1 00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:09,963 So what do you think? 2 00:00:09,963 --> 00:00:11,683 Have they changed the bread here? 3 00:00:11,683 --> 00:00:13,203 No, about Ian moving in. 4 00:00:14,243 --> 00:00:15,483 Oh, it sounds great. 5 00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:18,243 Are you sure? Cos, well, it's a big step and, 6 00:00:18,243 --> 00:00:19,643 well, I don't want to seem like... 7 00:00:19,643 --> 00:00:21,683 My dentist sent me a Christmas card? 8 00:00:21,683 --> 00:00:23,283 I didn't even know I had a dentist. 9 00:00:23,283 --> 00:00:24,963 You are being hysterical. Oh. 10 00:00:24,963 --> 00:00:26,163 Are you OK with it or not? 11 00:00:26,163 --> 00:00:28,083 Yes, I am fine with it. Are you, though? 12 00:00:28,083 --> 00:00:30,283 OK. Yeah. Yeah, you know what, 13 00:00:30,283 --> 00:00:32,643 I am, because these things happen, don't they? 14 00:00:32,643 --> 00:00:36,163 People fall in love and then they move in with each other. 15 00:00:36,163 --> 00:00:39,083 Not always. Sometimes people live very separate lives. 16 00:00:39,083 --> 00:00:40,963 Sometimes they live in the same lake house 17 00:00:40,963 --> 00:00:44,043 but actually live several years apart. It happens, you know. 18 00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:46,603 Why aren't you going to Tom's for Christmas? 19 00:00:46,603 --> 00:00:47,803 Been going out for two weeks, 20 00:00:47,803 --> 00:00:49,843 why would I go to Tom's for Christmas? 21 00:00:49,843 --> 00:00:51,323 Because he asked you. 22 00:00:51,323 --> 00:00:53,203 Yeah, but he was just being polite, you know. 23 00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:56,123 And in return, I was being polite by saying no. 24 00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:57,363 We all got what we wanted. 25 00:00:57,363 --> 00:00:58,883 You're going to miss him. 26 00:00:58,883 --> 00:01:01,403 Well, obviously I'm going to miss him but, you know, 27 00:01:01,403 --> 00:01:04,603 just meeting the parents, it's intense. I don't... 28 00:01:04,603 --> 00:01:07,603 What's this? This... This is your handwriting. 29 00:01:07,603 --> 00:01:08,883 Ooh. 30 00:01:08,883 --> 00:01:11,803 What are you doing? No, no, no. No, do not read this. 31 00:01:11,803 --> 00:01:13,323 Why did you send me a letter? 32 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,003 No, no, no, no, oh, my God. Oh. 33 00:01:15,003 --> 00:01:17,483 OK, so I may have sent a few letters 34 00:01:17,483 --> 00:01:21,403 to people when I thought I was leaving the country forever. 35 00:01:23,243 --> 00:01:25,363 And what sort of emotional space 36 00:01:25,363 --> 00:01:26,963 were you in at the time? 37 00:01:26,963 --> 00:01:29,363 SHE SOBS 38 00:01:35,643 --> 00:01:37,483 Not a great one. 39 00:01:37,483 --> 00:01:40,003 My God. Let me read that. 40 00:01:40,003 --> 00:01:42,683 No, no, no. Please? No, no, Kate, you can't. Oh, my gosh, 41 00:01:42,683 --> 00:01:44,043 this is so embarrassing. 42 00:01:44,043 --> 00:01:45,923 I... I told so many people I love them 43 00:01:45,923 --> 00:01:47,603 and now I have to see them again. 44 00:01:47,603 --> 00:01:48,643 This is a disaster. 45 00:01:48,643 --> 00:01:51,803 You didn't send one to Ben, did you? 46 00:01:51,803 --> 00:01:53,443 Yes. 47 00:01:53,443 --> 00:01:55,003 You messy bitch. 48 00:01:55,003 --> 00:01:56,883 You know what? He deserved it. 49 00:01:56,883 --> 00:02:00,043 He totally deserved it and I stand by everything I said. 50 00:02:00,043 --> 00:02:01,923 What did you say? I don't remember. 