-Ooh, tickling. -I don't...
I don't think tickling is physical touch.
Okay, not physical touch.
Ready? Question number one.
-Okay. -Okay.
Is it more meaningful to you
when I send you a loving text message randomly,
or when you and I hug?
Hm...
Now, are you sending me this text message
because you're about to tell me somethin' bad?
No, I'm sending it because I love you.
Mm.
That sound like a trap.
I'm, I'mma go with hug.
Question number two.
Is it more meaningful to you
when I give you a gift to show my love for you, or...
When we get to spend uninterrupted time together?
Now, are you givin' me a gift because you're about to
tell me somethin' bad?
Okay, why do you keep thinkin' somethin' bad's gonna happen?
'Cause I don't know why you just giving me a random gift!
-I, I... -I give you gifts!
Yeah, I mean, it's nice,
I just wanna know the intention behind it.
-Hey, Dad. -What's happening?
Hey, I got some more groceries in the car,
if you wanna run out and grab those for me?
Yeah, give me a minute, Dad.
Lisa and I are takin' a love language quiz.
Love language, what's that?
Only the five ways romantic couples
express and experience love.
Are there five ways to do that?
Of course.
There's acts of service, quality time,
gift giving, words of affirmation...
That's me.
I love you.
You see?
That's how she likes to receive love.
You needed to take a quiz to do that, huh?
Apparently.
So, you think just blurting out "I love you" randomly
is what I need to feel loved?
Well, that, that's what the results of the quiz said.
Just sayin' words with no meaning,
just so we don't argue?
It's not my love language.
It's not my love language!
You said that we were arguing? What, how did...?
What did I do?
I don't know, but maybe there's a, a quiz we can take
to get to the bottom of it.
'Cause that's not her love language!
[birds chirping]
[plane flying overhead]
[car alarm blaring] [horn honking]
[fireworkds whistling, bursting]
[siren wailing]
Pops.
You're gonna choke.
Why are you eatin' so fast?
I'm supposed to be eatin' healthy like I told your mama,
and bologna sandwich is not on the plan.
[Ella] Curtis!
Dang it!
[Ella] I'm home!
Baby?
What are you doing?
Eating this salad, this salad, like you told me to, baby.
Calvin...
You got two sandwiches, baby?
You really should follow your father's example, baby,
and have a salad.
You really should be like me, Son.
Mom, what, what are you doin' with that light fixture?
To remind your father to put it up.
Curtis, I asked you two weeks ago
to put that up.
Oh, that's right.
Baby, I was watching the game and I forgot.
Okay.
So, Curtis, when are you going to install it?
We paid a lotta good money for this, baby.
-Yeah. -[Ella] Mm!
I'll, I'll install it today.
After the game.
Oh...
So you can forget again?
No, baby, I ain't gonna forget.
You know I ain't gonna forget once I lock it in this head.
Once I lock anything in this head,
it's a steel trap, Ella.
Ain't nothin' gettin' outta here.
-You know that, come on, now. -Curtis...
-You got a better chance of escapin' Alcatraz!
The information's comin' outta this mind
once I done locked it up, ca-clang!
Curtis...
Mom, why don't, why don't you just call a handyman
to put up the light fixture?
That's who I called before I asked your dad to do it.
You wouldn't believe how much they quoted me over the phone
to put this thing up.
Mm! I'm not made outta money.
If I was only so lucky.
Very funny.
Curtis... You know what?
I'm gonna do it myself.
[coughs]
Sorry, baby.
Sorry, baby, I didn't know you were serious.
Mom, I, I can take some time off and put it up for you.
That's okay, I got it.
That's even funnier.
Like they say...
You want somethin' done right?
Do it yourself.
Or like they say,
you want somethin' done right, just remind me after the game.
[sarcastic chuckle]
Three, four...
Is that salmon and collards?
Yes.
Five, six, seven, eight...
It's lookin' a little dry.
It's not.
9, 10, 11, 12...
-Hold on, that's too many. -I know what I'm doing!
-There's too many grapes in-- -If you can hover, you can help.
Hey Mom, can I use your car?
I'm sorry baby, I have to make a run as soon as
I finish cooking, and now I have to start over.
