Hey, we gonna hang out after work?
‐Yeah, I'd love to‐‐ ‐BOTH: Aww.
Sorry.
‐(indistinct announcer speech) ‐PERSON: Yee‐haw!
ANNOUNCER: This is gonna be an exciting...
‐(horn honks) ‐(cheers and applause)
‐(tires squealing) ‐(person cheering)
(air horn blares)
(intense rock music)
(footsteps)
(warbling)
(percussive music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(rhythmic squelching)
♪♪ ♪♪
(elevator dings)
♪♪ ♪♪
(breathing heavily)
♪♪ ♪♪
‐(stomach growling) ‐(groans quietly)
♪♪ ♪♪
Mm‐mm!
♪♪ ♪♪
(warbling)
(soft rumbling)
♪♪ ♪♪
(engine revving)
♪♪ ♪♪
‐(tires squeal) ‐(crashing)
♪♪ ♪♪
(indistinct PA announcement)
(garbled speech)
Thanks... (garbled speech)
♪♪ ♪♪
(garbled speech)
♪♪ ♪♪
(whirring)
‐Huh? ‐(gasps)
Mm‐hmm.
(footsteps)
(shimmering tone)
♪♪ ♪♪
Hmph.
(groans)
♪♪ ♪♪
(car lock chirps)
♪♪ ♪♪
(squeaking)
ALL: ♪♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪
‐(unsettling music) ‐♪♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪
♪♪ Happy birthday, dear... awkward ♪♪
♪♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪
(staggered claps)
(electronic music)
NAEEM: ♪♪ Sway(e)d ♪♪
♪♪ Sway(e)d ♪♪
REPORTER: Burning out of control...
‐(speaking indistinctly) ‐(crowd clamoring)
(people shouting)
(clamoring, shouting)
‐(breathing shakily) ‐PERSON: I am not leaving!
‐I have a right to be here! ‐(people shouting)
(clanging, crashing)
PERSON: Yo, this bitch is crazy!
PERSON: Fuck you! (shouts indistinctly)
(roaring, clanging)
‐(people screaming) ‐PERSON: Oh, my God!
‐(screams continue) ‐PERSON: Oh, my God!
(chill music)
♪♪ ♪♪
What the fuck?
(loud pounding on door)
(breathing shakily)
(disquieting music)
(loud pounding on door)
Who is it?
♪♪ ♪♪
PERSON: Package delivery!
(sighs)
I need you to sign.
Have to knock like you're gonna assault somebody?
‐Jesus. ‐(sighs) Sorry.
‐Thanks. ‐Thank you.
(children shouting in distance)
(footsteps)
(sighs)
(breathing shakily)
(breathes deeply)
(slurps)
INSTRUCTOR: Good morning.
Good to see you guys again.
So we have a newcomer today.
Everybody welcome Daryl.
‐Hey. ‐PERSON: Hey, Daryl.
INSTRUCTOR: What made you wanna come here?
Uh, well, you know, it just, um, seems like
the world is pretty crazy these days.
I mean, I don't know. Do you guys agree?
I believe the world's gonna go to shit.
I really do. I train for it.
I'm gonna train you for it.
It's about being ready. You understand?
You go far enough in this course,
and I'll teach you how to build your own bomb shelter.
(laughing quietly)
You should have your own bomb shelter
with two‐year supplies, minimum.
All right, Daryl, all my newbs
go through the same introductory test.
Lets me see what your skill level is,
what your limits are, etcetera, etcetera.
‐Cool? ‐Yeah.
Step forward.
Ready?
Yeah, well, I‐‐ I'm not really sure‐‐
‐(spray hissing) ‐Defend, defend, defend!
‐Oh! Ahh! ‐(Daryl coughing, gagging)
Come on. Punch the bags, Daryl.
‐Punch 'em! ‐(Daryl coughing)
Come on, man. Come on, man.
You know what your ancestors went through?
(Daryl coughing)
Do you know what‐‐ what cavemen went through?
Yeah, what if a lion was about to eat your family?
‐Defend! ‐(Daryl coughing)
‐Come on, Daryl! ‐(Daryl groaning)
PERSON: Yee‐haw!
(crowd groaning)
‐(vehicle beeping) ‐(air horn blares)
‐(squelching) ‐(indistinct chatter)
(jaunty guitar music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(intense electronic music)
NAEEM: ♪♪ You are strong, you a king ♪♪
♪♪ You're August, you are sweet and serene ♪♪
♪♪ ♪♪
(dramatic music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(water splashing)
‐(soft harp music) ‐What?
♪♪ ♪♪
(ethereal music)
What an extraordinary fish.
Now, I shan't succumb to the sin of pride
and actually keep it.
Instead, I'll put it back into the water
and wait for some bony, old, normal fish.