51 00:02:01,923 --> 00:02:04,563 Right. Well, no, I mean probably along the lines of, 52 00:02:04,563 --> 00:02:06,523 you know, "I hate you, you ruined my life, 53 00:02:06,523 --> 00:02:09,083 "I never want to see you again," your classic hits. 54 00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:12,323 You know I once had a dream where I killed him. 55 00:02:12,323 --> 00:02:13,923 SHE GASPS 56 00:02:13,923 --> 00:02:15,443 But then he turned into Tim Curry. 57 00:02:15,443 --> 00:02:18,483 I woke up with this, like, deep guilt. 58 00:02:18,483 --> 00:02:23,083 Well, rightly so - Tim Curry is a national treasure. 59 00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:24,563 You sure you don't want to come? 60 00:02:24,563 --> 00:02:26,443 I don't like the idea of you wandering around 61 00:02:26,443 --> 00:02:28,003 the flat like a Christmas ghost. 62 00:02:28,003 --> 00:02:30,123 I'll be fine. You have a good Christmas. 63 00:02:30,123 --> 00:02:33,283 Thank you. Send my love to your family. I will. 64 00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:37,643 Oh. No, no, no. Please! I knew that hug was fake. 65 00:02:37,643 --> 00:02:40,163 I knew it, I could feel it. Your heart wasn't in it. 66 00:02:40,163 --> 00:02:42,523 It's wrong of you to withhold that. Disgusting. 67 00:02:42,523 --> 00:02:45,363 You've written it. You've sent it. You'll never read this. It's mine. 68 00:02:45,363 --> 00:02:49,883 Have a good Christmas. Have a good Christmas, you filthy bitch. 69 00:02:58,043 --> 00:02:59,163 Bye. 70 00:03:07,123 --> 00:03:10,563 Oh, yeah, what do you think? There? 71 00:03:10,563 --> 00:03:12,843 Hmm. Uh... 72 00:03:12,843 --> 00:03:14,683 No. Why not? 73 00:03:14,683 --> 00:03:15,963 You don't need to. 74 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:19,203 But you've got such white teeth and I'm naturally competitive. 75 00:03:19,203 --> 00:03:21,643 I like your disgusting brown teeth. 76 00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:26,923 Ooh, I got you a present. 77 00:03:26,923 --> 00:03:28,443 Why? 78 00:03:28,443 --> 00:03:29,803 For Christmas. 79 00:03:29,803 --> 00:03:31,643 Oh, are they doing that again this year? 80 00:03:31,643 --> 00:03:33,803 Mm-hm. Oh. 81 00:03:33,803 --> 00:03:36,443 Thank you, that's so...that's so nice. 82 00:03:36,443 --> 00:03:38,243 You're welcome. 83 00:03:38,243 --> 00:03:40,083 Well, I...I also got you a present. 84 00:03:40,083 --> 00:03:43,563 Oh, yeah? I did, yeah, just a minute. 85 00:03:43,563 --> 00:03:45,883 See here, I got you... 86 00:03:47,843 --> 00:03:51,763 ..these mints for all those kissing scenes that you do 87 00:03:51,763 --> 00:03:57,923 in your movies and stuff. Also got you this pen. 88 00:03:59,363 --> 00:04:02,523 This, from a bank that I no longer bank with. 89 00:04:02,523 --> 00:04:04,763 I've always wanted one of these. What else? 90 00:04:04,763 --> 00:04:07,323 Ooh, I got you a collection receipt from Argos, 91 00:04:07,323 --> 00:04:09,483 so you can use the pen to write down all your thoughts 92 00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:12,883 and feelings on something. There. So, you're welcome. 93 00:04:12,883 --> 00:04:14,323 You're very bad at gifts. 94 00:04:14,323 --> 00:04:15,803 It's the thought that counts. 95 00:04:15,803 --> 00:04:18,483 I don't think you're the one who's supposed to say that. 96 00:04:18,483 --> 00:04:19,763 Yeah, fair enough. 