer than it should've. 218 00:09:46,898 --> 00:09:48,197 And then when you turned 30, 219 00:09:48,264 --> 00:09:50,931 you decided to finally quit combustible cigarettes 220 00:09:50,997 --> 00:09:53,197 and go digital, like everybody else. 221 00:09:55,164 --> 00:09:57,464 You would blow clouds wherever you wanted, 222 00:09:57,531 --> 00:09:59,064 like you owned the streets. 223 00:10:00,931 --> 00:10:03,130 You even developed a vape-sized hole in your pocket 224 00:10:03,197 --> 00:10:05,497 that you kept having to sew shut. 225 00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:08,497 And that led to a sore on your thigh that never healed, 226 00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,731 uh, where it poked through your jeans. 227 00:10:11,831 --> 00:10:13,497 Finally, seeing the amount of trash 228 00:10:13,564 --> 00:10:15,230 you generated over the course of a month 229 00:10:15,297 --> 00:10:16,664 disgusted you. 230 00:10:16,731 --> 00:10:19,164 So, a week ago, you froze all your vapes 231 00:10:19,230 --> 00:10:21,064 in an attempt to stop yourself 232 00:10:21,130 --> 00:10:23,464 from consuming any more nicotine. 233 00:10:23,531 --> 00:10:25,864 But the cravings still persisted. 234 00:10:27,030 --> 00:10:29,764 And you begin to regret quitting at a time like this 235 00:10:29,831 --> 00:10:33,564 because your nicotine withdrawal is clearly turning your cooking 236 00:10:33,631 --> 00:10:35,130 into dog shit. 237 00:10:36,397 --> 00:10:40,564 And maybe before you can perfect the art of risotto, 238 00:10:40,631 --> 00:10:43,197 you're gonna need to perfect the art of quitting first. 239 00:10:44,431 --> 00:10:46,130 ♪ (ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 240 00:10:46,197 --> 00:10:49,264 They say that the first couple of weeks are the hardest, 241 00:10:49,331 --> 00:10:52,197 and it's a good idea to remove any former triggers 242 00:10:52,264 --> 00:10:53,664 to break the cycle. 243 00:10:54,664 --> 00:10:56,497 But everywhere you look in New York, 244 00:10:56,564 --> 00:10:59,531 there seems to be reminders of your addiction. 245 00:10:59,597 --> 00:11:03,264 And even the dry ice you use to break up your stool, 246 00:11:03,331 --> 00:11:06,030 uh, reminds you of vaping. 247 00:11:06,097 --> 00:11:07,997 So if you want to master quitting, 248 00:11:08,064 --> 00:11:09,664 put yourself in a new environment 249 00:11:09,731 --> 00:11:11,864 that doesn't remind you of vaping at all. 250 00:11:12,431 --> 00:11:14,297 (SNOW SQUEAKING) 251 00:11:17,097 --> 00:11:20,197 You may not have been skiing since you were a little kid, 252 00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:23,564 so you rent some gear and hit the bunny slope 253 00:11:23,631 --> 00:11:25,431 to try to ski down safely. 254 00:11:26,764 --> 00:11:29,497 You remember being okay at it when you were a kid, 255 00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:32,297 but it turns out to be a lot more frustrating, 256 00:11:32,364 --> 00:11:36,764 uh, as an adult, and it's not actually that relaxing. 257 00:11:41,030 --> 00:11:42,664 ♪ (RELAXING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 258 00:11:42,731 --> 00:11:45,831 So you take a nice scenic drive to clear your head. 259 00:11:48,564 --> 00:11:49,731 But after a while, 260 00:11:49,798 --> 00:11:51,597 you might get stuck behind someone 261 00:11:51,664 --> 00:11:55,230 who seems to have a problem with their exhaust pipe. 262 00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:58,798 And it kind of feels like they know you're trying to quit. 263 00:12:00,264 --> 00:12:02,197 ♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪ 264 00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:04,597 So you get out to tell him about his problem 265 00:12:04,664 --> 00:12:06,030 at the gas station. 