(splashing)
♪♪ ♪♪
(soft moan)
♪♪ ♪♪
I am the spirit of the lake.
For sparing my life, I shall grant you a wish.
Riches worthy of a king,
world domination,
godlike powers.
Thank you, kind spirit...
‐Hmm. ‐But, you see,
I'm but a humble fisherman.
Therefore, I shall ask for nothing.
N‐nothing?
Okay.
Um, to be honest,
I find that deeply problematic.
You...what?
So, okay, this is something that only happens,
like, once every thousand years...
‐Oh‐‐ ‐And it's‐‐
it's like you're so privileged
that you're not even gonna wish for anything.
‐FISHERMAN: Well, w‐‐ ‐I'm sorry.
I find that kind of gross.
I'm from, like, a humble village.
We're content to live our simple lives.
‐You know? ‐(laughs) Okay.
‐Do you have... ‐FISHERMAN: No‐‐
Any idea how many
starving fishermen there are out there...
‐FISHERMAN: Yeah, well‐‐ ‐Who would give anything,
literally anything, for even half of one of these wishes?
Of course. I mean, I'll just wish, in that case,
for no fisherman to ever starve again.
(scoffs) Okay, no. Sorry.
I mean, la‐di‐da.
FISHERMAN: I thought that's what you wanted me to‐‐
No, let's all bow down at the feet
of this great savior over here.
(mockingly) "Oh, thank you. Thank you."
Oh, this is‐‐I'm really‐‐
"Thanks for helping the fishermen."
Do you think you could wish for something
that is not, like, um, extremely patronizing?
How's about...a sausage?
‐What is wrong with you? ‐(fisherman stammering)
Can you not just ask for an infinite number of wishes
‐like everybody else does? ‐Look, look.
I'm just trying to do the right thing, okay?
(exasperated sigh) Fine.
Here's your sausage.
‐I'm being humble. ‐Yeah, whatever, mate.
(ethereal music)
♪♪ ♪♪
Twat.
(mellow electronic music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(Daryl sighing)
‐Get him, man! ‐Back up.
‐Get him! ‐(indistinct chatter)
(grunts)
‐(blows landing) ‐(grunting softly)
So, uh, why'd you get into all this?
I'm tired of being a cuck.
‐(blows landing) ‐(laughs)
Hey! Don't laugh at him.
Everybody's got their own reasons to be here.
Line up!
Jumping jacks.
Go!
‐Faster. Faster. ‐(Daryl panting)
Higher!
‐See this? ‐What the fuck?
Come on, Daryl. Don't stop.
‐(stammering) ‐Get over your fear, man.
You gonna let people walk all over you?
‐(whimpering) ‐ZACHARY: Huh?
You gonna put your head in the sand?
‐I‐‐yeah, no! ‐No.
You wanna live in your mom's basement forever?
‐No. ‐Good.
Neither do I.
‐(all panting) ‐That's right!
(Zachary grunting rhythmically)
(birds chirping)
Club, sword, gun.
Man has always had an intimate relationship with weapons.
It's part of us.
It's part of our masculinity.
Come here, Daryl.
Here. Shoot the target.
Uh‐‐wh‐‐um...
What's the matter?
It‐‐it's just I don't‐‐ uh, I don't have any, like,
formal gun training or any gun training.
I...
What the fuck do you think we're doing out here?
Right, yeah. No, no, for sure.
But, uh, don't you need, like‐‐ like, a license, or...
Daryl, I'm a cop.
It's okay.
Boom.
So I‐‐uh...
‐Just... ‐ZACHARY: Yeah.
(gunshot)
Wow, Daryl, you just might be a natural.
‐There is a‐‐oh. ‐(thud)
‐(indistinct announcer speech) ‐(tires squealing)
‐(crashing) ‐(horn honking)
‐PERSON: Whoo‐hoo! ‐(horn honks)
(cheers and applause)
(jaunty instrumental music)
‐FISHERMAN: Humble day. ‐Humble day yourself.
Could I have a small tier of ale?
One ale, coming up.
What's that in your hand?
Oh, this? Oh, it's a sausage.
I got it from this spirit.
Um, it's quite a good story, actually.
BARTENDER: A sausage?
‐(patrons gasping) ‐Did you just say "a sausage"?
‐(patrons exclaiming) ‐Sort of. I mean, well, yeah.
Because I find that very, very problematic.
‐Well‐‐well‐‐ ‐No, listen.
Don't you see how privileged you are?
(groans)
Waving an entire sausage around
like it's nothing?
But the spirit actually told me‐‐
Stop name‐dropping the spirit of the lake, Ernald.
You take responsibility for your sausage.
What, you think you're better than me now, do ya?
I'm content just chewing this old log.
(patrons exclaiming agreement)
Guys, I realize the sausage doesn't look good,
but, obviously, I'm happy to share it.
We don't indulge in your charcuteries.