97 00:04:19,763 --> 00:04:23,243 Right, I guess I'll see you when I'm back. 98 00:04:23,243 --> 00:04:25,283 Yeah. OK. 99 00:04:25,283 --> 00:04:27,403 I'll see... I'll see you after Christmas. Yeah. 100 00:04:27,403 --> 00:04:29,443 So... 101 00:04:32,083 --> 00:04:33,763 Uh, yeah. 102 00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,803 And, uh, Merry Christmas. 103 00:04:36,803 --> 00:04:39,763 Yeah, well, and to you and yours. 104 00:04:43,443 --> 00:04:46,563 Sorry, I...I need to do that cos that was a terrible... Oh. 105 00:04:50,163 --> 00:04:51,363 Bye. 106 00:04:55,683 --> 00:04:56,883 SHE MOUTHS 107 00:04:59,283 --> 00:05:00,843 What are you doing? 108 00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:03,243 I'm, uh, it's if there are any Daily Mail photographers, 109 00:05:03,243 --> 00:05:05,643 I want to make it look like we're having an argument, so... 110 00:05:05,643 --> 00:05:07,403 Oh, OK. Well, this is a hot scoop, 111 00:05:07,403 --> 00:05:09,643 I'm going to send these in myself. 112 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,403 Why?! God damn it. 113 00:05:11,403 --> 00:05:13,363 Really feel the anger. No! 114 00:05:11,403 --> 00:05:13,363 SHE SOBS 115 00:05:13,363 --> 00:05:16,003 You are worryingly convincing in this. 116 00:05:16,003 --> 00:05:18,683 Why?! Why?! 117 00:05:18,683 --> 00:05:20,163 Bye. Bye. 118 00:05:22,123 --> 00:05:23,723 It's just so romantic. 119 00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:24,803 What is? 120 00:05:24,803 --> 00:05:27,363 You stayed for Tom. Perfect. 121 00:05:27,363 --> 00:05:29,523 I didn't...didn't stay for anyone. 122 00:05:29,523 --> 00:05:31,923 Well, you quit your job, you moved out of your flat. 123 00:05:31,923 --> 00:05:33,683 Did you get a letter from me? 124 00:05:33,683 --> 00:05:36,883 No. Well, if you do, can you promise you will destroy it? 125 00:05:36,883 --> 00:05:40,683 Why? I may've dropped some home truths 126 00:05:40,683 --> 00:05:43,883 that you're not ready to hear. 127 00:05:43,883 --> 00:05:46,923 Well, I'm glad you're back. Hm? 128 00:05:46,923 --> 00:05:49,843 I, uh, can't believe it's happened for both of us. 129 00:05:49,843 --> 00:05:52,763 Mm-hm. What? 130 00:05:52,763 --> 00:05:55,643 I have a girlfriend now. 131 00:05:55,643 --> 00:05:57,003 SHE LAUGHS 132 00:06:00,043 --> 00:06:01,803 Oh, for real? Yes. 133 00:06:01,803 --> 00:06:04,443 Oh. Well, what, so you've... 134 00:06:04,443 --> 00:06:08,043 ..you've said that you're boyfriend-girlfriend? Yes. 135 00:06:08,043 --> 00:06:10,003 Yeah, it's happened pretty fast, hasn't it? 136 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:12,443 Well, that's sort of what happens when people fall in love. 137 00:06:12,443 --> 00:06:15,323 Why does everyone keep saying that today? It feels very Truman Show-y. 138 00:06:15,323 --> 00:06:18,843 Great film. Yeah, OK, but, sorry, I know nothing about this person. 139 00:06:18,843 --> 00:06:21,043 What are...? You know, what does she do? 140 00:06:21,043 --> 00:06:23,203 How tall is she? What are her prospects? 141 00:06:23,203 --> 00:06:25,323 Uh, yeah, she works for this non-profit... 142 00:06:25,323 --> 00:06:27,883 And so did you ask her to be your girlfriend, or did she ask you? 143 00:06:27,883 --> 00:06:31,043 Uh, I can't remember actually. Yeah, just sort of happened. 144 00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:33,523 Yeah, cool. Very go with the flow, I love it. 145 00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:37,083 Yeah... Yeah, I guess it is. We make each other very happy. 