266 00:12:06,097 --> 00:12:10,531 Uh, that's just a by-product of a lot of fuel and air. 267 00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:12,364 -JOHN: Yeah? -Yep. 268 00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:14,431 JOHN: But after talking to him a little more, 269 00:12:14,497 --> 00:12:15,964 you're surprised to learn that 270 00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:17,898 he was actually doing it on purpose. 271 00:12:18,698 --> 00:12:21,097 COAL ROLLER: 272 00:12:24,064 --> 00:12:25,631 JOHN: Do you like diesel at all? 273 00:12:25,698 --> 00:12:27,264 -Huh? -JOHN: Do you like diesel? 274 00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:28,564 -No. (CHUCKLES) -JOHN: No. 275 00:12:29,364 --> 00:12:30,698 He still kept spewing 276 00:12:30,764 --> 00:12:34,297 a lot of the black, uh, smoke in your face 277 00:12:34,364 --> 00:12:36,731 and when you think about how inconsiderate, uh, you felt 278 00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,464 from blowing just a little vape smoke, 279 00:12:39,531 --> 00:12:41,698 you wonder how anyone could justify 280 00:12:41,764 --> 00:12:44,331 -such a toxic hobby. -(ENGINE RUMBLING) 281 00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:46,764 JOHN: Um, what would you say to someone that... 282 00:12:46,831 --> 00:12:49,698 would like to see this practice kind of banned? 283 00:12:50,331 --> 00:12:51,364 Um... 284 00:12:53,997 --> 00:12:56,564 I think the only reason they'd want it to be banned 285 00:12:56,631 --> 00:12:59,364 would be pollution, which... 286 00:13:00,531 --> 00:13:02,864 I guess, if you're all about pollution... 287 00:13:04,197 --> 00:13:08,264 Uh, but the thing is, everything makes pollution. 288 00:13:08,331 --> 00:13:11,397 Like, anything that you-- If you go to Walmart 289 00:13:11,464 --> 00:13:14,564 and buy a bag of chips, that's plastic, that's made, 290 00:13:14,631 --> 00:13:16,597 that's pollution. Uh-- 291 00:13:16,664 --> 00:13:19,264 It's been made from something. 292 00:13:20,497 --> 00:13:21,564 Uh, there's... 293 00:13:22,764 --> 00:13:25,230 been pollution made to make that bag of chips 294 00:13:25,297 --> 00:13:26,731 or whatever you're buying. 295 00:13:26,798 --> 00:13:30,197 So is that person gonna give up 296 00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:33,064 everything that they do in their normal life? 297 00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:34,798 Are they gonna not get in a car? 298 00:13:34,864 --> 00:13:36,864 Are they not gonna go to Walmart and buy whatever? 299 00:13:37,431 --> 00:13:38,464 Uh... 300 00:13:39,898 --> 00:13:41,164 whenever I can... 301 00:13:42,297 --> 00:13:43,764 I don't know, that... 302 00:13:44,531 --> 00:13:46,331 It's hard to say. Uh... 303 00:13:52,397 --> 00:13:54,597 It-- I don't know. I don't-- It's... 304 00:13:58,531 --> 00:14:00,297 I'm trying to think of a good response. 305 00:14:06,364 --> 00:14:09,764 (ENGINE REVVING) 306 00:14:10,798 --> 00:14:13,464 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 307 00:14:13,531 --> 00:14:15,931 JOHN: Maybe some people are just more comfortable 308 00:14:15,997 --> 00:14:18,364 doing whatever they want without any concern 309 00:14:18,431 --> 00:14:20,164 for the effect it has on others. 310 00:14:21,264 --> 00:14:22,731 But it does get you thinking about 311 00:14:22,798 --> 00:14:25,564 everything that goes into a bag of chips. 312 00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:27,030 And then, when you're at the store, 313 00:14:27,097 --> 00:14:29,764 you notice that the chip bags are all about to burst, 314 00:14:30,497 --> 00:14:32,564 and you don't know why. 315 00:14:32,631 --> 00:14:35,230 You know-- you know why these are so blown up? 316 00:14:35,297 --> 00:14:38,230 -SHOPPER: The altitude. -JOHN: Oh, the altitude! 