(patrons exclaiming agreement)
I mean, what's next?
A normal glass of clean water?
‐Where does it end, Ernald? ‐ERNALD: No, no.
Of course not.
The sausage is a one‐time thing.
It's not who I am.
Ernald, Ernald, Ernald, I‐‐
(sighs)
I just think you're not understanding.
Right? Humility.
It's so important for any truly decent, loving community
where everyone belongs...
And that's why you don't belong here!
Now get out! Go on, get out!
‐(patrons shouting) ‐ERNALD: Well‐‐well, no‐‐
‐(overlapping chatter) ‐No, listen. Come‐‐hey, hey.
Yeah, get out!
(door slams)
Ernald, of all people...
Brings me great shame
to think I ever called him my son.
‐(jaunty music) ‐(distant screaming)
(percussive electronic music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(twangy music)
children: Good hex!
‐But I'm the fiancé. ‐Mm‐hmm.
Shouldn't I be the one seeing her?
Yeah, I don't know, man.
This whole haunting thing is, like,
sort of a mystery to me still.
Ugh, you drink like an '80s sitcom trope.
‐(screeching) ‐(can crunching)
Ha‐ha, hair burn. (hisses)
‐Is that her? ‐Ugh.
That would be a yes.
For God sakes, Anna, haunt me!
(disquieting music)
(screeching)
I just wanna nuzzle my eyelashes
in his tasteful cashmere.
Sorry, man, just too many good feelings, I guess, so...
We had bad times! Remember, Anna?
Uh, when you got a haircut
and I didn't notice for a whole day?
It was just a bang trim, and when he realized,
he took me to the architecture boat tour
to celebrate.
Yeah, uh, I once broke my own foot
so I wouldn't have to go to her art show.
You were on crutches for two months.
I know, and it was worth it.
I had to give you sponge baths!
‐(laughing) Stop it! ‐Wait. What is she doing?
Stop it, stop it, stop, stop, stop.
Your mind thing tickles me.
‐Don't. I'm serious. ‐Oh, does it?
‐(laughing) ‐(groaning)
I can't compete with this!
If it makes you feel any better,
she made me bring you here to give you
her loving last words.
Tell him I wrote an ode to our first Handian haiku
and see if it makes him feel better.
‐What? No. ‐Calm down.
‐What's she doing now? ‐Last words does not include
reciting an ode to your Andy hands...
I prefer the term "dick digits."
To the guy you cheated on me with.
‐(groans) ‐Wait.
She said you were on a break.
Technically, it was my lunch break.
Yeah, you're a fuckin' monster.
(voice distorting) Ow, Gregor, that hurts!
(normal voice) I don't feel seen!
Anna, is that true?
Uh...
Was our relationship predicated on a lie?
Hey, don't look at me. I'm just the messenger.
But, yes, she totally lied to you.
(screeching) Gregor!
What? Oh‐‐oh, God! Whoa.
Listen, I'll be fair.
That was the month that I had stopped speaking to her
because she seemed too into capitalism.
Paying extra for guac doesn't make me Ronald Reagan.
This is wildly unhealthy.
No, hey, man, you can't leave without her last words.
Yeah, I need to finish my unfinished business
so I can cross over to the afterlife
and make peace and shit.
Did you ever stop to think that you're both so terrible,
you deserve one another?
(gasps)
I'm so sorry.
That came from a place of rawness.
You know what? I'll just, uh...here.
(door creaking)
(door clicks)
God, you have terrible taste in men.
It's one of my best qualities.
(crashing)
(both laughing)
‐That's good. ‐Ah.
(intense music)
NAEEM: ♪♪ Sometimes when I have time ♪♪
♪♪ I think of you ♪♪
(poignant piano music)
♪♪ ♪♪
(somber string music)
♪♪ ♪♪
‐(indistinct announcer speech) ‐(air horn blares)
‐(cheers and applause) ‐(horn honking)
‐(siren wailing) ‐(indistinct announcer speech)
Ernald, you and your prideful sausage
have brought shame upon our village.
I'm sure you understand.
We'll have to banish you into the woods...
‐But why? ‐Forever.
(stammering) But we can give it to charity.
Ernald...
ERNALD: We can still make something positive from this.
Ernald, it's too late.
The consensus is... you're just a dick now.
(pensive music)
♪♪ ♪♪
ERNALD: All those years in the forest...
it changed me,
and that's how I became this dreadful, evil
forest demon who loves sausages
and doesn't care what anyone says.
(chomps)
Mmm...charcuteries.
♪♪ ♪♪
So yeah, I mean, just wanna say thanks,
and it's nice, you know.
I mean, I feel very welcome here
in your community, so yeah, thanks, guys.
‐(applause) ‐(overlapping responses)
Of course.
People are so sensitive these days.
‐Right? ‐ERNALD: Yeah.
