♪ ♪
John Wilson: Hey, New York.
NYC has one of the best public transportation systems
in the whole world,
and you learn something new every single time you ride.
But when you live in the city long enough,
you can start to feel trapped within the MTA's jurisdiction.
Sometimes, you just wanna go somewhere that
no train has ever thought to go before.
This is why some people eventually break down
and buy an automobile.
When you have a car, a whole world of possibility opens up.
You can finally go to a water park,
a, a drive-in movie,
or a farm.
Having a car can feel like
you have a cheat code to the whole city,
and exciting new areas of the map
are unlocked every single day.
Worker (on PA): Will you be using your mobile app today?
Wilson: What's that?
But, whenever you finally get home
and try to park in your neighborhood,
the fun usually comes to a screeching halt.
♪ ♪
You like to start optimistically,
checking to see if there are any spots
directly in front of your apartment.
There usually never is one,
so you drive in tight circles for a while, uh,
hoping to park within a block of your front door.
But every time you think your search is over,
there's always just a fire hydrant
or a driveway.
Or some other kind of optical illusion.
And as you continue to lurk,
the more every other car starts to feel like competition.
And after 90 minutes of hopeless searching,
you even begin to envy the dead.
So, when you just can't take it anymore,
you just leave it in the parking lot
of a Boston Market, uh,
where it'll probably be fine
until the breakfast shift begins.
You never thought it would be this hard,
but maybe you're thinking about it the wrong way.
♪ ♪
When you look for a spot in an obvious place,
you just end up competing with everyone else.
But if you're brave enough to stand out from the crowd
and try something risky,
you might have the confidence to park in places
you would've never dreamed of parking before.
So, instead of driving yourself up the wall,
hit the brakes,
put the top down, and get ready
to enter a parallel universe
as you figure out if you have what it really takes
to find that perfect spot.
(beeping, metal crunching)
(engine revving)
Now, before you master the art of parking,
you're gonna first need to understand
why it's so hard to begin with.
Back before 1950,
it was actually illegal to keep your car
on city streets overnight.
And there was a lot more room
for pedestrian activity in the streets.
But after the city changed that law,
the curbs quickly filled up
with vehicles from all over the world.
And they built a massive network of expressways
to incentivize automobile travel.
But by the 1960s,
there were so many cars in New York that
they had to pass another law
that forced architects to incorporate garages
into the designs of all the new buildings,
which even the developers
began to openly resent. (clears throat)
This was supposed to make street parking
less competitive.
But, in reality, all it did
was just attract more cars.
Which, inevitably, spilled out onto the streets.
And as a result, New York City became
one of the largest outdoor storage facilities
for automobiles in the entire world.
Supposedly, 40% of the cars
you see on the street are actually looking for a spot.
♪ ♪
And this is usually because they're looking for a place
that they don't have to pay for.
The most coveted spots are on residential streets
where there aren't any meters
and you can stay as long as you want.
The great thing about free parking is that
it doesn't discriminate,
and it's first come, first serve.
You can park in the same spot
as the President of the United States,
and the quality of your experience would be identical.
Hunting for one of these spots is a game of pure chance,
where it feels like the odds are always stacked against you.
And even if you're the luckiest person in the world,
you still might have a hard time finding one.
I've been struck by lightning twice. The first time,
I was declared clinically dead for 28 minutes,
completely paralyzed for six days,
partially paralyzed for seven months.
Two years to learn to walk and feed myself.
Three years later, I was struck by lightning again.
I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, holding a land-line phone.
The lightning comes down the phone line.
It hits the phone, goes in my head,
goes down my spine, welds the nails
of the heels of my shoes to the floor,
or I would've exploded,
threw me in the air,
slammed me back down on the bed.
Paralyzed, burning on fire, and blinded.
Wilson: Um...
Do you ever have a hard time finding a parking spot?
Yes.
♪ ♪
Wilson: If you are lucky enough to find one of these spots,
the hardest part is actually keeping it.