317 00:14:38,297 --> 00:14:40,997 -Anything you find at-- Yeah! -JOHN: Oh, okay! 318 00:14:41,064 --> 00:14:42,931 If that's the case, it seems like the bag 319 00:14:42,997 --> 00:14:45,664 is only a couple of hundred feet away from popping, 320 00:14:45,731 --> 00:14:47,831 so you bring it up with you on the ski lift 321 00:14:47,898 --> 00:14:49,597 to see if it would burst. 322 00:14:50,864 --> 00:14:52,497 It's a little tighter at the top, 323 00:14:52,564 --> 00:14:55,097 uh, but it still doesn't pop. 324 00:14:55,164 --> 00:14:57,130 And even when you take it up in a helicopter, 325 00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,164 you still can't seem to get it high enough. 326 00:14:59,564 --> 00:15:01,898 PILOT: 327 00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,130 JOHN: 328 00:15:10,464 --> 00:15:12,597 But the guy won't, uh, go up high enough 329 00:15:12,664 --> 00:15:14,664 because he says it was too dangerous. 330 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,731 So you take the bag of chips 331 00:15:16,798 --> 00:15:19,297 and drive it up the rest of the way yourself. 332 00:15:21,831 --> 00:15:23,798 And as you're hiking your way towards the summit, 333 00:15:23,864 --> 00:15:27,431 you notice a house that was hit by an avalanche. 334 00:15:29,064 --> 00:15:32,698 The mattress looks intact, but there are no bedsheets, 335 00:15:32,764 --> 00:15:34,030 uh, which means that... 336 00:15:34,631 --> 00:15:35,631 um... 337 00:15:36,431 --> 00:15:37,798 you don't know what that means. 338 00:15:38,664 --> 00:15:39,997 At that point, you'll realize 339 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:43,997 that nicotine has been so far from your thoughts for so long. 340 00:15:44,064 --> 00:15:46,397 This was the first time you'd been able to ignore it 341 00:15:46,464 --> 00:15:48,597 completely in over a decade. 342 00:15:48,664 --> 00:15:52,464 And it didn't really matter if you got to see the bag pop. 343 00:15:52,531 --> 00:15:54,831 You'll feel like a new man, with a new brain. 344 00:15:54,898 --> 00:15:57,731 And now, you can finally slam dunk that risotto. 345 00:15:57,798 --> 00:15:59,030 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 346 00:15:59,097 --> 00:16:00,631 So when you get home to New York, 347 00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:03,364 make sure to reset your oven clock, uh, first 348 00:16:03,431 --> 00:16:07,097 because daylight savings just happened on your way back. 349 00:16:08,130 --> 00:16:09,731 Now that you have a clear head, 350 00:16:09,798 --> 00:16:11,597 you notice that your risotto problems 351 00:16:11,664 --> 00:16:13,597 may have started with your cookware, 352 00:16:13,664 --> 00:16:15,631 uh, which is in pitiful shape, 353 00:16:15,698 --> 00:16:18,497 and it's probably time to buy a new pot. 354 00:16:18,564 --> 00:16:20,597 So you're gonna head out to the store. 355 00:16:20,664 --> 00:16:23,798 And you're not even fazed when you pass a smoker, 356 00:16:23,864 --> 00:16:26,631 because you're proudly nicotine-free. 357 00:16:26,698 --> 00:16:29,798 And now you have a healthier way to deal with your oral fixation 358 00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,898 that, uh, won't bother anyone else. 359 00:16:31,964 --> 00:16:36,898 (BLOWING SLIDE WHISTLE) 360 00:16:36,964 --> 00:16:39,331 And when you hop on the bus, you'll be surprised 361 00:16:39,397 --> 00:16:41,230 that you're the only passenger. 362 00:16:41,297 --> 00:16:42,397 Uh, which is great, 363 00:16:42,464 --> 00:16:44,497 because you can sit anywhere you like. 364 00:16:45,531 --> 00:16:47,364 And you may notice that some of the Ubers 365 00:16:47,431 --> 00:16:50,698 have started taping tissue boxes to the outside of their car, 366 00:16:50,764 --> 00:16:53,030 and you're not sure why. 367 00:16:53,097 --> 00:16:56,631 But it looks like everyone is trying to get a piece. 