Hi, P-nut!
It's about to be live!
Look, I want this thing to be crazy.
No, no, no, no, no. I want it to be stupid.
Yes sir, we gotta shut the city down with this one.
Look, okay, okay.
On my list I got beer, I got confetti, glitter,
handcuffs, wings, nachos, burgers, fries...
What, no vegetables?
Hey, say, what about the vegetables?
Right, right,
the wings come with, with carrots and celery, baby.
Okay, okay, let me know if you think of anything else.
I'mma keep workin' on this.
All right, be breezy. Yup.
What was all of that?
Oh, babe, check it out.
I'm workin' on all the essentials
for my bachelor party.
Whips and confetti?
It, it's festive.
And who is Rico?
Oh, Rico is the connect that P-nut found.
He knows how to get things from the black market.
What could you possibly need from the black market
for a bachelor party?
Well babe, it might be safer if you don't know.
You know, Calvin...
I really been thinkin' about this, and...
I don't think you should have a bachelor party.
Say what?
I mean, it's archaic and juvenile, baby.
Are you really gonna spend all of this money
on scantily clad women and wings, really?
-Come on. -You know what?
You right, you right.
We don't need wings. We can do tacos instead.
Calvin, I'm serious.
Baby, where is this comin' from?
This is comin' from the woman
who's not comfortable with this anymore.
Babe, didn't you tell me you were thinkin' about
havin' a bachelorette party?
Yeah, I did.
But now I'm not interested in that anymore.
Oh...
I know where this is comin' from.
What?
You think I'mma get wild.
Yes!
Of course!
Babe, I promise you.
I will be on my best behavior.
Calvin, that's what all men say!
You don't trust me?
You know I do.
Okay, you know what? How about this.
How about you just come with me?
To your bachelor party?
Yeah!
Yeah, you just have to stay in the car between 9 and 12.
Wait, that's when the party begins and ends, Calvin.
Exactly.
You think this is funny.
This ain't funny!
I'll be there.
Oh... I'll be there.
In the car.
At the party.
In the parkin' lot.
With confetti on.
[birds chirping]
[plane flying overhead]
[car alarm blaring] [horn honking]
[fireworks whistling, bursting]
[siren wailing]
[music]
Yeah, I don't know.
The trampoline does sound like a little much.
Ooh.
A moon bounce does sound better.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll add it to the list.
Yeah. [laughs]
That's what...
Shush up! He's sleeping!
Oh, hey, I gotta call you back.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
[grunting]
Okay, Calvin.
Please just let him sleep.
Christian had a late nap today.
-Okay, all good. -Just give him
a couple of more moments.
All good. How are you?
I'm doin' fine.
He wore me out.
He wore me out today.
So much energy!
Where's Pops?
Oh. [laughs]
I told him that I needed
the baseboards in the bathroom repainted.
So...
He's somewhere hiding for a few hours.
Yeah, that sounds like him.
So...
What you got goin' on?
Oh, just a little plannin' here and there.
What, like a kids' party or somethin'?
Definitely not, kids are definitely not allowed.
Calvin, what are you planning?
Oh, I'm planning my bachelor party.
And you gon' have a, a moon bounce?
We are now.
What...
What are y'all gonna be doin' with a moon bounce?
Oh, well, P-nut was thinkin' that,
-you know, when the girls... -Don't answer that.
Don't answer that.
When you say P-nut, I don't want to know.
What does Laura think about this?
She doesn't want me to have one.
She thinks it's juvenile.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
I was just thinkin' the fellas would get together,
you know, at a special location with some food, some drinks,
a little live entertainment.
Yeah, well, I'm gonna have to agree with her on this one.
I just never understood why men go so crazy over these things.
Why?
Mama, you don't know?
I mean, I, I could tell you,
but it might get a little uncomfortable.
[chuckles ruefully]
It's childish to me. Childish.
Come on, Mom, didn't you have a bachelorette party?
I had a nice, classy evening with my lady friends.
No live entertainment.
[vocalizing]
"Make it rain."
[pronouncing badly] "Guarde estas instrucciones
para futuras referencias."
"Conservare queste istruzioni per riferimenti futuri."
I have no idea what this means.
It means keep the instructions for future reference.
You didn't go to college?
I knew that, I knew that.
But college didn't teach us how to build toys.
Yeah, I can tell you've never done this before.
