(vehicle whirs)
(gritty rock music)
(siren chimes)
♪♪ ♪♪
(siren chimes)
♪♪ ♪♪
(siren chimes)
♪♪ ♪♪
(crashing, tires screech)
(harsh electronic music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(upbeat music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(sighs)
Hey, Tanya. Do you consider me successful?
Yes, I do.
I mean, not in the traditional sense.
That's actually the sense I was hoping for.
You know, you're rich in happiness.
I'm not that happy.
Well, you're middle class in happiness,
and that is flavor because the middle class is vanishing.
Mm...okay.
I think I should start doing stuff
with my life.
That could be cool.
(gasps) I've got stuff!
I'm gonna go check out the new coffee shop.
‐You wanna come? ‐The really far away one?
It's only a 68‐minute walk.
‐Do stuff. ‐Mm, nah.
I think I might do a little career research.
Good for you.
‐Hey, Kevin! ‐Hey, Tanya.
What is up?
(sighs) Nothin'.
Just reconsidering my entire life.
‐You? ‐Also nothing.
You know, just bein' regular.
Why do you sound suspicious?
What? No, I'm not suspicious!
You're sweating a lot.
Uh, I was at soccer practice!
You don't have soccer practice on Sundays.
Okay, listen.
There's something wrong with the bathroom.
Kevin, what did you do?
I didn't do anything.
Have you been eating in there again?
Yes.
We better not have cockroaches.
It's not cockroaches.
(creature roaring)
Uh, it was like this when I walked in.
ERNESTO: Oh, my God.
Kevin, did you leave cookies behind the sink?
‐Yeah. ‐That's why this thing is here.
It smelled your bathroom snacks.
Oh, man! My B.
Dude, you gotta stop this. We have a kitchen.
But sometimes I'm hungry in other rooms!
Hey, guys, what's up?
(creature roars)
Aw, man. What did you do?
Kevin left cookies behind the sink.
‐Again. ‐Kevin.
We talked about that for hours.
Hey, I'm still not convinced this is my fau‐‐
‐(screams) ‐Oh, dear Lord!
(screaming)
(grunts) Stop!
You know what this means, right?
(sighs)
We have to use the half bathroom.
Oh, my God. No.
(eerie music)
(creature groaning)
What the hell is that?
Oh, hey, Cat.
Kevin left cookies in the bathroom.
Damn it, Kevin!
There's nothing cool about eating cookies on the toilet!
Hey, cool it, man.
No. I just cleaned in there.
You cleaned in there, like, two weeks ago.
Yeah, two weeks ago, thoroughly clean.
And may also I ask,
when's the last time you cleaned in there?
This is not a competition.
Life is a competition.
And you're runnin' in last place, buddy.
Give me that broom. I'm gonna take care of this.
Go on, get out! (yowls)
Uh, Cat?
(groans)
All right, he's alive. Kevin, clean up your shit.
I have life stuff to figure out.
(creature roars)
♪♪ I'm not going to sleep ♪♪
♪♪ To wait if I die ♪♪
(upbeat rock music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(music fades to car radio)
Hey, what gives? Why is that guy rich?
I should be rich.
Hmm. Where does money come from?
‐(lightbulb dings) ‐(glass shatters)
Hey, we should sue Blockbuster.
You wanna sue Blockbuster?
Yes, Rona. Noel and I used to work there,
and unless I'm mistaken, they had money.
Do try to keep up.
They went out of business 12 years ago.
Yeah, probably because somebody wouldn't
rent Pixar movies to people.
The bloopers are unprofessional!
They rock! Rona, you agree.
The bloopers, we know them.
Uh, they, uh‐‐
I really love The Brave Little Toaster.
Yeah, no shit.
Everybody loves The Brave Little Toaster.
You know why? There's no bloopers.
No! It's a classic because
of that rude little radio voiced by Jon Lovitz!
(tires squealing)
(all yelling)
(car crashes)
(siren wails)
I can't believe you totaled my car again!
‐Why are you like this? ‐I don't know.
Probably the same reason your ass is too big for your frame.