I am sorry.
Well, Dad, can I use yours?
You got gas money?
No, not on me right now, I don't.
Ask your mom.
Three, four, five... Where do you have to go?
Look, I wanted to get Lisa some flowers or somethin'.
Ever since we took this love language quiz,
she's been mad at me.
-14... -Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Payne.
I just wanna grab some apples.
Yeah, they're right over there. Go ahead, help yourself.
Hey, baby.
Oh, not good.
You see what I mean?
-That was bad. -Do you see what I mean?
Stevie Wonder could see what you mean.
All right, I gotta go talk to her.
Oh, look, hold on. Hold on.
You might wanna just give her a little space, you know?
Just let her cool off.
Yeah.
Listen to your dad, okay?
Give her a moment to just calm down,
and then go talk to her.
Okay, but I don't even know how to fix this.
Say, "I'm sorry", don't push it.
But I don't know...
I don't even know what I did wrong.
Man, women like to be right and apologized to,
no matter what the circumstances.
Okay?
Uh-huh, why would you do that?
Why would you put that nonsense in his head, why?
I don't know, baby. I'm sorry.
Thank you.
I just wanna finish...
This shouldn't be too hard.
There is nothing I cannot do with God on my side.
And online tutorials.
[Bob] Hi, I'm Bob.
Hi, Bob.
[Bob] And I'm here to help.
Why, thank you.
[Bob] Did you just buy a fancy new light fixture
and can't afford to pay someone to install it?
Yup, about two weeks ago.
[Bob] Or did that honey-do list you gave your husband
turn into a honey-I'll-do-it-later list?
Heh heh! That, too! [chuckles]
[Bob] No need to worry.
I'll talk you through it in several simple steps.
I'm all ears, Bob.
Talk to me.
Yo, baby.
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Why you shushin'?
-[Ella] Curtis. -This ain't a library.
Curtis, I'm tryin' to listen, baby.
What you watchin'?
Curtis, I am watching an online tutorial
on how to install this fixture.
Ella, come on. Really?
I told you I'd get to it.
Curtis, I'm tired of you gettin' to it.
I need it got.
Okay, look, you made your little point.
Okay? I apologize.
Now, just let me do the doggone thing
before you burn the whole house down.
What's that supposed to mean, Curtis?
Boy, you don't believe I can do this.
Baby, it's not that I don't believe you can do it.
I just don't believe you can do it right.
All right, Curtis.
I'm gonna show you. I'm gonna show you.
I don't need your help, Curtis.
I am going to install this light fixture
all by myself.
All right.
[Bob] Now, find the ground wire.
This step is crucial.
[music]
[Janine] Wow, wow, wow.
Hey, did you have that conversation with Lisa?
Yeah, yeah I did.
So...
Typical miscommunication.
Lisa's love language is words of affirmation,
and Malik just does not understand
how to give that to her.
Oh no, I think her whole argument is bogus.
-Bogus? -[C.J.] Yeah, it's ridiculous.
Malik is loyal to her.
The boy, the boy puts gas in her car.
Right.
He, he fills up, he puts the oil in the car.
Even, he even brings her those gas station flowers.
Oh.
I mean, he does all of this for her.
And what, it's obvious the boy loves her.
Why does she need to hear it every five seconds?
Because some women need more than just to hear "I love you".
In words, you know what I mean?
They need to be uplifted and supported,
and, and empathized with.
All this neediness just seems like some young girl mess.
Oh, how dare you?
Now wait a minute, why would you diminish her feelings?
You don't think I need that stuff, too?
-Huh? -"Huh", you can hear me.
-Wait a minute. -What?
Wait a minute, you not...
You, you not doin' what I think you're doin'.
What you think I'm doin'?
Oh, you about to turn this around
and questionin' my love for you?
-[Janine] No. -My, you...
Me? No.
No, no, no, no.
I'm just letting you know that you're making it very difficult
for me to be able to say the same thing to you.
Excuse me.
-Are you kidding me? -Are you?
Where you goin'?
Gas and oil and gas, gas station roses,
that's what you think shows women love?
That's what you think? After all this time?
