- Well, we have an Oscar winning writer
named talent attached
and the whole town is talking about our movie.
Where did we go wrong?
- And it's all one big fat lie.
- Like faking an orgasm.
- Tell me about it.
- I've never done that before.
- Now what?
- I guess we make a movie?
- How?
- The way everybody else does?
- Movies cost money.
- Maybe I'll go ahead and let guys pet the puss
for some extra tips?
- That's a good idea.
Maybe I'll do the same thing for tips.
- Maybe we'll just let it quietly all go away.
Pretend it never happened.
- How do we explain it to all the managers and agents?
Studios,
Willard,
Archie ball.
- Well, Hey, maybe Arch ball will never finish the script.
Clearly his memory isn't that sharp.
I mean, he remembered me
but he couldn't remember me from where.
- Do you?
- Of course the club. Where else?
I kind of remember him.
He always smelled of suntan oil
and he wore these thin sweat pants.
- Eeww.
- Oh man, he got a good size member. It was girthy.
- What?
He did and he was a good tipper too.
- So Cas, this was your plan.
- Now what?
- What?
My plan?
- You're the one who got Mabel involved.
- She's right.
- I can't believe you guys going to try to pin this
all on me.
Okay. Yeah, I guess I did.
- Mm-hmm. -
- Okay. I say we bury it.
Just, you know, forget the whole stupid thing
and work hard at our careers.
- I think you're right.
I think we need back out of this thing
before blows up in our face and we're black bold.
- Huh?
- Why?
- It's from Mabel.
Hey girl,
just wanted to let you know the press release dropped today.
It's official.
No turning back now.
Smiley face.
- Fuck
- This our final center now.
Need you all to take a deep breath
in through your nose.
And then a big sigh.
- Again now.
- Good.
This one is called the Mr. Bubble breath.
It's like you're sleeping into a warm soothening
bubble bath.
Whatever makes you feel.
Relaxed.
- How about they just had great sex breath.
- That's very funny.
But let's take this seriously. Okay?
Again.
I've had a knot in my stomach ever since
the press release has dropped.
That's a good thing we signed up for this
breath work class then.
You relax you.
okay now.
-
- I'm serious.
It's good and very battling for us.
Cas. You need to chill out. Okay?
It has a pair of short memory.
That's not what your acting teacher said.
She said, we need to keep our noses clean
not get involved in any scandal.
- Ladies, people are here to feel the power of the universe.
Caressing them.
Penetrating them.
Not through you chit-chat.
- Sorry.
- Sorry. Sorry.
- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
- Okay. Let's all get rid of that stagnant
energy.
All right. This is my newest one
called the alternating nostril breath.
Cas, if you have gold feet, back out.
Much more reason I'm all in.
Yeah. But I have more to lose than you do.
What the does that mean?
I didn't mean it like that.
Seriously? I wasn't rude.
I was just saying
you both have jobs to go back to
and pay the bills.
I don't have a backup plan.
Listen, it's going to be fine.
That'll perv hasn't written it marketable script.
Since I was an ache.
What makes you think he's going to start now?
- They say the first draft is usually a piece of .
Well, not this one.
gold.
- Oh, that's exciting.
- They're replacing your mantle girls and lay off the carbs.
So you look good in your red carpet gowns.
- Deep Gorge Drifters.
- Great title, right?
- Is that like um.
Euthanism?
- Not all myth.
- Huh? Okay, good.
Cause it sounds a little, you know.
- No. No. It is a direct reference to the vagina.
The birthplace of all life on this planet.
An allegory of rebirth. It is a beautiful thing.
The goop shoot, honeypot, but whisker biscuits.
- Okay. We get it.
the bacon sandwich, the bearded clam, the wizard's sleeve.
- Hold up. Mine's tight.
- Oh.
- Wow. I can't wait to read it.
you can't wait.
Cause it's one of the best things I've ever written.
it's got everything.
Action, romance, entry. I wrote the hell out of your parts.
You're never going to get anything.
This is meaty written for you ever again.
You're just going to want to suck every word
right off the bone.
- So who do we play?
- Three guns slinging fugitives
sisters hiding out in a small town
after avenging the death of your father
at the hands of his partner.
And the Tory's land barren.
- Sounds like a real script.
- You're hiding the loot you stole from.
And even though it's rightfully yours, you have to lay low.
And while you do,
you each fall in love with local woman
who you cannot let discover your secret.
I tell you I'm tingling.
- I'm actually a little hard.
Just like I wasn't around at the end of the
last screen by the one being Oscar.
This is big girls!
And it's got everything you asked for,
including a great part for Harpo
- ah. Willard.
- Now the question is, are you ready for it?
- Um. I guess.
- Oh. No, no, no.
Come on now.
Are
You
Ready?
- For what?
- To ride out your lives.
- So he did remember me.
- Oh, you must be very proud.
- That just proves that I'm not easy to forget.
you.
- Thanks babe.
Let's give her a little chance
to read the script
maybe he'll hate it.
Well, maybe he'll think it's dated and irrelevant.
- I love it!
It's current.
It's relevant.
It's a masterpiece.
- That good, huh?
- No.