146 00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:39,123 Yeah. So, when can I start back? 147 00:06:39,123 --> 00:06:40,643 Where? 148 00:06:40,643 --> 00:06:42,043 Uh, here. 149 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:48,083 Oh. Um, I'm sorry, you can't. 150 00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:51,643 What? So, uh, hang on, wait, what are you talking about? 151 00:06:51,643 --> 00:06:53,323 The position's been filled. 152 00:06:53,323 --> 00:06:54,923 Uh, well, Joe, get rid. 153 00:06:54,923 --> 00:06:57,803 I just hired her. Come on, it's a doggy dog world. 154 00:06:57,803 --> 00:07:00,083 Dog EAT dog. Dog eat dog, yes, whatever. 155 00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:01,643 Maybe you should branch out. 156 00:07:01,643 --> 00:07:03,923 Do you really want to work here for the rest of your life? 157 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,963 Yeah, that'd be sick. Ideally, yes. 158 00:07:05,963 --> 00:07:07,403 Well, I can't, OK? 159 00:07:07,403 --> 00:07:10,323 She's really nice. Plus, she's a single mum. 160 00:07:10,323 --> 00:07:12,003 Well, just offer her some vouchers. 161 00:07:12,003 --> 00:07:13,803 No. Fine, no vouchers. 162 00:07:13,803 --> 00:07:16,043 Look, I'm not firing her. Joe! 163 00:07:17,443 --> 00:07:18,923 You can split the shifts. 164 00:07:18,923 --> 00:07:20,323 I need the hours, man. 165 00:07:20,323 --> 00:07:22,483 We need to train up another projectionist anyway. 166 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:23,843 What has gotten into you? 167 00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:26,923 This is my decision as general manager and that's final. 168 00:07:26,923 --> 00:07:29,403 So maybe I'm not as meek as you say I am. 169 00:07:29,403 --> 00:07:30,843 You did read the letter. 170 00:07:30,843 --> 00:07:33,443 You read it. Agh! I am not meek. 171 00:07:33,443 --> 00:07:35,763 Ah-ha-ha. I'm not a meek man. 172 00:07:38,163 --> 00:07:40,243 Hoisted by my own petard. 173 00:07:42,203 --> 00:07:43,523 SHE SIGHS 174 00:07:49,323 --> 00:07:50,483 Hello? 175 00:07:54,763 --> 00:07:56,443 Hi, Mum. 176 00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:57,763 Hello, sweetheart. 177 00:07:57,763 --> 00:08:00,523 I take it your other favourite son hasn't arrived yet? 178 00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:03,643 Whichever one arrives first is my favourite son. 179 00:08:03,643 --> 00:08:05,043 Where's Dad? 180 00:08:05,043 --> 00:08:06,643 Yeah? 181 00:08:06,643 --> 00:08:10,643 "Pursues like a ghost." Oh! 182 00:08:10,643 --> 00:08:13,243 Hey, Dad. Uh-huh. 183 00:08:15,523 --> 00:08:16,843 OK. 184 00:08:16,843 --> 00:08:20,283 Hey. You haven't met Julian Assange, have you? 185 00:08:21,363 --> 00:08:22,803 No, Dad. 186 00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,043 Well, keep it that way. 187 00:08:25,723 --> 00:08:27,683 That man is nothing but trouble. 188 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,923 Is he editing Wikipedia articles again? 189 00:08:31,923 --> 00:08:33,443 Yeah, why is he...? 190 00:08:33,443 --> 00:08:37,043 Don't ask me. I'm only affiliated with that man through marriage. 191 00:08:37,043 --> 00:08:38,483 Are you hungry? 192 00:08:38,483 --> 00:08:39,763 Yes. 193 00:08:39,763 --> 00:08:42,203 Then you should probably start cooking dinner. 