1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:03,720
Hi.

2
00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:09,760
Should have rung ahead! Shit.

3
00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,000
Are you having a baby as well?

4
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,120
IAN HITS BELL
Well, it doesn't matter, does it?

5
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,680
What's going on? I'm sure
they're coming. I dinged the bell.

6
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,560
Hello, emergency! What the fuck
are they playing at back there?

7
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,840
OK, to be fair,
they're probably understaffed.

8
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:24,000
Oh, now I feel terrible.

9
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,080
OK! I'm here. I'm here.

10
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,800
Let's stop the horrible noise.

11
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,080
My wife is having a contraction.

12
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:31,640
Not right now, I'm not.

13
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,080
Well, she's in the right place.
How far apart?

14
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,480
Oh, I don't know. I should have
been there, but I wasn't.

15
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,040
RECEPTIONIST NURSE GASPS

16
00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:39,120
What's wrong?

17
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:40,960
Are you Tom Kapoor?

18
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,280
Ugh, now is not the time.
He's a close friend.

19
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:44,600
Are you with the group?

20
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:47,120
No, I just forgot this in the car.

21
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,280
Because you know what?

22
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:53,560
I know of an empty room if you...
if you'd like the privacy.

23
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,440
Yes, yes. Sorry,
we would like the privacy.

24
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,640
We're with him, with Tom Kapoor.
Tom Kapoor.

25
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,720
So, yeah,
we'll need that room now, yeah.

26
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,920
KATE GROANS IN PAIN

27
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,960
Shit!
Should she be in this much pain?

28
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,440
This doesn't seem normal.

29
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,080
She's in labour, Ian, this is fine.
I'm going to get a doctor.

30
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,600
No, no, no,
you don't have to do that.

31
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,240
This should not be happening
like this.

32
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,560
Tom, with me.

33
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,680
Ohhh.

34
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,960
Oh. Coming out of it?

35
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:20,280
OK. Yeah.

36
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,760
Finishing up? Yeah.
All right, come on.

37
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,440
Let's get ready for the next one.
Oh!

38
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:27,160
Yes, there we go.

39
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,120
Fucking hell!

40
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,600
No-one's ever been in this much
pain before.

41
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:32,640
Oh...

42
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,600
Remember when my appendix burst, though?

43
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,720
This is worse than that.

44
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,520
OK.

45
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,640
The nurse called me brave.

46
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,120
Thank you for looking after me.

47
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,080
That's what I'm here for.

48
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,120
Look, can I ask you one more thing?

49
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,000
And this will be the last thing,
I promise.

50
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,960
It doesn't have to be the last
thing. Don't be stupid. OK.

51
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,640
I need you to get me a Twix,

52
00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:01,360
a Diet Coke... OK. ..a packet
of ready salted crisps,

53
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:05,920
and... something else sweet
that surprises me.

54
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,080
OK, I can do that.

55
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:09,680
Are you writing this down?

56
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,640
No, I'll just go now. Sorry.

57
00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,280
Do you have any cash, or...?

58
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,760
Are you serious? Sorry. Yeah.

59
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,000
Twix. Yep.

60
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,440
Crisps. Coke.

61
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,680
Surprise. Surprise. Yes. Fuck.

62
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:29,480
Hey.

63
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,520
Hey. How's Ian?

64
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:36,680
Not great. Still trying to find
a printer for his birth plan.

65
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,840
I'm sorry about what I said
at the stag.

66
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,560
I just... It's fine, you were drunk.

67
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:47,920
I know you didn't mean any of it.

68
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,320
OK. Well, I guess I'll be off, then.

69
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,080
OK. See you.

70
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,440
VENDING MACHINE WHIRS

71
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,160
I did mean it.

72
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,960
I was drunk, but I meant
what I said.

73
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,160
And I don't really know what
to do about it.

74
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,960
Oh, there she is.

75
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,840
What? Jessie!

76
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,400
Hi, hi.

77
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,800
Wow! Where's Kate?
She's in room four.

78
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,080
Oh, hey, man. Hi.

79
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,080
You really do just show up places,
don't you?

80
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:42,120
Down to the left.

81
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,400
I'll be there in a second.

82
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,280
I don't want to do this right now.

83
00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,680
I'm sorry. I don't have to stay.
No, no.

84
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,280
If it's for Ian, then stay.

85
00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:56,560
But I don't want to make
today about this.

86
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,360
Should we turn the heating
up in here?