(growls, grunts)
(grunts)
(dreamy music)
‐SWAN BOY: God? ‐It's actually Josh.
‐(electricity zaps) ‐SWAN BOY: (screams)
Hey, Swan Boy, Noel's pretty upset.
He's suing you.
What? That bitch! I'll ruin him!
Well, you know, I can help.
Are you sure? 'Cause, you know,
once you kill somebody... (laughs)
That follows you for life.
What? No. I meant I can represent you.
I studied law.
Wait, were you gonna kill Noel?
Oh, my God, Rona! No, no.
I was gonna have you do it.
(cars beeping)
So, uh, what're we talkin'?
Just, uh, standard suing the guy?
I don't care about the money.
I just wanna teach him a lesson
about respecting other people's property.
Okay, well, if things go south, I'll give my friend the signal,
and he'll show everybody his hole.
Usually ends in a mistrial, so no harm, no foul.
It's not one of your nicer holes.
‐(gong rings) ‐(grunts)
(audience whispering)
Wow, a real courtroom. This is my big chance.
Big chance to do what?
Ah, you know, fuck around, have fun.
That's what you do every day.
Yeah, but not in a courtroom.
Please don't make this worse than it has to be.
Wonder what would happen if I touched the bailiff's gun?
All rise for the Honorable Judge Hopper.
Mister‐‐ (clears throat)
Dandelose, you're being sued for reckless endangerment.
How do you plead?
I'd like to call my first witness to the stand.
Myself!
‐(all gasp) ‐In all my years!
Ugh, great. He's on one.
Place your hand on the Bible.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Heh. No.
‐(all gasp) ‐What the what?
(scoffs) Excuse me?
I don't need God's help! Yah!
Oh, for fuck's sake.
(chuckling) Your Honor.
Noel slandered Pixar and their fine bloopers
after recklessly allowing me into his car
without doing a seat belt check.
I did a seat belt check. You took it off.
You gotta do multiple seat belt checks with me!
This is absurd. Go take a seat!
Gladly.
We rule in favor of the defendant.
We recommend the prosecution apologize to Swan Boy.
‐And then, the chair! ‐(all gasp)
Come on! Objection!
Overruled! Ride the lightning!
Yes, ride the‐‐ what, no!
‐Overruled! ‐Underruled!
‐Overruled! ‐Overruled!
‐I agree! ‐(laughing)
Oldest trick in the‐‐aw, shit.
God, give it up, all right?
You're embarrassing yourself.
‐You're embarrassing Rona. ‐No more than usual.
And worst of all, you're embarrassing me.
Me! Of all people!
You always make things like this!
‐(siren whoops) ‐(helicopters whirring)
All right, just give it up, and I'll drop the case.
No way, what if I'm right?
You don't even know what you're arguing about.
Listen to yourself!
(laughing) No, thank you.
I got a weird voice.
(both grunting)
Order!
‐(gong rings) ‐(zipper unzips)
(all screaming)
Order! Order, order, order!
I'm holding you both in contempt of court.
BOTH: Stay out of this!
(somber harmonica music)
(buzzer blares)
Well, jail, we meet again.
Rona? What're you doing here?
Practicing law without a license.
What do we think the Wi‐Fi situation is here?
(harsh electronic music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(upbeat music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(buzzer)
(groans)
Ahh.
Kevin? Did you clean the bathroom yet?
(creature roaring)
You did not clean the bathroom!
Mm. (sucks teeth)
(sighs)
(grunts)
(eerie music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(switch clicks)
Huh.
It's actually not that bad.
Oh, shit.
(grunting)
Come on.
‐(muffled knocking) ‐ERNESTO: Hey, Kevin?
(knocking continues)
Turt?
‐Cat? ‐(creature growling)
(sighs)
(creature grumbling faintly)
‐(phone buzzing) ‐Hey, Tanya.
Hey, you just texted me the words "bathroom emergency"
in all caps. What's up?
Yeah, I'm trapped in the half bathroom at my place.
Why are you using the half bathroom?
There's, like, an alien or a monster
or something in the regular bathroom.
‐TANYA: Oh, man. ‐Yeah.
Kevin left cookies in there.