194 00:08:42,203 --> 00:08:44,003 DOOR OPENS, CLOSES 195 00:08:44,003 --> 00:08:46,963 Parents, I have arrived! Oh, God, here we go. 196 00:08:46,963 --> 00:08:49,883 Hello, Mother. My favourite son. 197 00:08:49,883 --> 00:08:52,003 I thought you said I was your favourite son. 198 00:08:52,003 --> 00:08:55,643 Yeah, actually, my favourite son's the one who brings wine. 199 00:08:55,643 --> 00:08:57,883 Where's your class, little bro, huh? Can't even spring 200 00:08:57,883 --> 00:08:59,843 a bottle of red for your own mum, eh? OK, come on. 201 00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,403 Is that Vinay? Hmm. 202 00:09:01,403 --> 00:09:03,483 How do you spell a hashtag? 203 00:09:03,483 --> 00:09:06,003 It's lovely to have you home, honey. 204 00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:09,923 Even if you did come empty-handed...with no girlfriend. 205 00:09:25,363 --> 00:09:27,763 Steve. Who is it? 206 00:09:27,763 --> 00:09:28,923 It's Jessie. 207 00:09:30,043 --> 00:09:31,523 No, thank you. 208 00:09:36,803 --> 00:09:38,323 Hi. Hi. 209 00:09:38,323 --> 00:09:40,923 Uh, go away. You have to go. 210 00:09:40,923 --> 00:09:44,163 Oh, stop being stupid. No, no, no, really. 211 00:09:44,163 --> 00:09:46,123 Where is your hospitality? 212 00:09:46,123 --> 00:09:48,243 One of your best friends in the world decides to stay 213 00:09:48,243 --> 00:09:51,123 in the country. You were supposed to take back presents for my family. 214 00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:53,483 I promise I will do that. I will do that eventually. 215 00:09:53,483 --> 00:09:56,403 Can you let me check your mail? No, no, don't. Look, it's Christmas Eve, 216 00:09:56,403 --> 00:09:58,283 do you not have anywhere else you need to be? 217 00:09:58,283 --> 00:10:00,563 No. Stop being weird, let me check your mail. 218 00:10:00,563 --> 00:10:02,363 Please, please, please, I'm begging you. 219 00:10:02,363 --> 00:10:04,843 What is going on here? What are you...? Are you safe? 220 00:10:04,843 --> 00:10:06,363 Yes, stop. I'm fine. 221 00:10:06,363 --> 00:10:08,643 Everything's fine. I just really need you to go. 222 00:10:08,643 --> 00:10:10,203 Just... No. What are you...? 223 00:10:10,203 --> 00:10:13,323 No... No. Ahh. Whoa, ahh. 224 00:10:22,043 --> 00:10:24,763 She's going to love that. That's great. 225 00:10:24,763 --> 00:10:26,843 Um, oh, that's... 226 00:10:24,763 --> 00:10:26,843 BANG 227 00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:30,523 There you go. Oh... Oh. 228 00:10:30,523 --> 00:10:33,323 I'm so sorry. Sorry. 229 00:10:36,043 --> 00:10:37,283 Oh, Goddamn it. 230 00:10:38,723 --> 00:10:41,363 Pudding's from scratch. Just let it go. It's fine. 231 00:10:41,363 --> 00:10:43,643 Next year I'm ordering takeaway. 232 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,763 You lot don't even eat half the food. 233 00:10:45,763 --> 00:10:48,243 So, Tom... Hmm. ..the new film looks crap. 234 00:10:48,243 --> 00:10:50,443 Vinay! Have you seen it yet? No. Mm. 235 00:10:50,443 --> 00:10:52,923 Yeah, but me and the aunties are thinking of going next week. 236 00:10:52,923 --> 00:10:55,283 Please don't take the aunties to see that movie. 237 00:10:55,283 --> 00:10:58,203 What film are we talking about? Song of Olympus. SIEGE on Olympus. 238 00:10:58,203 --> 00:10:59,883 Siege on Olympus, yes. 239 00:10:59,883 --> 00:11:01,163 That's out soon, is it? 240 00:11:01,163 --> 00:11:03,203 I just think you should try and be in better films. 241 00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:05,523 I mean, Mum's given you a white first name, use it better. 