Well, I mean, I would be further along,
but all the instructions are in different languages.
There's no English one.
Why did you get her somethin' with so many pieces?
Malisa went crazy over this at the store.
She was reachin' out for it,
she tried to hug it and eat it at the same time.
It's crazy.
How much joy it was bringin' her just to look at it,
me bein' a good dad, I wanted to surprise her with it.
[Jazmine] Okay.
All right, Unc. I'll see you later, man.
Holler at you later.
Hey, Dad.
What's up, y'all?
You forgot, I got, I got my keys.
Hey, Uncle Curtis.
Hey, baby.
[grunts]
So...
When are you plannin' on goin' back home, Unc?
Why?
You don't like spendin' time with your favorite uncle, C.J.?
You hidin' from Aunt Ella, right?
That woman always puts me to work, man!
Hey, Dad, I need your help.
Whew!
Look familiar, don't it, C.J.?
Yeah, brings back memories.
Look at that.
See, I was really good at puttin' toys together.
Well, you were okay.
Malik's bike never quite rolled right.
Yeah, it always pulled a little to the left.
Well, in my defense,
I perfected my technique with Jazmine's bike.
You right, mine was straight.
[Curtis] It was good.
Well, if you remember too, you and Calvin,
you always had a ton of toys you had me put together.
And I knocked that thing out, tell the truth,
knocked that thing out!
So, y'all were just a couple of Mr. Fix Its, huh?
Don't hate.
So, you think you could do a better job than Malik?
In my sleep.
See this right here?
No offense, Son.
I would knock this out in no time.
Yeah, I don't really think so, Dad,
'cause all the instructions are in different languages.
-He's usin' instructions! -No he ain't.
He ain't got no instructions. Don't say that.
Look. That's so sad.
Well, I wanna see what you two old men can do.
And if you finish it,
I'll buy you dinner.
Sweet Jazmine...
Do you know how hungry your uncle can get?
I'm about to break your pockets.
All right. Let's see it.
Yeah, I'd like to see this.
Let's do it.
Yeah, I know where all of this go.
[chatter]
[music]
-Oh, hey. -Hey, Miranda.
Wait, I thought today was my day to pick up Christian.
Oh no, it's...
Oh, you're right.
This has been such a long week.
Yeah, tell me about it.
[Miranda] [weary sigh]
Well, what are you up to?
Oh, I'm puttin' together some last-minute details
for my bachelor party.
Really, Calvin?
What? What's wrong with that?
I mean, don't you think that sort of thing is beneath you?
Absolutely not.
As long as a man can get married,
he should be able to have a bachelor party.
Sounds pretty archaic to me.
Oh, now you sound like Laura.
Okay, listen. She's right.
But don't tell her I said that, okay?
I won't.
You know, she just doesn't want me to get carried away,
and I'm not.
Calvin...
You are getting another chance at marriage.
Don't you think you should do something different this time?
How?
By maybe listening to the woman you are about to marry.
I mean really listening to her, Calvin.
I do listen.
But she said she doesn't want you to have a bachelor party.
How is that listening?
Okay, listen.
I get it for guys who don't know any better,
but you do.
Look... I don't want...
I don't wanna argue with you, you know?
Okay...
I'm gonna stick to my guns on this one.
You know what?
You always do what makes you happy.
Look, Miranda...
Look, I'm not tryin' to argue with you,
I promise you, I'm not.
Okay?
But I've been in her position.
And I get it.
Yeah, I don't think you do.
Okay.
Well, I'm gonna go get Christian,
and I suggest that you go home...
And you do the right thing. Okay?
What's, why isn't it right for a man to have fun
with his boys?
You know what, Calvin?
You're right.
You're gonna do what you wanna do anyway.
So, good luck.
[music]
Calvin, sweetie, I just,
I just don't think you should have a bachelor party...
No, no, no, no, no.
Yo, Cal! It ain't happenin', bruh!
It ain't happenin'!
Nah, nah.
Boy, you lost your ever lovin' mind?!
You think you gonna bring some strippers around me?!
You think you gonna do that to me?!
Are you crazy, boy?!
Calvin.
-Hey. -Hey, baby.
So good to see you.
Where's Christian?
Oh, Miranda's got him.
Oh, okay.
Uhm, listen.
I've been thinkin'...
I'm not havin' a bachelor party.
You're not?
I thought about it, and...
I was bein' selfish and inconsiderate.
Wow.