368 00:16:56,698 --> 00:16:58,397 And you also start to notice 369 00:16:58,464 --> 00:17:01,097 that all the TVs are playing the same thing. 370 00:17:01,164 --> 00:17:02,531 ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪ 371 00:17:04,531 --> 00:17:06,964 -♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC RESUMES) ♪ -When you get to the store, uh, 372 00:17:07,030 --> 00:17:10,997 they seem to be running, uh, a little short on cookware. 373 00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:14,264 Luckily, you pass by a yard sale on the way home. 374 00:17:14,331 --> 00:17:18,764 The one pan they have looks like risotto-grade material. 375 00:17:18,831 --> 00:17:21,464 But before you buy it, he might try to upsell you 376 00:17:21,531 --> 00:17:23,030 on some other stuff. 377 00:17:23,097 --> 00:17:25,397 -Oh, that's Kevin Smith. -BUSHWICK TWIN: There you go. 378 00:17:25,464 --> 00:17:27,197 JOHN: Oh, wow. 379 00:17:27,264 --> 00:17:28,464 This is handmade. 380 00:17:28,531 --> 00:17:29,731 JOHN: Oh, is that JFK? 381 00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:32,297 BUSHWICK TWIN: Yeah, this goes for 2,500. 382 00:17:32,364 --> 00:17:34,664 JOHN: Are you guys worried about this virus? 383 00:17:35,297 --> 00:17:37,431 I think it's more like... 384 00:17:38,997 --> 00:17:40,497 it's more like a flu. 385 00:17:40,564 --> 00:17:41,597 Take care of yourself. 386 00:17:41,664 --> 00:17:43,764 Just wash your hands and stay away from crowds, 387 00:17:43,831 --> 00:17:45,964 and it's gonna be okay. It's gonna-- It's gonna pass. 388 00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:47,664 JOHN: All right, that makes me feel better. 389 00:17:47,731 --> 00:17:49,030 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 390 00:17:49,097 --> 00:17:50,864 JOHN: So after you get your new pan, 391 00:17:50,931 --> 00:17:52,964 go ahead and get the groceries you need. 392 00:17:54,097 --> 00:17:56,631 Back at your supermarket, you finally find 393 00:17:56,698 --> 00:17:59,698 a few of your basic risotto ingredients. 394 00:17:59,764 --> 00:18:01,664 And in order to buy them, 395 00:18:01,731 --> 00:18:04,964 all you have to do is find the end of the line. 396 00:18:05,030 --> 00:18:07,264 ♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 397 00:19:06,798 --> 00:19:08,864 JOHN: So if you can't find the end of the line, 398 00:19:08,931 --> 00:19:11,264 uh, go next door to the Dollar General 399 00:19:11,331 --> 00:19:13,264 for ingredients. 400 00:19:13,331 --> 00:19:16,030 But unfortunately, the only food they have left 401 00:19:16,097 --> 00:19:18,698 is something called Beanee Weenee. 402 00:19:19,931 --> 00:19:21,564 So buy a couple of jars, 403 00:19:21,631 --> 00:19:24,864 and hopefully you can incorporate it somehow. 404 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,698 To get your fresh tomatoes, 405 00:19:27,764 --> 00:19:29,497 uh, you can always go to a Burger King 406 00:19:29,564 --> 00:19:31,964 to see if they'll sell them to you à la carte. 407 00:19:32,597 --> 00:19:33,898 But when you get there, 408 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,431 you find that they're in the process of 409 00:19:35,497 --> 00:19:37,764 covering the dining room in caution tape. 410 00:19:37,831 --> 00:19:39,197 JOHN: 411 00:19:41,898 --> 00:19:43,130 JOHN: Yeah? 412 00:19:48,631 --> 00:19:49,864 JOHN: Okay. 413 00:19:49,931 --> 00:19:52,264 And to make chicken broth, now you're gonna have to go 414 00:19:52,331 --> 00:19:54,597 to a live, uh, poultry vendor. 