242 00:11:05,523 --> 00:11:07,523 I'll have you know that Tom is named after 243 00:11:07,523 --> 00:11:09,563 a great man we knew a very long time ago. Tom who? 244 00:11:09,563 --> 00:11:12,083 Tom. Tom. Tom who? Oh, you're kidding me. 245 00:11:12,083 --> 00:11:14,203 Completely blanked on his last name. 246 00:11:14,203 --> 00:11:18,243 Do you know who I miss tonight? Oh, Liv. 247 00:11:18,243 --> 00:11:20,523 Ooh, maybe you should get back together with Liv. 248 00:11:20,523 --> 00:11:23,123 Have you spoken to Olivia lately? No. We broke up a year ago. 249 00:11:23,123 --> 00:11:26,083 I still text her. Mum! What? I always put in a good word for you. 250 00:11:26,083 --> 00:11:28,563 Can you please stop doing that? Why? She's nice. 251 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:31,523 I'm seeing someone new, actually. 252 00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:32,963 Excuse me. 253 00:11:32,963 --> 00:11:36,083 Oh, yeah, of course, but she actually goes to another school 254 00:11:36,083 --> 00:11:38,763 so we're just never going to get to see her. Am I right? 255 00:11:38,763 --> 00:11:40,523 No. Her name's Jessie. 256 00:11:40,523 --> 00:11:43,523 She's not an actress, is she? You have a cousin called Jessie. 257 00:11:43,523 --> 00:11:45,563 Let's see a picture then. No, she's not my cousin. 258 00:11:45,563 --> 00:11:47,123 Why not? I mean, is she old? 259 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,123 Because I would actually respect that. 260 00:11:49,123 --> 00:11:50,883 Are you this much of a dick to everyone? 261 00:11:50,883 --> 00:11:53,123 Oh, I save it up for you. Yeah, I'm nice to my patients, 262 00:11:53,123 --> 00:11:54,683 so I kind of need an outlet. 263 00:11:54,683 --> 00:11:57,643 Come on, let's see her. Let's see her. 264 00:11:57,643 --> 00:12:00,243 OK, fine, but I don't have a lot of pictures of her 265 00:12:00,243 --> 00:12:02,363 and she's doing, like, a joke thing in this one. 266 00:12:02,363 --> 00:12:04,843 Oh, OK, so she's funny. Is she not hot? 267 00:12:04,843 --> 00:12:06,323 Oh, shut up. 268 00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:09,203 There she is. 269 00:12:11,323 --> 00:12:15,643 She looks very...smart. Is that the best picture you had? 270 00:12:15,643 --> 00:12:17,483 And she's in the film with you? 271 00:12:17,483 --> 00:12:20,043 God, she's got to be really funny. 272 00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:21,803 No, she's not in the film, Dad. 273 00:13:08,403 --> 00:13:10,083 He fucking Alan Rickman'd me. 274 00:13:12,563 --> 00:13:14,203 Oh, my God. 275 00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:18,003 CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS SHE LAUGHS 276 00:13:20,363 --> 00:13:22,083 He should be taken back to the US. 277 00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:23,803 Oh. We don't want him here. 278 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,883 Enough about Julian Assange, please. 279 00:13:25,883 --> 00:13:28,003 Oh, does this tree smell off to you? 280 00:13:28,003 --> 00:13:29,843 Have you watered it? Tom? Yeah? 281 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:32,083 Tom, what are you doing? Does this tree smell off to you? 282 00:13:32,083 --> 00:13:33,523 What are you talking about? 283 00:13:33,523 --> 00:13:35,163 Did you get this from the market? 284 00:13:49,403 --> 00:13:51,883 Merry Christmas. 285 00:13:51,883 --> 00:13:53,123 Woo... 286 00:13:54,243 --> 00:13:55,643 God. 287 00:14:09,563 --> 00:14:11,483 Any objections? 