Because New York City is obsessed with cleanliness,
once or twice a week, they send professionals
to wipe down the streets
with big, scary machines
that need access to the curb.
This is why we have something called
"alternate side of the street parking," which says that
cars need to vacate their spot for 90 minutes
on specified days. But instead of moving,
most New Yorkers just sit in their car
for the full hour and a half
and wait until the sweeper comes.
This is an opportunity for people
to take care of stuff they've been meaning to do for, for a while.
Everything is usually very calm during this period,
and neighbors can even get to know one another.
Yeah, I took Italian for a few years in high school,
but I don't really remember anything.
(speaking English)
Wilson: What's that?
Wilson: Oh, he's coming, really?
-(starts engine) -Wilson: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
(honking)
♪ ♪
But once the sweeper arrives,
it's a chaotic frenzy where the entire neighborhood
has to work in unison in order to make space
and return to their old spots.
(indistinct arguing)
It's a rare ballet that the city has to perform
at least once a week.
And even if one car is out of step,
it can easily disrupt the entire performance.
(honking)
(indistinct directing)
Come, come, come, come, come...
Cut the wheel the other way!
(indistinct)
♪ ♪
(honk)
Once the sweeper has done its job,
you'll finally be able to return to your old spot
and everything will be at peace again.
(frantic music playing)
Now, because people work so hard to keep their free spots,
they feel the need to preserve them when they have to leave.
They usually try to put common objects in the street
that look like they're there for some legitimate purpose
because saving a spot is actually illegal.
But, no matter how clever you think you're being,
your neighbors will eventually catch on
and begin to secretly resent you
for your selfish behavior.
So, to avoid the hassle of having to do all this,
some New Yorkers just pay for a monthly spot
in a private garage.
How much does a parking spot cost for a month?
At this location, uh, with tax,
for a car, we charge 790.
-Wilson: For a month here? -Yes.
Wilson: There's even the lucky few that have private driveways
and can leave whenever they want,
even though it disables a parking spot
on the street for everyone else.
But even if you have a spot like this,
your problems still might not be over.
My spot in Brooklyn had a free parking spot,
so I kept my car there,
and because of that, I didn't actually have to,
uh, I didn't have to move my car twice a week
like most New Yorkers, which was great.
It was an awesome-- It was a luxury.
There was this one time I had to drive
just for work for the first time in probably about four weeks.
And when I was pulling out of my driveway,
I smelled burnt plastic and roadkill.
I kept driving, and
seemed totally normal for about like half a mile.
And then, by the time I actually got to Manhattan,
my car just like started smoking.
Like, actually seemed like it was catching on fire.
So, I pulled off to the side, yeah, like right here,
and probably within like two or three minutes,
the car just was totally engulfed.
(fire truck rumbling)
So, I started filming it.
I filmed like the fire department just like break open my car windows,
-start hosing down the engine. -(smash)
And as I'm filming my car on fire,
I see Tony Hawk,
the skateboarder, across the street. He's filming
my car catch on fire.
And I'm like, this is just
the most bizarre New York thing I've ever seen.
So, I got a selfie with him.
He's very nice in person.
And we found
this older rat in the wheel,
and that's when we figured out that
rats had nested in the engine
and had probably chewed through the wiring and blew up the car.
So, I recommend if you leave your car
in one place for a long time,
check the hood because there could be
a family of rodents there.
Wilson: But then you would've never met Tony Hawk if this didn't happen.
(laughs) That's a good point.
Wilson: So, if you decide that a private spot isn't for you,
then the only option is to
learn how to park on the street like everyone else.
If a space opens up within eyesight of your apartment,
take a page out of the neighborhood playbook
and, and try to put a chair in it.
♪ ♪
Just, just make it a little bigger,
so it's more intimidating.
Then you can run to get your car, which is,
which is currently parked really far away.