415 00:19:54,664 --> 00:19:55,864 JOHN: 416 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,497 VENDOR: 417 00:20:00,831 --> 00:20:04,064 JOHN: But you can't bring yourself to do it. 418 00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:06,964 So you try making the risotto with the Beanee Weenee 419 00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:09,664 and some leftover take-out rice, 420 00:20:09,731 --> 00:20:11,898 but it doesn't taste like anything 421 00:20:11,964 --> 00:20:14,664 you'd ever want to serve to someone. 422 00:20:14,731 --> 00:20:17,497 And the new pan you bought, uh, is-- is on fire. 423 00:20:18,397 --> 00:20:19,798 (BLOWING) 424 00:20:21,464 --> 00:20:23,064 And when you go to give your dirty laundry 425 00:20:23,130 --> 00:20:24,631 to your landlord, 426 00:20:24,698 --> 00:20:29,130 for the first time, you feel like a complete failure. 427 00:20:29,197 --> 00:20:31,164 -You doing okay? -LANDLORD: Yeah. 428 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,364 JOHN: You hear about the-- the-- the virus? 429 00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:35,898 LANDLORD: 430 00:20:39,097 --> 00:20:41,230 JOHN: Yeah, it seems like everybody's off work. 431 00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:43,197 I don't know. 432 00:20:44,197 --> 00:20:45,197 JOHN: I think, uh-- 433 00:20:45,264 --> 00:20:46,364 LANDLORD: 434 00:20:46,431 --> 00:20:47,431 JOHN: Yeah. 435 00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:49,497 LANDLORD: 436 00:20:49,564 --> 00:20:51,631 JOHN: Yeah, I hope so. 437 00:20:51,698 --> 00:20:54,397 And you might start to read a lot about how elderly people 438 00:20:54,464 --> 00:20:58,230 were at the greatest risk of getting sick. 439 00:20:58,297 --> 00:21:00,864 And you might get scared about passing anything between you. 440 00:21:01,731 --> 00:21:03,698 So, for the first time in years, 441 00:21:03,764 --> 00:21:04,997 you do your own laundry 442 00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:08,264 at the laundromat down the street. 443 00:21:08,331 --> 00:21:11,230 But while you're there, you might find out that 444 00:21:11,297 --> 00:21:14,531 everyone is gonna have to stay home for a while. 445 00:21:15,898 --> 00:21:18,798 So you move your entire office back to your apartment, 446 00:21:18,864 --> 00:21:21,997 and set yourself up to work from home 447 00:21:22,064 --> 00:21:23,664 until this is all over. 448 00:21:24,431 --> 00:21:25,764 Uh, hopefully very soon. 449 00:21:26,798 --> 00:21:27,864 ♪ (QUIET MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 450 00:21:27,931 --> 00:21:30,097 At least you have a lot of time to think now. 451 00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:33,597 And to do things you've been meaning to do for a long time. 452 00:21:33,664 --> 00:21:35,431 Like finishing that jigsaw puzzle, 453 00:21:36,831 --> 00:21:40,664 killing all the cucarachas in your apartment. 454 00:21:40,731 --> 00:21:44,164 And you can finally keep a close eye on the stock market 455 00:21:44,230 --> 00:21:46,130 because your one share of Domino's Pizza, 456 00:21:46,197 --> 00:21:49,164 uh, seems to be doing really well right now. 457 00:21:49,230 --> 00:21:52,130 But watching new episodes of Jeopardy! by yourself 458 00:21:52,197 --> 00:21:53,898 is a lot less fun, 459 00:21:53,964 --> 00:21:56,564 and you really miss spending time with your landlord. 460 00:21:56,631 --> 00:21:58,297 What is a pandemic? 461 00:21:58,364 --> 00:21:59,664 ALEX TREBEK: We'll accept that. 462 00:21:59,731 --> 00:22:01,264 Health and Medicine, 1200. 463 00:22:02,431 --> 00:22:04,064 JOHN: When you look in the backyard, 464 00:22:04,130 --> 00:22:06,431 you see that she's started to cover her mouth 465 00:22:06,497 --> 00:22:08,431 in the garden. 466 00:22:08,497 --> 00:22:11,264 And when the special rice that you ordered 467 00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:12,831 finally arrives, 468 00:22:12,898 --> 00:22:14,997 you're not sure what to do with it. 469 00:22:16,564 --> 00:22:17,831 But then you notice that 470 00:22:17,898 --> 00:22:20,597 your landlord has started to secretly walk up the stairs 471 00:22:20,664 --> 00:22:23,197 and put food there for you to eat later. 