288 00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:14,763 No? Want a red? 289 00:14:14,763 --> 00:14:19,083 # My dog has flea 290 00:14:19,083 --> 00:14:23,883 # Flea, flea, fleas... # 291 00:14:23,883 --> 00:14:25,963 What is that? 292 00:14:26,963 --> 00:14:28,563 ON TV: OK, guys... 293 00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:36,803 Oh, God. Help... Help. OK. Whoo. 294 00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:43,403 Nan... Nan your camera's around the wrong way. 295 00:14:43,403 --> 00:14:46,043 'You're the other side too. It's around the wrong way. 296 00:14:46,043 --> 00:14:47,843 It's around the wrong way. 297 00:14:49,603 --> 00:14:52,963 Oh... Mm-mm. 298 00:14:54,683 --> 00:14:58,403 I just want to see your... See YOU. 'It's just the barbecue out here. 299 00:14:58,403 --> 00:14:59,803 No, it's still the concrete. 300 00:14:59,803 --> 00:15:02,483 'Christmas Day or whatever. Still the concrete. 301 00:15:02,483 --> 00:15:04,003 'The gazebo, we've set up a gazebo.' 302 00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:06,603 Still concrete, Nan. 303 00:15:10,123 --> 00:15:13,163 Oh, are they there? Oh, say hi. Tell them I say hi. 304 00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:15,163 'Got to go, darling. I'll ring you back. 305 00:15:15,163 --> 00:15:16,763 Yep. No, no, you have to go. Yes, yeah. 306 00:15:16,763 --> 00:15:18,923 Me too. I've got to, yeah. 'Catch you later. 307 00:15:18,923 --> 00:15:21,083 All right. Love you. 'Love you.' 308 00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:22,203 Bye. 309 00:15:54,163 --> 00:16:01,843 Hey, Tom, old Tombola, old, uh... 310 00:16:01,843 --> 00:16:03,683 Nope. 311 00:16:05,323 --> 00:16:07,203 SHE CLEARS THROAT 312 00:16:14,883 --> 00:16:16,723 Hi, merry Christmas. 313 00:16:18,883 --> 00:16:21,323 Uh, I think... 314 00:16:21,323 --> 00:16:23,203 ..I think I hate Christmas. 315 00:16:23,203 --> 00:16:26,403 Um, no, I...uh, I dunno, I dunno. Um, but I, 316 00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:29,403 yeah, it kind of sucks I can't see you today, 317 00:16:29,403 --> 00:16:35,803 which I know is...is mainly, my own fault but, yeah. 318 00:16:35,803 --> 00:16:39,563 I think...I miss you. 319 00:16:41,163 --> 00:16:45,283 Just gross, it's very gross to say it but I, yeah, 320 00:16:45,283 --> 00:16:50,843 I...I wish...I wish you were here or 321 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:56,683 I was where you are, but, yeah, whatever. 322 00:16:56,683 --> 00:17:02,483 I dunno. Uh...catch you later. 323 00:17:04,763 --> 00:17:06,243 Oh, my God. 324 00:17:09,163 --> 00:17:10,763 Sorry, also I forgot to mention, 325 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,963 I have been kidnapped and they want you 326 00:17:12,963 --> 00:17:16,163 to deposit £50,000 into their account by tomorrow 327 00:17:16,163 --> 00:17:19,483 and I probably should've led with that. 328 00:17:19,483 --> 00:17:21,963 So, bye. 329 00:17:27,723 --> 00:17:29,443 SHE SIGHS 330 00:17:29,443 --> 00:17:32,123 OK, wait, so just connect it and then... 331 00:17:32,123 --> 00:17:34,883 THUMPING BASS PLAYS ..yeah? 332 00:17:34,883 --> 00:17:37,763 It's very bass-y. 333 00:17:37,763 --> 00:17:40,083 You said your old one wasn't bass-y enough. 334 00:17:40,083 --> 00:17:41,803 This is too much bass. 335 00:17:41,803 --> 00:17:44,403 Nobody needs this much bass. 336 00:17:44,403 --> 00:17:45,883 All right, I'm off, 337 00:17:45,883 --> 00:17:47,843 these kids aren't going to cut themselves open. 338 00:17:47,843 --> 00:17:50,083 Don't be so disgusting. Ooh, hey, 339 00:17:50,083 --> 00:17:52,963 promised this kid in my ward that you'd give him a signed picture. 