‐God, again? ‐ERNESTO: Yeah.
Ugh, I'm so glad I don't have roommates.
Thank God for soulless jobs!
You're living the dream. What're you up to right now?
I'm still at this coffee shop. The line is super long.
Um, do you wanna maybe bail
and come get me out of here instead?
No, dude, I've put 2 1/2 hours into this.
I've gotta see if it's worth the hype.
No, yeah. That seems important.
Listen, I'll come get you on the way back.
We can do lunch.
Tanya, there's a spider in here!
I'll see you in, like, 84 minutes, okay?
Oh, God!
‐Don't get all stressed out. ‐ERNESTO: (whining)
It's way too late for that.
Oh, man.
Um, excuse me.
Do you think I could go in front of you?
My friend is stuck in his half bathroom.
‐(laughing) ‐Ugh.
Hey, lady, everyone's got problems.
You think I don't have to go let someone
out of a bathroom after this?
‐Do you? ‐Yeah, my friend Karen.
She's been stuck in her bathroom for three days.
‐Oh, Karen, no. ‐You know Karen?
No, but she sounds incredible.
She's one of my third best friends.
Hey, um, I'm just blue‐skying here,
but why don't we just order together?
‐Are you getting any food? ‐No.
Pshh. Yeah, me either.
Great. Thanks.
Excuse me, do you think I can go in front of you?
My friend is stuck in his half bathroom.
(downbeat chiptune music)
(sighs)
I'm gonna die in a half bathroom.
Not even a real bathroom.
At least we became bros in the end.
Didn't we, spider?
Thank you for believing in me.
TANYA: Ernesto, you still in there?
Tanya? How was the coffee?
Not good.
‐Did you lock it? ‐Yeah.
And then I broke the door handle off.
Ugh. All right, all right.
I'm gonna try something.
Hi‐yah!
It didn't work.
‐Should I try again? ‐ERNESTO: Yeah.
TANYA: Second hi‐yah!
I think it opens in the other direction.
Man, these doors are thin.
‐Hey, Tanya. ‐Hey.
Why are you breaking my house?
‐ERNESTO: Kevin! ‐Ernesto?
Did you clean the bathroom yet?
Yeah. I mean, I'm doing it.
I got the broom out.
(creature roars)
What're you up to?
I'm stuck in this goddamn half bathroom!
KEVIN: Oh, you have to lift the door, then push.
Oh.
(groans)
‐Hey, Tanya. ‐Hey.
‐Dude. ‐Hey!
No hey. Bathroom.
Ugh. Fine!
(creature snarling)
‐(grunts) ‐KEVIN: Guys?
I think I need help.
(creature roaring)
Whoa.
You guys need to clean your place more.
‐Shit. ‐Oh.
All right, we gotta take care of this right now.
‐Kevin, grab the broom. ‐Oh, God.
Oh, God. You can do this, Kevin.
‐You've got this, Kevin. ‐Dude.
‐Just be brave. ‐Oh, my...
Okay, uh, can I drink some alcohol first?
I'd also like to drink some alcohol first.
(sighs)
(harsh electronic music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(mischievous music)
(wind whistling)
Don't do it, Moss! Don't jump!
You got so much to live for!
Huh?
MAN: You still owe me a hundred bucks!
Jump? What?
(dog barking)
(dramatic music)
(mischievous music)
BEN: Hey. Hey, I‐‐I see you.
You‐‐you tryin' to break in?
Uh, not on my watch, pal.
Oh, hush, Ben. Not all gypsies are thieves.
I‐‐I didn't say he was a gypsy.
You're a racist!
♪♪ ♪♪
You really went above and beyond today, Walt.
That was a risky move, but it got us the results
we need to keep this whole thing going.
And since you helped me out, I have something for you.
Just a little thank you gift.
(ominous music)
(pigeons cooing)
(mischievous music)
♪♪ ♪♪
Oh, oh, I don't think he's trying to break in, Ben.
I think he's trying to help that boy on the ledge.
(burps)
BEN'S WIFE: Oh, no!
Oh, God! Hold on!
Help is on the way!