472 00:22:24,064 --> 00:22:25,731 This seems like a great workaround 473 00:22:25,798 --> 00:22:27,230 that you didn't think of before, 474 00:22:27,297 --> 00:22:28,964 and you figure you could probably 475 00:22:29,030 --> 00:22:31,297 do the same safely with her. 476 00:22:31,364 --> 00:22:32,864 But you want to be absolutely sure 477 00:22:32,931 --> 00:22:34,531 that there's no way that this plan 478 00:22:34,597 --> 00:22:36,364 could give her the virus. 479 00:22:36,431 --> 00:22:38,497 So you call your good friend, uh, who's a nurse, 480 00:22:38,564 --> 00:22:41,731 to see what she thinks about giving your landlord food. 481 00:22:41,798 --> 00:22:44,764 Like, for me, I wouldn't give food to anybody from me 482 00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:49,431 because I probably have had or have coronavirus. 483 00:22:49,497 --> 00:22:53,397 I don't-- It's-- It seems unlikely that I-- Yeah. 484 00:22:53,464 --> 00:22:55,864 I think it's unlikely that-- 485 00:22:55,931 --> 00:22:57,497 I've heard-- I mean, I don't know. 486 00:22:57,564 --> 00:22:59,898 I think that it's unlikely that it transfers 487 00:22:59,964 --> 00:23:01,898 -through cooked food. -Nobody knows. 488 00:23:04,197 --> 00:23:05,397 The food is cooked. 489 00:23:05,464 --> 00:23:07,130 JOHN: Yeah, the food is cooked, right? 490 00:23:07,964 --> 00:23:09,764 I don't-- Nobody knows! 491 00:23:10,431 --> 00:23:11,798 JOHN: And at this point, 492 00:23:11,864 --> 00:23:13,698 you may not really know what to do. 493 00:23:14,864 --> 00:23:17,264 It might be too dangerous, 494 00:23:17,331 --> 00:23:20,230 but if you don't give her risotto, 495 00:23:20,297 --> 00:23:24,264 then she might go out looking for it herself 496 00:23:24,331 --> 00:23:27,531 and get it from some other boy. 497 00:23:29,664 --> 00:23:31,997 Food can't come out of nowhere. 498 00:23:32,064 --> 00:23:34,264 It's-- it's got to come from somebody. 499 00:23:35,064 --> 00:23:36,964 And it looks like other people 500 00:23:37,030 --> 00:23:39,731 are taking care of their landlords, no problem. 501 00:23:42,731 --> 00:23:46,731 Maybe you can still get close without causing any harm. 502 00:23:46,798 --> 00:23:50,964 But it's hard to know how close you can get, 503 00:23:51,030 --> 00:23:52,731 um, before you-- 504 00:23:52,798 --> 00:23:55,030 uh, before you hurt it-- her. 505 00:23:56,531 --> 00:23:59,597 But as you continue to debate this with yourself, 506 00:23:59,664 --> 00:24:02,164 you hear-- you hear an ambulance outside. 507 00:24:02,230 --> 00:24:03,931 ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪ 508 00:24:03,997 --> 00:24:07,831 You see that your landlord is getting into it. 509 00:24:10,230 --> 00:24:13,531 So you text your landlord's daughter to see what's wrong, 510 00:24:13,597 --> 00:24:16,397 and it turns out that she had a stroke. 511 00:24:17,531 --> 00:24:19,464 It's not the first one she's had, 512 00:24:19,531 --> 00:24:22,497 and they needed to get her checked out. 513 00:24:24,731 --> 00:24:27,997 You begin to curse yourself for waiting so long 514 00:24:28,064 --> 00:24:30,030 to surprise her. 515 00:24:30,097 --> 00:24:33,364 Maybe instead of trying to perfect your risotto, 516 00:24:33,431 --> 00:24:37,531 you should have just given it to her the first time you made it. 517 00:24:37,597 --> 00:24:42,164 And maybe now you'll never be able to give it to her. 518 00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:46,030 -♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(BLOWING SLIDE WHISTLE) 519 00:24:49,464 --> 00:24:51,030 It seemed like there was no right way 520 00:24:51,097 --> 00:24:53,130 to do anything