87
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:06,600
Put your shirt back on.

88
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,480
I want to be ready
for skin to skin.

89
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,840
Oh, I love skin to skin.

90
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,920
Oh, Jessie, choccy, thanks!

91
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,640
You know, I didn't think
I had any gas

92
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,640
when I had Olive. Sarah.

93
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,440
What? It's just an observation.

94
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,720
Sarah handles pain really well.
I do, yeah.

95
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,480
And so does Kate, probably.

96
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,280
Which is good, because it only
gets worse. Oh, God, does it?

97
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:31,960
OK, can we just stop talking
about how much pain Kate is in

98
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,200
or is going to be in
or just any of that, please?

99
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,000
Well, I just wish someone
had told me.

100
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,200
We could talk about Tom.
What's Tom doing here?

101
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,920
Tom is only here because he gave me
a lift after squash.

102
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,960
Jessie has nothing to do with it,
OK? Enough.

103
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,920
Yes, enough now. All right!

104
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,000
Jeez, I'm just trying to lighten
the mood.

105
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,520
Honestly, it's freezing in here!

106
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,760
Aaagh!

107
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,080
BOTH MEN EXCLAIM

108
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,640
Jesus Christ.

109
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,280
PHONE PINGS

110
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,240
We never get celebs through here. Oh.

111
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,600
We had that one bloke that looked
like Harrison Ford.

112
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,040
Oh, yeah.

113
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:12,800
Oh, he was gorgeous.

114
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,240
Thank you for printing this.
It's for my friend.

115
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,640
Oh, you're welcome, darling.
That'll be 20 quid.

116
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:18,720
NURSES LAUGH

117
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,080
Oh, very good.

118
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:23,200
She's a bloody wind-up, this one.

119
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,160
Oh, my days.

120
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:26,920
Tom Kapoor! No pictures.

121
00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,200
Listen, you have got to come
and say hi to my wife.

122
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,960
She just had a bloody mental labour.

123
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,080
I've actually got to get back...
One second.

124
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:38,960
Come on, she'll never forgive me
otherwise. Please, say yes.

125
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,040
Fresh baby. Come on. OK, yeah.

126
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,400
Just one second.

127
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,000
Oh, what a good man.

128
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,800
Come on.

129
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,800
Jesus, you look a state.

130
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:48,840
Really?

131
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:51,200
I think it's nice you two
have worked things out.

132
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:52,680
Yeah, who apologised first?

133
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,960
It was mutual.
She's learned her lesson now.

134
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,080
There was no lesson to be learned,
it was just a miscommunication.

135
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,880
Hey, don't speak to me like that
while I'm in labour.

136
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,840
I think I'm going to put my shirt
on just for a bit,

137
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,360
but I will leave it unzipped.

138
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:05,880
Oh, my God, Jessie, I forgot.

139
00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:09,920
♪ Happy birthday to you

140
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:14,040
♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪
Oh, stop!

141
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,120
♪ Happy birthday, dear... ♪

142
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,640
You get the idea.

143
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,800
What happened there?
Sorry we didn't come.

144
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,920
Yeah, did anyone show up
to the pub?

145
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,840
No, actually,
not one single person...

146
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:26,960
Oh, no, Amelia.

147
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,880
Fuck. Amelia? Yeah. Wow.

148
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,320
No, out of that.

149
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,640
How are you doing, love?

150
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:38,720
She's not good.

151
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,480
I'm OK. OK, well, let's have
a little look, shall we?

152
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,640
And then we might be able to take
you to the delivery suite.

153
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,800
I think a bit of privacy
might be a good idea.

154
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:55,840
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

155
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:57,400
Ian, you stay.

156
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,640
Stay, yeah.

157
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,160
I stay. I stay.

158
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,000
You're doing really well.

159
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,600
Thanks. No.

160
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,440
Look who it is, babes.

161
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:13,760
Just wanted to pop by
and say congratulations.

162
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:16,800
Oh, thank you.

163
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,000
Sorry, who are you? Tom.

164
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,840
Tom Kapoor, baby. Oh.

165
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,120
Tom Kapoor.

166
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:26,680
Do you work for Mads?

167
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:29,960
Yeah.

168
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,280
OK.

169
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,320
Do you want to hold him?
Oh, no. You're OK.

170
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,760
Come on.

171
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:35,920
Oh... OK.

172
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,880
BABY FUSSES
There you go.

173
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,880
OK... OK.