It's great.
Dickey
- But probably too expensive, right?
- Well normally I would say yes
but I know someone with a Western ranch.
We can get it for nothing on authentic Western town.
Actually they owed me a favor.
I was a celebrity host
at a fundraiser for terminally ill kids.
Terminally ill kids.
What are the odds?
- That's about it?
Just like somebody died.
You should be happy.
Okay. Is this the pasta some wrong with the pasta?
I can go back and whip up something.
- No. Willard. The pasta is fine.
- What is it?
Is it me?
You don't want me in your movie?
This was it.
My big comeback role.
And I'm not what you want.
- No ladies.
I really didn't want to tell you, but I've been really sick.
- Oh god.
- Oh my god. Willard.
- This was going to be my last big role
before I go to that big movie studio. I'm just glad.
- Why didn't you say something earlier?
- Do you see what I did there?
I got you.
That was some U S D A Prime grade A acting
right before your very eyes.
That was good.
You had me.
- You need me in your movie.
- Cheese?
- Yes.
- Okay. Okay. No cheese.
- I can't do this anymore.
- Do what?
- Cas.
- There's no movie.
- Excuse me?
- There's no movie.
I'm sorry, Willard.
This has gotten out of hand and I can't keep it up.
Girls. I'm really sorry.
- No. Don't. It's okay.
- Yeah. You should know the truth.
- The truth.
What is the truth?
- We started this as a goof, sort of.
Nope, just a
a scheme to jumpstart our careers.
- Maybe meet some in.
- Husbands.
I mean, it's not like I can't get a man but.
- We wanted to create some work for ourselves
and to network, to do something anything
to get to the next level.
We're tired of watching other actors get all the parts when
we know we're just as good.
- Or better.
- Or better. Right!
you don't get gas
because so-and-so has more followers or whatever.
we never thought it would take off like this.
- That's for sure.
- We're really sorry.
- So there's no movie?
- No, there's no movie.
- My dream of being in a Western is over
before whatever started.
- Oh god. We really suck.
- You fooled me.
- I know and please, please accept our apology.
- No, you really made a fool out of me.
You saw me as an easy target.
Somebody you could take advantage of.
in my life and in my career
but what's worse is?
I really grown to care about you three.
And you sitting here in my house
eating my food and it's all a lot.
You probably have never seen the color purple.
- No. Of course! - 6 times!
- We're like 60.
- So just, just go.
- Willard.
- No. Please go.
- Okay girls, let's go.
- Gotcha! -
- See what I did there?
- I beg your pardon?
great actor.
And we're going to make this day a movie.
- Oh my god, I felt so bad.
- You think I didn't see the three
of y'all coming from a mile away?
- What?
- I have been in this industry over 40 years.
- I can tell whether a project is real.
And when it's not, or when you're just talking or blowing
smoke up my colon, it tickles.
I sense something specially
and this script is off the chain.
We're going to make this move.
- How?
- I have no clue.
- Let's hear it from Valentina.
Now.
Give it up for crystal.
- Hi Walter, having fun?
- You always asked me the same question.
Am I having fun?
- Sorry. It's a habit, I guess. We ask all the guys.
- Am I just one of the guys?
- No. When I ask you, I really mean it.
You're one of the few in here whose company I enjoy.
You're like my homie.
- I think of you as a friend too.
What's wrong?
- Nothing. You want to dance?
- Come on now.
Something's going on?
- Yeah, but I get paid to help people forget their trouble.
So.
- There's time for that later.
Right now.
I want to know what's on your mind.
- So, you know, I do this for the money, right?
But I'm really an actress.
- I imagine this isn't the dream job
for most girls.
But an actress. Huh?
That's exciting.
- Yeah. So me and my friends, we decided to make a movie.
We'll pretend to make one
- Pretend? But why?
- To create some buzz
- To get our social media numbers up
manifest some acting opportunities.
I don't know.
- It's just stupid.
- Sounds pretty creative actually.
What's the problem?
- All of a sudden, this lie just grew and grew and grew
until we couldn't control it anymore.
Now agents are calling.
And actors are trying to set up meetings.
And we have this amazing script.
- Hold on.
Agents are calling?
- Yeah.
- You have a good script?
- It's everything written by this old writer.
Archibald Maxwell
- Archibald Maxwell!
- You've heard of him?
- Good Lord.
He's a legend.
- Well, he wrote this cool Western for me
and my friends.
Great roles for all of us.
We even have this actor Willard Peuden Bolt.
He's been in a bunch of great movies.
- So where's the problem?
As they say
a problem well-put
is half solved.
- Well, we don't have a single cent to make the movie
nothing.
Since this is all just one big fat lie.
- But think about it.
Isn't that how all movies get started?
A good script, a great cast?
- I suppose so? But then they can go to an investor
or a studio to get their movie made.
And that's the piece we ain't got.
- So
how much you need?
- I don't know.
It's big.
It's a period Western.
With it's costumes?
Special effects?
Stunts? Horses?
- Will a million dollars do it.
- Yeah. Maybe I'll skip up a million dollar bills tonight.
- You don't have to.
I'm good for it.
- Okay. Ha-ha.