anymore, 521 00:24:53,197 --> 00:24:55,064 and every decision you made to survive 522 00:24:55,130 --> 00:24:57,097 was a calculated risk. 523 00:24:58,531 --> 00:25:02,097 And the world has no place for a purist right now. 524 00:25:05,764 --> 00:25:08,064 ♪ (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 525 00:25:08,130 --> 00:25:10,997 When your world gets turned upside down, 526 00:25:11,064 --> 00:25:13,230 it can be hard to figure out the new rules 527 00:25:13,297 --> 00:25:14,898 and how to follow them. 528 00:25:20,130 --> 00:25:24,197 ♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ 529 00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:33,931 You start to notice everything that changed 530 00:25:33,997 --> 00:25:36,097 since you first started filming the show. 531 00:25:38,297 --> 00:25:40,531 People used to have to know how to split the check 532 00:25:40,597 --> 00:25:41,831 at a restaurant. 533 00:25:42,931 --> 00:25:44,197 But not anymore. 534 00:25:47,130 --> 00:25:50,564 And just when you were ready to take your covers off, 535 00:25:51,297 --> 00:25:53,097 you had to put them all back on. 536 00:25:55,064 --> 00:25:58,197 And no amount of scaffolding can protect you now. 537 00:26:01,164 --> 00:26:04,230 We used to try to keep animals from invading our spaces... 538 00:26:05,864 --> 00:26:08,431 but it seems like nature is beginning to 539 00:26:08,497 --> 00:26:10,331 reclaim its environment. 540 00:26:12,597 --> 00:26:15,431 And even the refs don't know what the rules are anymore. 541 00:26:17,164 --> 00:26:21,097 And it's getting harder and harder to make small talk. 542 00:26:24,597 --> 00:26:26,997 Your memory of the way things used to be 543 00:26:27,064 --> 00:26:28,964 slowly begins to fade. 544 00:26:29,997 --> 00:26:31,497 And you look for any sign at all 545 00:26:31,564 --> 00:26:33,997 that things are returning to normal. 546 00:26:34,798 --> 00:26:37,331 ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 547 00:26:37,397 --> 00:26:39,864 But the next morning, when you're cooking breakfast, 548 00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:42,997 you see that your landlord is back and in good health. 549 00:26:44,997 --> 00:26:46,130 Hey, Mama! 550 00:26:48,097 --> 00:26:50,531 ♪ (QUIET MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 551 00:26:51,264 --> 00:26:52,931 JOHN: How you doing? 552 00:26:52,997 --> 00:26:54,698 You really want to catch up, 553 00:26:54,764 --> 00:26:58,731 but you figure it's best to keep your distance for now. 554 00:27:02,297 --> 00:27:05,898 When everything you know has to be thrown out completely, 555 00:27:05,964 --> 00:27:09,497 your idea of perfection should probably be thrown out too. 556 00:27:10,664 --> 00:27:13,297 And you just have to do whatever feels right. 557 00:27:15,130 --> 00:27:18,431 I guess it's just best for me to stay in here for now, 558 00:27:18,497 --> 00:27:20,997 where I can dream of the day when we can finally 559 00:27:21,064 --> 00:27:23,097 eat together again. 560 00:27:23,164 --> 00:27:26,764 Because by the time I'm allowed to leave this apartment, 561 00:27:26,831 --> 00:27:28,531 there's gonna be a whole new set of rules 562 00:27:28,597 --> 00:27:31,297 that didn't exist before, 563 00:27:31,364 --> 00:27:35,030 and I may just have to relearn everything I thought I knew. 564 00:27:36,664 --> 00:27:38,197 But that's okay, 565 00:27:38,264 --> 00:27:41,164 because we're all gonna have to figure it out together. 566 00:27:42,197 --> 00:27:44,464 And right now, we got nothing but time. 567 00:27:48,431 --> 00:27:49,831 This is John Wilson. 568 00:27:49,898 --> 00:27:51,197 Thanks for watching. 569 00:27:53,798 --> 00:27:57,997 ♪ ("ORCHIDS AND ROSES" BY SYMPHONIA ORCHESTRA PLAYING) ♪ 570 00:28:29,964 --> 00:28:31,698 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