174
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:49,880
You've got to give him a smell.
The smell is insane.

175
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,000
Yeah, go on.

176
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,280
Oh.

177
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,360
Yeah.

178
00:07:58,360 --> 00:07:59,400
Really good.

179
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:00,440
Mm-hm.

180
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,600
Do you have kids, Tom Kapoor?

181
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:04,880
No.

182
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,120
Maybe one day.

183
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,120
OK. Put your legs down.

184
00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,760
KATE GROANS

185
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,240
Jessie, these pillows
are a bit thin.

186
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,960
I'm going to go home and get her
pillows. No, no, no, don't do that.

187
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,440
I'm going to leave you to it
for a bit. I'll be back soon. OK?

188
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,200
All right, all right. Yeah. OK.

189
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:31,800
Ian, I need a poo. OK, a poo.

190
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:35,080
Is that normal? No. A poo?

191
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,000
OK. No, no, it is! It's fine.

192
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,720
Women poo. OK. It's fine.

193
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,640
You're about to see a lot more, OK?

194
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:43,880
All right. Brace yourself.

195
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:09,640
Oh, whoa! What?!

196
00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:13,400
Dan? What the hell?

197
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,840
Oh, my God.

198
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:15,960
This is crazy!

199
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,240
It's... Jessie.

200
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,840
Jessie, Jessie.
Jessie, Jessie. Yeah. Jessie.

201
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,960
Jessie. Yes, of course. Oh, my God.

202
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,160
So what are you doing here?
Are you having a baby?

203
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,760
No. No. Right. OK, right.

204
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,200
Yeah. What are you doing here?

205
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,920
Well, Claire's in there now

206
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,360
and, yeah, number two's on its way.
Excuse me?

207
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,240
Yeah. Claire-Claire?
With the fringe, fringe Claire?

208
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,960
Yeah, the fringe is back!
Oh, my God, that's amazing.

209
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:46,480
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Congratulations, that's... You?

210
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,040
Yeah. Having... kids?

211
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,960
Yeah. That's full-on.
It's a lot. Wow.

212
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,880
Yeah. That's amazing.
Well, Kate's in there right now.

213
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,600
She's having her first.
No way! Oh, my God.

214
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,640
Like, the first is great.

215
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,160
You know, just when they're still,

216
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,000
like, all small and cute, you know.

217
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,720
You know what I mean, anyway.

218
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,120
No, because I don't have kids.

219
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,600
Do you not have kids?
No, I don't. Right, oh, right.

220
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,400
Do you want kids, or...? Um...

221
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,400
Oh, are you allowed to ask
someone that these days? No.

222
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,760
Fuck, no.

223
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,320
Because of feminism and everything,
so... Yeah.

224
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:20,080
I mean, you're... We're both fans
of it, so that's cool.

225
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,320
But no kids for you.

226
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,800
Er...

227
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:24,840
Yeah, I don't know.

228
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,920
Don't know if I'm bothered.

229
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,080
Yeah, yeah.

230
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,640
Fair enough. Yeah.
So, how's things for you?

231
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,320
What's going on?
Oh, are you still with Tom?

232
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,840
Er, no. No, I'm...

233
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,640
Yeah, we broke up ages ago.

234
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,960
Oh, joking me.

235
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,040
Oh, man!

236
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,320
That is rubbish.

237
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:45,560
I'm sorry.

238
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:50,000
But, hey, maybe you guys
will get back together, huh?

239
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,360
There's a thought.
Yeah, that'd be fun.

240
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,800
Anyway, listen, I've got to get
a jelly from the canteen.

241
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,200
I was supposed to get it, like,
45 minutes ago for Claire,

242
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,680
but, you know, she was like,
"Aaah!", so I just...

243
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,600
It was nice to see you. You too.

244
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,240
Honestly, I'm very...
I'm so happy for you.

245
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,280
Listen, you need to stop smoking.

246
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,200
Yes, shut up. OK.

247
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,240
Round two!

248
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:11,760
Bye, Dan.

249
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,600
You all right, mate?

250
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,560
Yeah.

251
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,480
Yeah, just hydrating.

252
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,240
How's everything going?

253
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,720
Yeah, it was all, er...

254
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,880
It was all getting a bit much
in there.

255
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,920
A lot of shouting and swearing.

256
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,440
Really? Yeah.

257
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,680
Kate said I needed to cool off.

258
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,560
It's all right to be nervous.

259
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,680
Yeah, I am quite nervous.