(suspenseful music)
(dog barking)
♪♪ ♪♪
(siren wailing in the distance)
(triumphant music)
Oh, God, my thong!
Sir, stay where you are.
We are coming to help you down!
(screams)
Oh, we got a fuckin' dangler!
I have a dangler.
(wailing)
Shit!
(chimes twinkle)
Hey, what the hell are you doin' up there?
Don't be a hero!
♪♪ ♪♪
(retches)
(wind whistling)
(voice distorted) No!
(drumroll)
FIREMAN: Paul, get that ladder up there!
Oh! Oh!
(dramatic music)
♪♪ ♪♪
Ah! Oh, oh!
(screaming)
(thud on door)
(grunts)
(indistinct shouting)
Is this your apartment, miss?
Yeah, I was locked out.
Is Walt okay?
I asked him to climb in through my window and let me in.
Did he fall?
(swelling dramatic music)
Walt!
♪♪ ♪♪
(sniffing)
Oh. Uh...
Ugh.
Oh. (clears throat)
Thanks again, Walt.
I'll definitely remember these next time.
(laughs, sighs)
Hey, hey.
You're a hero, son.
You smell like shit, but you're a goddamn hero.
♪♪ ♪♪
(harsh electronic music)
♪♪ ♪♪
Hey, we gonna hang out after work?
‐Yeah, I'd love to‐‐ ‐Ah.
Sorry.
(upbeat rock music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(atmospheric music)
SAM: Let me ask you this.
Have you ever seen a Bunyip?
Basically, I was just sitting around
doing pretty much nothing at my auntie's house
when I heard a very loud honking sound
from behind the old jacaranda tree.
(echoing) Honk.
Is somebody there?
Whoa. A Bunyip.
(spacey music)
What's your name, cobber?
Oh, I'm‐‐I'm Sam. What about you?
Yeah, me too. I'm also named Sam.
No way!
Nah, mate. I'm just yanking your chain.
My name's Gglungo.
Do you wanna come and meet my family?
SAM: I wanted to go to a music festival later that month,
and I was kind of worried that the Bunyips would try
to eat my skin or fuck me to death.
Gglungo sensed my unease.
Relax, mate. We aren't dangerous.
Yeah, okay. Why not?
Are you sure this is all right to wear?
Ooh, nah. You better put on a tuxedo.
(chuckling)
Let's go, mate. Hurry up.
(birds chirping)
(singing echoes)
SAM: Gglungo's brothers and sisters greeted me
with a traditional song that was so gorgeous,
it made me cry.
(Bunyips singing cheerfully)
And they even gave me a feed.
I promised I'd come back to visit
and walked home with a very large smile on my dial.
My auntie couldn't believe what I'd seen.
Oh, they sound good.
Trust me. They're really good.
I wanna meet them ASAP.
I'll borrow my mate's camera,
and we can get some photos of the bastards.
(birds chirping)
Hey! Gglungo!
(Bunyips start singing)
Sam the man! Who's this?
I'm Sam's auntie. Hi.
You guys have really got the wow factor.
Ever thought about becoming famous?
What is fame?
SAM: She gave the Bunyips the lowdown on showbiz.
I couldn't help notice she was using nice examples,
like Nicole Kidman and Brad Pitt,
and didn't touch upon the darker implications
of celebrity like Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse.
We're gonna be superstars.
I can't wait to attend the Grammys.
Let's take some snaps, shall we?
Stand over there. Suck in your gut, please.
(camera shutter clicks)
Just hold onto that stalactite.
I might move around a bit. Get the li‐‐
Oh.
Aye, I'm sorry about that.
(camera shutter clicking)
With photos this good,
we have got to make a calendar.
New Year's is just around the corner.
Everybody will want one.
It'll be the most popular calendar of all time.
Bad news for those shirtless firemen.
Those firemen will be fuming.
Yeah, they'll be fuming so bad,
they'll have to use their hoses to put themselves out.
(laughing)
(sighs)
Man, Gglungo is such a crack‐up.
So what do you think?
I mean, we heard you fellas are the largest
and most successful calendar retailers in the world.
Sure. Do you mind if we take a look?
Hold on. Where's December?