But by the time you get back,
someone has pushed it, pushed it over
and taken it, uh, taken the spot anyway.
So, uh, the next thing you can try
is to get to know your neighbors.
If you know that the, the market near you
closes at 9 PM,
and one of the employees drives to work,
you can just double-park your car on Myrtle
and follow them on foot
to see where they parked.
And when they finally vacate their spot,
uh, you'll be the first one to know about it.
But as you're about to run back to your car to, to fill the space,
another automobile drives up immediately
and, and backs right in.
And at that point, uh, you realize
you may not be fast enough for this trick.
So instead, you can get experimental and, uh,
use a thermal camera to see if it can give you an edge.
This camera shows you the temperature
of everything around you.
So, if a car's engine is warm,
it can mean that it's, it's just idling,
and the person, uh,
was just running inside for a quick errand.
But, unfortunately,
your theory turns out to be,
uh, completely false.
But, you did see some other cool stuff while you were out,
uh, so it wasn't a, a complete loss.
(vocalizing)
It might begin to feel like nothing you try is gonna work.
But then one day, when you're coming home
from running some errands,
you round the corner to your street
and see that someone has their brake lights on.
♪ ♪
You slow down to see if they're leaving,
and, sure enough, they're exiting the spot,
and there's, uh, no one else around to take it.
You can't believe it.
It's the closest you've ever gotten
to having your own personal driveway.
The perfect position,
the perfect dimensions.
This spot and you were made for each other.
And you finally feel a sense of peace
for the first time in a while.
For the rest of the week, you find yourself
looking out the window all the time
to admire the quality of your impeccable spot.
You start keeping clothes in your trunk
in case you misread the temperature
when you get outside.
And even wash it with a bucket of water when it's nice out.
It feels like you have a little guest house
right outside your apartment
that you can customize however you want to.
♪ ♪
And you can finally listen to the music you like
without risking any judgment from your partner.
It's a little slice of heaven,
but unfortunately, this feeling doesn't last very long
because now that you finally have what you've always wanted,
all you can think about is losing it.
You stay home on the weekend,
even though you wanted to get out of town.
You use a handcart
to bring back heavy stuff from the supermarket
instead of putting it in your, in your trunk.
And when someone invites you to a party in an inconvenient place,
you say that you can't go because,
uh, you're in the middle of something else important.
(creaks)
And everywhere you walk now,
it's like you're still watching the world
through your windshield.
There's a spot.
That's a nice one.
Oh wow. That's a beauty.
And you begin looking forward to holidays that
you have absolutely no right to celebrate.
Even when you watch a movie,
your eye inevitably drifts towards the curb
to see if there are any open spots there.
And you start to miss major plot points
because all you can focus on are the street signs
to see how much time the protagonists have
until they get a ticket.
And while you wait in your car for the sweeper to come,
you end up just thinking about other spots to save
instead of enjoying the one that you have.
Maybe finding a spot doesn't
get rid of that initial anxiety,
but actually just creates a greater desire
for more territory.
Wait, so you put them there
so that the bicyclists don't hit you?
For security! They're not--
The bikes are not allowed to come here.
-Wilson: Oh. -The bike are not allowed. These are the grid lines,
you understand? He came here.
-Wilson: Yeah, yeah, yeah. -And I'm coming to the door, look.
I'm opening the door-- Look!
He cross from the green, he came here, knocked me down.
Look, look! Here's another one.
-Wilson: Oh, here he goes. -Look, look, look at this guy!
Can't be here, only here! Schmuck.
You see what he did?
If I didn't put this, he'll knock me down again.
Hey, in Israel, we learn how to function.
♪ ♪
Wilson: Early in the morning in Prospect Park,
people take caution tape and wrap it around the trees
to make sure that no one else takes the space
they're planning to use later.
People intentionally put trash on subway seats,
so that no one is tempted to sit next to them.
I even went on a date with someone once
who told me that she printed out a fake out-of-order sign
to tape on the door of the restroom
two floors beneath her office.