And you did all this self introspection
all on your own, baby?
Well, sort of.
I spoke to someone that pointed out the, the error in my ways.
That, and we weren't able to get the moon bounce.
Well, listen.
I know you really wanted the party.
But baby, I've had some bad experiences
with these kind of parties.
-Really? -Yes.
I was supposed to be in a wedding a few years ago
for a friend of mine,
and she had a bachelorette party.
Hmph! Ooh!
Okay?
So, what happened?
She had too much to drink, she had too much fun,
and then she got too familiar with one of the dancers.
Really?
Yes.
And her fiancé found out, and he called off the wedding.
Oh, that's horrible.
I know.
And I couldn't even get a refund on my bridesmaid's dress.
See, but you know, that's because women,
they don't know how to behave themselves.
What?
You sayin' that women are worse than men
in these types of parties?
Oh, absolutely.
Have you seen All the Queen's Men?
Some of them women should be ashamed of themselves.
Well, I remember my mother tellin' me
about her bachelorette.
Oh, your mama got caught up, too?
No, Calvin.
She and my dad just simply got away from their friends,
and they spent the night together.
And then nine months later, you were born.
Shut up!
Well, listen.
I know you really wanted it, so I was thinkin'...
Maybe we could have a little bachelor/bachelorette party
right here, right now.
Look, baby, we already spend the night together.
That's not what I mean.
What you mean?
I don't know, I mean I might have a little routine.
-Oh. -You gon' make it rain?
Oh, you gon' dance for me?
I mean, don't let this little pretty face fool you.
-Oh, oh, you gon' dance for me? -I might.
Well, make it do what it do, then, okay!
Okay, wait, wait, wait wait, wait, wait, wait.
I don't, I don't, I don't got no ones.
Calvin, you need more than ones for all of this.
But that's okay, baby.
You ain't gotta make it rain right now,
because you about to go first.
Oh, you ain't said nothin'!
You ain't said nothin'!
Wait, where you goin'?
I'mma go get the baby oil.
Oh!
Yeah, yeah. Patent leather.
Ooh, ooh.
-Oh! -Ooh.
[Laura] Hey!
Ha ha!
Do it, baby!
Mm!
This gon' be good.
No, no, no, see that end piece right there?
That's supposed to go over here.
Put, put that thing in the thingamajig.
And then put, put a piece of tape.
And then all that, that's extra pieces.
No, there are no extra pieces.
Everything is supposed to fit.
Dad, I thought you said you were good at this.
I am so disappointed.
No, see baby, what it is,
this ain't like the toys back in the day.
It was much simpler back in the day, wasn't it?
And plus, I ain't even got my tools with me.
Oh, see, well that's the difference
between back then and now.
See, now they give you the tools.
It, it's right in front of you.
What?
That's a horsey.
You call this a tool?
This is a metal toothpick.
The Allen wrench is supposed to be used to...
[pronounced badly] "Die schraube festziehen"?
Bro, I can't help you with that, that's German.
I'm done. All right?
This is for your daughter.
Mine got all they toys put together already.
Dad, you didn't even finish!
Yeah, well, we gave you a good head start.
Come on, CJ, let's go get somethin' to eat.
That's a good idea.
I ain't payin' for it, though.
'Cause like he said, y'all didn't finish.
Well, that don't matter.
'Cause you're not invited.
Wait, wait...
What am I supposed to do about this?
Well, you know, I know you want to be a hero for
your daughter and everything, but...
Pay somebody extra to put it together.
Okay, wait, now won't that make me look like
"less of a man" in your eyes?
Malik...
That ship has already sailed.
[laughs]
But look on the bright side, you learned one valuable lesson.
Yeah? What's that?
You don't know how to put toys together.
At all.
You talkin' about me?
You're terrible.
Come on and buy us dinner, man, since you made us work so hard.
Y'all didn't even finish! Y'all don't deserve no dinner.
[music]
What the?
Holy cow.
Oh my goodness. That is beautiful.
It's got lights and everything.
Yeah, it looks good, don't it?
You did this, Jazmine?
I did.
It was easy, too.
I just went online and looked up the English instructions.
Hey, don't leave the lights on, by the way.
It'll drain the battery.
Y'all be good, now.
That's my girl. Mm, mm, mm.
I am a dummy. Why didn't I just think of that?
Yeah.
You know you sister just out-manned you, right?
[music]