Oh, yeah, there's, um‐‐there's only eleven Bunyips, so...
Are you serious? Yeah.
Uh, is that a problem?
We always include every month of the year in our calendars.
It's one of our main policies. This is unacceptable.
Can't you make an exception?
It's got three eyes.
No!
Ugh, Gglungo's gonna be devastated.
Most people only have two.
Please get out of here.
Hey, cheer up, little Sammy.
Those suits don't know what they're talking about.
We made a great calendar.
It's a shame they all died in the bush fire, isn't it?
(sentimental music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(harsh electronic music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(objects rattling)
(slot machine chiming)
(object rattling)
Oww.
(grunting, whimpering)
Oh. Wind knocked out.
Oh. (whimpering)
Wind knocked out.
(wincing) I had wind knocked out of me.
(grunts) Debra.
(sighs) Debra, you got a problem.
You got a problem.
(sighs) You need to go home.
‐(quirky music) ‐(coins rattling)
Debra, please!
SINGER: ♪♪ I know all the things that are bad for me ♪♪
♪♪ I don't really care what they say, hey ♪♪
(upbeat swing music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(creature roars)
(glasses shatter)
Let's do this.
(groans)
‐Kev? ‐He passed out.
(sighs)
All right, let's get him on the couch.
(creature grumbling)
Guys? Are you gonna clean this up?
‐Ready? ‐Ready!
(both yelling)
‐TANYA: Huh, ah, ha! ‐ERNESTO: (grunting)
(creature growls)
(glass shatters)
‐TANYA: Grr! ‐ERNESTO: Tanya, watch out!
(creature growling)
TANYA: Hi‐yah! Ooh, hah!
Ow! You bitch!
(both continue grunting)
Ha‐ahh!
(yelling)
(grunting)
Ow!
Ugh.
(creature roars)
Dude!
Where'd you learn to throw a knife like that?
Mm, videos.
(glass shattering)
Send me a link.
CAT: Oh, come on!
(goo squelching)
Ah! (exhales)
I'm alive!
You guys saved me.
You do respect me.
I actually forgot he was in here.
(panting)
Shh. It's okay.
What the hell was that thing?
It was an alien parasite. I think.
‐Actually, I don't really know. ‐Oh, my God.
It's like I could feel it in my mind.
It kept just, like, telling me
to call my mother for some reason.
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
‐Kevin, are you drunk? ‐Yes.
Good, can you show me where the alcohol is?
I killed the monster.
Yeah, thanks for that, man.
You're everybody's hero today, pal.
KEVIN: Shh. Pretty kitty.
So how about that lunch, darling?
I don't know.
I should probably get back to my career search.
Then again, I can't do anything if I'm hungry.
Food is the first step to success.
‐I'm writing that down. ‐Oh, you should.
Hey, Kevin! You wanna come eat with us?
(gasps) I know!
We should do all you can eat.
Will that be enough?
We can get two orders.
(creature roaring)
‐(manhole cover crashes) ‐What about dessert?
Oh, there's a new hot cookie place on 4th.
It's called Hot Cookies!
KEVIN: Ooh!
(creature growling)
SINGER: ♪♪ I'm not going to sleep ♪♪
♪♪ To wait if I die ♪♪
♪♪ ♪♪
♪♪ I'm not living a dream ♪♪
♪♪ Awake at night ♪♪
♪♪ This isn't a nightmare ♪♪
♪♪ ♪♪
♪♪ This isn't a nightmare ♪♪
♪♪ ♪♪
♪♪ Stay or sleep walk ♪♪
♪♪ My strut straight fade ♪♪
♪♪ Hate all people ♪♪
♪♪ I mean, I only need my space ♪♪
♪♪ It's 3:05 ♪♪
♪♪ I ride when it's dark outside ♪♪
♪♪ I'm a midnight child, I'm not going to sleep ♪♪
♪♪ To wait if I die ♪♪
♪♪ I'm not living a dream ♪♪
♪♪ Awake at night ♪♪
♪♪ This isn't a nightmare ♪♪
‐(clear music) ‐CHORUS: ♪♪ Yes ♪♪