260
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,760
I know
I've been hiding it quite well.

261
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,000
I'm going to mess this up so bad.

262
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,280
Mess what up?

263
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:27,920
Just all of it.

264
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,960
I'm not even sure
if I'm meant to be a dad.

265
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,520
I don't think anyone's meant
to be a dad.

266
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,960
I don't know if anyone's
meant to be anything.

267
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:47,040
My dad would always say, in life,
you just have to pick a direction

268
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,400
and go with it.

269
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,080
Is that from one of your movies?

270
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,120
No.

271
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,800
No, it's from my dad.

272
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,880
It's good advice.

273
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,200
Yeah.

274
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,800
Yeah, it is, actually.

275
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,920
You're going to be great.

276
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,280
I'm going to set up a pension
for the baby.

277
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:20,520
That's a good idea.

278
00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:25,360
Oh, why is it taking so long?

279
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:26,920
Is it meant to take this long?

280
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,720
I think it can sometimes, yeah.

281
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,360
I'm so tired.

282
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:31,800
I know.

283
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,760
Come on, come on.

284
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:39,000
Ohh. You good? Yeah. OK.

285
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:42,360
OK, love.

286
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,720
Let's see how you're doing.

287
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,760
Here we go. Where's Ian?

288
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,480
You sent him outside.
Oh, I miss him.

289
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,080
He should come back.

290
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,840
OK, a bit of pressure.

291
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,440
Oh, do you want me to leave or...?
What else have you got on?

292
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:57,520
OK.

293
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,280
Baby's breech,

294
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,000
which means he's upside down.

295
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000
Ugh! It's already disobeying me.

296
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,400
I'm going to start preparing
for a C-section.

297
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,680
No, no, no.

298
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,000
Let's just wait a bit longer.

299
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,880
I know this all feels
like it's happening really fast, OK,

300
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:14,960
but the doctor would agree
it's better to be cautious.

301
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,480
All right?

302
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,640
Maybe your friend here
can go and find your husband.

303
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:20,840
Yeah.

304
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,360
Yep.

305
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,640
All right.
You're doing really well, love.

306
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,920
THEY CHAT QUIETLY

307
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,000
Ian, you've got to get back
to the room.

308
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,960
Kate's getting ready for surgery.
Oh, my God.

309
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,240
Oh, my God. No, the baby's fine.

310
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,200
Are you OK? How are you still here?

311
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:46,160
Jessie!

312
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:51,800
Jessie! Hi! They're taking me
to a second location.

313
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,320
That's fine. That's great news.

314
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,440
It just means you're about to have
a baby. Could you walk a bit faster?

315
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:57,840
We really do have places to be.

316
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,520
Can't back out now, can I?

317
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,720
Oh, no, I don't think so,
but you're going to be fine.

318
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,760
Everything's going to be fine, OK?

319
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,560
You're going to be fine as well. OK?

320
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,240
I love you! I love you too.

321
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,640
Bye!

322
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:44,960
Attention!

323
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,360
Kate has just given birth

324
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,440
to the most beautiful baby
in the world!

325
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:50,640
Is she OK?

326
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,560
Mother, father and baby
are doing well.

327
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,080
Is it a boy or a girl?

328
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,160
Oh, I don't know. I forgot to ask.

329
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,800
It's a baby, though! It's a baby.

330
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,560
It's a baby. Nice one, man!

331
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,640
Oh!

332
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,640
Sorry. I'll be right back.

333
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,360
QUIET CHATTER

334
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,400
LINE RINGS

335
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,240
Hey, it's Tom.
Leave a message.

336
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,800
Yeah, I know. It just all happened
really quickly.

337
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,840
Yeah.

338
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,960
Mm-hm.

339
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,880
I'm still in my squash gear.

340
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:56,880
Yeah.

341
00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,160
Me too.

342
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,560
I love you too.

343
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,760
OK. Bye.

344
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,360
DOOR THUDS SOFTLY

345
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:15,720
Sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt.

346
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:22,040
I tried to give you a call
that... the baby's here.

347
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,840
That's great.

348
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,200
Is everyone OK?

349
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,440
Yeah.

350
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,440
Kate and the baby are.

351
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,080
Ian's a little touch and go.

352
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:41,880
This is a bit on the nose, isn't it?

353
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,960
Yeah, well, it's the only place
I could make a phone call

354
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,800
without being asked to sniff a baby, so...