That way, it stayed empty,
and she had it to herself whenever she wanted.
Even though the rest of the time, it was completely
unusable to everyone else on that floor.
And if that's what it takes to keep your spot,
then you might just not be cut out for it.
Maybe people in New York are so anxious about space
because the supply gets smaller every day.
But when the virus appeared, we were finally able
to reclaim parking spaces
and turn them into whatever we wanted.
And people finally started to enjoy themselves
in, in public again.
♪ ♪
These people may not realize it,
but they're eating in one of the most coveted pieces
of real estate in the whole city.
Maybe it's selfish to expect your own spot in a city
that needs it so desperately.
And maybe if there were fewer cars in New York,
people wouldn't be so territorial here.
You went to the bookstore to see if you could find
any compelling literature on the subject.
And you actually found a whole magazine
that was dedicated to parking.
You start flipping through it, and you realize
parking to be at the root
of some of the world's biggest problems.
You also see that they were hosting an event,
and it was actually happening pretty soon.
It turned out to be the magazine's
25th anniversary party.
Everyone was encouraged to indulge
as much as they wanted.
And some of the biggest names in parking were there.
He's huge in parking.
-Wilson: Oh yeah? -Hi.
Wilson: But when you went down
to look at the vendors,
nobody seemed to be talking about
reducing cars in cities.
Instead, it seemed like they just wanted
to maximize revenue
and fill up as much vacant space
with automobiles as they could.
In the old days, you may just get that spot
used one time, but now,
you can direct people where those spots are available,
and let them park there. And you can get somebody
to pay for the same real estate three or four times a day,
as opposed to paying for it once or twice.
Larry Cohen: I wrote a book based on my 40 years
in senior parking management.
Unfortunately, I've had the experience
at working at...
major university hospitals,
and also at my municipality,
that folks have jumped and committed suicide
from the parking garages. And I've experienced it
more times than I would like to admit.
Uh, so, the book is dedicated to those who...
found that committing suicide from a parking garage
was their last resort.
♪ ♪
Wilson: Maybe you weren't gonna get
the answers you were looking for here.
All you wanted to do was
find a place where you could finally rest,
but it seemed like everyone there
was just trying to get you to move on as quickly as possible.
Maybe parking spots were only designed
to give you short-term pleasure.
And by having a car,
you're doomed to a life
of perpetual motion.
And if you really want lasting peace of mind,
you just need to look somewhere else.
My name is Viviane Koenig.
My husband and I have cemetery plots
at New Montefiore Cemetery.
Death is inevitable.
If you're prepared for certain important things,
-it eases your mind and your family's mind. -(phone ringing)
Wilson: Um, here, do you need to get that at all or...
-Oh, I'm sorry. -Wilson: Oh no, it's okay. Come in.
Kim from next door.
I-I'm busy right now.
She's busy now, Kim. Can she call you back?
Wilson: Does, does the lease on a cemetery plot ever expire?
Not when you buy it.
If you buy it,
then it doesn't expire. It's, it's yours forever.
This is where it's located.
And here's the perpetual care agreement.
Wilson: Can we go check it out?
I know it's near. It's always...
hard to find it.
Oh, I see it. I see it. Hello.
Stuart, Stuart! I see it.
This is the Koenig plot,
and this is where he and I...
will rest. Preferably in peace.
We're very satisfied with this spot
because it's near the office
and close to the, um, parking lot.
Wilson: It seems like even in death,
your proximity to a parking space is just as important.
♪ ♪
Maybe worrying about finding a spot
just never goes away.
And no matter how far into the future you prepare,
anxiety about your car will always be with you.
But then when you were looking around the cemetery office,
you saw a brochure for a company that
might be able to tackle a few of your problems all at once.
I run a company called Cruisin Caskets,
and this is what we make,
car-shaped coffins.