340 00:17:52,963 --> 00:17:54,123 Yeah, fine. 341 00:17:55,883 --> 00:17:57,603 Well, where are they? 342 00:17:57,603 --> 00:17:59,563 I don't just have one on me. 343 00:17:59,563 --> 00:18:01,243 Well, come on, then. 344 00:18:02,803 --> 00:18:04,483 You know, you should do a TV show. 345 00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:07,123 I mean, all the good actors are doing TV shows now, right? 346 00:18:07,123 --> 00:18:08,803 I'm doing another movie, actually. 347 00:18:08,803 --> 00:18:11,363 Wow. Well, I hope it is good. 348 00:18:11,363 --> 00:18:14,123 Been getting a lot of flak at work about that one, actually. 349 00:18:14,123 --> 00:18:16,603 Didn't realise paediatric surgeons were such cinephiles. 350 00:18:16,603 --> 00:18:17,963 Oh, man, they are, 351 00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:20,323 and they are fucking ruthless. 352 00:18:20,323 --> 00:18:21,403 To Caleb. 353 00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:25,963 "To Caleb. 354 00:18:25,963 --> 00:18:30,603 "Doctor Kapoor wet the bed..." Hey. Tom... Tom. 355 00:18:30,603 --> 00:18:32,883 "..till he was 16." All right. 356 00:18:34,963 --> 00:18:36,723 There you go. 357 00:18:36,723 --> 00:18:39,323 Yeah, you know what, I'm actually not embarrassed about that 358 00:18:39,323 --> 00:18:41,123 and understanding why that happened 359 00:18:41,123 --> 00:18:43,483 is actually what pushed me into medicine, so... 360 00:18:43,483 --> 00:18:45,003 PHONE CHIMES 361 00:18:53,643 --> 00:18:56,803 'Catch you later. Sorry, also I forgot to mention, 362 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,843 'I have been kidnapped and they want you 363 00:18:58,843 --> 00:19:01,643 'to deposit £50,000 into their account by tomorrow.' 364 00:19:01,643 --> 00:19:03,843 Is this a podcast? 365 00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:07,203 Cannot wait to meet her. Merry Christmas. Mwah. 366 00:19:10,603 --> 00:19:12,043 Still very bass-y. 367 00:19:15,723 --> 00:19:18,603 No, don't go in there. 368 00:19:18,603 --> 00:19:20,123 What are you doing? 369 00:19:20,123 --> 00:19:21,643 'Nora? 370 00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:25,643 BUZZER RINGS 371 00:19:25,643 --> 00:19:28,323 Oh, my God! Argh! 372 00:19:28,323 --> 00:19:30,483 Ah. 373 00:19:30,483 --> 00:19:33,323 '..so my wife can give a party - 374 00:19:33,323 --> 00:19:35,683 'a haunted house party. 375 00:19:37,683 --> 00:19:39,603 'She's so amusing.' 376 00:19:39,603 --> 00:19:41,603 BUZZER RINGS 377 00:19:46,763 --> 00:19:49,803 What the hell - I can't find my fucking keys. What the fuck. 378 00:19:49,803 --> 00:19:52,683 What are you doing here? I couldn't bear it, could I, 379 00:19:52,683 --> 00:19:54,243 you being alone for Christmas. 380 00:19:54,243 --> 00:19:57,163 Started ruining my Christmas, so thanks for that. 381 00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:59,483 Here's some ham. Oh, my God, 382 00:19:59,483 --> 00:20:02,203 you wouldn't believe my parents. My dad got drunk, 383 00:20:02,203 --> 00:20:03,723 my mum was crying, 384 00:20:03,723 --> 00:20:08,323 my brother was rude TO ME, which is totally not on. 385 00:20:08,323 --> 00:20:10,723 Such a joke. Honestly. Why's it so dark in here? 386 00:20:10,723 --> 00:20:12,483 Ooh, sorry. Ooh, sorry. 387 00:20:12,483 --> 00:20:14,963 Sorry. Merry Christmas. 388 00:20:25,123 --> 00:20:29,323 My mum got you a present, she wants a picture of you opening it. 389 00:20:29,323 --> 00:20:30,603 OK, coming.