Whew! You ain't learn nothin'.
Nothing!
Are you serious?
You're just gon' walk out?
Hey.
I hope your mom got her passport out, man,
'cause she is trippin'.
I ain't gonna lie to you, Dad, that was pretty corny.
I don't even know where you came up with that from.
That's what we used to say in the '90s.
Clearly. We don't say that no more.
But, look. It can't be that bad.
Look...
Your mom, like, act like I be out in the streets,
runnin' the streets all night.
Man, look.
At the end of the day, I come home.
Okay?
That's how you show Mom you love her?
You come home?
How do you celebrate her birthday?
You wake up?
Like, I'm confused.
Listen, you, you can laugh all you want, player, you know?
But back in the day, there were generations of men,
that's how they showed their love for their wives.
Right? They didn't have time for
all of this extra flowery love affirmation stuff
that you into.
First of all, I ain't into it,
but that's a different generation, Dad.
The sentiment is the same!
True. I understand that, Dad.
But she doesn't.
You think she don't know?
Clearly, she doesn't.
Y'all goin' through this right now!
We ain't goin' through nothin'!
-Okay. -She just makin' up stuff!
Okay, you go tell her that.
-She know what it is. -Okay!
She knows what it is.
You still talkin' to me, go talk to her.
That's why I'm here talkin' to you.
Exactly.
Don't you think it's a little early to be day drinking?
It's daytime, ain't it?
Besides, I just need a little bit of grape juice
to calm my nerves.
C.J. knows how to push my buttons, I swear he does.
Okay, you don't think you bein' a little hard on Mr. Payne?
I think you're about to miss out on some really good grape juice.
Well, I wouldn't wanna do that.
Don't you start.
Don't do it, all right? I'm in a mood.
I'm just sayin',
everybody know how much Mr. Payne loves you.
How?
For one, he takes into consideration your feelings.
And he laughs at your jokes when they not even that funny.
My jokes... Okay, wait.
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana" is a classic,
I stand by that.
Works every time.
Still, it's not as funny as he lets you think it is,
and he only laughs at it so he doesn't hurt your feelings.
I still need more.
Then talk to him.
I mean, with love at the foundation,
there's nothin' you two can't talk about.
Just like you're talking to Malik?
Okay, now you're in my business.
You said what?
Cheers!
[music]
How do I put 'em on? Okay.
[Bob] Push the marettes in and make sure they are secure.
What the devil is a marette?
What the?
Mom, what's goin' on?
I'm working.
Okay, Ella, come on, baby.
Will you let it go?
Please, I told you I'd get it.
Curtis, I don't need you to get it.
I'm gonna do this by myself.
-Are you sure about that? -Yes.
Because it looks like a hardware store
threw up in here.
Okay, Curtis. I like it like this.
I like my tools spread out just like this,
so I can see them.
I bet you don't know one tool from another.
No, I don't. Not yet.
You know what, Mom? Let me help you.
No, no, Calvin, no, no, baby.
I'm good!
Well, if this is you good,
I'mma go get a fire extinguisher before I see bad.
Okay, thank you. Bye-bye.
No, thank you! Bye-bye.
Okay, a marette. What the devil is a marette?
Okay, I don't understand.
Why, why do they call her Eleven?
Because of the tattoo they found on her arm.
Okay, and weren't they just in 1983?
Where, where are they now?
In an alternate dimension called the Upside Down.
Okay?
Now they gotta get outta there
before the Mind Slayer and the Demagogues
turn the whole planet into superorganisms.
Okay, I only understood about half of what you said.
What's up?
I hope they not still mad at each other.
Yeah, this is wild.
I mean, this is the most I've seen your parents argue.
Yeah, I mean...
And if they just listened to each other,
they can clear all this up.
Yeah, and I know how much your dad loves your mom.
I mean, just the other day,
I came home and he was makin' a flower box
to go outside your mom's window.
What?
I didn't know my dad was into flowers like that.
He's not.
He said Mrs. Payne likes to wake up
to see flowers blooming.
So, he wanted to surprise her.
This is crazy.
Because this is such a easy fix.
I mean, all Mom wants is just words of encouragement
and a little I love you's thrown on top.