Let's get you that dance.
- I'm serious.
I've got lots of money and not many years left to spend it.
No kids,
wife died.
I could leave it all to Bootsie
but he probably voted all in catnip.
- Wait, so you're not kidding?
- I wouldn't mind investing in an Archibald Maxwell film.
And then in you of course
- Look at me, Walter.
That's crazy.
I don't know how we would ever even be able to pay you back?
- So
don't
it's just money
- A million dollars?
- Is that enough?
I don't know much about these things.
with me, right?
- Enjoy. - Thank you.
- So what's the news?
- Hold on.
We need our champagne first.
girl. You ordered the good stuff.
What did little Wayne visit the club last time?
- No, even better.
- So I told you guys about Walter, right?
- Yeah. Sure. The old dude with the dog .
- Stop. No.
- What is it?
- Anyway. Okay.
Okay. So he's giving us money to make the movie.
- What?!
- Yes!
Somebody put out of the VIP room.
- How much money?
- Wait for it.
Wait for it.
A million dollar!
What!
- Oh my god. How did you put out in the VIP room?
- Are you serious? It's amazing!
heart attack!
- We're going to have to give all Walter a tripper.
- I mean he deserves it
but he just really wants to help us Ali.
- Guys. Ladies we are doing this.
- Oh my god.
- Here's the hottest producing team in Hollywood.
- Come on hottest.
- So even with a million dollars, that feels good.
- This director is probably out of our budget range,
but miracles do happen, right?
- That's right, right.
- Thanks for setting this up.
- Oh, Hey. You'd be amazed at who I meet
when I'm parking cars on Hollywood.
- We are working it ladies working it.
- Is that him?
- Hey!
- Hey.
- That is him.
- Ladies.
- Hi. - Hector.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
- Sorry. I'm late.
- Where were you at some big Hollywood meeting
at Warner Brothers or Universal?
- Bigger, better?
My son's piano recital.
- No, a single dad duties.
- I hear you.
Mine's five.
- Six and eight.
- Huh. Okay. Your aunt's full?
Sure. Do.
- Oh, let's sit?
- Yeah. Okay. - That's good.
- Yes.
- Champagne?
- Sure! Thanks. Why not?
- It's good to see you again.
- Yes. Yes. I've been meaning to ask you about the
missing change in my car.
- Ha-ha-ha. Very funny.
- So. Can I just start by saying, I love the script.
I absolutely love it.
I do really.
- Honestly, iit turned out way better
than we could have dreamed it would.
- The writer really brought it
- And he's a little acentric
but the man is a genius.
- Clearly.
- So you consider directing it?
- Course.
Are you kidding me?
These don't come around often.
What is the
budget?
- A million
- Check please.
- A million. That's it really?
- Well, we understand that in your world that is not
a lot of money, but to us it's
- Not a lot. That was the catering budget
on my last film.
- I mean, we could get more. I could ask.
- Like a hundred million more?
- No, like no, maybe
like a hundred grand more maybe or something.
- Oh, you're breaking my heart.
- Yeah. No, nevermind it's tight. No doubt.
- Thank you.
Wow.
Okay. Cheers.
- A million.
- Yeah.
- I love the script.
I really, really do, but I just don't think
I can do the script justice at that budget.
Okay.
maybe, maybe we pitched a studio.
- No
The first thing they'll do is try to tell us
why we can't start our own movie.
- It's show business.
So you're absolutely right about that.
- Funny thing is we never thought we'd get this far.
- We didn't.
- And we are making a movie together.
People are starting to pay attention
- And we aren't changing the rules of the game.
This is our baby, our rules.
- And was written for us to star in.
And that's the deal breaker.
- And that's great. Look, I get it sticking to your guns.
I liked that.
listen, I've been in this business for a long time.
I have a lot of big films under my belt and it took a lot
a lot of hard work to get to where I am.
- But there's something to be said for
passion projects, right?
- Of course, of course.
There's the ones you do for a paycheck.
And there's the one you do for soul.
This, this has soul.
It's fun.
It pointed it's thrilling, man.
It's got it all heavy in a good way.
- So?
- Consider directing?
Gosh.
As much as I would like to say yes.
- Then say yes.
It's a little tiny word.
Very short.
Yes. See?
Super easy.
that's cute.
But my agents would kill me.
It's like going backwards in my career.
You have to understand that, right?
- Yeah. I mean, we get it.
- Do we get it.
So you're gonna leave us to the alter then, huh?
- I know, I know.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- You guys look.
I'm sure you'll be fine.
You know what? I'll be the first one standing in line
to get a ticket.
And if you need anything, anything at all
don't hesitate to call me.
You have my number. Okay?
- Anything? Like direct our movie?
- Except that.
- Okay. Okay.
So I guess that's it.
Would you like to join us for lunch?
- Unfortunately, I can't.
I have to go relieve the sitter single dad duties.
- Single dad. I get it.
- Well look, good luck.
And I am sorry.
- Thank you. - It's nice to meet you.
- It was nice to meet you too.
- All right ladies. Enjoy your lunch.
- Take care.
I wasn't. That was supposed to go.
- It's too bad.
He's cute.