-Wilson: Wow. -Okay, this is just...
all interior
is just like, uh, like a regular upholstery
from a, from a casket or even
just any type of furniture from a car or anything like that.
You have these handles, that these pull out.
These are for the pallbearers, for carrying.
And then you have handles in the front...
-(click) -and handles in the back.
(click)
Yeah, I'll be buried in one of these and, uh...
-Wilson: Oh really? -Casket Maker: Yeah.
-Wilson: How do you know you're gonna fit inside of it? -Casket Maker: Uh...
(birds chirping)
-(creaking) -Oh.
(creaking)
Wilson: What's it like in there?
Casket Maker: Dark.
Wilson: Can you honk the horn if you're accidentally buried alive?
Casket Maker: Nah, I don't think so.
Wilson: It seemed like a nice thought
to put your mind at ease,
but unfortunately, you still have a car at home.
And you haven't stopped thinking about
how long you'll be able to keep it there.
♪ ♪
Maybe there is no solution for the living,
and up until you pass away,
you'll spend your whole life just circling the block,
waiting for your meter to expire.
You weren't really sure who would buy something like this,
but the, the maker told you about a guy
in Jersey who, who purchased one recently.
Turns out he runs a funeral home,
and he let you come check it out.
So, how much did it cost?
This one was about $6,800.
-Wilson: Wow. -But I sold my hearse, so that's why I was able
to pay for that. I look at it as a wash for me.
Because I had-- I got publicity out of the other hearse,
now I got publicity out of this.
I think it'll pay for itself, just in the long run.
Wilson: It turned out he was more than just a funeral director,
and he was actually an obsessive collector
with diverse tastes.
This is a bookshelf. I got this
at an estate sale. It's a reproduction.
-But, it's just... -Wilson: Oh, okay.
I had to have it, and this chair over here.
It's a reproduction also, but I had to have this chair.
Wilson: He also had a whole wall of photos
of him with politicians
and other notable people.
And just as he was about to wrap up the tour,
he showed you the collection he was most proud of.
♪ ♪
-Wilson: Oh... -This is my project
I started a couple, about four months ago.
These were all in my house at one time.
-Wilson: (stammering) You killed each one of these? -Director: Yes.
-Wilson: Oh my god... -(laughs)
Director: To me, it's my, my, my relaxation.
I, uh...
My business is tough. You're around people all the time.
I'll leave at 2:00, 3:00 in the afternoon,
drive up to, about an hour ride, 45-minute ride,
climb into my tree stand and sit there for an hour or two
just till it gets dark.
And it's just my way of escape, getting away from everything.
And if a deer comes, it's fine. If it doesn't, it's the idea
you're out there, just getting away from it all.
Wilson: Do you think you'll ever be fully satisfied?
Director: No. After you shoot it, you don't feel that great,
but, I mean, it's nice. It's like anything.
You got it, now what do you do, you know?
Wilson: So, it's just like once you...
It's just about having the goal, it's not about...
It's a goal and the thrill, the thrill, the thrill of the hunt.
That's what it's all about. The experience, what it's like.
Being in nature, being, seeing everything, what it's all about.
♪ ♪
Wilson: Parking some place for too long
takes away the joy of finding that perfect spot.
And maybe expecting anything
to last forever misses the whole point.
Because once you claim something,
then it takes it out of circulation for everyone else.
And the best part of living in a city
is knowing that there will always be a place
for you somewhere.
And when your time comes,
you just gotta be ready to give up your spot
for the next person who needs it.
Because even if you're not sure
it'll be there when you get back,
at the very least, you can always enjoy
the thrill of the hunt.
And instead of being upset that you lost your spot,
just be proud that you got one in the first place.
Because when you eventually have to
vacate this planet and can't park here anymore,
you can be at peace
because you know there will always be a spot
waiting for you somewhere at the big
Boston Market in the sky.
This is John Wilson. Thanks for watching.
("Hail to the Chief" playing)
♪ ♪