355
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,960
You know, I used to think
about our wedding all the time.

356
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,520
Really? Mmm.

357
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,720
Yeah, all the time.

358
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,560
But you never wanted to get married.

359
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:13,160
I know, but, you know,
I don't like the legal bit, but...

360
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,280
...I like party planning.

361
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,120
So, go on, then.

362
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:23,440
What was it like?

363
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,040
Oh, OK.

364
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:26,160
Well...

365
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,120
I actually hate the idea
of walking down the aisle.

366
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:36,640
So if it were me, I would sort
of break into a light jog.

367
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,920
A jog? Yeah.

368
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,720
OK, I'll show you.
Just, you know, a classy one.

369
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,200
OK. Hey. Oh, hi!

370
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,320
Oh, ow. Oh! Oh.

371
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:54,720
Ow.

372
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,560
You OK? Yeah.

373
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,000
Just clumsy.

374
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,560
So who's the celebrant?

375
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,520
Well, I was...

376
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:08,120
I was hoping we could use one
of your celebrity contacts,

377
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,920
get someone high-profile.

378
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,120
I think Vin Diesel is ordained.
Is he?

379
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,840
If he isn't, he should be.

380
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,040
OK.

381
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,040
All right.

382
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:25,600
I guess Vin Diesel is marrying us,
and he's wearing sunglasses.

383
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,240
Very cool.

384
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,440
Yeah.

385
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,520
Jessica Simpson sings a song.

386
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,760
Rowan Atkinson reads a poem.

387
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,160
A really long poem, though,
and everyone gets really bored,

388
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:44,640
but Vin Diesel brings the energy
back up. He's a professional.

389
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,320
And then Vin says to us...

390
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:04,120
"Do you take this woman
to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

391
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:09,320
And I'd say...

392
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,560
"..I think you're doing
this with the wrong person"...

393
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:23,120
...and that we've always wanted
different things.

394
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:25,240
That's not going to change.

395
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,320
And even though we loved
each other so much...

396
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,120
...I think we're pretty stupid

397
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,960
to think it can't happen
with someone else.

398
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,360
Because it has, hasn't it?

399
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,640
I'm sorry. Don't be sorry.

400
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:46,840
I'm sorry.

401
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,720
Those are pretty shit vows.

402
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,000
Yeah, I was improvising.

403
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,360
This is it, isn't it?

404
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:07,480
Yeah.

405
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,440
I'm so happy for you, though.

406
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,360
I know it doesn't seem like it,
but I am.

407
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,640
I'm really happy for you too.

408
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:23,720
If you're happy.

409
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:26,600
I am.

410
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:36,560
DOOR OPENS

411
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,320
Oh.

412
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:39,600
Apologies.

413
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:43,960
I'm sorry for your loss.

414
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:46,960
Oh...

415
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,160
THEY LAUGH

416
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,040
Oh.

417
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:56,240
I should go.

418
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,520
Clem's waiting up for me.

419
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:17,320
Bye.

420
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:19,840
Bye.

421
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,360
Jessie.

422
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:43,400
Jessie.

423
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,400
Do you want to hold my baby?

424
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,200
Oh, yes.

425
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,960
The middle name's going to
be Jessie.

426
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,680
RAIN PATTERS OUTSIDE

427
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,920
It's not a great middle name, to be
honest. Well, we'll think about it.

428
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,440
Keep your options open.
Nothing's set in stone. Yeah.

429
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,040
Hey. Leave a message.

430
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,200
Hey.

431
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:53,240
Er...

432
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,720
Sorry I didn't ring until now,
but the baby came,

433
00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,160
which is exciting.

434
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:00,520
Um...

435
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:04,240
Yeah, I just wanted to ring and say
thank you for everything yesterday.

436
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,840
Yeah. Sorry you were the first
person I thought of to ring,

437
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,840
but you were.

438
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,600
Um...

439
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:15,320
But, yeah.

440
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:17,600
OK.

441
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,040
Get in.

442
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,880
You're soaked. Thanks.

443
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,080
You stayed.

444
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,040
Yeah.

445
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,440
So, er, did she have the baby?

446
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:04,840
Yeah.

447
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,000
Nice.

448
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:10,120
Oh, um...

449
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:12,680
Here.

450
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,160
Happy birthday, for yesterday.

451
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,080
It's all they had
at the petrol station.

452
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:26,920
Thanks.

453
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:36,280
So where do you want to go?

454
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,360
Dunno.