‐Exactly. ‐(overlapping chatter)
‐These bloody libtards. ‐I mean, even, like,
the smallest thing just sets them off.
Thank you.
(overlapping chatter)
I mean, personally, me, I steal,
and I eat innocent children for fun...
‐(baby wails) ‐And, apparently,
that makes me problematic.
‐At the end of the day... ‐(Ernald gasps)
You just‐‐you can't let it get to you.
It really makes one appreciate...
(slurps loudly)
Meeting, you know, like‐minded people...
(slurps)
Like you, Ernald.
I burn down people's homes,
and people get so over‐sensitive about it.
I mean, come on, it's just a house
and the people inside it.
Yeah, okay, I cut people's heads off
because I don't like heads.
That's just the look I like.
Yes, I want to murder everyone in the world,
but I'm still a good father.
(overlapping chatter)
(sinister music)
♪♪ ♪♪
Would you like to sip some blood from this dead boy?
Half the dead boy?
No, I'm‐‐I'm‐‐I'm fine.
‐(jaunty music) ‐(distant screaming)
(percussive electronic music)
God fuckin' damn it, Daryl.
What'd you have to go and shoot a federally protected bird for?
I‐‐I didn't mean to, okay?
I told you I wasn't comfortable using a gun.
Oh, no, don't‐‐ do not blame the gun.
The gun does not do anything without the human.
CAL: Maybe it's just a flesh wound.
‐(eagle screeches) ‐DARYL: Oh, fuck!
(eagle screeching)
Put it out of its misery, Daryl.
‐Mm‐mm, no. ‐Come on, do it.
‐No! ‐Be a man.
No, I told you I'm not comfortable with guns!
‐No! ‐Stop being weak, Daryl.
‐No, I don't wanna do it. ‐Come on.
‐Okay? I don't wanna do it! No! ‐Do it, Daryl.
How are you gonna get over your shit
if you can't man the fuck up right now?
I'll do it! I can be a man!
‐(shrieks) ‐DARYL: Oh!
‐(grunting) ‐CAL: I am not afraid!
I am not afraid!
‐(rapid gunfire) ‐DARYL: Oh, God!
(gunshot)
(all panting)
Jesus fucking Christ, Daryl, grow a pair.
‐(panting) ‐Oh, hey, look.
It's only a robot. (chuckles)
DARYL: That's a tracker.
‐Fuck. Are you kidding me? ‐We're being tracked?
‐Fuck! ‐CAL: Wait.
‐Prashant! ‐PRASHANT: Don't use my name!
I don't wanna be deported!
Hey! Hey! Hey.
You are not pining this on me, okay?
I have all your info.
Okay, let's‐‐ let's just come clean, okay?
About the whole thing. It was an accident.
It was‐‐we killed the bird
to stop it from suffering, okay?
Let's just all take responsibility here.
Are you stupid?
No, Daryl.
No, okay?
Nobody is responsible.
You understand?
Nobody is responsible.
(soft upbeat music playing)
♪♪ ♪♪
GRANDMA: Hmm.
Lasagna's on sale.
♪♪ ♪♪
PERSON: Y'all can't stay behind?
(people shouting)
NAEEM: ♪♪ No safety net ♪♪
♪♪ Plotting scheme, no hasty acts ♪♪
♪♪ Class warfare can't hold us back ♪♪
♪♪ They attack and we react ♪♪
♪♪ Dominant, conglomerate ♪♪
♪♪ Stick together and we stay dominant ♪♪
♪♪ Midnight on that marauder shit ♪♪
♪♪ Grip the mic and they must honor it ♪♪
♪♪ Dominant, conglomerate ♪♪
♪♪ Stick together and we stay dominant ♪♪
♪♪ Lip tight, that brick and brawler shit ♪♪
♪♪ Grip the mic and they must honor it ♪♪
♪♪ ♪♪
♪♪ Sway(e)d, sway(e)d ♪♪
♪♪ ♪♪
♪♪ I killed the beat ♪♪
♪♪ ♪♪
♪♪ Sway(e)d, sway(e)d ♪♪
♪♪ ♪♪
♪♪ I killed the beat ♪♪
♪♪ Try me, try me ♪♪
♪♪ Trust me, trust me ♪♪
♪♪ Try me, try me ♪♪
♪♪ I killed the beat ♪♪
♪♪ Pull up, hands up, don't shoot, can't breathe ♪♪
♪♪ Hear death in songs we sing ♪♪
♪♪ Hate just spreads like ♪♪
(rapping indistinctly)
♪♪ Fresh air in Beijing ♪♪
♪♪ Most stay and frustrate if they swing ♪♪
♪♪ Won't care to guest in no new things ♪♪
♪♪ Nowhere, it's just in prayer and dreams ♪♪
‐(clear music) ‐CHORUS: ♪♪ Yes ♪♪