I mean, it's...
similar to exactly what you wanted.
You still the smartest man I know.
Look, baby, I'm sorry.
And I'm gonna do better.
You already are.
[music]
Hey, that's that.
What do you think?
It looks nice.
Come on, Curtis, come on. Give me some credit.
Baby, I'll give you credit when you turn it on
and we can't see your skeleton, like a cartoon.
Calvin.
Can you do me the honor and have the power turned on?
Thank you.
You gon' learn today, Curtis Payne.
Okay, don't get too cocky.
I'm ready, just in case.
Curtis.
All right, I turned the power on.
Okay, my first job as a handywoman.
Ready? Okay.
Countdown. Three, two...
One.
[laughs triumphantly]
How you like me now?!
How you like me now?
Wow, you know baby,
I never doubted you for one second.
-Curtis... -I'm sorry I doubted you.
[Ella] Curtis.
Look...
Nothing says sorry like a homecooked meal.
I'm sorry I doubted you.
Really?
Really, Curtis? Really?
You know I respect you.
Because I should be the one apologizin', baby.
I love that, I love that about you...
Curtis!
Well, I know you don't expect me to cook.
Apology accepted.
I'd like dinner at six... please.
Mezuzah, 75 points, triple word.
Give me my points. Thank you!
Mezuzah?
That sounds like a fancy way of sneezin'.
You can't just be makin' up words!
No, no, a mezuzah is a real word.
It's like a, a tiny little box with prayers written in it
that Jewish people hang on their doorway.
-Oh. -Mm-hm.
I had a Jewish boyfriend before.
He said they was the chosen people.
He kept cheatin' on me,
so I chose to bust out his windshield.
Okay.
That escalated quickly.
Hey, Dad.
We're playin' a board game, you wanna join us?
Mezuzah?
Yeah.
If y'all lettin' people just make up all kinda words,
yeah, I'll play.
Here, you can sit next to me, Mr. Payne.
You know what, actually,
I don't feel like playing anymore.
Okay, hold on, hold on, Mom.
This tension between you two, it has to stop.
Exactly. Come on, Mrs. Payne.
You know Mr. Payne loves you.
How?
He always takes your feelings into consideration.
And it's the little things he does,
like the flower box he put outside your window.
I mean, I know you want a little more,
but let's not forget about all the good.
Exactly. And, and Dad, Mom appreciates all of the things
that you do for her.
She just wants you to tell her more how you appreciate her,
and how much she means to you.
Actions speaks louder than words.
And my actions say, "I love you."
Yes, Dad, that's your love language.
Okay, you are loving her the way
that you would want someone to love you.
You're not treating her how she wants to be treated.
[Lisa] Now...
We're gonna go leave and let you two talk it out.
You wanna go on a walk in the moonlight?
That sounds very romantic.
Now wait a minute, you two made up?
After watching y'all two go through it?
We had to talk.
Yep, and after we talked, we worked everything out.
So, now it's you all's turn.
They bought the whole thing.
Yeah.
I knew once they saw how silly we were being,
they'd figure it out. Oh hi, baby.
-Yes. -Yes.
You wanna go join them on that walk?
I'd rather watch you walk upstairs,
since they're gone and the twins are asleep.
You wanna watch me?
-I'm gonna get some me time. -Yeah?
-Some we time. -Some we time!
Let's get some we time.
Watch this, watch this. Okay.
Oh, I'm watchin'.
-[Lisa] A little extra. -[C.J.] I'm watchin'.
You see what I did there?
[C.J.] Oh, I see what you did.
Well, come on!
What the hell?
Ella!
[Ella] Yeah?
Baby! Come here!
Baby, we got a leak in the roof over there.
You may wanna go ahead on and, and patch that up
-before we get water damage. -[laughs]
I'mma have to watch a tutorial on that one, Curt!
I'mma watch it, after I finish this tutorial in here.
You know I'm fixin' the kitchen sink.
Okay.
Yeah, but I got to, I'll be right back.
-[Curtis] All right. -[Ella] I got it, Curt.
-[Curtis] All right, El. -[Ella] I'll be right back, now.
Taking it a little too serious.
[music]